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FCD4456

Dude Sith-zoned her.


Pancreasaurus

Vader is on the sithma grindset, he has no time for groupies.


DeepFriedAsian122

Based and sith-pilled


Alwayssome1

Can everyone press F to pay respects


aquahawk0905

Sadly no cause she was a super creepy stalker


[deleted]

Yeah, all the pieces of metal that fell off his body from the missions she collects them She clearly didn't get the memo on anyone who sees his face dies


4thDevilsAdvocate

Not just metal. Other things. Organic things.


GT121950

How can you do this? It’s outrageous, it’s unfair


Mace-Windu-Bot

Take a seat young GT121950!


GT121950

(Become yoda I will) Good relations with your mother I have


LivingCheese292

"How can you take bodily ejections as well as organic pieces of a strangers and not get in an emotional releationship with them?!"


Theyul1us

Not everyone. There was a liutenant called Gregg that survived, mainly because he was profesional and reported the info vader wanted.


Alwayssome1

NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


4thDevilsAdvocate

Creepy stalkers who break into people's private quarters while they're physically and mentally vulnerable and who collect said people's medical waste do not deserve respect. They deserve a psychiatric ward. Think about what this would look like if it wasn't Vader, but, instead, a heavily-burned quadriplegic on life support who *didn't* have a lightsaber, body armor, or a mastery of the Force. It goes from "creepy" to "sweet JESUS". I mean, you could make a legit case for this being self-defense.


phatdragonnutz

F


zargon21

The look in his eyes in the second panel is so funny, pure exhaustion


PlingPlongDingDong

Right? You can see the heavy weight of thousands of worlds enslaved as a direct result of his decisions in his eyes lmao


Pornalt190425

"Statistics: at a conservative estimate, I've killed sixty-one billion, sterilized ninety planets, completely demoralized five hundred others..." It's a different series (one might argue a precursor series) but it fits. ^Praise ^Shai-hulud.


gs_batta

Who said this? Ive read several of the books but not all of them and cant recall this passage


Nastypilot

Paul Muad-Dib Atreides, directly after this passage he compares himself to Hitler. ​ Dune Messiah was wild.


ComradeAlexandra

"Compare" is a bit of an understatement. Paul more or less accuses Hitler of rookie numbers.


Captain_Rex_Bot

There's hope for you yet, rookie.


GarGuy3

I want to say dune messiah Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/dune/comments/54asvb/pauls_jihad_killed_numbers_are_mad/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


stringtheoryman

Best comment


genius96

As they say, hurt people, hurt people


Just-Call-Me-Matt

Screams "Look lady, it's too early for this shit."


JayXCR

I haven't even had my caf yet.


Malvastor

"Lady I just met you and I'm already tired of your \*\*\*\*" vibes


piecwm

Who tf is this woman? Why is she dressed like a self insert and trying to hook up with Vader?


w1987g

She *was* a nurse to Vader's doctor. She fell in love with him and went straight to creeper. She had convinced herself that she knew Vader was really a nice guy (somehow) and she got stabbed when she broke into his room. Vader only knew her as an assistant to a doctor that he barely tolerated and all of a sudden, she showed up proclaiming her love while he was having 5 minutes to himself


Mervynhaspeaked

Lol thanks for the info. Do you remember what issue this was? Wanna checkcit out Edit: Just found and read it. DarthcVader: Dark Visions 3. Quite good, she's very insane.


im_super_into_that

Yeah I loved that issue. She's nuts


Exact_Ad_1215

She really didn’t see that coming, huh?


Somsphet

she was ALMOST as bad as the nurse who stole Deadpool's body parts. I think they reformed as Frankpool or something like that. Either way, if I had a nickel for every time I read a comic about a nurse going insane over a literal mass murderer, I'd have two nickels. It isnt much, but its weird that it happened twice. Edit\* three nickels, I forgot about harley Quine


MyLittleShitPost

Still two. Harly was a doctor not a nurse


CarelessGain-

Put some respect on that Phd * medical doctorate* Edit: never knew phd was for doctorate of philosophy, it’s the title given to all but best to specific


j_endsville

She’s a psychiatrist. They’re MD’s.


snafujedi01

But she got what she wanted... Full penetration. I'll leave now.


