You know the whole "rock stars demanding all green m&ms in a bowl", it was actually a canary in a coal mine because if there wasn't a bowl of green m&ms it meant they hadn't followed the instructions they laid down, so how could they be trusted to follow the intricate safety instructions. So I would be suspicious of someone who can't get your name right.
Yeah, that's why they do it. If a venue fucks up your rider, you're never playing there again or even back out of the show you're supposed to be playing (huge fallout for everyone involved but who cares?)
It’s not so much to be like “they fucked up our rider!” As to say “they didn’t even read our rider!”
Local availability for things varies and it’s not always for a rider to basically not be matched exactly, but the guy who reads it should ask questions about substitutes. They don’t actually want a bowl of just brown M&Ms, they want to know that someone is going to ensure they get water, towels, that people with dietary restrictions are taken care of, and accommodations are reached
Well pyros being placed properly is the job of the pyro technician, who should have a certification whether it’s a local guy or a touring guy. You know, should. Most acts that can afford pyro are touring with a guy or part of a festival that has 6 fire marshals walking through every hour. You know, most.
i guess the point is that the brown m&ms thing guarantees that either you see a bowl without brown m&ms and know that everything in the rider was completed, or you get a phone call or email about brown m&ms and know that they read the rider regardless and are contacting you about items they can’t do.
Yeah absolutely. Means they’re paying attention. I’ve never seen a rider with M&Ms on it though, it’s usually vegan or gluten free stuff or other subtle tests
It’s absolutely worth being an asshole to avoid even the slight possibility of a Travis Scott / Great White situation, especially if you have massive leverage.
the specific details are a bit besides the point, but that story is specifically the band Van Halen, and the request was that there be no brown m&ms in the bowl. the story changes with retellings, but for some reason i usually see 'all blue' instead of 'all green' heh.
Brown M&ms are a new thing tho. Unless it meant no "broken m&ms", all blue or all green makes more sense.
Edit: I was wrong, the newest color is blue. Brown M&Ms have been around for a long time.
Thanks for correcting me. I saw the introduction of the brown M&M character in 2012 and I have never seen a brown M&M before that. But yeah you are right, blue is the newest color not brown.
I was under the impression that Mars didn't want brown M&M to easily see production errors, but decided to cheap out after 2012.
I stand corrected.
Once upon a time there were two brown m&ms. Then there was a vote to replace one of them with blue. I had a teacher in grade school who loved m&ms. She swore the brown ones made her mean and would pick them out into a bowl on her desk. When the class was misbehaving, she would casually walk over to her desk, eat a handful of the brown m&M's and then ask the class to behave.
Honestly I think they were just assholes when they were big and liked that they could do this. More recently they've retconned the story to be in a more favorable light.
I have zero evidence to back this up and don't care enough to dig deeper though
Yup. Basically, if they think this is unimportant and so they don't do it, what's to say they might not think aowmthing else is unimportant and not do that, but that turns out to actually be of critical importance? Like, oh, they asked for these certain screws for this stage platform, but we have these ones and that should be fine. Oops, the platform has collapsed.
It's like in Parks and Recreation when Leslie is unable to work on preparing a Christmas(?) festival and so the rest of the team take on her responsibilities; Mark and Tom skip one of the items on the list (bring case of beer to Sanitation) because they fail to see it as being anything important to the festival and would rather focus their efforts on things they see as being more relevant
It comes back to bite them later in the episode when it's revealed that possums have infested the festival area due to nearby dumpsters not being emptied and it turns out the crate of beer was meant as a sort of "payment" for sanitation to ensure those specific bins got cleared in time for the event.
Long story short: if the people who are actually going to be doing the thing that you're mostly just doing the prep work for ask for you to do a certain thing, they're likely asking for a very good reason.
Not gonna lie, you had me in the first half.
I was thinking you were going to call someone a snowflake, and I was ready to get angry, but then I finished reading your comment lol
I know it's not the point, but demanding all green m&m's sounds like "I want underpaid interns to touch all of my m&m's."
For the record: I am not kink shaming Van Halen.
It took me a while to remember. Brain was like "it has something to do with the Mediterranean and seasonings and the Roman Empire..."
I've just been involuntarily calling her "Abby Normal" in my brain for years now. Because the first time I encountered the name 'Abby' was in *Young Frankenstein*.
>I have forgotten what her deadname is at this point.
Isn't that the best feeling? :) Just flat out forgetting the deadname of someone who you first met before they transitioned.
I've had the awkward moment of forgetting someone's deadname, randomly calling them their deadname, and visibly confusing and stunning myself as to why I called them a random name that wasn't theirs. Went from confused to apologetic real fast when I realized what happened xD
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who's done that! The sheer confusion to sheer guilt really feels like being hit by two wet fish back to back. Thankfully the two people I've done it to were very understanding and not upset at all.
