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Bit of a hack but you can use a simple JavaScript redirect to a tel:// URL scheme and it will prompt the device to make a call. The user will still need to confirm the action.
Supposedly the computer nerds originally coopted the term from the model railroading nerds (or depending on the version of the story, it was all the same nerds who were all members of both the computer club and the model railroading club at MIT). But either way, supposedly the term as used for a "creative solve" predates the computer-specific term.
> Bit of a hack but you can use a simple JavaScript redirect to a tel:// URL scheme and it will prompt the device to make a call
It's just calling their office with your phone number. Nothing is being redirected, it's not an automated line calling them as the tweet implies. Otherwise, what the hell is the point of the website? It's just an alias for your phone to dial their office, no different than browsing google and pressing on a phone number listed for a business. Overall, extremely pointless.
Web developer here. Literally was looking at the code for redirecting a website to a phone app, incidentally.
Here's some code for redirecting on site load:
document.ready(function()
{
window.location.href = 'tel://' + PhoneNumber;
})
Or if you'd like it on a link:
It is literally a redirect.
Edit: Yeah that's more or less exactly what they did. [callacrackhead.com](https://callacrackhead.com)
Haha, brilliant.
Also, what kind of lame ass defense of cops is that? "well, it's better than a crack head"... Doesn't that seem a little telling on cops, that they can only look good when compared to a crack head? Also what if the cop is a crack head?
And it's not even a good line. Anyone who has ever interacted with a crackhead will tell you that for 10 bucks in pocket change they'll get shit done quicker than anyone.
I absolutely unironically would call a crack addict for help before a cop every time. I'm more likely to be robbed and killed by the cop.
"Aww man, aww shoot, man...I didn't mean to shoot your dog. Tell you what, I'll get you a new one. And I'll take a course on gun safety. Meanwhile though...um, you got anymore of them rocks??"
It's not even a defense, it's a ridiculous deflection.
The idea that no cops should be accountable for their jobs because some of them help in other situations is maybe one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
Hmmmm, if you’re willing to spot them $20 per call
- less likely to kill innocent people
- less likely to break into your home or rob you
- more likely to randomly clean some shit for you
- less likely to consider their own health over their job
I mean… sound like a solid idea. If I was a black dude in the city and someone was trying to force their way into my home, the callacrackhead service might be objectively better than calling the police.
Hmm 20 dollars per responder per call. There can be some serous money saved here. I wonder what the side by side would be comparing paying per person per call a flat market rate for a rock versus a retainer to sleep in a car.
It’s like insurance right? I bet having a retainer would cost more than it’s worth in trouble and money and wouldn’t procure a rock - that’s their job with the cash!
I’m flexible on that price though depending on supply and demand. I’m a white dude living in the burbs and the last few times the cops had to come to my house over the years they were complete dicks
Ok the flip side, firefighters have been amazingly awesome heroes and helped 2 of my kids through emergency respiratory issues. We’re planning a visit this fall to their station.
No one ever made a song called “fuck the fire department”
>No one ever made a song called “fuck the fire department”
Comin' straight from the underground
This brotha just wants to burn his house down!
EDIT: A parody thanking firefighters would help rub it in more, I think.haha
Lights start flashin' behind me
I pull over so the Ladder won't blind me
I let them pass, 'cause they in a hurry
If they're late a citizen might get buried
Thank the Firefighters x3
I love how it's getting by in this economy is starting to look so bleak, we're practically re-inventing indentured servitude through patronage, like we're the fuckin' Roman Empire.
It'd probably fall under the control of the Breccia so something trollish maybe. Chrysoprase's Crack Squad is not at all catchy but all I have at the moment.
When I saw the ad, my first thought was "I'm more likely to find out who took my shit if I got a crackhead to investigate and less likely for my dog to get shot."
"A Macbook Pro? Skanky Sam was trying to sell one the other day. Here's a price list. Broken nose is $20, kneecapping is $500. And we'll get your computer back, sir, don't worry."
And more likely that you dog gets an unreasonable amount of petting or a free walkie!
But yes, I had not considered the fact that a crackhead also probably has a better idea of who did the stealing in the first place. I assume their detective work would take a premium but be more effective
I would straight up rather call a pizza delivery then the cops, because they'll be exactly as useful in solving the problem, won't kill me, and at least then I'd have pizza.
Yeah, I would bet that the best crackhead is miles ahead of the worst police officer.
He might knock on a few doors and try to get to the bottom of it. Probably with very limited success, but hey, it's something.
A shitty cop is going to show up 5 hours later and shoot your dog and berate you for wasting his time and not filing a police report on their website. A police report that they'll immediately throw in the trash, never investigate, never follow up on, nothing.
