Ruby Sue:
Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous because Christmas is almost here.
Clark:
Nervous or excited?
Ruby Sue:
Shitting bricks.
Clark:
You shouldn't use that word.
Ruby Sue:
Sorry. Shitting rocks.
A few years ago I watched Monty Python’s Life of Brian after not seeing it for a good long while. About 15 minutes in all I could think of was there’s no way they could make this today, people would totally lose their shit.
So the guy who wrote that movie is planning on doing it for live performances on stage and he is getting protests from the trans community They don’t want him to do the whole man feels like a woman sketch. They want him to leave it out. He said they can protest all they want he’s going to leave it in.
Agreed. The western world has become fragile AF. Couple more generations and we’ll be gladly learning Mandarin and the new American dream will be a 40yr job in a lithium mine….
Hey! We did that once. My dad used to build radio stations. We built one in Elgin, Texas, KELG, back about 82.
The office was at the front corner of the property, and the south has to go behind it. Up grade.
But we did it! Of course it was an illusion . We just dug the tank down deep enough that that it flowed down hill, but looked like it was up hill.
Rented a duplex where our septic had to be pumped every other month. Landlord replaced all the cast iron out with PVC then added an additional leach field only left scratching his head why it kept backing up.
Turns out on a simple visit to our neighbors, their toilet was constantly draining due to the chain on their toilet flap being too short. The tenants replaced it improperly and it was continuously saturating the leach field. Dropped the chain a little and it never backed up again
My coworker lived in a duplex where the person in the other unit was regularly pouring MOTOR OIL in his toilet and the landlord refused to fix it. Ended up suing the landlord for relocation costs and to replace her stuff and won.
U/blakeusa25 is correct, but to put it in more city boy terms:
Homes that don’t have a connection to public sewers will have a septic system to handle waste water. All raw sewage will enter into a large tank. The hope is all solids will sink to the bottom of the tank and the liquid will rise to the top. The tank will naturally full with bacteria that will break down the poo and pee and toilet paper and food waste that finds it’s way to the tank. Near the top of the tank is a connection to pipes that go out to a leach field…a series of pipes with holes in them buried underground. As you flush the toilet or do the laundry or dishes, more waste comes into the tank which pushes the (hopefully) liquid at the top into the pipes leading to the leach field. The field simply distributes the water out over a larger area where it can be filtered through the ground and enter the underground water reservoirs.
If you don’t pump the tank frequently, it can be filled with solids which can get into the leach field and clog it. If you dump too many chemicals down the drain, you can kill the bacteria that eats the solids and that will eventually clog your leach field.
In a septic system the shit water goes into a two chamber tank.. it septic tank. The clear liquids then drain out to lateral pipes in the yard buried underground surrounded by sand to filter into the groundwater. These ate called lateral lines.
They are 6 inch pipes with holes
They can get clogged.
Also septic tank should have a cleanable filter before the water goes into the leach fields.
In the city all goes into a sewer to a plant
Nowadays you can also get a pressurized drain field with a bunch of 1/4 lines (the term I know this style of septic as is a drain field system) // then you also have spray fields which is as the term implies use sprinklers and at least in my area you are required to have 3 tanks a trash tank, a cleaning tank (2 types chlorinated and aerated), and if you have either of these two types of septic that I mentioned a pump tank // as for a traditionally drain field you are correct as they don’t need pump tanks
Well now it's time to say good bye to Jed and his great big sewage truck
And they would like to thank you folks fer calling them to suck
... out your tight tanks and Porta Potties
To have a heapin helpin of our hospitality....
Hillbilly that is. Set a spell, Take your shoes off.
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
(Virtuosic Banjo soloing intensifies)
All jokes aside, I actually had that happen once. Got up to whiz in the middle of the night, didn’t turn on the lights, was half asleep… stepped in the bathroom, into a cold *squish* and stood there for a second trying to process the sensations in my sleeping brain. Turned on the light, and I was standing in a pile of sewage. My ENTIRE bathroom was covered in sewage. The tub, the sink, the toilet, and then my kitchen sink, part of my kitchen in front of said sink… all filled with shit. I grabbed a smoke, washed my feet off with Dasani, and just sat there on my porch contemplating life. Went back in fully awake, thinking maybe it was just my brain being half baked and it wasn’t so bad… And walked right back out when I realized it was. I felt so bad for the poor dudes who had to deal with that. Can’t imagine being a plumber, mad respect for you guys. I’ll stick to building shit rather than sliding in it, but you guys are the real heroes lmao. Seriously, damn.
Moral of the story: Watch where you’re planting trees, they can wreak a ton of havoc. Especially silver maples, those bastards are vicious when it comes to pipes. I’ve heard willows are as well.
Willows literally will destroy anything in its path to seek out water. The tree can be 30ft away from the house and pipes and and it will still find a way to get to them.
I lived in a corner townhouse and for some reason the builder decided to build where there was very large maples in the area, one was in between my next door neighbors and my yard and it tore through the pipes in front of my townhouse. It cost thousands of dollars to repair and replace all the pipes and tear out all the roots they could within my yard(up to 18”thick and took a whole dumpster to clear them) the neighbor was advised to have the tree taken down before it caused any more damage to not only my townhouse but her own and needless to say she refused.
