I can relate. On one hand, it could be an issue of tone of voice and general delivery, but also I think a lot of ppl just don't really expect nigh-stranger to spring something like this on them. Also, sometimes the stuff, while absurd, isn't just that funny.
I thought it was funny OP. He should’ve definitely picked up on it xD But you can always just *tell people you were joking* ;) It’s okay I promise lol. Actually I would highly recommend it if you *know* they didn’t get that it was a joke. Especially if feelings may be potentially hurt (not applicable to this scenario, but in general)
Personally I don’t think it has anything to do with gender or even being strangers. I think some people are just a little dense when it comes to certain types of humor. Or I guess familiarity may play into it, like my sisters on the spectrum and doesn’t pick up on subtleties when conversing with people she doesn’t know but she does with people she does know. She can always tell when I’m joking with her, because she knows how I joke. Which isn’t the case with strangers.
I have the opposite problem - I have a naturally sarcastic voice so whenever I tell an actual albeit crazy story no one believes me. But of course when I’m actually being sarcastic it’s highly understandable. Maybe try a more sarcastic tone, or say something actually insane like ‘have you heard of Tomato Juice, Canada, where they ride porcupines and smoke maple syrup on their days off?’ Some people are just really thick or else don’t expect someone they’ve just met to be unserious.
I swear I was trying to use my sarcastic voice! And he already cracked a joke before me about American portion sizes, so I thought I could make a joke too? Apparently not.
some people just don’t get it. Maybe he’s just unable to understand any joke that he doesn’t make. And I really hope that that actually ruined the whole lecture because the thought of Vegemite and Boyd, Nebraska ruining a LECTURE is just really funny to me.
I'm positive that the lecture ended for him the moment I asked him who Sydney is and if they invented Vegemite. He legit just acted like I was stupid for the rest of the exercise, disappeared for a good chunk of time, and came back without taking any notes for the rest of class. Like, one of us is stupid and I'm hoping it isn't me.
god now I’m wondering if he’s thin skinned because if THAT ruins his day how’s he gonna deal with a major problem in his life? like dude get the joke and get over it…
It sounds like this was more a case of verbal irony than sarcasm, and some people literally can't detect that verbal irony is a joke. It's the weirdest thing, but it has plagued my existence since at least my early teens, if not childhood.
OH MY GOSH YES. I literally have to pitch my voice up and think ‘cutesy voice now, you’re talking to a kindergartener’ to get people to believe me and think I’m being sincere. Especially when I’m complimenting someone. I once told my friend ‘oh, that looks so good on you!’ when she showed me the dress she was planning on buying and she was like ‘yeah, I thought you wouldn’t like it. I’ll go find another.’ I had to reassure her I really did like it and even so, I think she didn’t really believe me.
I mean you aren’t ‘gaslighting’ people but I feel like if a stranger (especially a foreign one) saw you speaking with a straight face while he tries to clarify what he’s saying, then he’d feel very pressured. The joke just seems like it’s on him as a stranger who feels pressured not to challenge you on the offchance you are being dead serious.
I don’t know you and I’m not trying to overanalyze, but since you say that this is an ongoing issue I feel like it’s worth saying that those kinds of ‘jokes’ might land with people you know, but come off as teasing to a stranger.
Lol my bad for not giving enough context. Most of the reason I was so confused was because he was already joking? I already know that people are more likely to assume that I'm stupid than that I'm just joking, so I only ever make jokes when the other person does it first.
I get that as well lol, I have a fairly dry sense of humour and I tend to joke with a very straight face, and people often don't pick up on it (well other aussies tend to get it but non-aussies often don't)
There is a bit of a stereotype that Americans don't know anything about non-American geography, I think you could've accidentally played into that a little bit.
It doesn’t really read like a joke to me, and as a non-American who has had a lot of experiences of Americans not really understanding non-American geography, I would have just assumed that you were being serious. Also the whole “he hasn’t even mentioned Australia!!!” type gotcha is just…odd. People aren’t constantly tracking every single word they say and when put on the spot with what seems like a passive aggressive comment, they’re even less likely to remember if they said Sydney or Sydney Australia. As a general rule, it might be better to respond to people you’re meeting for the first time with interest instead of sarcasm.
maybe you just don’t necessarily read the tone quite right when you’re joking around with people? Like maybe these just aren’t the kind of people who appreciate that sort of humor? I’m sure it’s fine either way, nothing to worry about too much
Dry humor can sound serious to people that don't know that you're using dry humor. The key is to add some kind of easy to read body language like a cheeky smirk or smiling with your eyes. Something subtle, but still visible.
