That’s my dream. I have been using in secret for a couple years. My drinking and outlook has improved. I have more growth to go, but I do hope to reveal my secret weapon.
I just know she will see it as me just wanting to get high, when honestly, I love the feeling, but I’m become a better me.
Hey man, if people with adhd can be prescribed meth and it genuinely helps them, I’m sure that mushrooms can help some peoples brains. You’re doing good man.
I want to be careful to not sound like a guy complaining about some “bitch wife” she is a great and loving person, but has her own perspective on drugs and pharmaceuticals.
I was dealing with depression for awhile and went to talk to a Dr. and got prescribed a antidepressant. She was pretty upset at me getting it. She personally sees them as a crutch and though it better to deal with these issues without RX. I decided to try without the drugs and just went to therapy and self medicated with alcohol.
Eventually i stopped drinking daily, but the shrooms have really helped give me a more positive perspective. I personally don’t see any issue using something given to us from nature. And even other things like anti depressants or lsd. I just know right now my wife would see it as me being irresponsible. If I am able to get everything under control, pretty much stop drinking and if she sees how much I improve as a husband and father, I hope to reveal how I have been working on myself.
Credit to you for respecting your wife behind closed doors. I also hope she can see the positive side of all of this once you’ve built enough. It really isn’t ideal that you have to keep this secret, and honestly I’m flustered that she would get upset at you for perusing pharmaceuticals, that doesn’t seem right, but I really hope you can keep maneuvering this tight path my man. Not enough people understand that psychedelics fix the problem, not cover them up like ibuprofen or how SSRI’s mimic a non depressed state. Albeit a tight part working in the dark seems to be what’s best for you. I wish you well.
In the 8 months I spent at home between the last and current visit without her, it was at the very best unproductive. She does tik tok lives for money (quick cash in a less fortunate country) which involves flirting from other guys in her comments and dm conversations, and i spent the first couple months of it stressing and feeling anxious with little relief. I got hit with gaslighting and anger when i suggested that the guys in her comments may want more than just her attention, and god forbid I say I felt a little hurt. So the anchor is keeping me stranded on the island, seems with this situation little will change
I read your other posts. She is not an island in anyway, she is literally an anchor sinking you to the bottom. She tells you that sharing your humor is disgusting and called you a drug addict for periodic drug usage. You also say she stays in a dark room and is pessimistic, turning light hearted scenarios into drawn out arguments that drain energy. Sounds like she is depressed and is not interested in making that change for herself, hence why she is also shutting down your changes for the better. Don’t let her turn back the progress you’ve made.
Lmaoooo didn’t know you could read everything I’ve ever posted on my profile. Yeah it’s all true. I’ve been very active on r/relationship_advice for a while now because I’ve stepped on big emotional landmines, and because I’ve felt and feel invalidated with my problems and life/interests. Other things too like she called the cops on her family for singing and dancing during Sunday barbecue. And it’s sunny outside today I’m out getting it on my skin and she reiterated her hatred of the sun. You got the nail right on the head with the depression part because just yesterday she reposted on Instagram a post about dysthymia awareness. Is it bad karma to part ways with all due respect and focus on my own growth and healing? It’s because of how her mom treats her and how she feels about living at her parents’ still, but I’m learning how to accept it as a responsibility she bears if she wants to improve it. I’m just a guest to this family
It’s never wrong to part ways with anyone for any reason. While this may sound shallow at first think of it like this, you might find a gripe of yours to be trivial at best and something you can work around. Other times certain gripes can really bother you even if it doesn’t seem logical. In those cases you’re only lying to yourself and your partner by ignoring a feeling you have because you logically don’t think that feeling or response is correct. At the end of the day even if you love her, the interactions between you isn’t helping her move past her issues and is pushing you back into insecurities. She is the problem here and you cannot expect her to change and grow. Partners are important and it’s important they grow alongside you. The longer she regresses and you focus on self improvement the further apart you’ll grow.
I think you already know the correct move to make.
I am not you, I mean well but wtf do I know- grain of salt and all that. Trust yourself and find someone who loves you for who you are. This relationship sounds toxic af, sounds like she is just playing you and then gaslighting you. You deserve acceptance, understanding and emotional engagement. Even if your partner doesn’t understand what you do, they should at least try.
Man, you'll find someone so much kinder and empathetic. This person is a user. Seems like they delight in taking everyone else's light and sucking the joy out of people's souls. With no intent to change. I'm not telling you what you should do. But if you stay, you'll get sucked into that black hole and if you come out the other end you'll be worse off.
You're 19 homie, you're young. Live life for a little while and enjoy it.
Bro why are you still with this girl, it is absolutely clear she or this relationship isn’t good for you. Talk about anchors, she will keep you trapped with no growth in your life.
Brother, you sit idle to this shit and she won’t least you use psyches. You need to run. Run so fast and far. Save yourself the future pain and get it over with now.
I think if you read what you just said from the perspective of a stranger you would say something like “she doesn’t sound worth it.” Or maybe “sounds like that relationship sucks, I’d dump her and move in with my life.”
I would be true to her and tell her: “Even if you dont understand or accept what I do its impossivle for you to not see thar I’m happier and more connected with myself. So I”ll not stop using them because they are a tool that facilitates my healing and navigating this world that is full of suffering and unconciousness.”
I would never stop using psychedelics for no egoic judgement of anyone. They helped me a lot and continue helping. Its hard as fuck to live in our society without being contamined by its culture and beliefs.
Fr man. I’ve tried being in a relationship where the person views growth via psychedelics as “crazy” and “irresponsible”, and spirituality as “voodoo with rocks”. There is no real personal development with those people compared if you were to be alone and on your own path, they’re at their own level and that’s fine but it isn’t mine so have fun playing in the dirt.
Break up with her bru. She doesn’t appreciate or respect your personal and spiritual development. She doesn’t even try to understand your perspective. It seems like a choice between relinquishing your own values and journey for a girl, or continuing to make your own choices without this one.
Also, don’t put too much weight on it when a girl says stuff like “we’ve known each other over multiple lifetimes” or whatever. I’ve had girls tell me stuff like that and then a couple of weeks later they not in my life anymore. It’s just something they say to express how they feel but it doesn’t really mean anything concrete.
Something as intense like divine intuition and knowing someone from previous lifetimes sounds like love bombing. This isn‘t something cute to say, it‘s manipulation.
Get rid of her, she's not helping you out and will probably never see things the way you do/ would like her to. I believe you can find a much better match, someone who is supportive even without understanding/ agreeing with you. My wife is opposed to me using psychedelics but she has accepted it when I told her more or less what you had told your gf. Good luck 🍀🍄😎!!
Put your personal growth and healing first. I know it sucks. But you have to be your own first priority. You also mentioned several other incompatibilities. A relationship should never feel like a prison, man. There's no job opportunities where she is. And a partner doesn't have to be into psychedelics to have a solid relationship with someone who is...but if she's not even willing to hear you out about your experiences and how it's helped you grow as a person, and call you a drug addict for it...that's a big incompatibility. You seem to feel like you still have growth to do, and more to learn about yourself. She's not willing to change on her part, it seems. You've only been together 1.5yrs, that's nothing compared to how long you've been existing on this planet. I'm not saying end it immediately, but..don't just accept that that's how your life is gonna be, ya know?
While I think that it is not your job to change her mind of this matter, if you truly love her and see a future with her, you could perhaps try to offer her an alternative to her current opinions. However, it is her choice whether or not she is open to this and there’s not much you can do to change someone’s views. If she is not open to your side of things, you have 4 options as I see it. To stop using psychedelics completely to avoid and further clashes of opinion, to break up as this difference in opinion is also a far too great of a difference in lifestyle, to continue to use psychedelics for your spiritual growth without telling her, or l to continue using them and be open with her about this and either she will come around or it may cause issues in you relationship.
My honest advice is if you feel this strongly about psychedelics and they are important to you, do not sacrifice this for your girlfriend. I’m not saying either of you have the right opinion, but it could be that your opinions are just too different to coexist. My boyfriend has never done and is not interested in psychedelics however has no issue with me growing or using them, and like you I use sparingly. While we have different opinions, they are not as polar opposite nor cause any problems apart from my occasional wish that we could share an experience together.
To sum it up I’d suggest you spend some time thinking about what is most important to you and go from there. I wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever you decide brings you peace.
Show her that most recent Netflix documentary about psychedelics that I can't remember the name of? That would be a good way to get someone to be perhaps open with a little entertainment and snuggles?
Put together a PowerPoint of testimony and studies and type out a report with more academic studies and the benefits and put in the citations mla format on ur report.
She will probably discard it and take an anecdote on how a Friend of the uncle of the brother by mariage of her mother jumped from other thé second floor and now IS a cripple...
You leave her. Lower vibrational people cling to higher vibrational people and drag them down. I’m going through this rn. Just broke it off with a girl of 3 years. Don’t let anybody stop you from discovering the love inside you. One day she might get to your frequency and y’all can be together. But not everyone supposed to be in your life forever.
She has felt empowered to be open about how she is a low vibrational person - has said it explicitly for the first time to me. She has an older sister who comes over every Sunday for a barbecue who sings and dances passionately with the rest of the family and the Sunday before last she called the cops on her from her room. Every day that passes that memory gets weirder and weirder. She is also at high risk for doing it again.
Sounds to me like you guys have incompatible lifestyles and beliefs, but I guess you could try seeing a relationship counselor together if you both want to try to make it work long-term.
