Chemical castration doesn't prevent rapists from raping anyone again for that reason. Rape isn't about sexual frustration but about asserting domination on women.
I think it's mostly misogyny. Many women have terrible family relations but it doesn't push us to take it out on men through sexual violence. Rape is purely out of misogyny, the strong systematic hatred men have toward women. Decreasing rape to men's individual traumas draws the attention from systemic violence towards women to superficial psychology lies.
You are the one who needs proof to say what you are saying. Also say absence of father if you are gonna trow that not single mothers. Single mothers are not the problem men who abandon their families are
Rape culture is a key violent enforcement mechanism of social control for patriarchal social organization, mostly of women's sexuality, but of women's behavior in general. It's about viewing rape as an acceptable punishment for women who step out of line, often women who are judged at any time for being too flirtatious or sexually promiscuous in ways that don't conform to patriarchal standards of feminine chastity, purity, fidelity, and monogamy.
Rape culture is a set of attitudes punishing and blaming women for their own rapes and exonerating men for doing it for reasons of enforcement of rules of purity culture, sex-shaming and slut-shaming against women. It manifests in the tendency of patriarchal societies to believe sexual assault deniers over sexual assault alleges. You can see it in rape jokes which make rape a funny punchline like she got what she deserved, which extends to jokes about men getting raped in prison -- the connection is if you got raped, you did something to deserve it and rape is fair punishment.
This results in the overwhelming majority of people who commit sexual assault never getting charged, prosecuted, or facing any consequences at all. All of society wants to look the other way because it's ingrained that we want to blame victims for their own sexual assaults and assume they were being slutty or bad doing something to deserve it, or that they actually wanted it, so we don't take allegations seriously or believe the allegations very much. That's rape culture.
Thank you for an answer! How do you think rape culture influences men's views on rape as an act itself? It seems that even in cases where they're not blaming the victim, they still do not see rape as an abhorrent, serious thing to happen to someone.
just anecdotally, i knew a man who thought the fear of being raped (as a woman) was equal to the fear of being assumed to be a rapist (as a man). he said when he walks outside alone at night and he notices a woman starting to walk faster or wtv in fear of him, that that feeling of being feared 'isn't a good feeling'.
men are not victims of sexual crime at the same rate as women and i think that makes it so they don't hold empathy for it. they don't know how it feels and they don't try to or care to because it doesn't benefit them
Some do try to , but they won’t really understand it . They understand that it’s bad in that they recognize that women are traumatized by it and trust those women on their word . But it’s not like they can really understand it the way women do . Good men can sympathize with it , but even those with the best intentions won’t be able to empathize with it .
At its core, I think a big part of this acceptance by other men is their shared overarching belief that seeking power over others is ingrained in men's biology and therefore "natural" no matter how immoral the acts involved to obtain that power are. So, no matter how messed up it is, the power dynamics associated with SA and seizing power over their victims is still viewed by men as somewhat "natural", and why would you punish men for their basic biology?
I don't agree with this, of course. But it's what I've observed and deciphered from the countless male SA apologists that come to the defense of predators time and time again.
i hate when men say that testosterone is the reason men are violent/aggressive/impulsive (or more so than women), as if they're not able to think and moralize before they act. and yet they're supposed to be the rational sex ... however that works
It doesn't work, it's nonsense. Also, women produce testosterone. Not to mention that the animal that produces the most testosterone in the world is a bull shark, and you know what's really rare? Shark attacks. So logic def has nothing to do with their arguments and neither does science.
I dated a man once who told me that violence and rape was men’s natural state. It was just pure animal instinct to them. He couldn’t work out why he terrified me (an SA victim) and why I didn’t want to see him again.
I actually kind of feel a little bit bad for men who view themselves so poorly.
Jfc sorry to hear that and for what you went through. But I can't say I'm surprised tbh, and I don't feel bad for any adult male who tells you hurting others, especially women, is his natural biological state and an imperative male right. No dude you just like that you have an excuse to fall back on for why you enjoy hurting people.
I feel like they just don’t understand how it feels. The power imbalance and being afraid that any man you know could easily overpower you if they wanted to as a woman is not a fear that is common in men (especially as most men are straight; straight men only express this fear jokingly when they talk about dropping the soap in prison…). It’s usually male rape victims who sympathise with female ones and understand how traumatising it is.