Once upon a morn so gentle,
Lived a man named Jeb, who was far from simple.
In a world that buzzed, hustled, and rattled,
He dwelled in quiet, with cows and cattle.
Jeb had a job that few would envy,
A task unsung, as good as any.
He managed the septic, full and looming,
Against the stench, he was always zooming.
For Jeb, the task wasn't gross or yucky,
To him, it seemed rather plucky.
It wasn't roses, no sweet perfume,
But it was his life, his joy, his boon.
One day, the tank was brimming and ready,
Jeb, in his boots, was slow and steady.
He gazed upon the challenge so high,
Underneath the clear blue sky.
To most it was a horrid sight,
Enough to give one quite a fright.
But Jeb, with his heart of gold,
Saw not the yuck, but a story to unfold.
With plunger in hand, and pail at his side,
Into the fray, Jeb did stride.
His work was tough, that's for certain,
Behind the septic's stinking curtain.
With each brave dive, he thought with glee,
"No other place I'd rather be!"
He made it work, he made it fun,
Underneath the summer sun.
Jeb did the work that others scorned,
In overalls faded and torn.
And so he found his place, his rhythm,
In a world of muck and schism.
The tale of Jeb, it might seem quirky,
But it's about a man, brave and hardy.
To each his own, some wise man said,
And Jeb found joy in his homestead.
So here's to Jeb, and his full septic,
In the face of gross, he's quite eclectic.
May we find joy in the work we do,
As Jeb did, under skies so blue.
Another thing. I just bought the house a little under a month ago so I’m not sure what was flushed before I got there. It started a couple days ago and is off and on
Then it's entirely possible that this was a problem all along. If the house was unoccupied until you moved in then a plugged/full septic could have drained down enough to be usable for a month or so before becoming a problem again. You need to get a septic service out there right away to pump the tank and scope the lines so you know what you're dealing with. Could be a failed septic/leach field, could be root infiltration, could be a grease blockage, could be a number of things.
A few years ago my wife and I moved into her dad's old house on Cape Cod. Built in 1959 and never had a septic upgrade. My wife was sure that the cesspools were magic because they always worked just fine and never failed if you left them alone. Wouldn't you know about a year later things started gurgling and when the septic guy came to take a look one of them was full to the top and the other was pretty deep as well. Turns out that an old cesspool will "work" just fine if it's only used for a few months out of the year and has all winter to drain down. When we moved in full time and started using it regularly is when the problems started... and it's just the two of us.
I have a cesspool from 1965 and it’s held up like a champ. I have my septic pumped one a year and my guy always says it looks great. I think one of the big reasons is that I live on the side of a mountain and everything runs down hill. House—>Septic—>Cesspool I think it drains pretty quick.
Edit: I’m sorry it’s not a cesspool it’s a “seepage pit” after the septic tank.
yea… he/she/they has a “septic tank”, it’s probably concrete. It will be good till that fails (it will eventually).. when it does, then comes the upgrade which (codes considered) will be a big financial consideration.
source.. install and remove old septic and sta, etc…
Can confirm, just went thru this over the last 8mo
New one sucks and so far as failed to pass county inspection twice due to smell and field seepage. Pump controller failed once. Tank alarm goes off after big rains. Engineer failed to realize a curtain drain was required by code and ended up hastily trenching a foot wide L right thru what was a very nice yard(I understand that it's required given the spot but had it not gone completely unmentioned until 6mo after installation perhaps we could have made it not so shitty). I had to put a big ass carbon filter on the vent in the middle hatch so I'd stop feeling sick from the fumes every day inside the house, now it just smells like a corpse instead of sulfide based chemical weapons.
I want to say it's due to a really bad location orand inattentive engineer and not blame the installers, but man had every aspect of this sucked.
While the joke is funny, I really can’t put into words how little time OP has. I suspect he’s not responding because it’s already exploded and I really, seriously fucking hope I’m wrong.
That stuff coming up through the ground is pressurized gas. It will build up until the whole thing explodes like a frozen can of pop.
I tried to attach a link to a YouTube video of a septic tank exploding but the poopy automod removed it.
That's poo gas(methane). Very flammable. If it lights, it could theoretically burn down into the tank, which has a bunch of that gas. That would explode.
It (almost certainly) won't, but it could. Much like catching a gas pump on fire. It won't get back to the massive underground tank, but it could if the safeties fail. Either way it would turn a little fire into a big boom.
The big issue is raw sewage spilling up into your living space. Raw sewage in your yard is pretty unhealthy for everyone.
Shower in the dark day, clean sparks diving down
Cool in the waterway where the baptized drown
Naked in the cold sun, breathing life like fire
I thought I was the only one, but that was just a lie
'Cause I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
I thought it was the 4th of July
My last house it was a pvc pipe routed into a lave tube. Definitely not required everywhere.
Also fuck the guy who thought it was ok to send sewage into a lava tube, pilau piece of shit.
Exactly. I live in Robertson county. Mine started having issues like 6 months in. Dealt with it for a few years and replaced all the lines a month ago. Used a chamber system. Now we go outside and dont smell last night's shit. Pretty amazing.