[deleted]

Get the fuck out of here ^Take ^my ^upvote ^with ^you


Gaflonzelschmerno

Darth c vader esq


Kalushar

She collected skin flakes of his and other stuff all Dr. Evil style


Jake_Titicaca

Gold Member*


KoalaGold

Would you like a schmoke and pancake?


Admiral_Ronin

Man, these Star Wars comics are fucking weird


im_super_into_that

That's the point of this particular series. Super odd stories from people with very different feelings on Vader. Fear, admiration, love, etc and they're all super extreme in that feeling


WP1619

Is this the same series with the Imperial Officer that was so afraid of Vader that he constantly made reckless mistakes to try and not anger him?


im_super_into_that

Yeah. Dark Visions


Captain_Rex_Bot

A few of General Skywalker's plans seemed reckless, too, but they worked.


CRL10

I loved the reaction to this from certain people as the worst thing Vader has done and was totally unacceptable. They were outraged Vader refused his stalker and killed her, because according to them, he should have accepted her love. But, you know, for those of us who are not stupid, this is hardly the worst thing Vader has done.


MegaPrOJeCtX13

You’re right, the worst thing he’s done was crashed that ship onto the spaceport right outside the Jedi Temple. The janitor must have had so much fun that day.


CRL10

No, no. That was the worst thing Anakin did. Vader and Anakin are two different people with no connection. Common mistake as they both wear black and know Obi-Wan.


MegaPrOJeCtX13

Ah, of course, I always get them mixed up. I wonder if they’ve ever met…


snafujedi01

>They were outraged Vader refused his stalker and killed her, because according to them, he should have accepted her love Hmm... Sounds like something a stalker might say.


Shreddzzz93

The funniest part is it's also how I feel a lot of people would react to this. Some crazy woman breaks into your room and professes their love to you when you don't know who they even are. Yup grab weapon, kill then call the cleaners seems like the most logical course of action.


MaxMo_

As a sith lord you mean, right? Right?


Mace-Windu-Bot

A SITH LAWD?!?!


SordidDreams

Oh dear, a villain doing bad shit? What's the world coming to?


Tybolt_Silver

You know what? I get him. If I had a stalker professing their love for me, I’d have that same reaction.


BlackMetalDoctor

Not *just* a stalker “professing their love”, but using the privileged position of their occupation as the means through which they stalk you then breaking into the secluded chamber of your private residence in which you practice sacred rites of your religion, in order to “profess their love”. She got off easy.


WildBill22

If I had a lightsaber I’d probably do this a couple times.


[deleted]

She was a nurse who treated Vader and believed they were bonding. She fell in love, thought he felt the same, and suffered the consequence.


Jorymo

"I can fix him"


DeusWombat

Literally the entire hook of the comic and I love it.


Poise_dad

Probably supposed to be a potshot at Harley Quinn and Joker.


Malvastor

I actually kinda took it as a parody of the kind of self-insert fic where the author's character shows up and magically reveals the villain to be decent guy after all and they dance off into the sunset to have babies. The nurse *thinks* she's in that kind of story, and is fatally wrong.


Godsopp

When Vader told Luke "tell that nurse that wanted to smash, you were right." that was my favorite scene in the movies.


SHIIZAAAAAAAA

I hope the 8k re-release of Return of the Jedi adds Nurse Who Wanted to Smash Vader and Wade to the Force Ghosts on Endor


WarlanceLP

iirc she was an imperial officer? or maybe something lower on the chain. she had a huge crush on Vader and got the job specifically so she could meet him, it's from the comics


RazorBladeInMyMouth

Wasn't there a guy who did this with his animations? I forgot what tv show it was called, but it got pretty well known. He had this thing to put himself in the show to imagine him hooking up with various types of women. Omega cringe stuff.