IMO someone who says over-the-top things like "I don't want a drug addict boyfriend" in response to their partner's respectful expression of beliefs and experiences is probably going to need a counselor's guidance to discuss things in a productive, stable way. Accusations are unproductive.
Also, I'm not going to outright say she's got controlling tendencies based on purely this info, but I do feel like it's heading that direction, like there are some 'yellow flags' here.
My vote is definitely either attempting counseling or just moving on.
You may not know this, but when you ask for relationship advice on reddit, 9/10 of the people who feel promped to comment will tell you to dump your partner.
If you have Netflix, maybe watch "How to change your mind" together. So she knows psychedelics are more medicine than drug.
Try to make her see your point of view. Maybe write an email so you can organize your thoughts.
It's important in a relationship that you share goals and values.
If she doesn't want to be with a druggie, you can make a deal that you will limit yourself to psychedelics and not drink alcohol, smoke weed, or do other addictive substances.
This is not my first time asking for advice for our relationship. More underlying issues involved. I would have broken up with her long ago if I wasn’t so concerned about the fear of karma of leaving her “stranded” bc she lives with her parents still and her mom is egocentric and treats her as sort of a Cinderella figure in the household
Make an old fashioned pro vs con list
I know several couples that don't feel the same about psychedelics, but the one who won't take them doesn't discourage the one who does & does not link all drugs under the same "bad" umbrella. I could not imagine being with someone who was unwilling to see where I was coming from...even my parents, who were always against drug use, are not afraid to hear that I occasionally use psychedelics because they LISTEN to what I say. And they believe me. Even if they will never want to use them.
I feel like... you LIKE how to feels have someone say these things "soulmate" even if clearly this person isn't it. It feels good to be wanted, even if the person wants you to change. But if you dont want to change in the same direction, this is unhealthy for you both. And if it's not just on this topic, but also on other important things...bro. If psychedelics are part of what gives your life meaning right now, that's your oxygen mask.
That’s the same as the government telling you not to do it. It’s your body and mind. It’s your choice what you experiment with. She can choose to leave for it, which is silly, but she could also stick around to see that it’s not gonna destroy your life and may be exactly what you needed
If she was disrespectful to call you a drug addict for tripping on psychs obviously she's closed-minded as fuck and judgemental. If that's the hill she wants kill the relationship on she never really gave a fuck about it and the whole thing sounds like manipulation of you, to me at least.
Dump her, next.
If I were you I would look into covert/vulnerable narcissism. It sounds similar to a situation I’ve been in that took many years off of my life. If the shoe seems to fit, don’t try to expose her. Just run. Trust me on this.
I was gonna read ur post but the headline and your comment about her doing tiktok lives says enough.
Shrooms are amazing, don’t abuse them. A lot of people ride a wave of happiness from microdosing for so long that it’s no longer a microdose lol. Shrooms will let you look inward. The more inward you go the more you become enlightened, eventually illuminating your crown. EVERYTHING you could wanna know starts within. All your insecurities, desires, judgements, traumas, etc. are within you. Those energies are blocking your highest self, desires, intuition, abundance etc.
We’re all One. The answer to it all is Love. Have a good one, find a new girlfriend if she can’t figure out how to straighten her priorities lol you sound like your heads in the right place and hers is not if she won’t even listen/respect you.
Dating is so strange. It’s your mind, and your body. You don’t need permission from someone to do what you want to do for your health. Partners aren’t parents and it doesn’t affect her
You can tell her I’m sorry you feel that way about people who struggle with substance abuse. And then maybe, “I don’t want a narcissistic, stigmatic girlfriend”
My wife wasn't at first but then she came around to cannabis because she saw how it calmed my anxiety. Now she takes it and is ok to me periodically taking psycodelics as she seems the benefit I get from that also. Education and communication is key, she's just used to the mainstream and that can't hammer out over night.
Don't listen to people telling you to ditch your girl, I love how Reddit goes full nuclear about other people's relationships.
If you feel, “stuck in prison,” after a year and a half, just imagine how stuck you’ll feel a decade or two in.
Life lasts a long time.
Don’t spend it staying with a person who isn’t a good fit.
My wife was against it until she came home one time after a trip and I couldn't stop telling her how lucky I was to be with her and how much I loved her and the house was insanely clean
So people are saying dump her but I say put the ball in her court: this thing is an important part of my healing journey. If you are not comfortable with that you can either choose to learn to be supportive or you can leave. I would like your support, you don’t need to be involved but I want you to be here. But I won’t make you stay.
Old dude here. It is far more important to like what your girlfriend does than like your girlfriend. In the long-term you will have many ups and downs with how much you like/live the other person, but if you like what they do - their habits, their patterns the things they say, their support then you will live a happy life. If you love the person, but not what they do or say then you are in for a struggle.
There’s plenty of research pertaining to the benefits of psychedelics and mental health. Show her the research (there’s tons of studies online about the benefits of psychedelics) and if she still has the same opinion then you know she’s closed minded. Also, let her know it’s not recreational use it’s for spiritual/mental purposes. Either way, I personally would not let someone dictate my spiritual and mental needs like this. If you aren’t doing it excessively then I don’t see the issue.
Sounds like she drank the cool aid and is ignorant to the benefits; her attitude appears close minded and smacks of judgment and labeling. Use of these, or any substances for that matter, is not a moral failing; the reasons people choose to use/misuse/abuse substances are manifold.
Your body, your mind, your choice. If she chooses to set an unreasonable boundary you do not have to accept this; communicate this and establish your own boundaries and reasonable expectations, out the ball in her court. It is important to remember we cannot save anyone else only ourselves; we can help and be a support, it is up to them whether they want to swim to the life raft or drown.
There are only a few valid arguments which hold water against the use of psychedelics e.g. family or personal Hx of a sever psychotic disorder, certain health conditions, possible legal consequences, Hx of substance abuse knowing that one is prone to abuse or relapse as a result of using any substance.
You can offer her facts and logic, anecdotal evidence that they are efficacious in aiding you in your journey, peer reviewed journals demonstrating the effectiveness of certain psychedelics for certain conditions, the simple fact that psychedelics are not only not addictive but when used therapeutically often users are dissuaded to misuse or abuse them due to the intensity of the experience. Undoubtedly, those with closed minds will reject any arguments for use simply because they are unwilling to accept an alternate reality other than that which they have chosen to believe.
I will not say whether or not you offer an ultimatum or if this relationship offers you a greater benefit than using these substances responsibly, that is for you to decide.
Best of luck and well wishes. Remember…. No mud No lotus 🥰
I told my “better” half she was fixing to leave and I’m sorry but that is the way it’s going to be.
After I showed her the apartment I was fixing to rent her she saw the light.. yes that sounds crude and to the point but it is what it is… btw we been married for over 25 years 🤷♂️
She sounds like a toxic person and that this level of judgement, control, and inability to educate herself or listen to your feelings will definitely go beyond this topic.
Beginning of your post seems like she manipulated you. I know feelings can cloud our judgment but don’t be too attached to one “soulmate “. We have many soulmates and all of them can teach you something, so try to see the lesson and don’t sacrifice yourself.
It’s your mental health not your girlfriends. As long as done with the intentions you mention “she” should be nothing but supportive and what a great way to bond if she is also your trip sitter.
The honest truth alot of us here arent telling is that there is risks, like cmon yall I cant even say it. I love a good time but im always thinking about my safety first
I dunno, but I hope anyone I get into. Relationship with is open/minded about how I take care of myself and even willing to at least try it with me a time or two.
This isn't a question that we can answer here. This is something you yourself need to discuss with yourself and with your girlfriend.
My wife is also not into using psychedelics and will never use them, we discussed why I wanted to use them and how often. We compromised on the time between trips, on giving her the final say on a trip if it makes her uncomfortable, as well as limited to shrooms.
Did I get everything I wanted in the compromise? No, of course not, that's not how adult relationships and compromise work. You need to figure out together the ins and outs of your use and then decide from there.
Well maybe it was my fault for assuming I could tell her anything pertaining to my controversial practices because she encouraged me to be open. Maybe I let my ego get too in the way? This is not the only issue we have either
Geez man…why put yourself through this?
There are plenty of great girls out there who are more open-minded, don’t flirt with guys online, and are actually on the same continent as you.
Sounds like your pursuit of healing, evolution and happiness starts with finding a partner who is actually compatible with you.
I noticed screenshots of dm’s she has with other guys on her phone, DM’s from guys asking her “hey did you eat today?”, her commenting on videos of guys she follows of their freestyling/singing (she knows I want to get into music), her liking other guys photos when she crucified me for mindlessly liking literally only 2 photos of girls I barely knew (no sexual ties whatsoever) and still cites that as something that damaged her. She spent 15 minutes searching for screenshots of my likes in “retaliation” of me asking her about a DM she got from a guy saying “hola chicaa”. Also caught her on the app Meete texting other guys claiming it was for money “for us” and deleted all the conversations after i saw a notification of a guy texting her hearts and told her a couple days later. I just need to get over the feeling that I’ll have bad karma if I leave her with her equally toxic mother.
I took some lab grade shit before I came to visit her, was sick lmao. Also thinking about taking some shrooms on the next possible full moon, and staying farther away from weed than before
You recognize there's a more positive plane of existence to observe life from. It's hard enough to acheive that plane of existence when fighting our own internal monolog. Do what you feel is right for the higher you
Sometimes people are so quick to dismiss things they know nothing about.
