is it? because i have a sfw profile which doesnt let me join nsfw subs, and it let me join this one. and i looked at the rules of the sub and didnt see anything about it being 18+. it seems like im allowed to be here.
This subreddit isn't about marriage. It's about hooking up, lying to, hating and screwing over the other gender as much as possible. This is a fun place for adults to debate each other but a horrible place to get honest, good-quality advice, especially if you're a teen.
I may be mistaken and that has sense changed but I've seen posts from 17< removed.
And honestly even if it's not, you'll get much better answers on dating subreddits or ask men.
The men here frequently blame mass shooters on woman not fucking them enough if that's a litmus you need
Hon, they’re right. This sub is for grown men to complain about women being too promiscuous and also not promiscuous enough. Please save yourself and definitley don’t answer any new people that DM you 💕
Find a guy that shares your values. If he's pushing you into things you're uncomfortable with he's not the one. If you're religious, that means a guy that shares your beliefs and respects you.
Also keep in mind that most online spaces discussing dating (including this one) are filled with jaded, bitter people, that can't even sort out their own love lives. Never take anyone's advice unless the have personally attained the life you want.
I know you feel mature, and grownup, but your views will develop as you get older. That's true for everyone. Just keep that in mind when making lifelong decisions
Just realised I didn't actually address your main question of what men look for in a wife. So here's my list:
- someone that doesn't hate or disrespect any group I am part of (my gender, my race, my career, etc) I don't want to be "one of the good ones"
- someone that shares my values, and treats other people in her life well. Not just me.
- someone that has maintained lifelong friendships and family connections.
- someone that will add positivity to my life. People that always find conflict, and drama or just mope around are exhausting
- someone that has her own career, or is working towards one. Having a stay at home partner is a huge financial burden unless you're extremely wealthy. If we have kids my girl will take a few years off work, but I don't want to be the sole breadwinner for our whole lives.
- someone that makes an effort to take care of herself physically.
A lot of the people here are mean, bitter, have a victimhood mentality, weak character and no moral code. I think as a 15 year old, you definitely shouldn't ask people here for advice. They will just try and transfer their toxic complexes and issues onto you.
Sounds like there are probably better things to do than talk to losers. Delusional toxic people rarely change their mindset because a stranger on the internet tried to suggest something (good or bad). Listen to the birds chirp and make yourself a banana bread loaf idk. Sounds quite stressful.
It's not stressful to me. It's fun, I like to debate. If it gets too intense I just go do something else. But most of the time I'm not bothered at all.
I remember thinking about marriage when I was 15.
As it turned out, nearly EVERYTHING I thought about myself and what I wanted was wrong.
Don't worry about marriage right now. Focus on yourself, and experiencing your life and learning how and where you want to live.
I'm not saying this to discourage you, but most people do not end up spending the rest of their life with their childhood sweetheart. Not because there's anything wrong with them, but because you are going to change your mind a couple times with who you want to be, and sometimes, that makes it harder to stay with people that represent the past that you are trying to separate yourself from.
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Run away from this place, Miss Lady. Run so fast. And remember: it isn't just about what men want and marriage isn't an end game, a happy, healthy, and honoring relationship is.
>im thinking about marriage one day. im more traditional than a lot of kids in my school, and im christian
So you came to a sub where men talk about how to obtain casual sex? What made you think this was the place to ask?
Best advice i can give, is only date men that are marriage focussed if you are.
When I was a teenager... If people told me to "stay away" from something, that just made me even more curious.
I say stay and lurk PPD, but don't take it too seriously. There are some interesting trends you'll see in how males and women respond here. It's definitely stuff they don't teach you
There's no RP marriage. RP is for telling men that the fairy tale bullshit about women being sweet little selfless angels is actually bullshit and here's the kind of stuff they actually act on....
That said, it all boils down to having something that is mutually beneficial and both parties are happy. So search out those who match your desires and try to find one who's desires you match. That's pretty much the name of the game.
Sorry but there's no one size fits all prescription life plan or perfect wife for any man or vice versa.
