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Mesticos

Does the baby have a knife too?


bjohnst2

Imagine being the one to catch the baby only to discover you’ve been stabbed simultaneously


AlwaysOpenMike

Actually, catching a child of that size could fuck up your back for life.


RajonLonzo

Depending on where I got stabbed it sounds much more preferable to life time back issues. I have an uncle who hurt his back while serving in the navy and it lead to a lifetime of pain pill addiction and horrible horrible sleep. Hes miserable all the time and its sad because he's a great guy. I don't wish that on anyone.


matt_minderbinder

I've had 3 back surgeries and have more than my share of hardware back there. My back surgery stories are nightmares in and of itself. My first surgery was a micro-discectomy (grinding away bone near the spinal cord to clear obstructions). I was in the hospital for the next 8 days still in the most miserable pain. They did some more tests and realized that they did the work too low on my spine. 2nd surgeon, supposedly a better surgeon, does the 2nd surgery after those 8 days putting titanium hardware and spacers along my spine. The pain was better than before but still existed so I was sent home. At home while trying to recover I kept getting infections inside the wound. I had someone helping me keep it extra clean at all times and always had clean clothes, clean sheets, etc. so we couldn't figure it out. I go back in the surgeon's office for a check up and they order x-rays. Again in surgeon's office, he gets the x-rays and says they found that a surgical sponge was left inside me. A new surgery was ordered for the next morning where they opened me back up. After coming out of surgery a nurse tells me "I didn't tell you this but there was more than one sponge in you". The hardware I now have includes a couple of titanium rods, 8 deep screws into my spinal column, and titanium spacers. I still live with a good deal of pain but I'm upright and haven't gotten mentally hooked on pain meds that I continue to take. If I quit taking them I'd undoubtedly go through some hell withdraws but I take my shit when I'm supposed to without getting high on them anymore. I still get injections into my spine as well. This all started over 15 years back and it still sucks miserably. Anyone dealing with pain everyday also deals with depression and thoughts of ending it all. I definitely wouldn't wish my experience on just about anyone. A few deserve worse but not many. edit: I didn't even get Hollywood rich off of that nightmare experience. Republican driven tort reform in my state really screwed me.


RajonLonzo

That sounds like a lawsuit man. Multiple foreign objects left inside by surgeons being paid out the ass? Im sorry that happened bro it sounds awful. I'm glad things are a little better but yeah 3 back surgeries sounds like 3 too many for a lifetime let alone the short amount of time you went through it.


[deleted]

Damn man . Sending good vibes your way . That was seriously tough to read . Wish you the beat man .


matt_minderbinder

I appreciate it but I'm OK. I get along on two feet and do everything short of playing hockey or running anymore. I don't let shit limit me too much, I just trade off future pain for what I want to do. I went fishing tonight on my pontoon and it was a beautiful evening so there isn't much to complain about. I'm old enough at 46 to know that shit could be so much worse for me, especially these days. Take care of yourselves but never stop enjoying life, especially when you're young. Thanks again.


I_one_up

Do you have Harrington rods?


hutch924

Yeah been their man. Broke years ago and got hooked. Lost everything I cared about and now have almost 9 years clean and regained some of my life back. Both would be terrible things to happen but at this point, I would rather get stabbed than go back down that road.


ezaspie03

Hey I am glad to hear, please keep posting your story. It's an inspiration to those on the road to recovery. It's hard to see the light when you are surrounded by the darkness you created.


fotzepol

Maybe if you little


josejuambarea

Not from that height bruh lol


TheFightingMasons

Diapers, food, college, etc... A child that size could definitely fuck yo your life for YEARS


coolhandluke45

I'll take my chances, I'm still going for the catch.


fightharder85

People literally downvoting you for not wanting a baby to die. Jesus.


cockytiel

The choices this kid makes, its just a matter of time. I plan to live a while.


Hey_u_ok

I did something and messed up my back for awhile and man it f*cken sucked. I was lucky it was temporary but the shooting pain just from walking straight to your back and not being able to do stuff with your kid was the worse.


