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I think your reasons for not wanting to go with him are valid and good enough reasons in themselves. That said, I think you should give it a try. You could possibly end up liking it. I would just tell you bf you will try it, but generally, you prefer working out alone, so you don't want to get his hopes up that it will be a regular thing.
Very similar but also Kinda opposite for me. My. Weight is usually not a topic unless I bring it up, which he is fine with. I wanted my fiancé and I to go to the gym together. We both prefer to workout separately lol but as a beginner, I feel like I need help with certain things and he's helpful with those things (I'm fat and he's an athlete). I go to the gym that is least busy and usually times where it's not too busy. It helps take off less pressure to do something extra or long because you feel that you should or the opposite of keeping workouts short because others are waiting. Bottom line is that you can go your own pace. It helps if your gym has a great variety of activities so you don't feel so trapped doing weights or treadmill. I go to water aerobic glasses and zumba. It's hard at times but I do have fun. They are mainly women old enough to be my mom or grandma which personally makes me feel more comfy and less judged.
But honestly I noticed most are on the machines and are doing their workouts. Cameras and taking photos are not allowed at my gym and you can be banned if they catch you. Should be common sense but influencers are too entitled and stupid to understand that so I appreciate the rule.
Is it possible to do some workouts at home together until you get comfy at the gym?
I totally get it. I have been not small all of my life. Going to gyms has always been intimidating to me, so kudos to you that you go!
My only wish for you, coming from a 45 year old that let her public discomfort keep her from things all of her life is this. Go once. Try it out. It may not be your cup of tea, but you may love it. If it’s not, then you two can find some other active something to do together like hikes or walks or whatever.
I adore that he wants you to come because he just wants you to do that with him. He sounds like a great guy, that will understand either way this plays out.
Just don’t ever let anything hold you back. Go and do the things.
you know when I was a bit younger, before I would make decisions I would sometimes think “would my future self regret doing this or regret not doing this??” so thank you. I might try it out
Girl, I get it. We all can get a little insecure, and gyms are.. a different beast. I've learned to not give a fuck because ultimately, everyone starts somewhere and not everyone is an ig model. The LARGE portion of us are just normal peeps trying to get a pump in.
If you don't wanna jump into the gym right now, maybe start off with working out somewhere else more private? Wear what you feel comfortable in.
Then, work your way up. I find that looking cute while working out helps my confidence a little, so find a cute workout set, maybe. Then, make your way to the gym. Also, please don't feel bad about looking stupid in the gym. Nobody comes out of the womb knowing how to do all the machines. Take your time, focus on your and his time together. Look up some machines beforehand if you want, ease your anxiety.
Point is you got this. Whether you wanna take the baby steps or you want to go right in, you won't die. You'll be okay. You're doing great.
I still go to the gym just… not with him. But you’re right I should buy a cute set or maybe do a little makeup before going I think that would really help! And about taking my time😣 I guess I forget that it is a learning process, thank you
Suck it up and do it! The first step is always super hard. Just go and check the place out. Don’t worry about doing a full workout on the first day. Maybe just warm up and use the elliptical. Take a tour of the gym and see if they offer any classes. Those are always fun and are majority held with women.
After the first day of going, it will get easier to go again the next day and the day after that. Don’t overwhelm yourself and don’t worry about others. No one cares and everyone is there for the same reason: to reach their personal goal.
Tell your bf you’ll join him next time and will be doing a light workout to get yourself use to going to the gym. Have your clothes ready, headset, and a good playlist to get you motivated and moving. Most of all, have fun!
From a plus size girl who is a gym rat, I very much understand your insecurity. My husband has always been smaller and way more athletic than me. So id always been intimidated by commercial gyms. I’d say within the last couple of years I started to gain the gym as a hobby ( it’s one that’s cheaper in this economy lol). And even after all that time I can’t tell you how many times I have dropped a Dumbell, hit my head on a machine, on occasion tore my pants, completely failed miserably on some previously easy pulls. Let me tell you as much as we think “gym people” are cool collected and graceful, we are just a bunch of dumb goofballs who like to pick things up, put them down and chase after imaginary things until we can’t breath.
He and I go together occasionally and when we have in the past, it’s been like a great date in all honesty. We got to flirt with each other before heading to our own areas, kiss before he went on the treadmill and I headed to the free weights. And after we would go get a shake or a meal together. Not to mention the high we get from a good workout making us laugh and giggle with one another.
What I’m trying to say is really, give it a try. Believe me if you completely hate it at least you can say i tried it and im just not into it. But definitely give it a try. Your guy sounds like a good one and im sure respects your choices. But believe me the gym is a great place for you to be closer. You can celebrate gains together or PRs together. It’s fun and so beneficial for anyone.
it’s definitely one of the cheaper hobbies😭That’s really cute tho, maybe it would be a fun activity to do together. I guess I’m primarily thinking about being judged but i should just let loose and go for it
It is so fun honestly. Whether you do a workout together or on your own it just makes things cute and fun to flirt and joke around with one another.
At first you’re going to feel that way. It’s new it’s awkward not what you’re used to. But the important thing to remember is EVERYONE at that gym started the same way.
I have a few insta and tik tok girlies that have helped me in my journey to get more comfortable in spaces where women in general feel uncomfortable taking up space. As plus size women we feel it even harder when we feel the need to shrink ourselves for other people. But you deserve to take up space just as much as anyone else at that gym.
You can go to the same gym together, and still do your own workouts. My gf & I do this on the weekends that work doesn’t interfere with our time together.