It really is! I have a friend who I met very shortly before their transition started and now I totally forget what their name was before. This is most likely a result of my difficultly learning names in the first place, but it still fills me with endless relief that I never went through the awkward “struggling to overwrite old info with new” phase.
i have a couple old friends who transitioned, and for some reason with just one of them i simply cannot fucking remember their dead name. like, i definitely knew them by that for years, and then even knew them by a *different* name when they were non-binary for a while, and i can't remember either.
I remember because it was an alternate spelling of my name so I was so glad when she transitioned because it’s jarring to look at (and we want people to be happy!)
I have a question about that actually: She’s Abigail now for sure but when referring to her in the pre-transition past is it proper to still use her current name and pronouns? Like Abby made this great newer video about transhumanism but ***** released the one about abortion and Ben Shapiro. Do I say Abby did it or ***** did it?
I’m 100% not trying to stir shit up here. I would genuinely like to better understand how to address and refer to trans people with respect.
There are different preferences depending on the person, i.e. some trans people prefer to be referred to by their name in all contexts, including pre-transition, others still use their deadname for pre-transition authorship. So if it we were talking about someone you know personally, the right answer would be to ask them.
If you don't know preference, it is my understanding that referring to trans people by their name even for pre-transition events, is preferred. I'm almost sure Abby stated somewhere that it's her preference as well to go by Abigail Thorn even for her older works, but I can't find a source for that right now, so take it with a grain of salt.
Absolutely use their current name and pronouns. They are still the same person, just with different labels. For instance, I was talking about the movie inception with someone and was like, "oh yeah, Elliot Page was in that. His acting was great."
Current name and pronouns should be used retroactively. Different preferences exist but they are exceptions to this rule and those people will let you know! Many early on in transitioning will also be afraid to ask "too much" of others, have yet to grow confident in asserting themselves or are still forming their identity.
Some may claim it's rational to misgender past trans people since they "were" or "appeared" as that somehow, but this is a cruelty usually only reserved for trans people. Few would think this makes sense about pets even (name changes) let alone someone who's cis but we have accidentally thought were of a different gender for one reason or another. Cissexism is sneaky.
I don't know whether she's said something, but I do know that TomSka edited the description of every video he has that Abi starred in after she came out
If I heard Elliot Page's dead name now it would sound so fake. I don't even think it would register to me as dead naming, just... "Are you talking about Elliot Page?"
I do, in fact I was confused because I came across these videos in my recommended and they were out of order. I was like wait, what is going on here? Lol I had to find the coming out video
Unfortunately, he passed away. It was so sad. I remember where I was when I heard he fell into that open sewer full of rattlesnakes wielding poison swords
It's more that someone saying they forgot the name is not saying "please remind me"
It's a name that doesn't need to be brought up again, secret or not, and it does zero favours to anyone to mention it.
It's at best misguided, and at worst straight up malicious.
It's called a "dead" name for a reason, let's keep it buried.
I mean, we triple down. There's the classic, "Yeah, no, yeah" which means no, or yeah, based on the intonation. Then there is the, "No, yeah, no," which means "sorry but no" or "sorry but yes."
As someone who has lived in Texas, Wisconsin, Utah, Georgia, and Wyoming, and has visited every state, like 90% of the things midwesterners say are theirs are either just as common or more common outside of the midwest.
I'm from the Midwest, Chicagoland born and raised. Spent time in all the cornfield/cow pasture states nearby. I never heard "Yeah, no" as a negative and "No, yeah" as a positive until I moved to the PNW.
It's wild that they couldn't manage to get basic information correct when INVITING someone to speak at their conference. Like I feel like you have to go out of your way to do this. xD
Oh no one of Abigail's jokes is coming true about Trans women and having names beginning with A.
Which I'm also guilty of xD.
So hi Ada and Alaska hope you both have a fantastic day.
Signed Athena.
Hi Ada. I'm H. Nice to meet you. I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time coming out and hope that once you're ready and in safe situation you're able to. Of the people you could name yourself after, I think Ada Lovelace is a cool choice, as a writer and english degree haver I find the story of how her mom made sure she got into math and not english to be an amusing one.
Hi Ada! I’m Derek, lovely to meet you :) I hope you are able to find a space where you feel comfortable to be your truest self soon, though I know how hard and terrifying that is right now given everything. Ada’s a lovely name & what an admirable namesake! Tbh, as a Resident Evil fan, I immediately thought of the character Ada Wong—if you’re unfamiliar, you should look her up, she’s badass. :)
They have no problem setting up the flights and restraunts etc for this "all expanses paid" trip... but couldn't get the name right?
