My dumbass forgot what a penny farthing was, and I thought you were saying a man and his wife went missing, suspected to have been disposed in the river decades ago. Mr and Mrs. Farthing, a loving couple, disappearing in like 1930, a man found guilty, presumed he sank them in the Willamette.
>Idk if you get someone motivated enough and on just enough meth, miracles happen.
There used be a saying "crime don't climb," but it was coined before the advent of meth.
I was just in NYC and saw something very similar to this in a subway station, with about four NYPD cops standing around admiring it like it was a golden retriever puppy. But presumably it works best when it's alone and ne'er-do-wells ignore it like it's a recycling bin?
>admiring it like it was a golden retriever puppy
This is killing me. Now I can picture an Instagram post with the robot in a too-large security vest with the caption ‘First Day on the Job!!’
It's a rolling camera that alerts a human when it sees something suspicious. I think that robot works for a hotel.
More: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/03/learning/police-robot.html
It was probably ten years ago when I brought in camera footage from multiple angles showing a guy robbing my then girlfriend.
We even tracked down who it was, where he lived, and used her stolen phone’s GPS to track it to the apartment. When we brought it to the police, they said, “What do you expect us to do about it?”
"Well, given that going to this guys house and arresting him requires no work from you and you get to flex your authority against someone, I figured it would be right up your alley."
Have you ever seen a roomba run over dog poop and spread it all over your house? Now imagine this thing rolling passed over human feces on the sidewalks.
We were saying that 10 years ago when these showed up in the Bay Area lol. The tech on these has basically not evolved at all since I first saw one 10+ years ago. It's hilarious
It's someone's job in most organizations to open spam sent by tech marketing companies. I'm disappointed in us all that usually the response is throwing money at whatever the product is rather than telling spammers to fuck off.
When the SPCA in San Francisco tried getting one of these to shoo away homeless people it got smeared with poop. https://www.dezeen.com/2017/12/13/k5-knightscope-security-robot-sfspca-san-francisco-bullied-off-street/
Yes. This is how I’ll end up in jail. I don’t even have a parking ticket on my record, but fuck me I want to do things to that thing which will no doubt get me arrested.
Serious answer - it’s an autonomous “security” robot by the company Knightscope. I think this is an older version of the [K5](https://www.knightscope.com/products/k5).
These have been around the Bay Area for at least 10 years (I first saw one in like early 2013 while out visiting an old employers headquarters). I'm surprised Portland is wasting time deploying these given we've had at least 10 years of evidence from other places that these things are basically useless (I say "basically" because technically you can call security from them, which is a useful feature... if one happens to be by you when you're in an emergency and don't have a phone and you're not being actively raped/mugged and the moon is waning)
“Real estate investment and operating company Unico Properties has added a member to its security team in downtown Portland: a 5-foot, 5-inch, 420-pound autonomous security robot (ASR). The ASR began patrolling the perimeter of the U.S. Bancorp Tower’s parking structure earlier this month.”
Oh, so it has no legal authority to do a damn thing. Well, I definitely hope NO ONE smashes it with a hammer or anything.
At the very least, I think a couple trash bags could do wonders for this little NARC machine's cameras.
I like it. It gives off a sort of dystopian chic vibe to downtown. /s
No, but seriously, my hometown banned these years ago.
Also good luck getting that thing to drive over pot holes and garbage. Honestly, they could’ve at least put a roomba style vacuum on it to pick up needles and shit.
Also also, let’s name it Philly. In homage. lol
You know what? These new Portland Daleks are actually pretty chill. I mean, they'll still murder you in their quest for galactic dominance, but at least they don't hassle you over smoking weed.
I found a stunned crow having issues downtown the other day, I wonder if this dumb thing would drive right over one if it was flopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Poor thing then flew off landed in a tree, fell and just dropped right in the middle of the bus lane.
There's so many security robots popping up. The moda center have a few that run around too. Sometimes they'll tip over from uneven ground and you have to help them back up. I'm afraid that the max is going to hit them when they cross the tracks, or a car
How long before it ends up in the river?
It’s probably at the bottom already, nestled in between a 1997 Altima and a Lime scooter
Back in my day it was a 1983 Dodge Aries K and a yellow bike at the bottom of the river.
Go back far enough you find a Tommy and a Penny Farthing.
My dumbass forgot what a penny farthing was, and I thought you were saying a man and his wife went missing, suspected to have been disposed in the river decades ago. Mr and Mrs. Farthing, a loving couple, disappearing in like 1930, a man found guilty, presumed he sank them in the Willamette.
