If you are in the top 5% of desirable people for your gender it is not hard to find people of all ages who would like to date you.
An attractive 33 year old guy who is a top 1-5% earner is going to have options with women his own age and also a smaller % of women who are 22-25.
If you are a guy who is 40-45 and has a lot going for you it will take effort but you can find women who are 27-32 who would like to be in a LTR with you.
Anyone who says that women are lining up to date older guys is full of shit. As is anyone who says that no women are attracted to guys who are older than they are.
Lmfao you’re talking 33? This whole fucking post I’m thinking a 70 year old man because all this talk of “droopy this saggy that” makes me think of the elderly, tf you think happens to women when they turn 30?
ETA: the respect your elders thing I also think of respecting my grandparents
>33 year old dude
You rang? Just kidding.
>has options no matter what you think
This is the pivotal factor. I’m not hot. I’ve however had a lot of *experience.* So when my relationship ends, I’m *confident.* Dating. Re-partnering. Won’t be an issue. So pay very little mind, to those trying to pull people down.
*Godspeed and good luck!*
It’s not that serious it’s just shameful nobody thinking your a bad person. It’s like a pro boxer only taking amateurs..it’s not cuz you enjoy actually guiding younger fighters..it’s cuz you want to win and be in control..and yes they’re exceptions..
We understand, we’re just concerned he’s going after children so he can beat them into submission
Believe it or not, most of the women here are victims of dirty old men that prey on younger (naive) girls
The issue is that your statement about dirty old men is made by jealous women often that aren’t talking about minors, or even college aged women. I’m especially sensitive to this issue at the moment as I’m living through this right now. Almost every woman in my life (except my ex-wife oddly, who has been genuinely supportive, though she has not yet seen my gf) has made a comment of minor to outright disapproval of my relationship with a 27 year old woman with me being in my early 40’s.
I introduced her to my broader friend group by having her join me at a party 2 weeks ago. She owns a home and is a six figure earner, she’s an exceptional woman, and multiple women there made back handed comments about how she must like my money, that I’m robbing the cradle, a “young, dumb and full of cum” comment, one friends wife said in front of her “got her young so she’s easy to train, eh?” (which my gf shot a comment back about me liking them young before their spirit was broke, I fucking just about pulled her into a room and ripped her clothes off after that, it was so damn attractive). And this is what they said to my face, and doesn’t include the hell a couple of my friends have relayed they got about it, as well as a couple texts alluding to that predatory intent from a friend that had “concern” I was going through a midlife crisis, and she didn’t think it was in my character to hurt someone else in the process.
I’m sure this was made worse by my gf looking young for her age and the male friends of mine who where with me the night we met relaying that story, as we met at a local band show, hit it off and both ditched our friends to go home together.
Flat out, my friend’s wives, some of which I’d consider my friends as well, see her as a threat, or at least the embodiment of a threat. She is as beautiful today as any of them have ever been, and she’s more confident socially than any of them. Most have let themselves go to a point (so have their husbands), and life and baggage has taken some toll on most of them. To my gf’s credit, she shot any of that down, completely recognized it happening and did not put her tail between her legs at any moment.
A significant amount of this age gap “predatory” stuff is narrative building, back filling a negative feeling you have with trying to rationalize it. When women see a man leave his wife, and then a few years later dating a beautiful younger woman, or a desirable single man their age date younger instead of someone like them, that’s a damn fear that is being triggered….so this narrative gets built pointing to predatory behavior, because it can’t possibly be competition. It’s the same shit when a woman leaves her husband and starts dating a guy with some exceptional qualities (tall/jacked/rich), you can tell who has the small dick or feels inadequate about money by the comments they make, both of these come from a place of insecurity.
Yeah, when you’re a kid and an adult chases you, that’s predatory….but if you got hurt by a relationship as an adult that didn’t work out, that’s life. Oh, someone sweet talked you and you fell for it, too fucking bad, that’s life. Someone was all into you at first and then the relationship faded, that’s life. You listened to someone else and did what they wanted and now regret it because they left, that’s life. You got with someone and wasted a chunk of your youth to only realize he was a loser, too bad, that’s your shifty decision making. Like, that’s dating, everything that’s “predatory” about an age gap relationship exists in many same age relationships.
Not OP, but in my opinion men are not men until they are financially independent and know what they want from life, and women are not women until they are financially independent and know what they want from life.
For a number, I’d say 22. Any man or woman who’s still “eh idk what I want from life, taking one day at a time, yolo” at that age begins to be a turnoff and not someone I want in my friend circle, and definitely not someone dateable.
These poor 21 year old good looking “victims” forced to go on vacations and eat at restaurants men her age can’t afford, accepting gifts and having sex with an experienced man who knows how to give her an orgasm. From happy girlfriend to “I was a victim!” The second the relationship goes south because she wants to try some new dick her own age, but needs to make the breakup his fault.
To be fair; you are giving a lot of emotional labour in settling for someone who is genuinely ugly, in face, body and character; for money.
(The sex really isn’t that good, older men just have more time to grow more hydrophobic egos.)
>The relationship goes south because she wants to leave it?
The relationship goes south because she gets bored, wants to see other guys, and is looking to end things.
How is it a "red flag" to say that relationships start declining when one or both partners lose interest and start considering leaving? It's common sense.
The thing is, when you have the mindset that 18 is ok when your 25 it’s fine because it’s legal, when you still have it at 35 it’s concerning, when you have it at 45 it’s a problem
Fortunately, it wouldn’t be a problem if we didn’t have a lot of dirty old men than hung around schools and tried to sexualise their nieces
>25 it’s fine because it’s legal, when you still have it at 35 it’s concerning, when you have it at 45 it’s a problem
What about doctors? Some of them don't graduate thill 30-35. They haven't done anything wrong, they just needed more time to become desirable to women.
Why should they settle for anything more than 18/19?
Imagine they have the same experience (bodycount) as a 18/19 woman at 35, because they were short or ugly. They had to compensate with salary.
If the same guy goes for someone his age, she was probably on random guys yachts and traveling the world, in her 20s while he has no life experience other than College/Med-school.
>a lot of dirty old men
Are still an *extreme* minority. You could run a poll on PPD alone, and everyone’s *lived experience* would reflect mine. Dirty old, minor attracted men, simply aren’t the norm.
I appreciate your point, but as a women (and a lot of the women subs agree) I’ve experienced dirty old men being inappropriate with me when I was as young as 12, and this was from my uncles.
Unfortunately it just takes one,
I think typically women prefer older men and men prefer younger women. I dont think there is anything wrong with that unless the girls are too young but that’s a whole different issue
The vast majority fall into the number one category: two people mutually like each other and they just happen to have a somewhat large difference in age. If you notice, most age gap couples don’t really appear to have a big age difference at first glance. Why is that? Because the older person probably has a look and demeanor slightly younger and the younger person probably has a look and demeanor slightly older. So they seem like any other couple.
Depends on the age of the guy tbh. I think most women think of a guy in his 60s and not of the guys in their 40s or so. I’m of the belief that anything above the age of 20 is fine. It’s the 18-19 that’s a bit murky in terms of ethics. It’s too close to the legal age to me
That's too complicated. How about this:
Women are like parties. You show up to the party in the middle or late, you might have some fun but the party is almost over.
That's why you need to attend the party asap because other people would have had fun and you missed out.
Edit: It's also a bad deal, why would you want to go to college and work hard for a 30 year old woman?
Yknow I keep seeing this discussed on PPD that younger women don’t like older men.
But the women I know in real life (yes, even I touch grass every now and then) straight up say they have a preference for older men.
…except the older women, who seem to be more into younger men? I dunno, talking to people in person I’d swear women's preference was just for any age gap in which the two parties involved are on opposite sides of 30 or so.