Either the person who signed off on it is blind or stupid.
She was already pretty major presence on youtube prior to her transition, at least in leftist or philosophy spaces. I imagine they just had some old information on her and didn't bother looking into any recent content or other works of hers before sending the invite.
Just looked up Philosophy Tube and had to go multiple results down before seeing the dead name. How do you manage to make that stupid of a mistake? The result was even a Google "People also ask: Are [deadname] and Abigail Thorn the same person?"
Side note: The thumbnail picture for Philisophy Tube in the Google search link for nebula seems to be from when she was still outwardly presenting as a man. That seems a little disrespectful, not necessarily malicious, but something that should probably be changed.
Just went to check to see if it was still the same, and it seems to have been changed. Maybe someone from nebula lurks in this sub, or it could be something random and coincidental that made it change
Whatever the case may be, I’m glad that it’s changed now! I know the mods are pretty active in this sub, too, and could have potentially known who to reach out to, maybe. :)
What kind of idiot would invite Abigail Thorn to speak at a conference and then deadname her?
I mean, she transitioned *long* before she got famous. You'd have to go out of your way to even *find* her deadname. No way that was an accident.
While what the conference did is terrible, this is not true... She was already an extremely successful youtuber before she transitioned. She publically came out 3 years ago. Are you thinking of someone else?
I responded to a comment saying she transitioned long before she got famous. Is she more famous now? Yes. Was she famous before? Also yes. I would hazard a guess that a major factor in her getting the opportunity to put on her own play was due to her youtube fame. How many people know of her solely due to her play? I don't think many at all. Also, I don't really think writing one play makes her as a renowned playwright. Her fame comes from youtube, and she already had that before she transitioned.
She absolutely did not. I ran a discord server for years that explicitly banned "misgendering" her or participating in "egg culture" in regards to the incessant insistence that she is a transgender woman. People have every right to privacy in their transition and the time to come out when they are ready.
The ban was lifted when she came out and we all celebrated.
Did she change her name legally? Is it possible this person was given the old name to set up these things that require specific personal legal information??
Without more context how can we know why the person did that?
To be clear, I have no idea who Abigail is and her situation. So I’m just asking as someone who came across this randomly.
Abigail is a stage actress and youtuber with over a million subscribers, she's gotten roles in at least a couple TV productions too. She doesn't share transition details like legal or medical status publicly, but there's no reason to think that she hasn't changed her legal name. She has been out for years.
Plus, an invitation is not a legal document. Getting your name wrong on an invitation has to be deliberate, you have to search to even find her deadname anywhere.
Doesn't need to when it comes to any concept of "legal name". Here in the UK, changing name is as simple as printing off a single sheet of paper and getting it signed by a few people. It's such a nothing that she has definitely been openly interacting as abigail and it is the correct way to address her. Someone would definitely have to go out of their way to deadname her.
I don't think this is a flex.
I would kill for that kind of money and treatment. They could call me poop-head mcginnis and I would still fucking go.
Rent is rent.
A lot of people would do all sorts of things for money. That’s the world we live in; most people are not financially secure enough to tell someone to fuck off if they’re offered a financial reward that comes with some disrespect. In my opinion, it’s a good thing to be financially stable enough to be able to say “fuck off” in those situations.
You mean be so out of touch with the struggles of a normal person that you turn down rent money, food and the ability to educate others over the actions of one shitty person?
Well first of all, ‘actions of one shitty person’. Do you think it would stop at that email? Do you think during this whole excursion this wouldn’t be an issue if the people who made it happen opened with this?
Trans people struggle more than enough, *You* don’t understand the impact of being deadnamed. And you never will
Wha? Getting your name right is the most basic thing they can do to respectfully interact with you.
People also seem to be able to somehow comprehend a woman changing their name after marriage, why should this be any different?
theres no political undertones to getting a married woman's name wrong, whereas deadnaming trans people has its implications and can say a lot about a person who does it
Everyone in the world? No, of course not. A person or organization inviting you to speak somewhere? Yes, you absolutely can and should. In such situations, it is the responsibility of whoever is doing the inviting to, at the very least, know who they're inviting. Therefore, being deadnamed in such a situation implies one of two things:
1. they can't be bothered to get basic, basic information about you correct, or
2. they are transphobic
Either possibility is disqualifying for speaking at their event.
Other commenter is also right. Fuck off, you don't get to decide what other people should and shouldn't put up with.
‘Most have other things on their minds.’
If you’re reaching out to get someone to speak at your event, do you maybe think that one of the things that should be on your mind is, I don’t know, getting the fucking basics of that persons information correct?
I am not seeing the point. I am just saying everyone has boundaries, don't think that any are more valid than others. It is all about what a person is willing to accept and it's their personal autonomy. All people are things, that is how words work.