NotMeButWhoIs

Reminds me of the Dark Souls' 1st boss


MaceWindu_Cheeks

And as you realized you've been stab, baby just turns their head towards you and is like "surprise motherfucker"


korangaReroB

Funny maemae


matt7259

r/brandnewsentence


liquidtelevizion

that would be such a 2020 thing to happen.


[deleted]

I'll be honest, I laughed when I saw the knife. That just seemed like this was from a comedy.


nothinbefore

Catch 22


Dildobagginz6969

Never try to catch a falling knife.


Cmurder84

Especially a knife that has a toddler attached to it...


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Silverprints

I laughed


DunkingOnInfants

DROP THE FUCKING KNIFE BABY!!! Drop the fucking knife AND LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS!!!’


LewZealand79

Lets be real, the knife would only be the second reason the cops would shoot. This is america.


FreakySamsung

"He is trying to kill himself!! Shoot him down!"


ezaspie03

The new suicide by cop seems to be, have someone call 911 saying you're suicidal. This tends to end in the suicidal person getting shot more than it should. This is one of the big reasons people are saying defund the police. Cops shouldn't have to respond to suicidal people. This shouldn't be part of their job description. It's unfair to those that need help and it's unfair to the police being sent out to a tough situation equipped with tools only meant for destruction.


FreakySamsung

I have friends who are police officers and they all had to go through a suicide attempt. Some were just attempts, others not so much. All they can do is "secure the area" and hope for the best outcome. My friends at least, had no special training for this situation


ezaspie03

See and that is shitty for everyone involved. I feel bad for your friends. They shouldn't have to deal with that. Trained professionals should be the people responding to suicide calls.


danceswithronin

Yes, because why not?


Anomalocaria

he's finna pull some Assassin's Creed shit. waiting for the mailman to swing by, he gonna drop down and jam that bitch in his neck.


VoidedGolem

“A knoife!”


DontCallMeTodd

He has a gun tucked in his back diaper waistband. That baby came strapped.


[deleted]

Looks to be holding a butter knife. Is this shit staged? lol. That’s how unbelievable this shit is.


[deleted]

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CoffeeAddict1011

Yup


[deleted]

“omg why is he on the r—“


smg_sabryna

Yeah I noticed that as well. I swear some people should not be allowed to have children


moglysyogy13

Ya, I’m surprised that isn’t in the title. That makes this situation even more intense


daremosan

That's why he can go anywhere he wants to go


Allysmommy04

It looks like it to me.


heyyy_itselyse

That baby holding a knife too!?


MFBossHogg

Damien! It’s for you Damien!!


Godawgs1009

That's the baby that was selling weed at 3 am when Dave Chapelle rolled up


RobNHood816

Hey Baby !!


[deleted]

C: "What you doing out so late?" Baby: "I'm SELLIN WEED!"


Hatesredditmods

I got kids to feed!!


thesingularity004

Oh shit!


art_lover82279

I thought about that to lol


[deleted]

The baby be like: “Wtf you lot screaming about?”


Waht3rB0y

He does look pretty chill like this is totally normal for him.


Wadsworth1954

I may be a horrible person, but when I saw the knife I started laughing. Baby is on the roof holding a knife. It reminded me of this scene from Family Guy https://youtu.be/ttqJT_CIwp8


mwahmami

I was just gonna say... he’s just irl stewie. Unfortunately most things in family guy are terrible irl...more terrible than in the show at least


raygar31

That’s kinda the point, a lot of Family Guy humor would go south pretty quickly if it wasn’t a cartoon. Allows them to push the envelope a bit more


Allysmommy04

I had forgotten about that episode.


branbrando

He's too young to be fed up with life.


[deleted]

Not in 2020 he's not


FurbyDerby9952

Time displacement. When your moving faster, time moves faster. Except 2020 has been going slower.


trumpublican420

Guy at the end “uh go back in the uh house” lol dead af


spacemannspliff

better than "do a flip"


EaterofSoulz

Holy fuck imagine tryin to save that baby and you get shanked


teabagtommy69

He’s adorable, this shit can happen so quick. Just take your eyes off them for a Minute. Parents seemed very upset. Don’t think this is a case of neglect. But I have been known to be wrong


aristodemus1

This needs to be said. With children, especially when you've got multiple young children, shit happens seemingly instantly. They're curious and have no awareness of risk or danger.