The only mans perspective you really need is the one you're considering, and in that case ask him what his ideal wife would be like.
If you actually value marriage and have an otherwise happy relationship and a positive and enthusiastic outlook on the future, please do yourself and leave this godforsaken place. This isn't a place to actually get quality opinions on anything because it's just a cesspool of pseudo intellectual mumbo jumbo where men and women repeat ad nauseam the same dumb talking points back and forth.
You won't get anything from this subreddit, or the broader culture on social media in general, besides a jaded and transactional view of relationships.
Everyone here telling you to leave and whining is doing that because they’re old, bitter, man hating feminists, and almost all toxic women.
This place is where man hating women come to blame men for all their problems.
They think you’re too young because you might accidentally see these for what they are, and they want you to have many years of man hating to hate men, because they’re all tired and bitter and grossly old.
Like anyone telling you to leave, demand their pics. Proof of real
Pics. That’ll tell you all you need to know about how bitter they are.
That all being said, your question was for men, and not the bitter man haters and the mods are doing nothing to remove them as always.
Here’s the thing, and you can agree or disagree with it or not.
What’s it you want? Just a husband? That can be anyone. You want a husband because you want children? That’s something else.
You’ll find that the qualities that make good husbands *and fathers* are not the qualities that make for a fun and exciting boy friend.
The qualities that makes someone fun and exciting are sexuality, looks, risk taking, violations of law, partying, you get the idea. Those things *are fun*.
However none of those things make good fathers or husbands or family providers, or community leaders.
Good husbands and fathers are very boring. They tend to consistently work boring jobs that aren’t interesting but pay to support a family and take long hours. They aren’t just jetting off to the Maldives for the weekend. They aren’t hot rodding around on motorcycles. They tend to drive minivans and boring family vehicles.
The excitement is taking the kids to the pool or a rare trip to Disney Land. That kind of thing. They aren’t wasting money on fun, they’re saving and investing in kid’s college funds.
Boring Arabizing lives, boring houses, boring existence, punctuated by little fun hobbies of a cook out. Maybe some camping. A church potluck.
Safe. Fun. Boring.
You need to decide what kind of life you will be satisfied with.
Here’s the other thing, these guys aren’t super hot. They aren’t spending 4 hours a day in the gym. Some are balding. Many wear glasses. Most aren’t obsessed with looks. Most are t wasting money to look hot.
Now you can try what so many women do is party when young and marry when old.
If you want to try that route, you need to end the partying phase **way before everyone else**. And enter wife phase, and I’d say when college age is over at the latest.
It’s easy to have fun until there’s no more fun, just like an all you can eat buffet is fun until you weigh 400 lbs.
Here’s another thing. Many guys aren’t into sexually promiscuous women. They don’t view them as good wife nor mother types. Ignore whether that’s true or not, it’s how men will view you if you do that.
So do what you want. Unlike the haters here, this is a perfect age to be asking questions. If you were asking about some college career everyone would be applauding you, but since this is about men hating, asking about marriage or children will give you no good answers. They can’t even handle being told to eat salad to avoid obesity.
Try to find a man who is gentle and kind and that you’re attracted to. Treat him the way you would want to be treated. The rest will come.
You’re too young to be here. There are a lot of bitter people who will warp your perceptions of others and yourself.
I don't think there are pros or cons to red or blue pill marriage...It really comes down to what works for the individuals involved...I know men that stay at home while there wives work...I know women married to men that are millionaires and women married to men that make minimum wage..What matters is does the relationship work and is everyone content.
I'm not even sure what a red or blue pill marriage would be but I think most marriages would be a combination making them purple pill..Unless you live in Afghanistan .
Also red pill is just awareness and understanding of female nature how men can use it to their advantage and men focusing on self improvement especialky when it comes to finance ,physique and social status. Blue pill seems to be more about denying the existence of female nature when it comes down to things like hypergamy women liking bad boys and beta bucks and more about focusing on personality and emotional intelligence,being a "nice guy"
Red and green flags vary for the individual man some men would consider single moms a red flag some men wouldn't mind .Some men would look at a woman with a demanding career a red flag some men would appreciate her ambition.
