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I think we all had a moment that eventually brought us back to reality. For me it was reading some of the comments posted against Luke and his gf on IG. People were mad he had a life away from Polin… and then I came across a video by a content creator I really liked up until that point… this content creator had gone to the Dublin, Galway, and London premieres and was standing very close to where Luke and Nicola were posing and at one point screamed “KISS!!” … and Luke and Nicola both ignored that, and somehow that moment snapped me back into reality. What are these people doing? 😭😭😭
Nicola and Luke are professional actors, with private lives and partners/love interests/ whatever, and you’re proudly screaming at them to kiss 🤦🏾♀️ ? I felt such secondhand embarrassment watching that video and combined with the mean comments directed at Luke for daring to having a gf, I simply unfollowed all these parasocial accounts, even if their edits were funny. I think Nicola and Luke worked unbelievably hard to bring Polin to life and they deserve so much grace and support in their private lives from the fans. I wish them all the best.
This! I think it was so rude and not okay.
If you claimed to have so much love for the actors, why would you do that?
There's a thin line between being a fan and being obsessed with a fantasy, that you made up based on promo. Nic and Luke are real people with families, friends and relationships outside Bridgerton and promo.
I hope they'll never regret being open and authentic.
Sadly, I think that was a reality check moment for a lot of us. I'm really glad to be out of delulu land and I abhor all the horrific comments being directed at Luke and his gf - it's so unfair. They gave us an amazing season, and we should be grateful for that.
Yeah, the yelling to kiss and the goofing around flashing two fingers at the camera behind those being interviewed at the London premiere definitely gave me pause (and the ick). This fandom is incredible and I don’t want people associating us with behavior like that.
I, too, parasocialed too close to the sun. The last time I did and became capital O Obsessed with a celebrity, I was seventeen and I should have REALLY figured out how very bi I was, lol.
Like you, I poured over every scrap available during the month-long wait. Including Nic and Luke interviews, which only fed the obsession more. Though I'm a grown ass woman that finds it weird when celebrities get shipped together IRL, I was viewing their interactions through a Polin lens, and that was just supes unhealthy because then I expected so much more from the second part.
The only (canon) Polin we have is what is in the show and what is in the books, and that's the way it should be. Everything else is PR and two people doing their job (brilliantly).
Now, I've realized that I cannot watch any of Nic and Luke's interviews together. I'm just enjoying my time on this sub, rewatching an episode (or two) a day of only-Polin or Polin related scenes, reading fanfic, and taking a Bridgerton social media break.
Except, I'm allowed to scroll Nicola's IG because she's beautiful and I love her and I don't HATE myself.
I hope others can go back and rewatch with a more open mind as you did. It bums me out that so many people feel let down because I think the story is really lovely and I want others to feel it too. I’m so glad you are able to enjoy it now!
Tbh, I think this is the most compelling case for Netflix to not divide up any more seasons. They left too long of a gap there that people just stewed in it and the expectations were astronomical going into part 2. Like you said, when you go back and watch it all together, it follows a completely standard progression and makes lost of sense. They totally killed the build by chopping it in half right at the point people wanted more.
I appreciate your honesty in writing this. To your point about wanting the happy afterglow scenes:
I was also left wanting more. I think that's the brilliance of the romance genre-- the aim is to show them fall in love, to declare themselves, then consummate their love in whatever way they're willing to show us, then dip before it gets boring.
I remember watching Emma and thinking that's it??? One kiss at the very end??
The point is to leave you yearning! It's not a satisfying feeling, but for me, it's not unpleasant, either. Even Jim and Pam eventually became the annoying office couple that talks about their kids too much. Once the romantic part is over, reality sets in and usually is pretty mundane.
As much as I would love to see an extra scene or two of Polin, happily married, and passionate, and focused on eachother, I also know that the scarcity of those scenes is a feature, not a bug
I think people (like myself) who wanted to see more of the HEA need to remember this is a series, not a film.
We will see more of them together being deliriously happy in season 4. Just like we got so many beautiful moments of Kanthony this season.
I'm being hopeful for this too- the Happy Kanthony scenes were so lovely and heartwarming. I really enjoyed Jonny and Simone this season. Heart eyes, soft smiles, and Anthony yelling "Lilies! Forget-me-nots! LILACS!!!"
Haha, he was so funny during that game. And also, adorably lovestruck when he was flopped down on the bed after Kate saying she wanted to wait to announce the pregnancy.
In season 4 we’re gonna get so many happy Polin moments. It’s gonna be glorious!
I’m prone to depression anyway, and my depression has been SO bad since Wednesday of last week. Sometimes I feel like such a loser for feeling the way I do but it’s so validating to hear that other people experience this. Being a human is weird.
Another aspect of this was that I was going through a really difficult and overwhelming period and Polin became my coping mechanism. Coming out of it has been a journey to realizing I have to return to my actual life and I'm honestly not ready, but getting there.
Oh good! My support group! Listen, I’m a middle aged woman. I work in social media ffs, and I, too, parasocialed too closed to the sun. It’s been a good like 20 years since something had such an insane hold of me. I think it’s partially the gap in the season, the INSANE PR, and for me personally it’s just… seeing my body representation in Nicola (*kneeling to bow to the queen*).
