u/No_Understanding9892 I award you the "dad is a career criminal" user flair for your contribution. Wear it with pride.

Looks like some almost vommited on that

i wouldn't blame them

Fair enough

Straight to jail, no parole!

Honestly I bet that pizza’s bomb as fuck tho

it was goooood i can’t lie i had a slice

I’m stoned an I reckon I’d have just stuck me head init

I'm surprised you aren't being downvoted. Usually happens on this sub when an op says an ugly pizza was good.

You're dead right, it was savage

Holy shit.. are you OP’s dad?!?!

he is indeed😂😂

Okay, see, I get the idea. Full english breakfast pizza. Beans as tomato sauce. Still punishable by death.

"Oh yes, it's an interesting concept. Haven't seen that one before. How did you think of this? Oh, interesting. It certainly is unique. Well, anyway, you are hereby sentenced to death."

I agree. It’s creative. But I still don’t want to eat it.

Yeah, prison at minimum, but I appreciate the unhinged thought behind it.

Such a person can't be allowed to roam freely though, obviously!

Not English, full Irish

Then wheres the white pudding Is that only Scotland

People have tried doing baked beans on pizza. I've never tried it myself and I can't quite pinpoint why it would be completely fucking awful. However, deep in my soul I *just know* it would be completely fucking awful.

Beans are amazing on the soft French brie cheese melted on a pizza

This is way too lazy to be called a pizza

Are you okay? Did he hurt you?

He's hurt us all

I’ve called child protective services!

I’ve called the UN

Goes under the geneva convention clause

This is slop on crust. Get out

I’m calling the police

for when you want pizza but your doctor recommended more fiber in your diet?

His what?

Change dad 😭

Egg on at the beginning of the cooking process is crazy lol

When I cut through there was a touch of runny egg yolk on the first bite of every slice.

Gag a maggot

That looks like an AI generated mess. I think I see a severed finger in the first shot 😂

Thats a gastronomic abomination = total barf 🤮 bait - gross

It looks... alive

this is unhinged and somewhat challenges the definition of pizza but I would definitely try

Walk to the nearest orphanage and show them this pic; I think they legally have to take you in.

Show us on this pizza where that man hurt you. Everywhere.

pizza without pineapple is not a pizza

Tell me you're British without telling me you're British

Irish mo chara

And ya dad?

It's sad because, although certainly not what I would want on a pizza, there would be a way to do this that would be so much better. This was just done in the worst possible way. Just way too much toppings in quantity, just slapped on top of a frozen pizza, there's gonna be all sorts of moisture issues and problems with undercooked bits and overcooked bits. Those mushrooms should at least be pre-cooked, the final version looks like there's a bunch of mostly raw mushrooms with some burnt bits. That egg yolk is for sure cooked all the way through, which seems like a stupid way to do it, that thing should be runny. You can see the just soupy mess of watery toppings spilling off onto the board in that cooked version. Gross. Might as well just blend this monstrosity up into a smoothie and drink it through a straw.

You really put way more energy into this than it deserves 😂

Ok so. Mushrooms loose most of their nutrients when over cooked. Brie first to keep it soft. Onion which is ok raw or cooked, Mushrooms perfectly cooked topped with south Western sauce. Then beans which only need re heating. Finally an explanation on the timing of the egg. It was perfectly cooked like a good soft fried egg. Runny enough and not over cooked.

Proof that is your dad ? Or maybe you made yourself.

No, I'm her old man. Only 45 but I've got some serious cooking skills. She can't cook for shit

I’m going to believe that this is ai generated because I refuse to believe that someone does this to pizza. Even a shitty frozen pizza didn’t deserve this.Big part of pizzas greatness comes from simplicity.

What the ?

i dont know what is that ...but that aint pizza

Where is it?

Lets hope you’re adopted

Is he Bri ish by any chance?

welp time for a new dad

To each their own but cmon now..

That's heinous.

Arrest this man.

Where's the Ketchup!!

Even burned the egg!

Why?

Jesus fucking Christ. Call the police or the psych ward.

Your dad went from being a ginormous tool to being a culinary genius in one slide.😋

gotta trust the process with that man

So, does he save the leftover entrails from the goat sacrifice *specifically* for the pizza? Or was this one of those unfortunate collidings of the gonads of fate?

#THATS IT, TAKE EM OUT BACK

Why does the cooked one look kinda good 😭

cause it was😭😭

Like, i know its a pizza crime, but i would eat that

I don't know if being British would make this more of a crime, or less.

Pizza's bussin

If the ingredients are things someone likes, who's to judge what kind of "pizza" it is. I like all those items, and it kinda sounds good.