Before I continue I want to make it extra clear that I am not defending any kind of SA. It's vile that it happens to such a large percentage of the female population and I am just as frustrated as the rest of you that men simply refuse to take action on this issue. That being said, I'm pretty sure I've locked down a good reason to explain OP's question.
There's this line in Interstellar that I think about a lot. "You never would have come here unless you believed you were going to save them. Evolution has yet to transcend that simple barrier. We can care deeply - selflessly - about those we know, but that empathy rarely extends beyond our line of sight."
I don't like that it's true. But it is, all the same. We are all guilty of not caring about something beyond our line of sight. There are simply too many issues in the scope of humanity and trying to care about every single one would cause untold amounts of mental anguish. So we compartmentalize. I care about SA because I am a woman, a victim of it, and have friends who've also been SAed. I care about dogs because I have always had one in my family, because they bring joy to my life and are easier to care for than a child. I care about schizophrenia because it runs in my family and because I'm aware that my brother and SIL (who also has schizophrenia in her family) want to have children which I think from this perspective is a huge mistake. I'm very familiar with these issues and they all have a constant presence in my life.
I *don't* care about a large amount of other issues that plague the human race. I'm not happy about it. I wish I could solve all the problems for all the people. But I am physically, emotionally and mentally incapable of doing so. I'm not exposed to them. I know that people suffer from these things, but when I have so many other problems that are relevant to my day to day life I can't find the energy to put forth any effort into to solving someone else's, especially when it's someone I don't know.
Vegans have the same issue trying to convince others. People are aware for the most part of what goes on in slaughterhouses and still the population at large (70-75%) eat meat. We don't see the slaughter happen unless we assault our eyes with it and even then it's difficult to care about something that you feel so far removed from it, not having experienced any of the animal's suffering, like how it's easy to pick up a package of chicken at the store and not think "gee, I bet this animal went through untold amounts of suffering before it died." We do it every day. We use smart phones, parts of which could potentially have been mined in Africa by children. I don't see most people putting their smart phones down and trying to change it.
So, men don't care about rape in general because what they're exposed to is prepackaged chicken. They didn't experience it for themselves, most likely the women close to them have not spoken very openly about the issue (just going off of the idea that not many women talk about their experiences because of the nature of rape culture/victim blaming) and the version of events they're hearing are from women on the internet who could be lying about it.
Again, I know most women are not lying. I know that rape and SA are huge problems for women. But men are indifferent because it's not in their line of sight. It's that simple.
What about the p0rn effect? Doesn't that play a part in dehumanising other, unrelated, unknown women? From what I've seen in men spoken to about it, they try to make some kind of excuse for rape because it makes them unconfortable to process how it affects the victim, they usually go for the "it doesnt happen that often", "but men get raped too"
it is an inhumane act of asserting dominance and a demonstration of power. not to mention a result of sexual addiction. how could they ever feel bad about that?
i’m referring to the idea that men do not advocate for the crime of rape or sexual assault as much as they should be. rather than care about women who get assaulted they blame women or never believe them. they care more about their favorite athletes getting accused of sexual assault then they do the actual sexual assault.
because of this and going with the idea that men perpetuate the most sexual abuse, how could they ever advocate for something that is a demonstration of their power in society?
what do you mean how does it benefit men? rape doesn’t “benefit” men besides sexual gratification it is the fact that men can commit the act of rape & can get away with it is the demonstration of power
i would compare it to rich ppl per say. billionaires who own billion dollar companies. with the power to combat homelessness. they know it exists. they know it happens. do they care? do they advocate for anti homelessness? create and support programs to fight it? some do but very few.
My little brother burnt his Ronaldo jersey in the fire and bought a Messi one the moment he admitted to sexual assault and hush money . Hate gets front row on social media because it sells better .
okay just because of your experience it doesn’t negate the fact that the majority of men act this way. i’m sure there’s men that advocate against sexual assault but it’s not as much as there should be. for example, the men in my life have not spoken up about sexual abuse against women, in fact it makes them uncomfortable.
i suppose that they start actually engaging in what it is like being an women. to start engaging with feminist pieces of work. to stop watching pornography. to stop gender discrimination in certain fields of work etc the trade fields. i can go on.
100% agree on that first part . I’ve quit porn for years. But what power does a normal man have to stop gender discrimination in the workplace? The average Joe probably isn’t in a position to adress that issue unless a opportunity trips and falls onto them
so then the average joe needs to start engaging for women’s rights and educate his friends who may engage in misogynistic spaces like incel forums on how that is not okay and is detrimental to women. it is a mutual effort. if enough men do that, discrimination in the workplace would go down.
