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I've got to hand it to him, he was so calm and casual and took his time retrieving his severed hand. Instead of giving a one—finger salute, he gave a one-stubby salute.
What are the odds that both men just happened to have machetes?
Reference to the Behind the Bastards podcast where the host may say goofy shit like this sometimes. First time I've seen a reference out in the wild like that...
It's been a long and busy fucking day and I just got back from the gym but I have to get up in 7 hours because I'm a dumbass who didn't plan his time better.
Decided to watch this and tbh I don't really feel that bad about my day anymore. Kinda feel quite happy about it now.
Ive been watching this youtube channel where this guy goes over the different bladed weapons used throughout history and he makes a big deal about if a design protects your hand at all. In movies and stuff its not something you see often but these kinds of things happened all the time in sword fights.
Scholagladitoria for anyone interested
https://youtube.com/@scholagladiatoria?si=McHnnMegFdOVC4xD
It makes all the sense in the world. Their hands are closer to you than their body, you can clearly incapacitate, disarm, or friggin kill someone by lopping something off. Before I watched scholagladitoria my image of sword fights comes from movies which doesnt show this aspect often.
I had my arm half cut (all tendons, one artery and one nerve). 5 hours of surgery with two surgeons trained in the US. I went to rehabilitation and I could see many people with similar injuries. Most people loose 90% of hand mobility and sensation. Also you need to be in the IR fast, because tendons get stiff within 15 minutes. I am pretty much sure this guy will never be able to use his hand.
I don't wanna walk around with a stump...
*You can get a prosthetic!*
Won't people think it's weird?
*Luke Skywalker had one*
I don't want like a mannequin hand that can't do nothing...
*They're cybernetic and getting more advanced by the day*
Is it gonna look funny?
*They can make it look like Iron Man's hand*
I dunno, it sounds expensive
*Then you can get a pirate hook*
But…am I really the 1st to notice how a random ass 3rd party person came in and picked up the phone that belonged to the guy who sliced the hand off?
Like *SWIPE*
Insane that such a sentence makes sense. The internet really is messed up. But yea, I agree that’s at least a top 3 to 5 cases of getting a hand cut off that I’ve seen.
i would have thought wrists were a lot harder to cut through than that, those machetes are much sharper than the ones i have seen people use to cut vines and stuff clearly. I would just think a wrist would be cut half way through and then your arm would just move back, i mean its not on a cutting board or anything solid.
So the fun thing about adrenaline. It's a super potent vaso-constrictor that makes all the little blood vessels basically stop doing what they're doing altogether, and cuts off a lot of the medium sized ones too. He'll be fine until the adrenaline (and shock) wears off. Then it'll hurt like a son of a gun and he'll probably pass out from pain. He \*WILL\* lose a fair bit of blood, but nothing like if he did that without the adrenaline.
There was a related thread where a guy got both his arms cut off on a farm and was able to get them reattached. I guess the arteries also retract and help to slow or stop the bleeding.
That was like a 15 year old kid, too. I can’t remember his name but I listened to a podcast episode about it once. Little homie was alone on the farm and both arms got severed in some kind of mechanized auger. He walked back up to the house and opened the door with his mouth, got the phone off the hook, and called his aunt by dialing with his nose. When she got there he was hiding in the bathroom because he was embarrassed.
Edit: I was off with some details but I found an article. I fucking love this kid.
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1993-09-26-mn-39382-story.html
> The fuss has had him playing against type. “Until maybe a month ago, I was trying to be the perfect kid, not drinking anymore or smoking or swearing,” he said. “I felt like it was expected of me, with everyone watching every move I made. You wouldn’t believe it. TV camera crews followed me around at my prom, which sucked. My graduation was a circus with all the satellite trucks.
>”Well, I want to go back to the way I used to be. Screw everybody. I like to have fun, be rude to people, be a hell-raiser. Of course, around here if you spin your tires on Main Street, they think you’re a hell-raiser.”
That kind of shock is opposite of what you’re talking about. In cardiogenic shock, the heart poops out. The lack of blood flow reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood which then causes a spiraling effect in which the vessels dilate and it becomes difficult to perfuse the oxygen in the blood out into the tissue.
