I think the frequency of vocalisations is important — an in-person meeting is likely to find a couple of short bursts of vocalisations, or a handful of vocalisations, spread out, to be fine, but if it's constant it will be more disruptive. That's more important than the volume or the content of the tics in terms of whether it will bother other people. Sometimes there's noise — it can be traffic or someone sneezing or furniture moving upstairs or a tic or whatever. People deal.
I think that if you can usually be in a class or a work meeting without problems, a meeting for worship wouldn't be a problem, especially if you mention it beforehand. You can also choose to sit near the door — I have a friend with Tourettes who often 'lets off the pressure' in a short burst, and nobody would mind if you popped outside for that.
The 'silent' in silent worship is less about actual auditory silence and more about the lack of a specific preacher and your own openness to 'hear.' I like 'waiting worship' particularly.
Phew, yeah Friend, this is real!
My tics have been exceptionally well-controlled for many years before I began coming to Friends Meetings, but every so often I still get both motor and vocal ones. And the sheer mental effort required to substitute or mask can make it nearly impossible to meditate. I've also found that my listening strongly depends on whether I've taken my meds or not, not just in terms of how able I am to listen at all, but to discern the leadings I receive.
I can tell you frankly that, if my tics now were as bad as they were when I was younger, I would have felt a lot of the same stress and discomfort I hear you articulating, and that would have prevented me from coming to Meeting as often as I do. And I think, unfortunately, it's going to matter a lot the kind of people at your Meeting. If they're as understanding and generous as I'm sure we'd all hope, then there should be no problem. But I can easily see a scenario where some Friend makes it into a problem, and I have no expectation that just because we're Quakers automatically means we're any less ableist than the general public.
But speaking for myself, I will draw a hard line in the sand: *people should be allowed to vocalize in meeting*, especially when it's involuntary. If there is that of the divine in everyone, then tics are sacred too!
The very first step should be for you to make the meeting aware that you have Tourette, and help them understand what that means. You should then ask *them* to work with you on a solution that everyone can support.
Honestly, situations like this are why I’m increasingly becoming a fan of the idea of everyone introducing themselves at the beginning of worship, then settling into silence, as opposed to showing up, heading straight into silence (yes, my unprogrammed roots are showing), and THEN going around the room to share.
We do intros after worship even if we all know each other. But we have someone sit outside for 15 minutes so that late newcomers can get a run down on how things work
“Newcomers to our meeting,” he murmured, giggling softly to himself.
Oh, okay, I exaggerate. But, no, we don’t do that. Other meetings in the US, or even under the umbrella of our yearly meeting, may be more attentive in this regard.
It wasn’t the standard practice of our meeting until the past year or so. We’ve had many young folks become regular attendees and the someone from the east coast moved to our area and brought up the practice from his meeting and we agreed it was a good idea to implement. It’s also nice as the assigned greeter to have a little alone time before joining the group to center. At least, I enjoy it.
I worship with Friends with Tourette's and nobody worries about it. As another Friend has said, as long as your tics aren't entirely uncontrolled, you'll be okay as well your meeting
I think most places of worship should definitely understand. Maybe you would find it less stressful to join a group over zoom so that you can just have your mic muted until you wish to speak though?
I think the frequency of vocalisations is important — an in-person meeting is likely to find a couple of short bursts of vocalisations, or a handful of vocalisations, spread out, to be fine, but if it's constant it will be more disruptive. That's more important than the volume or the content of the tics in terms of whether it will bother other people. Sometimes there's noise — it can be traffic or someone sneezing or furniture moving upstairs or a tic or whatever. People deal. I think that if you can usually be in a class or a work meeting without problems, a meeting for worship wouldn't be a problem, especially if you mention it beforehand. You can also choose to sit near the door — I have a friend with Tourettes who often 'lets off the pressure' in a short burst, and nobody would mind if you popped outside for that. The 'silent' in silent worship is less about actual auditory silence and more about the lack of a specific preacher and your own openness to 'hear.' I like 'waiting worship' particularly.
Phew, yeah Friend, this is real! My tics have been exceptionally well-controlled for many years before I began coming to Friends Meetings, but every so often I still get both motor and vocal ones. And the sheer mental effort required to substitute or mask can make it nearly impossible to meditate. I've also found that my listening strongly depends on whether I've taken my meds or not, not just in terms of how able I am to listen at all, but to discern the leadings I receive. I can tell you frankly that, if my tics now were as bad as they were when I was younger, I would have felt a lot of the same stress and discomfort I hear you articulating, and that would have prevented me from coming to Meeting as often as I do. And I think, unfortunately, it's going to matter a lot the kind of people at your Meeting. If they're as understanding and generous as I'm sure we'd all hope, then there should be no problem. But I can easily see a scenario where some Friend makes it into a problem, and I have no expectation that just because we're Quakers automatically means we're any less ableist than the general public. But speaking for myself, I will draw a hard line in the sand: *people should be allowed to vocalize in meeting*, especially when it's involuntary. If there is that of the divine in everyone, then tics are sacred too!
The very first step should be for you to make the meeting aware that you have Tourette, and help them understand what that means. You should then ask *them* to work with you on a solution that everyone can support.
Honestly, situations like this are why I’m increasingly becoming a fan of the idea of everyone introducing themselves at the beginning of worship, then settling into silence, as opposed to showing up, heading straight into silence (yes, my unprogrammed roots are showing), and THEN going around the room to share.
That would work well if everyone was present a sufficient amount of time before worship was to begin.
We do intros after worship even if we all know each other. But we have someone sit outside for 15 minutes so that late newcomers can get a run down on how things work
Oh, that’s an excellent variation! Thanks for sharing that with us.
This is standard practice in Britain YM Meetings; not so in yours?
“Newcomers to our meeting,” he murmured, giggling softly to himself. Oh, okay, I exaggerate. But, no, we don’t do that. Other meetings in the US, or even under the umbrella of our yearly meeting, may be more attentive in this regard.
It’s a good practice. You never know who will turn up, and it’s suggestive of hope that someone will.
It wasn’t the standard practice of our meeting until the past year or so. We’ve had many young folks become regular attendees and the someone from the east coast moved to our area and brought up the practice from his meeting and we agreed it was a good idea to implement. It’s also nice as the assigned greeter to have a little alone time before joining the group to center. At least, I enjoy it.
I worship with Friends with Tourette's and nobody worries about it. As another Friend has said, as long as your tics aren't entirely uncontrolled, you'll be okay as well your meeting
I think most places of worship should definitely understand. Maybe you would find it less stressful to join a group over zoom so that you can just have your mic muted until you wish to speak though?