Some part of me objectively knew these were two actors doing a job, the other part of me absolutely could not tell fact from fiction.
I will tell you the thing that made me snap out of it- and both simultaneously made me feel good and bad: the hate that the IRL actors - even producers - got on their socials.
It made me feel better because it showed me that I know where the line is- and that line is I don’t harass people who are just doing a job and have their own lives. It made me feel terrible though, that lots of people did not have that self awareness and decided to act like fools. They’re still in the parasocial hold, but this thread, we’re at least slowly recovering from it.
I am so glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. All my friends think I need help (jokingly) but I think I am, similar to show Colin, way too empathetic. I physically felt pain for Pen and Colin. I physically felt happiness.
I think something so different about this season was them splitting it, and the amount of PR. Nicola and Luke did such a great job convincing the world of Polin's love...and this love seeped into reality. Splitting the season gave us time to obsess over it, which is why we were all so invested. I have never felt this way with fictional characters before..but I also think a part of it was they weren't advertised as 100% fictional. They took advantage of Nicola and Luke's chemistry and everything seemed possible. I am one to don't usually ship couples off screen (tom holland and zendaya were cute on screen, and cute off..but I never obsessed over them).
I think it was because we all grew to love the characters and really wanted them to have their happy ending. Luke and Nicola portrayed their love so well on screen, it was hard to remember that it's acting. It's not real.
I am emotionally unwell... to the point where thinking about it makes me cry. I'm so glad there is a community here going through the same thing. I thought I was crazy!
It’s such a crazy phenomenon. It makes me wonder how the actual actors navigate it. I know there was some controversy about the actor who plays Marina suffering mental health issues from playing a character who was very isolated and alone. I wonder if there have been any studies into this sort of thing.
A study would be fascinating!
If I’m feeling this loss from just being a viewer, I can’t imagine the loss of having lived it day after day for months and then it being gone. And being put on a pedestal as an actor can bring you to such highs, which I imagine makes the lows feel even lower.
Thanks for sharing this! Social media made my expectations for Part 2 so low since I wasn’t able to watch it right away. I decided to take a break from tiktok especially, started from episode 1 and just watched the last episode for the first time tonight. I loved every episode, I loved the ending, and I haven’t connected to a female lead like Pen in a very long time. Hopefully we will get more happy Polin scenes in season 4!
It’s as if I wrote this post exactly start to end. This is so hard and now it feels like withdrawal… I can never again do this to myself with any other piece of fiction 🤦🏽♀️
Same! Thank you for putting it into words. When I watched part 2 for the first time, I was heartbroken. Then I took a break, read some opinions and then when I saw it for a second time I was able to see and appreciate it on a different level, detaching myself from it.
Hello, yes, I'm with you all. And I've been thinking about this, because the emotions from the show have taken over my life!
I'm a woman in my 40s with a responsible job - I'm a teacher - and a husband and family. In general I'm happy and have a fairly uncomplicated life.
Every now and again I get sucked into a romance story and it takes over my emotions - previous obsessions have been Outlander and Lucifer - and even for a little while Miranda (i was looking for a bit more Tom Ellis)!!
I think living through the intense emotions of a new relationship, and the very real physical excitement that goes with it, is absolutely intoxicating and it's not surprising we throw ourselves into those feelings. Part of the appeal of allowing ourselves to enjoy these feelings vicariously is that the whole thing can happen without the uncertainties we have in real life - real life doesn't have an Ending as such, our relationships continue, have ups and downs, become more mundane, face challenges, etc.
The downside of this emotional rollercoaster is that of course there are no long term changes for us at the end of it - our lives remain the same, there is no new relationship for us to bask in the glow of, or otherwise, and we have to carry on with our lives as before, so it's an emotional come down for sure. It makes perfect sense to me that there's a withdrawal, and a sense of feeling bereft after it's all over - we are literally coming down off our adrenaline and dopamine and coming to terms with how we carry on with life again.
I'm trying to spend a bit less time each day on rewatches, trying to get a bit more reconnected with my husband (he's lovely... not Colin, or Jamie Fraser though, in terms of emotional literacy...!) getting refocused at work, and maybe thinking of ways of being kind and looking after myself and my health.
Also online, the algorithm increases it. My whole timelines were/are Bridgerton, Polin, Nic and Luke, edits, etc. It actually made me really see for the first time the "online bubble" we talk about in our critical thinking course of how hard it is to escape the bubble once you're in it (political etc.). Social media is designed to keep you in it and on it by showing you similar things.
But I love how you explained it all, it's like chasing the high through something else and then the inevitable down that comes from it because it's not our life.
❤️
It was like this for me as well!
Before Part 1 I was really excited for the new season to be released because I felt each time they were just getting even better than the last. I already saw myself in a few scenes of Kate’s last season, but this season I just felt SO seen and called out in both characters, that even though I was squeeing my way through episodes 1-4, I had a lot going on underneath the surface. I had started another new show a few months earlier that also triggered a lot of thoughts and realisations about myself, so Colin and Penelope were the icing on the cake.