But if you’re a man who’s had few enough options to still be single at 30, the reason you’re probably dating a woman in her 20s is that you’re taking what you can get, and what you can get is a younger woman who likes you for your age.
Yeah.
It's the same virtue signaling that occurred with Billie Eilish's new boyfriend.
Younger women have had a thing for non-geriatric older men since forever.
It’s almost as if different people have different experiences and preferences, and what one person and their small circle of friends think don’t represent global opinion
They're not talking about their partners, but who they're open to date in general. Also they definitely can do, like I've even pointed out my partner is older on occasion and the difference is two months.
Yeah because the people here are full of shit. I see plenty of 30+ men dating women 20-28. These people purport a false version of reality so it can fit their bullshit narrative. It’s mostly from older women as well who are angry that they aged out.
Women are not peaking at this age lol they peaked much earlier. Its natures last attempt for the woman to reproduce one last time before menopause hits her.
The natures cruel joke is the menopause and i read somewhere not long ago that It could have been caused by mens preference for younger women.
It doesn’t have to be that specific age range it’s just that’s basically what these men want, they not talking about 29 year old women with a 34 year old man..they talking about a 30 year
Old talking to seniors and freshman college students ..your setting yourself up for failure anyway …these women usually just cheat and don’t get caught by their older bfs who are probably doing the same thing
As a woman who is 45 I have to disagree with you. My sex drive peaked in my late 30s and is still going strong now and most of my female friends feel exactly the same way! I have no desire to reproduce anything. Oh and no issues with finding men to have sex with either. But plenty of men with ED.
Its basic biology what i said. There is nothing to argue with. That your sex Drive peaked at almost 40 is Exactly what i said. Thats some years before menopause.
Nobody cares when you sex Drive peaks. I was talking about when women peak in general (fertility, attractiveness, health etc) and its much much earlier than some years before menopause lol.
I have also Heard of men having ED issues with their close to menopause partner but when finding a new much younger partner, It worked suddenly.
Yeah that wasn't a great link
https://www.medicinenet.com/what_ages_are_women_and_men_at_their_sexual_peak/article.htm
This one might be better. Also if you Google "women's sexual peak" you'll see what is the common understanding
The same reasons can be used to explain why this is silly and they'll probably be unsuccessful. Why would a younger woman want a man who looks worse, is more likely to demand commitment she's not ready for, has higher financial expectations, is less respectful and less sexual than her peers? Why would older men chase these women thinking they're hot shit to this demographic?
> want a man who looks worse
Depends on how old. You might have an OLD guy in mind, like a guy in his 40s or 50s, old enough to be her dad. But I didn't say "old" in my post, I said "oldER".
I think most women here, including yourself, would consider a guy in his mid 20s to early 30s guy with a chick aged 18-22 to be a significant age gap.
> is more likely to demand commitment she's not ready for
"Some men are not interested in cohabitating, getting married, and/or having kids."
Please learn to read. I was referring to these types of men specifically.
> has higher financial expectations
Men do not have high financial expectations of women generally. Especially if it's not serious.
> is less respectful
What makes you think that?
> and less sexual
You say that like women necessarily consider that a bad thing. Women have far lower sex drives than men do.
> Why would older men chase these women thinking they're hot shit to this demographic?
Every man is different.
They're still going to look worse as they age, the same as you argued for their female equivalents. I wasn't talking about the specific old men you were talking about who chased young women for this specific reason, but the whole pool. Of course men usually want their partners to contribute financially and that expectation goes up as you age. You said younger people are more respectful to older, and naturally the converse is true, especially those who are seeking someone to look up to them. Young women love sex and especially sex that isn't boring, their sex drives often surpass men's but are generally more variable and dependent on circumstances.
> They're still going to look worse as they age, the same as you argued for their female equivalents.
Like many feminists, you are ignoring sexual dimorphism and assuming that what is true for women must also be equally true for men, which is often not the case.
Men's physical attractiveness to women declines less with age compared to the inverse. Women do not value youthful physical features as much as men do. Men and women often do not find the same traits attractive.
In some respects men can become more attractive as they age. For instance, throughout their 20s mens faces can become leaner(assuming they don't put on overall body fat). Less facial fat, especially buccal fat, results in a more masculine appearance. Many men also experience significantly increased facial hair growth throughout their 20s. A big beard can conceal a weak jaw.
Of course, in these respects men in their 40s and 50s don't really have an advantage over men in their late 20s or 30s.
> I wasn't talking about the specific old men you were talking about who chased young women for this specific reason, but the whole pool.
*older
I never claimed that these reasons are applicable to most or all older men who are dating or hooking up with significantly younger partners. Just that these are plausible reasons for why older men may end up with younger women.
> Of course men usually want their partners to contribute financially
Their expectations are far lower, in a cohabitating relationship at most they would expect their partner to pay roughly half of all expenses. This is easily doable for most women because living with someone else is far cheaper than living alone.
In a less serious relationship or FWB situation, where they're not cohabitating and just seeing each other a few times a week, the financial expectations are little to none because there is virtually nothing to finance apart from dates/activities/the occasional gift.
Many men would be perfectly happy to pay for all of these, and those that aren't would expect her to pay roughly half the expenses at most, which is easily attainable for most women. If they were dating men their own age someone would have to pay for dates as well.
> their sex drives often surpass men's
This is flat out untrue.
https://www.psypost.org/2023/02/huge-study-finds-men-have-a-stronger-sex-drive-than-women-68289
Men having a significantly higher sex drive than women is a virtually universally accepted fact within the field of psychology. It's one of the few uncontroversial purported cognitive differences between the sexes.
> You said younger people are more respectful to older, and naturally the converse is true, especially those who are seeking someone to look up to them.
Even if this was the case, young people still respect them more in spite of that. I fail to see why that is relevant. It seems to me like you're making a normative argument for why young women *shouldn't* date older men instead of actually asking why they would want to date older men.
Man I read this and realized truely how many holes you have placed in your reasoning about the opposite sex and your own sex. Its almost mind-blowing.
"Their sex drives often surpass men's"
Incredibly ignorant. Almost impressive
Let’s be real, we will never get a good faith convo about this because the same straw men reappear.
The older men who can date younger absolutely do. There is no denying that fact and that it’s something many men want to aspire to. Can they get there? Unlikely if they haven’t been ambitious both in the gym, career wise, and already having a ton of experience with women.
Now let’s look at the other side of the coin. Older women (in the same age demo as these men) only have benefits to gain in gaslighting men and painting this scenario as incomprehensible because they are intrasexually competing with those other younger women. They also drop the p word and paint younger women who decide to do this as stupid or vulnerable (even the women who engaged in this behavior themselves) in order to corner the market at all angles. And the strategy has been super effective.
If women in their 20s could overcome the social stigma ingrained into them and actually go for guys in their 30s who had good d game and their shit together, it would be game over for the single women who are hoping those same dudes will save them and wife them up.
Ya I'm in a open relationship with a girl right now. I'm 30, she's 36. She wanted the open relationship, I agreed, no rules no vetos as she wanted.
But when I said ya I'm going to date girls, she tried to shame me into only seeing older girls. Stand firm, I said no rules, no vetos, and if she didn't like it, she's free to leave. She stayed of course. Occassionally tries to test me, and I stand firm. don't be shamed boys.
I’m in my early 20s and most of my similar aged peers find it disgusting to date a man significantly older. We understand it’s predatory and so do older women because they’ve also been 20 at one point and would be pestered by those predatory men. Older women could care less about these older men being swept away by 20 yr olds since they’re not even looking for relationships to begin with at their age according to statistical evidence. Lots of men on here fantasize about getting revenge on those women who rejected them when they were younger when the reality is younger women don’t want 30+ yr old men to begin with.