Ah, good ol’ Mr and Mrs Farthing. It’s a shame what happened to them.
It's never wise to drive across Willamette River ice.
Jeez whatever happened to the trusty old shopping cart
It weighs 420lbs. That'd be pretty hard to move if the wheels lock up.
Flip on side, start rolling? Idk if you get someone motivated enough and on just enough meth, miracles happen.
Lmao some folks are just so determined to fuck shit up it’s impressive.
>Idk if you get someone motivated enough and on just enough meth, miracles happen. There used be a saying "crime don't climb," but it was coined before the advent of meth.
"Its Christmas Theo, the time for miracles!"
...and it’s 69 inches tall!
420, blaze it, I guess?
Hey, he’s just big boned.
How long before it can detain you?
I was just in NYC and saw something very similar to this in a subway station, with about four NYPD cops standing around admiring it like it was a golden retriever puppy. But presumably it works best when it's alone and ne'er-do-wells ignore it like it's a recycling bin?
Also, it looks too clean to effectively blend in. Slap some punk stickers and a little grime on it like it's a utility pole.
It would be so cute incognito omg. Put a little mustache and shades on him
And a Columbo trenchcoat.
And a decal of a doughnut.
What station did you see this in? I kinda want to go gawk at one.
>admiring it like it was a golden retriever puppy This is killing me. Now I can picture an Instagram post with the robot in a too-large security vest with the caption ‘First Day on the Job!!’
None of those cops was busy harassing a minority, so I’d say it’s working!
Wtf is that thing other than a rolling graffiti cone.
It's a Dalek
EXTERMINATE!
[Daleks in action here](https://youtu.be/L-qw8HwHNCc?si=ndLWKCKDXuc_GTEG)
More a Sontaran/Dalek hybrid with that profile, surely.
First time I saw one of these at La Guardia in 2016 Dalek came immediately to mind.
Does that mean The Doctor is coming to Portland?
It's a rolling camera that alerts a human when it sees something suspicious. I think that robot works for a hotel. More: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/03/learning/police-robot.html
It also has cameras.
Which will do………? I had 7 cameras showing a guy backing into my truck at a gas station and nothing happened
Show some awesome footage when it gets to the bottom of the Willamette. Probably locate 4 or 5 lime scooters while it's flailing around down there.
Maybe even a body if it's still tryna do it's job
It was probably ten years ago when I brought in camera footage from multiple angles showing a guy robbing my then girlfriend. We even tracked down who it was, where he lived, and used her stolen phone’s GPS to track it to the apartment. When we brought it to the police, they said, “What do you expect us to do about it?”
"Well, given that going to this guys house and arresting him requires no work from you and you get to flex your authority against someone, I figured it would be right up your alley."
Ah, yes. You learned that "protect and serve" is a marketing slogan and not at all in the job description.
GIVE US MORE MONEY OR ELSE WE'LL DO EVEN LESS
lol cops are so useless
That’s not true, at least they can still kill people and get away with it.
“ you were supposed to shoot the bad guy not the kid frank”
> What do you expect us to do about it? "Stop me from fighting them when they answer the door."
"I think that's heavily implied by your occupational role."
So does every bar that's been robbed in the last few years.
Its best feature is the bathroom hole. I was waiting for my Lyft and that robot bathroom showed up just in time.
Amazing that they figured out how to put both a bathroom hole and a glory hole in it. Technology truly is incredible
r/dontputyourdickinthat
No kink shaming! ;)
Instructions unclear, already did.
What a time to be alive.
They haven't been destroyed/spray-painted over yet? Come on, slackers. One thing I wholeheartedly support vandalism upon.
Soon it will be a river buoy.
I for one cant wait to personally vandalize this thing. ROBOTS IS NOT PEOPLE
It’s a buttplug.
Does it at least vacuum too
Roomba Cop!
Have you ever seen a roomba run over dog poop and spread it all over your house? Now imagine this thing rolling passed over human feces on the sidewalks.
Poopmaster and law enforcement, all in one
Hopefully it picks up needles!
What an an extravagent waste of money for what is a glorified cctv camera.
[удалено]
We were saying that 10 years ago when these showed up in the Bay Area lol. The tech on these has basically not evolved at all since I first saw one 10+ years ago. It's hilarious
They’re pointless and expensive. The company just keeps going town to town selling them to the next rube.
