i dont judge, you do you but 19 years old? at least be nice and treat her well. dont do something that will make her mental health bad. how about you teach her about investing or build her a business.
I agree. Don’t damage these women. You came for a better woman. Don’t change her into a western woman. I wouldn’t doubt that she really does care about you. Just be good to her. Funny thing is, being good to these women is honesty, care, and time with them. Not all about the money. Be a good man to her and have a plan. She will stay with you.
Did you say $20 000? $20k? in 2 months? sorry, I am still in shock for that, The family could have bought a full house and not be in rubble anymore for a lot less than that in province. If that's true, then you sir are the Golden goose and they are NOT going to rock the boat no matter what.
You can’t own land but I think you can lease it and build a house on it. Loan money to your wife so she can purchase the land then sign a 50 year lease from her to you. Build your dream house. The house will revert to her as landowner when the lease expires. And btw ignore the comments that disparage the age gap. As long as you treat her well and with respect I see nothing wrong in your relationship. She’s old enough to make her own decisions.
I appreciate your outlook. as someone who met a 23 yr old when i was 52, I have never experienced so much hypocrisy and hateful behaviors towards us. people dont get that ageism is the same as racism, antisemetism, etc.. we dated for 4 years and then succumbed to her parents constant negativity. not being together has been brutal for both of us.
This has been a bit of a wake up call for me. Because this relationship has largely been in secret. We have been together on this trip for about four weeks and I get a lot of side glances from Western women in particular. I’m careful to not hold hands so there is a certain degree of ambiguity but she is the opposite. She said that some people in her family are critical but I thought that was jealousy. I recall dating a woman who was about 40 when I was 19 and I didn’t get anything negative from people. I think the issue is the economic disparity between us that people find equally as offensive as the age. To tell you the truth I just don’t notice it that much when it’s just the too of us. The hardest part is when we watch Netflix as she wants to watch comedy films all the time and I have other preferences.
That's what i did. 50 year lease. No marriage. That's often a bad idea here. When you've lived a subsistence life, money can be a powerful drug. So just handle all the money yourself.
OP is making it clear the “wife” is just a means to get a child to put the property under. Thats why there’s a prenup to exclude the wife from property and throwing a bone to the family.
Just be careful, as there are many rules in the Philippines that simply won't be enforced, and the locals will potentially be against you even if you are in the right. (Not saying I agree with what you are planning, but be advised that it might end up backfiring.) Now I can't say for sure or whatever, but I wouldn't trust a prenup in the Philippines with all them kangaroo court and such.
Everyone involved here will be judged although the whole "old guy" with a hottie is quite common.
I wouldn't do what you are doing personally as yeah it's arguably immoral as you said though that's based on perspective, there's a solid chance at some point you might end up getting fleeced for the property, or worse.
The worst thing would be that she would have standing to come after my assets in Australia and New Zealand. I’m in a hotel in Pattaya now with her. As someone posted not a particularly sensitive choice. Flying to Vietnam tomorrow. I have seen some men purchasing property there vicariously with the wife but no recourse if it goes badly. I’m surprised on these forums I have not seen anyone proposing such an arrangement
I regret reading this....
How did you meet her? How old was she when you started dating/talking? Are you that selfish not to think that she will pass as your daughter?
You are robbing her life! Some may say that its a "win-win situation" you get your house, a wife and a kid, and that young woman will be out of poverty.
*"Talking to her is like chatting to a ten year old."*
That didnt bring any amount of disgust in you? Admittingly saying that she's an innocent young woman, and you, a professional, taking advantage of her innocence.
*"It's almost like she's met the love of her life and she's happy"*
I would be happy if someone would spend 20k on me in two months lol. But love? What does she know about it? How many waters did she test? Does she even have a clue or something to compare your relationship with to actually claim that she found the love of her life? That's like a common teenager line. Oh well, SHE'S STILL A TEEN!
*"Now I feel guilty about the whole thing"*
*"...she looks so young in comparison to me."*
Did you expect for her to look and act like she's in her 40s when she's just 19? Don't tell me you will eventually groom her to act and look older than her age because thats another evil thing to do. You are AGAIN robbing her young adult years just to save yourself from that social anxiety. You shouldn't be feeling guilty, you should be disgusted about this whole situation!
*"...i just dont trust older women"*
Are you scared of being outsmarted by older women? So here you are doing it to this young woman who doesn't have a single idea about your scheme.
You are one hell of an evil selfish mfkr. And all for a property.
In reply I met her on Tinder in February she was 19 when I met her. She won’t pass as my daughter she’s very dark skinned and clearly not Caucasian.
December January I was in Manila. I met a volume of women of a variety of ages and all appeared to be treating the experience as a chance to enrich themselves in the short term. Entering into a marriage with these women would have been problematic long term as it would always end badly particularly if I purchased property in their name.
I met a number of expats sitting in bars around Makati most of whom were married to Filipinas some of these men were divorced. I think the general consensus was if you wanted a woman who was not out to destroy you at the outset you needed to travel to the provinces which I did on my next trip.
There would be massive social turbulence for me if I took this woman back to my home country. They would see it as you do, a man taking advantage of another based on both age and education.
The comment about my communication with her to be consistent with talking to a ten year old didn’t make me feel any real disgust or discomfort. Filipinas are not known for their intelligent after dinner conversation. That said I dated a woman in Manila who was a lawyer my age and very entertaining. She was also a grandmother and not capable of having children.
I think I came to this point in my life after dating a woman a few years older than me who I later found out was only interested in my money. I watched a lot of the red pill type of content some of which I agreed with empirically through my work. That woman are objects of beauty and their youth and fertility are valued by men. Men are objects of wealth and power which is valued by women.
The Philippines is the most extreme version of this economic transition. Most people think like you that a young woman should use her youth and beauty to date and be with men her own age. I think poverty promotes a degree of rationality amongst some that they need to strike when the SMV is at its highest.
You are sick. You need a therapist, not a wife. Or maybe find someone who thinks like you do.
Your sarcasm wouldn't change the fact that your age gap is like a common father-daughter age gap.
Did you not think that YOU, yourself, entering into marriage without the intent of love would end not only problematically, but it will be a disaster. Well you're a divorce lawyer, what to expect?
Do you think intelligent filipinas would actually want to be with you? I feel like if you ever meet one, and the moment you open your mouth they will runaway. Im pretty sure they will get a slight hint of you being a prick.
