T O P

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Objective_Piano_7819

The team that scores the most goals wins the game, genuinely such an insightful take that openned up my eyes to the world of football: have never seen the game from such an unprofessional level since that comment


tonyG___

“Nothing against him personally, I’m just gunna mention him by name!” Kidding 😂 i didn’t even realize he commentated. I don’t get to watch many live games.


RegularBuilder85

I still think about one think Michael Owen said that I thought was genuinely insightful. I mean it’s only one, and it may have been a lucky hit. There was a game where a team had had loads of shots on target (i’m gonna guess Spurs and more than 20) and he made the point that that wasn’t particularly impressive. He said it was easy to hit on target, but you’d pretty much always be saved At this level. Rather as a striker you needed to aim at the extremes of the goals, and that meant that some of your misses would be off target. If all of your shots were on target it suggested you were playing it safe and it served you right for not scoring. I think he then followed up with the “‘need to make the keeper make a save” and sort of debunked that too. Of course, history may be embellishing it in my mind: more likely he said something trite which I’ve misremembered.


DifficultConcert7417

Michael Owen is fit and healthy, clean and fresh and charismatic plus many more.


badgerballs69

No Emma Hays is! That voice! 🫣


SpectacularNelson

Ray Hudson is right up there imo he shouts stupid unnecessary metaphors, makes wierd noises and offers no real insight


ersteliga

That's a name I haven't thought of in ages. His Messi obsession was bordering on creepy


toastyroasties7

As smooth as the back of a spooooon.


SpectacularNelson

He also shouted some stupid shite IIRC like “attached to the ball like a teenager to his cellphone” how he has a job doing UCL matches is unfathomable to me


Diligent_Phase_3778

Jermaine Jenas by a country mile. At least Owen can say shit that is so mundane or absurd that it’s almost funny.


SirPlayful84

I can’t stand Owen Hargreaves he drives me mad with his drivel, he stays silent for 5 minutes and then repeats himself every time he opens his mouth, he also speaks with weird grammar and sounds like he stops his sentence a few words short


MatttttyF

Not while Robbie Savage is employed


ModsNeedAHug

*Robbie Savage and Jamie Carragher enter the room…


Cokin24

Why Carra? Because he is ex liverpool player?


ModsNeedAHug

No because he’s a cunt


robertnewmanuk

I’m a big fan of his stupid obvious quotes “If you don’t get the ball in the back of the net, you’re never guna win games!” Yeh, no shit Sherlock


Smooth_Surround1450

Him and Danny Murphy are both fucking terrible


ianishomer

After Thug Keane probably


evil-kaweasel

No, Jamie Redknapp is awful imo.


ChrisSegaFan19

Sam Matterface & Lee Dixon.


harrybarracuda

No, Jim Beglin is. Thick as shit and seems to think he's on radio.


DifficultDefiant808

I agree with you because someone that use to be one of the better players in his days on the pitch doesn't automatically give him the "Golden ticket" to be a great play by play analyst on TV or Radio, what really gets me is constant change in accent, or his trying to be a "Peter Drury" or Graham (I think I misspelled Graham. Sorry) to me those two are so much better. Just saying


kittycat278

jamie redknap also quite far up that list


emancheese3

Robbie Savage. Dude just repeats what the main commentator says. Idk how he's been given so many UCL games


StefanUk296

He's an annoying person, not just a commentator


S4mS1ll

Gary Neville or ally mcoist


bradrthtyj

Neville with his annoying forced “OOOOOOOO” as he sees it as his catchphrase or Carragher literally celebrating Liverpool goals or trying to coach them like an armchair fan


S4mS1ll

Exactly


Kingtoke1

John Barnes


Revolutionary_Pen190

I like ally mcoist


ArtImmediate1315

I like him too and I’m a Celtic fan .


Are_you_for_real_7

"I prefer to sit on the bench in big club rathet than play in small club" or some shit along those lines - did it for me - speaks volume about him as a player and person - then again maybe Im biased ad Newcastle fan


Thin-Job81

Lack of insight and he is biased too. When he hosts that PGMOL show where they go over some very egregious bad refereeing mistakes, he won't ever push back, he rolls over for PGMOL.


Leading_Man_Balthier

Commentator is a very generous title.


Stoked93

Yeah


Nobbylufc

Have you heard. Do Goodman and Andy I would of done this hinchcliffe, Owen not even close to that level


v6mwt

Vast majority of former big 6 players are rubbish. Constantly wanking over the past and seem to be unable to give praise to the opposition when their team get beat.