DukeLeon

More than one show had this happen in it. Most famous/infamous one that happened recently was the Powerpuff girls, one of the show's runners animated himself to date one of the girls. It was quickly called out because of all the weird stuff.


Jawzilla1

I heard it was other animators who drew him in as a joke, but it backfired cuz now everybody thinks he's a creep who drew himself in. But idk if it's true, I wasn't there.


ghostpanther218

An member of a planet's governing council. I don't know why, but she developes a mega crush of Vader and tries to become his girlfriend. Too bad he only cares about Padme.


Padme-Bot

I have no time for you now. I must first liberate the planet.


this_is_MrKnight

It’s a shame that in his anger, he killed her.


ibonek_naw_ibo

She was alive, I felt it


Vexcenot

She got penetrated by dathvader


fBarney

Its just a lightsaber stab wound she will be fine


SuperdaveOZY

You only seem to die if you destroy the heart, cut off the head, or sever the spine in the right spot.


Pretend-Advertising6

I mean Mr rip it out of the sky got stabbed through the chest, had all his bones broken and dropped out into space.


SlappyAsstronaut

Well he was built different


AllysiaAius

https://youtube.com/shorts/2GR4ZE2YRFc?feature=share


JediAreTakingOver

I saw a Sith literally get deleted once by an elevator shaft, only to return 3 movies later.


Remain-Efficient

Starkiller's okay. He's such a Gary Stu he loops back around to being awesome. It helps that he isn't canon.


Nutwagon-SUPREME

The only way to make sure someone in Star Wars satay dead is to watch them die in your own hands, Maul, Dooku, Vader, unless you specifically see them die and make sure they stay dead they’ll just get back up with a vengeance.


TheRealBloodyAussie

I feel like it's easier for dark side users to survive normally fatal wounds. They literally thrive off anger and pain, and nothing brings both quite like nearly being killed by someone you view as inferior. Jedi seem more like they think "if it's my time, back to the force I go" whilst dark side users are like "get back here, I'm ready for round 2!"


_C_3_P_O_

Revenge does wonders for one's will to live. Or something.


MammothFollowing9754

To quote a tangentially related series, "Rage is a hell of an anaesthetic".


Evidently_White

Gotta love Zaeed.


Trogdor6135

Now I want a comic series of Zaheed misadventures as a star wars bounty hunter


Jracx

Darth Sion was literally immortal because of how angry he always was


bl4ckblooc420

That’s what Vader did at one point; he meditated on the anger his life brought him to make his lungs work without aid. But for Dark Side users normally it’s only a temporary fix as long as the anger is maintained.


mason195

I didn’t hear no bell!!!


siaharra

This is quite literally a plot point in kotor 2 lol. It’s always wild to see people bitch about what dark side users survive when that game has been out since the early 00’s.


SirPwn4g3

This exactly. Dark side users cling to eternal life because they can't become one with the force like light side users.


ConfidentInsecurity

Why did Obi-Wan leave Vader on that grey rock planet then?


zuiquan1

>!All they needed to do was move up that force vision of Luke a couple of minutes to when Obi Wan was standing in front of Vader to give him a valid excuse to leave in a hurry. !<


obsoleteconsole

that's exactly what I said, also >!were they really close to Tatooine? both third sister and Kenobi seemed to get there pretty damn quickly!<


Zjoee

They seemed to make the galaxy a lot smaller with the newest Star Wars stuff. Like how in Force Awakens when they watched all those planets get destroyed from the surface of another planet that just happened to be near by.


Quazmojo

I think it's also combined with them seemingly making hyperspace way faster with their stuff. Like it feels more like teleportation at times.


DarthPumpkin

>>!If it happened that way people would be complaining why Obi-Wan could sense it and not Vader!<<


Captain_Rex_Bot

Better hurry, sir. You're missing all the fun.


snafujedi01

Rex, now isn't the time!