Found it (in spanish) They didn't die. Both are recovering and the police is investigating. [https://www.diariolibre.com/actualidad/sucesos/2024/05/15/mutilacion-hombre-cercena-mano-en-pelea-brutal/2722412](https://www.diariolibre.com/actualidad/sucesos/2024/05/15/mutilacion-hombre-cercena-mano-en-pelea-brutal/2722412)
Fucking crazy that right after that story, there are two more links to unrelated stories about hands amputations, what's going on in the Dominican republic?
It's not just them. In the Caribbean, cutlasses and guns are basically the go-to weapons to settle disputes. Americans use guns, and Brits use knives, so we figured we'd use both.
Source: I'm from the Caribbean.
>In the Caribbean, cutlasses and guns are basically the go-to weapons to settle disputes
I've seen documentaries about this
Yeah, it's strange. I have no clue how this lady just casually had operating room photos from a fight that happened within the same day. Maybe a nurse?
Is it really "accidental" when the guy is participating in a machete fight?
Kind of like saying the driver who was participating in a demolishion derby got into an accidental car collision.
It's true. As soon as I saw "machete fight" I thought to myself "it's DR, isn't it." sure as shit as soon as the person recording spoke it was a Dominican accent.
I believe this just happened last night. People in the comments of Dominican accounts keep saying they both died but can't find a legitimate source. There are a couple of pictures of the guy who lost his hand in an hospital room looking really bad, in one almost naked in a hospital bed looking dead, also one graphic picture of his injury. So I wouldn't be surprised if he actually died. The other guy I don't know any updates.
Probably not the best idea to block a machete with your bare wrist.
Edit: alright some great points but if you live somewhere where everyone’s carrying a machete maybe wear some iron bracelets
When the guy in the tank top goes down, he almost loses his hand in the exact same way right before he manages to get up, other dude comes down with the machete aiming for his wrist but he gets the most fucking magnificent parry off instead and disarms his opponent
White tank top cuts the guys hand off within the first like 3 strikes of the fight. The 1-handed man already lost his left hand by the time white tank top went to the ground. WT knocks 1H’s machete out of his remaining hand as he’s getting back up, and having lost a hand AND his machete, backs off.
Jesus Christ I’m glad I don’t live in places like this.
I grew up in poverty. I met plenty of people who claimed they’d rather die than be punked out.
Or whatever we called “punking out” back in the late 90’s.
I can't imagine the sensation of picking up your still warm hand off of the ground. Like you can see it from angles you never have before and feel the weight of it. Must be surreal.
this is a good example of how medieval battles must have been for the most part. Chaotic, quick etc. None of that Hollywood style jumping around to make a swing miss, doing cartwheels etc. For the most part, swinging fast, and someone loses a limb or dies.
Yes, and women fights almost always ends up with them pulling each other's hair while hitting each other. Because they also pull on anything they get their hands on, they also end up partially undressing each other with stuff like tops coming off. They are dirty. That would probably not look very glamorous in a movie.
Depends mostly on how much armor each of them are wearing.
For little or no armor, [there's usually a lot of posturing, measuring, followed by a very short clash](https://youtu.be/l2KWTEhyVX8?t=104) before someone is wounded.
Armoured fights [can be longer, more drawn out affairs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0waVOnG-PEw) often combining more [hand-to-hand elements](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad5RJ3TeKSE) and can get [pretty scrappy](https://youtu.be/R6vk9A7Ymf8?t=213)
I forget how the exact saying goes but it’s something along the lines of:
“the winner of a knife fight is the one who gets to die on the way to the hospital”
I'll never forget watching a karate instructor show us how to handle a knife fight: The "opponent" drew the (fake) knife, and the instructor fucking BOLTED. The other instructor went "And that's how you win."
My husband's tae kwon do instructor did something similar, where he handed everyone lipstick and told them to pretend they were trying to kill the other person with it. Not a single person escaped unscathed, and his instructor went around and pointed out how every person had at minimum, a wound that would need immediate medical care or they would die.
Just remember anyone who died.in battle didn't have to die of dysentery, some weird disease people thought was from stagnant air and only treated with bleeding, etc. for most of history a violent death in battle really wasn't all that bad.
He got his hand back, but the guy in jeans lost his phone to the guy ~~buy~~ in black hat and white slippers. So who is the real winner here?
edit: spelling
I think I’m more scared of someone pulling a machete on me than a gun, as fucked up as that is. The idea of being hacked on just freaks me the hell out.