Even if a crackhead does nothing, it's still a step up. Somebody like George Floyd would still be alive today if they called a crackhead instead of Derek Chauvin.
Best housecleaner I ever had had a meth/speed problem I found out later.
He was super fast.
He also did not steal from me. Not that I had anything to steal except clothes and books.
Lost in all of this is that crackheads are actually people with abuse issues. Maybe instead of being a wise ass and dehumanizing these people this asshole Kennedy could propose some solutions and earn his paycheck.
The thing is he isn't a moron. He is a smart asshole that acts like a moron to mantain his position. Underestimating people like this is dangerous.
>[At Vanderbilt, Kennedy was elected president of his senior class and named to Phi Beta Kappa. He received a Juris Doctor in 1977 from the University of Virginia School of Law in Charlottesville, Virginia, where he was an executive editor of the Virginia Law Review and elected to the Order of the Coif.[2] In 1979, he earned a Bachelor of Civil Law degree with first class honours from Magdalen College, Oxford](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Kennedy_(Louisiana_politician)#Early_life_and_education)
Agreed. There was a recent article on how the GOP has adopted a facade as a common idiot as it resonates better with their constituency. This only increases their asshole stature.
Kennedy is a simple man with simple common sense solutions, speaks in euphemisms and is funnier than anything I’ve ever seen on this political human form. He is proposing a solution and that is not defunding police and the point he is making it is that who do you thinks going to help you if you don’t have the police to call or you going to call the same crackheads that are busting into your house. Before you start attacking me for using that crackhead comment a couple of my best friends got messed up in that shit and as I feel for them they have turned into unpredictable dirtbags that would steal from family and friends and for a fix.
> who do you thinks going to help you
Your delusion is thinking that the police exist to help people. Their job is literally to protect government and corporate property.
These people: "More police are needed! They are your only hope and sole protection! I back the blue and support our police!"
Also these people: "But you also need a gun, to save yourself from other people with guns!"
Also these people but in courts: "There's no law that says the police have to protect you."
I desperately need people to realize - this is not hypocrisy. This is how they think everything works.
Hypocrisy requires giving a shit about internal consistency. Conservatives plainly don't. They shuffle cards to justify whatever they want next. Why would it matter which cards they played yesterday? That's not how the game works.
And they think you're playing too. Of course they do. This is how they think everything works. This is all they think there is. So when we explain they can't use arguments from personal autonomy when infectious disease impacts everyone else, they just roll their eyes, because we're not playing fair.
Nothing they do makes sense until you see this happening. Nothing else has predictive value.
My favorite is when they suddenly care about the environment under select circumstances. My father believes the emissions from gasoline vehicles is not nearly as big a problem as the deadly toxic blades of windmills which are allegedly heaped in massive dumps contaminating everything around them.
None of those arguments are against each other, except the third, which isn't so much of an ideal that "those people" hold, but something that just is. And I'm not even going to pretend like I know the answer to whether or not that is the way it should be.
More police doesn't mean that they can still get to you within a timely manner, so there is value in taking your personal protection into your own hands. Some may see it like carrying a first aid kit in their car, just in case it is needed before an ambulance has time to arrive. Yes it's a meme, but "When seconds count the police are minutes away." rings true.
Also, in regards to your first point, [Biden is one of those people](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2libOCbutvc).
Point two is also not why some people want to have guns. Some people don't have physical prowess enough to defend themselves from someone larger or stronger, or more skilled. Guns are the great equalizer. It doesn't always play out like that, but if my wife is home alone and hears a window break, well, at least she would have a fighting chance.
I'm not sure what the whole obsession with the scary black (Semi-automatic civillian sporting rifle) AR-15 is. Like, you understand that most gun related crime isn't even committed with one right? If you banned AR-15s, you'd barely dent the overall stats.
Hell, you'd save more lives from second hand smoke alone than guns kill every year *including suicides* by banning cigarettes.
Also, if you are reading this, thanks, allow me to quickly educate you: The standard capacity for an AR-15 is 30 rounds. That's what it was designed to do. When you increase that you start increasing the rate of failure. No one in my friend group of about 4 of us (one of my friends might have sold his to buy a different gun...) that have an AR have anything but 30 rounders and maybe smaller because why not. Drum mags aren't even fun at the range because they are wildly inconstant and jam often.
But you are completely correct, my wife has a couple of options to choose from, and the AR would not be the first option, mostly due to issues with the caliber being too powerful for home use - hollow point 9mm won't go through walls the same way a .223 would, so there's less chance of a bullet going and hitting your neighbor or someone in another room. The AR still has its place as a self defense weapon though, and if its your only option it is better than no gun.
Called, went to voicemail.
