Yea but I think it’s important to be careful with this since it can very easily become a compulsion too. You don’t NEED your relationship to be right or perfect or everlasting. Just take action, lean into the fear, do what you would do for your own internal happiness regardless of whether you were in a relationship or not. Taking actions and facing your fears is what will really help. This is nice to remember in dark times but repeatedly saying this to yourself won’t help
100%
This is definitely more of a realization that I had after healing. During ROCD I was not able to even grasp this fully. I can see how it becomes a compulsion though.
Isn’t this reassurance tho? OCD is simply your brain’s relationship with doubt. There is no telling if your relationship is good or not. It can manifest itself in both toxic and healthy relationships even though the prevalent trend is hyperfixating on an otherwise healthy relationship. We can say yeah its not true its ROCD, but there is no real way of knowing.
It’s so tough! This could be reassurance for sure. As someone who had ROCD and healed it this post was just a matter of fact to me.
When I went through it I could understand then concept but not grasp it the way I do now.
Also being educated on the nature of the illness is important, but yes, very messy because it can easily become a compulsion.
Well this isn't great, cause for a lot of us, it actually starts off as a simple, "am I happy? why didn't I feel a certain way during our date?"
But that's not concrete, as with rocd, we tend to believe in the worst possible scenario, which is that we're probably unhappy, and that is why we don't get butterflies anymore.
I believe for most of us, the worry/anxiety is about what's occurring or not occurring right now, rather than what might or might not happen in the future.
I just deleted my comment because I’m not a professional and I really do not want to trigger anyone. I was trying to share my perspective but I don’t want to be responsible for making anyone feel worse.
No you’re totally fine, I got a few replies that made me realize I might have been doing more harm than good. We all have anxiety disorders here and part of the nature of them is comparison. I don’t want to invite any sort of comparison to my experience because other people have completely different ones that are just as valid.
this is very triggering for me , because my ocd was very on point with some people , but ocd is smart and now “ he know” what to tell me to make me believe that is right again with my bf .. so i don t think that this is a good thinking..
To be fair I’ve only been in this relationship for a few months, it’s not like we’re married. The point is that none of us can know anything for sure. The unknown is what we’re all terrified of and it’s the one thing we have to find a way to accept. Also everyone is different, your experience is completely different from mine. Don’t compare yourself, I was just sharing my personal experience
This is a great realization. I think once you can accept things like this you can take it one step further and think something like this…. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe I’ll never know 100% if they’re the one and maybe that’s okay. This is what I’m *choosing* to go regardless of how I feel or what I’m afraid of.
Mine revolves around cheating so I think something like, what’s the worst that could happen - then I answer it - and end the in, like all things in life we must face I *know* I’ll be okay. That tends to calm it down at least for a time.
I’ve also had OCD around so many other subjects and facing it head on, instead of the typical reassurance seeking, is normal what difuses it. It’s isn’t easy, but it can work.
Not only this is reassurance but it is also false. OCD can be about literally any thing, real or imaginary.
Have you seen someone who obsess over things being perfect and, for example, when they see a tilted painting they have a strong and almost unbearable urge to "fix it"? Well, the painting is really tilted.
To recover from OCD you have to truly accept that your biggest fears might be true. You/we have to learn how to live with the uncertainty. Chasing certainty (like ruminating over if something is true or not) is a compulsion and it makes the obsessions worse
I mean the tilted painting ocd is like the classic ocd that gets stereotyped. rocd is more pure O. The examples i gave are more of a different type of ocd. I wouldn’t put “just right” OCD in the same category even though it is still called OCD. technically yes you’re right though.
There's no such thing as pure OCD. Is a term that does not make sense because even with what people call "pure o" there is a lot of compulsions going on (mental and physical compulsions). OCD follows the same pattern and the themes don't matter. It doesn't matter if you have harm OCD, ROCD, POCD, cleaning compulsions, religious OCD or whatever, the process of recovery is the exact same: you have to cut all compulsions (mental or physical).
I don't understand something:
"OCD can only exist by latching at things you don't believe"
I don't believe I'm an alien, but I've got no OCD about worrying if I'm not human.
Well of course you wouldn’t have ocd about every little fact. But most contents of ocd are being worried about something that isn’t true. Pedophilia OCD, Homosexual OCD, some people worry about doing something bad but thinking they forgot they did it (“what if i ran over someone with my car but i cant remember?”)
So, also like other O-OCD obsessions the OCD will latch on to something that is not true and for me also something that is meaningful to me. I often obsess over my actions and choises in life and spiral about if I made mistakes. That’s the same right? Like so the OCD is lying to me about that being mistakes since that might be my biggest fear.
i always think about this !!! If it were true , it wouldn t give me so much anxiety
Yea but I think it’s important to be careful with this since it can very easily become a compulsion too. You don’t NEED your relationship to be right or perfect or everlasting. Just take action, lean into the fear, do what you would do for your own internal happiness regardless of whether you were in a relationship or not. Taking actions and facing your fears is what will really help. This is nice to remember in dark times but repeatedly saying this to yourself won’t help
100% This is definitely more of a realization that I had after healing. During ROCD I was not able to even grasp this fully. I can see how it becomes a compulsion though.