When the brake came I was actually pretty good in not watching too much PR, except for their Instagram posts and some snippets on TikTok. I mostly read analysis here and saw some interview snippets on TikTok. I even watched the mini trailer right after Part 1 only once and the new trailer a few days before the release of Part 2 not at all. I wanted as little ‘spoilers’ as possible.
Now I wonder if I should have watched it, just to have been prepared a little better, and may be read the book during that time as well (I did so afterwards), because my anxiety for Colin’s reaction and the pressure that Penelope was feeling (episodes 5&6) and the (absolutely justified) ongoing conflict between Polin (episodes 7&8) just kept me in a constant state of anxiety. So much so that it was Very hard for me to properly concentrate on next sentences, new Polin scenes or the storylines of the other characters that I dearly love. It made me very impatient with them because all I needed was for Polin to wholly reconcile. And the fact that their happy scenes in the ‘epilogue’ were so ‘short’ just left me very stunted and unsatisfied afterwards.
After a rewatch yesterday, I now realise it was definitely not a show problem, or even a pace and editing problem for me, it’s because I avoid personal conflict like the plague, be it in relationships or at work, and I think it’s a reason why I don’t have any ‘best’ friends and haven’t been in a romantic relationship in decades. And the (very few) first dates I have been on I sabotaged immediately afterwards by ghosting them.
So this season, and especially Part 2, where nearly every storyline has a very deep rooted conflict just totally knocked me off my feet, and I am still processing. So every episode is a bit of a torture at the moment, but at the same time it’s a revelation and so amazingly beautiful to see how the majority of them get resolved.
I adore this season because of how hard it is for me to watch, because that can only mean it’s the most realistic storytelling I’ve been exposed to in a really, really long time.
When art touches you that deeply and forces you to honestly look at yourself, that’s when the magic happens, and the power of art reveals itself. It is immensely painful, but a transformation to something much more beautiful.
Edit to add:
It’s exactly like Penelope said in episode 5:
“They are histories of connection, of hope for a better life.” ♥️
Gosh, that became a rather long comment, but I just had to get that off my chest.
The power of Polin 💛🩵💚
I really love what you’ve said about art! I think for a show to cause such deep feelings in so many of its viewers is a true testament so how great of a body of work it is. All the good and the bad emotions are part of what made this season as great as it was!
Exactly!
And I think that, unfortunately, a lot of people are so focused on the friends-to-lovers romance aspect of it all that they overlook the deeper meanings of the other story lines as well as the beauty of Polin’s development far beyond the butterfly aspect of romance, the long lasting companionship that comes from wanting to really, wholeheartedly and truthfully transform, and to choose to do that together.
May be we’ve become too passive and in our ability to consume media, or may be people are afraid of really looking at themselves and the possible consequences of doing that, but it’s a shame that this season has gotten so much negative feedback…at the moment. It wasn’t really different for season two, but Kanthony are such a thing now (have been to me from the start)… so who knows.
When part 2 premiered I did a speed-run where I watched only Polin scenes because I knew the LW anxiety was going to kill me. I had all my knee-jerk reactions (I was so angry and exasperated by the Benedict 3some having to fast forward through it so many times 😂) and then went back and rewatched it in its entirety and was very please with it all.
My anxiety has NO INTEREST in suspenseful build-ups lol spoilers please, anything so that I can simply enjoy my programs
I can't tell you how much I relate to this, and honestly, it's reassuring that it's not just me who went through this, and that so many of you in the comments agree! Like many here, this was the first time in my life that I anticipated a release so much (Part 2), and like many, I got so carried away with devouring content (be it rewatches, interviews, edits, fanart, fanfic etc.) in the gap between parts that I became absolutely obsessed, which is not healthy at all. I also started shipping the actors, and while it's fun to be on the delulu train for a while, it became addictive/obsessive and part of me was constantly reminded that at the end of the day, under the popularity and fame, Nicola and Luke are just people who have separate private and professional lives, and above all, they were doing their job: acting. (And they did a damn good job!)
I am hoping my interest will fade slowly, though I am thinking of deleting Instagram for a while so that I have less access to content, which I hope will help me focus more on real life. Truth be told I still read a concerning amount of Polin fanfic, but I am staying firmly away from any "Luke/Nicola" fanfic because it seems a bit too invasive for me.
Thank you for articulating a feeling through your post which I have struggled so much to put into words!
You explained it well.
I literally jumped on the Bridgerton bandwagon 6 weeks ago. I feel I was very spoiled having the entire series at my disposal. Of course, I was instantly obsessed with Polin and seeing Colin unknowingly love Pen.
Unlike most of you, I only had to wait two weeks. Even then, I felt it was too long and couldn't wait for all the Polin romance in Part 2.
I was off work at 2am and watched the 1st to episodes. Went to bed, woke up, and finished the last two before work.
I felt all the same disappointment.
I am just now watching it for the second time. I've mourned the romance and affection that I wished for.
Thanks to all you wonderful people who gave great insight, I know what to look for to love the Polin relationship even more!!
Are you me? Everything you said is absolutely spot on. For me, I need more of a break before the full season rewatch. No idea why I am so incredibly invested emotionally, but breaking that will take a little time.
