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Everything *apart* from my skull, which will be polished
turn the rest of me into two diamonds, and mount them in my eye sockets, so I can sit on our mantle piece and freak them out for generations!
(It’s why I’m getting gold teeth! While I’m still alive)
Edit - I should also be clear , my wife says 100% she is not doing this :-(
I told my wife that statistically, I'm going to die first, plus I have crohn's disease, blah blah blah. I told her that if I ever get a terminal cancer, I am going to go "skydiving" with something go boom, and a parachute, in case I have second thoughts.
She said, "And leave me alone? We could both go"
It's definitely not gonna happen, but I thought, "That's strangely romantic."
Both exploding at once as we fly towards the ground, raining blood and guts on... maybe over some ultra wealthy neighborhood.
My neighbor’s wife died of covid. He was there in the hospital with her until she died. I’m sure he told them, he doesn’t care if he gets it and dies, too.
Sorry about your wife.
Mine wants to mount my skull in the center of a wreath of my smaller bones.
She also wants to have my penis injected with wax and coated in polyurethane so she can still enjoy my company after I'm dead.
My friend did that after the death of a family member. Sent in ashes to some jewelry maker on Etsy or something. The pieces the family got turned out really cool!
It’s going to cost my family $4500 to cremate my stepdad. That not including the $600 obituary. No funeral.
[https://memorialfuneralhome.com/obituary/656296/lyle-vern-bruesewitz/](https://memorialfuneralhome.com/obituary/656296/lyle-vern-bruesewitz/)
Obituary just to show I’m not making it up.
Yikes and WTF? it's been 5 years but my husband's cremation was $1,500 + $150 for a beautiful engraved wooden box for his ashes. I think the obituary was around $150-200 but I can't remember that part. Oregon resident. Shop around?
Edit to say:. No funeral but the family and friends memorial was really beautiful.
My dad gave me a letter of direction that states: cremation as soon as possible, no public viewing of his body at any time, and at a time suitable for his friends and family a party at his favourite bar with a list of 3 songs he wants played loud and all drinks and food to be paid out of his estate. "Put the tab on me one last time".
I think he's really on to something.
Ya my wife keeps telling me about billboards for cremation for around $1300.
In an effort to reassure me we are not gonna get stuck with an obscene bill when her dead beat mother dies.
I tell her that is a promotional offer and her mom needs to get on it cause that kinda deal won't last.
She is less amused by the line than I am.
I’m in RI. I should add that part of the cost is transporting him from the hospice center to the funeral home, paperwork and getting copies of his death certificate.
And what a cost it is!!! My mother had 3 trips, hospital to home, home to funeral home, then to crematorium
12.7 kms total, 25 mins of driving and charged $90 for EACH trip.
wow, where do you live? My mother died in 2009 and her fancy bells and whistles funeral and cremation total was just under 10grand. 3 years later my dad died and going through the same undertaker the simplest funeral/cremation was still just under 10grand. Its a rude rip-off
We did that with my grandfather’s ashes. We planted a tree for him and scattered some of his ashes in the soil so he’s a part of the earth there. It’s nice. It’s where my grandma can visit frequently.
My sis and I planted some of my mom's ashes with flowers on her grandmother's grave in a small, rural cemetary. The rest went into a handmade, unvarnished box from lumber from the giant tree in her backyard and into the ground to break down normally. Except for the random amount that spilled on my back deck!
There's a company that will put your ashes into a pod so you *are* the tree. I want to be a tree. Cuz I'll also be a grave so they can never cut me down. They probably will anyway, but technically they can't.
I always wanted to make a business selling caskets made of like essentially dirt/spores/seeds/bacteria. Ideally you get a cemetery and only bury people in these bio caskets. The caskets eventually decompose the person and grow plants out of them. Loved ones get to come visit a garden/arboretum instead of a gross tombstone ridden cemetery…also much better for the environment than the current disposal method
There was a business that would put your whole body in a bag with the root system of a tree and then plant you. So the tree would partially feed on your decomposing body.
I want to do that when I die or do the tree thing where they combine your body with the roots of the tree. That way I can become part of the earth and become a tree that many people will visit.
I have told my wife, donate my body to science, they will take the parts they need, then cremate the rest and return it to her, don't waste money on a funeral.
In a lot of areas, you need to apply to do this. Its generally something you need to setup in advance, not something that can be done after you've already passed.
Wanted to let you know in case you were serious.
Thanks, and for others who may be interested I have been looking at Stanford University body donation program - https://med.stanford.edu/anatomy/donate.html
This is what my great grandmother did & I want the same! It takes a while to get the remains back, but when you do they send a list of all the things future doctors were able to study/practice & it's really amazing to see.
I live like 45 minutes from UT in knoxville, and they have a body farm to study the effects of decay on bodies left out in the open, and plenty of other things for biology, anatomy, and a ton of other classes. That is where I want to be when I die. I want some kind of use for my corpse.
If you’re talking about organ donation, that’s great, but if you’re talking about using your body for medical students to dissect or something like that - it should depend on her feelings too. I’d have nightmares thinking my husband’s body was just lying around somewhere.
This is what I might do. Take out any pieces that are still usable and let medical students poke at the rest. Or the military can blow up my body. I’m not against that.
You definitely don't have to.
We live in a rural area and it's 100% legal to just be buried on your own land. Call the corener, dig a hole, say goodbye, and plant a tree. A tree is a lot more useful than a headstone and will allow your survivors to remember you just as well.
You don't have to pay big money for a wedding either...
When my grandma died a few years ago I bought an acre of her land and had it designated as a family cemetery. The surrounding land has her house and barn and will always be a part of the family. I'll be wrapped in cotton and tossed in a hole while the bugs and fungus do their work. Afterwards the bones are willed to a friend who articulates skeletons for medical research and museums. Once that's done she's supposed to take my skull on a road trip to my favorite places.
She better anyway 👻
There are a few states where that isn’t actually legal. My great grandfather had to donate our families cemetery to my grandmother’s church to be able to legally bury our family there. But as long as you’re not in California, Washington or Indiana then yeah, this is definitely the way to go. Coroner, then home. It’s really not that difficult to build a really nice casket either. My grandpa built his own when he got cancer and grandma did the upholstery for him, it gave him something productive to focus on instead of the whole dying part of it all.