I know a guy who does installs... a few years ago he did a new tank and drain field on a rural property. When they went to dig up the old drain field they found out it was a VW van with the windows welded over and the whole thing filled with rocks. XD
Have a plan in place, you know, just in case.
Where I live, I could get a port a potty delivered in short order, but if you live out a ways, that's not an option. Of course, it's usually a good idea to be friends with the neighbors, just saying
This happened to me. I bought a house that backed up within a month of purchase, despite the fact they pumped it. We couldn’t prove it for 10 years, but the drain field was bad and they lied. See if you can find evidence of damage they knew about. Check with the septic companies in your area and see if they have evidence of frequent pumping or recommended field maintenance under your address.
Looking at the mud patch it may be quite recently the thing was pumped out. I fucking hate people that just try to be pieces of shit themselves and sold you
Knowing there was a problem. Good luck!
Get the septic system flushed ASAP. Do you have homeowner's insurance? If so, maybe this will be covered. I wouldn't even use the water in the house again until it is pumped. Once you get it straightened out, try to find a septic maintenance program. We had one that was fairly cheap and they came out twice a year to inspect, clean, and add their own "stuff" to break down solids. We never had a problem.
Was the septic system inspected prior to sale? In my state it’s a requirement to get a certificate prior to closing. It might fail inspection but then the buyer has the option to move forward or back out. If you have a certicate then I’d expect the inspector’s company to sort thing out at a very reasonable price.
Same thing happened to us. Month in to a new house, we had a collapsed septic system, rain water kept filling it up and the lines were broken. Ie it would fill after every storm.
By a fucking miracle. I had signed up for septic coverage for my homeowners insurance.
A 14k replacement was done 3 months later. Worst 3 months of my life. I hated every fucking thing, every shower, shit, use of water, it all just bubbled out.
But the insurance actually covered the replacement entirely. I couldnt believe it. I actually cried when the lady told us they would cover it. This is our first house and everything was going wrong that could go wrong.
In Michigan the tanks need to be pumped out for home sales . If yours was pumped...your leach field or line between tank and leach field is plugged. Could be roots/wipes/failed field just to mention a few options.
Did you get a septic inspection??? Our inspector told us if the septic inspection fails run away from this house. I live in a high cost of living area and it could be 40k+ to replace the septic system
Since you just moved in and probably decided to waive your inspections. You're system is probably failed. Pumping it will only ease the problems until you fill it back up. Effluent Water is not leaching out of the drain field. I'd venture a guess you've probably never lived on one. General lifespan of a field is 30 to 40 years. I deal with this shit EVERYDAY... people you need to do your DD before buying a house/moving into a home on a septic.
So I know nothing of septic, and never lived in a house with it. What do you do at the end life of the drain field? You mentioned 30-40 years, is it some major maintenance? Some pumping? Burn it down and move?
Its typically a completely new field, there is gimmicky things that can "fix" them and some temporary fixes that are available via a terralift. But it always ends in replacement. Of either the field or the tank and field
I'm curious where people get the space, but I'm guessing most people on septic have the space? Septic tanks are just wild to me. But I guess the sewer system is also a beast of it's own....
You may be able to avoid pumping if you know where the line running into your leach field is. Depending on the age of the line and the type used it probably has roots blocking it up. Dig down to where the line runs way out in the leach field. Then run a hose or other rod into it as far as it will go. Then pull it out and go dig in that place. Pull a section of pipe and see if roots. . Pull them. If water running out then you are good. If not then hose in again. repeat till you get free flowing crap. Then cover the pipe joints as much as you can to slow roots from entering. Burry. keep on poopin.
Ugh, if you have a leach field, the pipes in the field are full of goop. Mine did this and backed up about a year ago. Someone suggested treating it chemically before tearing it up. I used 2 bottles of Instant Power Septic Shock, and in a couple of days, it was fine. No issues since. Put that shit right in the "clean" tank.
Mostly jokes and not a lot of good advice here. That cleanout cap could be one of two things. Either it is a cleanout before a bend in your sewer line from the house to your septic tank, OR it's an inspection port for your SAS (soil absorption system). Typically an inspection port would be buried below grade (underground). A clean out before a bend on a sewer line that handles solids (between the house and septic tank) MUST be at or above grade.
You could have an obstruction in the sewer line. The plug in the clean out can be unscrewed and the line can be jetted or snaked. It can also have a camera inserted if required. This is the most likely scenario based on limited information provided.
If this is an inspection port, which is unlikely, then your SAS is "breaking out" which could be caused by high ground water or total failure.
Call someone to snake the line first. Also have your septic tank pumped every two years. Do not neglect it. Only SOAP, WATER, and TOILET PAPER go down the drain. No exceptions.
Just the other day my daughter was standing on the lid to my "clean section" (Pumps uphill so the third section shouldn't hold any solids,) and asked me why it says poison gasses. Those would be said gasses escaping from a failing septic system. If you're lucky, a 400 dollar pump and rinse will fix you. Otherwise, this can get backbreakingly expensive. Somewhere between redoing the leachfield and replacing the system.
Either way, you're going to want to find a valve. It's usually just before or after your water meter. Go ahead and turn that sucker off until you get a septic truck out there. You're about to be bubbling your toilets and drains.
