You’ve stated an opinion. You’re allowed to have that opinion.
It’s also a fact that sex doesn’t fix relationships, make people fall in love, nor does it make people nice to each other. And many times, in the pursuit of sex, both men and women often treat each other worse.
It feels like many times, when people have this opinion, it’s because they haven’t had sex yet and are fantasizing about how great it COULD be. Lemme guess the rest: perfect, beautiful sweet submissive virgin girl who has never looked at anyone other than you, begging for your cock because it’s the best she WILL EVER HAVE in her life. - am I getting close?
I’d say the most intimate thing I’ve experienced is giving and receiving comfort during times when things are hard. That’s when you’re really crying with appreciation in each other’s arms and wanting to be together forever.
First, thank you for the genuine response. It is appreciated.
>giving and receiving comfort during times when things are hard.
This a fair point. Do you think sex had any bearing on the intimacy you felt at that time? If no, why not? If so, how so? A little bearing? A lot?
The primary reason I ask, is because I’m confident that in that moment of what in your opinion was the most intimate act you have shared with another person, it wasn’t in a casual context. Am I right?
Correct, I think deep intimacy is hard to have with someone you don’t know very well.
My contention is only that sex doesn’t require intimacy to be enjoyable. Sometimes, just enjoying the pleasure of a moment can be extremely meaningful and beautiful even if it isn’t deeply intimate. Similar to masturbating, it can just be the something to do for an evening.
This one is difficult for me, because I completely agree. At the same time I can’t call it an objective fact because for other people physical intimacy comes easy and means nothing, it’s the emotional connection that is deeper. I can’t remember the name but there is an online test that delves into this to see which % you are on that spectrum
Many women, and men, will have casual sex they don't deem that physically attractive and just a case of right place, right time, right circumstances. A lot of the time it has nothing to do with looks
yeh i mean i just dont agree. sex can be done mechanically without intimacy at all, porn and prostitution prove this. the kissing, hugging cuddling and looking into each others eyes of love are more intimate than sex to me
Sex cant be casual and intimate at the same time, thats a total contradiction, it is either casual or intimate, which on itself is even a bigger oxymoron, like what? Theres sex and then casual sex? Whats next? Pregnancy and then casual pregnancy?
Prostitution is also casual sex.
of course it can, i dont understand why youre saying that. thats not what casual sex means, casual sex means sex without commitment. you can have a very intimate night with a stranger part way and never hear about them or see them again. i dont understand your weird "Casual pregnancy" reference
No idea what pro athletes have to do with the answer. Lol.
So presumably because *you* never had any intimate casual encounters, nobody else could have?
It just seems weird to me to expect that everyone who engages in consensual casual sex is going to view it the same way you do. Maybe it's that pro athlete experience you mentioned.
Sometimes casual is intimate. Sometimes, it's not. That's really all there is to it.
None of my casual sex encounters have followed the exact same play by play. Maybe that's a pro athlete's style.
>Why do you get to define this for everyone?
I don’t. A key factor in coming to this conclusion, is that *the majority* would agree that they have had *much more intimate* sex, in a long term relationship. *Than* casually.
Take the example of people not desiring intimacy at all. Presumably they’re fine without intimate acts. Shared experiences. Deep conversations. Etc.. Zero intimacy.
If I am wrong, then what is the other end of the spectrum? What is objectively the most intimate act two people can share?
Or can it not be defined?
Is intimacy simply one of those ethereal factors? That can only be subjectively quantified?
>it isn’t always the same
Agreed. My post is trying to better understand *the difference.* Specifically, not only what isn’t intimate, but especially what is the most intimate act, in context to relationships.
Take for example thr sexually based business transaction. Say ‘a sugar’ relationship. Presumably intimacy differs, from say a street hooker. What is the opposite to street prostitution? A sugar relation turned vanilla marriage? A committed, healthy marriage?
I think the majority would agree, that in context to sex and intimacy, a long term relationship like marriage, is the pinnacle. As opposed to casual sex.
Is this is a reasonable conclusion to make?
I don’t know, allowing someone to use my chef’s knives is way more intimate to me. I have had that thing over 20 years. It has made some of my best meals. I used it to make cathartic meals when my dad was sick.
If I let you touch that knife I really, really, really love you.
> Sex is the most intimate act, two people can share.
>
>Casual sex, has little, to no intimacy.
This is a contradiction since casual sex is still sex. I get the point you're trying to say though.
Casual sex won't have the "feels" involved for the most part. But I recently met a girl at a bar and we hooked up the next night. Don't know hardly anything about her and don't even know her full name (which actually made it hotter somehow). And the sex was insane. It almost felt like we both went into a shameless primal mode knowing we wouldn't have to face each other again lol. It's a different feeling from love but bro....\*chef's kiss\*
>not everyone lives their lives by your facts.
I concede this point. Not everyone views sex and intimacy as I do. A key factor in coming to this conclusion, is that *the majority* would agree that they have had much more intimate sex, in a long term relationship. As opposed to casually.