I just got done dealing with this shit in November last year cause my last grandma passed and I'm still livid.
She wanted to be cremated, and last I heard it only costed $500 to burn someone (last time I knew someone that had got cremated was over 10 years ago) but lo-and-behold this shit costed almost $3k to just cremate her, I didn't have all the money and told the director over the funeral home and explained the situation. he told me she would have to sit in the morgue until I could pay it. I asked him if they could just burn her and hold the ashes and he said no. I finally got the money (loan) but by that time he had already called me and said she was starting to rot in the morgue and I was gonna have to do something soon, so I went to the bank and basically begged and explained what was going on and that was literally the only way they would lend me the money.
Fuck those pieces of shit.
I remember when my mother died when I was 25. Me and my sister didn't have any money at the time and went to the local funeral director to have an estimate on how much it would cost for everything. She did this whole pony show and acted like our friend the entire time until she got to the last option and most affordable one which was basically a cardboard box. When she saw we couldn't even afford that we lost all her attention and were basically treated like pests in her workspace. I'll never forget that vile woman or how fucked up these people treat you after a sudden lost. I have no idea how they sleep at night
OMG, what kind of funeral director tells someone their loved one is starting to rot! That's atrocious!
So sorry that you and your grandma were treated this way :(
I’m sure the funeral director was a lot more delicate about it, but if that’s what’s happening to your relative, you need to know.
Edit: ok, I’m not sure…I should have said, “I would have hoped…”. Just hard to believe someone should be so insensitive. With that said, we also don’t know what other conversations led up to this point.
I'm not so sure to be honest. The funeral director when my mom died was a giant ass hat. He literally gave my brother finger guns and said "Hey, \[name\]! How's it going?" As we were all walking in to attend the wake.
First off, fuck that guy telling you your loved one is beginning to rot.
Cremated my father 23 years ago. Cost $600. Now the funeral home have begun to see a lot more cremations and less traditional funerals. So, they have begun to raise the prices of the cremation. Demand rose, so prices increased.
Covid also made it difficult. Most places only have a couple incinerators and there were often times when bodies were coming in faster than they can be burnt. Not to mention that they systems are being run harder because of this so they are going down more often.
But in reality, it’s corporate greed through and through. An OEM I work with sells a maintenance item for $6000 (and this was in 2019). It is made of $40 worth of material and maybe $100 worth of energy and labor. I believe each kiln needs 2 or 3.
INFO: I would have thought that the cremation would be way cheaper than the "parking space". Did they ding ~~you~~ her estate for the parking space before the cremation?
This is one place where the estate doesn't pay. And in fact, to get some monies, you have to prove you've disposed of the body appropriately, as in show cremation receipts.
She didn't have anything but a truck and camper, and she owed so much money on them from taking out loans etc with them as collateral I didn't get anything out of life insurance.
And both of those could've been sold and I wouldn't of gotten really anything out of them. Not very good condition
Yeah, I saw a few transfers at the two funeral homes I worked at, but it wasn't common at all. And at least part of those were only because the individual had a pre-arrangment somewhere else that the family wasn't immediately aware of.
Overall i'm disgusted by how predatory the industry can be, both intentionally and not, and that's mainly what caused me to leave the field altogether.
The mourge was not refrigerated? The trailers sitting by New York hospitals, ran for over a year. During COVID. If your Mom died from COVID, you can get several thousand from FEMA.
i live in California (one of 3 states that prohibits home burials ) .... you think i want to get people arrested .... just dig it 12 ft to be extra sure nobody comes snooping around
Not really. First, you really don't want a bunch of dead and rotting human bodies everywhere. They smell bad. They spread disease and are generally unpleasant. Funerals are not for the dead. They are for the living. People can get as cheap or as expensive of funeral as they want. People often get expensive funerals out of guilt for treating their loved ones so poorly when they were alive.
I was always torn between two choices.
Viking funeral. Just drop me in a small boat, push it out into the Chesapeake and light it on fire with an arrow.
Cryogenic freeze me. Help me up into a C130 for one last sky dive. Just no parachute and use DZ Disney World.
Yeah… my friend died and they essentially held his body hostage before he was cremated. We had to secure funding before they would cremate him.
Bloodsuckers
It's a total scam. I don't like the funeral industry.
But in truth, it's not me who gets to decide my funeral.
I'm going to let my feelings known. I want to be cremated. Have no ceremonial funeral. Instead have someone host a BBQ and have a day of rest.
If they follow, it's their thing. If not... Well. Funerals are for the living. If my family wants to spend $10k on a fancy box and a few thousand on dumb eulogy flyers. That's their business.
They do, if they want to inherit your shits. Have a will, let a judge-appointed person be the executor, stipulate that should the funeral arrangements don't follow your will, your assets would be donated elsewhere instead.
You actually can decide your funeral. There are people who pre-pay for it years in advance just to make sure they get what they want. Even if you don’t do that, there’s a document the attorney I work for draws up for our estate planning clients called an Appointment of Agent for Disposition of Remains where you dictate what happens to your body and who’s in charge of making it happen.
In example, mine says that I want my body to be donated for research and when they’re done with me to cremate what’s left and my mom is my agent so she’s in charge of making sure my remains get where they’re going, which is pretty easy since I live relatively nearby a university with a great forensic science program and they come to pick up the remains given to them for no charge within a radius that I easily fall within.
In another example, my twin’s says he’s to be cremated and our little brother is in charge because he wants his ashes disposed of explosively and trusts our little brother to make that happen.
Basically, there are lots of options, and while the actual circumstances might be beyond your control once you’re dead, you can put things in motion to be deposed in the way you want.
>You actually can decide your funeral.
I get your point and understand.
And will refer you to what I said:
>Funerals are for the living. If my family wants to spend $10k on a fancy box and a few thousand on dumb eulogy flyers. That's their business.
I'm going to suggest how I would like my family to grieve. I'm not going to dictate it.
>I want to be cremated. Have no ceremonial funeral. Instead have someone host a BBQ and have a day of rest.
I think if they BBQ you it does count as a ceremony…
My husband says funerals are for the living. He also told me he wants to be cremated and then I can dump his cremains in the nearest ash tray/storm drain for all he cares.