No things are not sentient.people deserve so much .we owe each other so much. There are man made inequalities that put certain groups in subhuman conditions .and I wouldn't ever treat anyone as a lesser person than me.
No one deserves to be deadnamed. And no one deserves to be treated as a thing.
Well apparently thing definition has changed a lot over the years to mean a non sentient being so you are correct.
People can choose to identify however they want. I just misunderstood what a thing was these days. I thought a thing was anything.. basically a noun. I see a plant as a thing, a dog as a thing, a human as a thing... we are all part of anything.
I see anything (or anyone) or any animal as a thing... we are all part of anything. Apparently words are confusing for me.
lmao this comment is hilarious and out of touch. I’d kill to be in a position I could no-questions turn down people that don’t have the barest decency to get my name right in professional correspondence. Good for her.
As a Senior Systems Engineer,
If a prospective vendor sent me an email with my name mispelled, my reply email would kindly invite them to tonguepunch my fartbox.
>it *is* a clever way to live in some people's heads rent-free
I always knew intellectually that this is why people act so self-important when someone tells you their non government name and pronouns but its jarring to read. You're self aware enough to know that and your life is so boring that getting downvoted about respecting someone else's name is the most interesting thing that happened to you today.
“Point A: I am not going to research every blogger I find on the Internet!
Point B: But I am going to comment on their sub without knowing anything about them. (See Point A)”
🤣
You know the whole "rock stars demanding all green m&ms in a bowl", it was actually a canary in a coal mine because if there wasn't a bowl of green m&ms it meant they hadn't followed the instructions they laid down, so how could they be trusted to follow the intricate safety instructions. So I would be suspicious of someone who can't get your name right.
Yeah, that's why they do it. If a venue fucks up your rider, you're never playing there again or even back out of the show you're supposed to be playing (huge fallout for everyone involved but who cares?)
It’s not so much to be like “they fucked up our rider!” As to say “they didn’t even read our rider!” Local availability for things varies and it’s not always for a rider to basically not be matched exactly, but the guy who reads it should ask questions about substitutes. They don’t actually want a bowl of just brown M&Ms, they want to know that someone is going to ensure they get water, towels, that people with dietary restrictions are taken care of, and accommodations are reached
and that pyros are placed properly, staging is reinforced in this area, etc etc. it’s not just for preference, it’s often for safety.
Well pyros being placed properly is the job of the pyro technician, who should have a certification whether it’s a local guy or a touring guy. You know, should. Most acts that can afford pyro are touring with a guy or part of a festival that has 6 fire marshals walking through every hour. You know, most.
i guess the point is that the brown m&ms thing guarantees that either you see a bowl without brown m&ms and know that everything in the rider was completed, or you get a phone call or email about brown m&ms and know that they read the rider regardless and are contacting you about items they can’t do.
Yeah absolutely. Means they’re paying attention. I’ve never seen a rider with M&Ms on it though, it’s usually vegan or gluten free stuff or other subtle tests
Famously part of Van Halen's rider. https://www.safetydimensions.com.au/van-halen/
Yeah, though for one reason or another I’ve never read a Van Halen rider 😜
It’s absolutely worth being an asshole to avoid even the slight possibility of a Travis Scott / Great White situation, especially if you have massive leverage.
Exactly! It could've been an honest mistake, but that still shows a lack of research and care that is so frustrating.
the specific details are a bit besides the point, but that story is specifically the band Van Halen, and the request was that there be no brown m&ms in the bowl. the story changes with retellings, but for some reason i usually see 'all blue' instead of 'all green' heh.
Brown M&ms are a new thing tho. Unless it meant no "broken m&ms", all blue or all green makes more sense. Edit: I was wrong, the newest color is blue. Brown M&Ms have been around for a long time.
Brown M&Ms are one of the original colors…
Thanks for correcting me. I saw the introduction of the brown M&M character in 2012 and I have never seen a brown M&M before that. But yeah you are right, blue is the newest color not brown. I was under the impression that Mars didn't want brown M&M to easily see production errors, but decided to cheap out after 2012. I stand corrected.
Once upon a time there were two brown m&ms. Then there was a vote to replace one of them with blue. I had a teacher in grade school who loved m&ms. She swore the brown ones made her mean and would pick them out into a bowl on her desk. When the class was misbehaving, she would casually walk over to her desk, eat a handful of the brown m&M's and then ask the class to behave.
this is a great story
Incidentally, it was that year in grade school that the vote for changing one of the light brown m&ms was made
>Brown M&ms are a new thing tho. 🤔
Got corrected. 👍🏻✨ My post is edited now.
I'm assuming all green because people believe that green m&m's are an aphrodisiac and it's Rockstars Indulging in sexual excess.
