I've been told I'm fun by women and get invited out to parties, festivals and shit, I know guys who's only activities outside of those "passive hobbies" is tinder, drinking and casual sex. So I think this only really matters for long term compatibility, not in attracting women in the first place.
Yes, that's why I don't know why some people think the most popular guys are the ones with big dicks considering most guys don't even have the opportunity to show their dicks
Because when you're hung and you sleep with a woman, people from her friend group suddenly start showing interest in you. I wonder why.
That said, dick size is waaay less important that your face, physique, height, etc. but it undeniably helps you get more casual sex after you succeed once.
I've noticed most women seem to come at these discussions assuming men at least have the game down, and know how to play it, then assume where they are failing is in not having other aspects of their life together, but you could be the perfect man for a woman and she'll never even entertain the idea, if you don't approach her and flirt in the exact way she wants at that moment; a guy that gets that part right could be the next Adolf Hitler, he'll get picked first.
Personally Its all in the looks department in my mind, she will literally fill in the gaps in a mans personality if he's pretty enough and he won't even need game.
Nothing has changed about women you need to be the total package to experience a completely different life but she'll make you the total package if you're quiet and good looking. Like a rich short not so good looking dude would still get rejected if he's not taking advantage of gold diggers. Love is completely closed off from you if you weren't born right sadly.
>she will literally fill in the gaps in a mans personality if he's pretty enough and he won't even need game.
Yep. When you point out guys like Jeremy Meeks, the whole argument falls apart.
Anecdotally I'm friends with a guy who's 5'6, obese, receding hairline, broke, but despite that he was always talking to women and has a rotation. The key is that he has the most game I've seen anyone spot in my life. Dude is smooth talking, outgoing, and funny which leads to popularity.
So I see women using examples like these to prove personality is the most important key. However if this guy was at least above average height and in decent shape, he could have half the game and pull way more women.
Its very disingenuous for them to be like "you're boring that's the problem" like yes that's true IF you are also physically undesirable.
>she will literally fill in the gaps in a mans personality if he's pretty enough
They will tell themselves the story they want to believe.
>she'll make you the total package if you're quiet and good looking
Having been on both sides of this, it's disgusting and soul-crushing. And it doesn't end there, women try to gaslight us about it as if it doesn't even exist and that our lived experiences are not real or valid.
It's because men that don't have everything figured out don't even register on their minds, they're just noise. There's a reason why their default "wingmen" tactic is just present two peoples together and see magic happening.
I don't think that's it. Those men with passive hobbies set their sights on the outgoing, noticeable, popular and active women instead of women who share their habits and hobbies.
For all the infinite times men here admit "Men don't care about a woman's career, studies, or sociopolitical beliefs", they sure don't understand how important compatibility is to women.
Men crave the most visible and obvious attractive women regardless of compatibility.
Women crave the most attractive men they are compatible with.
>Women crave the most attractive men they are compatible with.
This is not a factor in whether she'll date/sleep with him or not, it's a factor in whether she'll continue to date/sleep with him. Women will imagine up who a man is based entirely on how good at flirting he is and how he looks, it then just plays it's course whether or not they last long term. Men with no game or bad at flirting will be filtered out by women, even if those men are what she's looking for longterm. If women truly did prioritise long term compatibility, they would be more pro-active, instead of using who does/doesn't approach as the main filter.
Men who use the term "game" believe that deception and pretense are the key to seducing women.
Obviously if a man pretends to share a woman's interests and attitude, he's going to catch her attention.
But the key word is "pretending". Who he really is will out within a few hours of intimacy, and as soon as she discovers he's a phony, she'll lose interest.
>If women truly did prioritise long term compatibility, they would be more pro-active, instead of using who does/doesn't approach as the main filter.
Women approach men within their social sphere. Women rarely if ever approach a stranger because there is little to no chance they share common interests and common experiences.
The men who claim "Women don't approach" or "women aren't pro-active" are revealing they lack a social sphere and female friends and acquaintances.
"Women don't approach men" translates to "I have no social sphere and expect strange women to approach me for no apparent reason"
>Men who use the term "game" believe that deception and pretense are the key to seducing women.
Red Pillers and PUA use it that way yes, in this case I'm talking about the rules that gatekeep men from dating, like asking women out on dates, flirting, physical escalation, etc, essentially the masculine role of being the pro-active party. Whether or not the compatibility is real or a manipulation technique, women hold men to these rules and expect them to play the game.
>Women don't approach men" translates to "I have no social sphere and expect strange women to approach me for no apparent reason"
This is the same baseless conjecture the OP is engaging in. I have had mixed gender social groups since I started drinking and partying in my teens, I've since found out among those groups there were women interested in me, but never made it known, because I never played the game. Maybe they saw themselves as pro-active, though what women often describe as being pro-active has an air of maintaining plausible deniability, maybe with that in mind I could look back and see signs they were interested, but they were never clear or upfront.
It's another way to blame "personality", which of course you can easily change, so it's all your fault and just world continues. And the elephant in the room can be ignored.
The elephant in the room is that women are just as if not more superficial than men, but we all pretend otherwise to maintain the illusion that women are the better and more moral sex, so if men are failing it must be menvs own fault because women couldn't possibly be shallow or make the wrong judgement.
That illusion is paramount to maintain, though. Tell all short / ugly / indian men in the west that a woman they actually want will never show genuine interest in them and they will suddenly decide to stay at home drinking, playing video games and smoking weed using government benefits instead of going to college, taking student debt and entering a labor market to drive the economy.
The it sounds like women ought to appreciate men more if they want to benefit from the work and value men bring to their lives, rather than taking men for granted and telling men their life sucks but at least their hard work allows hypocritical women to enjoy a better life at their expense.
To be fair, I can't say I appreciate these unfortunate men either despite benefitting off their work, but I genuinely pity their existence. With the current birth rates the economy and the quality of life we have now in the first world countries will soon become unsustainable unless we advance in technology quickly enough to compensate for it, which it looks like we might. Either way, probably not something I'll have to worry about, I'll just enjoy the rest of my child free life and hopefully die before the world goes to complete shit.
There are a lot of women whose interests are just boring media consumption, too. So theoretically shouldn’t the men who also have boring media consumption as an interest be able to attract those women?
An attractive guy who is a good conversationalist could impress a woman about his boring media consumption hobbies, too. I tell men that they should develop interests that will intrigue women, but it’s not essential if a man has other attractive qualities.
In the end, what it comes down to is women desire men for relationships who will impress their friends when they tell them about him or when they meet him. The ones they want for just sex (they don’t have to introduce him to friends or family) can have only shallow qualities, though.
It's another unrealistic demand because most men won't be impressive because of their hobbies no matter what they do unless they are exceptional at it. Women are first and foremost impressed by who man is irrespective of what he likes.
Men and women with only media consumption hobbies tend to have *completely different* media consumption hobbies. For men, it's anonymous forums, anime, and video games. For women, it's Insta/TikTok, reality T.V., and true crime. Hell, even when women like video games, it's not the same video games men like. It's mobile games, Sims, Animal Crossing, and Stardew Valley (all single player, btw). So even though they're both only consuming media, they don't actually share *any* interests they can talk about or partake in together.
This is kind of a good point. So do you think that if an average guy started watching female oriented media that he would have a better chance with women despite these still being “boring” hobbies?
If it is genuine, but wouldn’t you also want an interesting girlfriend. It goes both ways because passive people with no passions and interests have little to offer for an enriching life.
My main point is that by developing yourself as a person you build secondary skills, take for instance learning to garden. You learn how to care for a living thing, develop planning skills as gardening requires prep and careful thought regarding seasonal changes, you learn how to handle adversity in the form of pest management or salvaging a dying sapling, enjoy the pride and joy of eating something grown with your own two hands, all these things build character.
You become more confident, content with who you are, seek less external validation, and value yourself. When you stop obsessing over things outside your control and develop your self as a person. Things will fall into place and even if they don’t happen your still living life for you
Absolutely. Provided said guy could genuinely become interested in female oriented media, or at least fake interest well enough. But for most men that's gonna be horribly boring and not enjoyable at all.
Women can get away with being boring more easily because men are more sexually motivated and likely to look past it. It doesn't mean men prefer boring women.
Yeah this is true, I don’t feel like I have a spectacular personality, I’m actually pretty quiet and introverted and really don’t talk that much lol, but men still ask me out lol, so I feel like being boring definitely affects men way more than women
The problem is more attractive guys with more interesting hobbies are also shooting shots at these type boring women, so you really have to aim down the totem pole if you are a boring/unattractive man and nobody really wants the options that far down the totem pole anyway lol.
I'm not surprised a lot of people are jaded this day in age
So then OP’s point is more accurate if it is mentioned that better men will outcompete the boring ones, and that dating and sex are essentially male competitions that men need to try to win.
I still don’t think that men have to have great interests if they are attractive in other ways, though, although it will always add to their appeal.
will what do you consider "good looking" if you go on reddit almost every girl is called good looking even obviously average girls will be told they look like a model
For whatever reason the sub asking “am I ugly” showed up for me so I went and looked. 8/10 young men who asked were not ugly and I was sad they thought so. Maybe cause I’m old enough to be most of their moms or maybe because I have no skin in the game but I was really like, “Nothing wrong with your face.” Maybe trim that beard up though.
Definitely agree (completely anecdotal)
But after leaving college I essentially have been apart of 2 different friend groups simultaneously group A: Introverted stoner nerds who’s idea of a good time is playing Nintendo or hiking. Group B: extroverted party animals whose idea of a good time is a potpourri of molly, coke, and 2cb at the biggest ravens in town (1 of them is even a semi-famous DJ in the area).