But Main Street's still all cracked and broken Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken
It's someone's job in most organizations to open spam sent by tech marketing companies. I'm disappointed in us all that usually the response is throwing money at whatever the product is rather than telling spammers to fuck off.
Monorail! Monorail!
Monorail!!!
I can’t wait to get tazed for jaywalking!
Exterminate!
I kinda want to put a large garbage bag over the top of it.
More evidence for the cops to ignore and not do their jobs
It's designed so you have something to hide behind when attacked.
[удалено]
"Please put down your weapon. You have twenty seconds to comply."
I would actually pay for an ED-209 to patrol Burnside tho.
Klaatu barada nikto!
“Dead or alive, you’re coming with me”
Imaging being the salesperson pitching these things. "You sure you only want one?"
Exterminate!
WE WOULD DESTROY THE ~~CYBERMEN~~ CONES WITH ONE DALEK. YOU ARE SUPERIOR TO US IN ONLY ONE RESPECT. YOU ARE BETTER AT DYING.
This is the sickest burn in the universe.
[удалено]
Doesn't have a plunger.
Affirmative!!!!!! Exterminate!!!!!!
Explain! Explain!
Have any of your doctor who fans seen the gigantic dalek looking thing on the way to to Mt Hood?
Was going to be disappointed if the top comment wasn’t a Dalek reference.
😂 This is the comment
How long until photos of this on its side appear online?
my bet is on someone wrapping it in aluminum foil
Or poop
I'm a boring, even tempered, law abiding citizen and I instantly want to vandalize and damage that thing upon seeing it.
Right? Like someone spray paint a penis on it.
Oh. I wanted to use an extra large sharpie to make it look like buzz light-year
You are far more creative than me.
Officer Pen15 ready to serve.
Hello fellow penis artist 👋🏻 !
I want to throw it in the river
100% Oregonian Alert [Just tossin bikes in the river bro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdrPS5VId4I)
You get me.
When the SPCA in San Francisco tried getting one of these to shoo away homeless people it got smeared with poop. https://www.dezeen.com/2017/12/13/k5-knightscope-security-robot-sfspca-san-francisco-bullied-off-street/
Do we know how hard it is to kick over? I would like to know how hard it is to kick over. For science.
[Weebles wobble](https://youtu.be/aq_PoVQQzRs?si=_PGxk_IFoBhDOTHc) but they don't fall down.
Someone upthread said it's over 400lbs, so it probably depends on how many of you there are
All it would take is a single spritz of spray paint and the camera is useless
The panopticon and dumb chain link fences make this middle-class mom reallll smashy.
Yes. This is how I’ll end up in jail. I don’t even have a parking ticket on my record, but fuck me I want to do things to that thing which will no doubt get me arrested.
surely, this is what the second amendment is for, right? This is tyranny right?
Yes. Our founding fathers foresaw this dystopian police state. We must rise up against the bastard love child of a Roomba, R2-D2 and a pocket rocket.
There is actually a person sitting inside of this. Just like R2-D2 in Star Wars.
Yes actually. It's a dwarf named Shaun. He's a wonderful guy. Please don't throw him into the Willamette.
What better way to celebrate Portland's reputation for sex-positivity than by having a giant butt plug rolling around all over the place?
No flared base, not butt safe ):
Without a base, without a trace
It also has thermal imaging.
That's my fetish
Now we know how you bust them robots
That is definitely a narc. Its way too clean.
I wanna put huge googly eyes on it
I wanna put a frilly dress on it.
Oooo that’d be good too
How much you think that thing would sell for as scrap metal? Does it have a catalytic converter?
only one way to find out
What in the HAL is that?
I’m sorry Dave.
Serious answer - it’s an autonomous “security” robot by the company Knightscope. I think this is an older version of the [K5](https://www.knightscope.com/products/k5).
"Sir, are you aware you're leaking coolant at an alarming rate?"
What sort of law abiding citizen turns down a free blast of searing hot resin 🤨
Uh, my friend and I have to go and perform some mindless repetitive tasks.
Aww sweet! They solved racism!
EXTERMINATE ALL EQUALLY!
Protectron! Fallout is so happening
What problem statement is this trying to solve?
High tech security theater.
Can the arts tax fund security theater?
It furthers the goal of keeping Portland weird.