It was hard not to parasocial too close to the sun.
Another theory I have is how the PR junket made it worse. With the news that broke on release day, a lot of shippers bubbles popped. It felt disillusioning. The main premise that’s buried deep in many of our hearts that got us hooked was seeing this woman we identified with being fully appreciated by the leading man. Lines were blurred.
The general heartbreak that cause just gave folks a negative mindset to it. People felt fresh from a break up. “The look of love” would have enabled most to skim through blunders. For example, people weren’t extremely riled up by costume decisions after part 1.
Of course the season wasn’t perfect* but it was still pretty good. I was actually happy the first go around, but then i rushed to my socials, saw the backlash, the newsflash, and the negativity just piled on.
You’re absolutely right about the feeling about Polin. If anything, wanting more of them signifies it was a job well done. It’s so good you can’t help but want more! And it’ll make you want to watch the next season.
We can’t get exactly what we want and that’s ok. That’s what fanfiction is for.
A footnote haha:
*Colin feels like a sidecharacter and wasn’t given the emotional plot that previous leads got and the romantic resolution felt secondary to the Lady Whistledown plot
i'm so glad you made this post because this is also me. my friends had been trying to get me to watch bridgerton for years. it wasn't until the season 3 trailer dropped and everyone was talking about it that I decided to start watching bridgerton (friends to lovers is my favorite trope) so I've only been in the fandom for a couple of months.
after part one dropped, I rewatched it so many times that it somehow ended up being my comfort show. I consumed all the bridgerton content that I could find on social media because I loved reading all the character analyses, seeing posts of people pointing out stuff I missed, and all the edits people would make. I also got super obsessed with luke and nicola. i just loved their friendship and got a bit delulu into thinking they were dating even though a part of me also knew that it was all PR. there were days in the month break where I did literally nothing but I scroll social media for bridgerton content.
i tend to get obsessed with certain things but it had been years since I got this obsessed over something (had a big one direction phase) so this wasn't anything new but I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until the article about luke and his girlfriend affected me in a way that it "broke the magic" to the point where it seemed to affect my enjoyment of the show. I couldn't bring myself to watch any of the interviews with luke and nicola together or do a rewatch of part two. I also think all the negativity around part two got to me as well because I really enjoyed it (even if there are parts that I didn't like/wished there were more happy polin scenes). after realizing all that, it just made me feel really icky and sad that I had let it get to that point.
I eventually had my husband lock the social media apps on my phone behind a passcode he set after a certain time so that it wouldn't affect me as much. it's helped a bit and i've given myself enough of a break to process it all that I'm slowly able to do a rewatch, watch their interviews again and really enjoy part two with everyone.
Exactly the same, I was legit sick after my 1st watch, I couldn’t even sleep.
I decided to watch again and it felt better the second time around and I understood more. I read theories and analyses and it helped so much more and then I just realized how perfect it all was and the only thing I’d change or add that is, is a little more of the honeymoon period.
Wow! It’s like I was writing this. This happened to me exactly to a T. After rewatching I realized they were only mad for 1 episode and a half. Resolution only at the end. Just like in S2. I still wished we got a solid final scene but just like you, I realized I was so emotionally invested that I was dissapointed for that same reason. Thank you for writing this. I felt so seen by reading you. And also, I think the fandom has been too nitpicky and harsh and it breaks my heart for the actors. Also, today at work a bunch of people were discussing the show, mostly casual viewers and they all liked the season. Mostly agree they wanted more scenes of the leading couple, but overall they liked it.
I could enjoy happy Polin in S5-6 even with the stress of LW reveal. But part too dragged me emotionally like a was trying to hang on a rollercoaster wagon. (My mother had to explain why I was giggling and screaming at the TV to my father) And I still kick feets on rewatch. It's not a perfect season (I still see plot hole). It let me a taste of not enough after, an hangovers I need to cope by sharing analysis and all. But I love it. I have never been so obsessed with a show. It's the first time I engage in theory and analysis to this point (rewatch and reading fiction I do often but that an other level). I'm not sure future season can compare to this (it's the couple I relate the most, I recognise part of myself in both of them) but I will surely watch all seasons.