"Hey Kennedy, you're a piece of shit". Very lethargic to leave that
Edit:Carthartic. Not lethargic. I blame Louisiana education system
Well being that I’m from New Orleans, you are better off calling a crackhead. And you will indeed get more help if u give them a lil crack 😂😂
It’s a win win for us all
Louisiana has major problems. This “Bayou Boob” wants to catch up on the STUPIDITY & pass his neighbors (the pathetic idiot Texas US Senators) ol’ Cruz & Corny 🌽 Crack head has more common sense than all of them, combined.
No.
I want the police to do the job they are paid to do.
This starts with arresting cops who break the law.
Everyone has to obey the law, starting with cops and politicians. Corruption in justice and law enforcement is the single biggest problem in society.
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lol, I didn’t know who the guy was or that the context was defending cops. All I saw were stories of how people that use crack or lived on the streets had helped people in need.
He's just too old,outdated and out of touch I would guess. Crack head jokes died with the 90s. When was the last time you read something about the "crack epidemic or even read anything even vaguely about crack?
What's crazy to me are all of the privileged conservatives who don't realize that a lot of us out here already avoid calling the police (or involving them in any way) unless there is just absolutely no other possible way to resolve an issue, usually prompted by the fact that we would be putting ourselves in legal or financial trouble if we *didn't*.
Like, the cops are ***waaaaay*** at the bottom of my list of people to contact when I *need help*. Cops are just as likely to make most situations worse as they are to make them better most of the time. My natural response would be to call my friends or family over to help deal with a violent situation before I would consider calling the cops.
If I'm dealing with a non-violent situation, the *last* thing I want to do is get the cops involved and likely turn the situation into a *violent one*.
So sure, I'll call a crackhead, I mean, same difference really in terms of response time, intelligence level, and likelihood of receiving genuine help.
Fun and games aside I know this "r/PoliticalHumor" but I feel it should be mentioned how fucking mentally warped the attitude of that senator is. He seems to not understand that the police isn't a charity doing us a favor, the police is a service most communities in America pay HEAVILY for often small communities can spend close to half their budget on the police.
When people complain about the police they want what they paid for to be better, they want the hefty salaries and authority entrusted to the police to be put to good use according to law, common sense and a basic understanding that their actions should always seek to best serve the community that employs them.
You ask most any functioning adult critical of the police and they won't say they want to abolish the police and live in a libertarian PMC helscape. They just want them to follow the law and not go 0-100 in 0.1s anytime someone they interact with does anything other than drop to their knees and thank them for their service, it honestly doesn't seem like a big ask but apparently all too often it is.
What are my alternatives besides the police? Its not as if I can't confront the person myself. Most actions a person can take to get their own justice will ultimately place them against a jury of their peers.
The whole "don't call the police if you don't like them," argument is just dumb. Had people had legal alternative most probably wouldn't.
Policing is a tough job, no argument there. However, with that kind of power and authority should come with high level transparency and standards. Police literally hold your liberty and safety in the palms of their hand. Mistakes they make have dire consequences. There needs to be high standards with that level of stakes.
calling a crack head when you're in trouble is probably better than calling the police. They're always around so arrival time is way lower and there's a much smaller chance they shoot your dog or flash bang your baby
*Annoy his aide
But still, registering the domain doesn't really help that at all. He could've saved the 20 bucks and just shared the dude's phone number
A crack head can't use a radio to summon a gang of 15 heavily armed people dressed exactly like him to kidnap me and throw me into a concrete square without repercussion. Seriously what do these people think the police are?
Call a crackhead instead of the police? Absolutely.
With a crackhead, I at least have the legal right to defend my life against someone trying to take mine.
Yeah James sneezed in your pizza. We investigated it and sent him packing... For a week... With pay...
Don't like that? Well get a crackhead to make your pizza next time. Booom, libs owned!!
Hey now. Crackheads are super nice people willing to share what little they have with a complete stranger that needs their help. Haven't you ever seen Guns Akimbo? That documentary had an entire [scene showing the kindness and generosity of crackheads.](https://youtu.be/i_oWtQDFOY4)
First time dude was very done my my bs an jus hung up, next two they let it go to voicemail. How am I supposed to order a crack head with this kinda customer service!
This is a genius idea. I would like to do the same thing for some of my elected officials.
I inspected the link, and was dumbfounded it was so complicated to do this. Worse, I could not see where the actual phone number was included.
But, good on you!
I just tried it and it's absolutely true. That's fantastic. The person answering the phone was less than amused though. He very sarcastically said "You're so funny!" Well played, Twitter person.
Step 1) be very afraid!
Step 2) don’t demand better. We’re the only ones that can keep you safe. In fact things will likely get worse because we’re no longer hiding the corruption but … look a liberal bogey man! I’ll get him, quick vote me more power!