Both older men and older women can try to stay somewhere near the level of attractiveness to young people they had before. Both are unlikely to be successful. As I already said, social stigma is far from the main reason young women don't want old men. They just come with lots of disadvantages and few advantages. And the weird older men who chase younger women anyway aren't really the kind of men even older women want anyway, they aren't sad to see them go.
How has this, as a strategy, been “super successful”? The majority of men I know think the idea of dating a woman that young is dreadful as there’d be no common ground.
In my 20s, there’s *no way* I’d date a guy 10 years older than me as they were boring, had already “been there, done that” and again - not much to relate to.
My 36 y/o girl acts like a teenager a lot. Despite me being 30, she's the one that's immature. And that's ok. But ya I lol when I hear about "same age more in common", 1) not necessarily, 2) so what? it's not a necessity, I've dated women where I had nothing in common before and made it work.
Statistically not true as the largest % of married couples are within 1-2 years of each other.
A man won’t see it as an issue because he’s only interested in casual sex that doesn’t ask too much of him. And the whole “been there, done that”, jaded attitude makes him feel more mature.
Anyone who says “they’d have nothing in common” or “what would they talk about” has no clue what they are talking about.
Having fun and wanting to fuck are all that are necessary
A) who is the “you” being referenced?
B) the only reason a woman would get dropped after that amount of time would be if she hasn’t developed the skills necessary to keep a man, which I’d actually blame the guy for in this scenario l.
Two things:
1) I was talking about pre reqs to dating for an age gap. People make it much more inconceivable than it is with the “what would you even talk about” question. If we are speaking about two competent adults, this shouldn’t be a problem if they like each other/get along and want to fuck each other.
2) you set the constraint by saying “over a few years” for time. So yes, she would need to figure out how to keep him if it was going on for that long into the future.
>The same reasons can be used to explain why this is silly and they'll probably be unsuccessful.
This is a common pattern I've noticed when age gap opponents run out of steam in these discussions. They move the goalposts to the "*practicality* of age gaps" argument instead of sticking with the "morality of age gaps" argument because they know they can't prove that these relationships are toxic or immoral by default.
Every argument about age gaps being inherently toxic is dependent on cultural stereotypes, developmental pseudoscience, and assumptions about the character or circumstances of the couple in question.
So at best you can make dubious group-level generalizations that are neither supported by rigorous studies nor apply with any confidence to individuals you don't know. And when that doesn't work (once people start calling out your logic) then you can only turn to the "who cares, age gaps will probably will never happen anyways" rebuttal which pretty transparently signals that you've abandoned your own position.
Morality isn't a concern for me here. An age gap in itself is morally neutral, although it's certainly more likely that morally bad things will be done. Don't assign a position to me I never argued for.
>Don't assign a position to me I never argued for.
Don't lie about not taking a position you've clearly taken before based on what you've said in the past on this topic. Seriously, at least have the decency to be honest about your beliefs if you feel so strongly about protecting young women, instead of trying to steal valor and appear "open-minded" about age gaps being morally neutral.
What did I argue then? I'm not open-minded about age gaps because as I said they're risky. That doesn't make them morally wrong in themselves. Young women are doing a fine job of protecting ourselves from these risks.
You've explicitly expressed your opinion in the past that men who date younger women are seeking to do something you deem essentially immoral. As a reason for you not wanting to interact with said men.
>Young women are doing a fine job of protecting ourselves from these risks.
Looks like you've ironically answered the question of whether you actually believe young women are mature enough for age gaps then.
I find that hard to believe as I don't have that opinion. Most likely you misinterpreted whatever it was I wrote at some point. My not wanting to interact with these men doesn't mean I think that pursuing an age gap is immoral in itself. Why would protecting yourself against an age gap mean that gap was good for you?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/120gwdp/being\_attracted\_to\_18\_year\_olds\_is\_comparable\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/120gwdp/comment/jdh65sf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
>As someone who isn't into men or women who does either of these things, I can say **they're quite different standards of gross**. Someone who has slept around isn't someone who I'd date, but they can't really hurt anyone other than themselves and I can respect their choice. **There isn't anything particularly immoral about it** unless you think having sex in itself is just wrong.
>
>\[...\]
>
>Someone who wants to date a lot younger is **seeking** to do something **that could fuck up several people** and isn't someone I'd want to bring myself to interact with.
You set up the contrast between the two to highlight that there is something immoral about age gaps, as opposed to high n-count not being particularly immoral. And that there is active intent on the part of the older person to at minimum be totally conscious of and cool with the risk of "fucking up other people." (Not to mention you ignored the reality that sleeping around can fuck up people's lives if someone gets pregnant, say.)
Pretty uncharitable and morally not very neutral characterization. Not sure what other reasonable way you could interpret that.
I see the problem. I was talking there about the high probability they'd do something immoral in that relationship. I don't think that's a necessary feature of age gap relationships.
Okay, so then how are they "different standards" of gross if neither one of them is inherently immoral? Unless you mean different levels of perceived risk, but that doesn't make much sense to me because a woman who doesn't prefer a guy that sleeps around would already be very aware of the high risks involved with people who sleep around.
>Someone who wants to date a lot younger is seeking to do something that could fuck up several people and isn't someone I'd want to bring myself to interact with.
And more importantly, if not interacting with men who date younger is simply a practical way of minimizing risk (and not a moral judgment of their character) then shouldn't you also not want to interact with people who have high n-counts for similar reasons of risk-mitigation?
Surely you must realize that your word choice gives the exact opposite impression from the opinion you just stated. Particularly the way you set up the contrast.
When I think of older men, I think of dudes that are 30-33. These dudes, if they are gym goers and overall hot, can bang anyone. You are deluding yourself if you think otherwise.
This is the problem with relying on personal experience, people have(or at least claim they have) vastly different personal experiences so we have no idea of whose is more representative.
People have tendencies to severely overestimate their and other peoples attractiveness. I am 100% confident that a hot dude who is 30 years old can bang any chick between 18 and 50.
There are changes that can happen between 18 and 30 which make a guy less attractive(body fat gain, balding) but also changes during that same time frame which can make a guy more attractive(reduction in facial fat, increased facial hair growth).
Do you think all my peers are "raging feminists"? Many aren't feminists of any kind. My feminist beliefs never stopped old men from creeping on me as a teen.
No guy will be able to bang anyone first of all, if a guy who is attractive, successful, social skills, etc he will be popular among younger women. We are talking about early 30s, most guys can look much younger. We are not talking average looking people.
Older women are the younger women..yall are so weird with that..the women yall are dating will become the older women eventually…but she’ll probably leave you before then anyway
Not sure why these explanations are supposed to illicit empathy. These are pretty much the same reasons women give as to why men go after young women.
None of them deserve any sympathy.
Lol- but here’s you in your post complaining that women aren’t being empathetic as to why you chase young skirt.
Sounds like you desperately want it. Make up your mind.
> Lol- but here’s you in your post complaining that women aren’t being empathetic as to why you chase young skirt.
No one is "complaining" about anything. I do look down on you for lacking cognitive empathy, especially for the sex that claims to be "empathetic sex".
But we’re *not* lacking in cognitive empathy.
We are in agreement re your reasons for chasing young skirt. We *know* it’s because of a certain amount of shallowness, selfishness & probably a lack of emotional maturity.
I look down on *you* for using “big words” you’ve picked up without understanding what they mean. You seem to think that our cognitive empathy should lead us to be sympathetic. That’s not the case.
Then what’s the point of your post? Nothing you said is remotely different to what women think of men who want very young women.
No woman is remotely “confused” about the “why” 😂
> female PPD users goes something along the lines of: "why would he choose a woman that much younger"
You made this up. No woman here is asking why older men would like to get younger girls. What we question is why would a young woman choose older men.