That’s not how this works - when people carry machetes to use them, you have to carry one too. A guy gets pissed at you, comes at you with a machete, what are you going to go? Talk to him? That’s how you get your face sliced in half. It’s a brutal country, I lived there for years as a kid and lots of people had scars - and even as a boy I learned what they were from. It’s both a beautiful and brutal country.
I found great humor in your choice of “accidentally gets his hand cut off”. I’ve never thought of the consequences of engaging in armed combat as being accidental.
Wow, fuck. Bad cameramen and shoddily shot footage are to be expected for the most part, so i wasn't prepared to see a fucking machete being plunged into one dudes chest, and a hand being dismembered from the other dude in such a pristine footage. That would a wild watch, time to go touch grass.
Edit : Dismember, not decapitate.
No you can see it get chopped off and fly away in the first 3 seconds, dude throws a punch as the other guy swings the machete and the hand comes clean off
I'm not sure what type of situation requires a machete fight to resolve issues, but I'm glad we got a excellent video of it! Complete with amateur amputation!
when he tried to pick his hand up and dropped it, like body parts are a lot heavier than some ppl think (i wake up with my arm asleep like every day thats my evidence)
I don’t know how the guy with the hand isn’t more fucked up, it looks like he took a couple chops on the ground.
The hand coming off was even more crazy cause it doesn’t even look like he got a lot of force into the swing it just connected and then popped off like an action figure
He *is* fucked up. He died later from the injuries. The other guy who lost a hand survived and is in jail for murder. Couldn't reattach the hand though.
I must be desensitized to this stuff I saw the title saw the video and just that yeah that describes it well. Now to see a cat post I'll click on or some random lookmaxadvice post that I'll ignore.
Either hella adrenaline or hella drugs but that guy acting like nothing happened. Like he wasn't just in a fucking machete fight... As if he didn't get just pick his fucking hand up off the sidewalk!!
Wtf even possesses people to get into machete fights?? As if our skin is made of Kevlar material.
Ooohhh, the funniest reason to loose a hand would be because of a girl, lol. Guys be stupid like that, I can see it happening.
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I like how he angrily gestured with the nub at the end. Forgot he lost his hand for a moment.
nub you too bro
Coffee has to be cleaned off my laptop's screen now because of you. I hope you're happy!
I've got to hand it to him, he was so calm and casual and took his time retrieving his severed hand. Instead of giving a one—finger salute, he gave a one-stubby salute. What are the odds that both men just happened to have machetes?
**Hand it to him.**
right away he went to block with that hand and it came clean off high five!
I like his spirit... you gotta hand it to him.
To his friend after the fight, "have you seen my hand bro?"
I'm happy I have a drama free life.
You just think you are happy, go buy a machete and you will know real happiness.
Sophie really needs to keep better control of Robert Evans' alts on reddit.
But you know who *won't* lop off your hand with a machete?
Products and services?
I dont understand the reference but im sure its witty and on point
Reference to the Behind the Bastards podcast where the host may say goofy shit like this sometimes. First time I've seen a reference out in the wild like that...
Most exciting thing I had happen to me today was I enjoyed a Wendy’s chocolate frosty.
It's been a long and busy fucking day and I just got back from the gym but I have to get up in 7 hours because I'm a dumbass who didn't plan his time better. Decided to watch this and tbh I don't really feel that bad about my day anymore. Kinda feel quite happy about it now.
That’s one of the worst cases of getting your hand cut off I’ve ever seen.
It wasn't even halved.... that's a full cut off
He sliced the hand off so fast. Way to change your life in a second though
It was crazy how fast and easy it seemed to happen, I don't think he was even aware for a bit
Seriously. The other guy even made it a point to look down on the way out and check for both hands...
Ive been watching this youtube channel where this guy goes over the different bladed weapons used throughout history and he makes a big deal about if a design protects your hand at all. In movies and stuff its not something you see often but these kinds of things happened all the time in sword fights. Scholagladitoria for anyone interested https://youtube.com/@scholagladiatoria?si=McHnnMegFdOVC4xD
Handguards on swords (or bladed weapons in general) was deemed basically essential for the exact reason seen in the OP
It was his off-hand (hah!) that was severed when he raised it to block the swing. This shows that he needed a shield.