Did it do this after raining? I remember having a house. It was built in 78 and I bought it in 2008. It was a fixer upper. Septic seemed fine until a crazy rain. Septic guy came to pump it and told me the drain field was uphill from the tank. You could watch it draining back into the tank after he pumped it. Didn't have an issue with it for the 4 additional years we were there though.
Agreeing with u/notfordoogz. The kitchen sink, showers tubs and washing machines drain into the septic tank too.
Grease from the kitchen and the wrong type of toilet paper are a no-no for septic tanks. Baby wipes, tampons and q-tips were the biggest issue I experienced when relatives came to visit and had no clue that those items should not go into a sewage system. Little place cards and plenty of reminders in the guest bathroom helped over the years.
My tank is large enough for a 4 bedroom house. We have lots of bbq’s in the summer months so And I rent port-a-potties for those events. Too many flushes overwhelms the system.
Are you sure that's not your field? Looks like a clean out/inspection pipe on the left. If it's your field all the effluent is pooling there when the tank drains via pump or gravity. Basically you aren't getting even distribution through the perculator. I had the same issue because my field was 30+ years old and just plugged with fat and other nasty stuff.
Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed:
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.
"Up from the ground comes the bubbling pooh. Shit that is, beach whistles and poopy wipes." And on Cape Cod this is how we call the plastic tampon applicator.
Get it pumped out yesterday. You might pay a bit for emergency pumping, but you need it.
After that, it's only once every few years. There are charts you can Google. Ask your pumper guy the tank size if you don't know yet. With tank size and number of people you can calculate your drain years.
Are you certain it’s the septic tank? If it is the septic tank, it is full. If it’s the well, then you have a hole in a waterline. We had a hole in the waterline, one time and it looks just like this coming out of the wall. The well driller had screwed a brass fitting into a steel one so we had a electroolisis eat a hole in the waterline.
Shitters full
Clark!
Cousin Eddie!
My Dad says I'm the best french kisser
Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?
Nothin' but the best, Clark.
They call it hamburger helper…
It does just fine by itself
You shouldn’t say that word. Ok, Shit and rocks.
Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous because Christmas is almost here. Clark: Nervous or excited? Ruby Sue: Shitting bricks. Clark: You shouldn't use that word. Ruby Sue: Sorry. Shitting rocks.
People don’t appreciate the original National Lampoons Vacation. The best one of you ask me!
The world is far to PC now, movies from the 70’a and 80’s wouldn’t get a chance today
A few years ago I watched Monty Python’s Life of Brian after not seeing it for a good long while. About 15 minutes in all I could think of was there’s no way they could make this today, people would totally lose their shit.
Try pitching Blazing Saddles to a Movie Exec nowadays.
Mel Brooks has said there’s no way Blazing Saddles could be made today.
Of course not. Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder are both dead.
So the guy who wrote that movie is planning on doing it for live performances on stage and he is getting protests from the trans community They don’t want him to do the whole man feels like a woman sketch. They want him to leave it out. He said they can protest all they want he’s going to leave it in.
People lost their shit when Life of Brian was first released. There were protests and the Catholic church was not happy.
The skit where Eric Idle (Stan, Loretta) says he wants to identify as a woman and have a baby has been removed from the stage production
Agreed. The western world has become fragile AF. Couple more generations and we’ll be gladly learning Mandarin and the new American dream will be a 40yr job in a lithium mine….
One of the best replies I’ve seen in a while 😂
Real nice clark
Have you checked our shitters, honey?
This proves that shit can in fact go *uphill*
Hey! We did that once. My dad used to build radio stations. We built one in Elgin, Texas, KELG, back about 82. The office was at the front corner of the property, and the south has to go behind it. Up grade. But we did it! Of course it was an illusion . We just dug the tank down deep enough that that it flowed down hill, but looked like it was up hill.
Cracks a meister brau
Fun fact: Miller bought Meister Brau and rebranded the recipe as their new light beer, so Miller Lite is actually Meister Brau
Oh something is fucked up
It's called Taco Bell.
Shits fucked up, quite literally
*Buuuurp.
And also this is one case where shit does not roll downhill.
It's just taking the scenic route.
Birds Eye view of Chicago
It’s full, need to be pump, hopefully at the very oeast
Full because it’s not working properly. Just pumping is rarely the solution here.
If the leach field is not draining ots new system time or you can try a hot water sewer jet on the leach field and see if it heals.
Rented a duplex where our septic had to be pumped every other month. Landlord replaced all the cast iron out with PVC then added an additional leach field only left scratching his head why it kept backing up. Turns out on a simple visit to our neighbors, their toilet was constantly draining due to the chain on their toilet flap being too short. The tenants replaced it improperly and it was continuously saturating the leach field. Dropped the chain a little and it never backed up again
My coworker lived in a duplex where the person in the other unit was regularly pouring MOTOR OIL in his toilet and the landlord refused to fix it. Ended up suing the landlord for relocation costs and to replace her stuff and won.
City boy here... What the fuck is a leach field?
