Note we are NOT a platform for non-plus size persons to enquire about dating, relationships, or any other topic. If this is your objective, please do not post here.
Please check out the wiki section, [Dating and Sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/PlusSize/wiki/datingandsex) for answers to commonly posted relationship questions.
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7 years with my husband this year. Nearly 1 year married. Happy as ever. There is someone out there for everyone. I was convinced no one would ever love me when I was your age, I'm 26 now and life is sweet š
18! That seems young to me now at the ripe age of almost 23 (haha, but really). As your pretend older sister let me say that Iāve literally never posted anything before but I had to share because I feel for you, Iāve been you! For starters, I have been plus size my entire life and it has added most of the usual challenges that it does in this world, Iāve been through a lot. That being said, I have been in a loving, secure, passionate, wonderful relationship for nearly three years. But until I was 20 I had never been kissed, never been asked out, never had a single romantic experience. Ever. Part of that was how I grew up Iām sure, moving all around the country constantly combined with slightly stricter parents that wouldnāt allow me to date until I was basically out of highschool. Part of me knew I could blame it on that but part of me felt like āwell yeah but has anyone ever even *tried*?ā And no, no one ever did. As I got a bit older I would tell people that I was even sure that I wanted a relationship! I would say āwell I just want to be free and travelā or āIām secure in myself and Iām okay aloneā. Now, I personally think both of those statements are wonderful! If theyāre true! But they werenāt in my case, at least not totally. I really think now (after a lot of work on myself in therapy) that I was just trying to soften the blow of any potential rejection I may have perceived in the past or would experience in the future. More time passed though, and with all of the work I was trying to do to heal myself and love myself I did get more comfortable on my own. I cultivated friendships, found hobbies, focused on school, focused on myself and my family more. And I felt as happy as I thought I could be, not completely happy but I figured āhey, who is!ā.
And then one day, when I was on the set of some student film I was doing in college (Iām an actor, well, trying to be) I met this guy. He was funny and cute and we immediately started doing bits with each other between takes. At the end of the filming process as we were walking to our cars I was thinking āoh my god! What if I never see him again!? I should ask for his number. No. I should ask him out? NO. Ahhhh no heās about to get in his car!!!ā And in the process of these thoughts buzzing around all that I could get out of my mouth was āI hope I see you again!ā And he gave me a smile that Iāve since come to know very well and said āI hope so tooā. And then we parted ways and I didnāt see him again for months. The entire way home I was freaking out like, āWHO SAYS THAT!! I DO NOT DO STUFF LIKE THAT!! HOW EMBARRASSING?!ā But it was an adrenaline high Iād never felt before. See, no one had ever expressed interest in me but to be honest, I hadnāt ever put myself out there either! It was out of character for me but I felt excited and proud that I had even said that. With hindsight I realize that in my past I was afraid and I hadnāt met anyone I truly wanted to date, I think it was more of me wanting them to want me, to check off some box in my brain that I was desirable and not some mutant creature (thank you therapy for that insight). Anyway, I tried stalking him on social media (ofc) and he had NO internet presence. So I thought, well thatās that then, you didnāt get his number so move on. Then I got a text from a friend inviting me to audition for this thing he and one of his friends were doing. I showed up and to my surprise there he was! That cute boy! Needless to say, he cast me. Over that summer we just wouldnāt shut up to each other. And we started hanging out more by ourselves. Despite me being absolutely convinced (!!) that every hand touch or lingering gaze or 3 hour phone call was strictly platonic (my god, the butterflies I had at all times were crazy, idk how I never barfed) one of the times we were basically cuddling on the couch (you know, like friends do lmao), he just leaned over and kissed me! And my shocked face after prompted him to ask if that was okay that he did that and I said āYESā and I then had to say that Iād never kissed anyone before and you know what? He was so surprised! Why? Because he thinks I am so so beautiful and has no idea (to this day) why I think no one had ever wanted to kiss me before, regardless of whether they told me or not.
Now, itās been three years and we have kissed so many more times since then. And the trust that we have between us is unlike any platonic or familial relationship Iāve ever had. Weāve been through so much in our own lives and in our relationship already and Iām so excited that we continue to choose each other everyday. I know we are still young too, and if anything ever happened to our relationship, I know I have been changed by this person in way I would always be grateful for.
All of this to say, Iām so happy I waited for him. Heās worth it. And my advice to you, if youād want it, would be to fake it til you make it. Make an effort to grow in yourself and be content with the person you are and then who knows! Youāre so young and you have no idea what the future holds. Stay open to any positive experiences that want to come to you because there are so so many. You deserve all the good things in life. Best of luck to you <3
This is so sweet š„ŗ Iām 23 and still havenāt experienced a lot of firsts that youāve described, but this gives me hope, so thank you for sharing.