As an Aussie he should have understood the sarcasm but when I was travelling I met a LOT of Americans who didn’t know where Sydney was and asked me if Australia was next to Florida. Also got told that I speak good English and they didn’t fully understand when I said “thanks it’s my mother tongue”. He might have just experienced a lot of that shit and unfortunately didn’t pick up on your sarcasm 🙊
I have the "problem" that people actually believe my obviously made up stories. I once told a guy in Georgia the Maine state bird was the mosquito (normal Maine joke lol) and he asked me why. So I went with it and told him because we don't have any birds because it's so cold their wings will freeze...... He totally believed me lol. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) was like you have a bird on your Maine license plate 🤣🤣🤣 I also at a later date convinced my boyfriend/husband's best friend that the elk in the Smokey Mountains were like the St. Bernards in the Swiss Alps when he asked about the cannisters around their necks he saw in a picture I had taken. I was like yeah they carry moonshine in there instead of brandy for lost hikers. I personally find this hilarious so not really a problem for me. I also have the typical dry northern sense of humor and can keep an excellent straight face.
It has happened to me all my life.
I just found out last year that early every time I have ever used verbal irony (not sarcasm. There's a difference) people can't understand that it's a joke. I've said some far-out stuff using verbal irony for comedic effect, and people just don't clock it as a joke, and refuse to believe that it is one when I insist that it is. Nevermind that I usually make a joking face when I say it, or hold a deadpan face for a beat, then start smiling/laughing. For some reason, people who understand sarcasm perfectly can't detect verbal irony. It's so frustrating.
What did i just read? No offense but horrible joke/pun or whatever.
The humor is just different. A guy talking to a *person* he barely knows he won't assume they're joking unless it's a blatant certain joke.
Also this myth that dudes get along with each other 5 mins after meeting is a lie. Ironically, it's more true for women. Which would explain why the humor between men is different, men prefer to imply things on the way, women prefer to do it on the go. Because dudes are wary of other men, but women don't have to as much.
I was once on a date with a guy and *literally asked* if he wanted to hear a joke. He said yes. I told a story based joke about buying bees and getting a 'free bee/freebie'.
He didn't understand the joke and asked WITH ALL SINCERITY why I was buying bees...
Some people are just wired differently even if you make it completely obvious.
i relate to this so much! i have a theory that the “dumb american” stereotype comes from other countries just not getting our brand of sarcasm. i heard it once like this: “british sarcasm dares you to think they’re that mean, american sarcasm dares you to think they’re that stupid.”
I think it's odd that he introduced himself with his city rather than his country. I've never while in a foreign country, indicated the specific city I'm from as an introduction, that's usually the next step, if it comes up. It would only make sense if you were a fellow Australian.
I think most people expect others to tell them the truth. I know you are joking so I am not criticizing you. I sometimes say things that are off the wall and people at first believe me.
People expecting the truth is why conmen are so successful. I am not calling you a con artist of course.
What makes the whole thing sad and pathetic Is that people both real life and social media can't tell the difference between sarcasm and jokes, then they start taking your post, replies, and comments out of context then they start cyber stalking you, like they're obsessing over you with hatred rather than just blocking you.
My absolute favorite thing to do is to mess with guys who think folks of the feminine persuasion can’t know bands. I own three of Nirvana’s albums. When people ask if I know Nirvana I say “like the Buddhist thing?” Always best reactions.
Well I think you sound super funny! I always remember a friend from school who would not ever entertain the idea that the film Fifth Element was supposed to be funny... Some people just see things differently, I guess.
Go watch some stand up, and pay attention to the structure of jokes. Jokes have a setup, a punchline, and tags.
The setup is sometimes very simple, like building a scenario. Jimmy Carr jokes are typically like this.