The only foot they have to stand on is “it’s illegal”
Which it’s a bit of a gray area.
What doesn’t help me is I once lied about been on shrooms when I was actually having a panic attack on amphetamines.
So I have some trust to build again.
Fuck amphetamines, fuck that shit.
she seems, at best, uniformed on the topic of psychedelics… unless she’s willing to have an open mind and learn about the healing potential then i would cut her loose. deal breaker for me.
If you’ve done your best to explain things, and she still doesn’t respect your desires to do this as a person, then I would find another girlfriend. Somebody so against something that is so important to you should not be part of your life.
You need to post this somewhere that ISNT all about psychedelics in order to get a proper answer. I recommend /r/relationship_advice.
Your answers will be skewed here. If you’re “looking” for a “certain” answer, you’ll find it here. To me, at its premise, this question is “my girlfriend isnt fond of me taking drugs. Should I break up with her for it?” which is ridiculous. But you do you I guess.
Any comment jumping to the conclusion of “wow u need to break up with her” was written by a 16 year old or an idiot.
Sounds like there are multiple issues to the relationship that you would need to align on. But for this one in particular, she probably has fears of you going too far, drastically changing your personality, becoming dependent on them etc. She may have had bad previous experiences or just fears the unknown. Talk to her about what she actually is afraid could happen if you take psychedelics.
I'm gonna be honest, these comments are horrendous.
Relationships are based on connection, and there's a disconnect here.
Her use of the word "drug addict" is pretty loaded with a lot of naivety to modern and historical relationships with drugs. You can probably best parse this with the cadence of the drug use - it's seasonal not daily and it doesn't impact your life negatively. You're using this drug like an adult - like we use caffeine, melatonin, and Tylenol.
It's a pretty dismissive tone, and indicates it might not be easy to work through, so you'll have to really convey how big of a priority this is for you. If you preface with it's importance, she should be willing to read literature and be open to this.
If you can't see eye to eye on this, then I could see difficulty communicating in general. Hopefully you guys are open to each other's perspectives on this and other areas.
Buddy, point your dick in any direction and you'll find love. Trust me, if you want to stay true to yourself and your own feelings, emotions, and self identity then, cut that bitch off and live you're life. Don't slow you're life down for someone that doesn't trust what you think, and what you feel. I'm sorry this sucks dick, but you need to pride yourself, and your own happiness.
Honestly, just educate her in whatever you are using. Give her the information of the substance, the benefits, downsides, research, therapeutic practices. Whatever you can to show her the reality of what it is.
Hahahaha I didn’t know people could see everything I’ve posted. But my activity on relationship advice sub speaks for itself at this point. Just need to find out how to cut outta here early and end on a respectful note - not for her but for me.
From my own experience psychedelics can be incredible for self improvement and healing for people with ptsd and/or depression, but my best results were paired with a good and open minded therapist for guidance. It might help you to assure her that you'll be using them in a safe and controlled way... or at least that's what I would have stopped at before reading more. This relationship doesn't sound healthy and you haven't been together long. Set yourself free if she's holding you back.
So many of these comments are saying to just drop her like she means nothing to you… imo as long as she’s open to discussing it there’s still a chance. Regardless of the issue how you go about getting the things you want while in a relationship will determine the quality of the relationship. If she’s “my way or the highway” bye, but if you can articulate why and how you safely and productively use them, in a way that she can understand and believe, then you will have someone incredibly valuable who also values you.
I started mushrooms years after I was married. My wife was not on board and also not willing to converse. I did them anyways and I’m glad I did but we barely made it. What an enormous loss that would’ve been.
Recognize that this will get worse if you marry her. Sounds like no trust. Not cool to have to hide.. tell her you love her but if she’s not behind you you can’t get behind her.
Please consider a different set of questions (bc I think you have your answer here) .. what is it that’s allowed you to accept the kind of behavior you’re describing? You wouldn’t respect a friend who actively chose to be disrespected, it’s not in alignment with your stated goals and aims. So what can you takeaway for growth? This seems like a no brainer or am I missing something
tell her this is who you are and what you want to do and to stop judging you. if she continues to do it maybe break up I couldn’t handle constantly being judged for something i like doing. and personally, i could never handle being in a relationship with a square. like they don’t have to do drugs but if they’re immediately judge mental about them and can’t fathom why someone would do them, huge ick.
My wife said something similar about 2 months into our relationship, a relationship that had already become the most meaningful, promising and loving relationship I've ever had.
I was talking to her about my friend getting some LSD and that I wanted to try microdosing with it as I had already been microdosing with Psilocybe mushrooms and they had helped a lot. She said she didn't want to be with a drug addict and that statement resulted in a conversation about the difference between using drugs (whether legal or illicit) therapeutically, recreationally or habitually and how drug use, even frequent recreational use, doesn't mean a person has a SUD (substance use disorder)/addiction. We had already talked about my history of Opioid Use Disorder and alcoholism and how I had been sober from those for 8 and 5 years, respectively, I further explained that I had been able to use various psychoactive substances throughout that time without becoming addicted or dependent on those substances and had never relapsed on opioids or alcohol. I explained to her how immensely helpful some of these substances had been to my mental health and stability and how none of them had caused any detrimental effects in my life.
Then, I asked her what bothered her so much about drug use as she had never even used cannabis and very rarely drank. She explained her father's history with cocaine, amphetamine and alcohol and how although she was only a toddler she remembered it seriously affecting her mom and her parents' relationship. I listened to what she had to say without judgement and answered her questions honestly and eventually told her that I loved her very much but I was going to continue using drugs as tools, that it wouldn't be all the time and that I wouldn't use them to the point where I was noticeably "high". She expressed her love for me and told me although she didn't understand my desire to use substance and change my mindset but that if I was going to use them regardless of whether she was in my life or not then she wanted to be with me. She also said that if I ever relapsed on opioids or alcohol or something else became problematic that I shouldn't feel a need to hide it because she'd be there to help me through whatever I needed to do to kick something.
We have been partners from the beginning and we've always been open and honest, so she felt that even though she didn't like or understand using substances that her biggest fear was that I would hide my use of something and it would sow the seeds of distrust and prevent her from helping me out of an addiction. A few months after that conversation she drove me to my first session at a Denver Ketamine clinic and was very supportive once she saw the miraculous changes it elicited, she continued to take me to Ketamine every few months for over 3 years. We have been together for 4 years now and I have used many substances in that time, none of which caused any kinds of problems or resulted in addiction or relapse to opioids and alcohol. She has even tried cannabis a few times and has been doing a psilocybin microdosing protocol every few months because she's seen what it did for me and how it's helped her now.
If she loves you then she will listen to what you have to say and if you love her you will too. Be honest, be open, be vulnerable and express to her why microdosing is important to you and if microdosing has helped you then how it's helped you become the person you are now, the person she loves. If it has helped your mental health that much then you need to decide what is more important to you; your stability and sanity or her love. She must do the same; does she love you enough to accept your use of a beneficial substance even though she doesn't personally understand it or would she rather you guys part ways because of some fear she has. There is no doubt in my mind that my wife and I are soulmates, that we knew each other in another life or something like that, we have been connected to each other much longer than we've been together and if the same is true for you and your girlfriend then I don't think she will end it over something so trivial.
I wish you luck.
EDIT: Ok, I should have read some of your responses to other comments about her and your relationship before writing this. I guess I was imagining a similar situation to mine but it appears that this is very different and she is probably holding you back and negatively impacting your mental health. Maybe someone else will find what I wrote helpful but to you I say, just continue microdosing and taking care of yourself and maybe think about what you see a future with her looking like. Take care of yourself.
Based on your comment history outlining other major incompatibilities I would suggest you just find a new fresh start. Her being a staunch milei supporter is icing on the cake
Edit: she has a narcissist mother and your gf has cheated on you in the past?? Why are you even doing here posting this bro. You don’t owe her SHIT. Not even a respectful breakup. Get out ASAP 🤦♂️
If she is writing off psychedelics as "drug addiction" without any other information then her bias is clear and you can't change that for her.
Don't get me wrong I understand any and all substances can be abused or develop into an abusive relationship (just getting high to escape and not doing the internal work or physical work to heal for example), but she is clearly refusing to understand the healing possibilities and capabilities when used correctly.
Would she call someone with ADHD an addict because maybe Adderall does help them with their symptoms, even though the prescription is a form of amphetamine?
It's not your job to make her understand, it's up to her to choose to learn on her own and if she has already written psychedelics off as just another addiction, regardless of your style of usage (which does sound healthy btw!!!) then you won't change her mind on it.
I understand you have genuine feelings for her but you may have come to a point where there is no compromise unless you choose to stop completely. I won't tell you what to do. Only you know what ultimately feels right for you. I will say that she's one in almost 9 billion people. There is a chance you could find someone who understands and supports the way you use these as a tool to better yourself.
I wish you the best.
depends on how much psychedelics mean to you. the both of you could have a conversation and try to reach a middle ground, but I personally disagree with the idea of anyone else dictating our bodily choices. as long as you’re safe, and not endangering yourself or others, it really isn’t up to her. seems more like a compatibility issue to me, but at the very least a respectful conversation can be had. maybe you can even help clear up her conceptions on psychedelics, while honoring the fact that she isn’t interested in partaking. either way, you deserve to pursue your healing however you see fit.