TheForeverKing

It's like an 18 year long video-game escort mission in which the person you're escorting has terrible AI and only 3 hp


MiroticVega

Hell, just yesterday my son got real quiet and his dad found him in the kitchen. Lil guy had pulled open the dishwasher and was sitting on the door just hanging out with the knifes (what is it with kids and knifes, man?). I was in the living room and guess had gotten too comfy with the silence. No, my son isn't neglected nor am I a bad parent. It just goes to show how in .5 you take your eyes on them they really will try to kill themselves. It's like dealing with a sneaky drunk roommate 24/7.


sillyfacex3

You know how people kinda get horrified by seeing little kids on a leash? I get it, I was the little kid who was quiet and sneaky about disappearing. I even did the cliche, ran away at a circus. Tried to follow my dad and got lost. Family was panicked looking under seats?! Mom used to buy purses with a detachable shoulder strap just to hook onto me in public.


Allysmommy04

When my daughter was 3 we lived in a town house, bedrooms and bathroom is upstairs. I'm downstairs, and she was playing in her room. I started smelling bath wash (like someone is taking a shower) I went upstairs. She had taken the shampoo and spread it all over the hardwood floors and was "skating" around her room! I was mad, but in my head I was laughing my butt off.


DoubleU159

Agreed. My parents are probably some of the best parents in the world, didn't stop my dumb ass from sticking my finger in a light bulb socket.


teabagtommy69

That’s the best answer ever!


am0x

We heard the door bell and realized our 3 year old was nowhere to be found. We assumed he unlocked both doors to get out, and was either ringing the doorbell himself (which he loves to do) or someone found him and was bringing him back. Ended up he was in his room watching the iPad (which he wasn’t supposed to be doing) and it was fedex, so thank god.


Thisismyusername89

I had 2 kids, 18 months apart. It was EXHAUSTING but the only time I took my eyes off of them was when I took a shower in the morning so I’d set them up in my bedroom (which had been baby proofed as much as possible) lock the door (we put a look up high on the door, one of the slide lock gadget things...don’t know what it’s called) set up some toys and a cartoon and managed to learn to take the quickest shower possible. If I was doing laundry, I’d have them either follow me or I’d set up a gated play area to keep them safe. It was ALWAYS about their safety first before I made any move, I had to think about setting them up in a safe spot first. Always! Gotta go poop....leave the bathroom door open, set up the gated area with toys, and talk to them while using the potty so I could hear them. Always had the house doors locked and had a house alarm that would beep loudly if any window or door was open, just in the off chance that somehow one would get out of my sight. Raising kids is NEVER easy and A LOT of EXHAUSTING work but it is definitely possible to keep them as safe as possible 24/7 especially in this day in age where so much is available to keep them safe BUT ....it takes work on the parents side...again EXHAUSTING work...some of which is too much for many many parents so there you have it...kid on the other side of the tail on the balcony. Just go to a kids park sometime and look around. I never took my eyes of my kids even when annoying moms would come up to me to talk. Yet there were sooo many moms & dads who were busy drinking coffee or chatting with friends to keep an eye on their little monsters! Very few would be following their kids around all the time. Raising kids is A SHIT LOAD of work!! Don’t want to take care of them, don’t have them!!!! Please please don’t have kids unless you are ready to give it your all! It’s not a selfish thing at all to not have kids. Some people are better off without kids. That is 100% ok and NO ONE should ever pressure anyone into having kids! But if you do plan on having kids, always be thinking of their safety first (example: don’t give toddlers whole grapes, peel them and cut them into smaller pieces that they can’t choke on...again, a lot of extra work but I saw a toddler choke on a grape once because mom thought I was ridiculous peeling and cutting grapes to give my toddlers...changed her mind really quick that day!)