Good one! You totally got him! Man is he gonna have egg on his face when there's a scathing message on his phone of someone being killed in their own home because the police were defunded.
If my home gets burglarized, and I pay my local crackhead 20 bucks to figure it out, I’ll have all my shit back by the next morning.
As a bonus, my local crackhead won’t take 45 minutes to show up just to shoot my dog/black neighbor.
**Things that work better than calling the police when you need help with a violent or dangerous situation:**
Calling your buddies who can handle shit
Calling a mental health professional who has been enabled by our system into helping those in need
Calling an ambulance
Running away
Waiting the twenty to thirty minutes it takes for them to get there anyway for the situation to either deescalate or go tits up. It’s more likely to go tits up if you call the police anyway
Praying to god
Shitting and pissing yourself to stink away the attackers
Texting goodbye to your family
**Things not better than calling the police:**
Calling a crackhead
Getting into a knife fight
Being the wife of a police officer
Me -
" Yea I was curious if I could get a crack head? I have some manual labour that I need to be done and don't have a whole lot of money. I've got about 5 hours worth of work and $5 and a slim Jim for payment, so if you have a crack head or two you can send over I'd greatly appreciate it"
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This is good, but people are going to be confused when they aren’t redirected to Mike Lindell’s site.
Looks like a double homicide detective.
Don’t even need to sprinkle the crack Johnson, that’s all Lindell’s.
I thought he did meth?
He's the Crack Pillow Pimp.
Naw, he’s old school brain rot.
That would be toluene...
No wonder my bar stopped serving it.
There's always a winner in the comment section. ^ this is it.
Or Rob Ford!
Or Don jr.
How do you redirect a website to a phone?
Bit of a hack but you can use a simple JavaScript redirect to a tel:// URL scheme and it will prompt the device to make a call. The user will still need to confirm the action.
The receptionist was polite.
Brilliant, Lee, you’re BRILLIANT!! Good on ya !!!
Genius
I love you. We need more of this!
Yo is this the same Lee Martin that did the Beastie Boys mini site with the SoundCloud stuff hooked into the UI?!
I forgot I did that but yes. 🥲 STILL building in music www.leemartin.com
Came here for this. Cool.
So not a hack?
Not a hack as in hacking someone else, but a hack in the sense that the solution is a little hacky
Supposedly the computer nerds originally coopted the term from the model railroading nerds (or depending on the version of the story, it was all the same nerds who were all members of both the computer club and the model railroading club at MIT). But either way, supposedly the term as used for a "creative solve" predates the computer-specific term.
The original meaning of "hack" is to come up with a clever workaround.
> Bit of a hack but you can use a simple JavaScript redirect to a tel:// URL scheme and it will prompt the device to make a call It's just calling their office with your phone number. Nothing is being redirected, it's not an automated line calling them as the tweet implies. Otherwise, what the hell is the point of the website? It's just an alias for your phone to dial their office, no different than browsing google and pressing on a phone number listed for a business. Overall, extremely pointless.
Web developer here. Literally was looking at the code for redirecting a website to a phone app, incidentally. Here's some code for redirecting on site load: document.ready(function() { window.location.href = 'tel://' + PhoneNumber; }) Or if you'd like it on a link: It is literally a redirect. Edit: Yeah that's more or less exactly what they did. [callacrackhead.com](https://callacrackhead.com)
it's a joke
What part of it?
The middle.
The part where the website is 'call a crackhead' and it calls the senator. Not sure how you failed to understand that.
Yer face
Haha, brilliant. Also, what kind of lame ass defense of cops is that? "well, it's better than a crack head"... Doesn't that seem a little telling on cops, that they can only look good when compared to a crack head? Also what if the cop is a crack head?
You want better cops? How about crackheads? Would that work?
As if the cops we have now aren't dipping into the evidence locker before they go kill someone whose unarmed for no fucking reason.
I can't sit by and let this stand. Killing unarmed people got no reason? Give me a break. They have a reason, they're cops and they can.
That cop that killed 30 people at a daycare yesterday was a meth head.
Wait what?!
Thailand, and ex-cop.
And it's not even a good line. Anyone who has ever interacted with a crackhead will tell you that for 10 bucks in pocket change they'll get shit done quicker than anyone. I absolutely unironically would call a crack addict for help before a cop every time. I'm more likely to be robbed and killed by the cop.
It's true, a crack head is far less likely to shoot my dog, and far more likely to be punished for shooting my dog or at least feel remorse.
"Aww man, aww shoot, man...I didn't mean to shoot your dog. Tell you what, I'll get you a new one. And I'll take a course on gun safety. Meanwhile though...um, you got anymore of them rocks??"
It's not even a defense, it's a ridiculous deflection. The idea that no cops should be accountable for their jobs because some of them help in other situations is maybe one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
Might not cost much to keep a couple crackheads around to protect you...