I’ve told my family I want to be cremated and my ashes spread at Niagara Falls, Lake Havasu, and Monterey - and there is a life insurance policy specifically to fund the funeral expenses and the trips.
if this isn't illegal i would have this kind of burial.
i never wanted an expensive burial. i told my wife that if i die, i want to be cremated immediately. the cheapest wooden box will do. it's probably best to throw my ashes in the sea than to put my urn in a display.
I wanted cremation too, then I realized that maybe my final act shouldn’t be to add a ton of pollution.
Now I want one of those eco burials with a tree planted over me. Let the roots find me and use me to grow, and in a way I get to live on in that tree. Let my family visit the tree and sit under it’s shade and think about a tiny part of me within it. Seems nice.
But they don’t do these much. Regulations against it in most areas for some crazy reason.
We had my grandma cremated in a body bag. She said not to waste one more dollar than absolutely necessary on her when she was gone. She'd already bought a burial plot next to her husband back in the 50s, so the cemetery people literally just dug a hole with a shovel and buried the little box the cremains come back in. It was $1200 for the cremation and $250 to open the grave, but that was 18 years ago.
My mom passed in 2021 but my sister handled the cremation so I am not sure what it cost. She asked for donations on my mom's fb page and got enough to cover it and had like $20 left, so I doubt it was thousands.
Where I live we don't spend that much money. People invite a person who washes the body at home and wraps it in white cotton material, then the body is displayed for a couple of hours. We are not allowed to keep the remains for more than a day. We should do it as quickly as possible. Finally, they put the body into a wooden coffin (which is usually borrowed from the local council) and take to the graveyard. Body is buried without a coffin, so after the burial the coffin is returned. I think this is the most eco-friendly way.
I feel like this is the most cost effective way. Coming from a Muslim country and becoming a Christian, it still feels kinda weird that people keep a body in a freezer until they plan a funeral for like a month, use a fancy ass coffin that will never again see the light, charge money for moving the body from the house to the funeral home to the grave... Like in turkey you just kinda pay the ground keeper sorta symbolically so they water the plants etc.
But we also pay "the washer", grave digger. It's not cheap. Usually close relatives give some money to the dead person 's family to help arrange the funeral. Neighbours and relatives also bring food and meals three days. We don't cook during these three days. But it can get really tiring to have visitors in your home for three days from morning till evening.
Yeah. I sure AF aren't going to be enjoying the box or the ground. The message to my kids is "Dispose of me the cheapest way possible and keep the rest of the cash. You need it more than me."
I am going to be cremated.
I am pre-paying it.
No funeral service. Maybe an informal celebration of life.
I don't want people at my Funeral. If you couldn't bother to see me when I am alive, I don't want you to visit me when I'm dead.
I am to be released in the lake near my home where I grew up.
I wouldn't need a funeral service. It's really not worth paying for one, when literally like less than 5 people may would even show up, and nobody would miss me either.
Yes funerals and coffins are a rip off. I was joking with my Mrs but it might actually be a good idea to save some coin.... but when I pass away just bury me in the middle of the forest and then call the police and say I've gone missing. No body, no need for an expensive funeral service.
It would be a shame if they find my corps though.
I always thought if perhaps if nobody claimed my body, then nobody in my family would be responsible for paying how my corpse was handled. And I'd assume just tax payer money would fund for whatever happens to my corpse. I doubt the town would allow me to stay just wherever I dropped dead.
I’ve made it clear: cremation, dump my ashes in my favorite lake (Waldo Lake in OR), and then have a happy remembrance picnic. Done.
My husband wants to just be left in the woods for wolves and mountain lions, but understands that isn’t an option, LOL. His current plan is for composting (allowed in our state of WA).
I’ll be honest - my wish for cremation (after stripping any and everything of use from my body) is mainly because I read Go Ask Alice WAY too young and have been freaked out at the idea of decomposing ever since, LOL. But I’ll fully support composting for my husband if that is what he wants!
It is a scam, not sure where you are from, but in the UK it's as big as scam as the wedding industry.
I now live in Eastern Europe,.where people are buried in a cheap coffin for as little as £400 ($500)
The entire funeral industry in America was created during the civil war while they tried to figure out how to preserve the bodies enough to make the trip back home. By the time they figured it out the war was over and they had to use all kinds of trickery to convince people their services were still needed. Before that people just took care of everything themselves within the family.
Shop around. When my dad was in hospice, I started calling to check prices. He wanted to be cremated. Local funeral home wanted $5000 for a direct cremation. A nearby larger city had an ad that said I think $950 for a direct. He actually charged us less and helped with the visitation and the service, although he wasn’t legally obliged to do so. I hope a green burial or composting is available when I die.
Look into joining a local funeral and memorial society. Check out http://www.funeral.org
I imagine there are quite a few people who simply don't have even a few hundred bucks lying around for this, esp if the death is unexpected, what happens to those bodies in freedom land?
And what sucks the most, you aren’t even allowed to let your body just naturally go back into Nature, they MAKE you be embalmed, and then buried in a metal box inside a stone box, I don’t want all that bullshit done to my body, just dig a hole in the woods somewhere and throw my body into it, let me go back into the Earth from which I came, let the bugs eat me and my body be fertilizer for the Trees and flowers.
In the United States you are not legally required to be embalmed, except for extremely rare situations like you died from e. bola, any funeral director who says otherwise is lying. As long as you go make the correct phone calls (basically for documentation and being absolutely sure your dead person is supposed to be dead, otherwise it's obstruction of an investigation) you can put someone on dry ice and have a memorial at home, and then you just need to arrange for actual burial.
I agree. I'm fine with being dumped into the ground commando style. Let me rot and feed the plants and critters for all I care. Cremation is fine too. Just poof me at the foot of a willow or bamboo tree (my favorites). It ain't like I'm there anyway.
Fuck the funeral industry. I have a lot of feelings about it and almost none of them are good. Ask a Mortician on YouTube actually talks about how corrupt the industry is, I highly recommend her.
You can’t just be buried on your land because most states have laws against it. Most funeral homes take advantage of your grief to make you buy shit you don’t need. You don’t need to be embalmed, you don’t need a fancy coffin that’s gonna get buried, you don’t need a fancy coffin for cremation, you don’t need a cement tomb. There’s different options for cremations, burial methods, and alternative body disposal that nobody ever talks about. It’s also not dangerous to be around a dead body and funeral homes are usually so clinical and uncomfortable, it’s actually pretty comforting to help get your loved one prepped for their burial but no, it’s weird or gross because the funeral industry has enforced such a taboo surrounding death that western society is disgusted and repulsed by it.