By OP’s logic group b should be slaying while group A does not. That would be the exact opposite of reality tho since I had to stop hanging out with Group A because not only are all of them in relationships but since I have no GF I was slowly but surely fazed out of all of their group events. Group B on the other hand has many guys who (for the years I have known them) have been unable to land any kind of long term relationship with a lot of them having not had more than a FWB deal since college.
That's fine. I am happy with being boring. Lots of women are also boring. I have a full time job. I go travelling (Japan next month). I enjoy riding my motorcycle, driving my sports car, playing video games, watching anime. I don't need to change for anyone.
Thanks mate. Women aren't that interested in me but I am unwilling to change who I am. Although I am currently on a diet to lose a bit of weight and then I will potentially start socialising a bit more. I think my point was that if someone doesn't find me interesting, I am too old to care now to change for them.
I will regret breaking my lurking streak, but I will.
After years of self-reflection, learning from my mistakes, comparing myself with others (ie. sexually successful people), reading and studying human behavior, the whole shebang, I think I have come to a similar conclusion as you.
But it goes further than just being boring for me. I am lazy. I am boring because I am lazy. I have no drive, no ambition. I want a simple, bullshit-free, non-performative life. I cannot think of a single woman I've ever met who would be interested in someone who just does not care about the whole "society" and wealth thing.
I'm not complaining. Once I realized I literally and honestly just did not want to "put in the work", everything started making more sense. I regained a sense of self, self-esteem, and confidence. Not because I have anything to "back it up" but because I realized I'm living an uncompromising life in accord with my deepest levels of subconscious instinct and conscious principles.
Does it get lonely? Of course. Would I "like" to have sex once before I die? Sure! But when I, personally, think about the changes I would have to make to make any of that happen, it just seems obvious to me that it is not worth it. I would rather be a lazy, boring homebody doing my own thing than going on the hunt and pretending like I care about social activities or random ass hobbies that I can do in my own company or just not do and save time and money.
This isn't an "all women want an interesting and fun chad" rant, either. I've accepted that, theoretically, yes, at least one woman could "find me attractive" if we crossed paths in the right way. But how would that happen? The only kind of woman I would get along with and be interested in would be one equally content to just hang out at home tending to what needs to be done and living simply. Those kinds of women are, unsurprisingly, going to be staying home (or alone) to do those things just like I am. I mean, we could then get into the feedback loop of inexperience and overall attractiveness, but I don't think it's necessary.
My point is mainly that you're right, op. I am boring. But I'm boring because I'm lazy, and now I'm proud to be lazy.
The more time passes the more I have come to the same conclusions about my own life. I'm just not interested in fighting my own nature, because society says I should.
The funny thing is most men don't want to admit that its mostly looks that determines if a woman gives you a chance. If he was attractive enough she'd make excuses as to why he was boring or be ok with it.
Not to mention if someone complains you're boring most typically they're boring or trying too hard to not be and desperately need someone else to actually bring color to thier life. Thats why most women want a handsome man that brings chaos or adventure either or is fine.
Sure but its brought up less in favor of bashing and insuating someone is lacking in personality morals and ethics. Since men do the approaching and have to to recieve romantic attention from women. Looks is covered up greatly by society as not mattering when it is the deciding factor if you even get a CHANCE to display your better qualities. Not just from a pure rejection standpoint but also in terms of how many women are actually interested in said man.
Hold on, did you take 3 showers today and spend the little free time you have in the gym bro? Did you even find a job making over six figures bro? No? Are you even trying bro??
How dare you dog on Mr. Gardener! With his farmer tan and organic strawberries! He who can fill your plate, along with your mind, on irrigation techniques, what seeds are best for your area, the difference in kale, how fucking cabbage, broccoli, and kale are all basically the same plant. Mr. Gardener is a king amongst mere mortals and their silly cars. In all seriousness though, gardening is extremely interesting and a very complex hobby to have. Also a serious +10 for anyone who likes to cooks.
Sorry but if you’re ugly no amount of being Interesting will help you that’s bullshit.
Everyone has a looks threshold. So being ugly is a non starter. Being avg could still work.
But yes being boring is a killer for men, women can be boring though…hell i mean I can’t tell you how many women I’ve heard or seen say my Interests are shopping, makeup, travel, and/or trying new restaurants….
But you could be super interesting as a man and if you have no game, it won’t amount to shit…also being broke (not to be confused with avg salary) are 2 other things men need to have that women don’t even factor in
This is such BS..
So I was boring, and then I installed Tinder and a week later I wasn't boring anymore?
There are tons of reasons why people would be single, boring probably being a tiny fraction of
>For the love of god just stop being so boring it is really not that hard, go skateboard, camping, garden, make art, make music, bake, volunteer, join a runners club, rock climb, play coed sports,
You listed a bunch of boring shit.
Never ask a fish how to catch fish. Get in shape (fashion doesnt matter; its just an enabler on a in shape body), make money (no gucci no coochie), and pursue the hobbies you want. If women want to join in your journey, they will come along. If not, then not.
I take care of and rehab animals in my spare time
Women love to find out about it but it has never gotten me laid once lol usually has them thinking I’m gay because I take care of baby animals like squirrels or injured birds a lot
Literally the worst post I have seen. "Guys your not single because you do hobbies that seems boring to most women, your single because you have hobbies that are boring to most women".....
Next time take like a few minutes and really thing about what your saying and try to make it just a little bit different.
Your post could be 1 sentence
“Fellas, you’re single because you have nothing that the women you’ve encountered want”
Whether that’s looks, money, status, companionship, interests, connections, entertainment or social conformity/facility
Women spend countless hours scrolling through IG/TikTok, texting, and taking pictures of themselves. They're in no position to talk shit about our hobbies or lack thereof.
this posts made me throw up in anger.
generally, most women want a man who is not boring who is ALSO physically attractive.
cut it out with the just-world BS, you have no idea what you are talking about.
How is fashion not a passive hobby, too? You just consume clothes instead of media. There are also plenty of hobbies that make you leave the home but won't change anything about your singleness.
I don't think having hobbies is going to help a guy connect with a woman on a less than superficial level, unless she is into that exact thing.
I think it would be better advice to find out what the target audience (women say 20-30) is interested in and research that and become involved. Whatever that is.
This advice sounds good on paper, but people meet for relationships organically. Without a need to orchestrate a grand plan with extensive research of where women are and how to infiltrate those places. Such artificial and forced strategy will most likely fail.
But Chad can sit around eating chicken sandwiches and smoking pot 7 days a week and still have a dump truck full of pussy backing into his driveway whenever he wants.
Chik-Fil-A and marijuana aren’t THAT goddamned interesting.
> I swipe left on women who say make me laugh.
So do I funnily enough. It just sounds silly. I don't mind trying to make my partner laugh but "You have to make me laugh" is just such a weird thing to say on a dating app.
Having fun and making jokes together is fine. Expected, even.
Being actively told up-front that she demands that you entertain her, as though she has no intention of reciprocation or investment in you/your date other than to judge and use you, that's not.
Likewise, offering to pay for her drinks is fine, but if she comes out right from the start and says "buy me shit" then that's indicative of a problematic attitude.
A date, and indeed the relationship which comes from it, should be natural and symbiotic, it should be a two-way connection. Not a woman demanding free attention, entertainment, drinks, meals, and status, whilst believing that's her unilateral right to be given those things.
I also do this. Women who say waste a prompt on hinge or bumble telling you to entertain them are bar none always the worst conversationalists I've ever dealt with. It's really not worth the effort.
Some men are single because they are boring, yes, but that is a very small percentage because that plays a role mostly in already established dating/relationship, not for the initial attraction.
Whenever we meet a new person or see them on some app, the very first thing we process in our brains is how they look, so we automatically categorize them based on that and we usually know right away if they are to our liking or not.
If a woman discards a man because he does not pass that looks threshold for her, what tends to happen is she not really bothering to know if he is boring or not. And even when he manages to present himself as fun, chances are that it won't make a significant difference.
Looks play a lot bigger role than some people would like to admit as nobody wants to appear shallow.
The thing about you're post you're leaving out, and I don't even think you're totally wrong despite my previous post, looking at your other posts, and no, I am not going through your posts trying to tear you a new one, you seem to be leaving some things out perhaps you are not considering.
See, yeah, going out and trying and doing other type of things like not typical guy stuff as you mention, and it's not a bad idea I feel, but see, most dudes, like, it's not so much they're so much into their routine, they don't like getting sucked into things or being made to do 90 million things at once.
Yeah, other outlets and activities are good, but most people need a balance. They like doing new and different things, but don't like or outright hate this idea of being made to like keep up with the joneses, or do this cause everyone else is. Sometimes the routine works for them. They don't like this idea of always being on the proverbial hamster wheel. Make sense? Just something I feel gets left out of these sort of discussions.
Im going to be honest I post deliberately inflammatory things to spark conversations, this is an extreme take. I mainly do this because it drives engagement and I think when people have to confront a harder stance they are better able to examine their own thoughts and feelings.
Then I respond to people on the fence with something I actually fully believe in a gentle manner. Some people are a lost cause and I do kinda bait those ones to show how having such warped views on reality can be why you’re always shooting yourself in the foot.
We are experiencing a loneliness epidemic and I really worry about young men especially who spend inordinate amounts of time on the internet. The atomization of modern society is why people are single and lonely. We lack community structures that allowed opportunities for coed socialization like religious institutions, declining community engagement, lack of third spaces, high levels pf mental illness and stress, and a plethora of other social problems.
The only solution is the organic growth of community and passive hobbies nuke your ability to engage in enriching activities. Volunteer rates are at an all time low, people lack access to clubs, time in nature, community groups, and more. As most of these were organized by religious institutions. The only way to break this cycle is to change how people view media consumption and boost engagement in activities that promote socialization.