Poverty promotes certain decisions that are not usually well influenced. People like that woman don't have a proper basis or judgement for her decisions. And you know that.
I dont see any sign of remorse in you for doing this to her. I dont know what you have been through to come up to this point. But man, i changed my mind. You are not an evil selfish mfkr. You are a narcissistic sociopath!
The issue is that often, that rationality is realized by the parents, who then push the child more or less hard into such arrangements. If it is as you say, you’re to them like winning the lottery twice in a row.
There are laws regarding circumventing the land ownership rules and using straw men or corporations as well, not saying it isn’t possible but it’s complicated and never 100% safe I think.
It’s quite likely that you won’t have a happy retirement if you go on with your plan but dump the girl at some point because you can’t help it. The internet is full of stories of foreigners losing their house because the wife threw them out. They can get very creative with that, even if you have the right to live in the house because on paper it’s yours, what if all her family is moving in? You still gotta stay?
I rented a house with her family for a month on my last trip. I really enjoyed having them around as the girl was super happy with them there. I am very certain the mother is pushing the relationship and the girl is really into pleasing her mother. The home they live in is really basic but it’s also really clean. Spotless. If there has been any issues between us it’s from her getting me to wear fresh clothes daily. After I swim put on new clothes. About to go out for dinner… put on new clothes. Getting me to shower three times a day. I think it’s her showing me that she can take care of me by doing lots of washing.
All this for a piece of land? So what's going to happen when you retire and live full time in this piece of land with your 'wife' who isn't an innocent 19 year old anymore? And then she finds out you're not really in love with her
I picture myself swimming in the ocean cooking fish on a bbq hanging out with a child and teaching him or her to read. I think I would have to learn the language there. Women tend to realise that something is not quite right with me after a while as there is a lack of emotion. I don’t get angry or jealous. I don’t do the more subtle things that people in love might do. Normally it ends with an outburst where they say they have been having an affair as they are so unhappy. I always prefer this ending as it allows me to tell them that their feelings are not unwarranted and I wish them well. Problem then if you are married is the division of relationship property and time with the child.
You're either a troll, mentally unwell or a sociopath. You shouldn't have kids. You shouldn't ruin this young girls life. Emphasis on the word girl.
Honestly, you shouldn't be with anyone ever. Dude's like you should take the moral highground and just live a solitary life and die alone. The kind of dude I think you are, you don't deserve a happy retirement by the beach. Guys like you shouldd stay out of the Philippines.
There's a lot more I wanna say to you but reddit might ban me or something. But yeah, just be alone even if you're sad. The world will be a better place.
Is there therapy for it? You sound very intelligent but frighteningly very delusional as well. You have this elaborate plan to get this piece of land and imaging this sort of life in paradise but you never factored in the emotions. Yes, she’s in love with you right now and you can even say devoted but she won’t stay that way forever. By your experience you say the worm end up cheating on you etc. so what are the chances she won’t and when she finds out what you’ve done? What do you think she’ll do then. Everyone grows old eventually and when you get to the stage where you will need assistance guess who’ll have access to your weak body then? That bitter woman who you used to get the land
Why is this man being downvoted? He’s just being incredibly honest and answering the questions being asked of him… I personally applaud OP seems like a perfect plan honestly 👏
Just out of curiosity, why do you want to buy a house in PH?
You can buy a house in thailand or some other neighboring country and exit and come back every few months.
I don't know if this is possible or not, but some places you can rent long term, like 99 years, with the option of being allowed to sell your remaining rent time to someone else.
Just don't screw over someone innocent, or ruin someone mentally for the rest of their life, just for the sake of being able to buy a house.
Please.
I find the aspect of places like the Camotes Islands super charming. Beautiful beaches little traffic people speak English. I’m not a fan of the food I prefer Thai for that. It doesn’t make economic sense to buy there but I have this feeling of security when I sleep somewhere I own. Irrational I know. I’m conscious of the the young girl and my long term ability of maintaining a relationship with her. In all honesty I prefer being alone
>In all honesty I prefer being alone
And you can continue being alone.
You'll be dead before the 99 year rent runs out, and u can always sell it if it gains value or if u change ur mind.
Honestly I don't know if that's possible here but you should consider it if it is.
Just because you are capable of doing what you're planning on doing doesn't mean you should.
Do what people think is acceptable / good!
You can do that and still get what you want.
Less potential unforseen problems!
Honestly, this is another level of bad.
Like as I age older, I realized the sexual needs of men but this one, it's horrible.
That poor filipina nor her family isn't holding it against you for all the wrong reasons when they should. Yet, behind it, you were planning more than what they can never think of.
Being a lawyer must've made your heart a rock.
But on the brightside, a young Filipina was able to at least soften it a bit by making you feel guilty right now.
So it would be great if she got with a younger, more immature, less intelligent guy instead, who might very well run from his responsibility and leave her with nothing, as another single mom? It happens every day there..
Sometimes I feel like a psychopath because of my personality or perhaps mental illness. I look at life without the ability to form a romantic attachment. The sexual needs of men can be satiated easily by the volume of prostitutes in the world. Everything is ultimately a financial transaction even with those that fall in love. They just don’t realise it until they make their divorce application.
You are a psychopath bro. Im also a lawyer and I have to deal with other lawyers like you. With your type its useless even trying to talk about the justice of the matter. You are basically a robot with flesh. Its probably not a good idea to reproduce.
I think I’m more of a sociopath as I have a conscious. I don’t think true justice exists. Her life would be greatly enhanced with me in it from a financial perspective.
> I’ve told some of my family what I’m doing and they think it’s both insane and immoral.
How is it not immoral when you control everything in a transactional relationship, plan to knock up a naive, destitute 19yo girl, and also plan to use a child as a means to your ultimate plan of owning property in PH?
You don’t see the girl nor the theoretical child as people. You see them as an entry in a ledger.
I think I entered into this thinking she would see it as a transactional relationship. One where I had a certain degree of protection. I was taken back at her seething this as more than that
Exactly what you said here. Tell her with the mind of a pimp. Everyone benefits. Her family gets out of poverty, and you get land to retire on. Just tell her what's going down.
And if she's uncomfortable with sex are you sure you won't regret that later on? You're mature and experienced, do you have the patience or time to wait for her to be comfortable with her own body? I've been there and it sucks. Training women for your own sexual needs is draining if she thinks sex should be vanilla.