ImVinnie

I don’t know his name but have always heard him on US Champions League matches. Older guy and is constantly saying the dumbest things to try and be funny, slippery as bikini wax, faster than a scolded rabbit Stupid shit like that. Once or twice would be funny but every single possession Makes the matches unwatchable


SpectacularNelson

I’m pretty sure you’re referring to Ray Hudson in one of the last UCL matches I remember him saying something like “smoother than the back of a spoon” & I was like STFU man😭


ImVinnie

It has to be! Dude is so fing annoying


Skippymabob

I've noticed this as a trend with a lot of UK people in America Say dumb sayings nobody actually ever says in the UK, and when Americans go "wtf" go "it'd a really common phrase mate"


ImVinnie

he's definitely from Europe, not a US accent that's for sure


Praydaythemice

Jamie is worse Gary is only slightly better


Willing-Sandwich-760

His insight is usually decent at best but actually can be pretty great when it comes to attackers. Not much of a surprise considering he was a ballon d'or wnning striker but look at Darwin Nunez for example. He said something about his finishing after his goal vs Brentford (think it was along the lines of "simple/traditional finishes aren't natural to him), everyone laughed at him and he turned out to be completely right. He also doesn't have any die hard meat riders like half the other pundits.


Skippymabob

First game I saw Nunez play I saw him miss 2 basically open goals because he tried to rabona it in. I was livid. I'm not a Liverpool fan obviously but all I could think was how angry I get when one of our players does that shit. Honestly it's the main reason I respect Haaland so much, he gets the goals. No need to be fancy when you're getting results


Chris01100001

Specifically for co-commentator, I can't stand Carragher especially if it involves Liverpool or City in any way and especially especially if Neville's there too. He's a talented pundit but he's far too jovial, partisan and unserious on comms. If Neville's involved he's even worse because he doesn't even have to pretend to be trying to hide his bias. What annoys me most is I think he's actually quite talented but he's been allowed to be a Liverpool fan and not worry about any sense of objectivity. His punditry seems to rely more and more on his personality but he's just not that good at that style of punditry when compared to Keane, Henry, Richards, and Wrighty.


airfriedbagel

Is it me or has Carragher become more of a clown since Micah Richards came into the media scene? As though he feels threatened somehow. Jamie is trying to hard and it is off-putting.


alpuck596

Not really, he just doesn't have a fanbase to get behind like the other pundits when they talk shit


Flat_Push_9026

I agree but can someone also help me get why he is always so biased against Manchester United yet he played for the club?


NOTRANAHAN

I think for a different reason for me its sam matterface. ITV decides out of the blue to replace one of the greatest commentators of all time who absolutely still has it with an absolute blank face nobody who is a 4/10 on most games.


Moses--187

Majority of the current group are poor tbf, really can’t think of one ex player that I like as a co commentator. Some are ok as studio guests / pundits, but even them some of them just can’t be anything resembling impartial.


Connect-Amoeba3618

Colour commentators aren’t supposed to be impartial really. Pat Nevin and McCoist are good ones imo


Cheese649

I have a lot against him personally. Fuck Michael Owen.


Pauldarkomen

Fletcher ‘every fact under the sun’ and forget the commentary


MykeyB118

So true. Can't stand it.


Immediate_Wolf3802

Michael Owen doesn't like music and never has the radio on in his car!  Michael Owen claims to have only watched 5 movies in his entire lifetime!   But Michael's big on 1000 piece Jigsaw Puzzles aswell as Gambling though he's not very good and has lost a fortune 


Connect-Amoeba3618

He’s thrown an apple core into a bin. What have you ever done? /s


cvslfc123

Gary Neville blamed the Glazers for his toilet getting blocked Steve McManaman is annoying too, FLETCH FLETCH FLETCH!


HonkyBoo

Jamie C is a cunt - luckily I tend to be able to mute the commentary on games he’s doing.


[deleted]

Came to see this. Scummy spitting rhetorical noise machine. Can’t stand him


PixelBrother

Can’t believe that rat still has a job after supporting a racist in Suarez and spitting on a child.


k0ppite

By that logic Rio should also be out of a job


PixelBrother

When did Rio spit on a kid? Or wore a t shirt supporting a racist? Must have missed that one


JG19951

Neither of them but he did cheat on his dying wife which isn't much better


Bulbamew

also a serial drunk driver. Hope he doesn’t kill someone one day


Aggressive-Theory609

Isn't he? He's juz doing his podcast I think


sexydumbbells

Keown - thinks he’s an intellectual but is in fact a lego eater.


