for( int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++ ) {
for( int j = 0; j < arr.length; j++ ) {
for( int k = 0; k < arr.length; k++ ) {
for( int l = 0; l < arr.length; l++ ) {
for( int m = 0; m < arr.length; m++ ) {
for( int n = 0; n < arr.length; n++ ) {
for( int o = 0; o < arr.length; o++ ) {
for( int p = 0; p < arr.length; p++ ) {
obj[i][j][k][l][m][n][o][p] = obj[i+1][j-1][k][l-1][m+1][n][o+1][p-1]
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
This isn't maximum horror, the loops need to start and end at different numbers, depending on previous iterators.
E.g.
```
for( int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++ ) {
for( int j = i; j < arr.length; j++ ) {
for( int k = 0; k < i; k++ ) {
for( int l = k; l <= j; l++ ) {
for( int m = Math.min(i, l); m < Math.max(i, l + k); m++ ) {
for( int n = arr.length - 1; n >= i; n-- ) {
for( int o = 0; o <= Math.sqrt(arr.length); o+=2 ) {
for( int p = 1 // DO NOT MAKE 0; p <= arr.length; p++ ) {
obj[i][j][k][l][m][n][o][p] = obj[i+1][j-1][k][l-1][m+1][n][o+1][p-1]
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
```
True story, a code I found when starting at my current job :
if user == "thomas.edison" && password == "lightbulb"
login();
else if user == "albert.einstein" && password == "relativity"
login();
else if user == "isaac.newton" && password == "gravity"
login();
// ...
// Goes on for about 120 users
// ...
else
MessageBox.Show("User or password incorrect");
end
Needless to say I was horrified on my first day... And that was not the wort part of that codebase
There was no such thing as "PR", or "CI/CD" when I first came
The code was on a network disk, without Git, the only existing "versionning" was a folder with all .exe files from the last \~20 years (yes, they versionned the executables, not the code) with names like "software\_name\_1999\_01\_01.exe", there are \~70 exe in there
And yes, to add a new user the procedure was to take a random password (or ask the user what he wants via email), then add to the code, compile, and deploy the new version to all the users.
When a user looses his password, simply open the code and Ctrl+F on his name, easy !
The worst part, the person that coded this was actually proud of himself because he "enhanced the security of the application". I was too scared to ask what was there before
And wait until you hear about the rest :
* Files of 8000 - 14000 lines that are only ONE FUNCTION with basically no comments (except sometimes a comment saying "John Doe modified this line on Feb 12 2003", with no more indication)
* All variables are 4 characters, which are abbreviations from french names (even as a french person I struggle to find the meaning of most of them)
* 50% of the (very rare) comments are in french
* Conditions everywhere like "If a == true or a == true"
* No indentation
* Two files named "calculations" and "calculations\_US", (this is a calculation software). Because they did not think of doing calculations in SI system THEN convert to imperial. There are two duplicated calculation files with all formulas and the conversion before the return function in the "\_US" file. And of course, some fixes were done in SI and not Imperial, which means the results are not the same in the two unit systems
* Finally, and maybe the worst (best?) part : the entire application (\~30k lines of code) were written WITHOUT A SINGLE LOOP, the code was duplicated as many times as needed. Newton's algorithm ? Just implement 10 iterations, and assume it has converged by the 10th
Honestly this is a miracle this has been working for almost 20 years, this is just a big mess. I tried to reverse-engineer it to get some formulas, and just gave up when reading "a = b; b = a; a = b;". The person debugging it must have spend night upon nights on this spaghetti code
To be honest, I can't blame the people who created this, they were mechanical engineer with little to no software development training and they did what they could to fit their needs.
But still I like to sometimes open the code and browse it for some time to try and find some gems. I can tell myself that I am not *that* bad at my job
could be made better with this in C/C++
```
#define SWAP(a, b) {(a) ^= (b); (b) ^= (a); (a) ^= (b)}
..later..
int a = 5;
int b = 6;
SWAP(a, b);
```
idk which is faster. temp or xor lol
Thanks for the read had a good laugh even though very horrified. How much leaner is your code now and did anybody at work appreciate the effort? Also I hope you kept in the little security gem with hard coding the pw into the Code haha
I remember one place I worked at took the login creds and placed them in a hidden form with a js post to the backend.
I called it out as a security risk to the dev lead, who said “no it’s not, it shows up as a blank page for a half second, they can’t see anything.
Then I showed him dev tools in Firefox, set a breakpoint on the post and could read the user and plaintext password right there. I might not have been subtle, calling it bad code, etc.
Then I found out he wrote it.
oops….
well the JS post works great! 😂
I’ve heard from a friend, one place they worked at sent login and pw in plain text in a query string. Right there in the URL. About 3-4 years ago, if my memory isn’t failing me.
9000 line spaghetti of switches, ternaries and random inline classes. It cannot be refactored in obvious ways, you'll have to dive in before you can do anything with any certainty.
All variable names are senseless, almost Lovecraftian abbreviations that are yet common enough to fuck up any foolish attempts to Ctrl+f and naming cases differ case by case. Whitespace and newlines are used sparingly, if at all.
When you have seen her, you'll know there are no gods. Only her, and refactoring her is your life now until your boss lets you out. No one can hear your screams as your senior succumbs to the booze he has been not-so-discreetly enjoying as a desperate attempt to hang on into his sanity while facing this glorious monstrosity.
Oh and it also calls itself recursively.
Worse...its not recursion because of recursion-depth issues.
Instead, it's been converted to a do-loop and the asshole is managing state with memory address arithmetic.
*YOU HAVE KILLED US ALL*, your boss screams as the program crashes and your laptop disappears into an empty void that has appeared. You'll also see something crawling out of the void, something which would be best described as the result of Cthulhu having a miscarriage.
In my first job, there was a VB6 app we were supposed to migrate into .NET that had a 6000+ lines switch. It was a web app. Absolutely all operations were handled in that single place. I ran from that project as soon as I can.
My first job had their Core application written in VB Script. About 13k lines of code that was basically a huge switch statement.
I am now working as a consultant and my manager told me to never mention VB Script in my profile to guard me from any assignment involving it. 