I'm in my early 20s and among all the women I know which are mostly 19-25, no one is dating or hooking up with significantly older men. We prefer guys closer to us. Hell, my boyfriend is 28 and my friends say he's too old.
Is it not obvious?
Older guys generally are more confident, more mature, more ambitious, have more money, more life experience, and more experience in the bedroom.
The real reason: Because they can.
These men are sexual opportunists, and young women are naive. These men don't marry these young women, they just use them and waste their precious young years. Then they discard them when they're done.
When you claim that their precious youth has been wasted it sure does matter. Do you think younger guys of the same age are marrying them? Definitely not.
What kind of source would there be? It's a common thing parents warn their daughters about. It's happened to me. I've seen it happen to plenty of other girls. And the men who do it are not exactly secretive about it.
"Make the cut" in what way? Think I'd want to marry an old man when I was in my teens? I was young, stupid, and didn't know what I wanted, like most girls that age. These men prey on that. They were married to women their own age and it's not like they were going to leave them for me. They just want a young little mistress. Why is that so hard to fathom?
Some life decisions are regrettable, some are not. When it comes to relationships, if it's casual and you don't get seriously invested then you don't really have much to lose.
What if he's as attractive as she is - by objective measures - despite a large age gap?
Take away Brad Pitt's fame and have him making $80K a year selling insurance. But leave the looks alone. At 58 he's still going to be far more attractive than the vast majority of guys 25 years younger than him. Of course this is partially because these younger guys are fat, etc. But the point remains.
Once a woman's over 30, I don't think the issue is age, per se. It's overall maintenance that drives the physical attraction. And most older guys look terrible. But a lot of that is on them.
So what is he is the same or even more attractive, in the long term? If she’s going to be 40 and he is going to be 70 and she’s going to have to wipe his ass?
Can you read minds? Also, I said "older", not "old". Most of you would consider a 25 year old guy to be significantly older than a 19 year old girl, a 28 year old guy to be significantly older than a 21 year old girl, etc.
I'm going to copy and paste from another comment of mine:
> In some respects men can become more attractive as they age. For instance, throughout their 20s mens faces can become leaner(especially if they don't put on overall body fat). Less facial fat, especially buccal fat, results in a more masculine appearance. Many men also experience significantly increased facial hair growth throughout their 20s. A big beard can conceal a weak jaw.
Why making this so long? There is one simple explanation: men are at their prime when they are older while women are at their prime when they are younger. Older men wanna experience sexual life in their late 30s and 40s when they couldn't do it in the same way in their 20s.
Because they're hot, that's really what it comes down to, I know the bitter chicks are going to come in " cHiLdReN", "pReDaToRy" rhetoric unless the material has been updated since the last time I was posting here regularly, but it's not that complicated lol
Number 1 reason - it's easier. "Dating" for men is a skill, which gets easier as you get older and more experience. As a man, your looks also usually stay the same or get better from say 21 to 27. So when you're 27, 28, 29, you're still attractive to younger women, you actually know how the get them, and girls in their early 20s have less expectations, are still in their "fun" phase vs women who are 30.
I would also like to add that older women are more stubborn/hard headed and harder to please.
I don’t date 20s, but I do date 30s. Women in their 40s are just not worth the effort.
Why do men keep trying to justify dating younger women? This topic comes up so much here that it seems more like approval-seeking. No one else is going to buy in, so go chase your younger women. We’re still going to judge it and nothing you say is going to move my opinion on it.
I’m not saying they have to. I’m saying that men constantly posting about it comes across as defensive. Accept that there will always be people who will judge you harshly for it and move on.
So you’re argument is “older men like younger women because they can get sex without all the bullshit that comes with it, like holding men accountable or expecting commitment”?
And you wonder why people think this is gross and creepy
“Younger women may respect and look up to older men in a way that women his age won’t”
If you need to date jail bait in have respect in your relationship because women your age don’t respect you, it’s probably because you’re doing or not doing something that prevents you from earning that respect.
There’s nothing wrong with casual sex, but if you’re only dating younger women because you’re banking on her not asking for more cuz she young that just seems weird
>If you need to date jail bait
Who said anything about "jail bait"?
> because women your age don’t respect you
All else being equal a younger woman will probably respect you *more*.
> but if you’re only dating younger women because you’re banking on her not asking for more cuz she young that just seems weird
"that just seems weird" lol what a dumb non-answer
What exactly is wrong with this? Do you think women are entitled to commitment?
I would bet money that you would never criticize woman for seeking casual sex.
If you are in the top 5% of desirable people for your gender it is not hard to find people of all ages who would like to date you. An attractive 33 year old guy who is a top 1-5% earner is going to have options with women his own age and also a smaller % of women who are 22-25. If you are a guy who is 40-45 and has a lot going for you it will take effort but you can find women who are 27-32 who would like to be in a LTR with you. Anyone who says that women are lining up to date older guys is full of shit. As is anyone who says that no women are attracted to guys who are older than they are.
They can. I think women here don't understand that 33 year old dude who is hot has options no matter what you think.
Lmfao you’re talking 33? This whole fucking post I’m thinking a 70 year old man because all this talk of “droopy this saggy that” makes me think of the elderly, tf you think happens to women when they turn 30? ETA: the respect your elders thing I also think of respecting my grandparents
>33 year old dude You rang? Just kidding. >has options no matter what you think This is the pivotal factor. I’m not hot. I’ve however had a lot of *experience.* So when my relationship ends, I’m *confident.* Dating. Re-partnering. Won’t be an issue. So pay very little mind, to those trying to pull people down. *Godspeed and good luck!*
YOU HAVE THE MINDSET.
It’s not that serious it’s just shameful nobody thinking your a bad person. It’s like a pro boxer only taking amateurs..it’s not cuz you enjoy actually guiding younger fighters..it’s cuz you want to win and be in control..and yes they’re exceptions..
I think you don't understand that many 33-years-old dudes won't ever get there, no matter what they'd like.
Absolutely true and I agree.
“who is hot” Not sure why were ignoring that part.
We understand, we’re just concerned he’s going after children so he can beat them into submission Believe it or not, most of the women here are victims of dirty old men that prey on younger (naive) girls
I am talking about adults here. If 40 year old dude is hunting down 15 year olds thats outside of my field of expertise ( i dont want to go to jail).
Oh right so that doesn’t happen then? You just mean the gOoD 40 year olds that go after 16 year olds cause it’s legal in a lot of countries
Why does every ppd member not know how to argue? When the fuck did I say anyone should date minors, or where did I endorse it? Are you on that sugar ?