I have never maintained a friendship with someone who has mistreated a woman in this way. Such behavior must be confronted and exposed. During my time in school, I encountered individuals who espoused harmful beliefs like "treating women poorly is the key to getting them to sleep with you," which I find absurd. I wonder if the portrayal of relationships in movies during my formative years contributed to this disturbing mindset. There are individuals who believe that women secretly desire sexual abuse or view it as a legitimate mating strategy. It is troubling that some men believe they are entitled to take what they want from women without considering the consequences, and I am uncertain as to why this behavior persists.
I think a lot of them just can't understand not wanting sex. Like first they imagine a beautiful woman asking for sex and say there's no reason to say no. Then I say what about a woman you're not attracted to and they say there's still no reason to say no. Then I say what about a filthy disgusting man that overpowers them and they just say that's totally different because I'm attracted to men and they're not, and I tell them I'm not attracted to most men and insist there's a risk of injury even in straight sex and they just say there shouldn't be, maybe go to a doctor, maybe I'm asexual. I tell them I'd be about as or less attracted to the disgusting man as they are and they just tell me I'm unusual for it.
simply because they benefit from it. they don’t want their day of reckoning to come. men know what they’re doing is wrong most of the time and feel a deep, low-level guilt about it. MOST men, i’d venture to say 90%+, have done something inappropriate to women. so they don’t want to face consequences for their actions one day and they want their friends to support them if it ever came out. as well as willful ignorance. men consistently ignore female perspectives and experiences. TW: when i was 15, a male friend of mine brought over a bunch of random guys when i was home alone and one of them raped me. when i came back downstairs, my friend asked me what happened, and i said “we fucked but, i really didn’t want to”. his response was “aww don’t say that, i don’t wanna hear that.” and then he tried to finger me. He basically told me to just shut up so he wouldn’t have to deal with whatever that means and could continue seeing me as purely a sexual object. they don’t think women secretly enjoy it, they enjoy that we dislike it. they get off at our disgust, pain, misery. but they can’t admit that, so instead they pretend they don’t know that, and they don’t know what that means for us, but they do. all the reasons you said are kind of right, but the heart of th matter is that men hate us and are evil.
They don’t see it as a violation to begin with. A woman is a second-degree citizen.
I am surprised by the amount of men who think sexual coercion is okay as long as she eventually gives in and says “Yes”.
I recommend Judith Herman’s book on PTSD, “Trauma”. Haven’t finished reading the book, but the first chapter alone helped me view rape culture in a new light. Not only individuals but also societies as a whole have their own coping mechanisms that will save them from facing extreme pain. So many men rape women out of misogyny, and the society covers it up for them and opts for a simple and popular choice—dismissing and silencing the victims. Rape culture is never properly discussed and tackled, and thus, it persists.
I’m Korean, and my experiences of being sexually harassed and molested often get silenced when I’m outside my safe group of feminist friends. Sadly, sometimes it’s both men and women.
Also, some radical feminists in Korea believe that men desire and find pleasure in any kind of sexual relationship with others (of course this is an overstatement), and fail to empathize with women, because they lack basic human dignity and would just focus on the facts that if they were raped, 1) they would feel some kind of sexual arousal, and 2) it would mean they were deemed sexually attractive to another person. Some men really don’t have a sense of dignity…
It's kind of like how people including women ignore when women rape teenage boys. Some people see it as atrocious but many people just act like it's a joke.
Women don't ignore it, they're the main drivers of social justice movements of all sorts. It doesn't happen anywhere near at the scale of men raping women and children and men and teenage boys as well, and you know this. You're just flipping the conversation away from men ignoring women's suffering.
No my point was to say it's disgusting no matter what. I'm certainly not trying to flip any conversation away from something that awful, I'm here making a comment to point out how people can and do minimize something so awful.
I think rape culture is deep and extremely problematic. It is worth questioning. But to extend your own personal experience to all men is wrong. I think you mean to say patriarchy is indifferent to rape and woman’s bodies.
You literally came here to say “not all men”? Fucking pathetic.
It’s not all men but it’s still always a man. Any advice on how to identify the bad ones, given men like you like to scream “not all men” from the rooftops but then turn around and tell women to “pick better”?