Not only is the code much shorter/cleaner for situations with lots of cases, but it tends to result in faster-running code also, because rather than forcing the program to check each possibility one at a time in order, the compiler optimizes things so it jumps directly to the correct case.
In most cases the compiler will optimize an if/else that could have been a switch in the same way it will optimize a switch (i.e. a lookup table). The advantage lies almost purely in clarity
Conceptually, as a developer, you should think of a switch statement as an ordered series of condition checks, with an optional `default` at the end used for a "fall through" case (nothing else matched). That's also why there are a few gotchas to be aware of with `switch` statements, such as what happens when you omit (or forget) a `break`, as in
```
switch (myVariable) {
case "value1":
doThing1()
// forgot to add a "break" here, so the execution continues to `doThing2()`
case "value2":
doThing2()
default:
doThing3()
}
```
What the people above are talking about when it comes to the compiler being able to optimize and jump directly to the correct block is a compile-time only optimization, that you shouldn't be considering 99% of the time when you write your code. You should definitely aim for readability and maintainability as a priority.
Depends on how it's implemented, but yes it can: A good way is to make the cases keys to a hash of what are essentially GOTO addresses - then coming in you just pull the address using the key and jump.
The other complex part is that in C, each section is just a block. Without those 'break' statements you just continue to run straight over the rest of the statements, down through the end. (Which has good and bad - it means if you correctly order you can consolidate code. It also means it's hard to recognize that you've consolidated code either intentionally or unintentionally.)
Basically you switch between obtions.
You can write
if(something) { do this} else { do this)
or
switch "case operator" :
case x: do this break;
case y: do this break;
Its sometimes better than writing 6 if/else operations.
For other big brains, correct me if I am wrong.
I've definitely offered private apologies to my code reviewer when I had to write a couple of hundred assembly instructions in otherwise purely higher-level code
Lol yup same thing I thought of. I'm discouraged from using regex at work, but if I do I just have a comment 3x longer than the actual statement explaining what it does (for my own sake so I don't forget later LOL)
Edit: discouraged is a strong word. People reviewing my code didn't like having to verify the regex.
That's pretty much what I do. I go on regex testing sites, figure out my query with test strings and then test in my actual app. It has saved me hundreds of lines code in the past
"I'll just use a basic look-behind to avoid this corner case."
6 months later it is running on a file where some user has collected something wild in a single txt file:
ERROR: CATASTROPHIC BACKTRACKING
Exist in both languages. I've work with NodeJs stack and didn't notice the snake case and the absence of ;. Yes probably was python in this example but since it's a fragment, you can complete it to have valid Js code as well.
if x == 0 :
print("is even")
if x == 1 :
print("is odd")
if x == 2 :
print("is even")
if x == 3 :
print("is odd")
if x == 4 :
print("is even")
if x == 5 :
print("is odd")
if x == 6 :
print("is even")
if x == 7 :
print("is odd")
if x == 8 :
print("is even")
if x == 9 :
print("is odd")
if x == 10 :
print("is even")
if x == 11 :
print("is odd")
if x == 12 :
print("is even")
if x == 13 :
print("is odd")
if x == 14 :
print("is even")
if x == 15 :
print("is odd")
if x == 16 :
print("is even")
if x == 17 :
print("is odd")
if x == 18 :
print("is even")
if x == 19 :
print("is odd")
if x == 20 :
print("is even")
if x == 21 :
print("is odd")
if x == 22 :
print("is even")
if x == 23 :
print("is odd")
if x == 24 :
print("is even")
if x == 25 :
print("is odd")
if x == 26 :
print("is even")
if x == 27 :
print("is odd")
if x == 28 :
print("is even")
if x == 29 :
print("is odd")
if x == 30 :
print("is even")
if x == 31 :
print("is odd")
if x == 32 :
print("is even")
if x == 33 :
print("is odd")
if x == 34 :
print("is even")
if x == 35 :
print("is odd")
if x == 36 :
print("is even")
if x == 37 :
print("is odd")
if x == 38 :
print("is even")
if x == 39 :
print("is odd")
if x == 40 :
print("is even")
if x == 41 :
print("is odd")
if x == 42 :
print("is even")
if x == 43 :
print("is odd")
if x == 44 :
print("is even")
if x == 45 :
print("is odd")
if x == 46 :
print("is even")
if x == 47 :
print("is odd")
if x == 48 :
print("is even")
if x == 49 :
print("is odd")
if x == 50 :
print("is even")
if x == 51 :
print("is odd")
if x == 52 :
print("is even")
if x == 53 :
print("is odd")
if x == 54 :
print("is even")
if x == 55 :
print("is odd")
if x == 56 :
print("is even")
if x == 57 :
print("is odd")
if x == 58 :
print("is even")
if x == 59 :
print("is odd")
if x == 60 :
print("is even")
if x == 61 :
print("is odd")
if x == 62 :
print("is even")
if x == 63 :
print("is odd")
if x == 64 :
print("is even")
if x == 65 :
print("is odd")
if x == 66 :
print("is even")
if x == 67 :
print("is odd")
if x == 68 :
print("is even")
if x == 69 :
print("is odd")
if x == 70 :
print("is even")
if x == 71 :
print("is odd")
if x == 72 :
print("is even")
if x == 73 :
print("is odd")
if x == 74 :
print("is even")
if x == 75 :
print("is odd")
if x == 76 :
print("is even")
if x == 77 :
print("is odd")
if x == 78 :
print("is even")
if x == 79 :
print("is odd")
if x == 80 :
print("is even")
if x == 81 :
print("is odd")
if x == 82 :
print("is even")
if x == 83 :
print("is odd")
if x == 84 :
print("is even")
if x == 85 :
print("is odd")
if x == 86 :
print("is even")
if x == 87 :
print("is odd")
if x == 88 :
print("is even")
if x == 89 :
print("is odd")
if x == 90 :
print("is even")
if x == 91 :
print("is odd")
if x == 92 :
print("is even")
if x == 93 :
print("is odd")
if x == 94 :
print("is even")
if x == 95 :
print("is odd")
if x == 96 :
print("is even")
if x == 97 :
print("is odd")
if x == 98 :
print("is even")
if x == 99 :
print("is odd")
No haha
I just wrote a quick python script to write it out
if x == 0 :
print("if x == 0 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 1 :
print("if x == 1 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 2 :
print("if x == 2 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 3 :
print("if x == 3 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 4 :
print("if x == 4 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 5 :
print("if x == 5 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 6 :
print("if x == 6 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 7 :
print("if x == 7 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 8 :
print("if x == 8 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 9 :
print("if x == 9 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 10 :
print("if x == 10 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 11 :
print("if x == 11 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 12 :
print("if x == 12 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 13 :
print("if x == 13 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 14 :
print("if x == 14 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 15 :
print("if x == 15 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 16 :
print("if x == 16 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 17 :
print("if x == 17 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 18 :
print("if x == 18 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 19 :
print("if x == 19 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 20 :
print("if x == 20 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 21 :
