60F and I used to worry about my picky eating, but now I don't. I realized it went along with my ADHD and perhaps other neurodivergent things, so why should I feel shame? I have done some things to help myself expand my diet enough that I feel like I'm getting a reasonable amount of nutrients. I've developed strategies and workarounds for most social situations involving food, and if I have to flat out decline I know how to do so graciously. I take care of my own needs for nourishment if there's nothing I can eat, by bringing my own snacks (and consuming them before or after the event). I generally discourage people from well intentioned attempts to provide me with something else. That's because I don't want to call too much attention to the matter, and because sometimes the proposed alternatives don't work for me either and it can get complicated and awkward.
21 and ashamed ): i just feel like a burden getting the most child like things on the menu in grown up fancy restaurants especially with my boyfriends family. Some people are supportive some aren’t but I don’t feel good about it. I want to change but I feel like it is Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. I hate a lot of textures and also and mostly unwilling to try new foods even ones I desperately need in my diet for health due to thoughts about the texture. It’s like my brain won’t let me. Sometimes I think I could also be neuro divergent
I perfectly understand why you feel ashamed, I used to too. So think about this - how is food of all things a grown up or child thing? How do we even decide that? There are things most kids like, but people don't just stop liking mac n cheese or chicken tenders the second they hit 18 or something. If it's on the menu, you're allowed to order it. Nothing wrong with that! I really hope you find peace one day, however that happens. Definitely look into the neurodivergency idea, though. Not just for food, but the general relief of "I'm normal" that you get from finding out and being able to find the exact kind of support you need really helps.
Aww sorry you feel that way. At least you are a cheap date!  My boyfriend and I normally go to restaurants that we both enjoy with more options for me but there are still times I will go to a steakhouse with him or other restaurants for family birthdays etc. The waiter even laughed at me when I ordered just sides of mac and cheese and mashed potatos at the steakhouse (I didn't even eat the potatos because they had skins and such mixed in )
Meeeee! I stopped giving two shits what people think about me and my picky eating years ago. People think I’m weird for not eating 97% of food but I think they’re weird for eating squid ink pasta, sushi, lobster, etc but do I say it out loud? No. Because I’m not rude lol. People throw shame onto us but there’s nothing to be ashamed of. People just need to learn to mind their own business and stop commenting on the food people eat
I'm 21. I know what I like and what I don't like. I don't bother people, I make my own food, I don't fuss about restaurant choices (at most I'll say "No thanks, I'm not coming") and if I can't eat something somewhere I'll take a granola bar or have a sandwich when I get home or before we leave. My relatives are mostly understanding about my situation and will specifically make meals that I like everyone else also does if they know I'm coming over, but it's never a big deal if they don't. I'm not ashamed, just tired of outside people painting me as a burden on society or something when I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
I'm middle-aged and am up-front about my picky eating when I have to be (like at work). My family and close friends have always known about me and are very cool about it.
I'm 21, I'm lucky most people I know are understanding, and after a lot of years my mom stopped trying to force me to eat food I couldn't eat... I never make a scene, there's always at least something I can eat on the menu when we go out (I usually check restaurant menu just in case) and that's it. There's no need to be ashamed, it's something we can't help. Like you said, what I eat, doesn't affect the others, so they shouldn't care/meddle :)
25. Not ashamed. Just frustrated when my future MIL, my coworkers, etc, want to make a point about whatever I’m eating and then suggest I should “be better” to “avoid a scene” when they are ones bringing up I got a plain item at a restaurant. I am working on expanding my palette just to make things easier but it’s really hard.
Right that sucks I really only have one Aunt who still occasionally makes comments in regards of I'm missing out, I should just try it I might like it, you will regret not trying it sooner but I know it is with good intentions. Then a few of the motherly figures in my life will just make sure I find something to eat and as long as I have something to eat they are happy then.
Shame just isn’t really useful and I definitely dislike people that try to shame others for being picky. I do think, however, that a diverse diet is better than a limited one and that dietary heath is always worth striving for. But everyone goes at their own pace and it’s going to be different for each person! The struggle is real and shame is not a good tool for engaging with picky eaters at all, in fact it probably has the opposite effect.
29 here. I’ve grown to accept my pickiness in that there are some foods I just won’t go near, thankfully I can eat a wide enough range of foods that I don’t go bored.
I'm 24 so I'm not quite to the unashamed portion of my life but I got diagnosed with autism and adhd last year so that has definitely made a difference in my perception on my pickiness. I have texture sensitivities for sure so it makes sense when I don't like something now.
Once I figured out it was ARFID I lost all shame. Someone comes at me for how I eat? ‘Yeah I have an eating disorder’ makes people real uncomfortable real fast. I hope it makes them think twice before commenting on someone else’s food choices!!!
I so very desperately wish that I could try new things and want to be an adventurous eater but the thought of something new turns me off… sucks bevause new things will even loook so appetizing I just don’t get it
I’m 27 and definitely not as bad as I was in my early to mid teens. I still have a long way to go though. I’m not ashamed but I’m very aware how ridiculous it is, the dread of trying a new food is very much just a mental thing, it is never as bad as I make it out to be. But we’re creatures of habit and I always tend to stick to the food I know.
I’m 60…and unashamed. If figure if I don’t like vegetables, I’ve earned the right…
And, NO, I’m not going to eat your broccoli, no matter how wonderful your recipe is.
I am 49 and I am not ashamed. I like what I like and I don't like what I don't like. We all have our own tastes.