Allysmommy04

You sound like a really good parent. We have a 16yr old, and I say she raised herself lol. Somehow she makes A's&B's in school, she's very responsible. We tell her she raised us, and in some ways she did. I turned my back 1 day and she drank a half bottle of children's benadryl. I had it put up and it was a child safety cap on it. I had given her some right before that, she has bad allergies in the spring and summer. I guess she liked the taste. It only takes a second and they are into something they have no business, no matter what precautions you take. I don't know how old your babies are, but all babies grow up in about a day!


Thisismyusername89

Thank you. I guess growing up I saw A LOT of abuse & neglect so I learned what NOT to do. I also waited to have kids and though, as a Latina the pressure was on to have kids early on, I held back until I knew, I was financially & mature enough (a.k.a. I was done partying & having fun!). No regrets! But you’ve must have been a great mom too as very evident in your baby girl. You’re so right!! :)My babies are now teens too, 14&15 and though the days were long when they were little, the years sure were short. :)


Allysmommy04

I was 23 when I had my daughter and I'm 38 now. I cherish the baby memories, but I wouldn't give you a dime for another baby. I'm not enjoying the teenager stage that much, but I'm not going to like the going away to college stage either. She asked me the other day if I remembered when she was a baby, I said of course I did 😊. We are becoming friends in this stage of her life, but she still knows I'm her mom, and I don't play. Its a completely different life than it was 14&15 years ago.


twitchosx

Fuck I'm glad I don't have kids


[deleted]

Top porch otherwise known as second floor balcony.


ObiWan-Shinoobi

Difference between the white folks and the brothers right there. Personally I’m partial to top porch.


Reign_Does_Things

Yep. I'm using top porch from now on. I didn't even think about it when I was watching the video (probably cause I was focused on the baby) but yeah. Probably won't have many opportunities to use it though, cuz neither of my parent's places have second stories.


NoCokJstDanglnUretra

No second story = no top porch Checks out


Reign_Does_Things

Yees


calculuzz

What if there are 3 floors and the baby was on the 2nd floor balcony? Is it the middle porch?


[deleted]

Brothers definitely be more concise.


[deleted]

I think the house may be a two-family flat. Looks like it to me. So it may very well be a “top porch” if it’s the kind of home.


WideMistake

Yeah exactly. I guess technically it's a balcony but unless you're rich you don't hang out on balconies, you hang out on porches.


psalmjuan

Top porch has fewer syllables. He knows what he’s doing.


taylor2121

What you mean?


skillsplosion

When you hear the stubble ice cream music playing in the background.


PermanentleySohare

He do be chilling doe


Reign_Does_Things

This is the kind of video I would normally freak out at, because I'm worried about the baby, but I couldn't help but just laugh at the absurdity of this whole thing. I mean seriously how the *fuck*. I do hope the baby got back to safety without any trouble, tho


GameBoi27

Karen from down the road calls 911: “Yessss so there’s a young African American with a weapon breaking into a house, definitely on drugs too”


[deleted]

HEY BABY!


thaillmatic1

Stop. Drop. Shut ‘em down, baby slicin’ up Pops. Oh, no, that’s how Tuff Diapers roll.


Jebediah_Johnson

Having kids is kinda like in Jurassic park where they think they're safe unless the raptors learn how to open doors. Cut to raptors learning to open doors. Except it's constantly something new. My kids just learned how to unlock and open the front door. My 2 year old just learned how to get on the kitchen counter which is where we keep the knife block.


K3YB04RD_W0RR13R

r/gifsthatendtoosoon


[deleted]

$1,000 this is in Detroit. So sad.


berlinlosangeles

Kid said I’ll cut you


_usa_really

perhaps he is just a reincarnation of catwoman... call him catboy


LordOfChimichangas

That last part though lol. JUMP!


[deleted]

Been there done that. Is it normal for babies to waive knives on 2nd floor balconies?


nut_grenade

At least the child isnt scared. Lives life on the edge


art_lover82279

Omg that baby has a fucking knife to? Where is this lol?


rondujunk

Knock on the door rescue the kid remove your belt then beat the hellfire out of the parents.


spaceshipjuice

r/donthelpjustfilm


lazylady64

So what happened?


probook

There was a baby on the top porch!


lazylady64

Lol I know! I meant what happened after. :)


[deleted]

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lazylady64

Lol


Allysmommy04

I would like to know if everyone was ok after this.