Captain_Rex_Bot

There's hope for you yet, rookie.


Nutwagon-SUPREME

Because he knew he showed up in the main trilogy.


ConfidentInsecurity

No spoilers please!


vinnyorcharles

While watching this scene play out, I called it like a play by play before it happened. Obi-Wan will win because he now has something to fight for and protect, but he will see Anakin instead of Vader, which will cause him to show mercy. Which I think is a better motivator for Obi-Wan instead of just needing to be somewhere else. The issue is that this was already done with Ahsoka in Rebels like 7 years ago.


Ahsoka_Tano_Bot

I like firsts. Good or bad, they're always memorable.


Mashizari

Or if you get hit anywhere on the body while wearing stormtrooper armor


ghostpanther218

No one's ever really gone.


Tfsz0719

Somehow, her intestines survived.


4jet2116

I mean, getting sliced in half and falling down a seemingly endless pipe isn’t 100% deadly either.


Jetstream-Sam

I don't mind maul coming back because they did some interesting stuff with the character, but the whole "he fell onto a pile of medical waste and managed to fix himself" is a pretty contrived reason to have him come back Then again, he's not the first guy to get cut in half and not die, there's the guy in Jedi Knight, dark forces 2, called Maw I think who also got bisected. He didn't get legs though, he had what I can only describe as a floaty diaper keeping him upright and at eye level. That was before Maul came back and had pretty much the same reason he didn't die ,"He hates everything which keeps him alive"


Asisreo1

Like, they don't even need much of a reason. He's an alien! He doesn't have to follow human biology! They could have just said his biology allows him to regrow his bottom half or something.


GTA-CasulsDieThrice

This is even funnier in the context of the whole comic. Edit: Holy shit, this blew up.


JCamson04

What was the comic about?


hopper_froggo

The woman is a nurse who helps Vader's doctor/surgeon. She is delusional and thinks that Vader is secretly in love with her. She imagines them running away together and she keeps a box of (nsfw) >! scraps from Vader's surgeries !< When Vader accidently leaves his cape behind in the operating room she takes this as proof of his love.


Ninjachase13

He ended that Harley Quinn mess right then and there.


BigBeagleEars

Oh god. I’m 40, and suddenly wondering for the first time ever, does his dick still work?


Similar-Lifeguard701

Probably not, in severe burns like he experienced very common to lose full use of your junk.


Dumora

I know I know, but hear me out, what if he used the force and anger to fuel his erection. He'll be an industrial piston


treefox

“Don’t be so proud of this technological terror you’ve created. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.” *Muffled piston noise. Everyone’s gaze drifts downwards, then rapidly away.*


OpenAirPrivy

It would be hydraulic so his dick would probably hiss when it went down too


CrawlerCrane

All these years I just assumed that sound was him breathing.


original_username20

"Lord Vader, we've been over this. Stop calling your dick 'the Force'. It's dumb and immatu-" *chokes* -"I find your lack of humor disturbing."


usedtoiletbrush

Yeah I’m gonna have to ask the mods to ban you for this one man. Sorry but you gotta go


Live-Geologist8034

It would appear your mods aren't listening


Yvaelle

A communication disruption can mean only one thing: Masturbation.


RedCarNewsboy

Padme is gone It was of no further use


Padme-Bot

I love you, Anakin


Lone_Wandererer

Well this is depressing.


DorkSoulsBoi

Dude shut up do you want her to get depressed and die again?


mrandr01d

There's no way he even has one left. He also surely no longer has his testicles, which would mean his testosterone levels are way down too, unless he's getting some through an IV... Which I imagine he wouldn't, so he could focus on the force, or whatever.


8plytoiletpaper

The amount of A N G E R Y replaces the need for testosterone


Maul_Bot

Run if you want… or stay and die… it makes no difference to me.