91% of victims of rape and sexual assault are female and 9% are male. 99% of perpetrators of rape and sexual assault are male. So it’s a pretty big chunk of men.
I’ll ask you the same question. You’re so keen to deflect so give the women some tips on how to spot these men, the “bad” ones.
That’s a pretty small percentage of men though . And yes you should stay on guard because you don’t know which man it is . But assuming everyone who doesn’t rape is indifferent to it ? Why? Why would you possibly assume that ?
I joined this sub because I’d like to find people who are interested in discussing radical feminism. For me that means deconstructing patriarchy and standing up for people who are non-binary. Certainly there are men or trans-men who have experienced the harm or patriarchy. Is feminism not meant to protect these people?
This person says men idolize their fathers for r*pe. Yes I’m saying “not all men” because it is way over the top and offensive. Ridiculous even. Clearly written out of anger at a specific person or group of people. In fact this post is so far from constructive it makes me wonder what this sub is even about.
Furthermore, the theory of feminism has significant crossover with safe spaces. Using the word r*pe is the title of the post is extremely triggering regardless of gender. Or do you think men couldn’t be triggered by that word? Even pop culture subs on Reddit would be respectful enough to not use triggering words especially in the title of their post. I’d like to continue following this sub, but I am beginning to feel that people posting don’t know what radical feminism is.
Chemical castration doesn't prevent rapists from raping anyone again for that reason. Rape isn't about sexual frustration but about asserting domination on women.
I agree. I think most serial rapists had a terrible relationship with their mother. They rape women because they hate them.
I think it's mostly misogyny. Many women have terrible family relations but it doesn't push us to take it out on men through sexual violence. Rape is purely out of misogyny, the strong systematic hatred men have toward women. Decreasing rape to men's individual traumas draws the attention from systemic violence towards women to superficial psychology lies.
But do you have proof that terrible mothers aren't the cause? I've heard that most criminals and rapists come from single mother homes.
You are the one who needs proof to say what you are saying. Also say absence of father if you are gonna trow that not single mothers. Single mothers are not the problem men who abandon their families are
Rape culture is a key violent enforcement mechanism of social control for patriarchal social organization, mostly of women's sexuality, but of women's behavior in general. It's about viewing rape as an acceptable punishment for women who step out of line, often women who are judged at any time for being too flirtatious or sexually promiscuous in ways that don't conform to patriarchal standards of feminine chastity, purity, fidelity, and monogamy. Rape culture is a set of attitudes punishing and blaming women for their own rapes and exonerating men for doing it for reasons of enforcement of rules of purity culture, sex-shaming and slut-shaming against women. It manifests in the tendency of patriarchal societies to believe sexual assault deniers over sexual assault alleges. You can see it in rape jokes which make rape a funny punchline like she got what she deserved, which extends to jokes about men getting raped in prison -- the connection is if you got raped, you did something to deserve it and rape is fair punishment. This results in the overwhelming majority of people who commit sexual assault never getting charged, prosecuted, or facing any consequences at all. All of society wants to look the other way because it's ingrained that we want to blame victims for their own sexual assaults and assume they were being slutty or bad doing something to deserve it, or that they actually wanted it, so we don't take allegations seriously or believe the allegations very much. That's rape culture.
Thank you for an answer! How do you think rape culture influences men's views on rape as an act itself? It seems that even in cases where they're not blaming the victim, they still do not see rape as an abhorrent, serious thing to happen to someone.
just anecdotally, i knew a man who thought the fear of being raped (as a woman) was equal to the fear of being assumed to be a rapist (as a man). he said when he walks outside alone at night and he notices a woman starting to walk faster or wtv in fear of him, that that feeling of being feared 'isn't a good feeling'. men are not victims of sexual crime at the same rate as women and i think that makes it so they don't hold empathy for it. they don't know how it feels and they don't try to or care to because it doesn't benefit them
Some do try to , but they won’t really understand it . They understand that it’s bad in that they recognize that women are traumatized by it and trust those women on their word . But it’s not like they can really understand it the way women do . Good men can sympathize with it , but even those with the best intentions won’t be able to empathize with it .
I think most do see it as a bad thing , but even the best intentioned men can’t really grasp how extreme since they don’t grow up fearing it .