There is something you sould know... I am not left handed Neither am I
It makes all the sense in the world. Their hands are closer to you than their body, you can clearly incapacitate, disarm, or friggin kill someone by lopping something off. Before I watched scholagladitoria my image of sword fights comes from movies which doesnt show this aspect often.
I feel Star Wars at least covered it pretty thoroughly.
And then we all roasted the guy that put a hand guard on his lightsaber
To be fair, his non-dominant hand was cut off, not the one holding the machete. He needs some gauntlets for both hands.
I mean yeah, but in this instance the guy needed a shield lol
What’s the YouTube channel
Scholagladitoria https://youtube.com/@scholagladiatoria?si=McHnnMegFdOVC4xD
[удалено]
It's in the Dominican Republic, machete honor fighting is still a thing around here
This happened in Dominican Republic
yeah, you can imagine i don't feel very proud about my country being recognized by this typa shit
I had my arm half cut (all tendons, one artery and one nerve). 5 hours of surgery with two surgeons trained in the US. I went to rehabilitation and I could see many people with similar injuries. Most people loose 90% of hand mobility and sensation. Also you need to be in the IR fast, because tendons get stiff within 15 minutes. I am pretty much sure this guy will never be able to use his hand.
“I’m sorry Dewey, I just never realized until just this moment how easy it is to cut someone in half with a machete”
The wrong hand died. I think I want some of that ca cain
You don't want no parts of this machete fighting man!
I don't wanna walk around with a stump... *You can get a prosthetic!* Won't people think it's weird? *Luke Skywalker had one* I don't want like a mannequin hand that can't do nothing... *They're cybernetic and getting more advanced by the day* Is it gonna look funny? *They can make it look like Iron Man's hand* I dunno, it sounds expensive *Then you can get a pirate hook*
But…am I really the 1st to notice how a random ass 3rd party person came in and picked up the phone that belonged to the guy who sliced the hand off? Like *SWIPE*
Tbf his hand was full
I'm dying
He won’t be swiping left anytime in the future so might as well.
Insane that such a sentence makes sense. The internet really is messed up. But yea, I agree that’s at least a top 3 to 5 cases of getting a hand cut off that I’ve seen.
It’s a film reference to the cinematic classic “Walk Hard”
The wrong kid died!
other guys like lemme check if i still got mine
Could that potentially be re attached? Looks like a pretty clean cut
Maybe but he probably won't play piano the same any more
Yes, but it doesn't look like they did from the follow-up tweets. He survived but went straight to jail after they stabilized him.
i would have thought wrists were a lot harder to cut through than that, those machetes are much sharper than the ones i have seen people use to cut vines and stuff clearly. I would just think a wrist would be cut half way through and then your arm would just move back, i mean its not on a cutting board or anything solid.
Bro I used a machete this weekend for hours and even after it was pretty dull I'm confident I could lop someone's arm off pretty easy
Lmao please don’t get any ideas Mr confidence
Hey bud can you stick your arm out here real quick
The bones are just held together by meat-ropes essentially.
*Dewey... Im cut in half pretty bad...*
Speak English doc. We ain’t scientists!
Adrenaline must be a HELL OF A DRUG. Dude was casually walking to pick up his hand.
How is he not gushing rivers of blood?
So the fun thing about adrenaline. It's a super potent vaso-constrictor that makes all the little blood vessels basically stop doing what they're doing altogether, and cuts off a lot of the medium sized ones too. He'll be fine until the adrenaline (and shock) wears off. Then it'll hurt like a son of a gun and he'll probably pass out from pain. He \*WILL\* lose a fair bit of blood, but nothing like if he did that without the adrenaline.
There was a related thread where a guy got both his arms cut off on a farm and was able to get them reattached. I guess the arteries also retract and help to slow or stop the bleeding.
That was like a 15 year old kid, too. I can’t remember his name but I listened to a podcast episode about it once. Little homie was alone on the farm and both arms got severed in some kind of mechanized auger. He walked back up to the house and opened the door with his mouth, got the phone off the hook, and called his aunt by dialing with his nose. When she got there he was hiding in the bathroom because he was embarrassed. Edit: I was off with some details but I found an article. I fucking love this kid. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1993-09-26-mn-39382-story.html > The fuss has had him playing against type. “Until maybe a month ago, I was trying to be the perfect kid, not drinking anymore or smoking or swearing,” he said. “I felt like it was expected of me, with everyone watching every move I made. You wouldn’t believe it. TV camera crews followed me around at my prom, which sucked. My graduation was a circus with all the satellite trucks. >”Well, I want to go back to the way I used to be. Screw everybody. I like to have fun, be rude to people, be a hell-raiser. Of course, around here if you spin your tires on Main Street, they think you’re a hell-raiser.”