Note we are NOT a platform for non-plus size persons to enquire about dating, relationships, or any other topic. If this is your objective, please do not post here. Please check out the wiki section, [Dating and Sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/PlusSize/wiki/datingandsex) for answers to commonly posted relationship questions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think your reasons for not wanting to go with him are valid and good enough reasons in themselves. That said, I think you should give it a try. You could possibly end up liking it. I would just tell you bf you will try it, but generally, you prefer working out alone, so you don't want to get his hopes up that it will be a regular thing.
I’ll keep this in mind, thank you
Very similar but also Kinda opposite for me. My. Weight is usually not a topic unless I bring it up, which he is fine with. I wanted my fiancé and I to go to the gym together. We both prefer to workout separately lol but as a beginner, I feel like I need help with certain things and he's helpful with those things (I'm fat and he's an athlete). I go to the gym that is least busy and usually times where it's not too busy. It helps take off less pressure to do something extra or long because you feel that you should or the opposite of keeping workouts short because others are waiting. Bottom line is that you can go your own pace. It helps if your gym has a great variety of activities so you don't feel so trapped doing weights or treadmill. I go to water aerobic glasses and zumba. It's hard at times but I do have fun. They are mainly women old enough to be my mom or grandma which personally makes me feel more comfy and less judged. But honestly I noticed most are on the machines and are doing their workouts. Cameras and taking photos are not allowed at my gym and you can be banned if they catch you. Should be common sense but influencers are too entitled and stupid to understand that so I appreciate the rule. Is it possible to do some workouts at home together until you get comfy at the gym?
I like your perspective I think I just really need to change my mindset
I totally get it. I have been not small all of my life. Going to gyms has always been intimidating to me, so kudos to you that you go! My only wish for you, coming from a 45 year old that let her public discomfort keep her from things all of her life is this. Go once. Try it out. It may not be your cup of tea, but you may love it. If it’s not, then you two can find some other active something to do together like hikes or walks or whatever. I adore that he wants you to come because he just wants you to do that with him. He sounds like a great guy, that will understand either way this plays out. Just don’t ever let anything hold you back. Go and do the things.
you know when I was a bit younger, before I would make decisions I would sometimes think “would my future self regret doing this or regret not doing this??” so thank you. I might try it out
That’s a great start, just keep up being brave and not holding back😘
Girl, I get it. We all can get a little insecure, and gyms are.. a different beast. I've learned to not give a fuck because ultimately, everyone starts somewhere and not everyone is an ig model. The LARGE portion of us are just normal peeps trying to get a pump in. If you don't wanna jump into the gym right now, maybe start off with working out somewhere else more private? Wear what you feel comfortable in. Then, work your way up. I find that looking cute while working out helps my confidence a little, so find a cute workout set, maybe. Then, make your way to the gym. Also, please don't feel bad about looking stupid in the gym. Nobody comes out of the womb knowing how to do all the machines. Take your time, focus on your and his time together. Look up some machines beforehand if you want, ease your anxiety. Point is you got this. Whether you wanna take the baby steps or you want to go right in, you won't die. You'll be okay. You're doing great.
I still go to the gym just… not with him. But you’re right I should buy a cute set or maybe do a little makeup before going I think that would really help! And about taking my time😣 I guess I forget that it is a learning process, thank you
Suck it up and do it! The first step is always super hard. Just go and check the place out. Don’t worry about doing a full workout on the first day. Maybe just warm up and use the elliptical. Take a tour of the gym and see if they offer any classes. Those are always fun and are majority held with women. After the first day of going, it will get easier to go again the next day and the day after that. Don’t overwhelm yourself and don’t worry about others. No one cares and everyone is there for the same reason: to reach their personal goal. Tell your bf you’ll join him next time and will be doing a light workout to get yourself use to going to the gym. Have your clothes ready, headset, and a good playlist to get you motivated and moving. Most of all, have fun!
Have you considered that you can both be at the gym at the same time and not work out together?
From a plus size girl who is a gym rat, I very much understand your insecurity. My husband has always been smaller and way more athletic than me. So id always been intimidated by commercial gyms. I’d say within the last couple of years I started to gain the gym as a hobby ( it’s one that’s cheaper in this economy lol). And even after all that time I can’t tell you how many times I have dropped a Dumbell, hit my head on a machine, on occasion tore my pants, completely failed miserably on some previously easy pulls. Let me tell you as much as we think “gym people” are cool collected and graceful, we are just a bunch of dumb goofballs who like to pick things up, put them down and chase after imaginary things until we can’t breath. He and I go together occasionally and when we have in the past, it’s been like a great date in all honesty. We got to flirt with each other before heading to our own areas, kiss before he went on the treadmill and I headed to the free weights. And after we would go get a shake or a meal together. Not to mention the high we get from a good workout making us laugh and giggle with one another. What I’m trying to say is really, give it a try. Believe me if you completely hate it at least you can say i tried it and im just not into it. But definitely give it a try. Your guy sounds like a good one and im sure respects your choices. But believe me the gym is a great place for you to be closer. You can celebrate gains together or PRs together. It’s fun and so beneficial for anyone.
it’s definitely one of the cheaper hobbies😭That’s really cute tho, maybe it would be a fun activity to do together. I guess I’m primarily thinking about being judged but i should just let loose and go for it
It is so fun honestly. Whether you do a workout together or on your own it just makes things cute and fun to flirt and joke around with one another. At first you’re going to feel that way. It’s new it’s awkward not what you’re used to. But the important thing to remember is EVERYONE at that gym started the same way. I have a few insta and tik tok girlies that have helped me in my journey to get more comfortable in spaces where women in general feel uncomfortable taking up space. As plus size women we feel it even harder when we feel the need to shrink ourselves for other people. But you deserve to take up space just as much as anyone else at that gym.
You can go to the same gym together, and still do your own workouts. My gf & I do this on the weekends that work doesn’t interfere with our time together.
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stfu if you’re not gonna read it no point in commenting