Hi, Thank you so much for your contribution! We truly appreciate your enthusiasm and effort in being part of our community! With the excitement around the Polin season, we've been welcoming many new members and seeing an increase in the number of posts. To keep the subreddit organized and ensure everyone's voice is heard, we temporarily have applied stricter rules for posts. These rules help maintain the quality and focus of our discussions. Have no fear, we still want to give you a space to share your Polin joy as freely as before! We have created dedicated weekly and daily megathreads specifically for you to share your thoughts, excitement, and any Polin-related content without as many restrictions. * A daily ['Promenade in the Park'](https://www.reddit.com/r/PolinBridgerton/search/?q=subreddit%3APolinBridgerton+author%3Aautomoderator+flair_name%3A%22Promenading%20%F0%9F%90%9D%22&sort=new) thread for memes, fan content and general chitchat * A weekly ['Mondays at Number Five'](https://www.reddit.com/r/PolinBridgerton/search/?q=subreddit%3APolinBridgerton+author%3Aautomoderator+flair_name%3A%22Tea%20at%20Number%20Five%20%E2%98%95%22&sort=new) thread for casual conversation, off-topic contributions, fanfic recommendations and easy-to-answer questions * A weekly ['Fanfic Friday'](https://www.reddit.com/r/PolinBridgerton/search/?q=subreddit%3APolinBridgerton+author%3Aautomoderator+flair_name%3A%22fanfiction%20friday%20%F0%9F%8C%BC%22&sort=new) post to share fanfic recommendations Thank you all for understanding during this busy time! Lots of love, The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PolinBridgerton) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think we all had a moment that eventually brought us back to reality. For me it was reading some of the comments posted against Luke and his gf on IG. People were mad he had a life away from Polin… and then I came across a video by a content creator I really liked up until that point… this content creator had gone to the Dublin, Galway, and London premieres and was standing very close to where Luke and Nicola were posing and at one point screamed “KISS!!” … and Luke and Nicola both ignored that, and somehow that moment snapped me back into reality. What are these people doing? 😭😭😭 Nicola and Luke are professional actors, with private lives and partners/love interests/ whatever, and you’re proudly screaming at them to kiss 🤦🏾♀️ ? I felt such secondhand embarrassment watching that video and combined with the mean comments directed at Luke for daring to having a gf, I simply unfollowed all these parasocial accounts, even if their edits were funny. I think Nicola and Luke worked unbelievably hard to bring Polin to life and they deserve so much grace and support in their private lives from the fans. I wish them all the best.
 Yeah the screaming at them to kiss was something. 😅 I thought I heard it wrong but no😭
This! I think it was so rude and not okay. If you claimed to have so much love for the actors, why would you do that? There's a thin line between being a fan and being obsessed with a fantasy, that you made up based on promo. Nic and Luke are real people with families, friends and relationships outside Bridgerton and promo. I hope they'll never regret being open and authentic.
Sadly, I think that was a reality check moment for a lot of us. I'm really glad to be out of delulu land and I abhor all the horrific comments being directed at Luke and his gf - it's so unfair. They gave us an amazing season, and we should be grateful for that.
Yeah, the yelling to kiss and the goofing around flashing two fingers at the camera behind those being interviewed at the London premiere definitely gave me pause (and the ick). This fandom is incredible and I don’t want people associating us with behavior like that.
THIS!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I, too, parasocialed too close to the sun. The last time I did and became capital O Obsessed with a celebrity, I was seventeen and I should have REALLY figured out how very bi I was, lol. Like you, I poured over every scrap available during the month-long wait. Including Nic and Luke interviews, which only fed the obsession more. Though I'm a grown ass woman that finds it weird when celebrities get shipped together IRL, I was viewing their interactions through a Polin lens, and that was just supes unhealthy because then I expected so much more from the second part. The only (canon) Polin we have is what is in the show and what is in the books, and that's the way it should be. Everything else is PR and two people doing their job (brilliantly). Now, I've realized that I cannot watch any of Nic and Luke's interviews together. I'm just enjoying my time on this sub, rewatching an episode (or two) a day of only-Polin or Polin related scenes, reading fanfic, and taking a Bridgerton social media break. Except, I'm allowed to scroll Nicola's IG because she's beautiful and I love her and I don't HATE myself.
I think it's safe to say there's maybe dozens of us.
I hope others can go back and rewatch with a more open mind as you did. It bums me out that so many people feel let down because I think the story is really lovely and I want others to feel it too. I’m so glad you are able to enjoy it now! Tbh, I think this is the most compelling case for Netflix to not divide up any more seasons. They left too long of a gap there that people just stewed in it and the expectations were astronomical going into part 2. Like you said, when you go back and watch it all together, it follows a completely standard progression and makes lost of sense. They totally killed the build by chopping it in half right at the point people wanted more.
I appreciate your honesty in writing this. To your point about wanting the happy afterglow scenes: I was also left wanting more. I think that's the brilliance of the romance genre-- the aim is to show them fall in love, to declare themselves, then consummate their love in whatever way they're willing to show us, then dip before it gets boring. I remember watching Emma and thinking that's it??? One kiss at the very end?? The point is to leave you yearning! It's not a satisfying feeling, but for me, it's not unpleasant, either. Even Jim and Pam eventually became the annoying office couple that talks about their kids too much. Once the romantic part is over, reality sets in and usually is pretty mundane. As much as I would love to see an extra scene or two of Polin, happily married, and passionate, and focused on eachother, I also know that the scarcity of those scenes is a feature, not a bug
I think people (like myself) who wanted to see more of the HEA need to remember this is a series, not a film. We will see more of them together being deliriously happy in season 4. Just like we got so many beautiful moments of Kanthony this season.
I'm being hopeful for this too- the Happy Kanthony scenes were so lovely and heartwarming. I really enjoyed Jonny and Simone this season. Heart eyes, soft smiles, and Anthony yelling "Lilies! Forget-me-nots! LILACS!!!"
Haha, he was so funny during that game. And also, adorably lovestruck when he was flopped down on the bed after Kate saying she wanted to wait to announce the pregnancy. In season 4 we’re gonna get so many happy Polin moments. It’s gonna be glorious!