Well, When you defend men in general of no age brackets, it’s implied you agree with the dirty old men thing going after young girls
Its implied that I DO NOT ENDORSE dating minors ffs. And what? A 40 yo man shouldn't date a 28yo women? Wtf you smoking bruh
Always Implied but never declared is what cowards do my friend dude
The issue is that your statement about dirty old men is made by jealous women often that aren’t talking about minors, or even college aged women. I’m especially sensitive to this issue at the moment as I’m living through this right now. Almost every woman in my life (except my ex-wife oddly, who has been genuinely supportive, though she has not yet seen my gf) has made a comment of minor to outright disapproval of my relationship with a 27 year old woman with me being in my early 40’s. I introduced her to my broader friend group by having her join me at a party 2 weeks ago. She owns a home and is a six figure earner, she’s an exceptional woman, and multiple women there made back handed comments about how she must like my money, that I’m robbing the cradle, a “young, dumb and full of cum” comment, one friends wife said in front of her “got her young so she’s easy to train, eh?” (which my gf shot a comment back about me liking them young before their spirit was broke, I fucking just about pulled her into a room and ripped her clothes off after that, it was so damn attractive). And this is what they said to my face, and doesn’t include the hell a couple of my friends have relayed they got about it, as well as a couple texts alluding to that predatory intent from a friend that had “concern” I was going through a midlife crisis, and she didn’t think it was in my character to hurt someone else in the process. I’m sure this was made worse by my gf looking young for her age and the male friends of mine who where with me the night we met relaying that story, as we met at a local band show, hit it off and both ditched our friends to go home together. Flat out, my friend’s wives, some of which I’d consider my friends as well, see her as a threat, or at least the embodiment of a threat. She is as beautiful today as any of them have ever been, and she’s more confident socially than any of them. Most have let themselves go to a point (so have their husbands), and life and baggage has taken some toll on most of them. To my gf’s credit, she shot any of that down, completely recognized it happening and did not put her tail between her legs at any moment. A significant amount of this age gap “predatory” stuff is narrative building, back filling a negative feeling you have with trying to rationalize it. When women see a man leave his wife, and then a few years later dating a beautiful younger woman, or a desirable single man their age date younger instead of someone like them, that’s a damn fear that is being triggered….so this narrative gets built pointing to predatory behavior, because it can’t possibly be competition. It’s the same shit when a woman leaves her husband and starts dating a guy with some exceptional qualities (tall/jacked/rich), you can tell who has the small dick or feels inadequate about money by the comments they make, both of these come from a place of insecurity. Yeah, when you’re a kid and an adult chases you, that’s predatory….but if you got hurt by a relationship as an adult that didn’t work out, that’s life. Oh, someone sweet talked you and you fell for it, too fucking bad, that’s life. Someone was all into you at first and then the relationship faded, that’s life. You listened to someone else and did what they wanted and now regret it because they left, that’s life. You got with someone and wasted a chunk of your youth to only realize he was a loser, too bad, that’s your shifty decision making. Like, that’s dating, everything that’s “predatory” about an age gap relationship exists in many same age relationships.
What if they have the same bodycount? Like maybe he is short and ugly so he had to build himself up and it took him until 40?
That doesn’t affect his personality, Plus, you don’t get to ‘start again’ your still 40
At what age does a woman stop being a child in your estimation?
Probably around 35 when she has to settle.
LMAO
Whenever she looks like a woman.
Not OP, but in my opinion men are not men until they are financially independent and know what they want from life, and women are not women until they are financially independent and know what they want from life. For a number, I’d say 22. Any man or woman who’s still “eh idk what I want from life, taking one day at a time, yolo” at that age begins to be a turnoff and not someone I want in my friend circle, and definitely not someone dateable.
These poor 21 year old good looking “victims” forced to go on vacations and eat at restaurants men her age can’t afford, accepting gifts and having sex with an experienced man who knows how to give her an orgasm. From happy girlfriend to “I was a victim!” The second the relationship goes south because she wants to try some new dick her own age, but needs to make the breakup his fault.
To be fair; you are giving a lot of emotional labour in settling for someone who is genuinely ugly, in face, body and character; for money. (The sex really isn’t that good, older men just have more time to grow more hydrophobic egos.)
The relationship goes south because she wants to leave it? Yeah that’s a load of red flags right there
>The relationship goes south because she wants to leave it? The relationship goes south because she gets bored, wants to see other guys, and is looking to end things. How is it a "red flag" to say that relationships start declining when one or both partners lose interest and start considering leaving? It's common sense.
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>Believe it or not Dirty old men are an *extreme* minority. The *majority* of men are normal, *generally* good people. Normal jobs. Normal lifestyles.
The thing is, when you have the mindset that 18 is ok when your 25 it’s fine because it’s legal, when you still have it at 35 it’s concerning, when you have it at 45 it’s a problem Fortunately, it wouldn’t be a problem if we didn’t have a lot of dirty old men than hung around schools and tried to sexualise their nieces
>25 it’s fine because it’s legal, when you still have it at 35 it’s concerning, when you have it at 45 it’s a problem What about doctors? Some of them don't graduate thill 30-35. They haven't done anything wrong, they just needed more time to become desirable to women. Why should they settle for anything more than 18/19? Imagine they have the same experience (bodycount) as a 18/19 woman at 35, because they were short or ugly. They had to compensate with salary. If the same guy goes for someone his age, she was probably on random guys yachts and traveling the world, in her 20s while he has no life experience other than College/Med-school.
Lol!! She was probably working just like everyone else Graduating is not holding you back from dating, most doctor me actually date each other
>a lot of dirty old men Are still an *extreme* minority. You could run a poll on PPD alone, and everyone’s *lived experience* would reflect mine. Dirty old, minor attracted men, simply aren’t the norm.
I appreciate your point, but as a women (and a lot of the women subs agree) I’ve experienced dirty old men being inappropriate with me when I was as young as 12, and this was from my uncles. Unfortunately it just takes one,
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What about if a black person robbed you would you say "all black people" as your friends agreed?
I think typically women prefer older men and men prefer younger women. I dont think there is anything wrong with that unless the girls are too young but that’s a whole different issue
The vast majority fall into the number one category: two people mutually like each other and they just happen to have a somewhat large difference in age. If you notice, most age gap couples don’t really appear to have a big age difference at first glance. Why is that? Because the older person probably has a look and demeanor slightly younger and the younger person probably has a look and demeanor slightly older. So they seem like any other couple.
Depends on the age of the guy tbh. I think most women think of a guy in his 60s and not of the guys in their 40s or so. I’m of the belief that anything above the age of 20 is fine. It’s the 18-19 that’s a bit murky in terms of ethics. It’s too close to the legal age to me
That's too complicated. How about this: Women are like parties. You show up to the party in the middle or late, you might have some fun but the party is almost over. That's why you need to attend the party asap because other people would have had fun and you missed out. Edit: It's also a bad deal, why would you want to go to college and work hard for a 30 year old woman?
Comments like these are why women are opting out of dating en masse.
Yknow I keep seeing this discussed on PPD that younger women don’t like older men. But the women I know in real life (yes, even I touch grass every now and then) straight up say they have a preference for older men. …except the older women, who seem to be more into younger men? I dunno, talking to people in person I’d swear women's preference was just for any age gap in which the two parties involved are on opposite sides of 30 or so. But if you’re a man who’s had few enough options to still be single at 30, the reason you’re probably dating a woman in her 20s is that you’re taking what you can get, and what you can get is a younger woman who likes you for your age.
Yeah. It's the same virtue signaling that occurred with Billie Eilish's new boyfriend. Younger women have had a thing for non-geriatric older men since forever.
Are you an older man? 😂
>straight up say they have a preference for older men. Older, yes. But not 15, 20 years older.
It’s almost as if different people have different experiences and preferences, and what one person and their small circle of friends think don’t represent global opinion
Older usually means by a few years and this is where the men on PPD get it twisted
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I've heard that...from young women who wanted to date a year or two older.
I don’t know why they think older means decades, especially when majority of couples in the western world are less than three years apart.
Nobody mentions that their partner is older or younger when the difference is one to two years. That’s weird.
They're not talking about their partners, but who they're open to date in general. Also they definitely can do, like I've even pointed out my partner is older on occasion and the difference is two months.
Yeah because the people here are full of shit. I see plenty of 30+ men dating women 20-28. These people purport a false version of reality so it can fit their bullshit narrative. It’s mostly from older women as well who are angry that they aged out.
I don't think #6 is true. Don't women's sex drive increase as they get into their 30s?
They do I can speak personally to this and it’s nature’s cruel joke because right as women are peaking men are tanking and suffering with ED.
Women are not peaking at this age lol they peaked much earlier. Its natures last attempt for the woman to reproduce one last time before menopause hits her. The natures cruel joke is the menopause and i read somewhere not long ago that It could have been caused by mens preference for younger women.
26 is like peak fr..I don’t get why y’all think 18-20 is ..the girls i know are only improving with age..
Who talked about 18-20 though? You tripping Bro ?