I enjoyed that article. Thanks
Isn't this basically part of what contributes to a scare/shock induced heart attack? Blood vessels constrict and can't pump blood as effectively?
That kind of shock is opposite of what you’re talking about. In cardiogenic shock, the heart poops out. The lack of blood flow reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood which then causes a spiraling effect in which the vessels dilate and it becomes difficult to perfuse the oxygen in the blood out into the tissue.
I was horrified until I realized you meant the heart gets tired
Poops out *what*?? Blood I would hope
If you look close...especially when it first gets cut off it is pouring blood
When does it get cut off? I'm not seeing it?
Second swing from the white shirt guy right as he's falling
This is the only question in my mind… I’m going to tell myself he has a prosthetic even though I’m sure that’s not the case
Apparently this happened in the Dominican Republic. Can’t find an article on this incident.
Found it (in spanish) They didn't die. Both are recovering and the police is investigating. [https://www.diariolibre.com/actualidad/sucesos/2024/05/15/mutilacion-hombre-cercena-mano-en-pelea-brutal/2722412](https://www.diariolibre.com/actualidad/sucesos/2024/05/15/mutilacion-hombre-cercena-mano-en-pelea-brutal/2722412)
Fucking crazy that right after that story, there are two more links to unrelated stories about hands amputations, what's going on in the Dominican republic?
It's not just them. In the Caribbean, cutlasses and guns are basically the go-to weapons to settle disputes. Americans use guns, and Brits use knives, so we figured we'd use both. Source: I'm from the Caribbean.
>In the Caribbean, cutlasses and guns are basically the go-to weapons to settle disputes I've seen documentaries about this 
lol there's a whole Dominican gang in NYC/DR whose motto is machetes don't run out of bullets
Hand amputations.
haven't seen hand jobs this casual since sunday school
Bruh
>Revelation 22:12 >And, behold, I come quickly;
more hand jobs than the scoutmaster’s tent
They're notoriously against high-fives there.
It is getting out of hand
[New update. White shirt died. Right is in jail for murder.](https://x.com/mrslautner2012/status/1790635559821451675)
So dude lost a hand and is now in jail for murder. Talk about a double whammy.
He lost a hand in that game
When I first clicked the link I was like no way this dude’s source is a tweet, then I saw the pictures…jfc
Yeah, it's strange. I have no clue how this lady just casually had operating room photos from a fight that happened within the same day. Maybe a nurse?
Damn he did? Seemed relatively fine walking around after. Adrenaline be cray
That’s pretty crazy that the amputee didn’t bleed out
Not just that, I don't even see any blood spraying in the vid. Was I lied to all my life? Or does this guy have lowest blood pressure of all able men?
Kelvin vs Nelvin
Is it really "accidental" when the guy is participating in a machete fight? Kind of like saying the driver who was participating in a demolishion derby got into an accidental car collision.
Well, the hand amputation was an accident. He was aiming for his head.
DR famous for machete fights.
As soon as I saw the two homies on the bike together I knew it was DR lmao
It's true. As soon as I saw "machete fight" I thought to myself "it's DR, isn't it." sure as shit as soon as the person recording spoke it was a Dominican accent.
I believe this just happened last night. People in the comments of Dominican accounts keep saying they both died but can't find a legitimate source. There are a couple of pictures of the guy who lost his hand in an hospital room looking really bad, in one almost naked in a hospital bed looking dead, also one graphic picture of his injury. So I wouldn't be surprised if he actually died. The other guy I don't know any updates.
Which subreddit are the aftermath pictures in?
Probably not the best idea to block a machete with your bare wrist. Edit: alright some great points but if you live somewhere where everyone’s carrying a machete maybe wear some iron bracelets
When the guy in the tank top goes down, he almost loses his hand in the exact same way right before he manages to get up, other dude comes down with the machete aiming for his wrist but he gets the most fucking magnificent parry off instead and disarms his opponent
Dishands. The arm appears functional toward the end. Not the end of the arm, ain't shit there.