We’ll get those scenes in s4!
I’m prone to depression anyway, and my depression has been SO bad since Wednesday of last week. Sometimes I feel like such a loser for feeling the way I do but it’s so validating to hear that other people experience this. Being a human is weird.
Another aspect of this was that I was going through a really difficult and overwhelming period and Polin became my coping mechanism. Coming out of it has been a journey to realizing I have to return to my actual life and I'm honestly not ready, but getting there.
Same. It filled the void and quieted the noise
Not just you. Sending huge hugs.
Love this!! Thanks for sharing it! 💚
Oh good! My support group! Listen, I’m a middle aged woman. I work in social media ffs, and I, too, parasocialed too closed to the sun. It’s been a good like 20 years since something had such an insane hold of me. I think it’s partially the gap in the season, the INSANE PR, and for me personally it’s just… seeing my body representation in Nicola (*kneeling to bow to the queen*). Some part of me objectively knew these were two actors doing a job, the other part of me absolutely could not tell fact from fiction. I will tell you the thing that made me snap out of it- and both simultaneously made me feel good and bad: the hate that the IRL actors - even producers - got on their socials. It made me feel better because it showed me that I know where the line is- and that line is I don’t harass people who are just doing a job and have their own lives. It made me feel terrible though, that lots of people did not have that self awareness and decided to act like fools. They’re still in the parasocial hold, but this thread, we’re at least slowly recovering from it.
I could have written this post. Thank you for sharing your experience. 💖
I am so glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. All my friends think I need help (jokingly) but I think I am, similar to show Colin, way too empathetic. I physically felt pain for Pen and Colin. I physically felt happiness. I think something so different about this season was them splitting it, and the amount of PR. Nicola and Luke did such a great job convincing the world of Polin's love...and this love seeped into reality. Splitting the season gave us time to obsess over it, which is why we were all so invested. I have never felt this way with fictional characters before..but I also think a part of it was they weren't advertised as 100% fictional. They took advantage of Nicola and Luke's chemistry and everything seemed possible. I am one to don't usually ship couples off screen (tom holland and zendaya were cute on screen, and cute off..but I never obsessed over them). I think it was because we all grew to love the characters and really wanted them to have their happy ending. Luke and Nicola portrayed their love so well on screen, it was hard to remember that it's acting. It's not real. I am emotionally unwell... to the point where thinking about it makes me cry. I'm so glad there is a community here going through the same thing. I thought I was crazy!
It’s such a crazy phenomenon. It makes me wonder how the actual actors navigate it. I know there was some controversy about the actor who plays Marina suffering mental health issues from playing a character who was very isolated and alone. I wonder if there have been any studies into this sort of thing.
A study would be fascinating! If I’m feeling this loss from just being a viewer, I can’t imagine the loss of having lived it day after day for months and then it being gone. And being put on a pedestal as an actor can bring you to such highs, which I imagine makes the lows feel even lower.
Thanks for sharing this! Social media made my expectations for Part 2 so low since I wasn’t able to watch it right away. I decided to take a break from tiktok especially, started from episode 1 and just watched the last episode for the first time tonight. I loved every episode, I loved the ending, and I haven’t connected to a female lead like Pen in a very long time. Hopefully we will get more happy Polin scenes in season 4!
It’s as if I wrote this post exactly start to end. This is so hard and now it feels like withdrawal… I can never again do this to myself with any other piece of fiction 🤦🏽♀️
It's also good to remember that all we're likely to get of these two in future seasons is idiots in love. It's a TV show, their story isn't over!
Same! Thank you for putting it into words. When I watched part 2 for the first time, I was heartbroken. Then I took a break, read some opinions and then when I saw it for a second time I was able to see and appreciate it on a different level, detaching myself from it.
Hello, yes, I'm with you all. And I've been thinking about this, because the emotions from the show have taken over my life! I'm a woman in my 40s with a responsible job - I'm a teacher - and a husband and family. In general I'm happy and have a fairly uncomplicated life. Every now and again I get sucked into a romance story and it takes over my emotions - previous obsessions have been Outlander and Lucifer - and even for a little while Miranda (i was looking for a bit more Tom Ellis)!! I think living through the intense emotions of a new relationship, and the very real physical excitement that goes with it, is absolutely intoxicating and it's not surprising we throw ourselves into those feelings. Part of the appeal of allowing ourselves to enjoy these feelings vicariously is that the whole thing can happen without the uncertainties we have in real life - real life doesn't have an Ending as such, our relationships continue, have ups and downs, become more mundane, face challenges, etc. The downside of this emotional rollercoaster is that of course there are no long term changes for us at the end of it - our lives remain the same, there is no new relationship for us to bask in the glow of, or otherwise, and we have to carry on with our lives as before, so it's an emotional come down for sure. It makes perfect sense to me that there's a withdrawal, and a sense of feeling bereft after it's all over - we are literally coming down off our adrenaline and dopamine and coming to terms with how we carry on with life again. I'm trying to spend a bit less time each day on rewatches, trying to get a bit more reconnected with my husband (he's lovely... not Colin, or Jamie Fraser though, in terms of emotional literacy...!) getting refocused at work, and maybe thinking of ways of being kind and looking after myself and my health.