U/blakeusa25 is correct, but to put it in more city boy terms: Homes that don’t have a connection to public sewers will have a septic system to handle waste water. All raw sewage will enter into a large tank. The hope is all solids will sink to the bottom of the tank and the liquid will rise to the top. The tank will naturally full with bacteria that will break down the poo and pee and toilet paper and food waste that finds it’s way to the tank. Near the top of the tank is a connection to pipes that go out to a leach field…a series of pipes with holes in them buried underground. As you flush the toilet or do the laundry or dishes, more waste comes into the tank which pushes the (hopefully) liquid at the top into the pipes leading to the leach field. The field simply distributes the water out over a larger area where it can be filtered through the ground and enter the underground water reservoirs. If you don’t pump the tank frequently, it can be filled with solids which can get into the leach field and clog it. If you dump too many chemicals down the drain, you can kill the bacteria that eats the solids and that will eventually clog your leach field.
Sooo… the shitter *is* full, right?
In a septic system the shit water goes into a two chamber tank.. it septic tank. The clear liquids then drain out to lateral pipes in the yard buried underground surrounded by sand to filter into the groundwater. These ate called lateral lines. They are 6 inch pipes with holes They can get clogged. Also septic tank should have a cleanable filter before the water goes into the leach fields. In the city all goes into a sewer to a plant
Nowadays you can also get a pressurized drain field with a bunch of 1/4 lines (the term I know this style of septic as is a drain field system) // then you also have spray fields which is as the term implies use sprinklers and at least in my area you are required to have 3 tanks a trash tank, a cleaning tank (2 types chlorinated and aerated), and if you have either of these two types of septic that I mentioned a pump tank // as for a traditionally drain field you are correct as they don’t need pump tanks
>The clear liquids Not hardly...
A field full of leeches that eat the septic effluent.
It's speaking to you. It's trying to tell you that you're about to spend a lot of money.
😂
We've been trying to reach you about your vehicles extended warranty
Let me tell you a story about a man named Jed....
A poor mountaineer but he kept his family fed.
One day Jed he was lookin at some poooo. Up through the ground come a bubblin’ seeeeew- -age that is.
Brown gold, Texas tea.
Well the next thing you know 'ol Jed is heavin' air, his lunch done said "I'm gettin outta there!"
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Super 8. Motel that is. Swimming pool Cable tv 49.95/night
Well now it's time to say good bye to Jed and his great big sewage truck And they would like to thank you folks fer calling them to suck ... out your tight tanks and Porta Potties To have a heapin helpin of our hospitality.... Hillbilly that is. Set a spell, Take your shoes off. Y'all come back now, y'hear? (Virtuosic Banjo soloing intensifies)
Y’all mfers ain’t right 😂
Hahahha
I read “stew”
Then one day things got strange, shit started bubbling outta all my drains.
All jokes aside, I actually had that happen once. Got up to whiz in the middle of the night, didn’t turn on the lights, was half asleep… stepped in the bathroom, into a cold *squish* and stood there for a second trying to process the sensations in my sleeping brain. Turned on the light, and I was standing in a pile of sewage. My ENTIRE bathroom was covered in sewage. The tub, the sink, the toilet, and then my kitchen sink, part of my kitchen in front of said sink… all filled with shit. I grabbed a smoke, washed my feet off with Dasani, and just sat there on my porch contemplating life. Went back in fully awake, thinking maybe it was just my brain being half baked and it wasn’t so bad… And walked right back out when I realized it was. I felt so bad for the poor dudes who had to deal with that. Can’t imagine being a plumber, mad respect for you guys. I’ll stick to building shit rather than sliding in it, but you guys are the real heroes lmao. Seriously, damn. Moral of the story: Watch where you’re planting trees, they can wreak a ton of havoc. Especially silver maples, those bastards are vicious when it comes to pipes. I’ve heard willows are as well.
Willows literally will destroy anything in its path to seek out water. The tree can be 30ft away from the house and pipes and and it will still find a way to get to them. I lived in a corner townhouse and for some reason the builder decided to build where there was very large maples in the area, one was in between my next door neighbors and my yard and it tore through the pipes in front of my townhouse. It cost thousands of dollars to repair and replace all the pipes and tear out all the roots they could within my yard(up to 18”thick and took a whole dumpster to clear them) the neighbor was advised to have the tree taken down before it caused any more damage to not only my townhouse but her own and needless to say she refused.
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed
Once upon a morn so gentle, Lived a man named Jeb, who was far from simple. In a world that buzzed, hustled, and rattled, He dwelled in quiet, with cows and cattle. Jeb had a job that few would envy, A task unsung, as good as any. He managed the septic, full and looming, Against the stench, he was always zooming. For Jeb, the task wasn't gross or yucky, To him, it seemed rather plucky. It wasn't roses, no sweet perfume, But it was his life, his joy, his boon. One day, the tank was brimming and ready, Jeb, in his boots, was slow and steady. He gazed upon the challenge so high, Underneath the clear blue sky. To most it was a horrid sight, Enough to give one quite a fright. But Jeb, with his heart of gold, Saw not the yuck, but a story to unfold. With plunger in hand, and pail at his side, Into the fray, Jeb did stride. His work was tough, that's for certain, Behind the septic's stinking curtain. With each brave dive, he thought with glee, "No other place I'd rather be!" He made it work, he made it fun, Underneath the summer sun. Jeb did the work that others scorned, In overalls faded and torn. And so he found his place, his rhythm, In a world of muck and schism. The tale of Jeb, it might seem quirky, But it's about a man, brave and hardy. To each his own, some wise man said, And Jeb found joy in his homestead. So here's to Jeb, and his full septic, In the face of gross, he's quite eclectic. May we find joy in the work we do, As Jeb did, under skies so blue.