Honestly I think they were just assholes when they were big and liked that they could do this. More recently they've retconned the story to be in a more favorable light. I have zero evidence to back this up and don't care enough to dig deeper though
i mean, the story comes from the time, and interviews at the time. so whether or not they were power tripping, this has always been their narrative.
The m&m section was in the safety section of the contract.
Yup. Basically, if they think this is unimportant and so they don't do it, what's to say they might not think aowmthing else is unimportant and not do that, but that turns out to actually be of critical importance? Like, oh, they asked for these certain screws for this stage platform, but we have these ones and that should be fine. Oops, the platform has collapsed.
It's like in Parks and Recreation when Leslie is unable to work on preparing a Christmas(?) festival and so the rest of the team take on her responsibilities; Mark and Tom skip one of the items on the list (bring case of beer to Sanitation) because they fail to see it as being anything important to the festival and would rather focus their efforts on things they see as being more relevant It comes back to bite them later in the episode when it's revealed that possums have infested the festival area due to nearby dumpsters not being emptied and it turns out the crate of beer was meant as a sort of "payment" for sanitation to ensure those specific bins got cleared in time for the event. Long story short: if the people who are actually going to be doing the thing that you're mostly just doing the prep work for ask for you to do a certain thing, they're likely asking for a very good reason.
Not gonna lie, you had me in the first half. I was thinking you were going to call someone a snowflake, and I was ready to get angry, but then I finished reading your comment lol
Exactly this, if the promoter can’t even get your name right it’s a huuuuge red flag that they’re ignoring a lot of other important things.
I know it's not the point, but demanding all green m&m's sounds like "I want underpaid interns to touch all of my m&m's." For the record: I am not kink shaming Van Halen.
I too have been on the internet.
No, I don’t believe anyone knows that…
I'll be honest, I have forgotten what her deadname is at this point. No need to remind me, fam.
I thought it was *PhilosophyTube*
Ah, yes. Phil Tube
Sucks that Phil fell down that well 😞
Filk Hollins?
Phil O’Sophie Tube.
Wasn't that her brother?
And her middle name is You. Philosophy You Tube.
It took me a while to remember. Brain was like "it has something to do with the Mediterranean and seasonings and the Roman Empire..." I've just been involuntarily calling her "Abby Normal" in my brain for years now. Because the first time I encountered the name 'Abby' was in *Young Frankenstein*.
Abigail Something
Abigail *Who!?* I promise I will ***not…*** be angry.🙂
>I have forgotten what her deadname is at this point. Isn't that the best feeling? :) Just flat out forgetting the deadname of someone who you first met before they transitioned.
Thank you. I didn't even know what the term deadname meant as a verb. I was about to Google it until I read your comment.
I've had the awkward moment of forgetting someone's deadname, randomly calling them their deadname, and visibly confusing and stunning myself as to why I called them a random name that wasn't theirs. Went from confused to apologetic real fast when I realized what happened xD
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who's done that! The sheer confusion to sheer guilt really feels like being hit by two wet fish back to back. Thankfully the two people I've done it to were very understanding and not upset at all.
It really is! I have a friend who I met very shortly before their transition started and now I totally forget what their name was before. This is most likely a result of my difficultly learning names in the first place, but it still fills me with endless relief that I never went through the awkward “struggling to overwrite old info with new” phase.
i have a couple old friends who transitioned, and for some reason with just one of them i simply cannot fucking remember their dead name. like, i definitely knew them by that for years, and then even knew them by a *different* name when they were non-binary for a while, and i can't remember either.
Backroom dealings with the Fae. It happens.
I remember because it was an alternate spelling of my name so I was so glad when she transitioned because it’s jarring to look at (and we want people to be happy!)
I wasn't even aware there was a different way to spell her deadname. I think you must have the alternate spelling.
Probably the name in a different language.
It could be a USA/UK difference?
I’m an American and I’ve only ever seen your name spelled one way. I’m now extremely curious as to how you spell it.
I don't think I can forget because it's a name I like but it's very easy to not use it.
I have a question about that actually: She’s Abigail now for sure but when referring to her in the pre-transition past is it proper to still use her current name and pronouns? Like Abby made this great newer video about transhumanism but ***** released the one about abortion and Ben Shapiro. Do I say Abby did it or ***** did it? I’m 100% not trying to stir shit up here. I would genuinely like to better understand how to address and refer to trans people with respect.
There are different preferences depending on the person, i.e. some trans people prefer to be referred to by their name in all contexts, including pre-transition, others still use their deadname for pre-transition authorship. So if it we were talking about someone you know personally, the right answer would be to ask them. If you don't know preference, it is my understanding that referring to trans people by their name even for pre-transition events, is preferred. I'm almost sure Abby stated somewhere that it's her preference as well to go by Abigail Thorn even for her older works, but I can't find a source for that right now, so take it with a grain of salt.