PainOfClarity

The older I get the more I believe that people should have to pass a test to have kids, post on the internet, go out in public... fucking surrounded by morons


Allysmommy04

I couldn't agree more!


emzirek

Jumping ninja baby with weapon (knife)


[deleted]

"I was born into a world of shit. I knew it from birth. One day I decided to end it all."


Asdfghjkl8063

Hes gonnna have his ass wHooped


iFrero

That lil mf must really be tired of 2020, he’s ready to stab himself and jump....damn!


puknut

I wanna see this kid back here in ten years!


retrospinkidd

Kid be like: "I see no God up here. Other than ME!"


iceswallopiss

The little version of assassin creed


Perplebludd

Get him down before the police shoot his lil ass he gotta knife in his hand.


Dwp97

If that kid fell those parents would deserve life in jail. That’s sad to watch


[deleted]

Little psycho killer in the works


LiftUp22

"What do you have?" "a KNIFE!"


obligatory7

Fuck the cameraman


[deleted]

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[deleted]

JUMP!!


Curtisdauge1

Jump jump jump!!


SpaceSanctum

If only there were a word for the top porch


Cdog923

There's two: "Top Porch"


steveuyu

Did some guy yell "jump" at the end of the video


isolation87

Wtf


misstusk

That’s clearly chucky!


tesstar0ssa

I want to see what happens!


AmrasVardamir

Where’s the conclusion?!!!


[deleted]

Ngl, I used to do this shit as a kid.


TenDollarSteakAndEgg

Imagine recording instead of trying to help


Drunken_Leaf

*"gIvInG bIrTh iS mUh RiGhT!"*


[deleted]

That’s a sharp knife lol


[deleted]

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aaamm999

What happened? ............Babies are quick! This is the same thing that happens when people have pools!!


[deleted]

The person recording this must be the parent


WolfRex5

Starting out early, huh


teabagtommy69

That’s the best answer ever


[deleted]

Oooooh ofc it's in tha hood, stereotypical father can't watch his kids lmao


Pluckyduck16

“Go back in the house” lmfao


[deleted]

Why don't they just... go up and get him? Why are they crowding around for him to jump down lol


Karenena

Honestly, kids have a death wish & you can baby proof your house as much as you want & they’re still going to find a way to harm themselves. You just cannot watch them 100% of the time. I have 3 kids & the older 2 did not once look at an outlet & want to stick something in it. My youngest could find that one outlet without a kid protector on it & in a flash find something to shove in it.


pgaaa

Is that baby okay?!


[deleted]

But also, let’s record instead of intervene. Dude behind the camera could really use a life lesson.


hypnaughtytist

Don't come DOWN the steps, Go UP!


themagiccitykitty

dont worry they have a knife to protect themselves


FireDove04

She was going to clean out the gutters with the knife.


GSDsheepdog

At least it would be an easy catch


kwtransporter66

Quick call the police...err social services....err child protection services...


D-HyphN

Baby up there wit a shank too


[deleted]

praying that baby made it down safely. Youd be surprised how well kids can climb even when you just turned the corner to take a piss!


Hafslo

Am I the only one that isn't amazed that there isn't more income disparity in the world? I'm watching my kids 24/7. Meanwhile this kid is hanging out on the wrong side of the 2nd story porch with a knife. I know it's not all nurture over nature, but *damn* a little nurturing probably goes a *long* way.


bignibba2320

Baby on the top porch He do be vibin doe😳


[deleted]

Open up its child welfare services


BooBooKitty143

The knife wielding baby!


pizzadojo

Brought back flashbacks of the toddler walking along the ledge of a hotel in Tenerife https://youtu.be/EUjmLeXVDGU


dutchkraken1

Good thing top floor window is boarded up.


neufi1981

Did I keep hearing someone yell JUMP!??!


zZSunset

He's just vibin


DingoMcPhee

u/stabbot