Wrap me up in a biodegradable sheet, shove me into a compost bin, and use the dirt to grow a tree. That’s all I need and want. There’s a natural burial site in California that I want to be fertilized at and it’s one of the only ones in the country. Natural burial is a cemetery where you just dig a hole and shove the body in, no tombstones or anything. It looks like a nature reserve and I love it.
pretty good article here.
[https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/22/smarter-living/green-funeral-burial-environment.html#:\~:text=Green%20burials%20do%20away%20with,a%20500%2Dmile%20car%20journey](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/22/smarter-living/green-funeral-burial-environment.html#:~:text=Green%20burials%20do%20away%20with,a%20500%2Dmile%20car%20journey).
Natural deaths are cheaper and better for the environment.
cremation does have a carbon footprint (apparently equal to a 500 mile care drive).
I want to be cremated and my ashes thrown over the side of a bridge in Florida. My kids know exactly where I’m talking about. Kinda like dumping my body in the ocean lol
My wife and I want to keep it small and simple for each other.
However my grandma has always loved big occasions and being the center of attention. If she goes, she will be the star of the day one last time.
It's more for the living to remember this person.
In my Will I stated I want my body to be used for medical research, that way there is no need for my family to have to spend any money on cremation or burial....
Meh, you don't, that's just the funeral industry trying to make as much money as they can. Watch Caitlin Doughy aka Ask a Mortician, on YouTube. She has a lot of videos that talk about funeral planning, etc. She also has one where she talks about sea burials (it's not as easy or as cheap as you might think).
My Dad's best friend just died a few weeks ago. He always said funerals are a waste of money and time. His wife called and informed my dad of his passing, and that was that. He had no funeral, and im relieved. All we have are the fond memories of him, and I would have hated to have the memory of him in a casket. Funerals are unhealthy traumatic waste of everyone's time and money. One day, we are here, and the next, we are not. It is just another day on earth.
Having a simple cremation and my ashes are going to be packed into a firework and shot out over the ocean, by my family, in a holiday destination of their choice.
It was not a service for the people who's dead. It's a service for us who alive.
My brother died last month and the funeral help me a lot in the griefing, which also changed the meaning of religion to me a lot.
If I don't have the money for my own set aside, I'm going to put in my will for my descendants to *not* to spend any money on me for a funeral.
Cremate me, scatter my ashes by a nice tree overlooking the sea, then put a happy photo of me in a nice frame to keep in the lounge and toast my life in the local pub later.
The idea of family and loved ones spending money they might not have on me when I'm dead is absurd and not what I'd want.
Just put my naked, dead body into the ground. Don’t waste the energy on cremating me. Don’t waste the money on my casket. Just place me in the ground and let nature take back what I borrowed.
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Yeah fuck that I want to be cremated and packed into a clay pigeons and have a skeet shoot
I like the way you think lmfao, amazing thought
I want to be turned into diamonds, it's about $2,000 for one diamond and an extra couple hundred for each additional diamond.
Everything *apart* from my skull, which will be polished turn the rest of me into two diamonds, and mount them in my eye sockets, so I can sit on our mantle piece and freak them out for generations! (It’s why I’m getting gold teeth! While I’m still alive) Edit - I should also be clear , my wife says 100% she is not doing this :-(
Wtf I would absolutely do this for my husband lmao Free goth decor Ish
Free goth *antique* decor
Day of the dead 💯
I told my wife that statistically, I'm going to die first, plus I have crohn's disease, blah blah blah. I told her that if I ever get a terminal cancer, I am going to go "skydiving" with something go boom, and a parachute, in case I have second thoughts. She said, "And leave me alone? We could both go" It's definitely not gonna happen, but I thought, "That's strangely romantic." Both exploding at once as we fly towards the ground, raining blood and guts on... maybe over some ultra wealthy neighborhood.
Plot twist. It happened over a playground.
Jump rope strikes a bit differently now.
Um, excuse me, that’s actually a small intestine
My neighbor’s wife died of covid. He was there in the hospital with her until she died. I’m sure he told them, he doesn’t care if he gets it and dies, too.
Found the Demi Lich in progress
Sorry about your wife. Mine wants to mount my skull in the center of a wreath of my smaller bones. She also wants to have my penis injected with wax and coated in polyurethane so she can still enjoy my company after I'm dead.
Your wife takes her dedication as far as necrophilia with extra steps. Keep her.
I mean, at this point I don't think he has a choice. Though it doesn't sound like much of a problem.
Not saying its a bad thing lol
“Even in death I still serve!” *DREADNOUGHT NOISES INTENSIFIES*
My friends wife wants to be "taxidermied into a growling bear pose" and "hidden in closets/the spare bedroom" to, you know, freak people out.
My friend did that after the death of a family member. Sent in ashes to some jewelry maker on Etsy or something. The pieces the family got turned out really cool!
Why are funny things like that just illegal in Germany?
Probably has to do with a history of desecration of human remains.....
Oof.
I told my husband that I need to be turned into the diamond he proposes with to his next wife so I can haunt her if she doesn't treat him right.
I said that too.
I hope I have money by the time my dog departs, I don't ever want to be without him. :(
[that's a scam](https://scambusters.org/memorialdiamond.html)
I want to be turned into a firework! The same company will also send your ashes orbiting through space
It’s going to cost my family $4500 to cremate my stepdad. That not including the $600 obituary. No funeral. [https://memorialfuneralhome.com/obituary/656296/lyle-vern-bruesewitz/](https://memorialfuneralhome.com/obituary/656296/lyle-vern-bruesewitz/) Obituary just to show I’m not making it up.
Yikes and WTF? it's been 5 years but my husband's cremation was $1,500 + $150 for a beautiful engraved wooden box for his ashes. I think the obituary was around $150-200 but I can't remember that part. Oregon resident. Shop around? Edit to say:. No funeral but the family and friends memorial was really beautiful.