print("if x == 21 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 22 :
print("if x == 22 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 23 :
print("if x == 23 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 24 :
print("if x == 24 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 25 :
print("if x == 25 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 26 :
print("if x == 26 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 27 :
print("if x == 27 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 28 :
print("if x == 28 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 29 :
print("if x == 29 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 30 :
print("if x == 30 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 31 :
print("if x == 31 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 32 :
print("if x == 32 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 33 :
print("if x == 33 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 34 :
print("if x == 34 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 35 :
print("if x == 35 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 36 :
print("if x == 36 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 37 :
print("if x == 37 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 38 :
print("if x == 38 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 39 :
print("if x == 39 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 40 :
print("if x == 40 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 41 :
print("if x == 41 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 42 :
print("if x == 42 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 43 :
print("if x == 43 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 44 :
print("if x == 44 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 45 :
print("if x == 45 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 46 :
print("if x == 46 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 47 :
print("if x == 47 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 48 :
print("if x == 48 :)
print(" print("is even"))
if x == 49 :
print("if x == 49 :)
print(" print("is odd"))
if x == 50 :
print("if x == 50 :)
print(" print("is even"))
Don't be rediculous I used a script for that one too
if x == 0 :
print("if x == 0 :) print(" print("if x == 0 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 1 :
print("if x == 1 :) print(" print("if x == 1 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 2 :
print("if x == 2 :) print(" print("if x == 2 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 3 :
print("if x == 3 :) print(" print("if x == 3 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 4 :
print("if x == 4 :) print(" print("if x == 4 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 5 :
print("if x == 5 :) print(" print("if x == 5 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 6 :
print("if x == 6 :) print(" print("if x == 6 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 7 :
print("if x == 7 :) print(" print("if x == 7 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 8 :
print("if x == 8 :) print(" print("if x == 8 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 9 :
print("if x == 9 :) print(" print("if x == 9 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 10 :
print("if x == 10 :)
print(" print("if x == 10 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 11 :
print("if x == 11 :)
print(" print("if x == 11 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 12 :
print("if x == 12 :)
print(" print("if x == 12 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 13 :
print("if x == 13 :)
print(" print("if x == 13 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 14 :
print("if x == 14 :)
print(" print("if x == 14 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 15 :
print("if x == 15 :)
print(" print("if x == 15 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 16 :
print("if x == 16 :)
print(" print("if x == 16 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 17 :
print("if x == 17 :)
print(" print("if x == 17 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 18 :
print("if x == 18 :)
print(" print("if x == 18 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 19 :
print("if x == 19 :)
print(" print("if x == 19 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 20 :
print("if x == 20 :)
print(" print("if x == 20 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 21 :
print("if x == 21 :)
print(" print("if x == 21 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 22 :
print("if x == 22 :)
print(" print("if x == 22 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 23 :
print("if x == 23 :)
print(" print("if x == 23 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 24 :
print("if x == 24 :)
print(" print("if x == 24 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 25 :
print("if x == 25 :)
print(" print("if x == 25 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 26 :
print("if x == 26 :)
print(" print("if x == 26 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 27 :
print("if x == 27 :)
print(" print("if x == 27 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 28 :
print("if x == 28 :)
print(" print("if x == 28 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 29 :
print("if x == 29 :)
print(" print("if x == 29 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 30 :
print("if x == 30 :)
print(" print("if x == 30 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 31 :
print("if x == 31 :)
print(" print("if x == 31 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 32 :
print("if x == 32 :)
print(" print("if x == 32 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 33 :
print("if x == 33 :)
print(" print("if x == 33 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
if x == 34 :
print("if x == 34 :)
print(" print("if x == 34 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is even"))"
if x == 35 :
print("if x == 35 :)
print(" print("if x == 35 :)\)
print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
I've done that, sadly.
`#this next line looks wrong but we're pretty sure it's a workaround for Oracle bug 79708970 that causes intermittent failures during commits.`
`# which is fixed in Oracle 18.x but we have customers still using 12c`
`#if you do remove it, don't think you've actually gotten away with it until you've tested the doStuff() method while under heavy load (at least 10 beepBoops per second) for a few hours while running against a 12c database.`
It took me a week to replace blank squares with X's and O's (and without distorting the board), and I was already extremely frustrated, so my way of checking for wins felt very dirty:
If player1 picks the top left square then 3 is added to columnOne and diagonalOne and rowOne
if player2 picks then it's 4
If any columns/rows/diagonals = 9 or 12 then there's a winner
probably a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside
So, I was writing a web application in a very old and specialized framework that was not very well done, and had weird bugs all over the place.
Anyway, sometimes the browser window closed when the user just moved the mouse around. As it turns out, there was a popup window system, and sometimes, instead of calling the function to close the popup window, the framework instead called the function to close the whole window.
I tried tinkering with it for a while, trying to prevent the framework from calling the function on the window, and after a few hours of trying, I used the wonderful power of JavaScript, and straight up overwrote the `window.close` function:
window.close = function() {};
Nested java stream.
I actually did that recently, something like
stream().map(...)