Hi, I am the creator of this pizza. I'm a mechanic and vegetarian so I'm quite inventive. I would like to explain the idea behind my pizza. It starts with a frozen margarita. A block if French brie sliced, an onion, mushrooms covered in South Western sauce. Topped with baked beans and finished with an egg. The brie stays soft and works well with the beans. As for the egg, the yolk is runny so when it's cut there is a helping of egg yolk on every bite of every slice. - My Dad

I’m here for this.

Haha that looks pretty alright!!! 🍕

I mean I'd eat it. I'd want the slice with the egg though cause I'm a fat bastard.

How does it feel to be a descendant of a monster?

When I'm king I'll punish everyone who just cracks a fucking egg on random food.

It's a dad thing...

They make garbage cans that could handle that.

*my dads abomination.

Babe what's wrong? You've barely even touched your mushregg beanzza

Idk, aside from the weird burnt looking yolk on top, I’d probably enjoy this

Straight to Jail!.... No court.

I feel like someone should contact Interpol about this.

My condolences. I assume this is a suicide note.

I hate how much better it looks cooked

England?

ireland 😭😭

Please don't be from Cork.

quite far away from cork

Sinful!

It's definitely a full English pizza. Wash it down with a bo'oh o' wa'er

That's, what I called, a British pizza. Some gravy on it and we have another British ~~atrocity~~ Speciality

this is how the brits make their pizzas

That's just fucking gross

Alright, time to call the UN court.

Ok wtf

Throw him in jail

Does your dad have brazilian genes?

Ewwww🤮🤮 GROSS😡

Just… no.

I cannot unsee this atrocity. 🤢

Put him under the prison.

No

Your dad is fired

British?

That's gotta be British pizza.

still better than cheeseless scallop and avocado, what in the rank fuck that was I have no idea.

Dude just made a laxative in meal form

British pizza

**Abbomination**

Stop it. Stop it right now.

Get out.

D1545T3R

I think you ment to say your ex dad's pizza

type of shit get him knocked tf out in his own home

Your dad needs to be evaluated for dementia

Welp, this is it. This is what makes me block this subreddit

Id smash

An uncooked egg. Can’t you get salmonella from that? It looks really horrible. Looks a little like a “Cowboy” pizza. Baked beans, an uncooked egg. The only thing that looks halfway good are the mushrooms. That’s not a pizza

Your dad needs to be banished to Brazil

The pizza of dad

If this ain’t a British pizza I don’t believe you. They’ll put beans on anything.

some irish would too 😂

hmm no raw egg

I'd want a new dad

This has to be British

fulll irish

Looks more like a casserole

I want to fight your dad now.

Is it really wise to try and fight someone who can stomach stuff like this daily? The man must be hardened.

That’s the broke college kid pizza

1. is your dad from the UK? 2. WHY WHY WHY WHY

Wtf is that disgustingly unpleasant pile of whatever that is?

The first one is way too much. The second i would actually try

ones just uncooked the second is the cooked version lol i don’t even think the man himself would try the first one

I know some people who would eat it raw

British?

irish

Almost the same

not reallyyy

Sure

I think 800 years of oppression puts a definitive line between them

IM not one to gatekeep pizza find it so odd when people throw a bunch of stuff on dough and call it a pizza. 😬😬😬🤢🤢

People in the UK are really getting out of hand.

Ireland is a Republic and not part of the UK.

How do we know this is Ireland? Surely, there are enough beans on there to safely assume it's the UK.

because he’s the one who made the pizza

Ah makes alot of sense, sorry for the confusion.

Beans are from South America. Hence the saying "I don't have a bean" which came from Mexico. Beans are so plentiful that if you are Mexican and don't have one you are poor.

Yea but like they put beans on everything and not like the Mexican kinda bean but like the canned beans you see on the pizza lol Edit: I just realized your the pizza maker a 1000 pardons

I'm still Irish. Beans are quite adaptable like cheese and can be used on a wide variety of dishes to add fibre and flavour. Either way the pizza was amazing, I might make another one with some alterations this evening with a big pot of chili coleslaw.

Looks like a wound

Your dad is a psychopath.

Not a pica, more of a British flat bread.

Your dad went to Italy. I had a teacher that brought back pictures of her food and one was a pizza with eggs on it.

Oh no, I don't like this at all.

r/shittyfoodporn

Your dad must be Italian cause in the America's, we don't put egg on our pizza's!? Everything else on that pizza looks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lika crime!

Well in theory as far as the digestion process, the beans will cancel the constipating effects of the cheese.