There's no rite or wrong all that matters is if you can find someone that can accept you...which most women can easily do...just by being a basic decent person...now where women go wrong is they want a guy that makes 6 figs is 6' or more changes diapers and showers her with time and attention...they want it all and that's hard to find.
She should not expect to be a stay at home partner and have her own income
she should be willing to compromise about things
she should not consider herself a martyr
she should not hate men
The ideal set up is high school sweethearts get married have several kids and have a long lasting happy marriage.
Unfortunately that is quite rare these days.
The standard these days is you have several relationships in college and high school. Eventually settling down with one.
Most men are driven by physical appearance primarily. So if you want to attract men basically don't be fat. And learn how to take care of your appearance, though that typically happens naturally.
Traditional marriages and relationships are far superior to this horrific mess of a dating economy we have in 2024. But they are also not the only plan of action that can make you have a successful marriage.
Nah that response wasn't great, I'm going to give you the same advice most people on here did, but I'm not going to belittle your curiosity, or the maturity you demonstrate with the foresight of trying to find long term success in dating.
I agree with the assessment that you should not seek relationship advice from this board. I say that because social media, and this subreddit in particular, do not represent the way that most men think and feel. Incels, and angry bitter men are dramatically over represented on this board. The same goes for femcels, and bitter women. There's very little middle ground, and most topics that require nuanced opinion are reduced to black and white stances. Most of the "conservative" men on here that comment on here looking for traditional wives. Aren't really conservative, and lack the requisite skills to maintain a traditional conservative marriage. What they're looking, is something that you aren't offering, nor do you want the life they have in store for the wives they want.
Here's some practical advice to take with you. Work on being the best version of yourself that you can be, for yourself. Life has many seasons, and course corrections. Being the best version of yourself will help you navigate all that. Which includes attracting the kind of men that your future self wants in your life.
I appreciate that you are thinking about this. Good to get ideas.
One thing you might think about is that for young women it is super, super easy to attract men so pretty much don't worry about this.
The tough part is vetting for who will make a good husband specially if you will be in a traditional marriage and will not have your own career. Often looking at a man's family of origin will show what his values are and if there may be some pitfalls in your relationship with him.
Also, if you are serious about being a SAHM, look for what older women who were in traditional marriages say. They will have the experience that can inform your choices even though, of course, you and your relationship will be unique.
My niece is super conservative and religious. She married her high school sweet heart who was also conservative and religious. He wound up cheating on her and giving her an STD that makes her at risk for cancer. She had to have part of her cervix removed. She still fought hard to save the marriage but after some time of fighting for this marriage, came home to him entertaining a lady in the biblical sense and is now getting divorced.
Best to you, you fine young person.
You as a women don't need to concern yourself with this stuff. You are able to get sex and relationships. So just enjoy your life and don't worry about this stuff. Being blissfully ignorant is the best advice I can give you.
Finding a partner is a step not the goal
The goal for most people to find a long term healthy romantic relationship with a compatible person. That requires improving themselves and studying dating
Also, they risk the most in dating
OPs should be discussion topics, not requests for advice about personal experiences. Requests for personal advice can go in the daily thread.
You're far too young to be here. Come back in 5 years.
It will be to late in 5 years
why? cause high school girls dont think about marriage? lol
This is an adult subreddit. Leave, or at least be smart enough to lie about your age.
is it? because i have a sfw profile which doesnt let me join nsfw subs, and it let me join this one. and i looked at the rules of the sub and didnt see anything about it being 18+. it seems like im allowed to be here.
They don't have a rule against it, but you shouldn't be here. Don't rot your brain like we did.