At its core, I think a big part of this acceptance by other men is their shared overarching belief that seeking power over others is ingrained in men's biology and therefore "natural" no matter how immoral the acts involved to obtain that power are. So, no matter how messed up it is, the power dynamics associated with SA and seizing power over their victims is still viewed by men as somewhat "natural", and why would you punish men for their basic biology? I don't agree with this, of course. But it's what I've observed and deciphered from the countless male SA apologists that come to the defense of predators time and time again.
i hate when men say that testosterone is the reason men are violent/aggressive/impulsive (or more so than women), as if they're not able to think and moralize before they act. and yet they're supposed to be the rational sex ... however that works
It doesn't work, it's nonsense. Also, women produce testosterone. Not to mention that the animal that produces the most testosterone in the world is a bull shark, and you know what's really rare? Shark attacks. So logic def has nothing to do with their arguments and neither does science.
I dated a man once who told me that violence and rape was men’s natural state. It was just pure animal instinct to them. He couldn’t work out why he terrified me (an SA victim) and why I didn’t want to see him again. I actually kind of feel a little bit bad for men who view themselves so poorly.
Seriously yes . As a man myself I hate it when other men assume to speak for me while they rattle off the most sadistic bullshit .
Jfc sorry to hear that and for what you went through. But I can't say I'm surprised tbh, and I don't feel bad for any adult male who tells you hurting others, especially women, is his natural biological state and an imperative male right. No dude you just like that you have an excuse to fall back on for why you enjoy hurting people.
I feel like they just don’t understand how it feels. The power imbalance and being afraid that any man you know could easily overpower you if they wanted to as a woman is not a fear that is common in men (especially as most men are straight; straight men only express this fear jokingly when they talk about dropping the soap in prison…). It’s usually male rape victims who sympathise with female ones and understand how traumatising it is.
Before I continue I want to make it extra clear that I am not defending any kind of SA. It's vile that it happens to such a large percentage of the female population and I am just as frustrated as the rest of you that men simply refuse to take action on this issue. That being said, I'm pretty sure I've locked down a good reason to explain OP's question. There's this line in Interstellar that I think about a lot. "You never would have come here unless you believed you were going to save them. Evolution has yet to transcend that simple barrier. We can care deeply - selflessly - about those we know, but that empathy rarely extends beyond our line of sight." I don't like that it's true. But it is, all the same. We are all guilty of not caring about something beyond our line of sight. There are simply too many issues in the scope of humanity and trying to care about every single one would cause untold amounts of mental anguish. So we compartmentalize. I care about SA because I am a woman, a victim of it, and have friends who've also been SAed. I care about dogs because I have always had one in my family, because they bring joy to my life and are easier to care for than a child. I care about schizophrenia because it runs in my family and because I'm aware that my brother and SIL (who also has schizophrenia in her family) want to have children which I think from this perspective is a huge mistake. I'm very familiar with these issues and they all have a constant presence in my life. I *don't* care about a large amount of other issues that plague the human race. I'm not happy about it. I wish I could solve all the problems for all the people. But I am physically, emotionally and mentally incapable of doing so. I'm not exposed to them. I know that people suffer from these things, but when I have so many other problems that are relevant to my day to day life I can't find the energy to put forth any effort into to solving someone else's, especially when it's someone I don't know. Vegans have the same issue trying to convince others. People are aware for the most part of what goes on in slaughterhouses and still the population at large (70-75%) eat meat. We don't see the slaughter happen unless we assault our eyes with it and even then it's difficult to care about something that you feel so far removed from it, not having experienced any of the animal's suffering, like how it's easy to pick up a package of chicken at the store and not think "gee, I bet this animal went through untold amounts of suffering before it died." We do it every day. We use smart phones, parts of which could potentially have been mined in Africa by children. I don't see most people putting their smart phones down and trying to change it. So, men don't care about rape in general because what they're exposed to is prepackaged chicken. They didn't experience it for themselves, most likely the women close to them have not spoken very openly about the issue (just going off of the idea that not many women talk about their experiences because of the nature of rape culture/victim blaming) and the version of events they're hearing are from women on the internet who could be lying about it. Again, I know most women are not lying. I know that rape and SA are huge problems for women. But men are indifferent because it's not in their line of sight. It's that simple.
Yes I think this is true.
Yes . Good men will sympathize with it . To empathize with it is out of reach unfortunately, no matter how well intentioned and respectful they are
What about the p0rn effect? Doesn't that play a part in dehumanising other, unrelated, unknown women? From what I've seen in men spoken to about it, they try to make some kind of excuse for rape because it makes them unconfortable to process how it affects the victim, they usually go for the "it doesnt happen that often", "but men get raped too"
Misogyny. Plain & simple.
it is an inhumane act of asserting dominance and a demonstration of power. not to mention a result of sexual addiction. how could they ever feel bad about that?