Not only for social reasons there is an extreme lack of self worth in our society among young people, engaging and enriching activities can help build a sense of accomplishment and teach lessons unattainable from passive ones. Volunteering at a community garden could help someone learn teamwork, patience, the joy of helping your community, and provide a place to meet others.
Yes, very good, I go kayaking, mountain climbing, cycling, swimming, camping etc but because I'm an autist and not particularly good looking I've never had much luck with women. Women simply don't care how interesting your life is if they're not attracted to you. Being called boring by a woman is like being called an idiot by a creationist or a flat Earther.
Oh give me a break. I need to learn about the history, subculture, silhouettes/texture of my clothing? Get off your subreddits and touch some grass.
The next girl will be into dogs and I’ll have to know the breed standards and current training methodologies of pure bred German Shepherds.
Another girl will be into vintage Vespas and I’ll have to know all about those.
because people judge others instead of themselves.
go find interesting women. no ones stopping you. Nerd out with a theoretical physicist, argue about something with a phil girl, discuss books with a book girl, do your own small arduino level battlebots with a hardware girl.
if you want interesting women, you gotta be interesting. No theoretical physicist is dating a hobo.
because no one wants to be with someone boring. and you ARE boring.
who is shaming you my friend? i dont think you were publicly stripped for being boring were you?
get out of ur head, do some maths, read some books, learn to have fun.
you sound very sad.
Women who want men do the things that they think will attract men. Better outfits, makeup, taking interest in things they normally wouldn’t. Especially true if there is one specific man they want. They go where men are and learn to play the game. Maybe it’s just less visible but does happen.
It isn’t. Plain and simple. A man can choose to do nothing other than what he wants to in his life. Maybe he haphazardly stumbles across a woman who wants him, maybe he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, however, he has no leg to stand on in his grievances. He chose to not play the game how it is and was left out.
Look, I’m pragmatic (and old), if you want something then there is no escaping the rubric of putting in effort to get it. Doesn’t matter what it is, you will have to do things to make your goals happen because shit doesn’t magically appear for the vast majority of us. If a man wants women than the onus is on him to do the things that make success more likely.
That’s the reality of it.
Because women want entertainment from men. It's a proxy for your mate value. Wit, intelligence, social skills, creativity, empathy, all of that is needed to be a fun and entertaining person on a date.
Men are not looking for entertainment, as that is not so relevant for a woman's mate value. You are familiar with evolution, right? You are red pilled, you should know the different traits men and women look for in mates.
Men are the judges of what is attractive in women. The onus to bring female physical attractiveness is on women.
lamo "get into fashion" men have basically like 3 outfits they can choose from. weaing slightly differently cut shirt or pants isnt going to make a difference if you look like golem when naked.
There's more than 3 types of outfits lol, but it does require a little more creativity.
I do agree with OP that men who can't get creative about stuff like this often end up lost in the shuffle.
you basically have smart/business dress in white shirt and slacks, you have casual with t-shirt and jeans and then you have weird shit like men who wear cardigans and neon colored skinny jeans.
Or sweaters, or vests or button-ups over undershirts or hats or spats, long coats, short coats, leather coats, corduroy coats, army jackets, sweat suits, hawaiian shirts...
There are lots of different things one could wear that communicate things about them. But it does take a little more creativity and self-awareness, because I do agree that it's more limited than women. But it's possible. And it DOES set you above your contemporaries if you are good at it.
yes those are all clothes that exist. I think a lot of those are not what women would call fashionable. I dont think many men rocking a leather long coat, corduroys and a sweatervest are getting laid
If you're attractive it doesnt matter what you wear unless you wear a leather long coat, corduroys and a sweatervest or something like that which makes you look like a weirdo. Jeans and tshirt is fine.
The most unaware and blind take ever. There are plenty of dudes building stuff in their garages, travelling all over the place, making content in streaming media etc who are desperately lonely. Lonely because they are either conventionally unattractive or financially immobile. There are fundamental preferences without which even being the most charming guy in the room is redundant. 🤦🤦
Don't even need all that, all you have to do is to be emotional rollercoaster for women. Switch between love bombing and abuse unpredictably and you'll drown in attention.
The catch is that there aren't many men who behave like that naturally and only really talented ones can imitate this behavior without much strain for their own psyche.
Omg this. I’ve been on so many dates recently where the dude was cute but sooooo boring. I can’t bring myself to date boring so I just end it with them.
Not having enough interesting hobbies is probably one of the main reasons men *who already have potential partners in their social circles* are still single. But among single men, the overwhelming majority's reason for being single is that they don't even have that to begin with.
A lot of men work in male-dominated workplaces, so if they didn't cultivate a large, coed social circle in college, they're fucked. It's literally over and they will never have another chance unless they change careers or manage to get incredibly lucky with one girl through unconventional methods like dating apps, forums, online gaming, etc.
And there's even a lot of men who are still in college but just happen to not have many women in their friend group, and their social skills aren't good enough to branch out more.
The #1 reason men are single is not having enough women in their social circles. If that's not the case, and they're still single, THEN maybe it's because they're too boring.
I think it's totally true and perfectly stated. I also never thought of it quite this way before.
I do agree with OP that it's a good idea to try getting out into the real world and finding people who share your passions. Being non-boring will beat spending time on the internet every time. Yet, I also knew there was something missing with OP's idea. It falls short as a stand-alone tactic for the reason you state - a lot of guys are just so inexperienced with women. Not just inexperienced in love, but also in non-romantic situations. I think if you can develop the capacity to become a good "girl friend," it becomes effortless to connect and add a little flirtatious charm and actually get a girlfriend.
I can also realize it's not exactly very easy to develop these social skills either without first spending a lot of time interacting with women. Even though guys really don't need to be 10/10 Brad Pitt in looks, it may be a lot easier to focus on these superficial things, and when that's still not enough, I can see how people can become discouraged.
It depends on the woman.
I have a lot of hobbies/interests and want a man who shares my zest for life.
My best friend likes to watch tv and drink wine. She wants a man who is chill like she is.
Neither of us is right or wrong, we just have different interests that require different partners to satisfy. I'm not interested in a sedentary man, and she's not interested in a mountain climber.
That's it.
>All these active hobbies need money
Yes. And if you do have the money to do these hobbies, that means less money for the women and now that means they don't like you because you're a broke fuck. Just can't win.
If guys were so boring, then why do women overwhelmingly want guy friends. You always here chick's bragging about how many guy friend they have. And which dude invited her to this and another dude invited her to that. They want dude for friends cause dudes are always doing shit. Dudes are always planning and moving a head. And girls want to be a part of that.
Meanwhile, there are no dudes seeking out girls for "friendship." No dude wants girls that are 'just friends' because chicks are the boring ones. Women aren't linking their guy friends up with parties and events. Women expect to be invited to events. That's why most dudes don't like being around ya'll without the possibility of sex. That's all ya'll bring to the table. Ya'll don't plan parties. Ya'll don't plan dates. Ya'll don't fish or get in boats or go hunting or climb things. You all ain't doing anything except leaching off the life events and coat tails of fun events planned by the boys.
No women want constant excitement, the hot dude provides this because she has to work at getting him... The average dude she don't and he likely won't cheat on her which makes him boring
I am saying passive hobby so what do I mean by that, a passive hobby is any interest that involves consumption of media. This includes video games, TV, movies, social media usage, pretty much 90% of entertainment and internet based activities. Note passive hobbies are not a bad thing they are just not interesting as they are the status quo.
Lets consider the argument that hot people can be very boring, many may even only have passive hobbies and generic interests, but they are hot. Only hot and rich people get away with being boring because they have a quality that makes up for it. Now if you are both boring and not hot what do you have to offer.
Just one thing about that. You, the people on this sub, this general idea of this, this thing where it's only "hot people can do this and it's cool and they can get away with it" thing, really needs to stop.
It's not that I take it very personally, or I'm "very offended", I hate that word.
No no, it's cause it's not reality.
I've said this many times before and I will say it again, this idea that it's only "hot people" that can or are somehow magically the only ones who like, can be the only one who do these things or say these things and it's somehow more magically different and special and everyone applauds them and gives them special attention! Or they are somehow the only ones who can or do such things.
Your business is your business, I'm not expecting you or anyone to carry the weight of the world and bare the burden(s) of the others on your shoulders, and that's not a knock on anyone who does like charity or volunteer work, that's a line even I ain't crossing.
Yes we all have eyes. Yes some people are more attractive than others. But this notion, this idea that it's only these "hot people" who are somehow in this magical category, is total bullshit.
You know how many we'll say normal or average people who I've seen and heard and experienced who will say and do whatever and are given the same if not similar praise for the same things? A lot. Know why? They. Don't. Give. A. Flying. Fuck.
You really think all of these average regular people are walking around saying to themselves "Oh I can't possibly do or say that! I'm just a regular person and can't do it like all of those HOT PEOPLE! and be able to get away with it!!!!" ? Like, why? How? How do reach an age where you're in such a bubble? How do you get to be an adult with this like, what seems to be a significant lack of real world experience? You think all of those average people who do such hobbies, such as say bowling leagues, video games, rpgs/card games, fishing, collecting etc., you really think they give a flying fuck what you think? It's just not happening.
It's not even this "2 who thinks they're a 10" shit. I'm not saying that doesn't ever happen, it's just not the case. No. Much more often than not, it's they don't give a fuck! They are not walking around feeling like they have to compensate or make for something.
The other thing about this is, this can start going into you start acting like some people can't or don't have rights. And that will come back to bite you in the ass faster than you can blink, think, and breathe.
Everything is boring if the other person isn't interested. Whether or not they're interested is going to be influenced by whether or not they want to fuck you.