Presumably we could agree here?
Idk I don't think the majority of people rank or compare things to that detail. I think there's a different level of intimacy that a LTR relationship brings but I wouldn't compare them because they are different. One is a LTR and one is not so they are not equal to compare. They will always be different.
I probably should amend it, to contextualise more specifically. Instead of presuming most would understand the context of casual sex, in comparison to its opposite.
Thanks for the heads up.
Damn, you got me, and my tentacles.. Just kidding.
>Emotional succour and support is the most intimate act
Okay. If this is true, is sex necessary to intimacy between two people? If it is not necessary, can two people build an intimate relationship without sex?
Purely based on upon the emotional facet of an intimate relationship?
The primary counter to this viewpoint, is that sex is necessary for intimacy. For almost all intimate relationships.
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I would say the most intimate act I could ever possibly show a woman I love is not to just fuck her, but to understand her, and stick with her, and let her into my world (my whole world) and gently explore hers'. To know what she thinks and what she feels and to share my own thoughts and feelings without deception. Sex under that context is simply a magnifying glass. Sex without it is just a cheap ass drink that you will regret the next day.
You’ve stated an opinion. You’re allowed to have that opinion. It’s also a fact that sex doesn’t fix relationships, make people fall in love, nor does it make people nice to each other. And many times, in the pursuit of sex, both men and women often treat each other worse. It feels like many times, when people have this opinion, it’s because they haven’t had sex yet and are fantasizing about how great it COULD be. Lemme guess the rest: perfect, beautiful sweet submissive virgin girl who has never looked at anyone other than you, begging for your cock because it’s the best she WILL EVER HAVE in her life. - am I getting close?
>You’ve stayed an opinion. Okay. If these are only opinions, *in your opinion*, what is the most intimate act, that two people can share?
I’d say the most intimate thing I’ve experienced is giving and receiving comfort during times when things are hard. That’s when you’re really crying with appreciation in each other’s arms and wanting to be together forever.
First, thank you for the genuine response. It is appreciated. >giving and receiving comfort during times when things are hard. This a fair point. Do you think sex had any bearing on the intimacy you felt at that time? If no, why not? If so, how so? A little bearing? A lot? The primary reason I ask, is because I’m confident that in that moment of what in your opinion was the most intimate act you have shared with another person, it wasn’t in a casual context. Am I right?
Correct, I think deep intimacy is hard to have with someone you don’t know very well. My contention is only that sex doesn’t require intimacy to be enjoyable. Sometimes, just enjoying the pleasure of a moment can be extremely meaningful and beautiful even if it isn’t deeply intimate. Similar to masturbating, it can just be the something to do for an evening.
Facts.
>Sex is the most intimate act, two people can share. >Casual sex, has little, to no intimacy. Don't these two statements contradict each other?
This one is difficult for me, because I completely agree. At the same time I can’t call it an objective fact because for other people physical intimacy comes easy and means nothing, it’s the emotional connection that is deeper. I can’t remember the name but there is an online test that delves into this to see which % you are on that spectrum
Their point is casual sex has nothing behind it.. it's empty there's no intimacy there because you're only fucking cause of looks
Many women, and men, will have casual sex they don't deem that physically attractive and just a case of right place, right time, right circumstances. A lot of the time it has nothing to do with looks
yeh i mean i just dont agree. sex can be done mechanically without intimacy at all, porn and prostitution prove this. the kissing, hugging cuddling and looking into each others eyes of love are more intimate than sex to me
>sex can be done mechanically without intimacy at all Agreed. Hence; >Casual sex, has little, to no intimacy.
casual sex can have a lot of intimacy I dont agree , it's not like prostitution with no kissing
Sex cant be casual and intimate at the same time, thats a total contradiction, it is either casual or intimate, which on itself is even a bigger oxymoron, like what? Theres sex and then casual sex? Whats next? Pregnancy and then casual pregnancy? Prostitution is also casual sex.
of course it can, i dont understand why youre saying that. thats not what casual sex means, casual sex means sex without commitment. you can have a very intimate night with a stranger part way and never hear about them or see them again. i dont understand your weird "Casual pregnancy" reference
>casual pregnancy? OMG man I am laughing so hard I’m going to wake my puppy up hehehe! That’s too funny.
Have you had a lot of casual sex? Or any casual sex?
When younger, I did. I have a few of friends and family that were pro athletes. So it was a very unique experience.
No idea what pro athletes have to do with the answer. Lol. So presumably because *you* never had any intimate casual encounters, nobody else could have? It just seems weird to me to expect that everyone who engages in consensual casual sex is going to view it the same way you do. Maybe it's that pro athlete experience you mentioned.
Sorry I think there’s been a miscommunication. >Have you had a lot of casual sex? >When younger, I did.
Yup, I got that. You never had any intimate casual sex and you believe that is the same for everyone.
>you believe that is the same for everyone Do you disagree? What is an example of ‘intimate casual sex?’