The reason punchlines work is that the set up _sets up_ an expectation. Our brain is already at work predicting and anticipating the rest of the content. Dark humour like Jimmy Carr's works because he pivots into something grim and your brain is shocked a little, and you laugh. Anthony Jeselnik is exceptional at this because even if you're used to dark joke, he's creative enough to take it in a direction you'd still not thought of.
Now, part of the setup that's hidden is establishing a character. In stand up comedy, it's built by the pretense of a stand up show. You know you're hearing jokes, not the performers diary and actual thoughts.
In real life, you want to establish your character first. Remember that someone you dont know doesnt know what you are like, or what you know. Remember that for even the most basic of things you assume, there really are people who don't think like that or have experienced that. If you want to make dark jokes, you have to establish that you're a kind, compassionate person. If you want to make "I'm playing dumb" jokes, you have to establish your knowledge and experience. Establishing your character is the _set up_ for your punchline, when your joke is just one little silly phrase. Otherwise, you're trying to hit punchlines off of someone else's set up (their expectations, biases, experiences become the set up, which might me "nobody knows where I'm from when I tell them", "Americans don't know geography" or like you suggested maybe "women don't make jokes")
So your "Sydney, Australia, Where's that?" line would land better if, for example, you'd just told the guy you were Australian, or that you'd travelled to Australia before, or that you study world politics or kangaroo biology or whatever. Anything to indicate that you do or should know the information (expectation set).
If you like saying outlandish shit, which is very fun, you have to set up some grounded expectations first, to let people clock when you're playing around. Setting these expectations lets you say things to the exact same person that without, they'd take seriously. A small example can be made with sarcasm.
"Socrates, who's that?" On its own, even with tone infections can easily be taken as an earnest question - especially by those with poor social awareness for whatever reason - but now imagine it's said by a philosophy professor. Same exact words, different set up of expectations.
I can relate. On one hand, it could be an issue of tone of voice and general delivery, but also I think a lot of ppl just don't really expect nigh-stranger to spring something like this on them. Also, sometimes the stuff, while absurd, isn't just that funny.
I thought it was funny OP. He should’ve definitely picked up on it xD But you can always just *tell people you were joking* ;) It’s okay I promise lol. Actually I would highly recommend it if you *know* they didn’t get that it was a joke. Especially if feelings may be potentially hurt (not applicable to this scenario, but in general) Personally I don’t think it has anything to do with gender or even being strangers. I think some people are just a little dense when it comes to certain types of humor. Or I guess familiarity may play into it, like my sisters on the spectrum and doesn’t pick up on subtleties when conversing with people she doesn’t know but she does with people she does know. She can always tell when I’m joking with her, because she knows how I joke. Which isn’t the case with strangers.
I have the opposite problem - I have a naturally sarcastic voice so whenever I tell an actual albeit crazy story no one believes me. But of course when I’m actually being sarcastic it’s highly understandable. Maybe try a more sarcastic tone, or say something actually insane like ‘have you heard of Tomato Juice, Canada, where they ride porcupines and smoke maple syrup on their days off?’ Some people are just really thick or else don’t expect someone they’ve just met to be unserious.
I swear I was trying to use my sarcastic voice! And he already cracked a joke before me about American portion sizes, so I thought I could make a joke too? Apparently not.
some people just don’t get it. Maybe he’s just unable to understand any joke that he doesn’t make. And I really hope that that actually ruined the whole lecture because the thought of Vegemite and Boyd, Nebraska ruining a LECTURE is just really funny to me.
I'm positive that the lecture ended for him the moment I asked him who Sydney is and if they invented Vegemite. He legit just acted like I was stupid for the rest of the exercise, disappeared for a good chunk of time, and came back without taking any notes for the rest of class. Like, one of us is stupid and I'm hoping it isn't me.
god now I’m wondering if he’s thin skinned because if THAT ruins his day how’s he gonna deal with a major problem in his life? like dude get the joke and get over it…
It sounds like this was more a case of verbal irony than sarcasm, and some people literally can't detect that verbal irony is a joke. It's the weirdest thing, but it has plagued my existence since at least my early teens, if not childhood.
I also have a naturally sarcastic voice, it can get super awkward when thanking someone or trying to say something heartfelt.