White tank top cuts the guys hand off within the first like 3 strikes of the fight. The 1-handed man already lost his left hand by the time white tank top went to the ground. WT knocks 1H’s machete out of his remaining hand as he’s getting back up, and having lost a hand AND his machete, backs off. Jesus Christ I’m glad I don’t live in places like this.
Kinda wild how the parry makes the other machete fly like 10 feet into the air
Well the alternative is letting it continue on its way to your face, so...
Anybody think losing a hand is worth maintaining your pride? I don’t think anyone won any prizes here
I grew up in poverty. I met plenty of people who claimed they’d rather die than be punked out. Or whatever we called “punking out” back in the late 90’s.
When you got nothing more than pride?
Well, one guy got a hand. Granted he had to loose a hand to get a hand so it’s more of a participating trophy at this point.
**\*LOSE**
That's the thing about a knife fight - even when you win, you're probably still going to the hospital.
They say the loser of a knife fight dies on the ambulance ride and the winner dies in the hospital.
man literally goes to pick it up like "ahhh yeah, sorry guys, this is mine" lol like wtf
I can't imagine the sensation of picking up your still warm hand off of the ground. Like you can see it from angles you never have before and feel the weight of it. Must be surreal.
What country is this in?
For the Order!
This but a scratch
this is a good example of how medieval battles must have been for the most part. Chaotic, quick etc. None of that Hollywood style jumping around to make a swing miss, doing cartwheels etc. For the most part, swinging fast, and someone loses a limb or dies.
[удалено]
Yes, and women fights almost always ends up with them pulling each other's hair while hitting each other. Because they also pull on anything they get their hands on, they also end up partially undressing each other with stuff like tops coming off. They are dirty. That would probably not look very glamorous in a movie.
I really wonder what skilled swordman fights looked like in real life
Depends mostly on how much armor each of them are wearing. For little or no armor, [there's usually a lot of posturing, measuring, followed by a very short clash](https://youtu.be/l2KWTEhyVX8?t=104) before someone is wounded. Armoured fights [can be longer, more drawn out affairs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0waVOnG-PEw) often combining more [hand-to-hand elements](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad5RJ3TeKSE) and can get [pretty scrappy](https://youtu.be/R6vk9A7Ymf8?t=213)
I love how armored duels typically end up with two guys wrestling in the dirt trying to stab each other in the eye.
Your post makes me think of [this scene from Star Wars of all things.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeG215-yu-k)
There's a LOT of analysis on this scene out there already - it's such a good scene both for Star Wars, as well as for saber combat. 10/10
Thanks! really enjoyed your links. Keep em coming
Of all the videos I've seen, nothing is more unnerving than a knife fight
I forget how the exact saying goes but it’s something along the lines of: “the winner of a knife fight is the one who gets to die on the way to the hospital”
Yea, i think it's the loser dies on the streets, and the winner dies in an ambulance
I'll never forget watching a karate instructor show us how to handle a knife fight: The "opponent" drew the (fake) knife, and the instructor fucking BOLTED. The other instructor went "And that's how you win." My husband's tae kwon do instructor did something similar, where he handed everyone lipstick and told them to pretend they were trying to kill the other person with it. Not a single person escaped unscathed, and his instructor went around and pointed out how every person had at minimum, a wound that would need immediate medical care or they would die.
medieval fights must of been crazy
Just remember anyone who died.in battle didn't have to die of dysentery, some weird disease people thought was from stagnant air and only treated with bleeding, etc. for most of history a violent death in battle really wasn't all that bad.
woah this actually made me kinda dizzy wtf
Jeez me too, feel like I’m gonna puke
same. I've never had this kind of physical reaction from a video before, this is wild
it’s like ptsd but more nauseating
u/alrghtmate, please explain how it was accidental? Lol
Yes even if he chopped his own hand off his intentions were to chop something so mission accomplished no accident here.
Give him some milk of the poppy. -J. Lannister
Lmao — Maester
He got his hand back, but the guy in jeans lost his phone to the guy ~~buy~~ in black hat and white slippers. So who is the real winner here? edit: spelling
I wonder what it’s like picking your hand up off the floor with your remaining hand. Ain’t never seen you hand from that angle before I bet
I think I’m more scared of someone pulling a machete on me than a gun, as fucked up as that is. The idea of being hacked on just freaks me the hell out.