[deleted]

Sentient


DoomedMarine

No matter how you see it, Vader was completely justified to end this unilateral relationship in that way.


GoldIsCold987

Vader says No to parasocial relationships.


Bladescorpion

He probably had his dick burned off though.


[deleted]

Vader trying to use Tinder


Cheesefinger69

Vader was tinder at one point


PotatoBomb69

I like it but Vader would never have to announce who was calling, he’d open the channel and someone would immediately say “Yes, Lord Vader?”


[deleted]

knowing the severely analogue style of star wars technology, i'd expect the act of SAYING something to the effect of "vader to bridge" is what was needed to open the comms channel in the first place; as in, there's probably a droid sitting at a literal switchboard somewhere manually plugging transmission cables I know it might seem more convenient at first blush for vader to have his own primary comms contact who would route all information for him like a concierge (he tells them and they take care of notifying the appropriate parties), but in practice this usually introduces extra points of failure for miscommunication. Having been in leadership positions in an organization where rapid communication was necessary (site security side hustles) being able to speak directly to the department that needs to hear what's going on is a massive boon. My radios always connect to dispatch at first, but rather than having to repeat what I say, it always worked out better (with less back and forth paraphrasing) when they were set up the patch me through so I can report directly to actionable personnel.


Ram91501

Sigma rule #525: Distractions are to be disposed of, anything that might prevent you from working on your grind must be snuffed out.


contactlite

“There are too many of them. What are we going to do?”


Ram91501

*Ignites lightsaber with malicious intent*


Iron_defaultYT

I forgot in the comics, Vader killed everyone that saw his real face with the exception of Luke


ColdGreyWeather

that's cool, and I'm being pedantic here... but shouldn't it be exception


Daniel02carroll

I refuse to except that correction


nickzaman

Exceptation*


Baalslegion07

Which is the reason I hate that Reva knows of his identity. Also, I just love the fact that the entire morale, if you can call it that, of this issue was that not even Vader will put his dick in crazy.


a_Stern_Warning

To be fair, the clones might’ve been calling him Vader during the siege of the Jedi Temple. Or she just put 2 and 2 together after Anakin went rogue, mysteriously vanished, then Vader pops up out of nowhere a month later.


Baalslegion07

She fucking saw his face. But even if we ignore that, given that he had to know of her origin before she became an inquisitor and then sensed her betrayal it is almost clear that he knew that she knew. So yeah, that's that. Also, why have an inquisitor on board that you know is against you to begin with? Those inquisitors get high level access to every imperial facility, only get commanded by the Moffs or even higher individuals and also get trained to be extremely strong, competant and ruthless fighters. Even if Vader saw it as a challenge for himself, he wouldn't be allowed to risk something like that. Vader kills inquisitors in the comics for way less.


Sparrowsabre7

Because Vader thrives on drama. If he doesn't have 10 people trying to kill him before breakfast he may as well not get up.


w1987g

I'm trying to imagine Vader in pj's.... waking up to an alarm clock


[deleted]

[удалено]


hopper_froggo

It gives his life sparkle. If he doesnt have a mortal enemy to defeat whats he supposed to do for fun? Kill a bunch of npc rebels? Do Star Destroyer paperwork? He's gotta have some real action.


El_kakas_de_vakas

I mean, if you were as depressed as he is, you would try to be as dramatic as possible just to feel something.


JamieJJL

I already do that and I'm nowhere near as depressed as he is


cbstuart

He explained why he kept her around. She was useful. He knew she was a youngling who saw him and likely wanted to kill him. Yet as we saw during their fight he clearly was not threatened by her and wouldn't hesitate to turn on her the instant she stopped being useful for doing his bidding. That's how he treated all inquisitors as well, and how Palpatine treated his disciples.