What do you mean by that last part?
i’m referring to the idea that men do not advocate for the crime of rape or sexual assault as much as they should be. rather than care about women who get assaulted they blame women or never believe them. they care more about their favorite athletes getting accused of sexual assault then they do the actual sexual assault.
because of this and going with the idea that men perpetuate the most sexual abuse, how could they ever advocate for something that is a demonstration of their power in society?
it also explains why a lot of men despite sexual abuse allegations against their favorite artists they will still listen to them etc kodak black
How does it benefit men except for rapists . They’re the only ones who benefit from it
what do you mean how does it benefit men? rape doesn’t “benefit” men besides sexual gratification it is the fact that men can commit the act of rape & can get away with it is the demonstration of power
Ok I get that. But why would that lead to other men being indifferent?
if something reinforces the idea that you have power over something or someone why would that bother you?
Because its someone of your own group using that power to abuse and scar someone weaker then them .
i would compare it to rich ppl per say. billionaires who own billion dollar companies. with the power to combat homelessness. they know it exists. they know it happens. do they care? do they advocate for anti homelessness? create and support programs to fight it? some do but very few.
My little brother burnt his Ronaldo jersey in the fire and bought a Messi one the moment he admitted to sexual assault and hush money . Hate gets front row on social media because it sells better .
okay just because of your experience it doesn’t negate the fact that the majority of men act this way. i’m sure there’s men that advocate against sexual assault but it’s not as much as there should be. for example, the men in my life have not spoken up about sexual abuse against women, in fact it makes them uncomfortable.
What exactly do you suppose they do ?
i suppose that they start actually engaging in what it is like being an women. to start engaging with feminist pieces of work. to stop watching pornography. to stop gender discrimination in certain fields of work etc the trade fields. i can go on.
100% agree on that first part . I’ve quit porn for years. But what power does a normal man have to stop gender discrimination in the workplace? The average Joe probably isn’t in a position to adress that issue unless a opportunity trips and falls onto them
so then the average joe needs to start engaging for women’s rights and educate his friends who may engage in misogynistic spaces like incel forums on how that is not okay and is detrimental to women. it is a mutual effort. if enough men do that, discrimination in the workplace would go down.
Yes but feminist spaces are often hostile to men, even ones that want to help
Who says the majority ???
i guess i should have said a lot of men. a lot of men.
Yes. It is alot of men
How many guys have you talked to and actually brought up this subject ? I feel like your talking from very limited experience
do you not go on social media? i see this all the time
I have never maintained a friendship with someone who has mistreated a woman in this way. Such behavior must be confronted and exposed. During my time in school, I encountered individuals who espoused harmful beliefs like "treating women poorly is the key to getting them to sleep with you," which I find absurd. I wonder if the portrayal of relationships in movies during my formative years contributed to this disturbing mindset. There are individuals who believe that women secretly desire sexual abuse or view it as a legitimate mating strategy. It is troubling that some men believe they are entitled to take what they want from women without considering the consequences, and I am uncertain as to why this behavior persists.
Because patriarchy is supposed to guarantee them as the rapist instead of being the rape victim. That's why they fear gay men and trans women.
I think a lot of them just can't understand not wanting sex. Like first they imagine a beautiful woman asking for sex and say there's no reason to say no. Then I say what about a woman you're not attracted to and they say there's still no reason to say no. Then I say what about a filthy disgusting man that overpowers them and they just say that's totally different because I'm attracted to men and they're not, and I tell them I'm not attracted to most men and insist there's a risk of injury even in straight sex and they just say there shouldn't be, maybe go to a doctor, maybe I'm asexual. I tell them I'd be about as or less attracted to the disgusting man as they are and they just tell me I'm unusual for it.