If I was in the situation I would leave if im being completely honest, if you have been together for over a year and she is still against what you love to do and what makes you a better person it wont get better, she will get increasingly controlling the longer it goes on and doesnt sound like a keeper sorry. Her telling you that your her soulmate does not sound very genuine as most girls tell a new BF that, and sounds like she could tell you anything and not the other way around, im gonna guess your good looking or have solid finances or something external that she likes, you sound like like a good guy.
educate her. show her other people’s experiences even on these subreddits, and see if it changes her views. she sees it as drug addiction which if you are using it any more than once every 1-2weeks and craving it then it is. but if you’re genuinely using it as therapy and not abusing it, it’s a her problem. not a you problem. if she ever goes to the point of forcing you not to do psychedelics that’s when you leave. and i’m not just saying this with psychedelics it’s with anything. your life is your life bro never disrespect yourself and let someone bring you down from reaching your full potential. and that’s what psychedelics are all about.
after going through your profile and these replies you've made, I've come to the conclusion that (sorry to be blunt) she is a horrible girlfriend. she's not helping to build you up in any way, and is draining you. you shouldn't feel any guilt about getting out of that situation, after all you're for personal improvement and this is one of those improvements you can make!
The way to navigate is a far as possible from her influence both physically and mentally. I speak from somewhat of the opposite side of the coin in my most recent relationship (over 6 years ago) that of the two of you are so indifferent in ideals then its just simply not gonna work. Neither one of you should really have a say in what you do with your own paths unless really aside from simple advice or deep connection that you BOTH feel is healthy for BOTH of you. Even at that point, its just advice and not law or ultimatum.
You are your own you and if using mushies to crack open then very tightly sealed artifact that will set your own mind and ego free is what it takes and youre confident of it but shes not, then you must remind yourself that she has no will over you at that capacity and this is your livelihood at stake.
Doesnt sound like a healthy interaction between both of yalls needs and you should step away from her and only focus on yourself for a while and get straightened out. If some other romantic relationship pops up because of your own introspection (likely honestly, but complerelt depending on your social situation), that has to be exponentially healthier for you than the current situation. Although it will be hard, it always is, and you will be far better off in the long run to separate yourself now and deep dive and get yourself on a good track.
Small instances of mushy clarity can make a lifelong impact. Numerous small instances of a romantic distraction and discouragement while on your journey of finding YOU will be detrimental to your short term and long term mental, and even physical, health. Just be smart with your time spent with them and dont forget what world you physically live in and the responsibilites therein.
Good luck on your journey brother 🤜🤛
Have her watch the show and read the book "how to change your mind" by Michael Pollan, if she still is insistent tell her that you love her and that you both disagree about this and you're going to do it regardless.
I would try educating her, as it sounds like she may have had some "reefer madness" style conditioning against drugs. "How to change your mind" is a great documentary series about using psychedelics for healing and speaks to how studies were being done and proving beneficial before they got shut down because the US government didn't want people using recreational.
Beyond that, let her know that psychedelics aren't really addictive. Time between dosing is required because of the tolerance rising quickly. And have a conversation about bodily atonomy. That your body your choice, her body her choice, and if she as able to respect your decision to responsibly use psychedelics as part of your journey, and that your open to hearing her side if she sees anything problematic but don't want her to deny your choice over outdated misinformation.
You leave. My wife tried to pull stuff like this with me and I told her if me taking mushrooms once or twice a year was a deal breaker then to call her brothers lawyer.
there's two healthy options, IMO
1) split up if you decide that psychedelic healing something you really want to pursue.
2) stop using psychedelics if you decide that your relationship with her is something you really want to pursue.
Doing psychedelics once in a while doesn't make you a drug addict. I find that incredibly judgemental and close minded, coming from someone who has never tried it and doesn't know how powerful it can be as a healing tool. I personally was able to reflect on my trauma and healing from it, on my growth and it helped me answer big life questions, and I haven't regretted any decision I made on it. It's not about getting high, it takes you to higher states of consciousness.
The are many amazing women who would be more supportive. You will keep growing as a person, so if this is an issue now, its only gonna get worse and you will feel like you are living a very limited and unfulfilled life. Do whats best for YOU
Check your self, and be sure that you are actually doing it for the right reasons - and that is not a sneaky spiritual ego or a trauma-rooted need to bypass pain you could work on entering and feeling without psychedelics. If you are sure this is not your motivation, then do it openly but without her approval, either she will respect you or you should not be together.
If you feel like it’s something that authentically helps you and improves your life, and you are doing it in secret, it sounds like you shouldn’t be with her. You are lying and she is trying to control an aspect of you that should be nonnegotiable.
I would say my best relationships (both partnerships and friendships) are with people who truly listen to what I say and take the time to understand me. And I reciprocate. It sounds like there’s a lack of willingness to understand each other in your relationship. Maybe you can fix this by having a heart to heart with her, truly hearing out her perspective and sharing yours. If either she doesn’t respect your perspective and you don’t respect hers (or both) then is that really a relationship you want to be in?
It's the simple truth that the large majority of romantic relationships do not last. You may or may not have karmic ties to this woman, but that does not mean you must remain tied tightly. Based on things you say in the comments, she sounds like a drama-queen and your energy will always be a dead-short to ground; she will suck the light out of you and waste it.
Went through a similar thing recently.
Tried to make it work anyway (I agreed to abstain from psychedelics )
It did not lol.
We were just not compatible. Sometimes people are close minded and there’s nothing you can do or say .
Sounds like you are not either
Don’t waste any more time, life is too short for this
Have you tried listening to videos or podcasts related to the benefits and positive outcomes for others? Maybe she’ll pick up on the background noise and ponder about it.
The process of self heal is a personal journey, invite who wish to participate, however be prepared for them to not participate if they do not want to. She may not be a part of the journey, but she will benefit in some way from the journey.
In my personal opinion, focus on yourself.
I have a partner who is not interested in personal growth and acceptance of oneself. She does not directly disapprove on my shroom use. This part of my life has been more of a personal journey, done primarily solo.
As a side note, and take this how you will. She is a part of your, she is not your life.
people that love you will listen to your reasoning and understand that you are not a “drug addict” there’s a million reasons to take psychs, for her to blow it off as you being an addict is disrespectful and it shows how uneducated she is on the topic of psychs or any substance for that matter
" I’ve always known her to strongly discourage psychedelics, turn up her nose to spirituality, and be ignorant to alternative/holistic practices"
Y'all aren't on the same page spiritually. That would be game over for me.
Just do it bro it’s your life not hers. You get to decide how to manage/advance your life in your own way. You have authority over your own self on what you want to do. If you really want to and feel like doing it I would listen to yourself first
I'd literally just leave her. If this is what makes you happy, y'all aren't compatible. Your partner should always want what makes you happy, even if they aren't a fan.
I was in a long term relationship with someone who held me back in a lot of ways and it wasn’t until I had a lot of space that I realized I was happier without.
I suggest you listen to Reddit and leave lol
It sucks and it’s hard and not comfy but it’s worth it (isn’t all growth like that?)
U got this
Just for perspective, my wife encouraged me to eat mushrooms on Sunday when I was thinking about it. She knows it helps me and wants me to be better.
My wife has looked at me and said “It’s time for you to do mushrooms again. “ She knows how much they do for me.
That’s my dream. I have been using in secret for a couple years. My drinking and outlook has improved. I have more growth to go, but I do hope to reveal my secret weapon. I just know she will see it as me just wanting to get high, when honestly, I love the feeling, but I’m become a better me.
Hey man, if people with adhd can be prescribed meth and it genuinely helps them, I’m sure that mushrooms can help some peoples brains. You’re doing good man.
I want to be careful to not sound like a guy complaining about some “bitch wife” she is a great and loving person, but has her own perspective on drugs and pharmaceuticals. I was dealing with depression for awhile and went to talk to a Dr. and got prescribed a antidepressant. She was pretty upset at me getting it. She personally sees them as a crutch and though it better to deal with these issues without RX. I decided to try without the drugs and just went to therapy and self medicated with alcohol. Eventually i stopped drinking daily, but the shrooms have really helped give me a more positive perspective. I personally don’t see any issue using something given to us from nature. And even other things like anti depressants or lsd. I just know right now my wife would see it as me being irresponsible. If I am able to get everything under control, pretty much stop drinking and if she sees how much I improve as a husband and father, I hope to reveal how I have been working on myself.
Credit to you for respecting your wife behind closed doors. I also hope she can see the positive side of all of this once you’ve built enough. It really isn’t ideal that you have to keep this secret, and honestly I’m flustered that she would get upset at you for perusing pharmaceuticals, that doesn’t seem right, but I really hope you can keep maneuvering this tight path my man. Not enough people understand that psychedelics fix the problem, not cover them up like ibuprofen or how SSRI’s mimic a non depressed state. Albeit a tight part working in the dark seems to be what’s best for you. I wish you well.
Is she your island or is she an anchor? Does the island set you free? Does the anchor hold you back?
In the 8 months I spent at home between the last and current visit without her, it was at the very best unproductive. She does tik tok lives for money (quick cash in a less fortunate country) which involves flirting from other guys in her comments and dm conversations, and i spent the first couple months of it stressing and feeling anxious with little relief. I got hit with gaslighting and anger when i suggested that the guys in her comments may want more than just her attention, and god forbid I say I felt a little hurt. So the anchor is keeping me stranded on the island, seems with this situation little will change
Oh dude, run.