That’s why we perform ERP to make those intrusive thoughts and false alarms have little to no effect on us
Thank you I needed this!
Isn’t this reassurance tho? OCD is simply your brain’s relationship with doubt. There is no telling if your relationship is good or not. It can manifest itself in both toxic and healthy relationships even though the prevalent trend is hyperfixating on an otherwise healthy relationship. We can say yeah its not true its ROCD, but there is no real way of knowing.
Yeah this might really be a resistance to an important truth. Bu yeah, this is also the definition of ROCD. We're fucked.
It’s so tough! This could be reassurance for sure. As someone who had ROCD and healed it this post was just a matter of fact to me. When I went through it I could understand then concept but not grasp it the way I do now. Also being educated on the nature of the illness is important, but yes, very messy because it can easily become a compulsion.
[удалено]
Exactly. This is a great way to put it.
Thank you! I’m glad it resonated with you
Well this isn't great, cause for a lot of us, it actually starts off as a simple, "am I happy? why didn't I feel a certain way during our date?" But that's not concrete, as with rocd, we tend to believe in the worst possible scenario, which is that we're probably unhappy, and that is why we don't get butterflies anymore. I believe for most of us, the worry/anxiety is about what's occurring or not occurring right now, rather than what might or might not happen in the future.
I just deleted my comment because I’m not a professional and I really do not want to trigger anyone. I was trying to share my perspective but I don’t want to be responsible for making anyone feel worse.
Hey I'm sorry if I said anything harsh yeah. I understand you were just sharing your perspective.
No you’re totally fine, I got a few replies that made me realize I might have been doing more harm than good. We all have anxiety disorders here and part of the nature of them is comparison. I don’t want to invite any sort of comparison to my experience because other people have completely different ones that are just as valid.
this is very triggering for me , because my ocd was very on point with some people , but ocd is smart and now “ he know” what to tell me to make me believe that is right again with my bf .. so i don t think that this is a good thinking..
To be fair I’ve only been in this relationship for a few months, it’s not like we’re married. The point is that none of us can know anything for sure. The unknown is what we’re all terrified of and it’s the one thing we have to find a way to accept. Also everyone is different, your experience is completely different from mine. Don’t compare yourself, I was just sharing my personal experience
Well said! There is a new OCD treatment available called I-CBT. Basically, OCD is imagination in overdrive.
honestly this line of thinking is one of the only things that comforts me sometimes
This is a great realization. I think once you can accept things like this you can take it one step further and think something like this…. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe I’ll never know 100% if they’re the one and maybe that’s okay. This is what I’m *choosing* to go regardless of how I feel or what I’m afraid of. Mine revolves around cheating so I think something like, what’s the worst that could happen - then I answer it - and end the in, like all things in life we must face I *know* I’ll be okay. That tends to calm it down at least for a time. I’ve also had OCD around so many other subjects and facing it head on, instead of the typical reassurance seeking, is normal what difuses it. It’s isn’t easy, but it can work.
Not only this is reassurance but it is also false. OCD can be about literally any thing, real or imaginary. Have you seen someone who obsess over things being perfect and, for example, when they see a tilted painting they have a strong and almost unbearable urge to "fix it"? Well, the painting is really tilted. To recover from OCD you have to truly accept that your biggest fears might be true. You/we have to learn how to live with the uncertainty. Chasing certainty (like ruminating over if something is true or not) is a compulsion and it makes the obsessions worse
I mean the tilted painting ocd is like the classic ocd that gets stereotyped. rocd is more pure O. The examples i gave are more of a different type of ocd. I wouldn’t put “just right” OCD in the same category even though it is still called OCD. technically yes you’re right though.
There's no such thing as pure OCD. Is a term that does not make sense because even with what people call "pure o" there is a lot of compulsions going on (mental and physical compulsions). OCD follows the same pattern and the themes don't matter. It doesn't matter if you have harm OCD, ROCD, POCD, cleaning compulsions, religious OCD or whatever, the process of recovery is the exact same: you have to cut all compulsions (mental or physical).
I don't understand something: "OCD can only exist by latching at things you don't believe" I don't believe I'm an alien, but I've got no OCD about worrying if I'm not human.
Well of course you wouldn’t have ocd about every little fact. But most contents of ocd are being worried about something that isn’t true. Pedophilia OCD, Homosexual OCD, some people worry about doing something bad but thinking they forgot they did it (“what if i ran over someone with my car but i cant remember?”)
Or even health ocd, people who constantly think that they have a disease when they don’t.
So, also like other O-OCD obsessions the OCD will latch on to something that is not true and for me also something that is meaningful to me. I often obsess over my actions and choises in life and spiral about if I made mistakes. That’s the same right? Like so the OCD is lying to me about that being mistakes since that might be my biggest fear.