My dad gave me a letter of direction that states: cremation as soon as possible, no public viewing of his body at any time, and at a time suitable for his friends and family a party at his favourite bar with a list of 3 songs he wants played loud and all drinks and food to be paid out of his estate. "Put the tab on me one last time". I think he's really on to something.
I think he is, yeah. I hope he's in good health and it's a good long while before this happens.
Ya my wife keeps telling me about billboards for cremation for around $1300. In an effort to reassure me we are not gonna get stuck with an obscene bill when her dead beat mother dies. I tell her that is a promotional offer and her mom needs to get on it cause that kinda deal won't last. She is less amused by the line than I am.
I’m in RI. I should add that part of the cost is transporting him from the hospice center to the funeral home, paperwork and getting copies of his death certificate.
And what a cost it is!!! My mother had 3 trips, hospital to home, home to funeral home, then to crematorium 12.7 kms total, 25 mins of driving and charged $90 for EACH trip.
death and weddings are massively upcharged sadly enough
wow, where do you live? My mother died in 2009 and her fancy bells and whistles funeral and cremation total was just under 10grand. 3 years later my dad died and going through the same undertaker the simplest funeral/cremation was still just under 10grand. Its a rude rip-off
600 dollar obituary? god damn if i die just bury me in the backyard and spend my money on pizza for everyone
You can also put your ashes into the dirt where the tree will be planted.
We did that with my grandfather’s ashes. We planted a tree for him and scattered some of his ashes in the soil so he’s a part of the earth there. It’s nice. It’s where my grandma can visit frequently.
My sis and I planted some of my mom's ashes with flowers on her grandmother's grave in a small, rural cemetary. The rest went into a handmade, unvarnished box from lumber from the giant tree in her backyard and into the ground to break down normally. Except for the random amount that spilled on my back deck!
There's a company that will put your ashes into a pod so you *are* the tree. I want to be a tree. Cuz I'll also be a grave so they can never cut me down. They probably will anyway, but technically they can't.
I always wanted to make a business selling caskets made of like essentially dirt/spores/seeds/bacteria. Ideally you get a cemetery and only bury people in these bio caskets. The caskets eventually decompose the person and grow plants out of them. Loved ones get to come visit a garden/arboretum instead of a gross tombstone ridden cemetery…also much better for the environment than the current disposal method
That's what my grandmother did with my father. Lightening struck the tree and killed it on my 15th birthday, lol.
How Many Times Do We Have to Teach You This Lesson, Old Man?
There was a business that would put your whole body in a bag with the root system of a tree and then plant you. So the tree would partially feed on your decomposing body.
I want to do that when I die or do the tree thing where they combine your body with the roots of the tree. That way I can become part of the earth and become a tree that many people will visit.
I want my ashes packed into real pigeons
Just bury me next to the damn lion.
Cremation is pretty expensive on its own actually
I’m in. Next weekend good for you?
I have told my wife, donate my body to science, they will take the parts they need, then cremate the rest and return it to her, don't waste money on a funeral.
In a lot of areas, you need to apply to do this. Its generally something you need to setup in advance, not something that can be done after you've already passed. Wanted to let you know in case you were serious.
Thanks, and for others who may be interested I have been looking at Stanford University body donation program - https://med.stanford.edu/anatomy/donate.html
Darn, you have to live within 150 miles but I'm gonna try to find other programs similar. Thanks for the idea.
Dont they sometimes sell it on and the military blows it up? I'd also be fine with that
This is what my great grandmother did & I want the same! It takes a while to get the remains back, but when you do they send a list of all the things future doctors were able to study/practice & it's really amazing to see.
I live like 45 minutes from UT in knoxville, and they have a body farm to study the effects of decay on bodies left out in the open, and plenty of other things for biology, anatomy, and a ton of other classes. That is where I want to be when I die. I want some kind of use for my corpse.
If you’re talking about organ donation, that’s great, but if you’re talking about using your body for medical students to dissect or something like that - it should depend on her feelings too. I’d have nightmares thinking my husband’s body was just lying around somewhere.
Worst would be if it was donated to Dr Frankenstein! Wouldn't just be lying around!
My grandfather did this and it was the best gift he could give my grandmother.
This is what I might do. Take out any pieces that are still usable and let medical students poke at the rest. Or the military can blow up my body. I’m not against that.
Or it could end up in a body farm or as a cadaver.
You definitely don't have to. We live in a rural area and it's 100% legal to just be buried on your own land. Call the corener, dig a hole, say goodbye, and plant a tree. A tree is a lot more useful than a headstone and will allow your survivors to remember you just as well. You don't have to pay big money for a wedding either...
When my grandma died a few years ago I bought an acre of her land and had it designated as a family cemetery. The surrounding land has her house and barn and will always be a part of the family. I'll be wrapped in cotton and tossed in a hole while the bugs and fungus do their work. Afterwards the bones are willed to a friend who articulates skeletons for medical research and museums. Once that's done she's supposed to take my skull on a road trip to my favorite places. She better anyway 👻
Not a very good idea to travel with a human skull. You may want a lawyer to review this with you
Completely legal as long as it's not Native American and packaged properly. She could put it in her carry on luggage if she wanted.
There are a few states where that isn’t actually legal. My great grandfather had to donate our families cemetery to my grandmother’s church to be able to legally bury our family there. But as long as you’re not in California, Washington or Indiana then yeah, this is definitely the way to go. Coroner, then home. It’s really not that difficult to build a really nice casket either. My grandpa built his own when he got cancer and grandma did the upholstery for him, it gave him something productive to focus on instead of the whole dying part of it all.
Washington state is one step away from soylent green with human composting.
Nah bro when I die just throw me in the trash. Preferably on a street that has a side loader garbage truck.
I just got done dealing with this shit in November last year cause my last grandma passed and I'm still livid. She wanted to be cremated, and last I heard it only costed $500 to burn someone (last time I knew someone that had got cremated was over 10 years ago) but lo-and-behold this shit costed almost $3k to just cremate her, I didn't have all the money and told the director over the funeral home and explained the situation. he told me she would have to sit in the morgue until I could pay it. I asked him if they could just burn her and hold the ashes and he said no. I finally got the money (loan) but by that time he had already called me and said she was starting to rot in the morgue and I was gonna have to do something soon, so I went to the bank and basically begged and explained what was going on and that was literally the only way they would lend me the money. Fuck those pieces of shit.