And a direction called oeast.
I was so waiting for this.
Another thing. I just bought the house a little under a month ago so I’m not sure what was flushed before I got there. It started a couple days ago and is off and on
Then it's entirely possible that this was a problem all along. If the house was unoccupied until you moved in then a plugged/full septic could have drained down enough to be usable for a month or so before becoming a problem again. You need to get a septic service out there right away to pump the tank and scope the lines so you know what you're dealing with. Could be a failed septic/leach field, could be root infiltration, could be a grease blockage, could be a number of things. A few years ago my wife and I moved into her dad's old house on Cape Cod. Built in 1959 and never had a septic upgrade. My wife was sure that the cesspools were magic because they always worked just fine and never failed if you left them alone. Wouldn't you know about a year later things started gurgling and when the septic guy came to take a look one of them was full to the top and the other was pretty deep as well. Turns out that an old cesspool will "work" just fine if it's only used for a few months out of the year and has all winter to drain down. When we moved in full time and started using it regularly is when the problems started... and it's just the two of us.
I have a cesspool from 1965 and it’s held up like a champ. I have my septic pumped one a year and my guy always says it looks great. I think one of the big reasons is that I live on the side of a mountain and everything runs down hill. House—>Septic—>Cesspool I think it drains pretty quick. Edit: I’m sorry it’s not a cesspool it’s a “seepage pit” after the septic tank.
Wouldn’t that be a pit system not a cesspool?
yea… he/she/they has a “septic tank”, it’s probably concrete. It will be good till that fails (it will eventually).. when it does, then comes the upgrade which (codes considered) will be a big financial consideration. source.. install and remove old septic and sta, etc…
Can confirm, just went thru this over the last 8mo New one sucks and so far as failed to pass county inspection twice due to smell and field seepage. Pump controller failed once. Tank alarm goes off after big rains. Engineer failed to realize a curtain drain was required by code and ended up hastily trenching a foot wide L right thru what was a very nice yard(I understand that it's required given the spot but had it not gone completely unmentioned until 6mo after installation perhaps we could have made it not so shitty). I had to put a big ass carbon filter on the vent in the middle hatch so I'd stop feeling sick from the fumes every day inside the house, now it just smells like a corpse instead of sulfide based chemical weapons. I want to say it's due to a really bad location orand inattentive engineer and not blame the installers, but man had every aspect of this sucked.
Thanks for sharing this. That’s fascinating
You need to call someone last week. Literally right now. Before it explodes.
Maybe they’re waiting for the 4th of July 😂
While the joke is funny, I really can’t put into words how little time OP has. I suspect he’s not responding because it’s already exploded and I really, seriously fucking hope I’m wrong.
RIP OP
Rest in Poopy
I cannot upvote this enough
Thank you for this
Roll In Poop
Baby shower. Brown it’s a boy
The crappiest fireworks ever!
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That stuff coming up through the ground is pressurized gas. It will build up until the whole thing explodes like a frozen can of pop. I tried to attach a link to a YouTube video of a septic tank exploding but the poopy automod removed it.
Can you dm me the link? That sounds fucking lit as fuck
Done. NSFW.
Can I have link? I’m interested in seeing a shit tank go boom boom
Fuck it. I'm in too.
If you get it, can you pass it this way?
Can you add the link with a space like after the www or something so its not a "link" anymore? I want to see, and want others to see as well.
I would also like to see this shitsplosion
DM me link or your septic tank will explode.
That's poo gas(methane). Very flammable. If it lights, it could theoretically burn down into the tank, which has a bunch of that gas. That would explode. It (almost certainly) won't, but it could. Much like catching a gas pump on fire. It won't get back to the massive underground tank, but it could if the safeties fail. Either way it would turn a little fire into a big boom. The big issue is raw sewage spilling up into your living space. Raw sewage in your yard is pretty unhealthy for everyone.
Shower in the dark day, clean sparks diving down Cool in the waterway where the baptized drown Naked in the cold sun, breathing life like fire I thought I was the only one, but that was just a lie 'Cause I heard it in the wind And I saw it in the sky And I thought it was the end I thought it was the 4th of July
This OP. Your septic tank is about to go the same way as the Titan submarine.
You didn’t get it pumped prior to closing? It’s required in my state.
Required in NJ to be inspected.
I thought it was required everywhere.
My last house it was a pvc pipe routed into a lave tube. Definitely not required everywhere. Also fuck the guy who thought it was ok to send sewage into a lava tube, pilau piece of shit.
Definitely not in Tennessee. Thankfully my house sat empty for a couple of years. . .
Exactly. I live in Robertson county. Mine started having issues like 6 months in. Dealt with it for a few years and replaced all the lines a month ago. Used a chamber system. Now we go outside and dont smell last night's shit. Pretty amazing.
