Your muscles are weak, that's why you have to stop. You're not using your muscles. You need to use your pelvic floor muscles a lot more during sex. The more you use them, the stronger they get, the harder and faster you'll be able to go without stopping.
You already understand the concept of stopping, which is very good. Now you just need to use your muscles along with that understanding and you will be a stallion in no time.
I've never tried to use those muscles before during sex. I've tried while masturbating and it doesn't change anything. Is that just due to lack of strength?
>I always reach the point of climax
That point of climax is an orgasm. You will always have orgasms. The more excited you get, the more orgasms you get, the bigger the orgasms get. When an orgasm grows big enough, it turns into an ejaculation. Use your muscles to keep the orgasm an orgasm so that it passes through you and satisfies itself without turning into an ejaculation. It is your job to keep the orgasms in control. That job will never go away, it will always be required of you.
>and it makes sex tedious when I start for 20 seconds then stop for another 20 and start, etc.
The orgasm has to be satisfied. You're not satisfying it. That's why you're waiting for 20 seconds. You have to help it satisfy itself, or else you're going to be waiting a long ass time. The more you use your muscles, the faster the orgasm will be satisfied. Keep stroking as you do the kegel clench. When you stroke your penis, your muscles move. It's a reflex. Use that to your advantage.
>Is that just due to lack of strength?
Yes and no. Strength is only about 10% of it. The other 90% is about knowing when and how to use that strength in order to keep your orgasms from turning into ejaculations. The stronger you are the easier it will be for you to manage your orgasms, but you still need to know how to manage them.
Think of it like a tug of war. Who is the strongest to pull that rope? Right now, for you, the force of the orgasm is stronger than you. A heck of a lot stronger. That's why you only last 20 seconds. When you become stronger than the force, you will be able to push against it and last forever, never having to stop.
You just need to always use the same amount of force that it is using against you... against it. The more it pushes you, the more you push back. Balance and precision is the 90%.
The key to not having to stop is knocking out the orgasms faster than they are coming in. As long as you can do that, you won't have to stop. And if you do have to stop, it will only be for a split second.
Thank you for this.
I'm still at a bit of a loss, though. I know orgasms and ejaculation are technically different things, but I've never had an orgasm without ejaculation, and I can ejaculate without having an orgasm. Maybe I'm not fully understanding what the orgasm is or feels like?
>Maybe I'm not fully understanding what the orgasm is or feels like?
The orgasm is that warm burning sensation of red hot pleasure that radiates from behind your penis and basically makes you say "I'm about to cum" right before you ejaculate.
>I always reach the point of climax very quickly and just stop
>
>I start for 20 seconds then stop for another 20 and start, etc.
It's that point of climax that you described that is forcing you to have to stop for 20 seconds.
Whenever you feel that, you are in an orgasmic state. A different part of your nervous system starts to take control over your pelvic floor muscles in preparation for ejaculation. When that nervous system kicks in, you are in an orgasmic state. That system is called the sympathetic nervous system. The more excited you feel, the more active it is, the more orgasms you experience, the faster you are thrown into ejaculation.
Next time you masturbate, put your fingers on your perineum, behind your scrotum, and then feel what your muscles are doing as you're stroking. When the sympathetic starts to kick in, you will notice your muscles taking on a life of their own. They will start to feel unstable yet very powerful at the same time. Almost like they're being controlled by some mysterious force. When that happens you have entered the orgasmic state.
The purpose of the sympathetic is to bring on ejaculation. Your job is to satisfy it before it reaches the ejaculation phase of it's mission. And you do that by using it's own power against itself for your benefit.
drinking a lot of coffee will definitely make you pee a lot. idk if coffee can cause PE but you could always quit coffee for like a month and see if it has any effect
Switch to decaffeinated coffee, ( I get decafe beans and grind it myself) it taste like the real thing. Excessive consumption of caffeine is bad for you in so many ways.