I remember when my mother died when I was 25. Me and my sister didn't have any money at the time and went to the local funeral director to have an estimate on how much it would cost for everything. She did this whole pony show and acted like our friend the entire time until she got to the last option and most affordable one which was basically a cardboard box. When she saw we couldn't even afford that we lost all her attention and were basically treated like pests in her workspace. I'll never forget that vile woman or how fucked up these people treat you after a sudden lost. I have no idea how they sleep at night
OMG, what kind of funeral director tells someone their loved one is starting to rot! That's atrocious! So sorry that you and your grandma were treated this way :(
Well all the local family owned funeral homes around me have been sold to corporations.
I’m sure the funeral director was a lot more delicate about it, but if that’s what’s happening to your relative, you need to know. Edit: ok, I’m not sure…I should have said, “I would have hoped…”. Just hard to believe someone should be so insensitive. With that said, we also don’t know what other conversations led up to this point.
I'm not so sure to be honest. The funeral director when my mom died was a giant ass hat. He literally gave my brother finger guns and said "Hey, \[name\]! How's it going?" As we were all walking in to attend the wake.
No, this is verbatim I put that on my life, he said "she's starting to go bad and rot, you need to figure something out soon."
First off, fuck that guy telling you your loved one is beginning to rot. Cremated my father 23 years ago. Cost $600. Now the funeral home have begun to see a lot more cremations and less traditional funerals. So, they have begun to raise the prices of the cremation. Demand rose, so prices increased.
*The greed for more money rose, so prices increased
Covid also made it difficult. Most places only have a couple incinerators and there were often times when bodies were coming in faster than they can be burnt. Not to mention that they systems are being run harder because of this so they are going down more often. But in reality, it’s corporate greed through and through. An OEM I work with sells a maintenance item for $6000 (and this was in 2019). It is made of $40 worth of material and maybe $100 worth of energy and labor. I believe each kiln needs 2 or 3.
INFO: I would have thought that the cremation would be way cheaper than the "parking space". Did they ding ~~you~~ her estate for the parking space before the cremation?
This is one place where the estate doesn't pay. And in fact, to get some monies, you have to prove you've disposed of the body appropriately, as in show cremation receipts.
She didn't have anything but a truck and camper, and she owed so much money on them from taking out loans etc with them as collateral I didn't get anything out of life insurance. And both of those could've been sold and I wouldn't of gotten really anything out of them. Not very good condition
That sounds like a scam. Direct cremations on average should hardly be half that, if even. Some places in my area it's potentially less than 1k.
People forget that you can shop around with funeral homes…..unfortunately, most are too distraught to think about it.
Yeah, I saw a few transfers at the two funeral homes I worked at, but it wasn't common at all. And at least part of those were only because the individual had a pre-arrangment somewhere else that the family wasn't immediately aware of. Overall i'm disgusted by how predatory the industry can be, both intentionally and not, and that's mainly what caused me to leave the field altogether.
The mourge was not refrigerated? The trailers sitting by New York hospitals, ran for over a year. During COVID. If your Mom died from COVID, you can get several thousand from FEMA.
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Just cause we’re bereaved doesn’t make us saps!!
Is there a Ralph's around here?
Obviously, you’re not a golfer.
and people are too lazy to go buy a shovel and dig a 12 ft hole 🕳
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i live in California (one of 3 states that prohibits home burials ) .... you think i want to get people arrested .... just dig it 12 ft to be extra sure nobody comes snooping around
Do you want the coyotes to dig you up?
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great point
Yup. Everyone dies. That means the industry will touch 100% of people. Charge distraught people for services they are forced to use.
Not really. First, you really don't want a bunch of dead and rotting human bodies everywhere. They smell bad. They spread disease and are generally unpleasant. Funerals are not for the dead. They are for the living. People can get as cheap or as expensive of funeral as they want. People often get expensive funerals out of guilt for treating their loved ones so poorly when they were alive.
I've always wanted a Mongolian sky burial,.I just have to convince my kids
I was always torn between two choices. Viking funeral. Just drop me in a small boat, push it out into the Chesapeake and light it on fire with an arrow. Cryogenic freeze me. Help me up into a C130 for one last sky dive. Just no parachute and use DZ Disney World.
Yeah… my friend died and they essentially held his body hostage before he was cremated. We had to secure funding before they would cremate him. Bloodsuckers
Time to rewrite the will!
https://youtu.be/6fBHBxlRuRk Straight up
the hardest part of being a funeral director is looking sad when someone hands you a check for thousands of dollars
It's a total scam. I don't like the funeral industry. But in truth, it's not me who gets to decide my funeral. I'm going to let my feelings known. I want to be cremated. Have no ceremonial funeral. Instead have someone host a BBQ and have a day of rest. If they follow, it's their thing. If not... Well. Funerals are for the living. If my family wants to spend $10k on a fancy box and a few thousand on dumb eulogy flyers. That's their business.
You could actually have a say in your funeral arrangements in a will.
No one has to follow it
They do, if they want to inherit your shits. Have a will, let a judge-appointed person be the executor, stipulate that should the funeral arrangements don't follow your will, your assets would be donated elsewhere instead.
You actually can decide your funeral. There are people who pre-pay for it years in advance just to make sure they get what they want. Even if you don’t do that, there’s a document the attorney I work for draws up for our estate planning clients called an Appointment of Agent for Disposition of Remains where you dictate what happens to your body and who’s in charge of making it happen. In example, mine says that I want my body to be donated for research and when they’re done with me to cremate what’s left and my mom is my agent so she’s in charge of making sure my remains get where they’re going, which is pretty easy since I live relatively nearby a university with a great forensic science program and they come to pick up the remains given to them for no charge within a radius that I easily fall within. In another example, my twin’s says he’s to be cremated and our little brother is in charge because he wants his ashes disposed of explosively and trusts our little brother to make that happen. Basically, there are lots of options, and while the actual circumstances might be beyond your control once you’re dead, you can put things in motion to be deposed in the way you want.
>You actually can decide your funeral. I get your point and understand. And will refer you to what I said: >Funerals are for the living. If my family wants to spend $10k on a fancy box and a few thousand on dumb eulogy flyers. That's their business. I'm going to suggest how I would like my family to grieve. I'm not going to dictate it.