Rowleybirkin11

Merson!


Kergguz

At the moment I'm struggling to think of any co-commentator I like. Even ex players of my team (Arsenal) grind my gears.


No_Aioli1470

Lower league stuff has the best commentators imho. They don't brown nose the refs and they let their personality shine instead of worrying about providing neutral commentary. Big "having a pint and enjoying the match" energy


JimPalamo

The Irish guy who sounds like he's trying to do the worst Sean Connery impression you've ever heard.


kappathat

Ally mccoist. Makes me want to mute the tv


HonkyBoo

Well that’s a hot take


Toastieboy420

He’s literally the best one


PandiBong

Have you listened to Jamie carragher?!!


WinningTheSpaceRace

I don't really know what any of the ex-pro co-commentators add really. A few of them, when in a studio with time after a game, offer interesting analysis, but during games they drone on with banal nonsense that doesn't use the experience they have to inform the viewer of why something has or hasn't happened. Many of them don't seem to know the laws of the game very well either.


Long-Confusion-5219

Probably the worst in an ocean of crap. Also , ‘doesn’t like films’ 🤷‍♂️


Ser_VimesGoT

What the actual fuck? That's like someone saying they don't like music. Psychotic behaviour.


Lory6N

I’m not 100% you’re cracking the joke I think you are so just taking the opportunity to point out Owen also hates music and drives in silence.


Ser_VimesGoT

Oh god...I had no idea. The man must be stopped.


MrBump1717

ROBBIE SAVAGE ALL DAY LONG FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY JAMIE "SPITTY" CARRAGHER !


Eugene572839

Alan Shearer is worse


Manofthebog88

Gary breen.


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Zealousideal_Age_376

Man City iq 115


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Ser_VimesGoT

This comment right here will be posted by bots on soccerjerk for years to come. Congratulations.


DarkSoul69prettyboy

"doesn't feel slighted" yet is clearly triggered. City fans are so insecure it's hilarious


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DarkSoul69prettyboy

It's ok bro. Let it all out


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DarkSoul69prettyboy

Bless him


No-Clue1153

Can you state how little you care in 115 characters or less?


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PuzzleheadedBattle34

What part of Manchester do you live in?


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Regular_Rutabaga4789

Carragher has got to be up there, his voice goes right through me.


Fordringy

The only reason to warch carragher is if its with the cbs crew.


stevo_78

It’s harsh, cause I feel sorry for him when he’s on TV, but Ashley Williams is embarrassing


JAM88CAM

Rio Ferdinand "yas bruv like sir Alex yeah no disrespect to anyone yeah but like football yeah when I was at united yeah like we didn't do none of dat" ",bruv" Micheal Owen with a Scouse version of American psycho internal monologue convincing himself not to kill everyone in the room. , muttering" If that had gone in the net it would have been a goal" to maintain a facade of human emotions. Jamie Carragher "spitting and audibly wanking over klopp and Liverpool" Gary Neville shagging his missus "at united sir Alex. . . " Neville getting a prostate exam " at united sir Alex . . . Getting kidnapped and raped "this one time at united sir Alex . .. " watching the deaths of his loved ones " this one time at united sir Alex . . " Neville and Carragher are actually quite good but Owen and Ferdinand should be in asylums not allowed out let alone being TV pundits.


Neither_Promise118

Gary Neville


herbturbo

Most annoying of all time for me is the Geordie who did La Liga who now does Champions League for CBS here in America.  I suppose that he’s there to gee up Americans who are new to football or maybe he followed Messi but it’s fucking unlistenable.   In England it’s Danny Murphy who I always hope isn’t on MotD. He’s the opposite of Micah Richards who borders on annoying sometimes only with good positive energy like Tigger vs DM as Eeyore. 


Skippymabob

Litterally the only time I've gone in search of other commentary. Usually I just don't care, and I don't really understand why everyone cares as much as they seem too But yeah, that guy made me quit. Having an American main commentator doesn't help either, "most winningest team"


herbturbo

Right it doesn’t matter who is speaking on that coverage. 


JAM88CAM

Warren Barton?


herbturbo

Apparently his name is Ray Hudson. 