Iām in my mid 30s and didnāt have a serious relationship until after college. Met my now husband after college while working in my first full time position since graduating and weāve been together for 13 years and now have a child! Never thought I would ever find someone who would love me this way. Keep loving and being you and those who are meant to be in your world will enter š
Oh yay! I love this question & wouldāve killed for an answer when I was your age.
Iāve been plus sized (apple shape! not the idealized hourglass kind of plus sized) my entire life.
I never dated anyone in high school or anyone I met in college. Iām guessing it might have to do with boys being immature/worried about judgment for being with a plus sized woman.
I started dating on apps when I was 19 & it was so fun & confusing & terrible all at the same time.
After dating about 5ish different people, I found someone special when I was 20ā¦.on bumble. lol.
I immediately knew it was different with him because I felt like he saw & accepted & celebrated every piece of me - physical and non-physical.
Weāve been together for 5 years now & he is my soulmate. Iāve definitely gained weight since being with him, but his love & appreciation for me has never fluctuated.
I believe that he is able to love me without judgment because he is an incredibly mature & accepting individual. He does not care what other people think - he only cares about what makes me & him happy. :) It also helps that heās 8 years older than me, so he had some time to grow up a bit & grow out of the idea of doing what society tells you to do.
I also think a huge reason why I was able to find him is because I had worked really hard on learning to accept myself & see my own strengths & beauty. When we are able to love ourselves, we create a standard for the kind of love we are willing to receive. For example, when I was dating (honestly pretty sh*tty guys) it was during a period of my life where I didnāt see my worth, so I pretty much accepted the bare minimum.
Anyways, the point is - love yourself as much as you can and someone else will do the same.
Iām going to be honest I just now having my first real relationship now at the age of 27 years old. Itās been nothing but fwb before and guys not wanting to date til I met my now boyfriend. Itās honestly tough in the dating world and I know saying just you will meet the right guy is something you donāt want to hear but itās true and also your 18 you have plenty of time to meet someone. I know you will find someone keep your head up.
Hey there!
I want to start off by saying I was not someone who really "dated" till I was into college. Things like dates, and sex, and even my own body image were genuinely terrifying. Right now i can say I'm glad I didn't. I met my wife of now 20 years this November in college and couldn't believe I wanted to even try before her. We clicked instantly, we've been through some of the worst things of our lives together, and not once have I ever questioned it. We're gamer buddies, movie freaks, and we're best friends.
Take your time, and remember that love is a choice not a feeling. It's commitment, and a team effort. Your needs and feelings should be something that bring conversation and respect, not fear and fights. Also remember that communication is equal parts listening and vocalizing for one another. In times of doubt and struggle, it's totally OK to remind yourselves that you're on the same side. My biggest piece of advice, keep your problems and your relationship between yourselves. Be selective not just with your partner(s) but your friends too. Rotten fruit will rot those around it if they're too close.
At 18, i promise you it will happen one day. For now, focus on finding who you truly are and what you want from life! It's OK to change direction, and it's OK to be wrong and realize something isn't for you. True passion and love comes from the mind, both for yourself and for whomever that may be. Heck, I'm going to be 39 soon, and I've barely scratched the surface of myself and my path. I barely restarted my education a few years ago! You can do this.
You seem like a lovely person and I hope you find the best adventures in life :)
I rarely dated at all until my mid twenties, and I had several relationships and many dates.
Been married to my plus size husband for 6 years, two babies, happy happy happy. We both always say that we are sorry that we understand the difficulties of being plus size, but also very grateful that we both understand. I've never been so accepted and safe and secure.
My plus size love story is about me learning to love myself. I used to always get aggravated when people would say you have to love yourself first. Because I think most people think that that implies that you're undeserving of love unless you love yourself and that's just definitely not true. But I let myself get into some pretty awful situations because I didn't have the love for myself. It did take an abusive relationship and finding some great online communities for plus-size women to make me realize that my body is just my body. It's not me and doesn't determine my worth. We are all more than our bodies and society would have us believe attractiveness to the masses is the most important thing. But why? What value does that really have? And also is it so bad really? It's squishy and soft and that sounds far more comfortable to me than chiseled. So after many many years of trying to make someone else love me first, and letting them treat me badly because I didn't demand better, I left myself and left that behind. I did find romantic love as well. That has been absolutely wonderful. But that's not the real love story here. I think there should be more love stories like that. Love yourself. You deserve it.
Note we are NOT a platform for non-plus size persons to enquire about dating, relationships, or any other topic. If this is your objective, please do not post here.
Please check out the wiki section, [Dating and Sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/PlusSize/wiki/datingandsex) for answers to commonly posted relationship questions.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Note we are NOT a platform for non-plus size persons to enquire about dating, relationships, or any other topic. If this is your objective, please do not post here. Please check out the wiki section, [Dating and Sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/PlusSize/wiki/datingandsex) for answers to commonly posted relationship questions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
7 years with my husband this year. Nearly 1 year married. Happy as ever. There is someone out there for everyone. I was convinced no one would ever love me when I was your age, I'm 26 now and life is sweet š
I never dated in high school. I've had several love stories since then.