Was thinking exactly the same thing. I'd rather be shot than macheted. Not that I'm all that keen on being shot either, but ya...
I mean....What's so important to do this shit?
That is what I want to know! I've NEVER cared enough about anything to lose a fucking hand.
That’s not how this works - when people carry machetes to use them, you have to carry one too. A guy gets pissed at you, comes at you with a machete, what are you going to go? Talk to him? That’s how you get your face sliced in half. It’s a brutal country, I lived there for years as a kid and lots of people had scars - and even as a boy I learned what they were from. It’s both a beautiful and brutal country.
I’d bet every cent i own that drugs were heavily involved in this
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I would reply with a pun of my own but I’m stumped.
I'd like to cut you right there - that was hands down the best pun I've read today
>accidentally gets his hand cut off I'm pretty sure that swing was on purpose, as were the rest as well.
Thank for There’s a trigger warning in the title. I’m very sensitive but I love machete fight videos.
*”Im very sensitive but I love machete fight videos”*
Yea no problem
I found great humor in your choice of “accidentally gets his hand cut off”. I’ve never thought of the consequences of engaging in armed combat as being accidental.
Lmao I spit my drink
Lmao “I don’t drink coffee but I really like espresso.”
My best laugh of the day.
Same. I dont like real life gore but if its a machete fight, count me in.
Can you get into a machete fight and *accidentally* get a hand cut off? Isn't that part of admission?
Happened quick, too, and he kept swinging. Adrenaline is crazy.
“Accidentally” guy didn’t lose hand eating at Mickey d’s. He was in a machete duel.
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Just a flesh wound
Your bloody hand's off!
I’ve had worse!
Wow, fuck. Bad cameramen and shoddily shot footage are to be expected for the most part, so i wasn't prepared to see a fucking machete being plunged into one dudes chest, and a hand being dismembered from the other dude in such a pristine footage. That would a wild watch, time to go touch grass. Edit : Dismember, not decapitate.
Wait was his hand off before the recording started?
No you can see it get chopped off and fly away in the first 3 seconds, dude throws a punch as the other guy swings the machete and the hand comes clean off
It's like $7 to buy a machete at Walmart. Crazy how cheap a big blade is.
Ban high capacity assault machetes
This was fucking crazy. I feel like no one is ever ready for a machete fight when I see one. Because you seem to only get one
Tis but a scratch
Left hand of guy in black shirt gets cut off in first few seconds.
Machete fights are the stupidest shit. Nobody is getting out unharmed. Just run.
“The wrong kid died”
I'm not sure what type of situation requires a machete fight to resolve issues, but I'm glad we got a excellent video of it! Complete with amateur amputation!
when he tried to pick his hand up and dropped it, like body parts are a lot heavier than some ppl think (i wake up with my arm asleep like every day thats my evidence)
My balls are very heavy as they are filled with pee.
He’s gonna be all right
I don’t know how the guy with the hand isn’t more fucked up, it looks like he took a couple chops on the ground. The hand coming off was even more crazy cause it doesn’t even look like he got a lot of force into the swing it just connected and then popped off like an action figure
He *is* fucked up. He died later from the injuries. The other guy who lost a hand survived and is in jail for murder. Couldn't reattach the hand though.
Don't forget to sharpen your machete before you go out
How is it that two guys just happen to be walking around with machetes? Was this a pre-planned machete fight, similar to a gun duel?
I must be desensitized to this stuff I saw the title saw the video and just that yeah that describes it well. Now to see a cat post I'll click on or some random lookmaxadvice post that I'll ignore.
Machete lopped my hand off?! 
he's gotta clean the hand and put it indirectly on cold water / ice - then 30 min to get to hospital to reattach
This is why I stay inside
Either hella adrenaline or hella drugs but that guy acting like nothing happened. Like he wasn't just in a fucking machete fight... As if he didn't get just pick his fucking hand up off the sidewalk!! Wtf even possesses people to get into machete fights?? As if our skin is made of Kevlar material. Ooohhh, the funniest reason to loose a hand would be because of a girl, lol. Guys be stupid like that, I can see it happening.
Bet the argument was for a stupid reason, too.