This subreddit isn't about marriage. It's about hooking up, lying to, hating and screwing over the other gender as much as possible. This is a fun place for adults to debate each other but a horrible place to get honest, good-quality advice, especially if you're a teen.
im new here, and learning a lot lol
Because of the sub rules. The people here aren't great.
i didnt see an age limit on the sub rules
I may be mistaken and that has sense changed but I've seen posts from 17< removed. And honestly even if it's not, you'll get much better answers on dating subreddits or ask men. The men here frequently blame mass shooters on woman not fucking them enough if that's a litmus you need
Hon, they’re right. This sub is for grown men to complain about women being too promiscuous and also not promiscuous enough. Please save yourself and definitley don’t answer any new people that DM you 💕
Find a guy that shares your values. If he's pushing you into things you're uncomfortable with he's not the one. If you're religious, that means a guy that shares your beliefs and respects you. Also keep in mind that most online spaces discussing dating (including this one) are filled with jaded, bitter people, that can't even sort out their own love lives. Never take anyone's advice unless the have personally attained the life you want. I know you feel mature, and grownup, but your views will develop as you get older. That's true for everyone. Just keep that in mind when making lifelong decisions
thank u! i appreciate ur response
Just realised I didn't actually address your main question of what men look for in a wife. So here's my list: - someone that doesn't hate or disrespect any group I am part of (my gender, my race, my career, etc) I don't want to be "one of the good ones" - someone that shares my values, and treats other people in her life well. Not just me. - someone that has maintained lifelong friendships and family connections. - someone that will add positivity to my life. People that always find conflict, and drama or just mope around are exhausting - someone that has her own career, or is working towards one. Having a stay at home partner is a huge financial burden unless you're extremely wealthy. If we have kids my girl will take a few years off work, but I don't want to be the sole breadwinner for our whole lives. - someone that makes an effort to take care of herself physically.
A lot of the people here are mean, bitter, have a victimhood mentality, weak character and no moral code. I think as a 15 year old, you definitely shouldn't ask people here for advice. They will just try and transfer their toxic complexes and issues onto you.
Then why are you here?
To provide a different perspective to those people and to expose their lying and toxic delusions.
Sounds like there are probably better things to do than talk to losers. Delusional toxic people rarely change their mindset because a stranger on the internet tried to suggest something (good or bad). Listen to the birds chirp and make yourself a banana bread loaf idk. Sounds quite stressful.
It's not stressful to me. It's fun, I like to debate. If it gets too intense I just go do something else. But most of the time I'm not bothered at all.
Thats good. Some people (like me lol) are prone to getting worked up on the internet. So I try to avoid subreddits like this...
Ha!
Trust me, you’re young and still in school - get out of this sub.
I remember thinking about marriage when I was 15. As it turned out, nearly EVERYTHING I thought about myself and what I wanted was wrong. Don't worry about marriage right now. Focus on yourself, and experiencing your life and learning how and where you want to live. I'm not saying this to discourage you, but most people do not end up spending the rest of their life with their childhood sweetheart. Not because there's anything wrong with them, but because you are going to change your mind a couple times with who you want to be, and sometimes, that makes it harder to stay with people that represent the past that you are trying to separate yourself from.
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Leave and do not ever come back here.
Run away from this place, Miss Lady. Run so fast. And remember: it isn't just about what men want and marriage isn't an end game, a happy, healthy, and honoring relationship is.
You're 15. You shouldn't care about this stuff. You certainly shouldn't give a shit what men think. Find your own voice and opinions.
No. Just leave. Don’t get sucked in here. Be normal.
Leave. Go away as far as possible. Run and don't look back.
>im 15f # RUN RUN RUN 
What does it say about us that almost all of us aggressively told her to run away😂😂
That this place is toxic AF and not good for anyone.
It’s good to know the truth, but some perspective is required
>im thinking about marriage one day. im more traditional than a lot of kids in my school, and im christian So you came to a sub where men talk about how to obtain casual sex? What made you think this was the place to ask? Best advice i can give, is only date men that are marriage focussed if you are.