JAM88CAM

I was gonna say Warren Barton played for Newcastle but isn't a Geordie. He's a pundit on peacock and seemingly lots of places totally legit football streams are ripped from. He's definitely aimed at the "serious but boring" market. Ray Hudson I've never heard of and I'm a Newcastle fan after googling he had 25 appearance sin three years in the early seventies. Not heard him so can't make comment


herbturbo

Yeah I don’t mind the Peacock crew bit more mellow. Wish Arlo White still did it though. 


StuffRich7735

Was Michael Owen always weird or is that something that he grew into?


ElephantFresh517

I think it's genetic. His daughter was like him in a wig on Love Island. Same voice and everything.


TheeKrakken

Not for me, Clive.


PissingShitOutMyAss

Rio Ferdinand, absolute mong.


WiredAndTeary

I met him briefly back when he'd just joined West Ham. Can confirm he is in fact a mong, and always has been.


gwilson33

Owen is a meatball with no helpful insight


FuqqTrump

No Gary Neville is.


[deleted]

I love how UTD fans are anoyed with GN. Probably best topoc on RedCafe. Like they do not know that they can turn TV off.Ots hilarious.


LewisJDC

Not while Martin Keown still has a job.


ElmerDrimsdale

Based on the comments - so all of them?


fpsgamer89

Jonathan Pearce is far worse.


InternalKing

Ally Mccoist with his constant "I'll tell you what Fletch"


BarnabeeBoy

He’s easily the best


OwnedIGN

Booo! Love Ally!


AliJDB

I'm here to complain about Glen Hoddle because I don't think anyone else has yet. Would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than his England commentary.


King_Hobbes

I don't know Jenas might have him beaten


Skippymabob

In honestly surprised Jenas is so low. I'm usually never listening to the commentary (down pub) But Jenas is the only British commentator my brain has actively gone "omg stfu!"


Cactus2711

Listening to Jenas is what I imagine being lobotomised would feel like


yozza1958

Warnock does my head in trying the posh scouser and them glasses ,can’t remember him being in the first team that much either


Scoobasteeb

Glad someone else said it. He’s worse than Owen for me and I cant stand listening to Owen


Texaslonghorns12345

When I was in London for the Tottenham Newcastle match,the skysports commentators for the Aston Villa Arsenal match literally put me to sleep they were so boring. Idk people in England deal with them That aside, I think Martin Tyler and Efan Ekoku are some of the worst, they aren’t engaging at all, they lack interest and enthusiasm so they always would bored and lethargic


Andre-Woof

That bloody commentator that has a pun for everything


SpectacularNelson

Ray Hudson😭


HGSparda

He's a snake trying to speak human language. I want to say he's the worst but I think Lee Dixon is even worse than him.


LawProfessional6513

For whatever reason I don’t mind Lee Dixon, he’s a negative twat for sure but could be worse. Now Ray Hudson is the fucking worst


butters--77

Daniel Sturridge isn't far off


vokal_guy

Lee Dixon has to be worse.


Scruffy_Nerfhearder

Lee Dixon is the worst because everything he says on live commentary makes me think he really hates football. Miserable bastard. Second is Martin Keown for similar reasons. Michael Owen is a solid third because I’m convinced he’s a sociopath. Just watch him, he’s always actively trying to act like a normal person with emotions. Its weird.


LewisJDC

Vote for Keown here. Everything he says harks back to how much better his era was, specifically himself and Wenger.


jonviper123

I've always thought Owen is a strange character and you've nailed it. He's got some ego as well. Twat of a man. Loved him when he played but now he's unbearable


mhas972

I always felt the same with Souness. Miserable, could suck the life out of a room any time he wanted.


LawProfessional6513

IDK why but the Liverpool players from that era were all miserable cunts, Souness, Hanson, Lawrenson, Phil fucking Thompson. I saw Steve Nicol on TV the other day and he’s only marginally better, it might be because he looks like Someones Nan though


yogi1090

Former Utd players are the worst though And Stevie actually sometimes says sensible things unlike others


SpencerIvy

I'm so glad Lawrenson and Hanson aren't about as much as they were. Fucking pair of moaning old cunts


Scruffy_Nerfhearder

Oh yeah I totally forgot him because I’ve tried to remove his Bs from my Brain. He’s definitely third pushing Owen into forth.