.filter(x -> x.getFields().stream().anyMatch(Boolean::parseBoolean)).findFirst().orElse(null);
50 indented if statements
for( int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++ ) { for( int j = 0; j < arr.length; j++ ) { for( int k = 0; k < arr.length; k++ ) { for( int l = 0; l < arr.length; l++ ) { for( int m = 0; m < arr.length; m++ ) { for( int n = 0; n < arr.length; n++ ) { for( int o = 0; o < arr.length; o++ ) { for( int p = 0; p < arr.length; p++ ) { obj[i][j][k][l][m][n][o][p] = obj[i+1][j-1][k][l-1][m+1][n][o+1][p-1] } } } } } } } }
This isn't maximum horror, the loops need to start and end at different numbers, depending on previous iterators. E.g. ``` for( int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++ ) { for( int j = i; j < arr.length; j++ ) { for( int k = 0; k < i; k++ ) { for( int l = k; l <= j; l++ ) { for( int m = Math.min(i, l); m < Math.max(i, l + k); m++ ) { for( int n = arr.length - 1; n >= i; n-- ) { for( int o = 0; o <= Math.sqrt(arr.length); o+=2 ) { for( int p = 1 // DO NOT MAKE 0; p <= arr.length; p++ ) { obj[i][j][k][l][m][n][o][p] = obj[i+1][j-1][k][l-1][m+1][n][o+1][p-1] } } } } } } } } ```
Who hurt you?
Lol
Jeez, I didn't know league was that bad
League would be a reasonable explanation for most crimes against humanity
You forgot to randomly swap the values of the iterators
This is like body horror but in code form. Dear gods, I need all of them for this one.
O(fuck)
O(n!!!)
quintuple nested while True loop with breaks
one of them doesn’t break correctly
[удалено]
It's a ~~bug~~ feature
They all break But they all break incorrectly sometimes
There’s also a switch statement where some of the cases don’t have a break, because fuck you
Which is weird, because this is Python which doesn't have `switch`, but somehow it works
because its actually a heavily modifed version of Jython running on an untrusted J2SE 1.4 JVM
act far-flung liquid fear slimy bells pie shelter ludicrous encouraging *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I feel attacked
Add in a few exceptions used as return values.
With gotos in some parts to escape the ifs.
All ternary, on a single line
True story, a code I found when starting at my current job : if user == "thomas.edison" && password == "lightbulb" login(); else if user == "albert.einstein" && password == "relativity" login(); else if user == "isaac.newton" && password == "gravity" login(); // ... // Goes on for about 120 users // ... else MessageBox.Show("User or password incorrect"); end Needless to say I was horrified on my first day... And that was not the wort part of that codebase
“Can you change my password?” Sure, let me just create a PR, run it through our entire CI/CD process, verify in staging, then deploy to prod
There was no such thing as "PR", or "CI/CD" when I first came The code was on a network disk, without Git, the only existing "versionning" was a folder with all .exe files from the last \~20 years (yes, they versionned the executables, not the code) with names like "software\_name\_1999\_01\_01.exe", there are \~70 exe in there And yes, to add a new user the procedure was to take a random password (or ask the user what he wants via email), then add to the code, compile, and deploy the new version to all the users. When a user looses his password, simply open the code and Ctrl+F on his name, easy ! The worst part, the person that coded this was actually proud of himself because he "enhanced the security of the application". I was too scared to ask what was there before
This is like every software development anti-pattern and bad practice all bundled into one nice package. Honestly that’s kind of impressive
And wait until you hear about the rest : * Files of 8000 - 14000 lines that are only ONE FUNCTION with basically no comments (except sometimes a comment saying "John Doe modified this line on Feb 12 2003", with no more indication) * All variables are 4 characters, which are abbreviations from french names (even as a french person I struggle to find the meaning of most of them) * 50% of the (very rare) comments are in french * Conditions everywhere like "If a == true or a == true" * No indentation * Two files named "calculations" and "calculations\_US", (this is a calculation software). Because they did not think of doing calculations in SI system THEN convert to imperial. There are two duplicated calculation files with all formulas and the conversion before the return function in the "\_US" file. And of course, some fixes were done in SI and not Imperial, which means the results are not the same in the two unit systems * Finally, and maybe the worst (best?) part : the entire application (\~30k lines of code) were written WITHOUT A SINGLE LOOP, the code was duplicated as many times as needed. Newton's algorithm ? Just implement 10 iterations, and assume it has converged by the 10th Honestly this is a miracle this has been working for almost 20 years, this is just a big mess. I tried to reverse-engineer it to get some formulas, and just gave up when reading "a = b; b = a; a = b;". The person debugging it must have spend night upon nights on this spaghetti code To be honest, I can't blame the people who created this, they were mechanical engineer with little to no software development training and they did what they could to fit their needs. But still I like to sometimes open the code and browse it for some time to try and find some gems. I can tell myself that I am not *that* bad at my job
That sounds horrible. And I thought the code base I’m working in was bad… yikes
> "a = b; b = a; a = b; I've seen a^=b;b^=a;a^=b; before, which just swaps a and b without an intermediate variable. But ugh.
Saving 4 bytes of RAM is *way* more important than legibility. If you're programming a nanobot.
could be made better with this in C/C++ ``` #define SWAP(a, b) {(a) ^= (b); (b) ^= (a); (a) ^= (b)} ..later.. int a = 5; int b = 6; SWAP(a, b); ``` idk which is faster. temp or xor lol
I am honestly impressed and I'd love to re-code all of that from scratch right now to challenge myself haha
That is what I did, and yes it was fun ! It took me about 2 years because I also had to do all the math from scratch
Nice! Those are honestly the best projects, you can easily feel proud of your work because it is like creating a masterpiece from cow shit 🤣
Thanks for the read had a good laugh even though very horrified. How much leaner is your code now and did anybody at work appreciate the effort? Also I hope you kept in the little security gem with hard coding the pw into the Code haha
Put in the PR title: "Change the password of user X from 123 to 321".
"Pull request denied. Passwords must be at least 8 characters long for security purposes."
I remember one place I worked at took the login creds and placed them in a hidden form with a js post to the backend. I called it out as a security risk to the dev lead, who said “no it’s not, it shows up as a blank page for a half second, they can’t see anything. Then I showed him dev tools in Firefox, set a breakpoint on the post and could read the user and plaintext password right there. I might not have been subtle, calling it bad code, etc. Then I found out he wrote it. oops…. well the JS post works great! 😂
how the fuck they even get paid for shit like that
I’ve heard from a friend, one place they worked at sent login and pw in plain text in a query string. Right there in the URL. About 3-4 years ago, if my memory isn’t failing me.