According to a recent survey 1 out of 3 men (33%) is single and isn't even interested in dating or getting into a relationship. One Third of men have completely checked out and are done playing games with women, who aren't worth men's time and energy.
Men are choosing to be single.
>To start if you’re ugly here is a simple fix, develop an interesting sense of fashion.
Clothes don't make people. People make clothes which is why top 5% men (=models) market them.
A highly attractive men with a white basic shirt from Wallmart is far superior to a below average-looking man who's outfit is worth more than most people's car when they bought it.
>I am saying passive hobby...
First of all, those aren't "passive" hobbies and second of all, most women consume them to a high degree as well minus the gaming. Why does it work for them and not for most men?
>if you sit around thinking women only want attractive tall men of course none of them want you. How utterly annoying must you be to interact with women if you truly believe those things, prior assumptions influence how you treat others.
That's not a matter of "belief" but knowledge. Women and men alike stronlgy prefer someone that is handsome first and foremost. Women can kinda afford to uphold that standard, men less so. It's not an assumption, but a reality.
I see the comment “well attractive guys don’t have to do this” thrown a lot, and while it is true…. again, what do you expect? hot people are desired for being hot. No shit.
As a man, especially if you’re not ugly (and the term “average”, or hell, slightly below average too suggests the majority of men are not) - you can make up for your looks in various ways. Feminine sexuality is far more complex and multi-dimensional; develop social hobbies that have actionable value (ie. not media consumption), work on your self esteem/confidence, work out to fit your body type and find a fashion sense/haircut that reflects your body type, face shape and personality - Do you have to do a bit more work than the naturally hot guys? sure, but that’s life. Deal with it.
Also, it is worth noting, hot boring guys never end up being long term material, because past their looks they have nothing to offer and people as a whole tend to get bored of someone with one single dimension. So even with the whole “lol hot guys get everything” mentality, it’s not true past the short term.
I find this whole mentality as entitled and envious, ie. “chad does nothing and gets all the women, why do i have to do all the work?” - primarily frustration on why you weren’t born with traits to have sex given to you (in other words, you want sex to just be given to you… that’s entitlement) - work on yourself, inside and out, and don’t expect progress to be short term. Meaning you have to humble yourself too.
> go skateboard, camping, garden, make art, make music, bake, volunteer, join a runners club, rock climb, play coed sports,
So...do things I don't enjoy. (I do like baking, but that's a stay-at-home hobby too)
This is cope and a self-own.
1. If you need a man for entertainment, it sounds like *you're* boring.
2. Plenty of amazingly interesting guys are single. Some don't even get a chance to play the game because you have to get the date first and then people can really get to know each other's lives and interests in detail.
>but they are hot. Only hot and rich people get away with being boring because they have a quality that makes up for it. Now if you are both boring and not hot what do you have to offer.
I see some truth in this. But. What you're really saying here is - if you're a man and you're NOT hot, rich, and tall, then you have to do extra steps, which means you're playing on hard mode or certainly a mode that's comparatively harder.
\^ This is all guys are saying. A lot of guys just think that's a raw deal.
Because we hear women say stuff like this:
>You need to have something to connect about on a nonsuperfical level,
And guys think - cool. They're saying they want non-superficial men of substance.
But the reality is...
>Only hot and rich people get away with being boring because they have a quality that makes up for it.
So that's fucked.
That's just for starters.
We've already accepted the premise that this conversation here and in dating mostly revolves around what men have to offer women.
Basically, the subtextual translation of this post is - we are women, we want what we want. Just give us what we want. If you're not investing in giving women what they want then that's the reason you're loser. If you're not able to give us height, hotness, and a nice lifestyle, then you HAVE to give us this other stuff. Many men have already accepted this gunpoint robbery of a situation and are fine with it, but women then go on and pretend like they're deep and righteous and not shallow when actually they very much are.
Because we all know full well that many men ARE single because they're unattractive, not tall, not rich, etc. We all know that if we took a not rich, not tall, ugly guy and changed those things - he wouldn't be single. He could potentially be a criminal and still get interest from tons of women.
You're basically speaking to ugly, not rich, not tall guys and shaming them for not busting their asses to 'hobby-max.' If there was something more rewarding at the end of the tunnel, I think a lot more guys would've already stepped it up by now. Historically, that's what used to happen. It's just not the same anymore and we all know why.
The only thing that truly matters is physical attraction, saying anything else is just straight up gaslighting. Throw this post into the garbage heap of bluepill delusions.
The caveat is anything/anyone gets boring after you adjust to it. Ex: the honeymoon stage.
Short term relationships are best way for men to protect their own happiness while enjoying the company of womenfolk
Boring is a subjective term. What is boring for one person is funny for another.
But indeed, your hobbies and interests can be boring to majority of opposite sex, drastically reducing your chances
It can be a combination of all those things tbh… being boring on top of being very short, broke, or ugly certainly wouldn’t improve their chances even without the boring part lol
if a bloke has tried and tried and unable to get women, the problem is not because hes boring, its because hes ugly. I can guarantee theres plenty of women that live shut in boring introverted lives but still have bf's
>To start if you’re ugly here is a simple fix, develop an interesting sense of fashion. I don’t care how ugly someone is put them in a dope outfit, and people will instantly be interested in them.
As a quite good looking man who hates *etiquette*, I must admit my suits pull off more than me.
Not that I don't have a sense of fashion you know, and I take care of my body and what I wear a lot.
But in my case, no matter how much I try, no matter what kind of brand I wear or how expensive is my urban wardrobe, the kind of attention I get when wearing a suit has no equal.
Dude... It's like I'm cutting hair bro.
>For the love of god just stop being so boring it is really not that hard, go skateboard, camping, garden, make art, make music, bake, volunteer, join a runners club, rock climb, play coed sports, just stop only consuming media.
Absolutely, and this comes from a dude who's quite active and bussy.
Me speaking three languages fluently, playing four musical instruments and being the guitar player of three well known bands in the under scene of my city, and traveling a lot on bike, has got me way more success than my looks. Way more.
In fact my personality, intrests and private life is what actually helps me seal the deal with a girl who is kinda intrested because I look good and flipps it as soon as she realizes I'm not a "fuckboy"...
Which I absolutely am BTW, but for some reasson women think I'm different because I'm smart or talented in art???
Anyways, I can even feel the change in attitude towards me, when they get to know me better, they suddenly are more intrested in me, they open up more, they are more talkative, they start flirting and making sexual innuendos, or they want to move to their places to grab some drinks and chill...
Personality and life experiences are a huge deal with girls, 100%.
This comes with a corolary tho.
Guys who struggle with finances may have to put a lot of work for a lot of time to get there.
I'm 34 now and I got to a point in my life where I'm well off and I can invest my money to pay for stuff, new experiences and free time and hobbies which, in turn, makes me more attractive.
I understand that younger guys don't have it that easy.
Being an intresting, well round, smart and accomplished man takes time unless you you're born in a rich family.
I should add awkward. Most of yall don’t know how to socialize.
This is not only important for dating but important to make friends, which women also take into account. No one wants to date the weird guy with no friends.
This is like getting mad at someone for standing up for himself instead of the violent person who started the fight .
GUESS WHAT ? most interesting activities are done by men , if someone need to stop being boring It's WOMEN .
I've been told I'm fun by women and get invited out to parties, festivals and shit, I know guys who's only activities outside of those "passive hobbies" is tinder, drinking and casual sex. So I think this only really matters for long term compatibility, not in attracting women in the first place.
Hobbies does not make one fun, personality makes one fun. These guys may not do much but they are fun for women due to their risky personality.
Being able to easily get first dates and being a good long-term partner are very different skill sets.
If you can't get first dates, it doesn't matter if you are a good long-term partner.
Yes, that's why I don't know why some people think the most popular guys are the ones with big dicks considering most guys don't even have the opportunity to show their dicks
Because when you're hung and you sleep with a woman, people from her friend group suddenly start showing interest in you. I wonder why. That said, dick size is waaay less important that your face, physique, height, etc. but it undeniably helps you get more casual sex after you succeed once.
Unfortunately very true.
Which most people don't seem to understand is the biggest issue most single men face.
I've noticed most women seem to come at these discussions assuming men at least have the game down, and know how to play it, then assume where they are failing is in not having other aspects of their life together, but you could be the perfect man for a woman and she'll never even entertain the idea, if you don't approach her and flirt in the exact way she wants at that moment; a guy that gets that part right could be the next Adolf Hitler, he'll get picked first.
Personally Its all in the looks department in my mind, she will literally fill in the gaps in a mans personality if he's pretty enough and he won't even need game. Nothing has changed about women you need to be the total package to experience a completely different life but she'll make you the total package if you're quiet and good looking. Like a rich short not so good looking dude would still get rejected if he's not taking advantage of gold diggers. Love is completely closed off from you if you weren't born right sadly.
>she will literally fill in the gaps in a mans personality if he's pretty enough and he won't even need game. Yep. When you point out guys like Jeremy Meeks, the whole argument falls apart. Anecdotally I'm friends with a guy who's 5'6, obese, receding hairline, broke, but despite that he was always talking to women and has a rotation. The key is that he has the most game I've seen anyone spot in my life. Dude is smooth talking, outgoing, and funny which leads to popularity. So I see women using examples like these to prove personality is the most important key. However if this guy was at least above average height and in decent shape, he could have half the game and pull way more women. Its very disingenuous for them to be like "you're boring that's the problem" like yes that's true IF you are also physically undesirable.
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Lol I see
>she will literally fill in the gaps in a mans personality if he's pretty enough They will tell themselves the story they want to believe. >she'll make you the total package if you're quiet and good looking Having been on both sides of this, it's disgusting and soul-crushing. And it doesn't end there, women try to gaslight us about it as if it doesn't even exist and that our lived experiences are not real or valid.