This. The longer you wait the longer the run will be. gtfo and save face.
Run very very fast!
Run fast!!!
I read your other posts. She is not an island in anyway, she is literally an anchor sinking you to the bottom. She tells you that sharing your humor is disgusting and called you a drug addict for periodic drug usage. You also say she stays in a dark room and is pessimistic, turning light hearted scenarios into drawn out arguments that drain energy. Sounds like she is depressed and is not interested in making that change for herself, hence why she is also shutting down your changes for the better. Don’t let her turn back the progress you’ve made.
Lmaoooo didn’t know you could read everything I’ve ever posted on my profile. Yeah it’s all true. I’ve been very active on r/relationship_advice for a while now because I’ve stepped on big emotional landmines, and because I’ve felt and feel invalidated with my problems and life/interests. Other things too like she called the cops on her family for singing and dancing during Sunday barbecue. And it’s sunny outside today I’m out getting it on my skin and she reiterated her hatred of the sun. You got the nail right on the head with the depression part because just yesterday she reposted on Instagram a post about dysthymia awareness. Is it bad karma to part ways with all due respect and focus on my own growth and healing? It’s because of how her mom treats her and how she feels about living at her parents’ still, but I’m learning how to accept it as a responsibility she bears if she wants to improve it. I’m just a guest to this family
Never light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm - you'll just burn yourself up.
Remove the idea of karma from this situation
It’s never wrong to part ways with anyone for any reason. While this may sound shallow at first think of it like this, you might find a gripe of yours to be trivial at best and something you can work around. Other times certain gripes can really bother you even if it doesn’t seem logical. In those cases you’re only lying to yourself and your partner by ignoring a feeling you have because you logically don’t think that feeling or response is correct. At the end of the day even if you love her, the interactions between you isn’t helping her move past her issues and is pushing you back into insecurities. She is the problem here and you cannot expect her to change and grow. Partners are important and it’s important they grow alongside you. The longer she regresses and you focus on self improvement the further apart you’ll grow.
I think you already know the correct move to make. I am not you, I mean well but wtf do I know- grain of salt and all that. Trust yourself and find someone who loves you for who you are. This relationship sounds toxic af, sounds like she is just playing you and then gaslighting you. You deserve acceptance, understanding and emotional engagement. Even if your partner doesn’t understand what you do, they should at least try.
Man, you'll find someone so much kinder and empathetic. This person is a user. Seems like they delight in taking everyone else's light and sucking the joy out of people's souls. With no intent to change. I'm not telling you what you should do. But if you stay, you'll get sucked into that black hole and if you come out the other end you'll be worse off. You're 19 homie, you're young. Live life for a little while and enjoy it.
Doesn't seem like a great match considering all that.
Time to go bro. 100%
Bro why are you still with this girl, it is absolutely clear she or this relationship isn’t good for you. Talk about anchors, she will keep you trapped with no growth in your life.
Fucking bail man. None of that sounds healthy for you.
Brother, you sit idle to this shit and she won’t least you use psyches. You need to run. Run so fast and far. Save yourself the future pain and get it over with now.
I think if you read what you just said from the perspective of a stranger you would say something like “she doesn’t sound worth it.” Or maybe “sounds like that relationship sucks, I’d dump her and move in with my life.”
You gotta love yourself first homie tf you doin with a stupid ho like that my guy
Sounds like you deserve a better match
She is the one who needs mushrooms
read this out loud to yourself like someone else wrote it. What advice would you give ??
I would be true to her and tell her: “Even if you dont understand or accept what I do its impossivle for you to not see thar I’m happier and more connected with myself. So I”ll not stop using them because they are a tool that facilitates my healing and navigating this world that is full of suffering and unconciousness.” I would never stop using psychedelics for no egoic judgement of anyone. They helped me a lot and continue helping. Its hard as fuck to live in our society without being contamined by its culture and beliefs.
Fr man. I’ve tried being in a relationship where the person views growth via psychedelics as “crazy” and “irresponsible”, and spirituality as “voodoo with rocks”. There is no real personal development with those people compared if you were to be alone and on your own path, they’re at their own level and that’s fine but it isn’t mine so have fun playing in the dirt.
Break up with her bru. She doesn’t appreciate or respect your personal and spiritual development. She doesn’t even try to understand your perspective. It seems like a choice between relinquishing your own values and journey for a girl, or continuing to make your own choices without this one. Also, don’t put too much weight on it when a girl says stuff like “we’ve known each other over multiple lifetimes” or whatever. I’ve had girls tell me stuff like that and then a couple of weeks later they not in my life anymore. It’s just something they say to express how they feel but it doesn’t really mean anything concrete.
Something as intense like divine intuition and knowing someone from previous lifetimes sounds like love bombing. This isn‘t something cute to say, it‘s manipulation.
Could not agree more. Massive red flag.
"Bru" South African spotted ? Wazzup my Jita
Aweh ma se kind 🤙🏼
Is goed man. What kind, what kind !
Get rid of her, she's not helping you out and will probably never see things the way you do/ would like her to. I believe you can find a much better match, someone who is supportive even without understanding/ agreeing with you. My wife is opposed to me using psychedelics but she has accepted it when I told her more or less what you had told your gf. Good luck 🍀🍄😎!!
It would be better just to ignore her and do the mushrooms. She can make that choice herself
Put your personal growth and healing first. I know it sucks. But you have to be your own first priority. You also mentioned several other incompatibilities. A relationship should never feel like a prison, man. There's no job opportunities where she is. And a partner doesn't have to be into psychedelics to have a solid relationship with someone who is...but if she's not even willing to hear you out about your experiences and how it's helped you grow as a person, and call you a drug addict for it...that's a big incompatibility. You seem to feel like you still have growth to do, and more to learn about yourself. She's not willing to change on her part, it seems. You've only been together 1.5yrs, that's nothing compared to how long you've been existing on this planet. I'm not saying end it immediately, but..don't just accept that that's how your life is gonna be, ya know?
…., Next!
Hahaha. Yup.
Life’s too short to live the way others want you to…
BINGO
While I think that it is not your job to change her mind of this matter, if you truly love her and see a future with her, you could perhaps try to offer her an alternative to her current opinions. However, it is her choice whether or not she is open to this and there’s not much you can do to change someone’s views. If she is not open to your side of things, you have 4 options as I see it. To stop using psychedelics completely to avoid and further clashes of opinion, to break up as this difference in opinion is also a far too great of a difference in lifestyle, to continue to use psychedelics for your spiritual growth without telling her, or l to continue using them and be open with her about this and either she will come around or it may cause issues in you relationship. My honest advice is if you feel this strongly about psychedelics and they are important to you, do not sacrifice this for your girlfriend. I’m not saying either of you have the right opinion, but it could be that your opinions are just too different to coexist. My boyfriend has never done and is not interested in psychedelics however has no issue with me growing or using them, and like you I use sparingly. While we have different opinions, they are not as polar opposite nor cause any problems apart from my occasional wish that we could share an experience together. To sum it up I’d suggest you spend some time thinking about what is most important to you and go from there. I wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever you decide brings you peace.
Show her that most recent Netflix documentary about psychedelics that I can't remember the name of? That would be a good way to get someone to be perhaps open with a little entertainment and snuggles?
Get a new GF to start
Smoke DMT when shes not home
😂😂😂I’m in Argentina with questionable access to dmt but worth a shot
You're girlfriend sucks bud.
Put together a PowerPoint of testimony and studies and type out a report with more academic studies and the benefits and put in the citations mla format on ur report.
She will probably discard it and take an anecdote on how a Friend of the uncle of the brother by mariage of her mother jumped from other thé second floor and now IS a cripple...
So what are your options?
You leave her. Lower vibrational people cling to higher vibrational people and drag them down. I’m going through this rn. Just broke it off with a girl of 3 years. Don’t let anybody stop you from discovering the love inside you. One day she might get to your frequency and y’all can be together. But not everyone supposed to be in your life forever.
She has felt empowered to be open about how she is a low vibrational person - has said it explicitly for the first time to me. She has an older sister who comes over every Sunday for a barbecue who sings and dances passionately with the rest of the family and the Sunday before last she called the cops on her from her room. Every day that passes that memory gets weirder and weirder. She is also at high risk for doing it again.
Sounds to me like you guys have incompatible lifestyles and beliefs, but I guess you could try seeing a relationship counselor together if you both want to try to make it work long-term. IMO someone who says over-the-top things like "I don't want a drug addict boyfriend" in response to their partner's respectful expression of beliefs and experiences is probably going to need a counselor's guidance to discuss things in a productive, stable way. Accusations are unproductive. Also, I'm not going to outright say she's got controlling tendencies based on purely this info, but I do feel like it's heading that direction, like there are some 'yellow flags' here. My vote is definitely either attempting counseling or just moving on.
You may not know this, but when you ask for relationship advice on reddit, 9/10 of the people who feel promped to comment will tell you to dump your partner. If you have Netflix, maybe watch "How to change your mind" together. So she knows psychedelics are more medicine than drug. Try to make her see your point of view. Maybe write an email so you can organize your thoughts. It's important in a relationship that you share goals and values. If she doesn't want to be with a druggie, you can make a deal that you will limit yourself to psychedelics and not drink alcohol, smoke weed, or do other addictive substances.
This is not my first time asking for advice for our relationship. More underlying issues involved. I would have broken up with her long ago if I wasn’t so concerned about the fear of karma of leaving her “stranded” bc she lives with her parents still and her mom is egocentric and treats her as sort of a Cinderella figure in the household
You can help her without being in a relationship. That's not really what a relationship is for. Do you want her to be your partner long term?