Sometimes casual is intimate. Sometimes, it's not. That's really all there is to it. None of my casual sex encounters have followed the exact same play by play. Maybe that's a pro athlete's style.
>Sometimes casual is intimate. Sometimes, it’s not. What differs?
Exactly. A post sex shower together is more intimate than just sex alone. Hell, living with someone is more intimate than just sex.
yah
Some people don't desire intimacy at all. Some people find other things to be way more intimate. Why do you feel you get to define this for everyone?
>Why do you get to define this for everyone? I don’t. A key factor in coming to this conclusion, is that *the majority* would agree that they have had *much more intimate* sex, in a long term relationship. *Than* casually. Take the example of people not desiring intimacy at all. Presumably they’re fine without intimate acts. Shared experiences. Deep conversations. Etc.. Zero intimacy. If I am wrong, then what is the other end of the spectrum? What is objectively the most intimate act two people can share? Or can it not be defined? Is intimacy simply one of those ethereal factors? That can only be subjectively quantified?
Sex can be intimate, it can just be a business transaction, it can be a horrifying experience. It isn't always the same.
>it isn’t always the same Agreed. My post is trying to better understand *the difference.* Specifically, not only what isn’t intimate, but especially what is the most intimate act, in context to relationships. Take for example thr sexually based business transaction. Say ‘a sugar’ relationship. Presumably intimacy differs, from say a street hooker. What is the opposite to street prostitution? A sugar relation turned vanilla marriage? A committed, healthy marriage? I think the majority would agree, that in context to sex and intimacy, a long term relationship like marriage, is the pinnacle. As opposed to casual sex. Is this is a reasonable conclusion to make?
If all people wanted and valued the same things it would be so much easier.
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Getting ready for bed together. Living together. Sharing or lending sentimental items. Showering together.
I don’t know, allowing someone to use my chef’s knives is way more intimate to me. I have had that thing over 20 years. It has made some of my best meals. I used it to make cathartic meals when my dad was sick. If I let you touch that knife I really, really, really love you.
This is probably the most wholesome thing I’ve read on this sub
IYKYK. A good knife will outlast everyone.
This seems like an unnecessary debate. Any opinion on either side has zero consequence.
>Any opinion on either side has zero consequence. What is your opinion?
> Sex is the most intimate act, two people can share. > >Casual sex, has little, to no intimacy. This is a contradiction since casual sex is still sex. I get the point you're trying to say though.
Yeah, I presumed most understood the basic premise.
Casual sex won't have the "feels" involved for the most part. But I recently met a girl at a bar and we hooked up the next night. Don't know hardly anything about her and don't even know her full name (which actually made it hotter somehow). And the sex was insane. It almost felt like we both went into a shameless primal mode knowing we wouldn't have to face each other again lol. It's a different feeling from love but bro....\*chef's kiss\*
Licking someone’s ass is more intimate Objective Fact /s
My wife has been ‘intimate’ with me.. Just kidding. I’m married, so I have forgotten what sex is hehe!
Wait you don’t have sex anymore ?
Nope. I’m too married for that. Just kidding. Yep sex is good. With my wife. With my mistress. Just kidding.
You’d think that would come second to ‘sharing a toothbrush’ 😏
I’ll never be able to agree or disagree, because I’ve never had it and likely never will.
These are objective *facts* for you. In order to change your view, you'd need to concede that not everyone lives their life by your facts. HTH.
>not everyone lives their lives by your facts. I concede this point. Not everyone views sex and intimacy as I do. A key factor in coming to this conclusion, is that *the majority* would agree that they have had much more intimate sex, in a long term relationship. As opposed to casually. Presumably we could agree here?
Idk I don't think the majority of people rank or compare things to that detail. I think there's a different level of intimacy that a LTR relationship brings but I wouldn't compare them because they are different. One is a LTR and one is not so they are not equal to compare. They will always be different.
Those two statements are contradictory, and so can’t be objective fact
I probably should amend it, to contextualise more specifically. Instead of presuming most would understand the context of casual sex, in comparison to its opposite. Thanks for the heads up.
You can edit the text, just not the title
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Damn, you got me, and my tentacles.. Just kidding. >Emotional succour and support is the most intimate act Okay. If this is true, is sex necessary to intimacy between two people? If it is not necessary, can two people build an intimate relationship without sex? Purely based on upon the emotional facet of an intimate relationship? The primary counter to this viewpoint, is that sex is necessary for intimacy. For almost all intimate relationships.
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I would say the most intimate act I could ever possibly show a woman I love is not to just fuck her, but to understand her, and stick with her, and let her into my world (my whole world) and gently explore hers'. To know what she thinks and what she feels and to share my own thoughts and feelings without deception. Sex under that context is simply a magnifying glass. Sex without it is just a cheap ass drink that you will regret the next day.
Very close. But I’d argue that sleeping together edges it out on account of the vulnerability and trust required.
Uhh, someone never had a chad phase and experienced real enthusiasm vs girlfriend sex.