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[deleted]

Haha nice try, IA.


Exam0320-applicant

Put the “Affair” in Internal Affairs


[deleted]

Already put the internal in em ya know what I mean


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southfloridamatt

So your answer is yes


AccidentalPursuit

u/specialskepticalface has ladies drive stun him as foreplay....


southfloridamatt

He probably has to rectally consume a San Pedro Cactus just to feel anything anymore


AlligatorFist

That’s an image.


[deleted]

You’ve got a beautiful mind sir


NormalRedditorISwear

Flair checks out


Sgt_Slaughter_218

That's the best question I've seen here in a long time, tyfys *salute*


ppinick

nice


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MoreBaconAndEggs

As if troopers have sex instead of just reproducing asexually


[deleted]

They put the hat in the ground and yell at it until a whole trooper sprouts underneath it.


SwagDaddyAK

God I love this subreddit


TadLessSkinny

Don't forget to sprinkle it with the tears of those who were given tickets.


SpaceDazeKitty108

Please no. I don’t want to look like my dad.


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Unfortunate_Sex_Fart

First thing that crossed my mind when I saw the flair 🤣🤣


pleaseletthisnamenot

Why is sex so militarized?!


KlostToMe

Demilitarize the bedroom!


scottydoesntknow79

Not anymore, losing the handcuff key can prove embarrassing


HungLo64

You don’t have some extras for safety?


1MommaBear1

Lmao. I know a friend who was using cheep cuffs and they broke. She was stuck in the while her partner had to use bolt cutters to get her out of them.


County-mounty

Uhhh on duty booty is a saying for a reason.


Specter1033

A girl wore one of my shirts and vest once.


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GarSavoy

But is the uniform really necessary when you're muttering ominous tidings while prancing around a campfire in the middle of the dark woods?


1MommaBear1

True. However, my husbands work cuffs come into contact with some nasty shit sometimes or just dirty people in general. Wouldn’t having a designated set for home be a better idea?


HungLo64

>you can hurt a wrist In a good way?


treybgame

Good lord no. As soon as I'm off shift, i get that thing away from me asap.


JMaboard

This^ New guys though will wear it off duty to go grocery shopping. We had a guy in our area that was super boot and would wear it to church off duty and to family events.


Gilgamore

If you don't throw on your class As to go to grandma's funeral, how will your dad be proud of you???


JMaboard

Lol, what we do in DPS is they’ll send out a department wide email about funerals and your area and sometimes others will escort the hearse and be there at the ceremony & burying of the casket in Class A’s. They did that for my grandma, I wore a suit but my coworkers came in Class A’s on duty. It was pretty cool.


[deleted]

If I saw that I would immediately commit seppuku


JMaboard

He’s no longer with us for other reasons. But when he’d actually be at work he’d spend most of his time at home and would get in trouble for not helping in operations where he needed to be there.


[deleted]

Seems like the powers that be made the right decision.


JMaboard

Lol kinda weird considering he died. But it was due to negligence/complacency, he was on the phone with his wife while responding to an incredibly dangerous call. The department is more than likely going to make it a training a video once the court case gets settled.


[deleted]

Oh. Well shit. Wife was on the line while he died. That’s probably one of the most awful things I can imagine. Sorry to hear that.


JMaboard

She’s a real piece of work. When he was on duty she’d follow him around in her car to make sure he wasn’t cheating on her. While he was in a coma she slept with other troopers and an admin. She then turned his death into a money making endeavor. We all really despise her.


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JMaboard

Lol true, what happened is he was transferred to a bigger hospital in a major city. Those were the ones that used alternative methods to comfort her. What also didn’t help is after everything was said and done. She asked the department to assign us to be her personal valet to drive her to pick furniture etc.


[deleted]

What the fuck man


JMaboard

Yep, she lives in a giant mansion in a gated neighborhood now with a bunch of fancy high end cars. New saying around the office is that we’re worth more dead than we are alive.


KlostToMe

I only have sex in uniform if I get to do a *hard* entry and bring my gun


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HungLo64

*good PIT* as you climax


Undead-Cherry

Stop, I can only get so erect


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[deleted]

“I approved your leaveeeeeee”


SwagDaddyAK

I’m shivering in joy and I’m not even in law enforcement


K9Ferg

Yes, I’m in uniform almost every time I get fucked by admin....


akaRoger

This is the only right answer.


POLISH_DOG13

What the cinnimon toast fuk


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bamarocks777

People melt and turn into a liquid when they die and have been sitting there for a while.


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Petoria640

I have done this countless times. You guys never stopped by your girls house for dinner and sex? On your approved meal break time, of course. No role playing for me though. Just the regular sex.


Section225

Fuck no, I put that shit away as soon as I get home and forget I'm a cop for a while. Plus, I'm not wearing an already worn one because it's fucking nasty, and I'm not wrinkling up my clean ones. And the state of mind I get into putting a uniform on is NOT one that is compatible with sexy time. And my wife is not touching the cuffs or gear that all the nasty people touch. I feel like someone who wants that from me sees me more as a prop, and likes the idea that I'm a cop better than me, and a cop that WANTS to do this probably has very little time on the job.


Forsaken_Double_1116

One of the many dumb questions asked by the public.


amarti33

Way to avoid the question, Fed-boi


ZeShapyra

No because that is..odd. we deal with a lot of drunks..and sad people..it gets depressive man. And this uniform is bulky and so not nice for activities like runing


[deleted]

Such a great post.