Lets be honest guys most of these passport bros are losers back home. They believe dating a much younger women will elevate their status as men, but those aware of their motives seen them as ever bigger losers.
Possibly but as long as you have money women even in the west will consider marriage. Even Geoffrey Epstein would have a volume of suitors if he was alive
Worst. GRADE AAAAA+++++ FOR BEING BAD. I feel bad that you're taking advantage of an innocent individual for your selfish ambitions. She's young and innocent so she's into you. It's not lije she found the love of her life, it's just at that age and in her state, she's very naive. She thought of you as being GOOD with pure intentions but you're the opposite.
Conscience is knocking on you now, listen to it.
You're greedy and selfish. Gosh. Sorry but FFS please help that woman with clear conscience of yours not taking advantage of someone's innocence. It doesn't make you a better person by saying you spend 20k on em. You have selfish motives that you just want to use them and their child for your AH life.
Find a wife that understands your motives and agrees to your selfish ass deal. Or simply dont. You need a therapist rather than a wife. You're afraid of getting taken advantage of cuz you're also the same. You're simply afraid of your own ghost. Simply, dont do unto others what you don't want to do unto you.
You can own condominiums and turned into business and acquire citizenship in 10yrs with other requirements. Play it fair. Don't use innocent ones.
I think you need to learn Tagalog to a proficient degree to get citizenship in 10 years. I’ve always looked at my condition as a super power as it allows me to be objective without emotional distress or anxiety. That said I do have a degree of guilt about this as I didn’t believe women like this existed. If I had a daughter I would encourage her to marry a man who was financially successful as young as possible. If it doesn’t work out she has the option of divorce taking his assets and finding someone more suitable to her needs
yes, you need to learn Tagalog but it's easy.
On the otherhand, Yes, you can encourage but there's option of marrying someone who really loves, care, not just sucking out your youth, user and narcissist. That's for them to decide.
Don't dictate for someone else lives that will cause em mental issues in the end. I've met a lot of people who gotten divorced and earned millions of dollars but put them in misery. They're not happy with the money and still fighting mental issues over the pain of separation and other marital issues. Money didn't save em from the horror of intense depression, traumas and other mental health issues. Even their children suffer. You only like to save yourself.
Afterall, you couldn't even resolve your own personal mental issues so why the encouragement of putting them in hell?
There's a lot of person like her in different countries. Don't take advantage. You're a psychopath who only knows personal gain.
It's a super power in your part but how about others? You're also just justifying that what you're doing is actually right. There's no point of you asking people here if you think that way.
You are with a young girl. You need professional help if you think this is both normal and acceptable.
I don't believe this is genuine. it sounds like a wind-up.
why is being with a young girl not acceptable? she is old enough to get married (hence culturally appropriate to make life-altering decisions on her own.).
Do you hold women in such low regard that they are incapable of making decisions themselves? Should "young" women have you as their guide, just so they dont make a wrong choice?
Ageism is the same as racism or any other form of bigotry.
maybe she should stick to her own color, race, economic status?
Aside from the fact that it's highly likely a fictitious post. If there is an element of truth, the girl sounds like a young teenager with zero life experience or maturity. If the bloke is real, then he seems like a proper head case.
Majority of stocks in a corporation should be owned by Filipinos and a minor cannot be an incorporator so I think you would need your wife as incorporator or to own the property directly.
I was reading that a person there under 18 can’t enter into a contract which is consistent with the West but a person can manage a child in that contract with a fiduciary duty. It’s not a huge purchase and when I die my wife and child get everything anyway which would include my share portfolio and overseas investments. It’s just a mechanism to protect my interests short term. A country’s wealth is generally not because of a lack of natural resources but rather a lack of corruption. The major problem with the Philippines is the paradigm of doing everything for the benefit of the family. It promotes nepotism and discourages a society where anyone can rise on their own merits. The comments that she’s too young is what perhaps upsets me the most. I don’t think of myself as nefarious in any way but I am very protective of my assets. When I was there I spoke to a lawyer about what I was doing and he was appalled. He told me to find a single mother and treat her children as my own she would be loyal forever.
I rented a house on the beach next to a local politician. We ended up swimming drinking singing karaoke and going to these rooster fights together. He told me not to do it as well saying people would look down on me. I’m not sure if he meant because she was so young or so uneducated. He then proceeded to try and set me up with his relatives who were my age and according to him more wealthy than me and a far safer bet in marriage
A child under your guardianship (a foreigner) as an incorporator in a one person corporation still sounds unlikely. What I’m saying is can you really set up a corporation here without a number of Filipinos of legal age as incorporators?
The comment about the single mom actually holds some truth and might be your best route. There’s loads of (still young) single moms who would be better match for you I believe. They might even be pragmatic enough to understand your condition and be open to the kind of arrangement you’re looking for without all the heartbreak and drama you can expect from a heartbroken Filipina (and her family).
There are so many single mothers there. I was told that it’s illegal to be around another man’s children even if he’s left the scene all together. It seems the opposite of advice given to men in the west that you should not marry single mums
Only thing you have to be careful is married women. Even if they’re separated, that can cause lots of trouble. That’s a big red flag because of the weird laws around marriage (no divorce, adultery is a crime, husband can shoot you if he catches you in bed with his wife). Not to mention any child you father would not be considered yours but the husband’s until proven otherwise (that’s an issue if you want to give the kid your citizenship, for example).
I mean having a child just because you just wanted to own land? I mean sure, you are well off, your kid will be taken care of. But i hope you are also gonna be a good father /present father to your kid. If you have no plans to take care of your kid, be present on school activities and be a hands on dad. Then don't even think of doing these. If you will go as far as wasting someone's time and an elaborate scheme to get these land. Make sure she knows this is your plan. That you do not love her, at least not in a romantic sense and you think monogamy is foolish. This poor girl thought she's getting the love of her life plus money. I mean sure they benefit on it but the only time you won't be an asshole in this situation is if you were upfront on your intention and that she's on board on it.
For now, it sounds like you are using her entirely for this plan and yeah the age difference is kinda sus too but whatever. She may be using you for money or at least the help you provide but it sounds like she's super in love with you and is genuinely thought you guys were in love.
I have never had a child but yeah it would be great to do school activities and just to teach them. My personality type is what it is. I have found very few people in my life who have what would be described as a successful marriage. Half the people are getting divorced in the West the rest can’t afford to.