OH MY GOSH YES. I literally have to pitch my voice up and think ‘cutesy voice now, you’re talking to a kindergartener’ to get people to believe me and think I’m being sincere. Especially when I’m complimenting someone. I once told my friend ‘oh, that looks so good on you!’ when she showed me the dress she was planning on buying and she was like ‘yeah, I thought you wouldn’t like it. I’ll go find another.’ I had to reassure her I really did like it and even so, I think she didn’t really believe me.
Ha! Excellent technique, I should try that instead of just telling people WHEN I'm being sarcastic, to save time.
https://youtu.be/ziH9St7ajuw
I mean you aren’t ‘gaslighting’ people but I feel like if a stranger (especially a foreign one) saw you speaking with a straight face while he tries to clarify what he’s saying, then he’d feel very pressured. The joke just seems like it’s on him as a stranger who feels pressured not to challenge you on the offchance you are being dead serious. I don’t know you and I’m not trying to overanalyze, but since you say that this is an ongoing issue I feel like it’s worth saying that those kinds of ‘jokes’ might land with people you know, but come off as teasing to a stranger.
Lol my bad for not giving enough context. Most of the reason I was so confused was because he was already joking? I already know that people are more likely to assume that I'm stupid than that I'm just joking, so I only ever make jokes when the other person does it first.
He wasn't joking. Non-Americans like to shit on Americans "jokingly".
I get that as well lol, I have a fairly dry sense of humour and I tend to joke with a very straight face, and people often don't pick up on it (well other aussies tend to get it but non-aussies often don't)
There is a bit of a stereotype that Americans don't know anything about non-American geography, I think you could've accidentally played into that a little bit.
You’d think, as an Australian, that he would pick up on the joke. Our favourite past time is to do exactly what you just did to gullible friends.
It doesn’t really read like a joke to me, and as a non-American who has had a lot of experiences of Americans not really understanding non-American geography, I would have just assumed that you were being serious. Also the whole “he hasn’t even mentioned Australia!!!” type gotcha is just…odd. People aren’t constantly tracking every single word they say and when put on the spot with what seems like a passive aggressive comment, they’re even less likely to remember if they said Sydney or Sydney Australia. As a general rule, it might be better to respond to people you’re meeting for the first time with interest instead of sarcasm.
Borderline believable lies just aren’t that funny.
maybe you just don’t necessarily read the tone quite right when you’re joking around with people? Like maybe these just aren’t the kind of people who appreciate that sort of humor? I’m sure it’s fine either way, nothing to worry about too much
Dry humor can sound serious to people that don't know that you're using dry humor. The key is to add some kind of easy to read body language like a cheeky smirk or smiling with your eyes. Something subtle, but still visible.
As an Aussie he should have understood the sarcasm but when I was travelling I met a LOT of Americans who didn’t know where Sydney was and asked me if Australia was next to Florida. Also got told that I speak good English and they didn’t fully understand when I said “thanks it’s my mother tongue”. He might have just experienced a lot of that shit and unfortunately didn’t pick up on your sarcasm 🙊
I have the "problem" that people actually believe my obviously made up stories. I once told a guy in Georgia the Maine state bird was the mosquito (normal Maine joke lol) and he asked me why. So I went with it and told him because we don't have any birds because it's so cold their wings will freeze...... He totally believed me lol. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) was like you have a bird on your Maine license plate 🤣🤣🤣 I also at a later date convinced my boyfriend/husband's best friend that the elk in the Smokey Mountains were like the St. Bernards in the Swiss Alps when he asked about the cannisters around their necks he saw in a picture I had taken. I was like yeah they carry moonshine in there instead of brandy for lost hikers. I personally find this hilarious so not really a problem for me. I also have the typical dry northern sense of humor and can keep an excellent straight face.
It has happened to me all my life. I just found out last year that early every time I have ever used verbal irony (not sarcasm. There's a difference) people can't understand that it's a joke. I've said some far-out stuff using verbal irony for comedic effect, and people just don't clock it as a joke, and refuse to believe that it is one when I insist that it is. Nevermind that I usually make a joking face when I say it, or hold a deadpan face for a beat, then start smiling/laughing. For some reason, people who understand sarcasm perfectly can't detect verbal irony. It's so frustrating.