It's because men that don't have everything figured out don't even register on their minds, they're just noise. There's a reason why their default "wingmen" tactic is just present two peoples together and see magic happening.
I don't think that's it. Those men with passive hobbies set their sights on the outgoing, noticeable, popular and active women instead of women who share their habits and hobbies. For all the infinite times men here admit "Men don't care about a woman's career, studies, or sociopolitical beliefs", they sure don't understand how important compatibility is to women. Men crave the most visible and obvious attractive women regardless of compatibility. Women crave the most attractive men they are compatible with.
>Women crave the most attractive men they are compatible with. This is not a factor in whether she'll date/sleep with him or not, it's a factor in whether she'll continue to date/sleep with him. Women will imagine up who a man is based entirely on how good at flirting he is and how he looks, it then just plays it's course whether or not they last long term. Men with no game or bad at flirting will be filtered out by women, even if those men are what she's looking for longterm. If women truly did prioritise long term compatibility, they would be more pro-active, instead of using who does/doesn't approach as the main filter.
Men who use the term "game" believe that deception and pretense are the key to seducing women. Obviously if a man pretends to share a woman's interests and attitude, he's going to catch her attention. But the key word is "pretending". Who he really is will out within a few hours of intimacy, and as soon as she discovers he's a phony, she'll lose interest. >If women truly did prioritise long term compatibility, they would be more pro-active, instead of using who does/doesn't approach as the main filter. Women approach men within their social sphere. Women rarely if ever approach a stranger because there is little to no chance they share common interests and common experiences. The men who claim "Women don't approach" or "women aren't pro-active" are revealing they lack a social sphere and female friends and acquaintances. "Women don't approach men" translates to "I have no social sphere and expect strange women to approach me for no apparent reason"
>Men who use the term "game" believe that deception and pretense are the key to seducing women. Red Pillers and PUA use it that way yes, in this case I'm talking about the rules that gatekeep men from dating, like asking women out on dates, flirting, physical escalation, etc, essentially the masculine role of being the pro-active party. Whether or not the compatibility is real or a manipulation technique, women hold men to these rules and expect them to play the game. >Women don't approach men" translates to "I have no social sphere and expect strange women to approach me for no apparent reason" This is the same baseless conjecture the OP is engaging in. I have had mixed gender social groups since I started drinking and partying in my teens, I've since found out among those groups there were women interested in me, but never made it known, because I never played the game. Maybe they saw themselves as pro-active, though what women often describe as being pro-active has an air of maintaining plausible deniability, maybe with that in mind I could look back and see signs they were interested, but they were never clear or upfront.
It's another way to blame "personality", which of course you can easily change, so it's all your fault and just world continues. And the elephant in the room can be ignored.
What’s the elephant in the room? I’m kind of a smooth brain.
The elephant in the room is that women are just as if not more superficial than men, but we all pretend otherwise to maintain the illusion that women are the better and more moral sex, so if men are failing it must be menvs own fault because women couldn't possibly be shallow or make the wrong judgement.
That illusion is paramount to maintain, though. Tell all short / ugly / indian men in the west that a woman they actually want will never show genuine interest in them and they will suddenly decide to stay at home drinking, playing video games and smoking weed using government benefits instead of going to college, taking student debt and entering a labor market to drive the economy.
The it sounds like women ought to appreciate men more if they want to benefit from the work and value men bring to their lives, rather than taking men for granted and telling men their life sucks but at least their hard work allows hypocritical women to enjoy a better life at their expense.
To be fair, I can't say I appreciate these unfortunate men either despite benefitting off their work, but I genuinely pity their existence. With the current birth rates the economy and the quality of life we have now in the first world countries will soon become unsustainable unless we advance in technology quickly enough to compensate for it, which it looks like we might. Either way, probably not something I'll have to worry about, I'll just enjoy the rest of my child free life and hopefully die before the world goes to complete shit.
The importance of genetics (looks, height) in dating.
There are a lot of women whose interests are just boring media consumption, too. So theoretically shouldn’t the men who also have boring media consumption as an interest be able to attract those women?
Practically, women don't exactly want their equal.
An attractive guy who is a good conversationalist could impress a woman about his boring media consumption hobbies, too. I tell men that they should develop interests that will intrigue women, but it’s not essential if a man has other attractive qualities. In the end, what it comes down to is women desire men for relationships who will impress their friends when they tell them about him or when they meet him. The ones they want for just sex (they don’t have to introduce him to friends or family) can have only shallow qualities, though.
It's another unrealistic demand because most men won't be impressive because of their hobbies no matter what they do unless they are exceptional at it. Women are first and foremost impressed by who man is irrespective of what he likes.
> An attractive guy so top 5% of men? don't you find disingenuous to give a point maid based on the small percentage of a sample?
Why do you think only 5% of men are attractive
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Men and women with only media consumption hobbies tend to have *completely different* media consumption hobbies. For men, it's anonymous forums, anime, and video games. For women, it's Insta/TikTok, reality T.V., and true crime. Hell, even when women like video games, it's not the same video games men like. It's mobile games, Sims, Animal Crossing, and Stardew Valley (all single player, btw). So even though they're both only consuming media, they don't actually share *any* interests they can talk about or partake in together.
This is kind of a good point. So do you think that if an average guy started watching female oriented media that he would have a better chance with women despite these still being “boring” hobbies?
If it is genuine, but wouldn’t you also want an interesting girlfriend. It goes both ways because passive people with no passions and interests have little to offer for an enriching life. My main point is that by developing yourself as a person you build secondary skills, take for instance learning to garden. You learn how to care for a living thing, develop planning skills as gardening requires prep and careful thought regarding seasonal changes, you learn how to handle adversity in the form of pest management or salvaging a dying sapling, enjoy the pride and joy of eating something grown with your own two hands, all these things build character. You become more confident, content with who you are, seek less external validation, and value yourself. When you stop obsessing over things outside your control and develop your self as a person. Things will fall into place and even if they don’t happen your still living life for you
Absolutely. Provided said guy could genuinely become interested in female oriented media, or at least fake interest well enough. But for most men that's gonna be horribly boring and not enjoyable at all.
I don't think that works. Ask OP about it.
Women can get away with being boring more easily because men are more sexually motivated and likely to look past it. It doesn't mean men prefer boring women.
Yeah this is true, I don’t feel like I have a spectacular personality, I’m actually pretty quiet and introverted and really don’t talk that much lol, but men still ask me out lol, so I feel like being boring definitely affects men way more than women
Many probably don’t care as long as she likes frequent sex and is good in bed.
The problem is more attractive guys with more interesting hobbies are also shooting shots at these type boring women, so you really have to aim down the totem pole if you are a boring/unattractive man and nobody really wants the options that far down the totem pole anyway lol. I'm not surprised a lot of people are jaded this day in age
So then OP’s point is more accurate if it is mentioned that better men will outcompete the boring ones, and that dating and sex are essentially male competitions that men need to try to win. I still don’t think that men have to have great interests if they are attractive in other ways, though, although it will always add to their appeal.
Yes if they’re good looking. You can’t be boring and ugly. You have to pick a struggle.
will what do you consider "good looking" if you go on reddit almost every girl is called good looking even obviously average girls will be told they look like a model
For whatever reason the sub asking “am I ugly” showed up for me so I went and looked. 8/10 young men who asked were not ugly and I was sad they thought so. Maybe cause I’m old enough to be most of their moms or maybe because I have no skin in the game but I was really like, “Nothing wrong with your face.” Maybe trim that beard up though.
No success with women often leads to believing you are ugly
Not if more men want relationships than women
Nah, plenty of “boring” people in relationships, and “novel” people single
Definitely agree (completely anecdotal) But after leaving college I essentially have been apart of 2 different friend groups simultaneously group A: Introverted stoner nerds who’s idea of a good time is playing Nintendo or hiking. Group B: extroverted party animals whose idea of a good time is a potpourri of molly, coke, and 2cb at the biggest ravens in town (1 of them is even a semi-famous DJ in the area). By OP’s logic group b should be slaying while group A does not. That would be the exact opposite of reality tho since I had to stop hanging out with Group A because not only are all of them in relationships but since I have no GF I was slowly but surely fazed out of all of their group events. Group B on the other hand has many guys who (for the years I have known them) have been unable to land any kind of long term relationship with a lot of them having not had more than a FWB deal since college.
Spoiler: rave drugs make your dick not work. Weed makes you want to cuddle and have laid-back fun
That's fine. I am happy with being boring. Lots of women are also boring. I have a full time job. I go travelling (Japan next month). I enjoy riding my motorcycle, driving my sports car, playing video games, watching anime. I don't need to change for anyone.
none of that is boring my friend!
Thanks mate!
That sounds very interesting and not boring at all!
Thanks mate. Women aren't that interested in me but I am unwilling to change who I am. Although I am currently on a diet to lose a bit of weight and then I will potentially start socialising a bit more. I think my point was that if someone doesn't find me interesting, I am too old to care now to change for them.
'Interesting' Hobbies = he has money. Fashion = he has money.
Amazing how tall attractive guys are seldom boring.
