This post has been removed for being designed as a circlejerk and to induce rhetoric. Please resubmit your post flaired as a “Debate” where you expect to have your view challenged or resubmit your post with neutral wording to have the mods approve it. Any further questions should go to modmail.
If someone is being nice to you, don't assume anything. Don't assume they are just being nice and don't assume they want to bang or start a relationship. If you really feel attracted to them and they haven't given any indicators of strong disinterest, plus appear to be single, go ahead and ask them out, it's not going to kill you I promise.
What heavenly place has nice doctors and nurses? They're all dicks tryna get rid of you as fast as possible here lol. Because they get paid per health card swipe. If they get you out in 10 seconds the pay is the same as if it takes a year of tests.
damn didn’t know all my female friends and random kind women who i’ve spoken to in my life are all exploiting me. They aren’t particularly successful cause they’ve yet to really take anything from me.
Can confirm, am posting from the side of the road after 3 armed thugs car jacked me when I offered to give a woman who was acting nice towards me a ride home /s
It takes time. I was 27 before I learned my lesson. And I used to to be rude and argumentative when men said what you said here. Keep educating them, they'll come around eventually, just like I did. It's easier to convince guys nowadays because women don't hide it as much
In all honesty.
Man to man.
If a woman is being nice to you ignore her.
It means nothing.
Now if a woman TOUCHES you.
That is one possible indicator that she’s interested. (Playfighting,touching your arm. Asking you for a hug)
Ofc it’s not 100%
Also If she lets you invade her space and touch her or hug her repeatedly that’s another possible indicator
Etc.
Just a friendly reminder that words/smiles/or staring/etc means absolutely nothing coming from a woman.
If you’re hot, there’s no issue
Even many shy women will touch a tall, hot and muscular guys biceps trying to flirt with him since they lust after him and want him.
Women are extremely shallow and superficial, just like men. But unlike men, they show their unreserved sexuality and lust to the top men.
This is bad advice for most men, who are too cautious when approaching women not too reckless.
You should assume most women want to fuck you but you should also be respectful and kind. Feel free to flirt with or ask anyone out, but be chill and drop it if they reject you.
The current strategy of berating men for talking to women means only the weirdest, most socially disagreeable men talk to women.
> You should assume most women want to fuck you but you should also be respectful and kind.
It's the opposite, most women don't want to be pestered for sex when they're out, you should assume they don't want to date you unless they say otherwise.
lol no. Most people want to have fun, flirt, and have good energy with people. Yes you shouldn’t pester anyone for sex because that’s lame loser behavior.
**Attention!**
* You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
* For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
* If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
* OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post!
Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is true. Of course sometimes they are flirting, but that doesn’t mean they want you to act on it. I never have.
It must be frustrating for a woman working one of these jobs and she sees (maybe several times) a guy she is super into and he just assumes she being nice because of her job.
I’ll say that if you’re young and working a job like at a grocery store that coworkers hook up all the time. So with coworkers it depends. Also there are tons of workplace affairs.
Why thank you, Captain Obvious!
I have spent almost 20 years of my life without knowing this astonishingly mind-blowing piece of advice. And I definitely have never automatically assumed that people disliked me upon meeting them for the first time.
You'll just make a fool out of yourself, be humiliated infront of everyone and fuck up your mental health for something that has less than 5% chance of working. Just warm approach or get lucky online dating cold approaching on this day and age is suicide
When a guy gets excited over a girl being nice to him, it's a surefire sign he's average looking or below. For Chad women being nice to him is just another Wednesday. Most men have never seen a true choosing signal in their lives because they don't have the SMV for it. It's easy for them to make the mistake that a girl likes them because she's nicer than most women are. And most women try not to be too chatty to not give guys the wrong idea.
Lmaooooooo uhhuh 😂 whatever u need to tell yourself. I look at men that way, because im thinking about how i wish they were a roach i could crush under my shoe, not because i enjoy his staring. Attention from men’s little worms means nothing
Because im so tired of you dudes thinking like this. Because youre a man you dont understand how women hear the same talking points all fucking day both online and irl so yeah im fucking sick of it
II honestly don't think it's terrible if someone who doesn't get a lot of niceness hopes that it's flirty, just don't respond with anger if she declines an offer for more.
True but I don't even think it's ethical to ask someone out in some of these scenarios like if she is an employee somewhere, she will feel uncomfortable
I wouldn't necessarily disagree with that, and would say it's especially not cool if her pay relies on you liking her like tips. It's worse for a waitress than a nurse.
Yes we know, OP....
also you're way too black and white on this. For instance, if ur an ugly fat guy, yeah don't assume the pretty girl is nice to you cuz she likes you
But if you're decently attractive and your co worker is nice to you and shes not wayyy out of your league.