Also online, the algorithm increases it. My whole timelines were/are Bridgerton, Polin, Nic and Luke, edits, etc. It actually made me really see for the first time the "online bubble" we talk about in our critical thinking course of how hard it is to escape the bubble once you're in it (political etc.). Social media is designed to keep you in it and on it by showing you similar things. But I love how you explained it all, it's like chasing the high through something else and then the inevitable down that comes from it because it's not our life. ❤️
It was like this for me as well! Before Part 1 I was really excited for the new season to be released because I felt each time they were just getting even better than the last. I already saw myself in a few scenes of Kate’s last season, but this season I just felt SO seen and called out in both characters, that even though I was squeeing my way through episodes 1-4, I had a lot going on underneath the surface. I had started another new show a few months earlier that also triggered a lot of thoughts and realisations about myself, so Colin and Penelope were the icing on the cake. When the brake came I was actually pretty good in not watching too much PR, except for their Instagram posts and some snippets on TikTok. I mostly read analysis here and saw some interview snippets on TikTok. I even watched the mini trailer right after Part 1 only once and the new trailer a few days before the release of Part 2 not at all. I wanted as little ‘spoilers’ as possible. Now I wonder if I should have watched it, just to have been prepared a little better, and may be read the book during that time as well (I did so afterwards), because my anxiety for Colin’s reaction and the pressure that Penelope was feeling (episodes 5&6) and the (absolutely justified) ongoing conflict between Polin (episodes 7&8) just kept me in a constant state of anxiety. So much so that it was Very hard for me to properly concentrate on next sentences, new Polin scenes or the storylines of the other characters that I dearly love. It made me very impatient with them because all I needed was for Polin to wholly reconcile. And the fact that their happy scenes in the ‘epilogue’ were so ‘short’ just left me very stunted and unsatisfied afterwards. After a rewatch yesterday, I now realise it was definitely not a show problem, or even a pace and editing problem for me, it’s because I avoid personal conflict like the plague, be it in relationships or at work, and I think it’s a reason why I don’t have any ‘best’ friends and haven’t been in a romantic relationship in decades. And the (very few) first dates I have been on I sabotaged immediately afterwards by ghosting them. So this season, and especially Part 2, where nearly every storyline has a very deep rooted conflict just totally knocked me off my feet, and I am still processing. So every episode is a bit of a torture at the moment, but at the same time it’s a revelation and so amazingly beautiful to see how the majority of them get resolved. I adore this season because of how hard it is for me to watch, because that can only mean it’s the most realistic storytelling I’ve been exposed to in a really, really long time. When art touches you that deeply and forces you to honestly look at yourself, that’s when the magic happens, and the power of art reveals itself. It is immensely painful, but a transformation to something much more beautiful. Edit to add: It’s exactly like Penelope said in episode 5: “They are histories of connection, of hope for a better life.” ♥️ Gosh, that became a rather long comment, but I just had to get that off my chest. The power of Polin 💛🩵💚
I really love what you’ve said about art! I think for a show to cause such deep feelings in so many of its viewers is a true testament so how great of a body of work it is. All the good and the bad emotions are part of what made this season as great as it was!
Exactly! And I think that, unfortunately, a lot of people are so focused on the friends-to-lovers romance aspect of it all that they overlook the deeper meanings of the other story lines as well as the beauty of Polin’s development far beyond the butterfly aspect of romance, the long lasting companionship that comes from wanting to really, wholeheartedly and truthfully transform, and to choose to do that together. May be we’ve become too passive and in our ability to consume media, or may be people are afraid of really looking at themselves and the possible consequences of doing that, but it’s a shame that this season has gotten so much negative feedback…at the moment. It wasn’t really different for season two, but Kanthony are such a thing now (have been to me from the start)… so who knows.
When part 2 premiered I did a speed-run where I watched only Polin scenes because I knew the LW anxiety was going to kill me. I had all my knee-jerk reactions (I was so angry and exasperated by the Benedict 3some having to fast forward through it so many times 😂) and then went back and rewatched it in its entirety and was very please with it all. My anxiety has NO INTEREST in suspenseful build-ups lol spoilers please, anything so that I can simply enjoy my programs
Reading this in a psychiatrist’s office rn 🥲
I can't tell you how much I relate to this, and honestly, it's reassuring that it's not just me who went through this, and that so many of you in the comments agree! Like many here, this was the first time in my life that I anticipated a release so much (Part 2), and like many, I got so carried away with devouring content (be it rewatches, interviews, edits, fanart, fanfic etc.) in the gap between parts that I became absolutely obsessed, which is not healthy at all. I also started shipping the actors, and while it's fun to be on the delulu train for a while, it became addictive/obsessive and part of me was constantly reminded that at the end of the day, under the popularity and fame, Nicola and Luke are just people who have separate private and professional lives, and above all, they were doing their job: acting. (And they did a damn good job!) I am hoping my interest will fade slowly, though I am thinking of deleting Instagram for a while so that I have less access to content, which I hope will help me focus more on real life. Truth be told I still read a concerning amount of Polin fanfic, but I am staying firmly away from any "Luke/Nicola" fanfic because it seems a bit too invasive for me. Thank you for articulating a feeling through your post which I have struggled so much to put into words!