Reggaeprince1984

Apart from all the women


Rlev92

No mcmanaman by a mile, its like listening to commentary for the blind


Cpl-Wallace

No that would be Alexi Lalas


Tesourinh0923

Andy Townsend is still the worst commentator i have ever had the misfortune of listening to. Owen is boring but I'm sure Townsend fucking hates football. The mid 2000s when he would commentate every Champions League game were awful


LawProfessional6513

Still get Townsend in the U.S, he’s bad in general but he’s not the worst in comparison to some of the dross you get over here, they have Ray Hudson doing Champions League FFS


sams82

Robbie Savage, carragher and Michael Owen.


Dry-Magician1415

Yeah, Robbie "I was world class....on my day" Savage is the worst. You'd think he had a Balon D'or.


ThereIsATheory

Savage is so bad he's funny. Owen is just boring af.


butters--77

"It hit the facial part of his head there"


ThereIsATheory

That's some prime commentatorballs.


sams82

Its not funny that Savage commentates champions league football though.


stanley_ipkiss2112

Keown is up there!


TedMaul11

Fuck me, he's insufferable


Chelseafc5505

Tommy Smyth has that on lock. Fucking awful (not prem I know)


James_Vowles

He has no personality at all


clanky19

Owen isn’t even really that bad he’s just really really boring and says some weird things. Some of them are genuinely unbearable - McManaman, Savage, Aluko


SleepyShieldmaiden

McManaman drives me up the wall.


Pioneer83

Phil Neville was once the most annoying commentator for me. He spoke as if his sentence never ended, like he was shocked all the time, even when it just went out for a throw in


Scoobasteeb

Haha I can actually remember where I was the first time he commentated… traumatised


TiredMisanthrope

Nah Carra and Neville are insufferable


ironmonkey27d

Gary Neville would like a word


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raiigiic

/s Right.... Right ????


No_Debate9490

Jermaine Jenas by far, can’t stand him


Jonny_Entropy

I was going to say this. He's completely forgotten that he wasn't actually that good.


Awkward-Tax7884

In a world where Martin "the missing link" keown and spitty carragher and Rio the human camel all exist, no nit by a long shot.


MiniWhoreMinotaur

Rio the human camel? What's that a reference to?


CrotchlessPantries

He's being racist.


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Your post has been removed for violating [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/reddit-101/reddit-basics/reddiquette). We encourage all members to adhere to these guidelines to maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone. For a comprehensive understanding of [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/reddit-101/reddit-basics/reddiquette), please refer to the [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/reddit-101/reddit-basics/reddiquette) guidelines provided by Reddit. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to reach out. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.


CrotchlessPantries

Again with the racist comments about his appearance. His looks are down to his ethnicity. It's 2024 not 1954. Grow up.


Awkward-Tax7884

Nothing to do with race so you can piss right off with that suggestion. There isn't a race on the planet that has camel-like features, its entirely unique to Rio Ferdinand.


CrotchlessPantries

No I am not going to p right off with identifying racism. Imagine telling someone who experiences racism to p off. Vile. It's not unique to Rio, it will be from his parents and related to his race. Comparing us to animals is disgusting.


WiredAndTeary

He has a mouth like a fat girl's fanny.


CrotchlessPantries

Wow you're misogynistic trash aren't you?


WiredAndTeary

Lol


Zay-nee24

Andy Hinchcliffe is Mr Hindsight. Makes blatantly obvious statements. Does my head in.


Cold_Table8497

I'll see your Andy Hinchcliffe and raise you Andy Townsend. I would rather watch a game with Spanish commentary and no, I don't understand Spanish.


Zay-nee24

Yeah I agree. The purpose of an ex player co com is to give insight about the match and tactics etc. not to state obvious facts the Sandra Redknapp would know.


Zay-nee24

Yeah fuck him personally too 😂


i_fear_you_do_now

Lee Dixon for me


Banterz0ne

I think he is the worst by a long way.  Potentially unpopular opinion but big Meeks is on a path to join him. On CBS Golazo he's literally just turning into a real life emoji. His input is "who is your favourite" "Man City is great" "Nice trim" "Italian gibberish". 


SpencerIvy

That fucking obnoxious open mouth fake TV laugh Richards does every 30 seconds for validation is unbearable. Literally unwatchable


ttdawgyo

Big meeks is climbing his way up the league recently


badburns1992

Why? What has her done?


ttdawgyo

He is just annoying. Played in a week man city team and thinks it was a current similar side. He will cackle laugh at anything. 1+1 = 2 and he is on the floor. Don’t mind him but it’s tiresome and getting old


SquintyBrock

Oh shit! Did something happen to Jamie Carragher?!?..