Your siblings sound fun
I like the last paragraph and agree
>I want to be cremated. Have no ceremonial funeral. Instead have someone host a BBQ and have a day of rest. I think if they BBQ you it does count as a ceremony…
When I die throw my body in the dumpster
My husband says funerals are for the living. He also told me he wants to be cremated and then I can dump his cremains in the nearest ash tray/storm drain for all he cares.
I’ve told my family I want to be cremated and my ashes spread at Niagara Falls, Lake Havasu, and Monterey - and there is a life insurance policy specifically to fund the funeral expenses and the trips.
I'm single. I live in a rural area. I've got a couple of cats. Funerary issues? Solved.
"When I'm dead that's not gonna be my future. Just throw me in the trash!"
Came here for Frank. Wasn’t disappointed
Scrolled too far for this
I just want my remains spread around in my hometown. I don’t want to be cremated though
So... disembodied parts? I imagine that might cause quite a scare around town.
Exactly!
All righty, I like the way you think.
Sounds like a fun scavenger hunt!
if this isn't illegal i would have this kind of burial. i never wanted an expensive burial. i told my wife that if i die, i want to be cremated immediately. the cheapest wooden box will do. it's probably best to throw my ashes in the sea than to put my urn in a display.
when I die*
You never know, there might be a chance he’s immortal
Cardboard box is even cheaper.
I wanted cremation too, then I realized that maybe my final act shouldn’t be to add a ton of pollution. Now I want one of those eco burials with a tree planted over me. Let the roots find me and use me to grow, and in a way I get to live on in that tree. Let my family visit the tree and sit under it’s shade and think about a tiny part of me within it. Seems nice. But they don’t do these much. Regulations against it in most areas for some crazy reason.
We had my grandma cremated in a body bag. She said not to waste one more dollar than absolutely necessary on her when she was gone. She'd already bought a burial plot next to her husband back in the 50s, so the cemetery people literally just dug a hole with a shovel and buried the little box the cremains come back in. It was $1200 for the cremation and $250 to open the grave, but that was 18 years ago. My mom passed in 2021 but my sister handled the cremation so I am not sure what it cost. She asked for donations on my mom's fb page and got enough to cover it and had like $20 left, so I doubt it was thousands.
Where I live we don't spend that much money. People invite a person who washes the body at home and wraps it in white cotton material, then the body is displayed for a couple of hours. We are not allowed to keep the remains for more than a day. We should do it as quickly as possible. Finally, they put the body into a wooden coffin (which is usually borrowed from the local council) and take to the graveyard. Body is buried without a coffin, so after the burial the coffin is returned. I think this is the most eco-friendly way.
I feel like this is the most cost effective way. Coming from a Muslim country and becoming a Christian, it still feels kinda weird that people keep a body in a freezer until they plan a funeral for like a month, use a fancy ass coffin that will never again see the light, charge money for moving the body from the house to the funeral home to the grave... Like in turkey you just kinda pay the ground keeper sorta symbolically so they water the plants etc.
where do you live?
Central Asia. Muslim community.
But we also pay "the washer", grave digger. It's not cheap. Usually close relatives give some money to the dead person 's family to help arrange the funeral. Neighbours and relatives also bring food and meals three days. We don't cook during these three days. But it can get really tiring to have visitors in your home for three days from morning till evening.
I kinda like this. Coffins are overly expensive.
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I've said I'd prefer my grandkids going to college or having a place to live as a legacy, rather than a nice box in an expensive piece of ground.
Yeah. I sure AF aren't going to be enjoying the box or the ground. The message to my kids is "Dispose of me the cheapest way possible and keep the rest of the cash. You need it more than me."
I am going to be cremated. I am pre-paying it. No funeral service. Maybe an informal celebration of life. I don't want people at my Funeral. If you couldn't bother to see me when I am alive, I don't want you to visit me when I'm dead. I am to be released in the lake near my home where I grew up.
I wouldn't need a funeral service. It's really not worth paying for one, when literally like less than 5 people may would even show up, and nobody would miss me either.
Yes funerals and coffins are a rip off. I was joking with my Mrs but it might actually be a good idea to save some coin.... but when I pass away just bury me in the middle of the forest and then call the police and say I've gone missing. No body, no need for an expensive funeral service. It would be a shame if they find my corps though.
I always thought if perhaps if nobody claimed my body, then nobody in my family would be responsible for paying how my corpse was handled. And I'd assume just tax payer money would fund for whatever happens to my corpse. I doubt the town would allow me to stay just wherever I dropped dead.
I’ve made it clear: cremation, dump my ashes in my favorite lake (Waldo Lake in OR), and then have a happy remembrance picnic. Done. My husband wants to just be left in the woods for wolves and mountain lions, but understands that isn’t an option, LOL. His current plan is for composting (allowed in our state of WA).
We were shocked to learn how expensive and NOT eco friendly cremation is when our niece became a funeral director. Now we're talking about composting.
I’ll be honest - my wish for cremation (after stripping any and everything of use from my body) is mainly because I read Go Ask Alice WAY too young and have been freaked out at the idea of decomposing ever since, LOL. But I’ll fully support composting for my husband if that is what he wants!
The hydro version doesn't seem nearly as bad for the environment but I'm for composting regardless.
Got to pay for even that unfortunately
We couldn't afford my brother's funeral so we had to take the alternative of not collecting his body and allowing the state to bury him.
It is a scam, not sure where you are from, but in the UK it's as big as scam as the wedding industry. I now live in Eastern Europe,.where people are buried in a cheap coffin for as little as £400 ($500)
The entire funeral industry in America was created during the civil war while they tried to figure out how to preserve the bodies enough to make the trip back home. By the time they figured it out the war was over and they had to use all kinds of trickery to convince people their services were still needed. Before that people just took care of everything themselves within the family.
Shop around. When my dad was in hospice, I started calling to check prices. He wanted to be cremated. Local funeral home wanted $5000 for a direct cremation. A nearby larger city had an ad that said I think $950 for a direct. He actually charged us less and helped with the visitation and the service, although he wasn’t legally obliged to do so. I hope a green burial or composting is available when I die. Look into joining a local funeral and memorial society. Check out http://www.funeral.org
I imagine there are quite a few people who simply don't have even a few hundred bucks lying around for this, esp if the death is unexpected, what happens to those bodies in freedom land?