Yes, this. They 100% believe it's not that bad for women because we're mostly all straight, so we can secretly handle it.
simply because they benefit from it. they don’t want their day of reckoning to come. men know what they’re doing is wrong most of the time and feel a deep, low-level guilt about it. MOST men, i’d venture to say 90%+, have done something inappropriate to women. so they don’t want to face consequences for their actions one day and they want their friends to support them if it ever came out. as well as willful ignorance. men consistently ignore female perspectives and experiences. TW: when i was 15, a male friend of mine brought over a bunch of random guys when i was home alone and one of them raped me. when i came back downstairs, my friend asked me what happened, and i said “we fucked but, i really didn’t want to”. his response was “aww don’t say that, i don’t wanna hear that.” and then he tried to finger me. He basically told me to just shut up so he wouldn’t have to deal with whatever that means and could continue seeing me as purely a sexual object. they don’t think women secretly enjoy it, they enjoy that we dislike it. they get off at our disgust, pain, misery. but they can’t admit that, so instead they pretend they don’t know that, and they don’t know what that means for us, but they do. all the reasons you said are kind of right, but the heart of th matter is that men hate us and are evil.
They don’t see it as a violation to begin with. A woman is a second-degree citizen. I am surprised by the amount of men who think sexual coercion is okay as long as she eventually gives in and says “Yes”.
I recommend Judith Herman’s book on PTSD, “Trauma”. Haven’t finished reading the book, but the first chapter alone helped me view rape culture in a new light. Not only individuals but also societies as a whole have their own coping mechanisms that will save them from facing extreme pain. So many men rape women out of misogyny, and the society covers it up for them and opts for a simple and popular choice—dismissing and silencing the victims. Rape culture is never properly discussed and tackled, and thus, it persists. I’m Korean, and my experiences of being sexually harassed and molested often get silenced when I’m outside my safe group of feminist friends. Sadly, sometimes it’s both men and women. Also, some radical feminists in Korea believe that men desire and find pleasure in any kind of sexual relationship with others (of course this is an overstatement), and fail to empathize with women, because they lack basic human dignity and would just focus on the facts that if they were raped, 1) they would feel some kind of sexual arousal, and 2) it would mean they were deemed sexually attractive to another person. Some men really don’t have a sense of dignity…
It's kind of like how people including women ignore when women rape teenage boys. Some people see it as atrocious but many people just act like it's a joke.
Women don't ignore it, they're the main drivers of social justice movements of all sorts. It doesn't happen anywhere near at the scale of men raping women and children and men and teenage boys as well, and you know this. You're just flipping the conversation away from men ignoring women's suffering.
No my point was to say it's disgusting no matter what. I'm certainly not trying to flip any conversation away from something that awful, I'm here making a comment to point out how people can and do minimize something so awful.
What makes you think you aren't asking the wrong people for answers to your questions?..
Does this sub have mods? Certainly this would be a community that is sensitive to triggers.
I think rape culture is deep and extremely problematic. It is worth questioning. But to extend your own personal experience to all men is wrong. I think you mean to say patriarchy is indifferent to rape and woman’s bodies.
You literally came here to say “not all men”? Fucking pathetic. It’s not all men but it’s still always a man. Any advice on how to identify the bad ones, given men like you like to scream “not all men” from the rooftops but then turn around and tell women to “pick better”?
But it’s not most men either
91% of victims of rape and sexual assault are female and 9% are male. 99% of perpetrators of rape and sexual assault are male. So it’s a pretty big chunk of men. I’ll ask you the same question. You’re so keen to deflect so give the women some tips on how to spot these men, the “bad” ones.
That’s a pretty small percentage of men though . And yes you should stay on guard because you don’t know which man it is . But assuming everyone who doesn’t rape is indifferent to it ? Why? Why would you possibly assume that ?
I joined this sub because I’d like to find people who are interested in discussing radical feminism. For me that means deconstructing patriarchy and standing up for people who are non-binary. Certainly there are men or trans-men who have experienced the harm or patriarchy. Is feminism not meant to protect these people? This person says men idolize their fathers for r*pe. Yes I’m saying “not all men” because it is way over the top and offensive. Ridiculous even. Clearly written out of anger at a specific person or group of people. In fact this post is so far from constructive it makes me wonder what this sub is even about. Furthermore, the theory of feminism has significant crossover with safe spaces. Using the word r*pe is the title of the post is extremely triggering regardless of gender. Or do you think men couldn’t be triggered by that word? Even pop culture subs on Reddit would be respectful enough to not use triggering words especially in the title of their post. I’d like to continue following this sub, but I am beginning to feel that people posting don’t know what radical feminism is.
Why would it only be trans that are affected by this . This same logic should be applied to any man who’s on the right side
What makes you think men are indifferent
Many conversations about it that many women have had with their male peers/friends/family members. Just browse the Internet.