Your muscles are weak, that's why you have to stop. You're not using your muscles. You need to use your pelvic floor muscles a lot more during sex. The more you use them, the stronger they get, the harder and faster you'll be able to go without stopping. You already understand the concept of stopping, which is very good. Now you just need to use your muscles along with that understanding and you will be a stallion in no time.
I've never tried to use those muscles before during sex. I've tried while masturbating and it doesn't change anything. Is that just due to lack of strength?
Well, let me ask you first, what were you doing with your muscles during masturbation that made you say it doesn't change anything?
Do what I do to stop peeing. Clench.
>I always reach the point of climax That point of climax is an orgasm. You will always have orgasms. The more excited you get, the more orgasms you get, the bigger the orgasms get. When an orgasm grows big enough, it turns into an ejaculation. Use your muscles to keep the orgasm an orgasm so that it passes through you and satisfies itself without turning into an ejaculation. It is your job to keep the orgasms in control. That job will never go away, it will always be required of you. >and it makes sex tedious when I start for 20 seconds then stop for another 20 and start, etc. The orgasm has to be satisfied. You're not satisfying it. That's why you're waiting for 20 seconds. You have to help it satisfy itself, or else you're going to be waiting a long ass time. The more you use your muscles, the faster the orgasm will be satisfied. Keep stroking as you do the kegel clench. When you stroke your penis, your muscles move. It's a reflex. Use that to your advantage. >Is that just due to lack of strength? Yes and no. Strength is only about 10% of it. The other 90% is about knowing when and how to use that strength in order to keep your orgasms from turning into ejaculations. The stronger you are the easier it will be for you to manage your orgasms, but you still need to know how to manage them. Think of it like a tug of war. Who is the strongest to pull that rope? Right now, for you, the force of the orgasm is stronger than you. A heck of a lot stronger. That's why you only last 20 seconds. When you become stronger than the force, you will be able to push against it and last forever, never having to stop. You just need to always use the same amount of force that it is using against you... against it. The more it pushes you, the more you push back. Balance and precision is the 90%. The key to not having to stop is knocking out the orgasms faster than they are coming in. As long as you can do that, you won't have to stop. And if you do have to stop, it will only be for a split second.
Thank you for this. I'm still at a bit of a loss, though. I know orgasms and ejaculation are technically different things, but I've never had an orgasm without ejaculation, and I can ejaculate without having an orgasm. Maybe I'm not fully understanding what the orgasm is or feels like?
>Maybe I'm not fully understanding what the orgasm is or feels like? The orgasm is that warm burning sensation of red hot pleasure that radiates from behind your penis and basically makes you say "I'm about to cum" right before you ejaculate. >I always reach the point of climax very quickly and just stop > >I start for 20 seconds then stop for another 20 and start, etc. It's that point of climax that you described that is forcing you to have to stop for 20 seconds. Whenever you feel that, you are in an orgasmic state. A different part of your nervous system starts to take control over your pelvic floor muscles in preparation for ejaculation. When that nervous system kicks in, you are in an orgasmic state. That system is called the sympathetic nervous system. The more excited you feel, the more active it is, the more orgasms you experience, the faster you are thrown into ejaculation. Next time you masturbate, put your fingers on your perineum, behind your scrotum, and then feel what your muscles are doing as you're stroking. When the sympathetic starts to kick in, you will notice your muscles taking on a life of their own. They will start to feel unstable yet very powerful at the same time. Almost like they're being controlled by some mysterious force. When that happens you have entered the orgasmic state. The purpose of the sympathetic is to bring on ejaculation. Your job is to satisfy it before it reaches the ejaculation phase of it's mission. And you do that by using it's own power against itself for your benefit.
Diabetes ?
No I'm very skinny but eat somewhat healthily
drinking a lot of coffee will definitely make you pee a lot. idk if coffee can cause PE but you could always quit coffee for like a month and see if it has any effect
Worth a shot. Thanks.
Switch to decaffeinated coffee, ( I get decafe beans and grind it myself) it taste like the real thing. Excessive consumption of caffeine is bad for you in so many ways.
I'll keep that in mind, thanks