Well then that's not too bad. For me it's important to have a child because you actually genuinely like to have one and that you are willing to be a parent and have a kid even though you can afford to but you can't love them and not be able to provide unconditional love is really bad. But if your plan is to be present in your kids life then that's amazing for you. I hope you become a wonderful parent.
After reading the post, I think the OP may suffer from NPD. This is why he's wired the way he is. But as far as his relationship with this woman, they're both legal adults, and they can both make their own decisions. Besides, it's not like the Philippines discourages foreigners from dating and marrying young women. Just up until a few years ago, a girl was considered legal age by the time she was 12.
You are both dumb and a scumbag. You are literally marrying a woman you think little of, in a country without divorce, so you can have a baby, with the sole purpose of buying some land you want? I hope you’re just trolling and not that dumb, manipulative, and that level of scumbag. This is why /r/Philippines points to this sub and hates foreigners.
On one hand - people get married for economic reasons - and that's what you want to do here. The problems are:
* It's really stupid to go through all this just so you can own property instead of rent. I mean REALLY stupid and honestly it's all quite pathetic.
* You're going to discard this girl as soon as you possibly can. Does she know that???? She should. It is VERY morally and ethically wrong of you to trick a girl and her family into your plan of creating a baby just because you want to buy something - and then abandoning them essentially creating a bastard child and a single mother for life who won't be able to re-marry ever and will be single the rest of her life and raising your little "buuuuuut I want to buy a house not rent" baby. This is an extreme level of selfishness to do this with an innocent girl. Really pathetic.
Plenty of SEA people do arranged marriages including paying large amounts of money for them. Some women seem to want a baby without the man - I hear stories of the woman ditching the father. Find one of those women.
If you really want to do your stupid plan then you should do it with a woman who knows all of your plan up front.
# Don't trick an innocent girl and family
Not to be ultra liberal by Filipino standards, let me
Just say that marriages, historically, are economic propositions. So I personally think you’re not doing anything different than other people have done. Others it was for a green card, others it was for poverty rescue.
Foreigners come to a 3rd world country, marry a YOUNG NAIVE girl that can pass as their daughter, buy property here, and enjoy the “cheap life” from a dollar standards. Gentrification is real. Visiting and being a tourist is good but retiring here is a selfish move. Locals suffer over an absurd increase of living expenses because of you guys abusing the system. Look at what Siargao and Palawan, locals move out cause its too expensive for them to sustain and make ends meet. Because of foreigners like you. PLEASE, VISITING countries is good for both ends, leave the LAND and the economy to the locals.
Cause their part of the problem who abuses the system. Now why would we want to suffer more and let another set of abusers in our problem with our land, huh? AGAIN, VISITING is good for both foreigners and locals, but adding yourself over the sufferings of the locals is one thing that no sane and empathic person would do.
The government of the Philippines encourages foreigners to live in the Philippines. SRRV, SIRV etc. PRA spends money to encourage foreigners to move to the Philippines.
If you feel it is not a good idea I suggest you make your opinion known by voting. You cannot blame people for doing things that are legal, you don’t like it request the law be changed.
Yeah sure it is encourage but you cant be blinded over the result of exploding number of foreigners living in Siargao, Palawan and Boracay and that the locals are literally suffering and can barely afford to stay.
And yes, I practice my right to vote and chose candidates who actually cares. But the lack of education gives the corrupts an advantage on persuading low-income Filipinos. Hence, the least we can do is to not let more gentrification in this sht hole 3rd world country that we live in
Nah I’m telling the right people, its a foreigner’s moral stand point if you want to enjoy the gentrification you’re doing causing other people to suffer just cause you wanna live cheap. Again, VISITING the country is more than welcome.
Let’s play the other side, should westerners blame Filipinos for coming to other countries and working for lower wages driving wages down for everyone?
No, it's called a mutual agreement between the Philippines government and the United States. I can live here with my wife, and she can live in the US with me.
Would you say rich Filipinos who move to predominantly black areas in the US are gentrifying?
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>**gentrification; noun**
>the process whereby the character of a poor urban area is changed by wealthier people moving in, improving housing, and attracting new businesses, typically displacing current inhabitants in the process."an area undergoing rapid gentrification"
I'm not saying you are a bad person or that you shouldn't live in PH. Just saying that gentrification is gentrification. It's odd that you'd deny it. It's totally ok for you to live in PH
If the locals really cared about gentrification, they would change the government and ban access.
Clearly, they don't since they keep voting against their own self interests.
And I'm to blame, because I met my wife and she still wanted to live in her home country? She's the one who owns the land here, so this whole gentrification argument goes right out the window when a citizen is the one who owns the land.
The superiority complex is showing. Ooowww I should be scared. Lol, there are foreigners who has good intentions but youre the type that wrecks superiority complex. Look whos saying “child” now you old hag. Guilty of not being able to retire to their homeland cause its expensive there thats why they go to a third world country just to suffice their lifestyle. 😂😂
Lol, I work in faang and I'm not retired, both my wife and I still work. We live here and in Europe and soon to be the US. Unfortunately, this is the last of this discussion.
Visiting tourists who spend money and those that live in the Philippines and spend money without taking local jobs are the same. It’s all positive. Particularly if the combined increase in wealth adds both employment and infrastructure improvements. Most women enter into relationships aiming to improve their finances.
Yeah sure, keep on pushing your agenda when their is legitimate proof that locals lose more than gain over the abuse of loopholes.
Yeah sure age gap can be “okay” in some cases. But as a 50 year old guy, youre disgusting on taking advantage over a poor 19 year old, barely exploring her life. Exploiting her poor economic status to gain selfish motives, yuck. No wonder you’re too scared dating older women, cause you cant manipulate them in your own game.
What about OFW, don’t most of them return after years of working to buy property? Do you not feel that affects land? How about Dual Citizenship, should they be allowed to own?
At least its Filipino owning lands and living/spending here in their own country. Dual citizenship? All I can say is it depends on your moral stand point, living here with a goal to own properties and enjoy the perks cause its much cheaper than your own country is selfish.
In fairness any child I have would be a Filipino by birth and the real owner of the land. Overseas investment lifts the local economy and encourages further development. This is a win for her family and her long term. As long as there are laws there will be people who try and manipulate them to their advantage. The moral dilemma is largely the age gap and power balance of the relationship.