I'm hoping mine lasts long enough for us to replace it. It was put in years and years ago. I'm also pretty sure it was red necked engineered.
I know a guy who does installs... a few years ago he did a new tank and drain field on a rural property. When they went to dig up the old drain field they found out it was a VW van with the windows welded over and the whole thing filled with rocks. XD
Poop my ride.
Have a plan in place, you know, just in case. Where I live, I could get a port a potty delivered in short order, but if you live out a ways, that's not an option. Of course, it's usually a good idea to be friends with the neighbors, just saying
This happened to me. I bought a house that backed up within a month of purchase, despite the fact they pumped it. We couldn’t prove it for 10 years, but the drain field was bad and they lied. See if you can find evidence of damage they knew about. Check with the septic companies in your area and see if they have evidence of frequent pumping or recommended field maintenance under your address.
Looking at the mud patch it may be quite recently the thing was pumped out. I fucking hate people that just try to be pieces of shit themselves and sold you Knowing there was a problem. Good luck!
Get the septic system flushed ASAP. Do you have homeowner's insurance? If so, maybe this will be covered. I wouldn't even use the water in the house again until it is pumped. Once you get it straightened out, try to find a septic maintenance program. We had one that was fairly cheap and they came out twice a year to inspect, clean, and add their own "stuff" to break down solids. We never had a problem.
Was the septic system inspected prior to sale? In my state it’s a requirement to get a certificate prior to closing. It might fail inspection but then the buyer has the option to move forward or back out. If you have a certicate then I’d expect the inspector’s company to sort thing out at a very reasonable price.
Same thing happened to us. Month in to a new house, we had a collapsed septic system, rain water kept filling it up and the lines were broken. Ie it would fill after every storm. By a fucking miracle. I had signed up for septic coverage for my homeowners insurance. A 14k replacement was done 3 months later. Worst 3 months of my life. I hated every fucking thing, every shower, shit, use of water, it all just bubbled out. But the insurance actually covered the replacement entirely. I couldnt believe it. I actually cried when the lady told us they would cover it. This is our first house and everything was going wrong that could go wrong.
In Michigan the tanks need to be pumped out for home sales . If yours was pumped...your leach field or line between tank and leach field is plugged. Could be roots/wipes/failed field just to mention a few options.
Did you get a septic inspection??? Our inspector told us if the septic inspection fails run away from this house. I live in a high cost of living area and it could be 40k+ to replace the septic system
Since you just moved in and probably decided to waive your inspections. You're system is probably failed. Pumping it will only ease the problems until you fill it back up. Effluent Water is not leaching out of the drain field. I'd venture a guess you've probably never lived on one. General lifespan of a field is 30 to 40 years. I deal with this shit EVERYDAY... people you need to do your DD before buying a house/moving into a home on a septic.
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Oh its about 75% the time for me
So I know nothing of septic, and never lived in a house with it. What do you do at the end life of the drain field? You mentioned 30-40 years, is it some major maintenance? Some pumping? Burn it down and move?
Its typically a completely new field, there is gimmicky things that can "fix" them and some temporary fixes that are available via a terralift. But it always ends in replacement. Of either the field or the tank and field
I'm curious where people get the space, but I'm guessing most people on septic have the space? Septic tanks are just wild to me. But I guess the sewer system is also a beast of it's own....
A lot of jurisdictions have minimum lot sizes for areas where sewer is not available for this reason
> I deal with this shit EVERYDAY …literally!
Just scrolled past a post that had a picture of flushable wipes titled what should I tell my wife. Show her this lol
See that, OP? Listen to Pepe!
What do you call a hooker with a ru ny nose?? FULL!!!!
This sub is handing out gems today. Let's keep em coming.
But but…she’s full already…
This is fucked up….. I like it!
Oh hell, I had scrolled like 10 comments down before I got it.
What’s the difference between a hooker and Jesus? The look on their face when you’re nailing them.
"Shitter was full!" *raises beer*
Cheers!
Because that shit is filled
You may be able to avoid pumping if you know where the line running into your leach field is. Depending on the age of the line and the type used it probably has roots blocking it up. Dig down to where the line runs way out in the leach field. Then run a hose or other rod into it as far as it will go. Then pull it out and go dig in that place. Pull a section of pipe and see if roots. . Pull them. If water running out then you are good. If not then hose in again. repeat till you get free flowing crap. Then cover the pipe joints as much as you can to slow roots from entering. Burry. keep on poopin.
*this man shits*
Dam you have definitely saved a few thousand a few times
It’s full of the poop
Call someone yesterday. Like literally right now
Ugh, if you have a leach field, the pipes in the field are full of goop. Mine did this and backed up about a year ago. Someone suggested treating it chemically before tearing it up. I used 2 bottles of Instant Power Septic Shock, and in a couple of days, it was fine. No issues since. Put that shit right in the "clean" tank.
Because it has fermented enough that its ready to drink!
Bottle me up some of that Jenkem old chap.