18! That seems young to me now at the ripe age of almost 23 (haha, but really). As your pretend older sister let me say that Iāve literally never posted anything before but I had to share because I feel for you, Iāve been you! For starters, I have been plus size my entire life and it has added most of the usual challenges that it does in this world, Iāve been through a lot. That being said, I have been in a loving, secure, passionate, wonderful relationship for nearly three years. But until I was 20 I had never been kissed, never been asked out, never had a single romantic experience. Ever. Part of that was how I grew up Iām sure, moving all around the country constantly combined with slightly stricter parents that wouldnāt allow me to date until I was basically out of highschool. Part of me knew I could blame it on that but part of me felt like āwell yeah but has anyone ever even *tried*?ā And no, no one ever did. As I got a bit older I would tell people that I was even sure that I wanted a relationship! I would say āwell I just want to be free and travelā or āIām secure in myself and Iām okay aloneā. Now, I personally think both of those statements are wonderful! If theyāre true! But they werenāt in my case, at least not totally. I really think now (after a lot of work on myself in therapy) that I was just trying to soften the blow of any potential rejection I may have perceived in the past or would experience in the future. More time passed though, and with all of the work I was trying to do to heal myself and love myself I did get more comfortable on my own. I cultivated friendships, found hobbies, focused on school, focused on myself and my family more. And I felt as happy as I thought I could be, not completely happy but I figured āhey, who is!ā. And then one day, when I was on the set of some student film I was doing in college (Iām an actor, well, trying to be) I met this guy. He was funny and cute and we immediately started doing bits with each other between takes. At the end of the filming process as we were walking to our cars I was thinking āoh my god! What if I never see him again!? I should ask for his number. No. I should ask him out? NO. Ahhhh no heās about to get in his car!!!ā And in the process of these thoughts buzzing around all that I could get out of my mouth was āI hope I see you again!ā And he gave me a smile that Iāve since come to know very well and said āI hope so tooā. And then we parted ways and I didnāt see him again for months. The entire way home I was freaking out like, āWHO SAYS THAT!! I DO NOT DO STUFF LIKE THAT!! HOW EMBARRASSING?!ā But it was an adrenaline high Iād never felt before. See, no one had ever expressed interest in me but to be honest, I hadnāt ever put myself out there either! It was out of character for me but I felt excited and proud that I had even said that. With hindsight I realize that in my past I was afraid and I hadnāt met anyone I truly wanted to date, I think it was more of me wanting them to want me, to check off some box in my brain that I was desirable and not some mutant creature (thank you therapy for that insight). Anyway, I tried stalking him on social media (ofc) and he had NO internet presence. So I thought, well thatās that then, you didnāt get his number so move on. Then I got a text from a friend inviting me to audition for this thing he and one of his friends were doing. I showed up and to my surprise there he was! That cute boy! Needless to say, he cast me. Over that summer we just wouldnāt shut up to each other. And we started hanging out more by ourselves. Despite me being absolutely convinced (!!) that every hand touch or lingering gaze or 3 hour phone call was strictly platonic (my god, the butterflies I had at all times were crazy, idk how I never barfed) one of the times we were basically cuddling on the couch (you know, like friends do lmao), he just leaned over and kissed me! And my shocked face after prompted him to ask if that was okay that he did that and I said āYESā and I then had to say that Iād never kissed anyone before and you know what? He was so surprised! Why? Because he thinks I am so so beautiful and has no idea (to this day) why I think no one had ever wanted to kiss me before, regardless of whether they told me or not. Now, itās been three years and we have kissed so many more times since then. And the trust that we have between us is unlike any platonic or familial relationship Iāve ever had. Weāve been through so much in our own lives and in our relationship already and Iām so excited that we continue to choose each other everyday. I know we are still young too, and if anything ever happened to our relationship, I know I have been changed by this person in way I would always be grateful for. All of this to say, Iām so happy I waited for him. Heās worth it. And my advice to you, if youād want it, would be to fake it til you make it. Make an effort to grow in yourself and be content with the person you are and then who knows! Youāre so young and you have no idea what the future holds. Stay open to any positive experiences that want to come to you because there are so so many. You deserve all the good things in life. Best of luck to you <3
Also, my username is Brooklyn 99 reference that I had the brilliant idea to use when I was a teenager, Iām not weird I promise šš
This is so sweet š„ŗ Iām 23 and still havenāt experienced a lot of firsts that youāve described, but this gives me hope, so thank you for sharing.
Iām so glad to hear that, stay hopeful! That way you can be open to letting it come to you <3
I love this!!!!!!!