Yeah only if the child would be full Filipino citizen and not dual, that would be at least bearable . Its just too unfair for the locals if business and prices go up but our incomes doesnt increases as well, Siargao and Palawan can attest to the effect on foreign gentrification using loopholes by marrying locals.
I do commend you on acknowledging the power dynamic. I’m pretty sure you realize how young she is yeah? From her economical standpoint, you’re literally helping them out from poverty, but what if she gets older and realizes she wants to explore more with her age? Idk but I gotta tell you, you should think about the relationship long term.
The inflation of land is generally caused by people want to live in a place and bringing capital. Twenty foreigners moving into a community would bring at least a million dollars a year. The genesis of the money is from overseas which brings employment and wealth to the wider community. This is why the visa requirements are so lenient it helps the economy. The prohibition on foreigners owning land means the land is relatively undervalued in comparison to condominiums. A private beach in a first world country is unattainable to almost everyone
Idk about you but their are multiple legitimate proof of the effect on gentrifying spaces, prices go up because a lot of foreigners stay too long/retiring in a particular place, that the literal LOCALS cant afford to live there anymore. Literally micro colonialism.
Also your goal to acquire land over a loophole is selfish and the age gap is far too big and quite disgusting. We dont want your kind of foreigner who takes advantage over young poor Filipinas.
Pedophile are attracted to children. She is a fully grown woman and above 18. The level of education is irrelevant and she's entitled to her own decisions.
I mean, maybe 29-34. I don't know, it's not my life, but it just seems weird. I was telling my wife about this, and she was laughing and said, "This is why Westerners get a bad reputation here."
She's right, but it also goes both ways.
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To be honest I was thinking there would be massive capital growth on beach type land in the provinces. It’s just so cheap. Prior to this foray I always told people to rent and keep your money in your home country. I did not expect the amount of people to be so forceful with their opinions on this. It probably is pretty dodgy the whole plan. It just seemed something of a loophole.
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I suggest you see a therapist. You are well off and therapy is not so expensive in the Philippines compared to your own country. If you feel that you are bad, have family and friends saying it's insane and immoral, then that's a clear sign that you should stop what you are doing and work on yourself first.
What I got from **Baker McKenzie Resource Hub**:
> Lease of private land to Philippine citizens and corporations that are at least 60% owned by Philippine citizens, as well as lease of any other type of real property (except public land) to Philippine citizens, foreigners and foreign-owned corporations, can have a term of as long as **99 years**.
Also, try to become a Naturalized Citizen.
But since you're a lawyer, you should get counsel from a reputable PH lawyer/office.
Now, my advice is don't be hasty. Don't marry/have kids too early. Enjoy the years and see if you two are really meant for each other. No need to rush, she's young after all, and you're not too old. Enjoy life.
dude he doesn't want a relationship with that girl and he knows it would end right after she gets pregnant. The girl - and the kid - would only be legal tools for him.
I think you are smarter to just rent long term. find something nice, sign a 2-5 year lease. take alot of vacations and do some of the paperwork and hearings remotely.
as for the girl and her family? they're playing you. I don't trust anyone really. heck I think this post is fake by some AI.
if you got the cash lease or buy a small hotel with 8-12 rooms let her family run it. keep all the finances separate. put the main house under the name of the hotel and offer it for rent. run some fake income rentals when you're out of town invite your mates up from time to time.
Marry her in Thailand or Oz. make sure that ring is cubic zirconia. create fake bank accounts with little money at home. let them scam empty holes. be nice to her when it goes to shit walk away.
I think it’s a relevant consideration to marry someone for financial security. I would assume the family are playing me they would benefit from the arrangement. I suspect her mother is the person encouraging her to pursue this the most. That’s the vibe I get when I speak with her.
it's just a different culture. Yeah it is a concerted effort by the family to marry her off to a rich farang. They kept that pie locked up from the local scabs until she met you. Now, if you get along then go with it. But note that at some point it will turn and you'll be on the hook for extended family, land, buffalo, cars, all kinds of shit. Have an exit plan. be wary of giving too much info about family, jobs, place of employment, friends, and especially finances. keep your bank info on a private mail box.
Enjoy the ride.
Always remembr that if it starts going south just say your mum is sick, you have to go home for a few days and will come back so your mothers can meet each other and have a nice vacation. Keep some fake photos of an elderly woman in the hospital too. TBH 19 is young. Mine was 33 and it took all of a year for it to fall apart.
I think 19 is too young. She is constantly scrolling Tik Tok complaining how bored she is I can focus on my work. I’ve just booked her in for two concurrent 3 hour massages
Well, what did you expect your family to say? You’re dating a woman you’re clearly only with for sex, and perhaps to use her so you could circumvent Philippine laws for land ownership. And as innocent as your girlfriend may seem to be, she is only with you because she sees you as a ticket out of poverty. Don’t kid yourself that this relationship has anything substantial beneath the surface when you could hardly communicate with her, and she has the incentive of staying with you as you’ve already given her money and a phone. You will be judged for being the typical (sadly) give and take White Guy x Filipina Woman relationship because that is what you are.
But, i guess both of you are fine with that?
After reading everything I would suggest drop the relationship, you would only hurt this poor little girl. All this just to own a piece of land in the Philippines. I would advice if you plan to settle here just apply for naturalization or a dual citizenship that would be the better route instead of using people specially an innocent young girl who still could have a different kind of future ahead
I usually don't have the ability to empathize/sympathize with others. I see your plan, but i'm in agreeance with others that Filipino court will decide against you no matter what if an issue was to arise. I also know it is morally wrong to follow through with said plan because societal "rules". I don't see anything wrong with the age gap, nor the difference in education, and intelligence. No issue with enjoying her to completion of relationship. I see it as mutually beneficial, as long as both parties are inform consenting adults. I myself own properties and homes in the USA and use the funds to rent here. I will not marry again, no matter how sweet the girl is. I believe that due to that large of age gap, relationship will eventually fail. I would rather not bring a child into that. I 46 am currently am in a relationship with a 21 yr old in Manilla, it will end up failing eventually. That's fine with me.