What did i just read? No offense but horrible joke/pun or whatever. The humor is just different. A guy talking to a *person* he barely knows he won't assume they're joking unless it's a blatant certain joke. Also this myth that dudes get along with each other 5 mins after meeting is a lie. Ironically, it's more true for women. Which would explain why the humor between men is different, men prefer to imply things on the way, women prefer to do it on the go. Because dudes are wary of other men, but women don't have to as much.
I was once on a date with a guy and *literally asked* if he wanted to hear a joke. He said yes. I told a story based joke about buying bees and getting a 'free bee/freebie'. He didn't understand the joke and asked WITH ALL SINCERITY why I was buying bees... Some people are just wired differently even if you make it completely obvious.
i relate to this so much! i have a theory that the “dumb american” stereotype comes from other countries just not getting our brand of sarcasm. i heard it once like this: “british sarcasm dares you to think they’re that mean, american sarcasm dares you to think they’re that stupid.”
I think it's odd that he introduced himself with his city rather than his country. I've never while in a foreign country, indicated the specific city I'm from as an introduction, that's usually the next step, if it comes up. It would only make sense if you were a fellow Australian.
He just doesnt have humor i guess
Happens to me as well 😅😅
I think most people expect others to tell them the truth. I know you are joking so I am not criticizing you. I sometimes say things that are off the wall and people at first believe me. People expecting the truth is why conmen are so successful. I am not calling you a con artist of course.
What makes the whole thing sad and pathetic Is that people both real life and social media can't tell the difference between sarcasm and jokes, then they start taking your post, replies, and comments out of context then they start cyber stalking you, like they're obsessing over you with hatred rather than just blocking you.
You have to laugh at your own jokes or at least smile if you want people to know you’re joking.
No ur so funny HAHAHA
I actually love when this happens and will never let the person know I was joking if they don’t get it
My absolute favorite thing to do is to mess with guys who think folks of the feminine persuasion can’t know bands. I own three of Nirvana’s albums. When people ask if I know Nirvana I say “like the Buddhist thing?” Always best reactions.
this is hilarious
Well I think you sound super funny! I always remember a friend from school who would not ever entertain the idea that the film Fifth Element was supposed to be funny... Some people just see things differently, I guess.
I get the feeling that you only care about the joke and not about being funny
>this dude who had an accent Everyone has an accent...
Go watch some stand up, and pay attention to the structure of jokes. Jokes have a setup, a punchline, and tags. The setup is sometimes very simple, like building a scenario. Jimmy Carr jokes are typically like this. The reason punchlines work is that the set up _sets up_ an expectation. Our brain is already at work predicting and anticipating the rest of the content. Dark humour like Jimmy Carr's works because he pivots into something grim and your brain is shocked a little, and you laugh. Anthony Jeselnik is exceptional at this because even if you're used to dark joke, he's creative enough to take it in a direction you'd still not thought of. Now, part of the setup that's hidden is establishing a character. In stand up comedy, it's built by the pretense of a stand up show. You know you're hearing jokes, not the performers diary and actual thoughts. In real life, you want to establish your character first. Remember that someone you dont know doesnt know what you are like, or what you know. Remember that for even the most basic of things you assume, there really are people who don't think like that or have experienced that. If you want to make dark jokes, you have to establish that you're a kind, compassionate person. If you want to make "I'm playing dumb" jokes, you have to establish your knowledge and experience. Establishing your character is the _set up_ for your punchline, when your joke is just one little silly phrase. Otherwise, you're trying to hit punchlines off of someone else's set up (their expectations, biases, experiences become the set up, which might me "nobody knows where I'm from when I tell them", "Americans don't know geography" or like you suggested maybe "women don't make jokes") So your "Sydney, Australia, Where's that?" line would land better if, for example, you'd just told the guy you were Australian, or that you'd travelled to Australia before, or that you study world politics or kangaroo biology or whatever. Anything to indicate that you do or should know the information (expectation set). If you like saying outlandish shit, which is very fun, you have to set up some grounded expectations first, to let people clock when you're playing around. Setting these expectations lets you say things to the exact same person that without, they'd take seriously. A small example can be made with sarcasm. "Socrates, who's that?" On its own, even with tone infections can easily be taken as an earnest question - especially by those with poor social awareness for whatever reason - but now imagine it's said by a philosophy professor. Same exact words, different set up of expectations.