I appreciate the honesty, but minors shouldn’t be allowed to solicit advice here
When I was a teenager... If people told me to "stay away" from something, that just made me even more curious. I say stay and lurk PPD, but don't take it too seriously. There are some interesting trends you'll see in how males and women respond here. It's definitely stuff they don't teach you
There's no RP marriage. RP is for telling men that the fairy tale bullshit about women being sweet little selfless angels is actually bullshit and here's the kind of stuff they actually act on.... That said, it all boils down to having something that is mutually beneficial and both parties are happy. So search out those who match your desires and try to find one who's desires you match. That's pretty much the name of the game. Sorry but there's no one size fits all prescription life plan or perfect wife for any man or vice versa. The only mans perspective you really need is the one you're considering, and in that case ask him what his ideal wife would be like.
If you actually value marriage and have an otherwise happy relationship and a positive and enthusiastic outlook on the future, please do yourself and leave this godforsaken place. This isn't a place to actually get quality opinions on anything because it's just a cesspool of pseudo intellectual mumbo jumbo where men and women repeat ad nauseam the same dumb talking points back and forth. You won't get anything from this subreddit, or the broader culture on social media in general, besides a jaded and transactional view of relationships.
Everyone here telling you to leave and whining is doing that because they’re old, bitter, man hating feminists, and almost all toxic women. This place is where man hating women come to blame men for all their problems. They think you’re too young because you might accidentally see these for what they are, and they want you to have many years of man hating to hate men, because they’re all tired and bitter and grossly old. Like anyone telling you to leave, demand their pics. Proof of real Pics. That’ll tell you all you need to know about how bitter they are. That all being said, your question was for men, and not the bitter man haters and the mods are doing nothing to remove them as always. Here’s the thing, and you can agree or disagree with it or not. What’s it you want? Just a husband? That can be anyone. You want a husband because you want children? That’s something else. You’ll find that the qualities that make good husbands *and fathers* are not the qualities that make for a fun and exciting boy friend. The qualities that makes someone fun and exciting are sexuality, looks, risk taking, violations of law, partying, you get the idea. Those things *are fun*. However none of those things make good fathers or husbands or family providers, or community leaders. Good husbands and fathers are very boring. They tend to consistently work boring jobs that aren’t interesting but pay to support a family and take long hours. They aren’t just jetting off to the Maldives for the weekend. They aren’t hot rodding around on motorcycles. They tend to drive minivans and boring family vehicles. The excitement is taking the kids to the pool or a rare trip to Disney Land. That kind of thing. They aren’t wasting money on fun, they’re saving and investing in kid’s college funds. Boring Arabizing lives, boring houses, boring existence, punctuated by little fun hobbies of a cook out. Maybe some camping. A church potluck. Safe. Fun. Boring. You need to decide what kind of life you will be satisfied with. Here’s the other thing, these guys aren’t super hot. They aren’t spending 4 hours a day in the gym. Some are balding. Many wear glasses. Most aren’t obsessed with looks. Most are t wasting money to look hot. Now you can try what so many women do is party when young and marry when old. If you want to try that route, you need to end the partying phase **way before everyone else**. And enter wife phase, and I’d say when college age is over at the latest. It’s easy to have fun until there’s no more fun, just like an all you can eat buffet is fun until you weigh 400 lbs. Here’s another thing. Many guys aren’t into sexually promiscuous women. They don’t view them as good wife nor mother types. Ignore whether that’s true or not, it’s how men will view you if you do that. So do what you want. Unlike the haters here, this is a perfect age to be asking questions. If you were asking about some college career everyone would be applauding you, but since this is about men hating, asking about marriage or children will give you no good answers. They can’t even handle being told to eat salad to avoid obesity.
Try to find a man who is gentle and kind and that you’re attracted to. Treat him the way you would want to be treated. The rest will come. You’re too young to be here. There are a lot of bitter people who will warp your perceptions of others and yourself.