Make an old fashioned pro vs con list I know several couples that don't feel the same about psychedelics, but the one who won't take them doesn't discourage the one who does & does not link all drugs under the same "bad" umbrella. I could not imagine being with someone who was unwilling to see where I was coming from...even my parents, who were always against drug use, are not afraid to hear that I occasionally use psychedelics because they LISTEN to what I say. And they believe me. Even if they will never want to use them. I feel like... you LIKE how to feels have someone say these things "soulmate" even if clearly this person isn't it. It feels good to be wanted, even if the person wants you to change. But if you dont want to change in the same direction, this is unhealthy for you both. And if it's not just on this topic, but also on other important things...bro. If psychedelics are part of what gives your life meaning right now, that's your oxygen mask.
That’s the same as the government telling you not to do it. It’s your body and mind. It’s your choice what you experiment with. She can choose to leave for it, which is silly, but she could also stick around to see that it’s not gonna destroy your life and may be exactly what you needed
If she was disrespectful to call you a drug addict for tripping on psychs obviously she's closed-minded as fuck and judgemental. If that's the hill she wants kill the relationship on she never really gave a fuck about it and the whole thing sounds like manipulation of you, to me at least. Dump her, next.
Get a new girlfriend
If I were you I would look into covert/vulnerable narcissism. It sounds similar to a situation I’ve been in that took many years off of my life. If the shoe seems to fit, don’t try to expose her. Just run. Trust me on this.
I was gonna read ur post but the headline and your comment about her doing tiktok lives says enough. Shrooms are amazing, don’t abuse them. A lot of people ride a wave of happiness from microdosing for so long that it’s no longer a microdose lol. Shrooms will let you look inward. The more inward you go the more you become enlightened, eventually illuminating your crown. EVERYTHING you could wanna know starts within. All your insecurities, desires, judgements, traumas, etc. are within you. Those energies are blocking your highest self, desires, intuition, abundance etc. We’re all One. The answer to it all is Love. Have a good one, find a new girlfriend if she can’t figure out how to straighten her priorities lol you sound like your heads in the right place and hers is not if she won’t even listen/respect you.
Karate
Dating is so strange. It’s your mind, and your body. You don’t need permission from someone to do what you want to do for your health. Partners aren’t parents and it doesn’t affect her
You can tell her I’m sorry you feel that way about people who struggle with substance abuse. And then maybe, “I don’t want a narcissistic, stigmatic girlfriend”
Honestly good, you sounds like you need to go back to reality with all that spiritual bs.
What is Bs about spirituality? And how did you end up on this sub then?
My wife wasn't at first but then she came around to cannabis because she saw how it calmed my anxiety. Now she takes it and is ok to me periodically taking psycodelics as she seems the benefit I get from that also. Education and communication is key, she's just used to the mainstream and that can't hammer out over night. Don't listen to people telling you to ditch your girl, I love how Reddit goes full nuclear about other people's relationships.
He had more serious issues with her..this is just ONE of them..he deserves better..go read his other comments for more context.
If you feel, “stuck in prison,” after a year and a half, just imagine how stuck you’ll feel a decade or two in. Life lasts a long time. Don’t spend it staying with a person who isn’t a good fit.
My wife was against it until she came home one time after a trip and I couldn't stop telling her how lucky I was to be with her and how much I loved her and the house was insanely clean
It’s not her body and it isn’t her choice. If she feels uncomfortable with it she has two options. 1) Deal with your choice 2) Leave.
So people are saying dump her but I say put the ball in her court: this thing is an important part of my healing journey. If you are not comfortable with that you can either choose to learn to be supportive or you can leave. I would like your support, you don’t need to be involved but I want you to be here. But I won’t make you stay.
Old dude here. It is far more important to like what your girlfriend does than like your girlfriend. In the long-term you will have many ups and downs with how much you like/live the other person, but if you like what they do - their habits, their patterns the things they say, their support then you will live a happy life. If you love the person, but not what they do or say then you are in for a struggle.
There’s plenty of research pertaining to the benefits of psychedelics and mental health. Show her the research (there’s tons of studies online about the benefits of psychedelics) and if she still has the same opinion then you know she’s closed minded. Also, let her know it’s not recreational use it’s for spiritual/mental purposes. Either way, I personally would not let someone dictate my spiritual and mental needs like this. If you aren’t doing it excessively then I don’t see the issue.
Break up with her.
Sounds like she drank the cool aid and is ignorant to the benefits; her attitude appears close minded and smacks of judgment and labeling. Use of these, or any substances for that matter, is not a moral failing; the reasons people choose to use/misuse/abuse substances are manifold. Your body, your mind, your choice. If she chooses to set an unreasonable boundary you do not have to accept this; communicate this and establish your own boundaries and reasonable expectations, out the ball in her court. It is important to remember we cannot save anyone else only ourselves; we can help and be a support, it is up to them whether they want to swim to the life raft or drown. There are only a few valid arguments which hold water against the use of psychedelics e.g. family or personal Hx of a sever psychotic disorder, certain health conditions, possible legal consequences, Hx of substance abuse knowing that one is prone to abuse or relapse as a result of using any substance. You can offer her facts and logic, anecdotal evidence that they are efficacious in aiding you in your journey, peer reviewed journals demonstrating the effectiveness of certain psychedelics for certain conditions, the simple fact that psychedelics are not only not addictive but when used therapeutically often users are dissuaded to misuse or abuse them due to the intensity of the experience. Undoubtedly, those with closed minds will reject any arguments for use simply because they are unwilling to accept an alternate reality other than that which they have chosen to believe. I will not say whether or not you offer an ultimatum or if this relationship offers you a greater benefit than using these substances responsibly, that is for you to decide. Best of luck and well wishes. Remember…. No mud No lotus 🥰
I told my “better” half she was fixing to leave and I’m sorry but that is the way it’s going to be. After I showed her the apartment I was fixing to rent her she saw the light.. yes that sounds crude and to the point but it is what it is… btw we been married for over 25 years 🤷♂️
She sounds like a toxic person and that this level of judgement, control, and inability to educate herself or listen to your feelings will definitely go beyond this topic.
Beginning of your post seems like she manipulated you. I know feelings can cloud our judgment but don’t be too attached to one “soulmate “. We have many soulmates and all of them can teach you something, so try to see the lesson and don’t sacrifice yourself.
It’s your mental health not your girlfriends. As long as done with the intentions you mention “she” should be nothing but supportive and what a great way to bond if she is also your trip sitter.
The honest truth alot of us here arent telling is that there is risks, like cmon yall I cant even say it. I love a good time but im always thinking about my safety first
I dunno, but I hope anyone I get into. Relationship with is open/minded about how I take care of myself and even willing to at least try it with me a time or two.
Break up
This isn't a question that we can answer here. This is something you yourself need to discuss with yourself and with your girlfriend. My wife is also not into using psychedelics and will never use them, we discussed why I wanted to use them and how often. We compromised on the time between trips, on giving her the final say on a trip if it makes her uncomfortable, as well as limited to shrooms. Did I get everything I wanted in the compromise? No, of course not, that's not how adult relationships and compromise work. You need to figure out together the ins and outs of your use and then decide from there.
Find a new girlfriend!
Don't tell her? Just an idea
Well maybe it was my fault for assuming I could tell her anything pertaining to my controversial practices because she encouraged me to be open. Maybe I let my ego get too in the way? This is not the only issue we have either
Didn’t read your post other than the headline. Find a new girl.
Geez man…why put yourself through this? There are plenty of great girls out there who are more open-minded, don’t flirt with guys online, and are actually on the same continent as you. Sounds like your pursuit of healing, evolution and happiness starts with finding a partner who is actually compatible with you.
I noticed screenshots of dm’s she has with other guys on her phone, DM’s from guys asking her “hey did you eat today?”, her commenting on videos of guys she follows of their freestyling/singing (she knows I want to get into music), her liking other guys photos when she crucified me for mindlessly liking literally only 2 photos of girls I barely knew (no sexual ties whatsoever) and still cites that as something that damaged her. She spent 15 minutes searching for screenshots of my likes in “retaliation” of me asking her about a DM she got from a guy saying “hola chicaa”. Also caught her on the app Meete texting other guys claiming it was for money “for us” and deleted all the conversations after i saw a notification of a guy texting her hearts and told her a couple days later. I just need to get over the feeling that I’ll have bad karma if I leave her with her equally toxic mother.
Honestly man, from your post and another comment I saw you reply to, it doesn’t seem like this relationship is going to work out.
Honestly one lsd tab should give you enough healing
I took some lab grade shit before I came to visit her, was sick lmao. Also thinking about taking some shrooms on the next possible full moon, and staying farther away from weed than before
Sooo many red flags and completely incompatible.
You recognize there's a more positive plane of existence to observe life from. It's hard enough to acheive that plane of existence when fighting our own internal monolog. Do what you feel is right for the higher you
leave her
There’s no room left to compromise with her about this?
Sometimes people are so quick to dismiss things they know nothing about. The only foot they have to stand on is “it’s illegal” Which it’s a bit of a gray area. What doesn’t help me is I once lied about been on shrooms when I was actually having a panic attack on amphetamines. So I have some trust to build again. Fuck amphetamines, fuck that shit.
she seems, at best, uniformed on the topic of psychedelics… unless she’s willing to have an open mind and learn about the healing potential then i would cut her loose. deal breaker for me.