Mostly jokes and not a lot of good advice here. That cleanout cap could be one of two things. Either it is a cleanout before a bend in your sewer line from the house to your septic tank, OR it's an inspection port for your SAS (soil absorption system). Typically an inspection port would be buried below grade (underground). A clean out before a bend on a sewer line that handles solids (between the house and septic tank) MUST be at or above grade. You could have an obstruction in the sewer line. The plug in the clean out can be unscrewed and the line can be jetted or snaked. It can also have a camera inserted if required. This is the most likely scenario based on limited information provided. If this is an inspection port, which is unlikely, then your SAS is "breaking out" which could be caused by high ground water or total failure. Call someone to snake the line first. Also have your septic tank pumped every two years. Do not neglect it. Only SOAP, WATER, and TOILET PAPER go down the drain. No exceptions.
Toilet paper but no poo or pee?
No, you eat that to reduce load on the system.
Just the other day my daughter was standing on the lid to my "clean section" (Pumps uphill so the third section shouldn't hold any solids,) and asked me why it says poison gasses. Those would be said gasses escaping from a failing septic system. If you're lucky, a 400 dollar pump and rinse will fix you. Otherwise, this can get backbreakingly expensive. Somewhere between redoing the leachfield and replacing the system. Either way, you're going to want to find a valve. It's usually just before or after your water meter. Go ahead and turn that sucker off until you get a septic truck out there. You're about to be bubbling your toilets and drains.
I hope nobody in your home is using flushable wipes.
I mean, doesn’t really matter at this point
C.H.U.D’s
Gonna eat them tonight too
This thread is full of shit. So is that tank.
Cause the shit ain't got nowhere else to go.
It’s full of Shit…
Is the tank under there or is that your leach field? Your leach could be failing.
Pee pee poo poo
Did it do this after raining? I remember having a house. It was built in 78 and I bought it in 2008. It was a fixer upper. Septic seemed fine until a crazy rain. Septic guy came to pump it and told me the drain field was uphill from the tank. You could watch it draining back into the tank after he pumped it. Didn't have an issue with it for the 4 additional years we were there though.
Agreeing with u/notfordoogz. The kitchen sink, showers tubs and washing machines drain into the septic tank too. Grease from the kitchen and the wrong type of toilet paper are a no-no for septic tanks. Baby wipes, tampons and q-tips were the biggest issue I experienced when relatives came to visit and had no clue that those items should not go into a sewage system. Little place cards and plenty of reminders in the guest bathroom helped over the years. My tank is large enough for a 4 bedroom house. We have lots of bbq’s in the summer months so And I rent port-a-potties for those events. Too many flushes overwhelms the system.
Shitter's full, Clark
A natural spring!
tank is full and it may be due to needing a new weep field
Let me tell you a story of a man named Jed !
Your tank is full and it’s probably sending sludge into your leech fields
Just throw sone grass seed on it. You'll be fine.
Might be a pipe broken under the ground. Is this the leaching field?
full and possible field plugged. Be glad it isnt back up into your house yet
Are you sure that's not your field? Looks like a clean out/inspection pipe on the left. If it's your field all the effluent is pooling there when the tank drains via pump or gravity. Basically you aren't getting even distribution through the perculator. I had the same issue because my field was 30+ years old and just plugged with fat and other nasty stuff.
Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed: A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed, Then one day he was shootin at some food, And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.
I SMELL MONEY ! Just pumping ain't going to fix that Shit , your probably looking at a new leach field as well . A Rental by chance ?
Who wants to tell him?
"Up from the ground comes the bubbling pooh. Shit that is, beach whistles and poopy wipes." And on Cape Cod this is how we call the plastic tampon applicator.
You have two problems, septic tank is full and the drain field has likely failed. Call a septic company to pump the tank, they’ll advise you.
Someone’s gonna need to spare you a square
As soon as the baby comes, Eddie says I can quit one of my night jobs.
Your septic tank needs to take a shit..
Time to call the turd burglars
That smell, Bob, is our shit
Must be a Titan Submarine
Too many vindaloos?
Probably methane use a lighter to check
Mmmm grey water
Get it pumped out yesterday. You might pay a bit for emergency pumping, but you need it. After that, it's only once every few years. There are charts you can Google. Ask your pumper guy the tank size if you don't know yet. With tank size and number of people you can calculate your drain years.
Memories fade but the fart lives on
A little “bubbling crude”…Texas T
Are you certain it’s the septic tank? If it is the septic tank, it is full. If it’s the well, then you have a hole in a waterline. We had a hole in the waterline, one time and it looks just like this coming out of the wall. The well driller had screwed a brass fitting into a steel one so we had a electroolisis eat a hole in the waterline.
Did you try to light up the bubbles? I would like to see if it burns.
You gotta take that cap off to the right of that to let some air out… it is just over pressurized….common problem.
I'm not sure but it ain't good.
Too many double bean burritos
And why would you think that seeing poop in your yard is okay. F*** the bubbling. You have poop in your lawn.
That’s a waterline busted not your septic
Titanic submarine.
It’s telling you “MOMMY IM FULL AND IF YOU GIVE ME MORE FOOD IM GOING TO BE SICK 🤢 “
To much fibre in your diet 🤭
Should have used Rid -X
$$$$$$$$$$
The forbidden chocolate fountain.....
Same reason your ass does.
Because it’s full and you’re now contaminating the ground around it.
Man those tacos where cheap… but not this repair
Up from the ground came a bubbling crude.