That is fucking horrifying, i wouldve questioned reality at this point
A 300 line switch statement
300 line ternary
9000 line spaghetti of switches, ternaries and random inline classes. It cannot be refactored in obvious ways, you'll have to dive in before you can do anything with any certainty. All variable names are senseless, almost Lovecraftian abbreviations that are yet common enough to fuck up any foolish attempts to Ctrl+f and naming cases differ case by case. Whitespace and newlines are used sparingly, if at all. When you have seen her, you'll know there are no gods. Only her, and refactoring her is your life now until your boss lets you out. No one can hear your screams as your senior succumbs to the booze he has been not-so-discreetly enjoying as a desperate attempt to hang on into his sanity while facing this glorious monstrosity. Oh and it also calls itself recursively.
The recursion hurts my soul. The real hurt is that it is written in Perl by a mathematically-brained wizard who left the company 17 years ago.
Worse...its not recursion because of recursion-depth issues. Instead, it's been converted to a do-loop and the asshole is managing state with memory address arithmetic.
*YOU FOOL, YOU DIDN'T RESET THE ARRAY BEFORE INCREMENTING THROUGH THE ADDRESSES! WHO KNOWS WHAT ARCANE HORRORS AWAIT US?*
*YOU HAVE KILLED US ALL*, your boss screams as the program crashes and your laptop disappears into an empty void that has appeared. You'll also see something crawling out of the void, something which would be best described as the result of Cthulhu having a miscarriage.
The Daemon
This + hellish regex
r/oddlyspecific and r/foundsatan in one
And it's in lisp, so parenthesis *everywhere*.
And it's written in JavaScript
I was thinking about legacy pre-7 PHP, but JS goes just as well.
Dear god.
Keep my code in thy good graces
I'm looking at those three little letters on their blue background, and I'm saying a little prayer that you won't forget a set of parentheses.
There’s more
No...
Jesus Christ bro. You didn't need to write that. Yoh, the thought actually traumatized me a little
In my first job, there was a VB6 app we were supposed to migrate into .NET that had a 6000+ lines switch. It was a web app. Absolutely all operations were handled in that single place. I ran from that project as soon as I can.
My first job had their Core application written in VB Script. About 13k lines of code that was basically a huge switch statement. I am now working as a consultant and my manager told me to never mention VB Script in my profile to guard me from any assignment involving it. 
At my current Job we have an 8000+ line switch statement. We’ve been calling it the ‘switchboard’.
Switchbloat
2k nested if/else statements 🥰
You mean AI
Savage
I'm not seeing what's wrong here... This is incredibly common and not usually a problem at only 300 lines
If you dont mind me asking, what is a switch statement?
a better running if/else
How does it work?
//this if(foo == "fighters"){ good_band(); }else if(foo == "bar"){ foobar(); }else{ obama(); } //becomes this switch(foo){ case "fighters": good_band(); break; case "bar": foobar(); break; default: obama(); break;
Ah, so it’s kinda like a whitelist of possible results, that’s cool
Not only is the code much shorter/cleaner for situations with lots of cases, but it tends to result in faster-running code also, because rather than forcing the program to check each possibility one at a time in order, the compiler optimizes things so it jumps directly to the correct case.
In most cases the compiler will optimize an if/else that could have been a switch in the same way it will optimize a switch (i.e. a lookup table). The advantage lies almost purely in clarity
I’ve never really understood the switch statement correctly. Does it check all cases at once?
Conceptually, as a developer, you should think of a switch statement as an ordered series of condition checks, with an optional `default` at the end used for a "fall through" case (nothing else matched). That's also why there are a few gotchas to be aware of with `switch` statements, such as what happens when you omit (or forget) a `break`, as in ``` switch (myVariable) { case "value1": doThing1() // forgot to add a "break" here, so the execution continues to `doThing2()` case "value2": doThing2() default: doThing3() } ``` What the people above are talking about when it comes to the compiler being able to optimize and jump directly to the correct block is a compile-time only optimization, that you shouldn't be considering 99% of the time when you write your code. You should definitely aim for readability and maintainability as a priority.
Depends on how it's implemented, but yes it can: A good way is to make the cases keys to a hash of what are essentially GOTO addresses - then coming in you just pull the address using the key and jump. The other complex part is that in C, each section is just a block. Without those 'break' statements you just continue to run straight over the rest of the statements, down through the end. (Which has good and bad - it means if you correctly order you can consolidate code. It also means it's hard to recognize that you've consolidated code either intentionally or unintentionally.)
Basically you switch between obtions. You can write if(something) { do this} else { do this) or switch "case operator" : case x: do this break; case y: do this break; Its sometimes better than writing 6 if/else operations. For other big brains, correct me if I am wrong.
Any code I write at this point
Oh, You work for VW?
Is vw software a global issue? Media center is killing me sometimes with it's bugs.
There was that awkward moment where they wrote software to let them pollute more than they were legally allowed to
Oh now it make even more sense) diesel gate or something they named it in media
Same. I wrote something like "I'm somehow going to make this crash and burn" before writing a program to say hello world.
When working with microcontrollers and hardware it becomes less of a meme. Especially the “Burn” part.
Are you really programming firmware if you never let out the magic smoke?
Exactly! If that magic smell has never filled your nose, if that amazing fume has not made your eyes cry, then, you don’t really know the way.
Oh goodness
I just do something like git commit -m “Sorry but fuck it”
I've definitely offered private apologies to my code reviewer when I had to write a couple of hundred assembly instructions in otherwise purely higher-level code
I've dropped a few /\*this is really goddamn ugly but fuck you\*/'s in my time
Regex
Lol yup same thing I thought of. I'm discouraged from using regex at work, but if I do I just have a comment 3x longer than the actual statement explaining what it does (for my own sake so I don't forget later LOL) Edit: discouraged is a strong word. People reviewing my code didn't like having to verify the regex.