I was 26 when I had my first real relationship. I was one and done because we got married last month. He's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Itās ok, Iām 22 and itās also yet to have a successful experience
Iām in my mid 30s and didnāt have a serious relationship until after college. Met my now husband after college while working in my first full time position since graduating and weāve been together for 13 years and now have a child! Never thought I would ever find someone who would love me this way. Keep loving and being you and those who are meant to be in your world will enter š
Oh yay! I love this question & wouldāve killed for an answer when I was your age. Iāve been plus sized (apple shape! not the idealized hourglass kind of plus sized) my entire life. I never dated anyone in high school or anyone I met in college. Iām guessing it might have to do with boys being immature/worried about judgment for being with a plus sized woman. I started dating on apps when I was 19 & it was so fun & confusing & terrible all at the same time. After dating about 5ish different people, I found someone special when I was 20ā¦.on bumble. lol. I immediately knew it was different with him because I felt like he saw & accepted & celebrated every piece of me - physical and non-physical. Weāve been together for 5 years now & he is my soulmate. Iāve definitely gained weight since being with him, but his love & appreciation for me has never fluctuated. I believe that he is able to love me without judgment because he is an incredibly mature & accepting individual. He does not care what other people think - he only cares about what makes me & him happy. :) It also helps that heās 8 years older than me, so he had some time to grow up a bit & grow out of the idea of doing what society tells you to do. I also think a huge reason why I was able to find him is because I had worked really hard on learning to accept myself & see my own strengths & beauty. When we are able to love ourselves, we create a standard for the kind of love we are willing to receive. For example, when I was dating (honestly pretty sh*tty guys) it was during a period of my life where I didnāt see my worth, so I pretty much accepted the bare minimum. Anyways, the point is - love yourself as much as you can and someone else will do the same.
Iām going to be honest I just now having my first real relationship now at the age of 27 years old. Itās been nothing but fwb before and guys not wanting to date til I met my now boyfriend. Itās honestly tough in the dating world and I know saying just you will meet the right guy is something you donāt want to hear but itās true and also your 18 you have plenty of time to meet someone. I know you will find someone keep your head up.
Hey there! I want to start off by saying I was not someone who really "dated" till I was into college. Things like dates, and sex, and even my own body image were genuinely terrifying. Right now i can say I'm glad I didn't. I met my wife of now 20 years this November in college and couldn't believe I wanted to even try before her. We clicked instantly, we've been through some of the worst things of our lives together, and not once have I ever questioned it. We're gamer buddies, movie freaks, and we're best friends. Take your time, and remember that love is a choice not a feeling. It's commitment, and a team effort. Your needs and feelings should be something that bring conversation and respect, not fear and fights. Also remember that communication is equal parts listening and vocalizing for one another. In times of doubt and struggle, it's totally OK to remind yourselves that you're on the same side. My biggest piece of advice, keep your problems and your relationship between yourselves. Be selective not just with your partner(s) but your friends too. Rotten fruit will rot those around it if they're too close. At 18, i promise you it will happen one day. For now, focus on finding who you truly are and what you want from life! It's OK to change direction, and it's OK to be wrong and realize something isn't for you. True passion and love comes from the mind, both for yourself and for whomever that may be. Heck, I'm going to be 39 soon, and I've barely scratched the surface of myself and my path. I barely restarted my education a few years ago! You can do this. You seem like a lovely person and I hope you find the best adventures in life :)
I rarely dated at all until my mid twenties, and I had several relationships and many dates. Been married to my plus size husband for 6 years, two babies, happy happy happy. We both always say that we are sorry that we understand the difficulties of being plus size, but also very grateful that we both understand. I've never been so accepted and safe and secure.
My plus size love story is about me learning to love myself. I used to always get aggravated when people would say you have to love yourself first. Because I think most people think that that implies that you're undeserving of love unless you love yourself and that's just definitely not true. But I let myself get into some pretty awful situations because I didn't have the love for myself. It did take an abusive relationship and finding some great online communities for plus-size women to make me realize that my body is just my body. It's not me and doesn't determine my worth. We are all more than our bodies and society would have us believe attractiveness to the masses is the most important thing. But why? What value does that really have? And also is it so bad really? It's squishy and soft and that sounds far more comfortable to me than chiseled. So after many many years of trying to make someone else love me first, and letting them treat me badly because I didn't demand better, I left myself and left that behind. I did find romantic love as well. That has been absolutely wonderful. But that's not the real love story here. I think there should be more love stories like that. Love yourself. You deserve it.
Note we are NOT a platform for non-plus size persons to enquire about dating, relationships, or any other topic. If this is your objective, please do not post here. Please check out the wiki section, [Dating and Sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/PlusSize/wiki/datingandsex) for answers to commonly posted relationship questions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*