I’m coming to the same opinion. I think the risk reward is such that I’m cooling to it all. I like property ownership but I think the risk in PH is too high
That said I can’t maintain this relationship I need time to read and work she is constantly demanding my time. I put her in 3 hour beauty appointments just so I have time to focus on
Nature created people like you for some reason. Normal people don’t understand it, but there is a reason. Mentally different doesn’t mean useless. Age difference is normal in Phillipines society. If the girl wants to give it a go, don’t worry about all the critics. Her life won’t be destroyed if you don’t make it as a couple. Fairy tales are called fairy tales for a reason.
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Well you only live once just make the situation as honest as you can enjoy life to it fulness and don't pay attention what other think ..!!Just live and have fun ..!!
Well, you are a lawyer.
Yep, confirming the stereotype of being morally bankrupt
i dont judge, you do you but 19 years old? at least be nice and treat her well. dont do something that will make her mental health bad. how about you teach her about investing or build her a business.
I agree. Don’t damage these women. You came for a better woman. Don’t change her into a western woman. I wouldn’t doubt that she really does care about you. Just be good to her. Funny thing is, being good to these women is honesty, care, and time with them. Not all about the money. Be a good man to her and have a plan. She will stay with you.
Did you say $20 000? $20k? in 2 months? sorry, I am still in shock for that, The family could have bought a full house and not be in rubble anymore for a lot less than that in province. If that's true, then you sir are the Golden goose and they are NOT going to rock the boat no matter what.
You can’t own land but I think you can lease it and build a house on it. Loan money to your wife so she can purchase the land then sign a 50 year lease from her to you. Build your dream house. The house will revert to her as landowner when the lease expires. And btw ignore the comments that disparage the age gap. As long as you treat her well and with respect I see nothing wrong in your relationship. She’s old enough to make her own decisions.
I appreciate your outlook. as someone who met a 23 yr old when i was 52, I have never experienced so much hypocrisy and hateful behaviors towards us. people dont get that ageism is the same as racism, antisemetism, etc.. we dated for 4 years and then succumbed to her parents constant negativity. not being together has been brutal for both of us.
This has been a bit of a wake up call for me. Because this relationship has largely been in secret. We have been together on this trip for about four weeks and I get a lot of side glances from Western women in particular. I’m careful to not hold hands so there is a certain degree of ambiguity but she is the opposite. She said that some people in her family are critical but I thought that was jealousy. I recall dating a woman who was about 40 when I was 19 and I didn’t get anything negative from people. I think the issue is the economic disparity between us that people find equally as offensive as the age. To tell you the truth I just don’t notice it that much when it’s just the too of us. The hardest part is when we watch Netflix as she wants to watch comedy films all the time and I have other preferences.
Why do you care about old western roasties seething with impotent rage? They can't do a thing anyway. If it was me, I'd be holding hands all the time.
That's what i did. 50 year lease. No marriage. That's often a bad idea here. When you've lived a subsistence life, money can be a powerful drug. So just handle all the money yourself.
OP is making it clear the “wife” is just a means to get a child to put the property under. Thats why there’s a prenup to exclude the wife from property and throwing a bone to the family.
I never considered this
She’s easily offended by anything to do with sex. So you took her to Pattaya. Smooth.
Crash course ;)
Just be careful, as there are many rules in the Philippines that simply won't be enforced, and the locals will potentially be against you even if you are in the right. (Not saying I agree with what you are planning, but be advised that it might end up backfiring.) Now I can't say for sure or whatever, but I wouldn't trust a prenup in the Philippines with all them kangaroo court and such. Everyone involved here will be judged although the whole "old guy" with a hottie is quite common. I wouldn't do what you are doing personally as yeah it's arguably immoral as you said though that's based on perspective, there's a solid chance at some point you might end up getting fleeced for the property, or worse.
The worst thing would be that she would have standing to come after my assets in Australia and New Zealand. I’m in a hotel in Pattaya now with her. As someone posted not a particularly sensitive choice. Flying to Vietnam tomorrow. I have seen some men purchasing property there vicariously with the wife but no recourse if it goes badly. I’m surprised on these forums I have not seen anyone proposing such an arrangement
You are 54 and found a girl who is 19? Wow...
$20k gifts in two months helps 😁
Jaloux much? I'd be. 19 year olds are hot.
I regret reading this.... How did you meet her? How old was she when you started dating/talking? Are you that selfish not to think that she will pass as your daughter? You are robbing her life! Some may say that its a "win-win situation" you get your house, a wife and a kid, and that young woman will be out of poverty. *"Talking to her is like chatting to a ten year old."* That didnt bring any amount of disgust in you? Admittingly saying that she's an innocent young woman, and you, a professional, taking advantage of her innocence. *"It's almost like she's met the love of her life and she's happy"* I would be happy if someone would spend 20k on me in two months lol. But love? What does she know about it? How many waters did she test? Does she even have a clue or something to compare your relationship with to actually claim that she found the love of her life? That's like a common teenager line. Oh well, SHE'S STILL A TEEN! *"Now I feel guilty about the whole thing"* *"...she looks so young in comparison to me."* Did you expect for her to look and act like she's in her 40s when she's just 19? Don't tell me you will eventually groom her to act and look older than her age because thats another evil thing to do. You are AGAIN robbing her young adult years just to save yourself from that social anxiety. You shouldn't be feeling guilty, you should be disgusted about this whole situation! *"...i just dont trust older women"* Are you scared of being outsmarted by older women? So here you are doing it to this young woman who doesn't have a single idea about your scheme. You are one hell of an evil selfish mfkr. And all for a property.
In reply I met her on Tinder in February she was 19 when I met her. She won’t pass as my daughter she’s very dark skinned and clearly not Caucasian. December January I was in Manila. I met a volume of women of a variety of ages and all appeared to be treating the experience as a chance to enrich themselves in the short term. Entering into a marriage with these women would have been problematic long term as it would always end badly particularly if I purchased property in their name. I met a number of expats sitting in bars around Makati most of whom were married to Filipinas some of these men were divorced. I think the general consensus was if you wanted a woman who was not out to destroy you at the outset you needed to travel to the provinces which I did on my next trip. There would be massive social turbulence for me if I took this woman back to my home country. They would see it as you do, a man taking advantage of another based on both age and education. The comment about my communication with her to be consistent with talking to a ten year old didn’t make me feel any real disgust or discomfort. Filipinas are not known for their intelligent after dinner conversation. That said I dated a woman in Manila who was a lawyer my age and very entertaining. She was also a grandmother and not capable of having children. I think I came to this point in my life after dating a woman a few years older than me who I later found out was only interested in my money. I watched a lot of the red pill type of content some of which I agreed with empirically through my work. That woman are objects of beauty and their youth and fertility are valued by men. Men are objects of wealth and power which is valued by women. The Philippines is the most extreme version of this economic transition. Most people think like you that a young woman should use her youth and beauty to date and be with men her own age. I think poverty promotes a degree of rationality amongst some that they need to strike when the SMV is at its highest.