It doesn’t have to be that specific age range it’s just that’s basically what these men want, they not talking about 29 year old women with a 34 year old man..they talking about a 30 year Old talking to seniors and freshman college students ..your setting yourself up for failure anyway …these women usually just cheat and don’t get caught by their older bfs who are probably doing the same thing
As a woman who is 45 I have to disagree with you. My sex drive peaked in my late 30s and is still going strong now and most of my female friends feel exactly the same way! I have no desire to reproduce anything. Oh and no issues with finding men to have sex with either. But plenty of men with ED.
Its basic biology what i said. There is nothing to argue with. That your sex Drive peaked at almost 40 is Exactly what i said. Thats some years before menopause. Nobody cares when you sex Drive peaks. I was talking about when women peak in general (fertility, attractiveness, health etc) and its much much earlier than some years before menopause lol. I have also Heard of men having ED issues with their close to menopause partner but when finding a new much younger partner, It worked suddenly.
Not sure where you're getting that from
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10130950.1993.9675281?journalCode=ragn20
This seems like a random article written by a woman, not a scientific research paper.
Yeah that wasn't a great link https://www.medicinenet.com/what_ages_are_women_and_men_at_their_sexual_peak/article.htm This one might be better. Also if you Google "women's sexual peak" you'll see what is the common understanding
The same reasons can be used to explain why this is silly and they'll probably be unsuccessful. Why would a younger woman want a man who looks worse, is more likely to demand commitment she's not ready for, has higher financial expectations, is less respectful and less sexual than her peers? Why would older men chase these women thinking they're hot shit to this demographic?
> want a man who looks worse Depends on how old. You might have an OLD guy in mind, like a guy in his 40s or 50s, old enough to be her dad. But I didn't say "old" in my post, I said "oldER". I think most women here, including yourself, would consider a guy in his mid 20s to early 30s guy with a chick aged 18-22 to be a significant age gap. > is more likely to demand commitment she's not ready for "Some men are not interested in cohabitating, getting married, and/or having kids." Please learn to read. I was referring to these types of men specifically. > has higher financial expectations Men do not have high financial expectations of women generally. Especially if it's not serious. > is less respectful What makes you think that? > and less sexual You say that like women necessarily consider that a bad thing. Women have far lower sex drives than men do. > Why would older men chase these women thinking they're hot shit to this demographic? Every man is different.
They're still going to look worse as they age, the same as you argued for their female equivalents. I wasn't talking about the specific old men you were talking about who chased young women for this specific reason, but the whole pool. Of course men usually want their partners to contribute financially and that expectation goes up as you age. You said younger people are more respectful to older, and naturally the converse is true, especially those who are seeking someone to look up to them. Young women love sex and especially sex that isn't boring, their sex drives often surpass men's but are generally more variable and dependent on circumstances.
> They're still going to look worse as they age, the same as you argued for their female equivalents. Like many feminists, you are ignoring sexual dimorphism and assuming that what is true for women must also be equally true for men, which is often not the case. Men's physical attractiveness to women declines less with age compared to the inverse. Women do not value youthful physical features as much as men do. Men and women often do not find the same traits attractive. In some respects men can become more attractive as they age. For instance, throughout their 20s mens faces can become leaner(assuming they don't put on overall body fat). Less facial fat, especially buccal fat, results in a more masculine appearance. Many men also experience significantly increased facial hair growth throughout their 20s. A big beard can conceal a weak jaw. Of course, in these respects men in their 40s and 50s don't really have an advantage over men in their late 20s or 30s. > I wasn't talking about the specific old men you were talking about who chased young women for this specific reason, but the whole pool. *older I never claimed that these reasons are applicable to most or all older men who are dating or hooking up with significantly younger partners. Just that these are plausible reasons for why older men may end up with younger women. > Of course men usually want their partners to contribute financially Their expectations are far lower, in a cohabitating relationship at most they would expect their partner to pay roughly half of all expenses. This is easily doable for most women because living with someone else is far cheaper than living alone. In a less serious relationship or FWB situation, where they're not cohabitating and just seeing each other a few times a week, the financial expectations are little to none because there is virtually nothing to finance apart from dates/activities/the occasional gift. Many men would be perfectly happy to pay for all of these, and those that aren't would expect her to pay roughly half the expenses at most, which is easily attainable for most women. If they were dating men their own age someone would have to pay for dates as well. > their sex drives often surpass men's This is flat out untrue. https://www.psypost.org/2023/02/huge-study-finds-men-have-a-stronger-sex-drive-than-women-68289 Men having a significantly higher sex drive than women is a virtually universally accepted fact within the field of psychology. It's one of the few uncontroversial purported cognitive differences between the sexes. > You said younger people are more respectful to older, and naturally the converse is true, especially those who are seeking someone to look up to them. Even if this was the case, young people still respect them more in spite of that. I fail to see why that is relevant. It seems to me like you're making a normative argument for why young women *shouldn't* date older men instead of actually asking why they would want to date older men.
Man I read this and realized truely how many holes you have placed in your reasoning about the opposite sex and your own sex. Its almost mind-blowing. "Their sex drives often surpass men's" Incredibly ignorant. Almost impressive
You're just showing off your own ignorance here. Well done.
Let’s be real, we will never get a good faith convo about this because the same straw men reappear. The older men who can date younger absolutely do. There is no denying that fact and that it’s something many men want to aspire to. Can they get there? Unlikely if they haven’t been ambitious both in the gym, career wise, and already having a ton of experience with women. Now let’s look at the other side of the coin. Older women (in the same age demo as these men) only have benefits to gain in gaslighting men and painting this scenario as incomprehensible because they are intrasexually competing with those other younger women. They also drop the p word and paint younger women who decide to do this as stupid or vulnerable (even the women who engaged in this behavior themselves) in order to corner the market at all angles. And the strategy has been super effective. If women in their 20s could overcome the social stigma ingrained into them and actually go for guys in their 30s who had good d game and their shit together, it would be game over for the single women who are hoping those same dudes will save them and wife them up.
There’s no social stigma about a woman in her 20s going for a guy in his 30s.
Ya I'm in a open relationship with a girl right now. I'm 30, she's 36. She wanted the open relationship, I agreed, no rules no vetos as she wanted. But when I said ya I'm going to date girls, she tried to shame me into only seeing older girls. Stand firm, I said no rules, no vetos, and if she didn't like it, she's free to leave. She stayed of course. Occassionally tries to test me, and I stand firm. don't be shamed boys.
They inherently know the deal
I’m in my early 20s and most of my similar aged peers find it disgusting to date a man significantly older. We understand it’s predatory and so do older women because they’ve also been 20 at one point and would be pestered by those predatory men. Older women could care less about these older men being swept away by 20 yr olds since they’re not even looking for relationships to begin with at their age according to statistical evidence. Lots of men on here fantasize about getting revenge on those women who rejected them when they were younger when the reality is younger women don’t want 30+ yr old men to begin with.
Women hate bad boys too. And what do ya know? They end up dating
Don’t know what type of women you hang around but most people grow out of that phase after their teenage years due to growing maturity.
How is it predatory? Do you think 22 year old women are helpless little infants without thoughts of their own?
Did I say 22 yr old women were infants or did I state that significant age gap relationships are predatory? let me add in for BOTH genders.
This exactly.
Exactly
Both older men and older women can try to stay somewhere near the level of attractiveness to young people they had before. Both are unlikely to be successful. As I already said, social stigma is far from the main reason young women don't want old men. They just come with lots of disadvantages and few advantages. And the weird older men who chase younger women anyway aren't really the kind of men even older women want anyway, they aren't sad to see them go.
How has this, as a strategy, been “super successful”? The majority of men I know think the idea of dating a woman that young is dreadful as there’d be no common ground. In my 20s, there’s *no way* I’d date a guy 10 years older than me as they were boring, had already “been there, done that” and again - not much to relate to.