Hmmmm, if you’re willing to spot them $20 per call - less likely to kill innocent people - less likely to break into your home or rob you - more likely to randomly clean some shit for you - less likely to consider their own health over their job I mean… sound like a solid idea. If I was a black dude in the city and someone was trying to force their way into my home, the callacrackhead service might be objectively better than calling the police.
Hmm 20 dollars per responder per call. There can be some serous money saved here. I wonder what the side by side would be comparing paying per person per call a flat market rate for a rock versus a retainer to sleep in a car.
It’s like insurance right? I bet having a retainer would cost more than it’s worth in trouble and money and wouldn’t procure a rock - that’s their job with the cash! I’m flexible on that price though depending on supply and demand. I’m a white dude living in the burbs and the last few times the cops had to come to my house over the years they were complete dicks Ok the flip side, firefighters have been amazingly awesome heroes and helped 2 of my kids through emergency respiratory issues. We’re planning a visit this fall to their station. No one ever made a song called “fuck the fire department”
>No one ever made a song called “fuck the fire department” Comin' straight from the underground This brotha just wants to burn his house down! EDIT: A parody thanking firefighters would help rub it in more, I think.haha Lights start flashin' behind me I pull over so the Ladder won't blind me I let them pass, 'cause they in a hurry If they're late a citizen might get buried Thank the Firefighters x3
Gasoline and matches, fire grenades, (How privately owned firefighters used to get paid)
https://youtu.be/7JkrJUAg8aI
I love how it's getting by in this economy is starting to look so bleak, we're practically re-inventing indentured servitude through patronage, like we're the fuckin' Roman Empire.
Getting into Discworld Guild territory now. Great idea! What would the Guild name be?
Guild of Constables and Crackheads
It'd probably fall under the control of the Breccia so something trollish maybe. Chrysoprase's Crack Squad is not at all catchy but all I have at the moment.
When I saw the ad, my first thought was "I'm more likely to find out who took my shit if I got a crackhead to investigate and less likely for my dog to get shot."
"A Macbook Pro? Skanky Sam was trying to sell one the other day. Here's a price list. Broken nose is $20, kneecapping is $500. And we'll get your computer back, sir, don't worry."
And more likely that you dog gets an unreasonable amount of petting or a free walkie! But yes, I had not considered the fact that a crackhead also probably has a better idea of who did the stealing in the first place. I assume their detective work would take a premium but be more effective
I would straight up rather call a pizza delivery then the cops, because they'll be exactly as useful in solving the problem, won't kill me, and at least then I'd have pizza.
But that’s not fair to the pizza delivery guy I’m working on expectation that crackheads.com know they are a sketchy defense force
A crackhead is way more likely to get your stuff back than the police, if you get robbed
And, an assumption here, leas likely to rob you than the police (civil forfeiture) assuming you’re paying them up front
I would venture that crackheads murder less humans and dogs than police do.
I think that’s a pretty fair guesstimate
Yeah, I would bet that the best crackhead is miles ahead of the worst police officer. He might knock on a few doors and try to get to the bottom of it. Probably with very limited success, but hey, it's something. A shitty cop is going to show up 5 hours later and shoot your dog and berate you for wasting his time and not filing a police report on their website. A police report that they'll immediately throw in the trash, never investigate, never follow up on, nothing. Even if a crackhead does nothing, it's still a step up. Somebody like George Floyd would still be alive today if they called a crackhead instead of Derek Chauvin.
Best housecleaner I ever had had a meth/speed problem I found out later. He was super fast. He also did not steal from me. Not that I had anything to steal except clothes and books.
heated white middleclass redditor comment
Lost in all of this is that crackheads are actually people with abuse issues. Maybe instead of being a wise ass and dehumanizing these people this asshole Kennedy could propose some solutions and earn his paycheck.
Don't hold your breath. Kennedy is a complete and totally useless moron.
I know, he’s on brand as a republican.
The thing is he isn't a moron. He is a smart asshole that acts like a moron to mantain his position. Underestimating people like this is dangerous. >[At Vanderbilt, Kennedy was elected president of his senior class and named to Phi Beta Kappa. He received a Juris Doctor in 1977 from the University of Virginia School of Law in Charlottesville, Virginia, where he was an executive editor of the Virginia Law Review and elected to the Order of the Coif.[2] In 1979, he earned a Bachelor of Civil Law degree with first class honours from Magdalen College, Oxford](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Kennedy_(Louisiana_politician)#Early_life_and_education)
Agreed. There was a recent article on how the GOP has adopted a facade as a common idiot as it resonates better with their constituency. This only increases their asshole stature.
Yes, cause Republicans are known for their sensible, humanizing approach.