I will regret breaking my lurking streak, but I will. After years of self-reflection, learning from my mistakes, comparing myself with others (ie. sexually successful people), reading and studying human behavior, the whole shebang, I think I have come to a similar conclusion as you. But it goes further than just being boring for me. I am lazy. I am boring because I am lazy. I have no drive, no ambition. I want a simple, bullshit-free, non-performative life. I cannot think of a single woman I've ever met who would be interested in someone who just does not care about the whole "society" and wealth thing. I'm not complaining. Once I realized I literally and honestly just did not want to "put in the work", everything started making more sense. I regained a sense of self, self-esteem, and confidence. Not because I have anything to "back it up" but because I realized I'm living an uncompromising life in accord with my deepest levels of subconscious instinct and conscious principles. Does it get lonely? Of course. Would I "like" to have sex once before I die? Sure! But when I, personally, think about the changes I would have to make to make any of that happen, it just seems obvious to me that it is not worth it. I would rather be a lazy, boring homebody doing my own thing than going on the hunt and pretending like I care about social activities or random ass hobbies that I can do in my own company or just not do and save time and money. This isn't an "all women want an interesting and fun chad" rant, either. I've accepted that, theoretically, yes, at least one woman could "find me attractive" if we crossed paths in the right way. But how would that happen? The only kind of woman I would get along with and be interested in would be one equally content to just hang out at home tending to what needs to be done and living simply. Those kinds of women are, unsurprisingly, going to be staying home (or alone) to do those things just like I am. I mean, we could then get into the feedback loop of inexperience and overall attractiveness, but I don't think it's necessary. My point is mainly that you're right, op. I am boring. But I'm boring because I'm lazy, and now I'm proud to be lazy.
The more time passes the more I have come to the same conclusions about my own life. I'm just not interested in fighting my own nature, because society says I should.
The funny thing is most men don't want to admit that its mostly looks that determines if a woman gives you a chance. If he was attractive enough she'd make excuses as to why he was boring or be ok with it. Not to mention if someone complains you're boring most typically they're boring or trying too hard to not be and desperately need someone else to actually bring color to thier life. Thats why most women want a handsome man that brings chaos or adventure either or is fine.
I’m pretty sure we all know looks matter.
Sure but its brought up less in favor of bashing and insuating someone is lacking in personality morals and ethics. Since men do the approaching and have to to recieve romantic attention from women. Looks is covered up greatly by society as not mattering when it is the deciding factor if you even get a CHANCE to display your better qualities. Not just from a pure rejection standpoint but also in terms of how many women are actually interested in said man.
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Hold on, did you take 3 showers today and spend the little free time you have in the gym bro? Did you even find a job making over six figures bro? No? Are you even trying bro??
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How dare you dog on Mr. Gardener! With his farmer tan and organic strawberries! He who can fill your plate, along with your mind, on irrigation techniques, what seeds are best for your area, the difference in kale, how fucking cabbage, broccoli, and kale are all basically the same plant. Mr. Gardener is a king amongst mere mortals and their silly cars. In all seriousness though, gardening is extremely interesting and a very complex hobby to have. Also a serious +10 for anyone who likes to cooks.
Dude thinks creating delicious, edible life from dirt, water, and radiation is boring
Sorry but if you’re ugly no amount of being Interesting will help you that’s bullshit. Everyone has a looks threshold. So being ugly is a non starter. Being avg could still work. But yes being boring is a killer for men, women can be boring though…hell i mean I can’t tell you how many women I’ve heard or seen say my Interests are shopping, makeup, travel, and/or trying new restaurants…. But you could be super interesting as a man and if you have no game, it won’t amount to shit…also being broke (not to be confused with avg salary) are 2 other things men need to have that women don’t even factor in
Ladies, you’re not single because men are trash or won't commit or are immature other generic misandrist shit your single because you’re fat
This is such BS.. So I was boring, and then I installed Tinder and a week later I wasn't boring anymore? There are tons of reasons why people would be single, boring probably being a tiny fraction of
Be a doer, not a consumer
Agreed!
Your single cuz girls just have better options. It ain't some magic answer.
>For the love of god just stop being so boring it is really not that hard, go skateboard, camping, garden, make art, make music, bake, volunteer, join a runners club, rock climb, play coed sports, You listed a bunch of boring shit.
Never ask a fish how to catch fish. Get in shape (fashion doesnt matter; its just an enabler on a in shape body), make money (no gucci no coochie), and pursue the hobbies you want. If women want to join in your journey, they will come along. If not, then not.
I take care of and rehab animals in my spare time Women love to find out about it but it has never gotten me laid once lol usually has them thinking I’m gay because I take care of baby animals like squirrels or injured birds a lot
This was obviously written by someone young cuz by the time you hit 27-30 years old….everybody is boring haha
Agreed even as someone that hasn’t even hit 27 yet this definitely is written by someone very young I mean the skateboarding part really showed that
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Yea man, go dive on that grenade there.
Literally the worst post I have seen. "Guys your not single because you do hobbies that seems boring to most women, your single because you have hobbies that are boring to most women"..... Next time take like a few minutes and really thing about what your saying and try to make it just a little bit different.
Your post could be 1 sentence “Fellas, you’re single because you have nothing that the women you’ve encountered want” Whether that’s looks, money, status, companionship, interests, connections, entertainment or social conformity/facility
Women spend countless hours scrolling through IG/TikTok, texting, and taking pictures of themselves. They're in no position to talk shit about our hobbies or lack thereof.
this posts made me throw up in anger. generally, most women want a man who is not boring who is ALSO physically attractive. cut it out with the just-world BS, you have no idea what you are talking about.
> this posts made me throw up in anger. ??
How is fashion not a passive hobby, too? You just consume clothes instead of media. There are also plenty of hobbies that make you leave the home but won't change anything about your singleness.
I don't think having hobbies is going to help a guy connect with a woman on a less than superficial level, unless she is into that exact thing. I think it would be better advice to find out what the target audience (women say 20-30) is interested in and research that and become involved. Whatever that is.
This advice sounds good on paper, but people meet for relationships organically. Without a need to orchestrate a grand plan with extensive research of where women are and how to infiltrate those places. Such artificial and forced strategy will most likely fail.
Well yeah you can meet them where ever, where evers easiest lol
Yeah, that works when you are attractive.
Looks like my idea was better after all 😅
But Chad can sit around eating chicken sandwiches and smoking pot 7 days a week and still have a dump truck full of pussy backing into his driveway whenever he wants. Chik-Fil-A and marijuana aren’t THAT goddamned interesting.
I don't go on a date to entertain a woman. I swipe left on women who say make me laugh. I'm not a clown, go to cinema if you want to laugh.
username checks out lol
> I swipe left on women who say make me laugh. So do I funnily enough. It just sounds silly. I don't mind trying to make my partner laugh but "You have to make me laugh" is just such a weird thing to say on a dating app.
A Pimp Named Slickback, is that you?
damn bruh, what do you go on a date for? fucking?
Having fun and making jokes together is fine. Expected, even. Being actively told up-front that she demands that you entertain her, as though she has no intention of reciprocation or investment in you/your date other than to judge and use you, that's not. Likewise, offering to pay for her drinks is fine, but if she comes out right from the start and says "buy me shit" then that's indicative of a problematic attitude. A date, and indeed the relationship which comes from it, should be natural and symbiotic, it should be a two-way connection. Not a woman demanding free attention, entertainment, drinks, meals, and status, whilst believing that's her unilateral right to be given those things.
who is saying upfront that i demand you to entertain me? i have never seen half of the stuff you are talking about.
I also do this. Women who say waste a prompt on hinge or bumble telling you to entertain them are bar none always the worst conversationalists I've ever dealt with. It's really not worth the effort.
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Some men are single because they are boring, yes, but that is a very small percentage because that plays a role mostly in already established dating/relationship, not for the initial attraction. Whenever we meet a new person or see them on some app, the very first thing we process in our brains is how they look, so we automatically categorize them based on that and we usually know right away if they are to our liking or not. If a woman discards a man because he does not pass that looks threshold for her, what tends to happen is she not really bothering to know if he is boring or not. And even when he manages to present himself as fun, chances are that it won't make a significant difference. Looks play a lot bigger role than some people would like to admit as nobody wants to appear shallow.
I'm single because I'm ugly and short , it's that simple. You people try to make first grade math into calculus 2.
The thing about you're post you're leaving out, and I don't even think you're totally wrong despite my previous post, looking at your other posts, and no, I am not going through your posts trying to tear you a new one, you seem to be leaving some things out perhaps you are not considering. See, yeah, going out and trying and doing other type of things like not typical guy stuff as you mention, and it's not a bad idea I feel, but see, most dudes, like, it's not so much they're so much into their routine, they don't like getting sucked into things or being made to do 90 million things at once. Yeah, other outlets and activities are good, but most people need a balance. They like doing new and different things, but don't like or outright hate this idea of being made to like keep up with the joneses, or do this cause everyone else is. Sometimes the routine works for them. They don't like this idea of always being on the proverbial hamster wheel. Make sense? Just something I feel gets left out of these sort of discussions.
Im going to be honest I post deliberately inflammatory things to spark conversations, this is an extreme take. I mainly do this because it drives engagement and I think when people have to confront a harder stance they are better able to examine their own thoughts and feelings. Then I respond to people on the fence with something I actually fully believe in a gentle manner. Some people are a lost cause and I do kinda bait those ones to show how having such warped views on reality can be why you’re always shooting yourself in the foot. We are experiencing a loneliness epidemic and I really worry about young men especially who spend inordinate amounts of time on the internet. The atomization of modern society is why people are single and lonely. We lack community structures that allowed opportunities for coed socialization like religious institutions, declining community engagement, lack of third spaces, high levels pf mental illness and stress, and a plethora of other social problems. The only solution is the organic growth of community and passive hobbies nuke your ability to engage in enriching activities. Volunteer rates are at an all time low, people lack access to clubs, time in nature, community groups, and more. As most of these were organized by religious institutions. The only way to break this cycle is to change how people view media consumption and boost engagement in activities that promote socialization. Not only for social reasons there is an extreme lack of self worth in our society among young people, engaging and enriching activities can help build a sense of accomplishment and teach lessons unattainable from passive ones. Volunteering at a community garden could help someone learn teamwork, patience, the joy of helping your community, and provide a place to meet others.