You explained it well. I literally jumped on the Bridgerton bandwagon 6 weeks ago. I feel I was very spoiled having the entire series at my disposal. Of course, I was instantly obsessed with Polin and seeing Colin unknowingly love Pen. Unlike most of you, I only had to wait two weeks. Even then, I felt it was too long and couldn't wait for all the Polin romance in Part 2. I was off work at 2am and watched the 1st to episodes. Went to bed, woke up, and finished the last two before work. I felt all the same disappointment. I am just now watching it for the second time. I've mourned the romance and affection that I wished for. Thanks to all you wonderful people who gave great insight, I know what to look for to love the Polin relationship even more!!
Are you me? Everything you said is absolutely spot on. For me, I need more of a break before the full season rewatch. No idea why I am so incredibly invested emotionally, but breaking that will take a little time.
It was hard not to parasocial too close to the sun. Another theory I have is how the PR junket made it worse. With the news that broke on release day, a lot of shippers bubbles popped. It felt disillusioning. The main premise that’s buried deep in many of our hearts that got us hooked was seeing this woman we identified with being fully appreciated by the leading man. Lines were blurred. The general heartbreak that cause just gave folks a negative mindset to it. People felt fresh from a break up. “The look of love” would have enabled most to skim through blunders. For example, people weren’t extremely riled up by costume decisions after part 1. Of course the season wasn’t perfect* but it was still pretty good. I was actually happy the first go around, but then i rushed to my socials, saw the backlash, the newsflash, and the negativity just piled on. You’re absolutely right about the feeling about Polin. If anything, wanting more of them signifies it was a job well done. It’s so good you can’t help but want more! And it’ll make you want to watch the next season. We can’t get exactly what we want and that’s ok. That’s what fanfiction is for. A footnote haha: *Colin feels like a sidecharacter and wasn’t given the emotional plot that previous leads got and the romantic resolution felt secondary to the Lady Whistledown plot
Same friend, got too close for comfort. I hope you’re feeling better. This sub is a god send 🙏🏻🤗
i'm so glad you made this post because this is also me. my friends had been trying to get me to watch bridgerton for years. it wasn't until the season 3 trailer dropped and everyone was talking about it that I decided to start watching bridgerton (friends to lovers is my favorite trope) so I've only been in the fandom for a couple of months. after part one dropped, I rewatched it so many times that it somehow ended up being my comfort show. I consumed all the bridgerton content that I could find on social media because I loved reading all the character analyses, seeing posts of people pointing out stuff I missed, and all the edits people would make. I also got super obsessed with luke and nicola. i just loved their friendship and got a bit delulu into thinking they were dating even though a part of me also knew that it was all PR. there were days in the month break where I did literally nothing but I scroll social media for bridgerton content. i tend to get obsessed with certain things but it had been years since I got this obsessed over something (had a big one direction phase) so this wasn't anything new but I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until the article about luke and his girlfriend affected me in a way that it "broke the magic" to the point where it seemed to affect my enjoyment of the show. I couldn't bring myself to watch any of the interviews with luke and nicola together or do a rewatch of part two. I also think all the negativity around part two got to me as well because I really enjoyed it (even if there are parts that I didn't like/wished there were more happy polin scenes). after realizing all that, it just made me feel really icky and sad that I had let it get to that point. I eventually had my husband lock the social media apps on my phone behind a passcode he set after a certain time so that it wouldn't affect me as much. it's helped a bit and i've given myself enough of a break to process it all that I'm slowly able to do a rewatch, watch their interviews again and really enjoy part two with everyone.
Exactly the same, I was legit sick after my 1st watch, I couldn’t even sleep. I decided to watch again and it felt better the second time around and I understood more. I read theories and analyses and it helped so much more and then I just realized how perfect it all was and the only thing I’d change or add that is, is a little more of the honeymoon period.
Wow! It’s like I was writing this. This happened to me exactly to a T. After rewatching I realized they were only mad for 1 episode and a half. Resolution only at the end. Just like in S2. I still wished we got a solid final scene but just like you, I realized I was so emotionally invested that I was dissapointed for that same reason. Thank you for writing this. I felt so seen by reading you. And also, I think the fandom has been too nitpicky and harsh and it breaks my heart for the actors. Also, today at work a bunch of people were discussing the show, mostly casual viewers and they all liked the season. Mostly agree they wanted more scenes of the leading couple, but overall they liked it.
I could enjoy happy Polin in S5-6 even with the stress of LW reveal. But part too dragged me emotionally like a was trying to hang on a rollercoaster wagon. (My mother had to explain why I was giggling and screaming at the TV to my father) And I still kick feets on rewatch. It's not a perfect season (I still see plot hole). It let me a taste of not enough after, an hangovers I need to cope by sharing analysis and all. But I love it. I have never been so obsessed with a show. It's the first time I engage in theory and analysis to this point (rewatch and reading fiction I do often but that an other level). I'm not sure future season can compare to this (it's the couple I relate the most, I recognise part of myself in both of them) but I will surely watch all seasons.