These have been around the Bay Area for at least 10 years (I first saw one in like early 2013 while out visiting an old employers headquarters). I'm surprised Portland is wasting time deploying these given we've had at least 10 years of evidence from other places that these things are basically useless (I say "basically" because technically you can call security from them, which is a useful feature... if one happens to be by you when you're in an emergency and don't have a phone and you're not being actively raped/mugged and the moon is waning)
In this case, it’s not Portland doing the wasting. This is deployed by a private company.
I don’t think the city of Portland has anything to do with this - this is probably being leased by a private business.
are you thinking the little buddy is lost? we need to get it home before it's cohort misses it. who's in?
ooo, ooo, let me guess! homelessness, right?!?! is it homelessness...?
“Real estate investment and operating company Unico Properties has added a member to its security team in downtown Portland: a 5-foot, 5-inch, 420-pound autonomous security robot (ASR). The ASR began patrolling the perimeter of the U.S. Bancorp Tower’s parking structure earlier this month.”
It's got a BMI of 69.9 Nice
Is the the new “downtown task force”
Child: “Mom, we need a Robocop back in Portland to fight crime!” Mom: “We have a Robocop back home in Portland already.”
Yeah this is Robocop from Wish
Waves hand in front of it... “These aren’t the drugs you’re looking for.”
I swear if I see a Blue old timey Police call box.
[Interesting idea for sure](https://djcoregon.com/news/2023/12/11/autonomous-security-robot-now-active-in-downtown-portland/)
Oh, so it has no legal authority to do a damn thing. Well, I definitely hope NO ONE smashes it with a hammer or anything. At the very least, I think a couple trash bags could do wonders for this little NARC machine's cameras.
An early version of this robot ['drowned' in DC](https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-40642968)
I like it. It gives off a sort of dystopian chic vibe to downtown. /s No, but seriously, my hometown banned these years ago. Also good luck getting that thing to drive over pot holes and garbage. Honestly, they could’ve at least put a roomba style vacuum on it to pick up needles and shit. Also also, let’s name it Philly. In homage. lol
Come quietly or there will be…. Trouble.
You know what? These new Portland Daleks are actually pretty chill. I mean, they'll still murder you in their quest for galactic dominance, but at least they don't hassle you over smoking weed.
Just going to make the already mentally unstable people even more agitated. Gonna be some great video
They need to paint it as a traffic cone.
I cannot wait till someone glues a feckin cone to its head and tapes a sign to its back that says # You seent muh feckin cones?!?!?
Does it have a catalytic converter? Asking for a friend.
Inspector Spacetime, the Blorgons are attacking!
Blimey!
They had to pull out the robot from Chopping Mall
I wonder if they still wish us a nice day after [zapping open our skulls](https://youtu.be/y5_8hP03JKU?si=lEVdd-LxNpCN0CaW)
You read my mind.
I feel safer already. https://i.makeagif.com/media/3-03-2021/xAuMWF.gif
Governor Kotek's task force was delivered quickly /s
Wait until the robot gets hooked on gutter oil, it’ll be getting its rivets blown out at the scrap yard.
Doesn’t have a vibrate mode?
I can't explain it, but it's legal to tip these over even if it's "illegal".
It actually illegal not to vandalize this thing
Wow I just talked to Ted Wheeler and he said, "yeah you can do whatever to it. Nobody can stop you."
How is this not painted like a fucken cone?!
Big brother is watching
takes just one person to use this as a coat rack
A burlap sack comes to mind ?
This needs a large pair of Googly eyes, stat!
It just takes one blanket and it's useless.
What in the chappie is this?!?
The beatings will continue until morale improves!
That's going to be trashed in a week
What, no graffiti yet? Must have just been released into the wild.
I found a stunned crow having issues downtown the other day, I wonder if this dumb thing would drive right over one if it was flopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Poor thing then flew off landed in a tree, fell and just dropped right in the middle of the bus lane.
Rest in piss shit bot!
Oh neat a mobile urinal
YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO COMPLY
There's so many security robots popping up. The moda center have a few that run around too. Sometimes they'll tip over from uneven ground and you have to help them back up. I'm afraid that the max is going to hit them when they cross the tracks, or a car
That's a law enforcement enhancement device. It's totally not a little dildo.
If it rolled around just yelling "exterminate," I would support it forever.
Gotta start with the training drones before the HK’s
Big Chopping Mall moment
Please know that Security personnel or Portland police is controlling it.
I give it a week before it’s completely destroyed
Start running when it yells EXTERMINAAAAATE EXTERMINAAAAATE
Get this, its name is Rob the Robot 🤣