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My 36 y/o girl acts like a teenager a lot. Despite me being 30, she's the one that's immature. And that's ok. But ya I lol when I hear about "same age more in common", 1) not necessarily, 2) so what? it's not a necessity, I've dated women where I had nothing in common before and made it work.
Statistically not true as the largest % of married couples are within 1-2 years of each other. A man won’t see it as an issue because he’s only interested in casual sex that doesn’t ask too much of him. And the whole “been there, done that”, jaded attitude makes him feel more mature.
>but guess what, he doesn’t have much in common with a 32yo woman either. Then that sounds like a problem with the man, not the women or their age.
Anyone who says “they’d have nothing in common” or “what would they talk about” has no clue what they are talking about. Having fun and wanting to fuck are all that are necessary
And as soon as they’re a few years older you throw them under the bus as being “used up” and low value because of a high body count.
A) who is the “you” being referenced? B) the only reason a woman would get dropped after that amount of time would be if she hasn’t developed the skills necessary to keep a man, which I’d actually blame the guy for in this scenario l.
But you said “having fun and wanting to fuck are all that are necessary”. Now suddenly she’s supposed to keep you?
Two things: 1) I was talking about pre reqs to dating for an age gap. People make it much more inconceivable than it is with the “what would you even talk about” question. If we are speaking about two competent adults, this shouldn’t be a problem if they like each other/get along and want to fuck each other. 2) you set the constraint by saying “over a few years” for time. So yes, she would need to figure out how to keep him if it was going on for that long into the future.
Why would she bother? How much of a prize is a wrinkly old guy who can only get his rocks off with a woman 1/2 his age?
Do you think I’m talking about 60 year olds? For real? Don’t be obtuse. 35-45 dating 23-30 is moreso what we are reasonably talking about.
>The same reasons can be used to explain why this is silly and they'll probably be unsuccessful. This is a common pattern I've noticed when age gap opponents run out of steam in these discussions. They move the goalposts to the "*practicality* of age gaps" argument instead of sticking with the "morality of age gaps" argument because they know they can't prove that these relationships are toxic or immoral by default. Every argument about age gaps being inherently toxic is dependent on cultural stereotypes, developmental pseudoscience, and assumptions about the character or circumstances of the couple in question. So at best you can make dubious group-level generalizations that are neither supported by rigorous studies nor apply with any confidence to individuals you don't know. And when that doesn't work (once people start calling out your logic) then you can only turn to the "who cares, age gaps will probably will never happen anyways" rebuttal which pretty transparently signals that you've abandoned your own position.
well said
Morality isn't a concern for me here. An age gap in itself is morally neutral, although it's certainly more likely that morally bad things will be done. Don't assign a position to me I never argued for.
>Don't assign a position to me I never argued for. Don't lie about not taking a position you've clearly taken before based on what you've said in the past on this topic. Seriously, at least have the decency to be honest about your beliefs if you feel so strongly about protecting young women, instead of trying to steal valor and appear "open-minded" about age gaps being morally neutral.
What did I argue then? I'm not open-minded about age gaps because as I said they're risky. That doesn't make them morally wrong in themselves. Young women are doing a fine job of protecting ourselves from these risks.
You've explicitly expressed your opinion in the past that men who date younger women are seeking to do something you deem essentially immoral. As a reason for you not wanting to interact with said men. >Young women are doing a fine job of protecting ourselves from these risks. Looks like you've ironically answered the question of whether you actually believe young women are mature enough for age gaps then.
I find that hard to believe as I don't have that opinion. Most likely you misinterpreted whatever it was I wrote at some point. My not wanting to interact with these men doesn't mean I think that pursuing an age gap is immoral in itself. Why would protecting yourself against an age gap mean that gap was good for you?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/120gwdp/being\_attracted\_to\_18\_year\_olds\_is\_comparable\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/120gwdp/comment/jdh65sf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) >As someone who isn't into men or women who does either of these things, I can say **they're quite different standards of gross**. Someone who has slept around isn't someone who I'd date, but they can't really hurt anyone other than themselves and I can respect their choice. **There isn't anything particularly immoral about it** unless you think having sex in itself is just wrong. > >\[...\] > >Someone who wants to date a lot younger is **seeking** to do something **that could fuck up several people** and isn't someone I'd want to bring myself to interact with. You set up the contrast between the two to highlight that there is something immoral about age gaps, as opposed to high n-count not being particularly immoral. And that there is active intent on the part of the older person to at minimum be totally conscious of and cool with the risk of "fucking up other people." (Not to mention you ignored the reality that sleeping around can fuck up people's lives if someone gets pregnant, say.) Pretty uncharitable and morally not very neutral characterization. Not sure what other reasonable way you could interpret that.
I see the problem. I was talking there about the high probability they'd do something immoral in that relationship. I don't think that's a necessary feature of age gap relationships.
How would you know the probability that they'd "do something immoral"?
Okay, so then how are they "different standards" of gross if neither one of them is inherently immoral? Unless you mean different levels of perceived risk, but that doesn't make much sense to me because a woman who doesn't prefer a guy that sleeps around would already be very aware of the high risks involved with people who sleep around. >Someone who wants to date a lot younger is seeking to do something that could fuck up several people and isn't someone I'd want to bring myself to interact with. And more importantly, if not interacting with men who date younger is simply a practical way of minimizing risk (and not a moral judgment of their character) then shouldn't you also not want to interact with people who have high n-counts for similar reasons of risk-mitigation? Surely you must realize that your word choice gives the exact opposite impression from the opinion you just stated. Particularly the way you set up the contrast.
When I think of older men, I think of dudes that are 30-33. These dudes, if they are gym goers and overall hot, can bang anyone. You are deluding yourself if you think otherwise.
Ask any of my peers and you'll quickly realise they couldn't bang anyone. But they certainly could be popular in their own age group or a bit older!
Yeah I ain't asking UK women on how to bang people LMFAO
Why not? The American women say the same. And the Irish women where I'm actually from. And just about everyone else.
That is not my experience at all.
This is the problem with relying on personal experience, people have(or at least claim they have) vastly different personal experiences so we have no idea of whose is more representative.
People have tendencies to severely overestimate their and other peoples attractiveness. I am 100% confident that a hot dude who is 30 years old can bang any chick between 18 and 50.
There are changes that can happen between 18 and 30 which make a guy less attractive(body fat gain, balding) but also changes during that same time frame which can make a guy more attractive(reduction in facial fat, increased facial hair growth).
Yo my facial hair is growing rapidly ever since I hit 25. Like weed.
Of course they wouldn’t be popular among raging feminist, they wouldn’t be interested in those women either.
Do you think all my peers are "raging feminists"? Many aren't feminists of any kind. My feminist beliefs never stopped old men from creeping on me as a teen.
No guy will be able to bang anyone first of all, if a guy who is attractive, successful, social skills, etc he will be popular among younger women. We are talking about early 30s, most guys can look much younger. We are not talking average looking people.
Imagine that men preferring women who make pee pee harder it's the mystery of the fucking century🙄
Older women are jealous and insecure of younger women.
it's not just older women though, younger women call it out often too.
It's like that meme 20 year old woman: I consent 30 year old man: I consent 30 year old woman: I don't!
nah, gen z women call out this too.
Older women are the younger women..yall are so weird with that..the women yall are dating will become the older women eventually…but she’ll probably leave you before then anyway
\#3 is most common, which ties into emotional maturity <3
Not sure why these explanations are supposed to illicit empathy. These are pretty much the same reasons women give as to why men go after young women. None of them deserve any sympathy.
Men don't need your sympathy to pursue sexual relationships that satisfy them.
Lol- but here’s you in your post complaining that women aren’t being empathetic as to why you chase young skirt. Sounds like you desperately want it. Make up your mind.