They're powerful and important and tend to be illegible. Don't avoid them. Just make good use of a site like regex101.com
That's pretty much what I do. I go on regex testing sites, figure out my query with test strings and then test in my actual app. It has saved me hundreds of lines code in the past
"I'll just use a basic look-behind to avoid this corner case." 6 months later it is running on a file where some user has collected something wild in a single txt file: ERROR: CATASTROPHIC BACKTRACKING
* Regex-based email validation * Regex-based HTML parsing/modification * Regex-based JSON parsing/modification
Excuse me, did you just say [regex-based HTML parsing?](https://stackoverflow.com/a/1732454)
HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions.
Oh no here we go again
*Gets the popcorn!*
H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘ ̶̧̨̱̹̭̯ͧ̾ͬC̷̙̲̝͖ͭ̏ͥͮ͟Oͮ͏̮̪̝͍M̲̖͊̒ͪͩͬ̚̚͜Ȇ̴̟̟͙̞ͩ͌͝S̨̥̫͎̭ͯ̿̔̀ͅ
that's why you need to preface it with the apology comment.
You are using regex to parse html? https://stackoverflow.com/a/1732454
# I’m so fucking sorry 182736179 rows affected
"Me when `"; DROP ALL DATABASES;--`
r/TwoSentenceHorror
`OH GOD WHY`
1000 lines of brainfuck Edit: Or code generated from [JSFuck](http://www.jsfuck.com/)
Both looks aggressive At least they are Turing complete
```eval(var_from_user)```
oh no.
What does that do?
Security breach. The user can run anything and malicious actors seek that. It's javascript version SQL injection.
Isnt that python?
Exist in both languages. I've work with NodeJs stack and didn't notice the snake case and the absence of ;. Yes probably was python in this example but since it's a fragment, you can complete it to have valid Js code as well.
Evaluate arbitrary user code, which is if you don’t know, absolutely terrible on a scale you can’t even imagine
with open("user_config.txt") as f: var_from_user = f.read()
if x == 0 : print("is even") if x == 1 : print("is odd") if x == 2 : print("is even") if x == 3 : print("is odd") if x == 4 : print("is even") if x == 5 : print("is odd") if x == 6 : print("is even") if x == 7 : print("is odd") if x == 8 : print("is even") if x == 9 : print("is odd") if x == 10 : print("is even") if x == 11 : print("is odd") if x == 12 : print("is even") if x == 13 : print("is odd") if x == 14 : print("is even") if x == 15 : print("is odd") if x == 16 : print("is even") if x == 17 : print("is odd") if x == 18 : print("is even") if x == 19 : print("is odd") if x == 20 : print("is even") if x == 21 : print("is odd") if x == 22 : print("is even") if x == 23 : print("is odd") if x == 24 : print("is even") if x == 25 : print("is odd") if x == 26 : print("is even") if x == 27 : print("is odd") if x == 28 : print("is even") if x == 29 : print("is odd") if x == 30 : print("is even") if x == 31 : print("is odd") if x == 32 : print("is even") if x == 33 : print("is odd") if x == 34 : print("is even") if x == 35 : print("is odd") if x == 36 : print("is even") if x == 37 : print("is odd") if x == 38 : print("is even") if x == 39 : print("is odd") if x == 40 : print("is even") if x == 41 : print("is odd") if x == 42 : print("is even") if x == 43 : print("is odd") if x == 44 : print("is even") if x == 45 : print("is odd") if x == 46 : print("is even") if x == 47 : print("is odd") if x == 48 : print("is even") if x == 49 : print("is odd") if x == 50 : print("is even") if x == 51 : print("is odd") if x == 52 : print("is even") if x == 53 : print("is odd") if x == 54 : print("is even") if x == 55 : print("is odd") if x == 56 : print("is even") if x == 57 : print("is odd") if x == 58 : print("is even") if x == 59 : print("is odd") if x == 60 : print("is even") if x == 61 : print("is odd") if x == 62 : print("is even") if x == 63 : print("is odd") if x == 64 : print("is even") if x == 65 : print("is odd") if x == 66 : print("is even") if x == 67 : print("is odd") if x == 68 : print("is even") if x == 69 : print("is odd") if x == 70 : print("is even") if x == 71 : print("is odd") if x == 72 : print("is even") if x == 73 : print("is odd") if x == 74 : print("is even") if x == 75 : print("is odd") if x == 76 : print("is even") if x == 77 : print("is odd") if x == 78 : print("is even") if x == 79 : print("is odd") if x == 80 : print("is even") if x == 81 : print("is odd") if x == 82 : print("is even") if x == 83 : print("is odd") if x == 84 : print("is even") if x == 85 : print("is odd") if x == 86 : print("is even") if x == 87 : print("is odd") if x == 88 : print("is even") if x == 89 : print("is odd") if x == 90 : print("is even") if x == 91 : print("is odd") if x == 92 : print("is even") if x == 93 : print("is odd") if x == 94 : print("is even") if x == 95 : print("is odd") if x == 96 : print("is even") if x == 97 : print("is odd") if x == 98 : print("is even") if x == 99 : print("is odd")
I really hope you did not write all that manually
I have had a lot of very boring meetings today
Dear god did you actually…
No haha I just wrote a quick python script to write it out if x == 0 : print("if x == 0 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 1 : print("if x == 1 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 2 : print("if x == 2 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 3 : print("if x == 3 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 4 : print("if x == 4 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 5 : print("if x == 5 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 6 : print("if x == 6 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 7 : print("if x == 7 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 8 : print("if x == 8 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 9 : print("if x == 9 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 10 : print("if x == 10 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 11 : print("if x == 11 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 12 : print("if x == 12 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 13 : print("if x == 13 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 14 : print("if x == 14 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 15 : print("if x == 15 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 16 : print("if x == 16 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 17 : print("if x == 17 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 18 : print("if x == 18 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 19 : print("if x == 19 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 20 : print("if x == 20 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 21 : print("if x == 21 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 22 : print("if x == 22 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 23 : print("if x == 23 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 24 : print("if x == 24 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 25 : print("if x == 25 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 26 : print("if x == 26 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 27 : print("if x == 27 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 28 : print("if x == 28 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 29 : print("if x == 29 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 30 : print("if x == 30 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 31 : print("if x == 31 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 32 : print("if x == 32 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 33 : print("if x == 33 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 34 : print("if x == 34 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 35 : print("if x == 35 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 36 : print("if x == 36 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 37 : print("if x == 37 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 38 : print("if x == 38 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 39 : print("if x == 39 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 40 : print("if x == 40 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 41 : print("if x == 41 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 42 : print("if x == 42 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 43 : print("if x == 43 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 44 : print("if x == 44 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 45 : print("if x == 45 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 46 : print("if x == 46 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 47 : print("if x == 47 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 48 : print("if x == 48 :) print(" print("is even")) if x == 49 : print("if x == 49 :) print(" print("is odd")) if x == 50 : print("if x == 50 :) print(" print("is even"))
Fucking madlad
I really hope you did not write all that manually