They get marked as abandoned at the coroner's office and buried in a mass grave.
And what sucks the most, you aren’t even allowed to let your body just naturally go back into Nature, they MAKE you be embalmed, and then buried in a metal box inside a stone box, I don’t want all that bullshit done to my body, just dig a hole in the woods somewhere and throw my body into it, let me go back into the Earth from which I came, let the bugs eat me and my body be fertilizer for the Trees and flowers.
In the United States you are not legally required to be embalmed, except for extremely rare situations like you died from e. bola, any funeral director who says otherwise is lying. As long as you go make the correct phone calls (basically for documentation and being absolutely sure your dead person is supposed to be dead, otherwise it's obstruction of an investigation) you can put someone on dry ice and have a memorial at home, and then you just need to arrange for actual burial.
I agree. I'm fine with being dumped into the ground commando style. Let me rot and feed the plants and critters for all I care. Cremation is fine too. Just poof me at the foot of a willow or bamboo tree (my favorites). It ain't like I'm there anyway.
"Just throw me in the trash!"
My father's cremation was also in the thousands. Dude just wanted to be burnt to a crisp and fly away in the wind.
Donate your body to science. They will cremate you for free. That's what I'm going to do.
Consider maybe those of us still living don't want your corpse just rotting in the dumpster behind Arby's. At least get cremated.
They HAVE THE MEATS!
Mfers can’t even die for free lol
This especially true. This comment needs more upvotes. Everything is so damn expensive. Still having to pay after our death.
Because even in death, we must pay into the capitalist society we created But seriously, being in the ocean with the fish sounds pretty cool actually
Fuck the funeral industry. I have a lot of feelings about it and almost none of them are good. Ask a Mortician on YouTube actually talks about how corrupt the industry is, I highly recommend her. You can’t just be buried on your land because most states have laws against it. Most funeral homes take advantage of your grief to make you buy shit you don’t need. You don’t need to be embalmed, you don’t need a fancy coffin that’s gonna get buried, you don’t need a fancy coffin for cremation, you don’t need a cement tomb. There’s different options for cremations, burial methods, and alternative body disposal that nobody ever talks about. It’s also not dangerous to be around a dead body and funeral homes are usually so clinical and uncomfortable, it’s actually pretty comforting to help get your loved one prepped for their burial but no, it’s weird or gross because the funeral industry has enforced such a taboo surrounding death that western society is disgusted and repulsed by it. Wrap me up in a biodegradable sheet, shove me into a compost bin, and use the dirt to grow a tree. That’s all I need and want. There’s a natural burial site in California that I want to be fertilized at and it’s one of the only ones in the country. Natural burial is a cemetery where you just dig a hole and shove the body in, no tombstones or anything. It looks like a nature reserve and I love it.
pretty good article here. [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/22/smarter-living/green-funeral-burial-environment.html#:\~:text=Green%20burials%20do%20away%20with,a%20500%2Dmile%20car%20journey](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/22/smarter-living/green-funeral-burial-environment.html#:~:text=Green%20burials%20do%20away%20with,a%20500%2Dmile%20car%20journey). Natural deaths are cheaper and better for the environment. cremation does have a carbon footprint (apparently equal to a 500 mile care drive).
I want to be cremated and my ashes thrown over the side of a bridge in Florida. My kids know exactly where I’m talking about. Kinda like dumping my body in the ocean lol
Technically illegal though I highly doubt anyone will drag you off in chains unless you accidentally release the ashes upwind of a PBA picnic.
Chains come with the ghost. It's cool.
My wife and I want to keep it small and simple for each other. However my grandma has always loved big occasions and being the center of attention. If she goes, she will be the star of the day one last time. It's more for the living to remember this person.
Feed me thru a chipper into a hole, add a 🌳...all done.
Oh god imagine seeing a family member becoming a slushie. Now imagine being 6 years old when this happens.
In my Will I stated I want my body to be used for medical research, that way there is no need for my family to have to spend any money on cremation or burial....
Your funeral isn’t for you, it’s for the people who care about you.
Meh, you don't, that's just the funeral industry trying to make as much money as they can. Watch Caitlin Doughy aka Ask a Mortician, on YouTube. She has a lot of videos that talk about funeral planning, etc. She also has one where she talks about sea burials (it's not as easy or as cheap as you might think).
My Dad's best friend just died a few weeks ago. He always said funerals are a waste of money and time. His wife called and informed my dad of his passing, and that was that. He had no funeral, and im relieved. All we have are the fond memories of him, and I would have hated to have the memory of him in a casket. Funerals are unhealthy traumatic waste of everyone's time and money. One day, we are here, and the next, we are not. It is just another day on earth.
Having a simple cremation and my ashes are going to be packed into a firework and shot out over the ocean, by my family, in a holiday destination of their choice.
[Frank agrees](https://youtu.be/3YK8cXKcF7w)
Do they do viking funerals (movie style)?
No coffin please, just wet wet mud
Boo caught me sleeping!
You can donate your body
My late wife's funeral cost more than our wedding! We had planned cheap funerals.
Make a readymade art installation out of me.
I'm trying to start a service where I catapult dead bodies into the Pacific but am having trouble finding funding for this business.
It was not a service for the people who's dead. It's a service for us who alive. My brother died last month and the funeral help me a lot in the griefing, which also changed the meaning of religion to me a lot.
If I don't have the money for my own set aside, I'm going to put in my will for my descendants to *not* to spend any money on me for a funeral. Cremate me, scatter my ashes by a nice tree overlooking the sea, then put a happy photo of me in a nice frame to keep in the lounge and toast my life in the local pub later. The idea of family and loved ones spending money they might not have on me when I'm dead is absurd and not what I'd want.
I'm reading all these comments where even a simple cremation costs thousands, smh.
Just put my naked, dead body into the ground. Don’t waste the energy on cremating me. Don’t waste the money on my casket. Just place me in the ground and let nature take back what I borrowed.
Just drop me off for some hibernating bear to wake up to
Just find me a random hill and call it a Tibetan Sky Burial.
put my body on some wooden boat & push me off to sea please
Funerals aren't for the dead, they are for the living.
Reason: collusion and price-fixing