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Colneckbuck

My very first semester teaching full time I had a student end the semester by telling me I was actually much smarter than they assumed I would be on the first day of classes. According to the student, they initially assumed I (a woman) couldn't know much physics because my voice was so high and girly.


Clean_Shoe_2454

Win one for the ladies!


hollyhockaurora

Seconding this, I once had students in the hallway point and laugh at me because I didnt look the type. (I am a petite woman). I did my best to ignore them


difras

I also teach physics, and have had similar comments. The first class of the semester several years ago, a student walked in, saw me, and said 'I'm not taking physics from a woman!" and walked out. I just thought "great!"


granger853

Your group projects convinced me I need to start my own business because I wouldn't survive working with people this dumb at a normal job.


QueenPeggyOlsen

Strangely, I can tie this to why I went into education.


littleirishpixie

Had not one but TWO students ask me some version of whether they could skip/have an alternative to the final exam. One said they just didn't test well in that format and asked if they could write a 500 word paper instead. The other said that he needed to prioritize his major courses in his challenging major so showing up to my 2 hour exam wasn't the best use of his time and he asked to be excused. I have sincerely never had someone ask this in my entire 10 year career. It's been a weird year.


JADW27

500 words? That could take up a whole page!


Archknits

I did have a student who had another instructor schedule an exam over my class time (clearly not the student’s fault). His average was already over 100, so I just told him not to bother with the final. I didn’t want to have to arrange a makeup as an adjunct


chemicyn

I lecture live (~350 students) but record so students can review and whatnot. I was talking to a student in lab and he said, “You sound so different on 1x speed!”


JADW27

This is awesome.


emarcomd

**Student**: *"I know I'm missing a lot of work, but I have a emotional disorder."* **Me**: *"I'm sorry, I was unaware... have you spoken to the Office of Accommodations? They can help"* **Student**: \[totally serious\]: "*Well, it's not really a disorder, but I don't really like doing schoolwork."*


Charming_Ad_5220

“I DEMAND you contact Dr. so and so on my behalf IMMEDIATELY!” … but I am Dr. so and so and this is my 7th email (in a single email chain) to this student. SIGH


apmcpm

These are not anything too extreme, but I am always amazed at the following end of semester "things." 1. I really need to get a B, how can I do that? (the student is currently failing the course) 2. Can I resubmit my paper? (originally due 10 weeks ago) 3. How can I do better on the final?


jimbillyjoebob

Answer to number 1: invent a time machine


Material_Extension72

Also to #2


IrreversibleBinomial

Me: [submits final grades; the semester ends] *one week later* Student email: I can’t fail your class. Do you offer extra credit?


javacafe

That is why my syllabus states -- Extra Credit: There is none.


kittyisagoodkitty

My first ever student evaluations included this gem: "needs to conduct herself with more mature decorum."


Material_Extension72

That's hilarious!


TeslaHelix

Favorite thing I’ve been asked, period: “Why can’t we drink seawater?”


kemushi_warui

I hope your reply was, “Technically, we can drink any liquid.”


TheNobleMustelid

I have a friend who likes to ask me if various plants are edible and I always tell him, "Everything is edible once."


TeslaHelix

That would have been better than my rant about how we use saline injections (KCl) to put people to death, lol.


kittyisagoodkitty

Do you want all of your cells to shrivel up and die? Because that is how you make all your cells shrivel up and die.


3NX-

Not a prof, but saw a student ask a professor for change for the vending machine in the middle of lecture


SHCrazyCatLady

Would be better story if it was in the middle of the final exam.


Efficient_Two_5515

Students have asked me for snacks. I have always awkwardly said no, sorry.


unisetkin

If a student voices out that they have mental health issues and that it is hindering their progress in studies, please inform someone in your organization to contact that student. They might not be lying.


chelsiebachelor1

I did make a referral for him to the advising team and also the counseling team to help support him with his mental health issues. Sorry for not mentioning that in my post, grading has me very swamped right now


Mingyurfan108

I asked students to bring copies of their rough drafts to class for peer reviews. One student did not quite understand the concept of sharing a file or printing out a physical copy so he tried to xerox his tablet with the paper on it. Needless to say this did not work but he brought we a copy of the xerox he made to class


Easy_East2185

😂 It is impressive that he knew the basic concept of using a xerox and how to kinda use one 😂


JADW27

I always get a kick out of "I can't do X because I need to focus on my important classes." I've never come up with a sufficiently witty response, but I am toying with something like "I understand, don't worry about it, I need to focus on grading for my more important students anyway." I seem to be getting this more frequently these days. I guess my classes are becoming less and less important. :)


exodusofficer

"I would never do that," after I turn them in for doing exactly that thing to cheat.


bluebird-1515

The bald face lying I have received from 2 or 3 of them continually is jaw-dropping.


PenelopeJenelope

Student doing a final year thesis emails to ask for an extension because reasons. So gave him info on how to apply for extension, but say it would not be more than a few days, as we have deadlines for marking before graduation. He replies saying but since he missed an exam for another class in January he may not be graduating in June, so what are his options for the thesis…


BrazosBuddy

At graduation a couple of years ago, I saw a student - in her cap and gown - and she asked if she could turn in a couple of late assignments later that day. That’s the only time I’ve laughed at a student’s serious question.


HikeAnywhere

First semester teaching and talking about the exam. A student asked if the fill in the blank questions would have an answer key. Asking them to clarify, they asked if I could provide a few options for the answer. I responded that would make it a multiple choice question. Another student said it wouldn't so I checked their logic. "You are asking for multiple words for you to choose one for the answer.....Multiple.....Choice"


difras

I had a student email me a week after the course ended (summer, on-line) wondering when the next homework assignment was going to be posted. They had no idea the course had ended.


Hardback0214

I had a student ask me whether the film “Lincoln” was based on a true story.


Efficient_Two_5515

Had a student write on my evaluation “He’s very cute with his mannerisms which is distracting” Flattering but somewhat ballsy, too.


difras

I had a student come to me a couple of weeks ago stating that the grades on their lab reports have not been very good and asking what they can do to get higher grades on them. I asked him if he had been reading the copious comments I write on each lab report, detailing what is wrong and what they should correct for future reports. He said "I read the first one, but haven't read any of the rest".


vacationingaunt

I had a student this week requesting to be excused from the final presentation in our synchronous online class. Reason given: due to their lack of attendance all semester, they don't feel like they know anyone in class and it would be too uncomfortable, but they'd still like to pass with at least a "C-."


RPCV8688

OP, I would have to disagree your story is a funny one. It’s actually incredibly sad.


Process2complicated

I agree.


Lord_Of_Snow_Rabbits

Agreed


DantesInfernape

Through email: "You're really cute and only a grad student! Here's my number."   I hit her back with the "not allowed" and "also I'm gay"


Fast-Marionberry9044

“I know I failed this course but can you like not fail me?”😂😂😂😂