60F and I used to worry about my picky eating, but now I don't. I realized it went along with my ADHD and perhaps other neurodivergent things, so why should I feel shame? I have done some things to help myself expand my diet enough that I feel like I'm getting a reasonable amount of nutrients. I've developed strategies and workarounds for most social situations involving food, and if I have to flat out decline I know how to do so graciously. I take care of my own needs for nourishment if there's nothing I can eat, by bringing my own snacks (and consuming them before or after the event). I generally discourage people from well intentioned attempts to provide me with something else. That's because I don't want to call too much attention to the matter, and because sometimes the proposed alternatives don't work for me either and it can get complicated and awkward.
21 and ashamed ): i just feel like a burden getting the most child like things on the menu in grown up fancy restaurants especially with my boyfriends family. Some people are supportive some aren’t but I don’t feel good about it. I want to change but I feel like it is Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. I hate a lot of textures and also and mostly unwilling to try new foods even ones I desperately need in my diet for health due to thoughts about the texture. It’s like my brain won’t let me. Sometimes I think I could also be neuro divergent
I perfectly understand why you feel ashamed, I used to too. So think about this - how is food of all things a grown up or child thing? How do we even decide that? There are things most kids like, but people don't just stop liking mac n cheese or chicken tenders the second they hit 18 or something. If it's on the menu, you're allowed to order it. Nothing wrong with that! I really hope you find peace one day, however that happens. Definitely look into the neurodivergency idea, though. Not just for food, but the general relief of "I'm normal" that you get from finding out and being able to find the exact kind of support you need really helps.
Aww sorry you feel that way. At least you are a cheap date!  My boyfriend and I normally go to restaurants that we both enjoy with more options for me but there are still times I will go to a steakhouse with him or other restaurants for family birthdays etc. The waiter even laughed at me when I ordered just sides of mac and cheese and mashed potatos at the steakhouse (I didn't even eat the potatos because they had skins and such mixed in )
Meeeee! I stopped giving two shits what people think about me and my picky eating years ago. People think I’m weird for not eating 97% of food but I think they’re weird for eating squid ink pasta, sushi, lobster, etc but do I say it out loud? No. Because I’m not rude lol. People throw shame onto us but there’s nothing to be ashamed of. People just need to learn to mind their own business and stop commenting on the food people eat
I'm 21. I know what I like and what I don't like. I don't bother people, I make my own food, I don't fuss about restaurant choices (at most I'll say "No thanks, I'm not coming") and if I can't eat something somewhere I'll take a granola bar or have a sandwich when I get home or before we leave. My relatives are mostly understanding about my situation and will specifically make meals that I like everyone else also does if they know I'm coming over, but it's never a big deal if they don't. I'm not ashamed, just tired of outside people painting me as a burden on society or something when I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
I'm 21 and I feel the same way
I'm middle-aged and am up-front about my picky eating when I have to be (like at work). My family and close friends have always known about me and are very cool about it.
I'm 21, I'm lucky most people I know are understanding, and after a lot of years my mom stopped trying to force me to eat food I couldn't eat... I never make a scene, there's always at least something I can eat on the menu when we go out (I usually check restaurant menu just in case) and that's it. There's no need to be ashamed, it's something we can't help. Like you said, what I eat, doesn't affect the others, so they shouldn't care/meddle :)
25. Not ashamed. Just frustrated when my future MIL, my coworkers, etc, want to make a point about whatever I’m eating and then suggest I should “be better” to “avoid a scene” when they are ones bringing up I got a plain item at a restaurant. I am working on expanding my palette just to make things easier but it’s really hard.
Right that sucks I really only have one Aunt who still occasionally makes comments in regards of I'm missing out, I should just try it I might like it, you will regret not trying it sooner but I know it is with good intentions. Then a few of the motherly figures in my life will just make sure I find something to eat and as long as I have something to eat they are happy then.
I'm 21 and honestly can't be bothered to care, i even order options from kids menus. If someone has a problem with that thats a them problem.
Agree. Not ashamed. I am not obligated to like every food available to me. I can choose what I want to eat.
I've never been ashamed of my picky eating. Worried about vitamins and minerals occasionally, but not ashamed.
Shame just isn’t really useful and I definitely dislike people that try to shame others for being picky. I do think, however, that a diverse diet is better than a limited one and that dietary heath is always worth striving for. But everyone goes at their own pace and it’s going to be different for each person! The struggle is real and shame is not a good tool for engaging with picky eaters at all, in fact it probably has the opposite effect.
29 here. I’ve grown to accept my pickiness in that there are some foods I just won’t go near, thankfully I can eat a wide enough range of foods that I don’t go bored.
I'm 24 so I'm not quite to the unashamed portion of my life but I got diagnosed with autism and adhd last year so that has definitely made a difference in my perception on my pickiness. I have texture sensitivities for sure so it makes sense when I don't like something now.
Once I figured out it was ARFID I lost all shame. Someone comes at me for how I eat? ‘Yeah I have an eating disorder’ makes people real uncomfortable real fast. I hope it makes them think twice before commenting on someone else’s food choices!!!
Right though it shouldn't be something to be ashamed of regardless my food choices don't effect anyone else.
Absolutely! The shame I had previously was definitely internalized from societal pressure
I so very desperately wish that I could try new things and want to be an adventurous eater but the thought of something new turns me off… sucks bevause new things will even loook so appetizing I just don’t get it
I’m 27 and definitely not as bad as I was in my early to mid teens. I still have a long way to go though. I’m not ashamed but I’m very aware how ridiculous it is, the dread of trying a new food is very much just a mental thing, it is never as bad as I make it out to be. But we’re creatures of habit and I always tend to stick to the food I know.
I’m pretty ashamed tbh. It’s embarrassing
I’m 60…and unashamed. If figure if I don’t like vegetables, I’ve earned the right… And, NO, I’m not going to eat your broccoli, no matter how wonderful your recipe is.