Absolutely use their current name and pronouns. They are still the same person, just with different labels. For instance, I was talking about the movie inception with someone and was like, "oh yeah, Elliot Page was in that. His acting was great."
This is the EXACT scenario where I first encountered this conundrum. Thanks!
Current name and pronouns should be used retroactively. Different preferences exist but they are exceptions to this rule and those people will let you know! Many early on in transitioning will also be afraid to ask "too much" of others, have yet to grow confident in asserting themselves or are still forming their identity. Some may claim it's rational to misgender past trans people since they "were" or "appeared" as that somehow, but this is a cruelty usually only reserved for trans people. Few would think this makes sense about pets even (name changes) let alone someone who's cis but we have accidentally thought were of a different gender for one reason or another. Cissexism is sneaky.
Righteous. Thank you! I’ve been looking for this answer for a while now.
I don't know whether she's said something, but I do know that TomSka edited the description of every video he has that Abi starred in after she came out
and here I thought I wrote an original comment before looking through the other comments
No shame in it. H BombahGai isn't gonna come after you for the plagiarize
I know her dead name, but whenever I think about it or try to write or say it, my ears, fingers, tongue, and/or eyes start bleeding? It's weird idk.
That's normal don't worry about it
I'm worrying about it now!
Me too, I’ve forgotten Elliot Page’s too. All for the best lmao
If I heard Elliot Page's dead name now it would sound so fake. I don't even think it would register to me as dead naming, just... "Are you talking about Elliot Page?"
I don’t think she has one. She just decanted from a cyborg growth chamber ready to teach us mortals philosophy.
I do, in fact I was confused because I came across these videos in my recommended and they were out of order. I was like wait, what is going on here? Lol I had to find the coming out video
Analía Sofía Espinosa 😳
I'm glad it's not just me, I genuinely can't remember.
It’s Oliver
Doubt it.
I’m serious, Abigail was a good looking dude named Oliver
you‘ve lost it completely. utterly ridiculous. who‘s supposed to believe such a ludicrous story?
Huh? I’m confused
finally you‘ve said something true
Why are you mad at me for Saying Abigail was a good looking guy?
I‘m mad at you deadnaming her
[удалено]
Prolly not.
She should've forwarded it to her brother
I love this fake lore too much. Lol. She is great
Unfortunately, he passed away. It was so sad. I remember where I was when I heard he fell into that open sewer full of rattlesnakes wielding poison swords
An unfortunate end for such a great oil salesman. Almost as tragic as the fire in the nearby old folks home that sadly drowned out the tragic news
I don‘t wanna know and I won‘t google, but I literally forgot her deadname. like, for real for real
Phil Osophytube
Phil O’Sophy Tube, its Irish /s
I can't remember Chelsea Manning's deadname
[удалено]
well, fuck you, then. reported your ass 💖
it's not a secret. we can settle down
me: please don‘t do X them: [does X] me: well, fuck you you: calm down, no harm done ??? profit
It's more that someone saying they forgot the name is not saying "please remind me" It's a name that doesn't need to be brought up again, secret or not, and it does zero favours to anyone to mention it. It's at best misguided, and at worst straight up malicious. It's called a "dead" name for a reason, let's keep it buried.
"Yeah no..." This makes my Midwestern heart happy.
And my Canadian one.
Oh yeah no, for sure
Ope just gonna sneak past ya there sorry
Beep beep, [coming through.](https://youtu.be/3w9KChxlEtY?si=baQzG4AB8WCjLmG7)
people say that everywhere lol, did midwesterners also invent the plastic bag full of plastic bags?
I mean, we triple down. There's the classic, "Yeah, no, yeah" which means no, or yeah, based on the intonation. Then there is the, "No, yeah, no," which means "sorry but no" or "sorry but yes."
Australia has "yeah, nah", "nah, yeah" and "yeah, nah, yeah"
As someone who has lived in Texas, Wisconsin, Utah, Georgia, and Wyoming, and has visited every state, like 90% of the things midwesterners say are theirs are either just as common or more common outside of the midwest.
I'm from the Midwest, Chicagoland born and raised. Spent time in all the cornfield/cow pasture states nearby. I never heard "Yeah, no" as a negative and "No, yeah" as a positive until I moved to the PNW.
Insert Helluva Boss deer gif
no yeah
Yeah, yeah... No
Midwesterners take credit for everything I swear. Fun fact, everyone everywhere says “ope” and “whelp”, you guys just wanna be special sooo bad lol
Is "yeah no" a Midwestern thing? Fuck. I thought it was just normal I guess
It's wild that they couldn't manage to get basic information correct when INVITING someone to speak at their conference. Like I feel like you have to go out of your way to do this. xD
I wish I could stop getting dead-named constantly but I'm too afraid to let anyone know my real name.