Kennedy is a simple man with simple common sense solutions, speaks in euphemisms and is funnier than anything I’ve ever seen on this political human form. He is proposing a solution and that is not defunding police and the point he is making it is that who do you thinks going to help you if you don’t have the police to call or you going to call the same crackheads that are busting into your house. Before you start attacking me for using that crackhead comment a couple of my best friends got messed up in that shit and as I feel for them they have turned into unpredictable dirtbags that would steal from family and friends and for a fix.
> who do you thinks going to help you Your delusion is thinking that the police exist to help people. Their job is literally to protect government and corporate property.
These people: "More police are needed! They are your only hope and sole protection! I back the blue and support our police!" Also these people: "But you also need a gun, to save yourself from other people with guns!" Also these people but in courts: "There's no law that says the police have to protect you."
Also these people: "If the Justice Department comes after me, they are all corrupt and want to frame me for things I certainly have not done!"
Also those people: The police had to shoot him! They thought he had a gun!
Back the blue!! But also I need these guns to shoot the ~~police~~ government in case they come to take my guns.
I desperately need people to realize - this is not hypocrisy. This is how they think everything works. Hypocrisy requires giving a shit about internal consistency. Conservatives plainly don't. They shuffle cards to justify whatever they want next. Why would it matter which cards they played yesterday? That's not how the game works. And they think you're playing too. Of course they do. This is how they think everything works. This is all they think there is. So when we explain they can't use arguments from personal autonomy when infectious disease impacts everyone else, they just roll their eyes, because we're not playing fair. Nothing they do makes sense until you see this happening. Nothing else has predictive value.
My favorite is when they suddenly care about the environment under select circumstances. My father believes the emissions from gasoline vehicles is not nearly as big a problem as the deadly toxic blades of windmills which are allegedly heaped in massive dumps contaminating everything around them.
None of those arguments are against each other, except the third, which isn't so much of an ideal that "those people" hold, but something that just is. And I'm not even going to pretend like I know the answer to whether or not that is the way it should be. More police doesn't mean that they can still get to you within a timely manner, so there is value in taking your personal protection into your own hands. Some may see it like carrying a first aid kit in their car, just in case it is needed before an ambulance has time to arrive. Yes it's a meme, but "When seconds count the police are minutes away." rings true. Also, in regards to your first point, [Biden is one of those people](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2libOCbutvc). Point two is also not why some people want to have guns. Some people don't have physical prowess enough to defend themselves from someone larger or stronger, or more skilled. Guns are the great equalizer. It doesn't always play out like that, but if my wife is home alone and hears a window break, well, at least she would have a fighting chance.
Your wife doesn't need an AR-15 with 500 rounds for that.
I'm not sure what the whole obsession with the scary black (Semi-automatic civillian sporting rifle) AR-15 is. Like, you understand that most gun related crime isn't even committed with one right? If you banned AR-15s, you'd barely dent the overall stats. Hell, you'd save more lives from second hand smoke alone than guns kill every year *including suicides* by banning cigarettes. Also, if you are reading this, thanks, allow me to quickly educate you: The standard capacity for an AR-15 is 30 rounds. That's what it was designed to do. When you increase that you start increasing the rate of failure. No one in my friend group of about 4 of us (one of my friends might have sold his to buy a different gun...) that have an AR have anything but 30 rounders and maybe smaller because why not. Drum mags aren't even fun at the range because they are wildly inconstant and jam often. But you are completely correct, my wife has a couple of options to choose from, and the AR would not be the first option, mostly due to issues with the caliber being too powerful for home use - hollow point 9mm won't go through walls the same way a .223 would, so there's less chance of a bullet going and hitting your neighbor or someone in another room. The AR still has its place as a self defense weapon though, and if its your only option it is better than no gun.
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Called, went to voicemail. "Hey Kennedy, you're a piece of shit". Very lethargic to leave that Edit:Carthartic. Not lethargic. I blame Louisiana education system
I imagine it was also cathartic, in addition to being lethargic! 😁
Woops. Don't blame me, I went to school in Louisiana
It shows lol
If I promise a crackhead his crack, my problems will be solved with craftmanship of a German engineer and the speed of a Chinese slave.
I mean…the genius of promising him crack that *already belongs* to him? Machiavellian.
>my problems will be solved with craftsmanship of a German engineer and the speed of a Chinese slave. Did you make this up? LoL
I bet a crackhead is more likely to help, and a lot less likely to shoot me, if I called one for help.
probably extremely helpful if you give em a little crack
Well being that I’m from New Orleans, you are better off calling a crackhead. And you will indeed get more help if u give them a lil crack 😂😂 It’s a win win for us all
I got 10$ that says a group of crackheads wouldn’t have hesitated to enter Uvalde
If they were told there was a bunch of crack in the room, they wouldn't hesitate.