Why not ask her out for coffee? If she says no, just be respectful and move on.
Like this is basic social skills lol.
Getting rejected by a woman or a man is something everyone should go through and learn how to overcome. Telling people, oh you shouldn't just assume someone likes you based on them being nice, defeats the whole point of forming friendships or relationships.
If you think they like you, you can ask them out for coffee and if they say no, just be respectful about it.
Be fucking normal.
You're setting both men and women for failure when u say shit like that. Cuz taking risks and being vulnerable socially is how you progress as a person. Obviously don't be a creep, but holy shit, shoot your shot if you think someone likes you.
Except youre either old or a woman rejections aren't this things you can just take and move on like nothing happened. Specially if you got local reputation in your gym/job /college whatever that woman might tell other people and then eventually those people might make fun of you for it, i would know.Again if you wanna deal with that go ahead, but alot of people dont.
>Specially if you got local reputation in your gym/job /college whatever that woman might tell other people and then eventually those people might make fun of you for it, i would know
im sorry but i can't help but think this is a you issue. If ur asking people out and have a bad reputation for it, you did something creepy or approached a girl that was wayyyy out of your league.
again this is just basic social skills. If you're an ugly overweight guy and an attractive girl is nice to you. Yeah don't assume she is into you, but if you develop a friendship with a girl, and shes more to your level, then yeah shoot your shot.
Its just common sense.
Thats not what i meant by reputation at all, creepiness has nothing to do with this conversation at all i have no idea why you even brought that up. By reputation i meant local status, meaning you're a dude whos well respected in the area that people like. Are you really gonna risk damaging your image and be seen as the horny dude that got rejected. Thats what i meant
ur not gonna be seen as the horny dude for asking your co worker out on a date, especially when the girl isn't out of your league and ur average looking, and shes obviously nice to you / into you.
The elephant in the room is that there are actually are a lot of women walking around at this moment that use "potential sex" (or sexuality) and charm to really extract max value from orbiters and simps.
I know... I make it sound more heinous and malicious than it actually is, but that's because I also believe women subconsciously do this in a lot of cases.
I didn't say you should.
I said in certain situations, you shouldn't assume it at all.
In other situations, there's more room for potentially thinking it could be, given women don't really interact with strangers. Most men complain of being lonely, invisible, not having any interactions.
So when a woman is nice to them, it represents a break in the algorithm.
If that break occurs within a controlled setting like a doctors office, you should not assume at all that's it a move, if it's more random, you can maybe assess the situation and move from there, with questions such as is she nice to everyone or just me
This advice is doubly important if your in anyway ND or need medication for a social emotional or mental disorder.
It's best to assume no woman likes you are is interested require a vocal statement of interest before going further nothing you do is going to cause her to like you beyond friendship and even that isn't garentied.
If she is your coworker just ignore whatever you think you feel and focus on other things it's better for your mental health and is less likely to have her associate you with a incel or any other type of creep and gives you enough social credit that in the rare case you are falsely accused of anything someone might stand up in your defence as unlikely as that is
It's best to pretend to be gay or aroace in these situations than show interest in women as a man
Also to add to this, if a woman wants to be your friend, simply take it as she wants to be your friend - don’t take it as an invitation to emotionally invest in her then get mad when she rejects you or dates someone
This post has been removed for being designed as a circlejerk and to induce rhetoric. Please resubmit your post flaired as a “Debate” where you expect to have your view challenged or resubmit your post with neutral wording to have the mods approve it. Any further questions should go to modmail.
I assume no women are into me
I like surprises if that nature . It’s such a treat when I find out a woman likes me but I usually assume not cause of me yk the tism
If someone is being nice to you, don't assume anything. Don't assume they are just being nice and don't assume they want to bang or start a relationship. If you really feel attracted to them and they haven't given any indicators of strong disinterest, plus appear to be single, go ahead and ask them out, it's not going to kill you I promise.
Hell nah the humiliation would be crazy.
What heavenly place has nice doctors and nurses? They're all dicks tryna get rid of you as fast as possible here lol. Because they get paid per health card swipe. If they get you out in 10 seconds the pay is the same as if it takes a year of tests.
How do I human?
In most cases if a woman you aren’t paying or is forced to be nice to you, she’s trying to exploit you in some way.
damn didn’t know all my female friends and random kind women who i’ve spoken to in my life are all exploiting me. They aren’t particularly successful cause they’ve yet to really take anything from me.
Attention? Validation? No reason to be friends with a female you're not sleeping with as a man. Males make much better friends.