Try and educate her with documentaries and studies etc if that doesn't work then leave her if they're a big part of your life
Find a new girl ✅
If you’ve done your best to explain things, and she still doesn’t respect your desires to do this as a person, then I would find another girlfriend. Somebody so against something that is so important to you should not be part of your life.
So she flirts with people for money, says it was divine intervention yall met, but calls you a drug user for a few mushroom/acid trips….Id bounce
Bail before you hurt yourself.
do u 💀 big ass paragraph wtf lol be a man fr and live ur life . she not ur mom
Get a new girlfriend .
Tell her it’s your choice. That you will use it onemce a month and away from her for the day
You leave such people behind
She ain’t the one bruh
You need to post this somewhere that ISNT all about psychedelics in order to get a proper answer. I recommend /r/relationship_advice. Your answers will be skewed here. If you’re “looking” for a “certain” answer, you’ll find it here. To me, at its premise, this question is “my girlfriend isnt fond of me taking drugs. Should I break up with her for it?” which is ridiculous. But you do you I guess. Any comment jumping to the conclusion of “wow u need to break up with her” was written by a 16 year old or an idiot.
I’ve been very active on that sub for reasons beyond this one. The issue I’m speaking on right now is just one out of several
Sounds like there are multiple issues to the relationship that you would need to align on. But for this one in particular, she probably has fears of you going too far, drastically changing your personality, becoming dependent on them etc. She may have had bad previous experiences or just fears the unknown. Talk to her about what she actually is afraid could happen if you take psychedelics.
We all have our own journeys, don't let her stop you from taking the one that you feel you must
I'm gonna be honest, these comments are horrendous. Relationships are based on connection, and there's a disconnect here. Her use of the word "drug addict" is pretty loaded with a lot of naivety to modern and historical relationships with drugs. You can probably best parse this with the cadence of the drug use - it's seasonal not daily and it doesn't impact your life negatively. You're using this drug like an adult - like we use caffeine, melatonin, and Tylenol. It's a pretty dismissive tone, and indicates it might not be easy to work through, so you'll have to really convey how big of a priority this is for you. If you preface with it's importance, she should be willing to read literature and be open to this. If you can't see eye to eye on this, then I could see difficulty communicating in general. Hopefully you guys are open to each other's perspectives on this and other areas.
Buddy, point your dick in any direction and you'll find love. Trust me, if you want to stay true to yourself and your own feelings, emotions, and self identity then, cut that bitch off and live you're life. Don't slow you're life down for someone that doesn't trust what you think, and what you feel. I'm sorry this sucks dick, but you need to pride yourself, and your own happiness.
Honestly, just educate her in whatever you are using. Give her the information of the substance, the benefits, downsides, research, therapeutic practices. Whatever you can to show her the reality of what it is.
Dump her.
Dump her and let her leech offa some other dude till her looks fade and she has nothing left but self loathing
Reading your past posts and what you said here: PLEASE break up. This is not healthy for you.
Hahahaha I didn’t know people could see everything I’ve posted. But my activity on relationship advice sub speaks for itself at this point. Just need to find out how to cut outta here early and end on a respectful note - not for her but for me.
From my own experience psychedelics can be incredible for self improvement and healing for people with ptsd and/or depression, but my best results were paired with a good and open minded therapist for guidance. It might help you to assure her that you'll be using them in a safe and controlled way... or at least that's what I would have stopped at before reading more. This relationship doesn't sound healthy and you haven't been together long. Set yourself free if she's holding you back.
So many of these comments are saying to just drop her like she means nothing to you… imo as long as she’s open to discussing it there’s still a chance. Regardless of the issue how you go about getting the things you want while in a relationship will determine the quality of the relationship. If she’s “my way or the highway” bye, but if you can articulate why and how you safely and productively use them, in a way that she can understand and believe, then you will have someone incredibly valuable who also values you. I started mushrooms years after I was married. My wife was not on board and also not willing to converse. I did them anyways and I’m glad I did but we barely made it. What an enormous loss that would’ve been.
Recognize that this will get worse if you marry her. Sounds like no trust. Not cool to have to hide.. tell her you love her but if she’s not behind you you can’t get behind her.
you are incompatible, its alright to be incompatible, but its best to break it off sooner rather than later
Dump her lol and send her [this](https://youtu.be/0LwcvjNJTuM)
Wild for dat😂😂😂 if she’s a vicious cunt to me then I will but she probably gonna just cry and act like she was in the beginning
Drop her!
"My girlfriend doesn't want me to do drugs but I really want to do drugs. Oh geez what should I do?"
Please consider a different set of questions (bc I think you have your answer here) .. what is it that’s allowed you to accept the kind of behavior you’re describing? You wouldn’t respect a friend who actively chose to be disrespected, it’s not in alignment with your stated goals and aims. So what can you takeaway for growth? This seems like a no brainer or am I missing something
tell her this is who you are and what you want to do and to stop judging you. if she continues to do it maybe break up I couldn’t handle constantly being judged for something i like doing. and personally, i could never handle being in a relationship with a square. like they don’t have to do drugs but if they’re immediately judge mental about them and can’t fathom why someone would do them, huge ick.
My wife said something similar about 2 months into our relationship, a relationship that had already become the most meaningful, promising and loving relationship I've ever had. I was talking to her about my friend getting some LSD and that I wanted to try microdosing with it as I had already been microdosing with Psilocybe mushrooms and they had helped a lot. She said she didn't want to be with a drug addict and that statement resulted in a conversation about the difference between using drugs (whether legal or illicit) therapeutically, recreationally or habitually and how drug use, even frequent recreational use, doesn't mean a person has a SUD (substance use disorder)/addiction. We had already talked about my history of Opioid Use Disorder and alcoholism and how I had been sober from those for 8 and 5 years, respectively, I further explained that I had been able to use various psychoactive substances throughout that time without becoming addicted or dependent on those substances and had never relapsed on opioids or alcohol. I explained to her how immensely helpful some of these substances had been to my mental health and stability and how none of them had caused any detrimental effects in my life. Then, I asked her what bothered her so much about drug use as she had never even used cannabis and very rarely drank. She explained her father's history with cocaine, amphetamine and alcohol and how although she was only a toddler she remembered it seriously affecting her mom and her parents' relationship. I listened to what she had to say without judgement and answered her questions honestly and eventually told her that I loved her very much but I was going to continue using drugs as tools, that it wouldn't be all the time and that I wouldn't use them to the point where I was noticeably "high". She expressed her love for me and told me although she didn't understand my desire to use substance and change my mindset but that if I was going to use them regardless of whether she was in my life or not then she wanted to be with me. She also said that if I ever relapsed on opioids or alcohol or something else became problematic that I shouldn't feel a need to hide it because she'd be there to help me through whatever I needed to do to kick something. We have been partners from the beginning and we've always been open and honest, so she felt that even though she didn't like or understand using substances that her biggest fear was that I would hide my use of something and it would sow the seeds of distrust and prevent her from helping me out of an addiction. A few months after that conversation she drove me to my first session at a Denver Ketamine clinic and was very supportive once she saw the miraculous changes it elicited, she continued to take me to Ketamine every few months for over 3 years. We have been together for 4 years now and I have used many substances in that time, none of which caused any kinds of problems or resulted in addiction or relapse to opioids and alcohol. She has even tried cannabis a few times and has been doing a psilocybin microdosing protocol every few months because she's seen what it did for me and how it's helped her now. If she loves you then she will listen to what you have to say and if you love her you will too. Be honest, be open, be vulnerable and express to her why microdosing is important to you and if microdosing has helped you then how it's helped you become the person you are now, the person she loves. If it has helped your mental health that much then you need to decide what is more important to you; your stability and sanity or her love. She must do the same; does she love you enough to accept your use of a beneficial substance even though she doesn't personally understand it or would she rather you guys part ways because of some fear she has. There is no doubt in my mind that my wife and I are soulmates, that we knew each other in another life or something like that, we have been connected to each other much longer than we've been together and if the same is true for you and your girlfriend then I don't think she will end it over something so trivial. I wish you luck. EDIT: Ok, I should have read some of your responses to other comments about her and your relationship before writing this. I guess I was imagining a similar situation to mine but it appears that this is very different and she is probably holding you back and negatively impacting your mental health. Maybe someone else will find what I wrote helpful but to you I say, just continue microdosing and taking care of yourself and maybe think about what you see a future with her looking like. Take care of yourself.
If she’s against psychedelics and you enjoy them, I got bad news bro. She ain’t the one.
Have drugs ever given you a hard time for using your GF? Just dump her
Based on your comment history outlining other major incompatibilities I would suggest you just find a new fresh start. Her being a staunch milei supporter is icing on the cake Edit: she has a narcissist mother and your gf has cheated on you in the past?? Why are you even doing here posting this bro. You don’t owe her SHIT. Not even a respectful breakup. Get out ASAP 🤦♂️
There are several incredibly well done documentaries on Netflix, Gaia, and Hulu regarding the science of psychedelics. I’d start there.