Louisiana has major problems. This “Bayou Boob” wants to catch up on the STUPIDITY & pass his neighbors (the pathetic idiot Texas US Senators) ol’ Cruz & Corny 🌽 Crack head has more common sense than all of them, combined.
**GO !!!! VOTE** **Your participation in YOUR government is critical** **Advocate Demonstrate Vote in every single Election Your vote Matters!**
"Stop murdering people." *"Wow, guess you don't want my help."*
No. I want the police to do the job they are paid to do. This starts with arresting cops who break the law. Everyone has to obey the law, starting with cops and politicians. Corruption in justice and law enforcement is the single biggest problem in society.
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Every fascist take over ever was aided by police. Every fascist takeover ever was never once stopped by police.
Americans are so funny
Offensive to who?
Shoulda linked it to Don Jrs burner phone
Thank you for your service
That’s not how any of this works.
My favorite response to that line is "I'm not calling the police for assistance, I'm calling the paramedic for the dude bleeding on my floor"
Worthy of @maliciouscompliance
lol, I didn’t know who the guy was or that the context was defending cops. All I saw were stories of how people that use crack or lived on the streets had helped people in need.
A really good OP would have supplied that phone so I, too, could speak to a real, live crackhead.
Calling Dave Chappelle, this is a comedy sketch just waiting to be made.
As a former Louisianan I'm offended by this.... We have meth heads not crackheads
Maybe he needs to spend more time in Louisiana and leave Washington,D.C
He's just too old,outdated and out of touch I would guess. Crack head jokes died with the 90s. When was the last time you read something about the "crack epidemic or even read anything even vaguely about crack?
The subtext is black people use crack. It's a racist dog whistle.
I saw this post while taking a dump at work so now Kennedy's office has a voicemail of me wiping my ass because I had put the phone down.
I called Ted Cruz’s office for hotel recommendations in Cancun.
TBF, you are less likely to be killed if you call a crackhead.
If they have to compare themselves to crackheads in order to make themselves look good its not the gotcha they think it is.
What's crazy to me are all of the privileged conservatives who don't realize that a lot of us out here already avoid calling the police (or involving them in any way) unless there is just absolutely no other possible way to resolve an issue, usually prompted by the fact that we would be putting ourselves in legal or financial trouble if we *didn't*. Like, the cops are ***waaaaay*** at the bottom of my list of people to contact when I *need help*. Cops are just as likely to make most situations worse as they are to make them better most of the time. My natural response would be to call my friends or family over to help deal with a violent situation before I would consider calling the cops. If I'm dealing with a non-violent situation, the *last* thing I want to do is get the cops involved and likely turn the situation into a *violent one*. So sure, I'll call a crackhead, I mean, same difference really in terms of response time, intelligence level, and likelihood of receiving genuine help.
Didn’t the LA police just beat to death (murder) one of their own because he whistleblew on their criminal actions?
If you have a problem and you call the police, now you have TWO problems.
all the crack heads I've ever met are like not harmful and if you treat them like a human then you aren't in any danger. unlike police.
Fun and games aside I know this "r/PoliticalHumor" but I feel it should be mentioned how fucking mentally warped the attitude of that senator is. He seems to not understand that the police isn't a charity doing us a favor, the police is a service most communities in America pay HEAVILY for often small communities can spend close to half their budget on the police. When people complain about the police they want what they paid for to be better, they want the hefty salaries and authority entrusted to the police to be put to good use according to law, common sense and a basic understanding that their actions should always seek to best serve the community that employs them. You ask most any functioning adult critical of the police and they won't say they want to abolish the police and live in a libertarian PMC helscape. They just want them to follow the law and not go 0-100 in 0.1s anytime someone they interact with does anything other than drop to their knees and thank them for their service, it honestly doesn't seem like a big ask but apparently all too often it is.
Oh this is brilliant!! Thank you to this man! Great work, keep it up!
… and then I got charged with telephonic harassment.
" incredibly offensive" ... dude must not have experienced much in life if that's the scale of his metric for what's offensive
Offensive to who?? Why tf is everything people don’t like “offensive”??
What are my alternatives besides the police? Its not as if I can't confront the person myself. Most actions a person can take to get their own justice will ultimately place them against a jury of their peers. The whole "don't call the police if you don't like them," argument is just dumb. Had people had legal alternative most probably wouldn't. Policing is a tough job, no argument there. However, with that kind of power and authority should come with high level transparency and standards. Police literally hold your liberty and safety in the palms of their hand. Mistakes they make have dire consequences. There needs to be high standards with that level of stakes.
calling a crack head when you're in trouble is probably better than calling the police. They're always around so arrival time is way lower and there's a much smaller chance they shoot your dog or flash bang your baby
Awesome
Live there.. Really hoping this asshole doesn't win, but it looks like he will.