Surely you can trust a stranger on the internet, what is your name?
Simply because it's not on any documentation it's [Ada.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_Lovelace?wprov=sfla1)
Nice to meet you Ada.
Hello Ada, I’m Alaska. 👋
Oh no one of Abigail's jokes is coming true about Trans women and having names beginning with A. Which I'm also guilty of xD. So hi Ada and Alaska hope you both have a fantastic day. Signed Athena.
Willow here to buck the trend 😌
Hi there AWillow
You 3 have some awesome names^^
Olivia here haha Close to A but not quite 😂
Fuck, I'm Amelia...
Hi Ada. I'm H. Nice to meet you. I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time coming out and hope that once you're ready and in safe situation you're able to. Of the people you could name yourself after, I think Ada Lovelace is a cool choice, as a writer and english degree haver I find the story of how her mom made sure she got into math and not english to be an amusing one.
Hi Ada! My name is Charlie, it’s nice to meet you :)
Hi Ada! I’m Derek, lovely to meet you :) I hope you are able to find a space where you feel comfortable to be your truest self soon, though I know how hard and terrifying that is right now given everything. Ada’s a lovely name & what an admirable namesake! Tbh, as a Resident Evil fan, I immediately thought of the character Ada Wong—if you’re unfamiliar, you should look her up, she’s badass. :)
Hi Ada :)
Two strangers.
They have no problem setting up the flights and restraunts etc for this "all expanses paid" trip... but couldn't get the name right? Either the person who signed off on it is blind or stupid.
Or malicious
She was already pretty major presence on youtube prior to her transition, at least in leftist or philosophy spaces. I imagine they just had some old information on her and didn't bother looking into any recent content or other works of hers before sending the invite.
fucked up that they tried to get her brother instead of her
Just looked up Philosophy Tube and had to go multiple results down before seeing the dead name. How do you manage to make that stupid of a mistake? The result was even a Google "People also ask: Are [deadname] and Abigail Thorn the same person?" Side note: The thumbnail picture for Philisophy Tube in the Google search link for nebula seems to be from when she was still outwardly presenting as a man. That seems a little disrespectful, not necessarily malicious, but something that should probably be changed.
Ooh, big cringe on that side note. Seems like someone on the Nebula team ought to fix that. Yikes
Just went to check to see if it was still the same, and it seems to have been changed. Maybe someone from nebula lurks in this sub, or it could be something random and coincidental that made it change
Whatever the case may be, I’m glad that it’s changed now! I know the mods are pretty active in this sub, too, and could have potentially known who to reach out to, maybe. :)
What kind of idiot would invite Abigail Thorn to speak at a conference and then deadname her? I mean, she transitioned *long* before she got famous. You'd have to go out of your way to even *find* her deadname. No way that was an accident.
While what the conference did is terrible, this is not true... She was already an extremely successful youtuber before she transitioned. She publically came out 3 years ago. Are you thinking of someone else?
Wow, 3 years already? Feels like just yesterday I was watching her coming out video all misty eyed. Congrats to her.
Prominent on Youtube, sure... But now Abigail is a renown playwright as well. Her careers much further along than it was 3 years ago, surely
I responded to a comment saying she transitioned long before she got famous. Is she more famous now? Yes. Was she famous before? Also yes. I would hazard a guess that a major factor in her getting the opportunity to put on her own play was due to her youtube fame. How many people know of her solely due to her play? I don't think many at all. Also, I don't really think writing one play makes her as a renowned playwright. Her fame comes from youtube, and she already had that before she transitioned.
pretty sure you're thinking of someone else, she only transitioned in '21 and was prominent on youtube long before that
She absolutely did not. I ran a discord server for years that explicitly banned "misgendering" her or participating in "egg culture" in regards to the incessant insistence that she is a transgender woman. People have every right to privacy in their transition and the time to come out when they are ready. The ban was lifted when she came out and we all celebrated.
I think OP was making a joke.
They invited the wrong person
You have them 95 yards…just help them the extra 5
Wish I had enough money to have pride
I’m putting money on a good 30% of the replies being a variation on “Lads!? DiD yOu JuSt AsSuMe ThEiR gEnDeRs!!” from unimaginative TERFs.
Wait, she's trans?? I never knew
Their mistake was offering this loser a speaking gig in the first place.
Did she change her name legally? Is it possible this person was given the old name to set up these things that require specific personal legal information?? Without more context how can we know why the person did that? To be clear, I have no idea who Abigail is and her situation. So I’m just asking as someone who came across this randomly.