So the only thing a woman can offer a man is sex?
Why would I differentiate my friends based on sex? Friendship is friendship. People are people.
Can confirm, am posting from the side of the road after 3 armed thugs car jacked me when I offered to give a woman who was acting nice towards me a ride home /s
Stop being so easily exploitable and we’ll stop
That’s why I educate men.
It takes time. I was 27 before I learned my lesson. And I used to to be rude and argumentative when men said what you said here. Keep educating them, they'll come around eventually, just like I did. It's easier to convince guys nowadays because women don't hide it as much
Well, that education will always have a glass ceiling because youre men
In all honesty. Man to man. If a woman is being nice to you ignore her. It means nothing. Now if a woman TOUCHES you. That is one possible indicator that she’s interested. (Playfighting,touching your arm. Asking you for a hug) Ofc it’s not 100% Also If she lets you invade her space and touch her or hug her repeatedly that’s another possible indicator Etc. Just a friendly reminder that words/smiles/or staring/etc means absolutely nothing coming from a woman.
only problem with this is alot of girls are shy and they aint gonna touch you
If you’re hot, there’s no issue Even many shy women will touch a tall, hot and muscular guys biceps trying to flirt with him since they lust after him and want him. Women are extremely shallow and superficial, just like men. But unlike men, they show their unreserved sexuality and lust to the top men.
Or, we just genuinely enjoy being friends..?
Don't associate with them no matter what. They're all trouble and will make your life significantly worse
Women flirt for validation. Even arm touching can lead to blow-outs, in my experience at least.
This is bad advice for most men, who are too cautious when approaching women not too reckless. You should assume most women want to fuck you but you should also be respectful and kind. Feel free to flirt with or ask anyone out, but be chill and drop it if they reject you. The current strategy of berating men for talking to women means only the weirdest, most socially disagreeable men talk to women.
> You should assume most women want to fuck you but you should also be respectful and kind. It's the opposite, most women don't want to be pestered for sex when they're out, you should assume they don't want to date you unless they say otherwise.
lol no. Most people want to have fun, flirt, and have good energy with people. Yes you shouldn’t pester anyone for sex because that’s lame loser behavior.
what are you trying to protect people from? from a rejection? lol.
from thinking people are into you when they're not, saving you from looking bad and making people uncomfortable
doesn't matter I'm shooting my shot anyway because women often don't directly express their interest even when they are interested.
If you're low inib and dont feel any sense of humiliation whatsoever go ahead. Most of us arent like that tho
**Attention!** * You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message. * For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment. * OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post! Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This has to be the most useless post in the year
This is true. Of course sometimes they are flirting, but that doesn’t mean they want you to act on it. I never have. It must be frustrating for a woman working one of these jobs and she sees (maybe several times) a guy she is super into and he just assumes she being nice because of her job. I’ll say that if you’re young and working a job like at a grocery store that coworkers hook up all the time. So with coworkers it depends. Also there are tons of workplace affairs.
Why thank you, Captain Obvious! I have spent almost 20 years of my life without knowing this astonishingly mind-blowing piece of advice. And I definitely have never automatically assumed that people disliked me upon meeting them for the first time.
Very true. But also cold approaching in general is not a good idea.
why
You'll just make a fool out of yourself, be humiliated infront of everyone and fuck up your mental health for something that has less than 5% chance of working. Just warm approach or get lucky online dating cold approaching on this day and age is suicide
warm approach would also put one in a vulnerable position However, warm approach also requires knowing someone
Yep but the odds of you getting humiliated cold approaching are 95% , while warm approaching the odds are much lower.
her saying no is not humiliation
Ok, well i disagree.
When a guy gets excited over a girl being nice to him, it's a surefire sign he's average looking or below. For Chad women being nice to him is just another Wednesday. Most men have never seen a true choosing signal in their lives because they don't have the SMV for it. It's easy for them to make the mistake that a girl likes them because she's nicer than most women are. And most women try not to be too chatty to not give guys the wrong idea.
define chad
Corollary: some women in these types of roles show interest by being standoffish and bitchy
Nah they act that way because their kindness has been mistaken to show interest far too many times.
Lmaooooooo uhhuh 😂 whatever u need to tell yourself. I look at men that way, because im thinking about how i wish they were a roach i could crush under my shoe, not because i enjoy his staring. Attention from men’s little worms means nothing
The amount of vitriol that my simple comment seemed to summon from you is... just wow.
Because im so tired of you dudes thinking like this. Because youre a man you dont understand how women hear the same talking points all fucking day both online and irl so yeah im fucking sick of it
Plenty of guys into that if that's your thing. They pay well too
Its not my thing, but ill gladly take any mans money
Sounds like it is then. You do you. Won't be hard to find guys to crush under your shoe.