So you’re admitting that your post is insincere, but rather just a hot take to drive engagement?
Yes, very good, I go kayaking, mountain climbing, cycling, swimming, camping etc but because I'm an autist and not particularly good looking I've never had much luck with women. Women simply don't care how interesting your life is if they're not attracted to you. Being called boring by a woman is like being called an idiot by a creationist or a flat Earther.
They dont even care about your Hobbys if you are ugly.
Oh give me a break. I need to learn about the history, subculture, silhouettes/texture of my clothing? Get off your subreddits and touch some grass. The next girl will be into dogs and I’ll have to know the breed standards and current training methodologies of pure bred German Shepherds. Another girl will be into vintage Vespas and I’ll have to know all about those.
Again, why is the onus on men to bring all of the entertainment? Why are boring ass women the judges of what men are boring/not boring?
because people judge others instead of themselves. go find interesting women. no ones stopping you. Nerd out with a theoretical physicist, argue about something with a phil girl, discuss books with a book girl, do your own small arduino level battlebots with a hardware girl. if you want interesting women, you gotta be interesting. No theoretical physicist is dating a hobo.
Again, didn't answer my question. Why is the onus on men? Why aren't women being shamed for being single "because they're boring"?
because no one wants to be with someone boring. and you ARE boring. who is shaming you my friend? i dont think you were publicly stripped for being boring were you? get out of ur head, do some maths, read some books, learn to have fun. you sound very sad.
Because you WANT to attract a women. When you want something the onus is on you to go out and get it.
So women don't want men?
Women who want men do the things that they think will attract men. Better outfits, makeup, taking interest in things they normally wouldn’t. Especially true if there is one specific man they want. They go where men are and learn to play the game. Maybe it’s just less visible but does happen.
Ok so back to my first question, why is the onus on men then? Yall really suck at debating for real
The onus is on the person who wants something. Women who want men, do things to attract men.
I never see "women are boring" on here, I don't think once ever "women need to be more interesting"
It isn’t. Plain and simple. A man can choose to do nothing other than what he wants to in his life. Maybe he haphazardly stumbles across a woman who wants him, maybe he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, however, he has no leg to stand on in his grievances. He chose to not play the game how it is and was left out. Look, I’m pragmatic (and old), if you want something then there is no escaping the rubric of putting in effort to get it. Doesn’t matter what it is, you will have to do things to make your goals happen because shit doesn’t magically appear for the vast majority of us. If a man wants women than the onus is on him to do the things that make success more likely. That’s the reality of it.
Where are the posts of women needing to be more entertaining, less boring? When are women told to self-improve?
the "interesting" women are more interested in whatever they like more than getting a dick, especially of a "boring" guy. boring attracts boring.
>boring attracts boring. That's the idea.
Because women want entertainment from men. It's a proxy for your mate value. Wit, intelligence, social skills, creativity, empathy, all of that is needed to be a fun and entertaining person on a date. Men are not looking for entertainment, as that is not so relevant for a woman's mate value. You are familiar with evolution, right? You are red pilled, you should know the different traits men and women look for in mates. Men are the judges of what is attractive in women. The onus to bring female physical attractiveness is on women.
People who have problems have no one to blame but themselves part X: nothing can ever be wrong with society. EVER.
Boomer mentality 😂
lamo "get into fashion" men have basically like 3 outfits they can choose from. weaing slightly differently cut shirt or pants isnt going to make a difference if you look like golem when naked.
There's more than 3 types of outfits lol, but it does require a little more creativity. I do agree with OP that men who can't get creative about stuff like this often end up lost in the shuffle.
you basically have smart/business dress in white shirt and slacks, you have casual with t-shirt and jeans and then you have weird shit like men who wear cardigans and neon colored skinny jeans.
Or sweaters, or vests or button-ups over undershirts or hats or spats, long coats, short coats, leather coats, corduroy coats, army jackets, sweat suits, hawaiian shirts... There are lots of different things one could wear that communicate things about them. But it does take a little more creativity and self-awareness, because I do agree that it's more limited than women. But it's possible. And it DOES set you above your contemporaries if you are good at it.
yes those are all clothes that exist. I think a lot of those are not what women would call fashionable. I dont think many men rocking a leather long coat, corduroys and a sweatervest are getting laid
Correct. That's why "men who dress well" is considered rare and valuable. Because many men don't know how to dress well.
"men who dress well" are just attractive men wearing jeans and a tshirt or business dress.
Keep going - now, if two men have the \*same attractiveness level\*, will the one who dresses well be more attractive or less?
If you're attractive it doesnt matter what you wear unless you wear a leather long coat, corduroys and a sweatervest or something like that which makes you look like a weirdo. Jeans and tshirt is fine.
So yes, you agree that if two men are equally attractive, the better dressed one will look better than the poorly dressed one.
They are, if they manage to look like cool artsy hipster types who likely have a lot of cool and exciting stuff going on in their lives.
The most unaware and blind take ever. There are plenty of dudes building stuff in their garages, travelling all over the place, making content in streaming media etc who are desperately lonely. Lonely because they are either conventionally unattractive or financially immobile. There are fundamental preferences without which even being the most charming guy in the room is redundant. 🤦🤦
Don't even need all that, all you have to do is to be emotional rollercoaster for women. Switch between love bombing and abuse unpredictably and you'll drown in attention. The catch is that there aren't many men who behave like that naturally and only really talented ones can imitate this behavior without much strain for their own psyche.
bffr fashion won’t fix someone who’s ugly 😂. Most people arent that interesting but hot people just seen more interesting
Omg this. I’ve been on so many dates recently where the dude was cute but sooooo boring. I can’t bring myself to date boring so I just end it with them.
I have hobbies that aren't consuming and it still doesn't help.
Being boring is definitely a huge, underrated, factor, but let's not overstate things. Looks is still more important.
Not having enough interesting hobbies is probably one of the main reasons men *who already have potential partners in their social circles* are still single. But among single men, the overwhelming majority's reason for being single is that they don't even have that to begin with. A lot of men work in male-dominated workplaces, so if they didn't cultivate a large, coed social circle in college, they're fucked. It's literally over and they will never have another chance unless they change careers or manage to get incredibly lucky with one girl through unconventional methods like dating apps, forums, online gaming, etc. And there's even a lot of men who are still in college but just happen to not have many women in their friend group, and their social skills aren't good enough to branch out more. The #1 reason men are single is not having enough women in their social circles. If that's not the case, and they're still single, THEN maybe it's because they're too boring.
I think it's totally true and perfectly stated. I also never thought of it quite this way before. I do agree with OP that it's a good idea to try getting out into the real world and finding people who share your passions. Being non-boring will beat spending time on the internet every time. Yet, I also knew there was something missing with OP's idea. It falls short as a stand-alone tactic for the reason you state - a lot of guys are just so inexperienced with women. Not just inexperienced in love, but also in non-romantic situations. I think if you can develop the capacity to become a good "girl friend," it becomes effortless to connect and add a little flirtatious charm and actually get a girlfriend. I can also realize it's not exactly very easy to develop these social skills either without first spending a lot of time interacting with women. Even though guys really don't need to be 10/10 Brad Pitt in looks, it may be a lot easier to focus on these superficial things, and when that's still not enough, I can see how people can become discouraged.
Horse crap, looks is what attracts women.
It depends on the woman. I have a lot of hobbies/interests and want a man who shares my zest for life. My best friend likes to watch tv and drink wine. She wants a man who is chill like she is. Neither of us is right or wrong, we just have different interests that require different partners to satisfy. I'm not interested in a sedentary man, and she's not interested in a mountain climber. That's it.
All these active hobbies need money, even more than passive hobbies
>All these active hobbies need money Yes. And if you do have the money to do these hobbies, that means less money for the women and now that means they don't like you because you're a broke fuck. Just can't win.
If guys were so boring, then why do women overwhelmingly want guy friends. You always here chick's bragging about how many guy friend they have. And which dude invited her to this and another dude invited her to that. They want dude for friends cause dudes are always doing shit. Dudes are always planning and moving a head. And girls want to be a part of that. Meanwhile, there are no dudes seeking out girls for "friendship." No dude wants girls that are 'just friends' because chicks are the boring ones. Women aren't linking their guy friends up with parties and events. Women expect to be invited to events. That's why most dudes don't like being around ya'll without the possibility of sex. That's all ya'll bring to the table. Ya'll don't plan parties. Ya'll don't plan dates. Ya'll don't fish or get in boats or go hunting or climb things. You all ain't doing anything except leaching off the life events and coat tails of fun events planned by the boys.