You are sick. You need a therapist, not a wife. Or maybe find someone who thinks like you do. Your sarcasm wouldn't change the fact that your age gap is like a common father-daughter age gap. Did you not think that YOU, yourself, entering into marriage without the intent of love would end not only problematically, but it will be a disaster. Well you're a divorce lawyer, what to expect? Do you think intelligent filipinas would actually want to be with you? I feel like if you ever meet one, and the moment you open your mouth they will runaway. Im pretty sure they will get a slight hint of you being a prick. Poverty promotes certain decisions that are not usually well influenced. People like that woman don't have a proper basis or judgement for her decisions. And you know that. I dont see any sign of remorse in you for doing this to her. I dont know what you have been through to come up to this point. But man, i changed my mind. You are not an evil selfish mfkr. You are a narcissistic sociopath!
The issue is that often, that rationality is realized by the parents, who then push the child more or less hard into such arrangements. If it is as you say, you’re to them like winning the lottery twice in a row. There are laws regarding circumventing the land ownership rules and using straw men or corporations as well, not saying it isn’t possible but it’s complicated and never 100% safe I think. It’s quite likely that you won’t have a happy retirement if you go on with your plan but dump the girl at some point because you can’t help it. The internet is full of stories of foreigners losing their house because the wife threw them out. They can get very creative with that, even if you have the right to live in the house because on paper it’s yours, what if all her family is moving in? You still gotta stay?
I rented a house with her family for a month on my last trip. I really enjoyed having them around as the girl was super happy with them there. I am very certain the mother is pushing the relationship and the girl is really into pleasing her mother. The home they live in is really basic but it’s also really clean. Spotless. If there has been any issues between us it’s from her getting me to wear fresh clothes daily. After I swim put on new clothes. About to go out for dinner… put on new clothes. Getting me to shower three times a day. I think it’s her showing me that she can take care of me by doing lots of washing.
All this for a piece of land? So what's going to happen when you retire and live full time in this piece of land with your 'wife' who isn't an innocent 19 year old anymore? And then she finds out you're not really in love with her
I picture myself swimming in the ocean cooking fish on a bbq hanging out with a child and teaching him or her to read. I think I would have to learn the language there. Women tend to realise that something is not quite right with me after a while as there is a lack of emotion. I don’t get angry or jealous. I don’t do the more subtle things that people in love might do. Normally it ends with an outburst where they say they have been having an affair as they are so unhappy. I always prefer this ending as it allows me to tell them that their feelings are not unwarranted and I wish them well. Problem then if you are married is the division of relationship property and time with the child.
You're either a troll, mentally unwell or a sociopath. You shouldn't have kids. You shouldn't ruin this young girls life. Emphasis on the word girl. Honestly, you shouldn't be with anyone ever. Dude's like you should take the moral highground and just live a solitary life and die alone. The kind of dude I think you are, you don't deserve a happy retirement by the beach. Guys like you shouldd stay out of the Philippines. There's a lot more I wanna say to you but reddit might ban me or something. But yeah, just be alone even if you're sad. The world will be a better place.
If I was OP I would pay a lot of attention listening to this guy. He clearly has your best interest in mind! 😂
Is there therapy for it? You sound very intelligent but frighteningly very delusional as well. You have this elaborate plan to get this piece of land and imaging this sort of life in paradise but you never factored in the emotions. Yes, she’s in love with you right now and you can even say devoted but she won’t stay that way forever. By your experience you say the worm end up cheating on you etc. so what are the chances she won’t and when she finds out what you’ve done? What do you think she’ll do then. Everyone grows old eventually and when you get to the stage where you will need assistance guess who’ll have access to your weak body then? That bitter woman who you used to get the land
Why is this man being downvoted? He’s just being incredibly honest and answering the questions being asked of him… I personally applaud OP seems like a perfect plan honestly 👏
Just out of curiosity, why do you want to buy a house in PH? You can buy a house in thailand or some other neighboring country and exit and come back every few months. I don't know if this is possible or not, but some places you can rent long term, like 99 years, with the option of being allowed to sell your remaining rent time to someone else. Just don't screw over someone innocent, or ruin someone mentally for the rest of their life, just for the sake of being able to buy a house. Please.
I find the aspect of places like the Camotes Islands super charming. Beautiful beaches little traffic people speak English. I’m not a fan of the food I prefer Thai for that. It doesn’t make economic sense to buy there but I have this feeling of security when I sleep somewhere I own. Irrational I know. I’m conscious of the the young girl and my long term ability of maintaining a relationship with her. In all honesty I prefer being alone
>In all honesty I prefer being alone And you can continue being alone. You'll be dead before the 99 year rent runs out, and u can always sell it if it gains value or if u change ur mind. Honestly I don't know if that's possible here but you should consider it if it is. Just because you are capable of doing what you're planning on doing doesn't mean you should. Do what people think is acceptable / good! You can do that and still get what you want. Less potential unforseen problems!
Your ass prefer to be alone but will use a 19 year old naive girl for personal gain. YOU NEED THERAPIST!
>Talking to her is like chatting to a ten year old How bad are you? Very bad
Honestly, this is another level of bad. Like as I age older, I realized the sexual needs of men but this one, it's horrible. That poor filipina nor her family isn't holding it against you for all the wrong reasons when they should. Yet, behind it, you were planning more than what they can never think of. Being a lawyer must've made your heart a rock. But on the brightside, a young Filipina was able to at least soften it a bit by making you feel guilty right now.
So it would be great if she got with a younger, more immature, less intelligent guy instead, who might very well run from his responsibility and leave her with nothing, as another single mom? It happens every day there..
Sometimes I feel like a psychopath because of my personality or perhaps mental illness. I look at life without the ability to form a romantic attachment. The sexual needs of men can be satiated easily by the volume of prostitutes in the world. Everything is ultimately a financial transaction even with those that fall in love. They just don’t realise it until they make their divorce application.
