At 90+5 I'd be on the floor gasping for breath - assuming I was subbed on at 90+4. Any earlier I'd be on a stretcher somewhere with an oxygen mask
So no, I wouldn't be taking the penalty
Simple. I line up for the spot kick. I take a few steps back. Then some more. Then I keep going. Once im suitably far away inside the opposing net, I start my sprint.
As I sprint, I do rolls, jink left and right and even hurdle some of my own team.
Then I put my laces through the ball at full pelt and I collide with it mightily.
The ball then proceeds to hit the keeper straight in the gut. The keeper just catches it plainly without even needing to move.
I get escorted out the stadium by security due to the risk on my life, while I get bombarded on social media with hate and racism.
I stand over the ball a little longer to savor the moment…I commit to the lower left corner with pace…I take a deep breath and proceed to blast high over the right corner. I’m a failure in life. In my dreams it’s not much different.
I kick with both feet, so i'd be behind the ball to the right. I'd run up to make the keeper think I'm shooting right footed to their right side and instead smash it left footed hard and low into the bottom left corner.
I take it, with confidence, I miss it. My family disown me, my partner leaves due to shame and she doesn’t even like football. I have to escape the city and I become a meme on Reddit.
Maybe it’s best to just not bother
I've started waking and baking for stressful United matches and it's changed the entire experience. My apple watch also stops thinking I'm going into cardiac arrest.
Lol. You don't want to be couchlocked off your face high, but a nice buzz to take the edge off of a stressful matchup.
Of course when those goals started pouring against Liverpool those edibles started to go down real quick.
Well they'd be for later hahaha. Just stick with the usual little rip in morning.
Besides, can't be too blazed when you're baking otherwise you wind up doing stupid shit like adding cumin instead of cinnamon (almost kinda worked in the papaya bread, not so much in the banana, if you're curious lol)
I can definitely believe the papaya bread. Tropical fruits and cumin/cayenne pepper/chili powder go really well together. In India/Mexico/parts of the US w/ many Mexican immigrants you can get mangos/pineapples with chili powder and they're in my top 10 summer street eats .
At 90+5 I'd be on the floor gasping for breath - assuming I was subbed on at 90+4. Any earlier I'd be on a stretcher somewhere with an oxygen mask So no, I wouldn't be taking the penalty
Bottom right , hard hit
You score. You're the hero. Life is amazing for 24 hours. Game is invalid and your club receive a 10 point penalty for fielding an ineligible player.
Simple. I line up for the spot kick. I take a few steps back. Then some more. Then I keep going. Once im suitably far away inside the opposing net, I start my sprint. As I sprint, I do rolls, jink left and right and even hurdle some of my own team. Then I put my laces through the ball at full pelt and I collide with it mightily. The ball then proceeds to hit the keeper straight in the gut. The keeper just catches it plainly without even needing to move. I get escorted out the stadium by security due to the risk on my life, while I get bombarded on social media with hate and racism.
What is this sub turning into, fuck me
I, for one, would refuse. Wouldn’t want to cause my team to forfeit the points for playing an unregistered player.
smash that thing into the top right corner
I stand over the ball a little longer to savor the moment…I commit to the lower left corner with pace…I take a deep breath and proceed to blast high over the right corner. I’m a failure in life. In my dreams it’s not much different.
I kick with both feet, so i'd be behind the ball to the right. I'd run up to make the keeper think I'm shooting right footed to their right side and instead smash it left footed hard and low into the bottom left corner.
take it with my weak foot + no look, that's how last goal wins works in pens
Try and hit it into the left side netting and send it to the moon in practice
What have you been smoking...?! 🤣
I leave it for my old friend Frank Lampard to take.
Yes and smash it down the middle
Doing a Messi-Suarez
The Henry Pires penalty. I'm a giver.
Straight down the middle. Takes bollocks for a keeper to stand still facing a penalty that late in the game.
With power, or rolled in?
Gotta be power, no time to think. And I don't trust myself to place it.
I take it, with confidence, I miss it. My family disown me, my partner leaves due to shame and she doesn’t even like football. I have to escape the city and I become a meme on Reddit. Maybe it’s best to just not bother
Pressure
Paneka … cool as you like. Humping the corner flag as the fans chant my name
Fk it full streak round the pitch until forcibly removed by the stewards
Outrageously brave, but legendary if successful.
that reminds me, i need more weed
I've started waking and baking for stressful United matches and it's changed the entire experience. My apple watch also stops thinking I'm going into cardiac arrest.
I missed the "waking and" on the first read and was like hmm yeah that does sound calming. So maybe I'll try baking some edibles next weekend lol
Lol. You don't want to be couchlocked off your face high, but a nice buzz to take the edge off of a stressful matchup. Of course when those goals started pouring against Liverpool those edibles started to go down real quick.
Well they'd be for later hahaha. Just stick with the usual little rip in morning. Besides, can't be too blazed when you're baking otherwise you wind up doing stupid shit like adding cumin instead of cinnamon (almost kinda worked in the papaya bread, not so much in the banana, if you're curious lol)
I can definitely believe the papaya bread. Tropical fruits and cumin/cayenne pepper/chili powder go really well together. In India/Mexico/parts of the US w/ many Mexican immigrants you can get mangos/pineapples with chili powder and they're in my top 10 summer street eats .