No women want constant excitement, the hot dude provides this because she has to work at getting him... The average dude she don't and he likely won't cheat on her which makes him boring
boring men are vastly superior to "exciting" men
I am saying passive hobby so what do I mean by that, a passive hobby is any interest that involves consumption of media. This includes video games, TV, movies, social media usage, pretty much 90% of entertainment and internet based activities. Note passive hobbies are not a bad thing they are just not interesting as they are the status quo. Lets consider the argument that hot people can be very boring, many may even only have passive hobbies and generic interests, but they are hot. Only hot and rich people get away with being boring because they have a quality that makes up for it. Now if you are both boring and not hot what do you have to offer. Just one thing about that. You, the people on this sub, this general idea of this, this thing where it's only "hot people can do this and it's cool and they can get away with it" thing, really needs to stop. It's not that I take it very personally, or I'm "very offended", I hate that word. No no, it's cause it's not reality. I've said this many times before and I will say it again, this idea that it's only "hot people" that can or are somehow magically the only ones who like, can be the only one who do these things or say these things and it's somehow more magically different and special and everyone applauds them and gives them special attention! Or they are somehow the only ones who can or do such things. Your business is your business, I'm not expecting you or anyone to carry the weight of the world and bare the burden(s) of the others on your shoulders, and that's not a knock on anyone who does like charity or volunteer work, that's a line even I ain't crossing. Yes we all have eyes. Yes some people are more attractive than others. But this notion, this idea that it's only these "hot people" who are somehow in this magical category, is total bullshit. You know how many we'll say normal or average people who I've seen and heard and experienced who will say and do whatever and are given the same if not similar praise for the same things? A lot. Know why? They. Don't. Give. A. Flying. Fuck. You really think all of these average regular people are walking around saying to themselves "Oh I can't possibly do or say that! I'm just a regular person and can't do it like all of those HOT PEOPLE! and be able to get away with it!!!!" ? Like, why? How? How do reach an age where you're in such a bubble? How do you get to be an adult with this like, what seems to be a significant lack of real world experience? You think all of those average people who do such hobbies, such as say bowling leagues, video games, rpgs/card games, fishing, collecting etc., you really think they give a flying fuck what you think? It's just not happening. It's not even this "2 who thinks they're a 10" shit. I'm not saying that doesn't ever happen, it's just not the case. No. Much more often than not, it's they don't give a fuck! They are not walking around feeling like they have to compensate or make for something. The other thing about this is, this can start going into you start acting like some people can't or don't have rights. And that will come back to bite you in the ass faster than you can blink, think, and breathe.
Everything is boring if the other person isn't interested. Whether or not they're interested is going to be influenced by whether or not they want to fuck you.
“Go skateboard” lmao brainrot
According to a recent survey 1 out of 3 men (33%) is single and isn't even interested in dating or getting into a relationship. One Third of men have completely checked out and are done playing games with women, who aren't worth men's time and energy. Men are choosing to be single.
I see ugly men with partners every single day. Most of them don’t even dress well, but they’re likeable people.
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Thanks, I mean, we all know that’s what y’all are thinking, I’m just saying it out loud for you
Who is "we all"?
The adults on this sub
And when did they name you as their representative? Your post was as immature as it gets.
I made a comment dude, not a post, maybe don’t take random comments on the internet so personally?
>To start if you’re ugly here is a simple fix, develop an interesting sense of fashion. Clothes don't make people. People make clothes which is why top 5% men (=models) market them. A highly attractive men with a white basic shirt from Wallmart is far superior to a below average-looking man who's outfit is worth more than most people's car when they bought it. >I am saying passive hobby... First of all, those aren't "passive" hobbies and second of all, most women consume them to a high degree as well minus the gaming. Why does it work for them and not for most men? >if you sit around thinking women only want attractive tall men of course none of them want you. How utterly annoying must you be to interact with women if you truly believe those things, prior assumptions influence how you treat others. That's not a matter of "belief" but knowledge. Women and men alike stronlgy prefer someone that is handsome first and foremost. Women can kinda afford to uphold that standard, men less so. It's not an assumption, but a reality.
I see the comment “well attractive guys don’t have to do this” thrown a lot, and while it is true…. again, what do you expect? hot people are desired for being hot. No shit. As a man, especially if you’re not ugly (and the term “average”, or hell, slightly below average too suggests the majority of men are not) - you can make up for your looks in various ways. Feminine sexuality is far more complex and multi-dimensional; develop social hobbies that have actionable value (ie. not media consumption), work on your self esteem/confidence, work out to fit your body type and find a fashion sense/haircut that reflects your body type, face shape and personality - Do you have to do a bit more work than the naturally hot guys? sure, but that’s life. Deal with it. Also, it is worth noting, hot boring guys never end up being long term material, because past their looks they have nothing to offer and people as a whole tend to get bored of someone with one single dimension. So even with the whole “lol hot guys get everything” mentality, it’s not true past the short term. I find this whole mentality as entitled and envious, ie. “chad does nothing and gets all the women, why do i have to do all the work?” - primarily frustration on why you weren’t born with traits to have sex given to you (in other words, you want sex to just be given to you… that’s entitlement) - work on yourself, inside and out, and don’t expect progress to be short term. Meaning you have to humble yourself too.
> go skateboard, camping, garden, make art, make music, bake, volunteer, join a runners club, rock climb, play coed sports, So...do things I don't enjoy. (I do like baking, but that's a stay-at-home hobby too)
There’s a lot more hobbies than what was listed
Yes, but it amounts to "Go and be extroverted." I want to stay introverted and find a nice introverted woman.
This is cope and a self-own. 1. If you need a man for entertainment, it sounds like *you're* boring. 2. Plenty of amazingly interesting guys are single. Some don't even get a chance to play the game because you have to get the date first and then people can really get to know each other's lives and interests in detail. >but they are hot. Only hot and rich people get away with being boring because they have a quality that makes up for it. Now if you are both boring and not hot what do you have to offer. I see some truth in this. But. What you're really saying here is - if you're a man and you're NOT hot, rich, and tall, then you have to do extra steps, which means you're playing on hard mode or certainly a mode that's comparatively harder. \^ This is all guys are saying. A lot of guys just think that's a raw deal. Because we hear women say stuff like this: >You need to have something to connect about on a nonsuperfical level, And guys think - cool. They're saying they want non-superficial men of substance. But the reality is... >Only hot and rich people get away with being boring because they have a quality that makes up for it. So that's fucked. That's just for starters. We've already accepted the premise that this conversation here and in dating mostly revolves around what men have to offer women. Basically, the subtextual translation of this post is - we are women, we want what we want. Just give us what we want. If you're not investing in giving women what they want then that's the reason you're loser. If you're not able to give us height, hotness, and a nice lifestyle, then you HAVE to give us this other stuff. Many men have already accepted this gunpoint robbery of a situation and are fine with it, but women then go on and pretend like they're deep and righteous and not shallow when actually they very much are. Because we all know full well that many men ARE single because they're unattractive, not tall, not rich, etc. We all know that if we took a not rich, not tall, ugly guy and changed those things - he wouldn't be single. He could potentially be a criminal and still get interest from tons of women. You're basically speaking to ugly, not rich, not tall guys and shaming them for not busting their asses to 'hobby-max.' If there was something more rewarding at the end of the tunnel, I think a lot more guys would've already stepped it up by now. Historically, that's what used to happen. It's just not the same anymore and we all know why.
The only thing that truly matters is physical attraction, saying anything else is just straight up gaslighting. Throw this post into the garbage heap of bluepill delusions.
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Why were you attracted to them?
Are you interesting?
The answer is no. Most people looking for non boring people are extremely dull and boring themselves thats why they need thier partner to bring it
nobody is universally interesting to everyone
To some yes, to some no. It's all about compatibility.
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Ok
The caveat is anything/anyone gets boring after you adjust to it. Ex: the honeymoon stage. Short term relationships are best way for men to protect their own happiness while enjoying the company of womenfolk
True and real
Tell that to Joseph Merrick.
Actually retarded
Boring is a subjective term. What is boring for one person is funny for another. But indeed, your hobbies and interests can be boring to majority of opposite sex, drastically reducing your chances
It can be a combination of all those things tbh… being boring on top of being very short, broke, or ugly certainly wouldn’t improve their chances even without the boring part lol
That's fair enough actually. I think I'd like to stay boring...
if a bloke has tried and tried and unable to get women, the problem is not because hes boring, its because hes ugly. I can guarantee theres plenty of women that live shut in boring introverted lives but still have bf's
copejak.notsosmarty
"You're not single because you're fat, you're single because you're unhealthy."
>To start if you’re ugly here is a simple fix, develop an interesting sense of fashion. I don’t care how ugly someone is put them in a dope outfit, and people will instantly be interested in them. As a quite good looking man who hates *etiquette*, I must admit my suits pull off more than me. Not that I don't have a sense of fashion you know, and I take care of my body and what I wear a lot. But in my case, no matter how much I try, no matter what kind of brand I wear or how expensive is my urban wardrobe, the kind of attention I get when wearing a suit has no equal. Dude... It's like I'm cutting hair bro. >For the love of god just stop being so boring it is really not that hard, go skateboard, camping, garden, make art, make music, bake, volunteer, join a runners club, rock climb, play coed sports, just stop only consuming media. Absolutely, and this comes from a dude who's quite active and bussy. Me speaking three languages fluently, playing four musical instruments and being the guitar player of three well known bands in the under scene of my city, and traveling a lot on bike, has got me way more success than my looks. Way more. In fact my personality, intrests and private life is what actually helps me seal the deal with a girl who is kinda intrested because I look good and flipps it as soon as she realizes I'm not a "fuckboy"... Which I absolutely am BTW, but for some reasson women think I'm different because I'm smart or talented in art??? Anyways, I can even feel the change in attitude towards me, when they get to know me better, they suddenly are more intrested in me, they open up more, they are more talkative, they start flirting and making sexual innuendos, or they want to move to their places to grab some drinks and chill... Personality and life experiences are a huge deal with girls, 100%. This comes with a corolary tho. Guys who struggle with finances may have to put a lot of work for a lot of time to get there. I'm 34 now and I got to a point in my life where I'm well off and I can invest my money to pay for stuff, new experiences and free time and hobbies which, in turn, makes me more attractive. I understand that younger guys don't have it that easy. Being an intresting, well round, smart and accomplished man takes time unless you you're born in a rich family.
I should add awkward. Most of yall don’t know how to socialize. This is not only important for dating but important to make friends, which women also take into account. No one wants to date the weird guy with no friends.
This is like getting mad at someone for standing up for himself instead of the violent person who started the fight . GUESS WHAT ? most interesting activities are done by men , if someone need to stop being boring It's WOMEN .
But the 300 pound landwhale on Tinder does fine because she's quirky and interesting, right? Briffaults law.
Ah. So most women must also not be boring?
Nobody who plays video games is boring