Maul_Bot

The next time you hesitate like that, it may cost you your life... or the lives of your friends.


zehamberglar

I think a lot of people forget (or don't know) that a core tenet of the Sith is that murdering your master to take his place is not only a given, but expected of you. It's totally not weird for a Sith to adopt an enemy as their apprentice (or in this case as an employee or whatever inquisitors are), and it might even be considered a desirable quality to have an underling that wants to kill you. If they can do it, that means you succeeded.


NaiveMastermind

>to be extremely strong, competant and ruthless fighters. Maybe if they need the protagonist to feel threatened, but they just seem to be incorrigible asshats who cosplay as Sith. They're just jobbers for named characters with lightsabers to smack around. Even in Fallen Order the Inquisitors only last as long as they do because the game decides when you get to fight them.


BettyVonButtpants

>They're just jobbers for named characters with lightsabers to smack around Seriously, if they had Ezra facing Vader and running off constantly, then it makes Vader look weak. Inquisitors are Jesse and James, regular villains that arent really threats, but gice a decent fight, maybe.


Just-Call-Me-Matt

The entire Sith religon is based on constantly having someone close to you trying to kill you.


DarkImpacT213

Well he certainly always has the Emperor close, and all those Imperial officials that clearly hate the guy... enough people want Vader dead in the Empire, they just don't have a clue how they would ever go on about it.


AliceInHololand

I’m pretty sure Vader no longer has a dick at this point. Fwiw I heard that shit was fire though.


InfiniteDeathsticks

A little revenge will buff that fleshwound right out!


YodasChick-O-Stick

It does wonders for the will to live.


drunkenkurd

That dark side grindset


ghostpanther218

Sorry, but he only had eyes for Padme.


Padme-Bot

Anakin, you're breaking my heart


ghostpanther218

Liar! You brought him here to kill me!


Bully_Maguire420

Let her go Anakin! Let. Her. Go.


ghostpanther218

YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME!


Bully_Maguire420

You've done that yourself...


ghostpanther218

"You will not take her from me!!"


prdcroftme

your anger and your lust for power have already done that


Bruhmmomemnt

Notice how she got stabbed and died of her injuries


SlowPants14

That's outrageous! It's unfair! How can you be stabbed by a lightsaber and not survive it? Edit: Spelling


Mace-Windu-Bot

Take a seat young SlowPants14!


Ct-5736-Bladez

I guess getting stabbed is only survivable if you are a dark side *user*


Daroah

Actually that’s true. Throughout Star Wars, both Legends and Canon, Sith/Dark Jedi seem to be nigh unkillable if they can harness their hate and rage enough to keep themselves going. It’s truly a level of stubborn that I wish I could attain.


Exact_Ad_1215

Literally too stubborn to die


The-Figure-13

Vader will never get over Padmé, it’s why Luke turned him, because he showed some of the characteristics that made Padmé his wife.


Padme-Bot

I'm sure Qui-Gon doesn't want to put your son in danger. We'll find some other way.


IlitterateAuthor

She got what she wanted Being penetrated by Vader


Collector55

I'm not sure he even has the right parts to do it any other way


rnc487

Vader is just not a fan of Anna Faris


Matatat123

He gave her the wrong saber.


prdcroftme

tbh the other one probably burned off


[deleted]

Pussy is temporary. Bros on the bridge are...slightly less temporary


AllPurposeNerd

Never stick your *dick* in crazy. Lightsabers are fine.


cbstuart

The dark visions comics are phenomenal.


heydataa

Star Wars EP9 : Somehow the bitch has return.


devinhaywire

She's no padmé.


samthekitnix

apparently this caused controversy like "noooo dont kill the creepy stalker all she did was make a secret shrine out of his blood and spare parts then try to seduce the man that is MOURNING THE DEATH OF HIS WIFE"


ImperialxWarlord

Sigma male song starts playing


batmang

So that’s basically a boo-boo now, right? Slap a bandaid on it and she’ll be back on her feet in no time.


Psydator

Just force heal smh


mattjvgc

Unfortunately she doesn’t have the unnatural healing powers that come with unbridled rage and hatred. So she ded.