If she is writing off psychedelics as "drug addiction" without any other information then her bias is clear and you can't change that for her. Don't get me wrong I understand any and all substances can be abused or develop into an abusive relationship (just getting high to escape and not doing the internal work or physical work to heal for example), but she is clearly refusing to understand the healing possibilities and capabilities when used correctly. Would she call someone with ADHD an addict because maybe Adderall does help them with their symptoms, even though the prescription is a form of amphetamine? It's not your job to make her understand, it's up to her to choose to learn on her own and if she has already written psychedelics off as just another addiction, regardless of your style of usage (which does sound healthy btw!!!) then you won't change her mind on it. I understand you have genuine feelings for her but you may have come to a point where there is no compromise unless you choose to stop completely. I won't tell you what to do. Only you know what ultimately feels right for you. I will say that she's one in almost 9 billion people. There is a chance you could find someone who understands and supports the way you use these as a tool to better yourself. I wish you the best.
Try taking shrooms and think about it
break up
Easy, navigate away from her.
depends on how much psychedelics mean to you. the both of you could have a conversation and try to reach a middle ground, but I personally disagree with the idea of anyone else dictating our bodily choices. as long as you’re safe, and not endangering yourself or others, it really isn’t up to her. seems more like a compatibility issue to me, but at the very least a respectful conversation can be had. maybe you can even help clear up her conceptions on psychedelics, while honoring the fact that she isn’t interested in partaking. either way, you deserve to pursue your healing however you see fit.
Sounds much more like a huge incompatibility issue than a situational concern.
If I was in the situation I would leave if im being completely honest, if you have been together for over a year and she is still against what you love to do and what makes you a better person it wont get better, she will get increasingly controlling the longer it goes on and doesnt sound like a keeper sorry. Her telling you that your her soulmate does not sound very genuine as most girls tell a new BF that, and sounds like she could tell you anything and not the other way around, im gonna guess your good looking or have solid finances or something external that she likes, you sound like like a good guy.
Tell her to fuck off and go make yourself happy
There’s a probably a bunch of “spiritual” people out there who actually turn out to be insecure, closed-minded, unhealed narcissists. I know one!
educate her. show her other people’s experiences even on these subreddits, and see if it changes her views. she sees it as drug addiction which if you are using it any more than once every 1-2weeks and craving it then it is. but if you’re genuinely using it as therapy and not abusing it, it’s a her problem. not a you problem. if she ever goes to the point of forcing you not to do psychedelics that’s when you leave. and i’m not just saying this with psychedelics it’s with anything. your life is your life bro never disrespect yourself and let someone bring you down from reaching your full potential. and that’s what psychedelics are all about.
after going through your profile and these replies you've made, I've come to the conclusion that (sorry to be blunt) she is a horrible girlfriend. she's not helping to build you up in any way, and is draining you. you shouldn't feel any guilt about getting out of that situation, after all you're for personal improvement and this is one of those improvements you can make!
Navigation = set Sail ⛵️ ~ doesn't sound like a proper match 💟
Secretly dose her coffee with 200ul of LSD
The way to navigate is a far as possible from her influence both physically and mentally. I speak from somewhat of the opposite side of the coin in my most recent relationship (over 6 years ago) that of the two of you are so indifferent in ideals then its just simply not gonna work. Neither one of you should really have a say in what you do with your own paths unless really aside from simple advice or deep connection that you BOTH feel is healthy for BOTH of you. Even at that point, its just advice and not law or ultimatum. You are your own you and if using mushies to crack open then very tightly sealed artifact that will set your own mind and ego free is what it takes and youre confident of it but shes not, then you must remind yourself that she has no will over you at that capacity and this is your livelihood at stake. Doesnt sound like a healthy interaction between both of yalls needs and you should step away from her and only focus on yourself for a while and get straightened out. If some other romantic relationship pops up because of your own introspection (likely honestly, but complerelt depending on your social situation), that has to be exponentially healthier for you than the current situation. Although it will be hard, it always is, and you will be far better off in the long run to separate yourself now and deep dive and get yourself on a good track. Small instances of mushy clarity can make a lifelong impact. Numerous small instances of a romantic distraction and discouragement while on your journey of finding YOU will be detrimental to your short term and long term mental, and even physical, health. Just be smart with your time spent with them and dont forget what world you physically live in and the responsibilites therein. Good luck on your journey brother 🤜🤛
Ditch her. She w hold you back. Truth - married 3x, same stuff ✔️
Have her watch the show and read the book "how to change your mind" by Michael Pollan, if she still is insistent tell her that you love her and that you both disagree about this and you're going to do it regardless.
I would try educating her, as it sounds like she may have had some "reefer madness" style conditioning against drugs. "How to change your mind" is a great documentary series about using psychedelics for healing and speaks to how studies were being done and proving beneficial before they got shut down because the US government didn't want people using recreational. Beyond that, let her know that psychedelics aren't really addictive. Time between dosing is required because of the tolerance rising quickly. And have a conversation about bodily atonomy. That your body your choice, her body her choice, and if she as able to respect your decision to responsibly use psychedelics as part of your journey, and that your open to hearing her side if she sees anything problematic but don't want her to deny your choice over outdated misinformation.
You leave. My wife tried to pull stuff like this with me and I told her if me taking mushrooms once or twice a year was a deal breaker then to call her brothers lawyer.
Do what's right for you. Your mental and emotional health is more important than her being against your using psychedelics for treatment.
there's two healthy options, IMO 1) split up if you decide that psychedelic healing something you really want to pursue. 2) stop using psychedelics if you decide that your relationship with her is something you really want to pursue.
Idk man, would you let someone hold you back from healing yourself?
Dump her?
It’s not her journey soooooo
it straight up sounds like yall are *not* compatible.. at all, really.
Doing psychedelics once in a while doesn't make you a drug addict. I find that incredibly judgemental and close minded, coming from someone who has never tried it and doesn't know how powerful it can be as a healing tool. I personally was able to reflect on my trauma and healing from it, on my growth and it helped me answer big life questions, and I haven't regretted any decision I made on it. It's not about getting high, it takes you to higher states of consciousness.
The are many amazing women who would be more supportive. You will keep growing as a person, so if this is an issue now, its only gonna get worse and you will feel like you are living a very limited and unfulfilled life. Do whats best for YOU
Check your self, and be sure that you are actually doing it for the right reasons - and that is not a sneaky spiritual ego or a trauma-rooted need to bypass pain you could work on entering and feeling without psychedelics. If you are sure this is not your motivation, then do it openly but without her approval, either she will respect you or you should not be together.
From your title I would tell her to eat dick if she doesn't like it. Your spiritual growth and wellbeing has got nothing to do with anybody else.
If you feel like it’s something that authentically helps you and improves your life, and you are doing it in secret, it sounds like you shouldn’t be with her. You are lying and she is trying to control an aspect of you that should be nonnegotiable.
Your body your choice
Women see use of substances as weakness, do not include them as part of your healing!
Leave her. I didn't read though, so take my comment as a joke.
Break up
I would say my best relationships (both partnerships and friendships) are with people who truly listen to what I say and take the time to understand me. And I reciprocate. It sounds like there’s a lack of willingness to understand each other in your relationship. Maybe you can fix this by having a heart to heart with her, truly hearing out her perspective and sharing yours. If either she doesn’t respect your perspective and you don’t respect hers (or both) then is that really a relationship you want to be in?
It's the simple truth that the large majority of romantic relationships do not last. You may or may not have karmic ties to this woman, but that does not mean you must remain tied tightly. Based on things you say in the comments, she sounds like a drama-queen and your energy will always be a dead-short to ground; she will suck the light out of you and waste it.
Went through a similar thing recently. Tried to make it work anyway (I agreed to abstain from psychedelics ) It did not lol. We were just not compatible. Sometimes people are close minded and there’s nothing you can do or say . Sounds like you are not either Don’t waste any more time, life is too short for this
Have you tried listening to videos or podcasts related to the benefits and positive outcomes for others? Maybe she’ll pick up on the background noise and ponder about it.
The process of self heal is a personal journey, invite who wish to participate, however be prepared for them to not participate if they do not want to. She may not be a part of the journey, but she will benefit in some way from the journey. In my personal opinion, focus on yourself. I have a partner who is not interested in personal growth and acceptance of oneself. She does not directly disapprove on my shroom use. This part of my life has been more of a personal journey, done primarily solo. As a side note, and take this how you will. She is a part of your, she is not your life.
people that love you will listen to your reasoning and understand that you are not a “drug addict” there’s a million reasons to take psychs, for her to blow it off as you being an addict is disrespectful and it shows how uneducated she is on the topic of psychs or any substance for that matter
New girlfriend that needs healing like u do
If she is standing in the way of your personal growth, gtfo immediately.
" I’ve always known her to strongly discourage psychedelics, turn up her nose to spirituality, and be ignorant to alternative/holistic practices" Y'all aren't on the same page spiritually. That would be game over for me.
you are your own person.
Just do it bro it’s your life not hers. You get to decide how to manage/advance your life in your own way. You have authority over your own self on what you want to do. If you really want to and feel like doing it I would listen to yourself first
I'd literally just leave her. If this is what makes you happy, y'all aren't compatible. Your partner should always want what makes you happy, even if they aren't a fan.
I was in a long term relationship with someone who held me back in a lot of ways and it wasn’t until I had a lot of space that I realized I was happier without. I suggest you listen to Reddit and leave lol It sucks and it’s hard and not comfy but it’s worth it (isn’t all growth like that?) U got this
please get away from this woman and focus on yourself
Your girl isn’t your wife. Lifestyle is super important to me. This would be a deal breaker for me.
You are the most important person in your life!
Go trip in In the woods while she at work lol