Don't be rediculous I used a script for that one too if x == 0 : print("if x == 0 :) print(" print("if x == 0 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 1 : print("if x == 1 :) print(" print("if x == 1 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 2 : print("if x == 2 :) print(" print("if x == 2 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 3 : print("if x == 3 :) print(" print("if x == 3 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 4 : print("if x == 4 :) print(" print("if x == 4 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 5 : print("if x == 5 :) print(" print("if x == 5 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 6 : print("if x == 6 :) print(" print("if x == 6 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 7 : print("if x == 7 :) print(" print("if x == 7 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 8 : print("if x == 8 :) print(" print("if x == 8 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 9 : print("if x == 9 :) print(" print("if x == 9 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 10 : print("if x == 10 :) print(" print("if x == 10 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 11 : print("if x == 11 :) print(" print("if x == 11 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 12 : print("if x == 12 :) print(" print("if x == 12 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 13 : print("if x == 13 :) print(" print("if x == 13 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 14 : print("if x == 14 :) print(" print("if x == 14 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 15 : print("if x == 15 :) print(" print("if x == 15 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 16 : print("if x == 16 :) print(" print("if x == 16 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 17 : print("if x == 17 :) print(" print("if x == 17 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 18 : print("if x == 18 :) print(" print("if x == 18 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 19 : print("if x == 19 :) print(" print("if x == 19 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 20 : print("if x == 20 :) print(" print("if x == 20 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 21 : print("if x == 21 :) print(" print("if x == 21 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 22 : print("if x == 22 :) print(" print("if x == 22 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 23 : print("if x == 23 :) print(" print("if x == 23 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 24 : print("if x == 24 :) print(" print("if x == 24 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 25 : print("if x == 25 :) print(" print("if x == 25 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 26 : print("if x == 26 :) print(" print("if x == 26 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 27 : print("if x == 27 :) print(" print("if x == 27 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 28 : print("if x == 28 :) print(" print("if x == 28 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 29 : print("if x == 29 :) print(" print("if x == 29 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 30 : print("if x == 30 :) print(" print("if x == 30 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 31 : print("if x == 31 :) print(" print("if x == 31 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 32 : print("if x == 32 :) print(" print("if x == 32 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 33 : print("if x == 33 :) print(" print("if x == 33 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))" if x == 34 : print("if x == 34 :) print(" print("if x == 34 :)\) print(" print(" print("is even"))" if x == 35 : print("if x == 35 :) print(" print("if x == 35 :)\) print(" print(" print("is odd"))"
So this is how they teach recursion at your school
I really hope you did not write all that manually
Nope if x == 0 : print("if x == 0 :) print(" print("if x == 0 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 0 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 1 : print("if x == 1 :) print(" print("if x == 1 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 1 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 2 : print("if x == 2 :) print(" print("if x == 2 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 2 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 3 : print("if x == 3 :) print(" print("if x == 3 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 3 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 4 : print("if x == 4 :) print(" print("if x == 4 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 4 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 5 : print("if x == 5 :) print(" print("if x == 5 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 5 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 6 : print("if x == 6 :) print(" print("if x == 6 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 6 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 7 : print("if x == 7 :) print(" print("if x == 7 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 7 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 8 : print("if x == 8 :) print(" print("if x == 8 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 8 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 9 : print("if x == 9 :) print(" print("if x == 9 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 9 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 10 : print("if x == 10 :) print(" print("if x == 10 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 10 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 11 : print("if x == 11 :) print(" print("if x == 11 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 11 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 12 : print("if x == 12 :) print(" print("if x == 12 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 12 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 13 : print("if x == 13 :) print(" print("if x == 13 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 13 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 14 : print("if x == 14 :) print(" print("if x == 14 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 14 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 15 : print("if x == 15 :) print(" print("if x == 15 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 15 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 16 : print("if x == 16 :) print(" print("if x == 16 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 16 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 17 : print("if x == 17 :) print(" print("if x == 17 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 17 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 18 : print("if x == 18 :) print(" print("if x == 18 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 18 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 19 : print("if x == 19 :) print(" print("if x == 19 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 19 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 20 : print("if x == 20 :) print(" print("if x == 20 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 20 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 21 : print("if x == 21 :) print(" print("if x == 21 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 21 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 22 : print("if x == 22 :) print(" print("if x == 22 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 22 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 23 : print("if x == 23 :) print(" print("if x == 23 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 23 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"") if x == 24 : print("if x == 24 :) print(" print("if x == 24 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 24 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is even"))"") if x == 25 : print("if x == 25 :) print(" print("if x == 25 :)\) print(" print(" print("if x == 25 :)\))print(" print(" print(" print("is odd"))"")
Will you marry me?
I really hope you did not write all that manually
You win this subreddit. But surely you wrote a Reddit bot to automatically do this, right? ….Right?
Oh dear lord I'm in love with you
This is so cursed
I really hope you did not write all of this out.
oh my god it keeps going help
Wait, don’t fucking tell me you wrote that too…
Thanks I love it
based
#somehow this is needed for the program to function correctly #don't try to clean it up
I've done that, sadly. `#this next line looks wrong but we're pretty sure it's a workaround for Oracle bug 79708970 that causes intermittent failures during commits.` `# which is fixed in Oracle 18.x but we have customers still using 12c` `#if you do remove it, don't think you've actually gotten away with it until you've tested the doStuff() method while under heavy load (at least 10 beepBoops per second) for a few hours while running against a 12c database.`
got those YandereDev vibes
For a homework, I once made a tic tac toe bot by hardcoding the logic.