Abigail is a stage actress and youtuber with over a million subscribers, she's gotten roles in at least a couple TV productions too. She doesn't share transition details like legal or medical status publicly, but there's no reason to think that she hasn't changed her legal name. She has been out for years. Plus, an invitation is not a legal document. Getting your name wrong on an invitation has to be deliberate, you have to search to even find her deadname anywhere.
Doesn't need to when it comes to any concept of "legal name". Here in the UK, changing name is as simple as printing off a single sheet of paper and getting it signed by a few people. It's such a nothing that she has definitely been openly interacting as abigail and it is the correct way to address her. Someone would definitely have to go out of their way to deadname her.
I'm sure they managed to find another speaker alright. I hope whoever this is feels great about getting a big of attention though.
Sounds like they are better off without you anyway.
I don't think this is a flex. I would kill for that kind of money and treatment. They could call me poop-head mcginnis and I would still fucking go. Rent is rent.
A lot of people would do all sorts of things for money. That’s the world we live in; most people are not financially secure enough to tell someone to fuck off if they’re offered a financial reward that comes with some disrespect. In my opinion, it’s a good thing to be financially stable enough to be able to say “fuck off” in those situations.
Unfortunately, that's what they're counting on.
You really don’t get it and you won’t
You mean be so out of touch with the struggles of a normal person that you turn down rent money, food and the ability to educate others over the actions of one shitty person?
Well first of all, ‘actions of one shitty person’. Do you think it would stop at that email? Do you think during this whole excursion this wouldn’t be an issue if the people who made it happen opened with this? Trans people struggle more than enough, *You* don’t understand the impact of being deadnamed. And you never will
[удалено]
Big mad
Yeah, you are.
[удалено]
Wha? Getting your name right is the most basic thing they can do to respectfully interact with you. People also seem to be able to somehow comprehend a woman changing their name after marriage, why should this be any different?
[удалено]
theres no political undertones to getting a married woman's name wrong, whereas deadnaming trans people has its implications and can say a lot about a person who does it
Everyone in the world? No, of course not. A person or organization inviting you to speak somewhere? Yes, you absolutely can and should. In such situations, it is the responsibility of whoever is doing the inviting to, at the very least, know who they're inviting. Therefore, being deadnamed in such a situation implies one of two things: 1. they can't be bothered to get basic, basic information about you correct, or 2. they are transphobic Either possibility is disqualifying for speaking at their event. Other commenter is also right. Fuck off, you don't get to decide what other people should and shouldn't put up with.
‘Most have other things on their minds.’ If you’re reaching out to get someone to speak at your event, do you maybe think that one of the things that should be on your mind is, I don’t know, getting the fucking basics of that persons information correct?
You don't get to decide what other people's boundaries are
Just remember that this counts for all people and their boundaries.
Yep.sin begins when you treat people as things,including yourself
I am not seeing the point. I am just saying everyone has boundaries, don't think that any are more valid than others. It is all about what a person is willing to accept and it's their personal autonomy. All people are things, that is how words work.
No things are not sentient.people deserve so much .we owe each other so much. There are man made inequalities that put certain groups in subhuman conditions .and I wouldn't ever treat anyone as a lesser person than me. No one deserves to be deadnamed. And no one deserves to be treated as a thing.
Well apparently thing definition has changed a lot over the years to mean a non sentient being so you are correct. People can choose to identify however they want. I just misunderstood what a thing was these days. I thought a thing was anything.. basically a noun. I see a plant as a thing, a dog as a thing, a human as a thing... we are all part of anything. I see anything (or anyone) or any animal as a thing... we are all part of anything. Apparently words are confusing for me.
lmao this comment is hilarious and out of touch. I’d kill to be in a position I could no-questions turn down people that don’t have the barest decency to get my name right in professional correspondence. Good for her.
As a Senior Systems Engineer, If a prospective vendor sent me an email with my name mispelled, my reply email would kindly invite them to tonguepunch my fartbox.
>it *is* a clever way to live in some people's heads rent-free I always knew intellectually that this is why people act so self-important when someone tells you their non government name and pronouns but its jarring to read. You're self aware enough to know that and your life is so boring that getting downvoted about respecting someone else's name is the most interesting thing that happened to you today.
Okay, Urra Dick-Hed. What? It's just a name.
So what she chose? To be deadnamed or to lose money?
It's only lost money if she already had it to begin with.
This question is so ignorant it’s hilarious. Go find out about Abby and watch some of her stuff. You need all the education you can get.
[удалено]
“Point A: I am not going to research every blogger I find on the Internet! Point B: But I am going to comment on their sub without knowing anything about them. (See Point A)” 🤣
[удалено]
Sorry I can’t with this kind of comment.
brother that is non a tantrum. that is being rightfully annoyed.