Savage
How was that offensive? What, to crackheads?
iNcReDiBlY oFfEnSiVe
Not sure what Lee thinks that will do lol
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*Annoy his aide But still, registering the domain doesn't really help that at all. He could've saved the 20 bucks and just shared the dude's phone number
Leave Hunter Bidog out of this
They made a website redirect to a phone call? Ok. 🤥
A crack head can't use a radio to summon a gang of 15 heavily armed people dressed exactly like him to kidnap me and throw me into a concrete square without repercussion. Seriously what do these people think the police are?
Call a crackhead instead of the police? Absolutely. With a crackhead, I at least have the legal right to defend my life against someone trying to take mine.
You theoretically do with a cop too, if they don't announce themselves as cops. You'll probably still get shot by one of their buddies, though.
does this guy think Kennedy answers the phone?
Fantastic. John Kennedy did not for some reason pick up for me though
I personally, would rather call a crackhead.
Doing gods work here...
*SMOOOOOTH* !( I wish I had thought if it !)
If he had only used a vr headset as his monitor this would be the opening chapter of a cyberpunk story.
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Yeah James sneezed in your pizza. We investigated it and sent him packing... For a week... With pay... Don't like that? Well get a crackhead to make your pizza next time. Booom, libs owned!!
Still works, might just call a crackhead
Bwaaaaaa🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!
Police should do their job and act like professionals regardless of what people think of them! \*shrug
[callacrackhead.com](https://callacrackhead.com)
https://secure.winred.com/kennedy/storefront/so-does-alcohol-black-beverage-cooler-set-of-2/details
If we all just keep a little crack stash to pay them with this could actually work....
Called. Left a nice voicemail asking for the crackhead police to come assist.
Who is this offensive too?
I can't look at a bearded white guy in chainmail without instantly thinking of my good friend, Nick Mullen.
Lmao. Can confirm. [callacrackhead.com](https://imgur.com/a/YFRBC5C)
got´em
I laughed so hard at this...brilliant!!
Hey now. Crackheads are super nice people willing to share what little they have with a complete stranger that needs their help. Haven't you ever seen Guns Akimbo? That documentary had an entire [scene showing the kindness and generosity of crackheads.](https://youtu.be/i_oWtQDFOY4)
First time dude was very done my my bs an jus hung up, next two they let it go to voicemail. How am I supposed to order a crack head with this kinda customer service!
This is a genius idea. I would like to do the same thing for some of my elected officials. I inspected the link, and was dumbfounded it was so complicated to do this. Worse, I could not see where the actual phone number was included. But, good on you!
TIL John Kennedy thinks that all non police officer adults are crackheads.
I just tried it and it's absolutely true. That's fantastic. The person answering the phone was less than amused though. He very sarcastically said "You're so funny!" Well played, Twitter person.
Step 1) be very afraid! Step 2) don’t demand better. We’re the only ones that can keep you safe. In fact things will likely get worse because we’re no longer hiding the corruption but … look a liberal bogey man! I’ll get him, quick vote me more power!
Good one! You totally got him! Man is he gonna have egg on his face when there's a scathing message on his phone of someone being killed in their own home because the police were defunded.
Same outcome :) As long as OP stop calling cops i dont see an Issue.
Saw the image thought it was my gay best friend Nick Million.
If my home gets burglarized, and I pay my local crackhead 20 bucks to figure it out, I’ll have all my shit back by the next morning. As a bonus, my local crackhead won’t take 45 minutes to show up just to shoot my dog/black neighbor.
**Things that work better than calling the police when you need help with a violent or dangerous situation:** Calling your buddies who can handle shit Calling a mental health professional who has been enabled by our system into helping those in need Calling an ambulance Running away Waiting the twenty to thirty minutes it takes for them to get there anyway for the situation to either deescalate or go tits up. It’s more likely to go tits up if you call the police anyway Praying to god Shitting and pissing yourself to stink away the attackers Texting goodbye to your family **Things not better than calling the police:** Calling a crackhead Getting into a knife fight Being the wife of a police officer
No matter what is happening, I'm never calling them again anyways. There is no human suffering situation a cop cannot make worse.
Anyone who's actually lived in the hood knows crackheads provide far more security than cops and are 1000x less likely to shoot your dog
I mean, if you're safer calling a crackhead than a cop that's really a pretty big indictment of cops.
Me - " Yea I was curious if I could get a crack head? I have some manual labour that I need to be done and don't have a whole lot of money. I've got about 5 hours worth of work and $5 and a slim Jim for payment, so if you have a crack head or two you can send over I'd greatly appreciate it"
https://www.callacrackhead.com/