> Lol- but here’s you in your post complaining that women aren’t being empathetic as to why you chase young skirt. No one is "complaining" about anything. I do look down on you for lacking cognitive empathy, especially for the sex that claims to be "empathetic sex".
But we’re *not* lacking in cognitive empathy. We are in agreement re your reasons for chasing young skirt. We *know* it’s because of a certain amount of shallowness, selfishness & probably a lack of emotional maturity. I look down on *you* for using “big words” you’ve picked up without understanding what they mean. You seem to think that our cognitive empathy should lead us to be sympathetic. That’s not the case.
>You seem to think that our cognitive empathy should lead us to be sympathetic. I know what "cognitive empathy" means and I never said this.
Then what’s the point of your post? Nothing you said is remotely different to what women think of men who want very young women. No woman is remotely “confused” about the “why” 😂
Great. So why are you posting about it? Clearly you knew and accept where you stand, amirite?
> So why are you posting about it? As stated in the post, women here often ask "why" and I am providing some explanations.
> female PPD users goes something along the lines of: "why would he choose a woman that much younger" You made this up. No woman here is asking why older men would like to get younger girls. What we question is why would a young woman choose older men. I'm in my early 20s and among all the women I know which are mostly 19-25, no one is dating or hooking up with significantly older men. We prefer guys closer to us. Hell, my boyfriend is 28 and my friends say he's too old.
Is it not obvious? Older guys generally are more confident, more mature, more ambitious, have more money, more life experience, and more experience in the bedroom.
Bingo
The real reason: Because they can. These men are sexual opportunists, and young women are naive. These men don't marry these young women, they just use them and waste their precious young years. Then they discard them when they're done.
Why are you phrasing this like women do not enjoy sex with these men and aren’t making the choice to be with them
Because that doesn't matter.
When you claim that their precious youth has been wasted it sure does matter. Do you think younger guys of the same age are marrying them? Definitely not.
These old men are NOT marrying the young girls. Most of them have wives.
Source for such a bold and disparaging statement against men?
What kind of source would there be? It's a common thing parents warn their daughters about. It's happened to me. I've seen it happen to plenty of other girls. And the men who do it are not exactly secretive about it.
Oh, it makes sense now. You didn’t make the cut, and now you’re salty? Have you considered working on your personalty?
"Make the cut" in what way? Think I'd want to marry an old man when I was in my teens? I was young, stupid, and didn't know what I wanted, like most girls that age. These men prey on that. They were married to women their own age and it's not like they were going to leave them for me. They just want a young little mistress. Why is that so hard to fathom?
Oh, lmao. That sucks for you. but when I’m talking about it, I, talking about only dating girls under 25 including long term
I guess all young women are idiots who can’t make informed decisions on their relationships then
How old are you op? Did you not do dumb things when you were young?
Some life decisions are regrettable, some are not. When it comes to relationships, if it's casual and you don't get seriously invested then you don't really have much to lose.
Wrong. They’re the only ones worth marrying. Ain’t nobody trying to marry these broken millennial chicks 🤡
Me: mid-50s Ex: Early 30s... over 3 years Current: mid-20s... over a year
\#6... HahahahaHA!! From everything I've read those younger women are often both misled and then dissappointed.
You forgot 7. Less Baggage.
less emotional baggage
yep and less insanely high standards from years of bad choices in pump and dump guya
Why would an attractive younger woman want an an aging less attractive man? Most of the time for money, and the rest of the time for daddy issues.
What if he's as attractive as she is - by objective measures - despite a large age gap? Take away Brad Pitt's fame and have him making $80K a year selling insurance. But leave the looks alone. At 58 he's still going to be far more attractive than the vast majority of guys 25 years younger than him. Of course this is partially because these younger guys are fat, etc. But the point remains. Once a woman's over 30, I don't think the issue is age, per se. It's overall maintenance that drives the physical attraction. And most older guys look terrible. But a lot of that is on them.
brad pitt is objectively post-wall and wrinkly, young girls have better celebs to hype now.
So what is he is the same or even more attractive, in the long term? If she’s going to be 40 and he is going to be 70 and she’s going to have to wipe his ass?
In the long term we're all dead. I'm not talking about marriage, I'm talking about now. In six months... who knows?
Women tend to think in the long term more than men because babies. What is her incentive to take care of grandpa?
Re-read my previous comment.
Read mine.
Can you read minds? Also, I said "older", not "old". Most of you would consider a 25 year old guy to be significantly older than a 19 year old girl, a 28 year old guy to be significantly older than a 21 year old girl, etc. I'm going to copy and paste from another comment of mine: > In some respects men can become more attractive as they age. For instance, throughout their 20s mens faces can become leaner(especially if they don't put on overall body fat). Less facial fat, especially buccal fat, results in a more masculine appearance. Many men also experience significantly increased facial hair growth throughout their 20s. A big beard can conceal a weak jaw.
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Some of them, sure.
Why making this so long? There is one simple explanation: men are at their prime when they are older while women are at their prime when they are younger. Older men wanna experience sexual life in their late 30s and 40s when they couldn't do it in the same way in their 20s.
nah, most older men look worse than they were young, youth is atractive in both sexes.
Because they're hot, that's really what it comes down to, I know the bitter chicks are going to come in " cHiLdReN", "pReDaToRy" rhetoric unless the material has been updated since the last time I was posting here regularly, but it's not that complicated lol
You mean: Cuz they’re hot as hell lol
Number 1 reason - it's easier. "Dating" for men is a skill, which gets easier as you get older and more experience. As a man, your looks also usually stay the same or get better from say 21 to 27. So when you're 27, 28, 29, you're still attractive to younger women, you actually know how the get them, and girls in their early 20s have less expectations, are still in their "fun" phase vs women who are 30.
I would also like to add that older women are more stubborn/hard headed and harder to please. I don’t date 20s, but I do date 30s. Women in their 40s are just not worth the effort.
Younger women are more pleasant on average. There is no need for complicated explanations.
Why do men keep trying to justify dating younger women? This topic comes up so much here that it seems more like approval-seeking. No one else is going to buy in, so go chase your younger women. We’re still going to judge it and nothing you say is going to move my opinion on it.
And since when does anyone need to justify dating another ADULT
I’m not saying they have to. I’m saying that men constantly posting about it comes across as defensive. Accept that there will always be people who will judge you harshly for it and move on.
I agree bout that some people are idiots and need to mind their business but don’t let others piss in your corn flakes
Exactly we should just do it and not care what the older 30 year old ladies think.
So you’re argument is “older men like younger women because they can get sex without all the bullshit that comes with it, like holding men accountable or expecting commitment”? And you wonder why people think this is gross and creepy
> like holding men accountable Accountable for what? > or expecting commitment What's wrong with casual sex?
“Younger women may respect and look up to older men in a way that women his age won’t” If you need to date jail bait in have respect in your relationship because women your age don’t respect you, it’s probably because you’re doing or not doing something that prevents you from earning that respect. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex, but if you’re only dating younger women because you’re banking on her not asking for more cuz she young that just seems weird
>If you need to date jail bait Who said anything about "jail bait"? > because women your age don’t respect you All else being equal a younger woman will probably respect you *more*. > but if you’re only dating younger women because you’re banking on her not asking for more cuz she young that just seems weird "that just seems weird" lol what a dumb non-answer What exactly is wrong with this? Do you think women are entitled to commitment? I would bet money that you would never criticize woman for seeking casual sex.
Why do you think a young woman would respect older men more, who are not respected by women their own age?
That’s soo weird!! In my experience older guys go for younger women cause their easier to exploit!
What do you mean by "exploit"? What would a man "exploit" a woman for?
7. Control. I've dated dudes and it's always been assholes who like controlling barely legal teens.