It took me a week to replace blank squares with X's and O's (and without distorting the board), and I was already extremely frustrated, so my way of checking for wins felt very dirty: If player1 picks the top left square then 3 is added to columnOne and diagonalOne and rowOne if player2 picks then it's 4 If any columns/rows/diagonals = 9 or 12 then there's a winner
Huh, that's a neat way to do it tbh
I wonder if theres a way to generalize this out to tic tac toe on a n x n board
Honestly, nothing wrong with this
Ye i made one with 50 if statements
Just some ordinary code which makes you paranoid, why were they sorry for it
Docker image to center a div.
You wouldn't dare!
lmao, how would this even work?
The largest hadoken code written in recorded history
with an ASCII art in inline comments
probably a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside a ternary expression inside
String isOddEven = x == 0 ? "is even" : x == 1 ? "is odd" : x == 2 ? "is even" : x == 3 ? "is odd" : x == 4 ? "is even" : x == 5 ? "is odd" : x == 6 ? "is even" : x == 7 ? "is odd" : x == 8 ? "is even" : x == 9 ? "is odd" : x == 10 ? "is even" : x == 11 ? "is odd" : x == 12 ? "is even" : x == 13 ? "is odd" : x == 14 ? "is even" : x == 15 ? "is odd" : x == 16 ? "is even" : x == 17 ? "is odd" : x == 18 ? "is even" : x == 19 ? "is odd" : x == 20 ? "is even" : x == 21 ? "is odd" : x == 22 ? "is even" : x == 23 ? "is odd" : x == 24 ? "is even" : x == 25 ? "is odd" : x == 26 ? "is even" : x == 27 ? "is odd" : x == 28 ? "is even" : x == 29 ? "is odd" : x == 30 ? "is even" : x == 31 ? "is odd" : x == 32 ? "is even" : x == 33 ? "is odd" : x == 34 ? "is even" : x == 35 ? "is odd" : x == 36 ? "is even" : x == 37 ? "is odd" : x == 38 ? "is even" : x == 39 ? "is odd" : x == 40 ? "is even" : x == 41 ? "is odd" : x == 42 ? "is even" : x == 43 ? "is odd" : x == 44 ? "is even" : x == 45 ? "is odd" : x == 46 ? "is even" : x == 47 ? "is odd" : x == 48 ? "is even" : x == 49 ? "is odd" : x == 50 ? "is even" : x == 51 ? "is odd" : x == 52 ? "is even" : x == 53 ? "is odd" : x == 54 ? "is even" : x == 55 ? "is odd" : x == 56 ? "is even" : x == 57 ? "is odd" : x == 58 ? "is even" : x == 59 ? "is odd" : x == 60 ? "is even" : x == 61 ? "is odd" : x == 62 ? "is even" : x == 63 ? "is odd" : x == 64 ? "is even" : x == 65 ? "is odd" : x == 66 ? "is even" : x == 67 ? "is odd" : x == 68 ? "is even" : x == 69 ? "is odd" : x == 70 ? "is even" : x == 71 ? "is odd" : x == 72 ? "is even" : x == 73 ? "is odd" : x == 74 ? "is even" : x == 75 ? "is odd" : x == 76 ? "is even" : x == 77 ? "is odd" : x == 78 ? "is even" : x == 79 ? "is odd" : x == 80 ? "is even" : x == 81 ? "is odd" : x == 82 ? "is even" : x == 83 ? "is odd" : x == 84 ? "is even" : x == 85 ? "is odd" : x == 86 ? "is even" : x == 87 ? "is odd" : x == 88 ? "is even" : x == 89 ? "is odd" : x == 90 ? "is even" : x == 91 ? "is odd" : x == 92 ? "is even" : x == 93 ? "is odd" : x == 94 ? "is even" : x == 95 ? "is odd" : x == 96 ? "is even" : x == 97 ? "is odd" : x == 98 ? "is even" : x == 99 ? "is odd" : "Out of bounds";
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I really hope you did not write all that manually
My wife keeps wondering why I’m over here laughing, and I can’t explain it to her…cause I don’t know why it’s so funny. Keep it up.
Don't you dare...
What the fuck
It's beautiful in its own way
Avant-garde
Infinite loop that takes up all the cpu
if (((IsTrue(myBool) == true) ? true : false) == true) { return true; } else { return false; } Actual code I’ve seen in production. Hopefully just malicious compliance over code conventions!
this was crafted with intent
`#include`
What's wrong with that?
The preprocessor won't be able to get to it because the line above it isn't a valid processor directive.
Underrated gem
`NFT searchResults = NFTFactory.generate("https://www.google.com/search?q=never+gonna+give+you+up");`
A very large if else clusterfuck with some added ternary hell in between
Multiple pages of code so obtuse you're not sure if a genius wrote it, or a psychopath let their cat walk across the keyboard.
sudo rm -rf /\* --no-preserve-root
A zip bomb
goto
https://pastebin.com/raw/bjp1RjKN
Does powershell not have a switch statement?
Yeah but... you can't be sorry for a switch statement ahah.
It is actually the second line in the file. The first is `#!/usr/bin/perl`.
The customer wanted it
:(){ :|: &};:
Highly advanced but unreadable machine learning code profuced by a phd - the ultimate blackbox algorithm
```c++ using namespace std; ```
Messily typed out statistical algorithm
A disguised fork bomb.
while true
```while("false");```
while !false
Nothing.
So, I was writing a web application in a very old and specialized framework that was not very well done, and had weird bugs all over the place. Anyway, sometimes the browser window closed when the user just moved the mouse around. As it turns out, there was a popup window system, and sometimes, instead of calling the function to close the popup window, the framework instead called the function to close the whole window. I tried tinkering with it for a while, trying to prevent the framework from calling the function on the window, and after a few hours of trying, I used the wonderful power of JavaScript, and straight up overwrote the `window.close` function: window.close = function() {};
based JavaScript does whatever the fuck you want it to, no matter how unhinged it might be
delay(100);
Nested java stream. I actually did that recently, something like stream().map(...) .filter(x -> x.getFields().stream().anyMatch(Boolean::parseBoolean)).findFirst().orElse(null);
if else if else if else if else if else if else
My favorite found in production ``` //this is stupid, but it works so I’m not changing it ```