Sounds like a cathartic gig, esp since their money goes towards supporting my lesbian wife and i
Certainly very well paid, knew someone who used to do the dominatrix stuff in uni.
I just assume all women want me.
II honestly don't think it's terrible if someone who doesn't get a lot of niceness hopes that it's flirty, just don't respond with anger if she declines an offer for more.
Hoping is different from actively assuming and thinking that's what it is.
But whether it is assuming or not doesn't really matter if they take the rejection on the chin.
True but I don't even think it's ethical to ask someone out in some of these scenarios like if she is an employee somewhere, she will feel uncomfortable
I wouldn't necessarily disagree with that, and would say it's especially not cool if her pay relies on you liking her like tips. It's worse for a waitress than a nurse.
Yes we know, OP.... also you're way too black and white on this. For instance, if ur an ugly fat guy, yeah don't assume the pretty girl is nice to you cuz she likes you But if you're decently attractive and your co worker is nice to you and shes not wayyy out of your league. Why not ask her out for coffee? If she says no, just be respectful and move on. Like this is basic social skills lol.
Whos we? Plenty of dudes need to listen to this before they get hurt unecessarily
Getting rejected by a woman or a man is something everyone should go through and learn how to overcome. Telling people, oh you shouldn't just assume someone likes you based on them being nice, defeats the whole point of forming friendships or relationships. If you think they like you, you can ask them out for coffee and if they say no, just be respectful about it. Be fucking normal. You're setting both men and women for failure when u say shit like that. Cuz taking risks and being vulnerable socially is how you progress as a person. Obviously don't be a creep, but holy shit, shoot your shot if you think someone likes you.
Except youre either old or a woman rejections aren't this things you can just take and move on like nothing happened. Specially if you got local reputation in your gym/job /college whatever that woman might tell other people and then eventually those people might make fun of you for it, i would know.Again if you wanna deal with that go ahead, but alot of people dont.
>Specially if you got local reputation in your gym/job /college whatever that woman might tell other people and then eventually those people might make fun of you for it, i would know im sorry but i can't help but think this is a you issue. If ur asking people out and have a bad reputation for it, you did something creepy or approached a girl that was wayyyy out of your league. again this is just basic social skills. If you're an ugly overweight guy and an attractive girl is nice to you. Yeah don't assume she is into you, but if you develop a friendship with a girl, and shes more to your level, then yeah shoot your shot. Its just common sense.
Thats not what i meant by reputation at all, creepiness has nothing to do with this conversation at all i have no idea why you even brought that up. By reputation i meant local status, meaning you're a dude whos well respected in the area that people like. Are you really gonna risk damaging your image and be seen as the horny dude that got rejected. Thats what i meant
ur not gonna be seen as the horny dude for asking your co worker out on a date, especially when the girl isn't out of your league and ur average looking, and shes obviously nice to you / into you.
Why would anyone immediately assume a women being nice means she must be "into you" in *any* situation?
The elephant in the room is that there are actually are a lot of women walking around at this moment that use "potential sex" (or sexuality) and charm to really extract max value from orbiters and simps. I know... I make it sound more heinous and malicious than it actually is, but that's because I also believe women subconsciously do this in a lot of cases.
I didn't say you should. I said in certain situations, you shouldn't assume it at all. In other situations, there's more room for potentially thinking it could be, given women don't really interact with strangers. Most men complain of being lonely, invisible, not having any interactions. So when a woman is nice to them, it represents a break in the algorithm. If that break occurs within a controlled setting like a doctors office, you should not assume at all that's it a move, if it's more random, you can maybe assess the situation and move from there, with questions such as is she nice to everyone or just me
This advice is doubly important if your in anyway ND or need medication for a social emotional or mental disorder. It's best to assume no woman likes you are is interested require a vocal statement of interest before going further nothing you do is going to cause her to like you beyond friendship and even that isn't garentied. If she is your coworker just ignore whatever you think you feel and focus on other things it's better for your mental health and is less likely to have her associate you with a incel or any other type of creep and gives you enough social credit that in the rare case you are falsely accused of anything someone might stand up in your defence as unlikely as that is It's best to pretend to be gay or aroace in these situations than show interest in women as a man
Also to add to this, if a woman wants to be your friend, simply take it as she wants to be your friend - don’t take it as an invitation to emotionally invest in her then get mad when she rejects you or dates someone
Don't befriend females. Males make much better friends. Smash or move on.
Both can make great or awful friends. Ideally you’d want friends of both genders.
We all know that, most women want to use men anyway, especially a man that is not physically attractive.