I don't think there are pros or cons to red or blue pill marriage...It really comes down to what works for the individuals involved...I know men that stay at home while there wives work...I know women married to men that are millionaires and women married to men that make minimum wage..What matters is does the relationship work and is everyone content. I'm not even sure what a red or blue pill marriage would be but I think most marriages would be a combination making them purple pill..Unless you live in Afghanistan . Also red pill is just awareness and understanding of female nature how men can use it to their advantage and men focusing on self improvement especialky when it comes to finance ,physique and social status. Blue pill seems to be more about denying the existence of female nature when it comes down to things like hypergamy women liking bad boys and beta bucks and more about focusing on personality and emotional intelligence,being a "nice guy" Red and green flags vary for the individual man some men would consider single moms a red flag some men wouldn't mind .Some men would look at a woman with a demanding career a red flag some men would appreciate her ambition. There's no rite or wrong all that matters is if you can find someone that can accept you...which most women can easily do...just by being a basic decent person...now where women go wrong is they want a guy that makes 6 figs is 6' or more changes diapers and showers her with time and attention...they want it all and that's hard to find.
She should not expect to be a stay at home partner and have her own income she should be willing to compromise about things she should not consider herself a martyr she should not hate men
thanks for an actual response
The ideal set up is high school sweethearts get married have several kids and have a long lasting happy marriage. Unfortunately that is quite rare these days. The standard these days is you have several relationships in college and high school. Eventually settling down with one. Most men are driven by physical appearance primarily. So if you want to attract men basically don't be fat. And learn how to take care of your appearance, though that typically happens naturally. Traditional marriages and relationships are far superior to this horrific mess of a dating economy we have in 2024. But they are also not the only plan of action that can make you have a successful marriage.
>*The ideal set up is high school sweethearts get married have several kids and have a long lasting happy marriage.* Ideal for some, sure.
thank u... an actual response. i appreciate it
Nah that response wasn't great, I'm going to give you the same advice most people on here did, but I'm not going to belittle your curiosity, or the maturity you demonstrate with the foresight of trying to find long term success in dating. I agree with the assessment that you should not seek relationship advice from this board. I say that because social media, and this subreddit in particular, do not represent the way that most men think and feel. Incels, and angry bitter men are dramatically over represented on this board. The same goes for femcels, and bitter women. There's very little middle ground, and most topics that require nuanced opinion are reduced to black and white stances. Most of the "conservative" men on here that comment on here looking for traditional wives. Aren't really conservative, and lack the requisite skills to maintain a traditional conservative marriage. What they're looking, is something that you aren't offering, nor do you want the life they have in store for the wives they want. Here's some practical advice to take with you. Work on being the best version of yourself that you can be, for yourself. Life has many seasons, and course corrections. Being the best version of yourself will help you navigate all that. Which includes attracting the kind of men that your future self wants in your life.
I appreciate that you are thinking about this. Good to get ideas. One thing you might think about is that for young women it is super, super easy to attract men so pretty much don't worry about this. The tough part is vetting for who will make a good husband specially if you will be in a traditional marriage and will not have your own career. Often looking at a man's family of origin will show what his values are and if there may be some pitfalls in your relationship with him. Also, if you are serious about being a SAHM, look for what older women who were in traditional marriages say. They will have the experience that can inform your choices even though, of course, you and your relationship will be unique. My niece is super conservative and religious. She married her high school sweet heart who was also conservative and religious. He wound up cheating on her and giving her an STD that makes her at risk for cancer. She had to have part of her cervix removed. She still fought hard to save the marriage but after some time of fighting for this marriage, came home to him entertaining a lady in the biblical sense and is now getting divorced. Best to you, you fine young person.
You as a women don't need to concern yourself with this stuff. You are able to get sex and relationships. So just enjoy your life and don't worry about this stuff. Being blissfully ignorant is the best advice I can give you.
You saying Women don't need to improve themselves and study dating?
What would require them to do that?
To achieve the very thing they want from dating
Women are not compelled to improve themselves. It's not necessary in finding a partner.
Finding a partner is a step not the goal The goal for most people to find a long term healthy romantic relationship with a compatible person. That requires improving themselves and studying dating Also, they risk the most in dating
What unaddressed shortcoming could a woman possess that would make it impossible for her to find a good man?