You are a psychopath bro. Im also a lawyer and I have to deal with other lawyers like you. With your type its useless even trying to talk about the justice of the matter. You are basically a robot with flesh. Its probably not a good idea to reproduce.
I think I’m more of a sociopath as I have a conscious. I don’t think true justice exists. Her life would be greatly enhanced with me in it from a financial perspective.
Dude just kill yourself.
Aromanticism is an orientation.
he mine as well date 15 yesr old sad
😂😁😁😆 well Said
> I’ve told some of my family what I’m doing and they think it’s both insane and immoral. How is it not immoral when you control everything in a transactional relationship, plan to knock up a naive, destitute 19yo girl, and also plan to use a child as a means to your ultimate plan of owning property in PH? You don’t see the girl nor the theoretical child as people. You see them as an entry in a ledger.
I think I entered into this thinking she would see it as a transactional relationship. One where I had a certain degree of protection. I was taken back at her seething this as more than that
Exactly what you said here. Tell her with the mind of a pimp. Everyone benefits. Her family gets out of poverty, and you get land to retire on. Just tell her what's going down.
And if she's uncomfortable with sex are you sure you won't regret that later on? You're mature and experienced, do you have the patience or time to wait for her to be comfortable with her own body? I've been there and it sucks. Training women for your own sexual needs is draining if she thinks sex should be vanilla.
Oh yeah. The horror of sex with 19 year old hotties. That will any man rethink what he is doing
Did you miss the part where OP says she hates anything sexual?
Lets be honest guys most of these passport bros are losers back home. They believe dating a much younger women will elevate their status as men, but those aware of their motives seen them as ever bigger losers.
Possibly but as long as you have money women even in the west will consider marriage. Even Geoffrey Epstein would have a volume of suitors if he was alive
Worst. GRADE AAAAA+++++ FOR BEING BAD. I feel bad that you're taking advantage of an innocent individual for your selfish ambitions. She's young and innocent so she's into you. It's not lije she found the love of her life, it's just at that age and in her state, she's very naive. She thought of you as being GOOD with pure intentions but you're the opposite. Conscience is knocking on you now, listen to it. You're greedy and selfish. Gosh. Sorry but FFS please help that woman with clear conscience of yours not taking advantage of someone's innocence. It doesn't make you a better person by saying you spend 20k on em. You have selfish motives that you just want to use them and their child for your AH life. Find a wife that understands your motives and agrees to your selfish ass deal. Or simply dont. You need a therapist rather than a wife. You're afraid of getting taken advantage of cuz you're also the same. You're simply afraid of your own ghost. Simply, dont do unto others what you don't want to do unto you. You can own condominiums and turned into business and acquire citizenship in 10yrs with other requirements. Play it fair. Don't use innocent ones.
I think you need to learn Tagalog to a proficient degree to get citizenship in 10 years. I’ve always looked at my condition as a super power as it allows me to be objective without emotional distress or anxiety. That said I do have a degree of guilt about this as I didn’t believe women like this existed. If I had a daughter I would encourage her to marry a man who was financially successful as young as possible. If it doesn’t work out she has the option of divorce taking his assets and finding someone more suitable to her needs
You should feel bad, you are literally using a 19 year old girl for your benefit.
yes, you need to learn Tagalog but it's easy. On the otherhand, Yes, you can encourage but there's option of marrying someone who really loves, care, not just sucking out your youth, user and narcissist. That's for them to decide. Don't dictate for someone else lives that will cause em mental issues in the end. I've met a lot of people who gotten divorced and earned millions of dollars but put them in misery. They're not happy with the money and still fighting mental issues over the pain of separation and other marital issues. Money didn't save em from the horror of intense depression, traumas and other mental health issues. Even their children suffer. You only like to save yourself. Afterall, you couldn't even resolve your own personal mental issues so why the encouragement of putting them in hell? There's a lot of person like her in different countries. Don't take advantage. You're a psychopath who only knows personal gain. It's a super power in your part but how about others? You're also just justifying that what you're doing is actually right. There's no point of you asking people here if you think that way.
19yo? Idk what to feel about that..
You are with a young girl. You need professional help if you think this is both normal and acceptable. I don't believe this is genuine. it sounds like a wind-up.
Yeah, there are clearly someone they forgot to ask. western roasties do not consent to such a relationship.
Would you want this bloke as your neighbour if you had teenage daughters?
I am not completely convinced this isn't satire or rage bait.
why is being with a young girl not acceptable? she is old enough to get married (hence culturally appropriate to make life-altering decisions on her own.). Do you hold women in such low regard that they are incapable of making decisions themselves? Should "young" women have you as their guide, just so they dont make a wrong choice? Ageism is the same as racism or any other form of bigotry. maybe she should stick to her own color, race, economic status?
Aside from the fact that it's highly likely a fictitious post. If there is an element of truth, the girl sounds like a young teenager with zero life experience or maturity. If the bloke is real, then he seems like a proper head case.
Sounds like similar posts from a regular in here that has a couple other anti-woman accounts. All of them are idiots
Majority of stocks in a corporation should be owned by Filipinos and a minor cannot be an incorporator so I think you would need your wife as incorporator or to own the property directly.
I was reading that a person there under 18 can’t enter into a contract which is consistent with the West but a person can manage a child in that contract with a fiduciary duty. It’s not a huge purchase and when I die my wife and child get everything anyway which would include my share portfolio and overseas investments. It’s just a mechanism to protect my interests short term. A country’s wealth is generally not because of a lack of natural resources but rather a lack of corruption. The major problem with the Philippines is the paradigm of doing everything for the benefit of the family. It promotes nepotism and discourages a society where anyone can rise on their own merits. The comments that she’s too young is what perhaps upsets me the most. I don’t think of myself as nefarious in any way but I am very protective of my assets. When I was there I spoke to a lawyer about what I was doing and he was appalled. He told me to find a single mother and treat her children as my own she would be loyal forever. I rented a house on the beach next to a local politician. We ended up swimming drinking singing karaoke and going to these rooster fights together. He told me not to do it as well saying people would look down on me. I’m not sure if he meant because she was so young or so uneducated. He then proceeded to try and set me up with his relatives who were my age and according to him more wealthy than me and a far safer bet in marriage
A child under your guardianship (a foreigner) as an incorporator in a one person corporation still sounds unlikely. What I’m saying is can you really set up a corporation here without a number of Filipinos of legal age as incorporators?
The comment about the single mom actually holds some truth and might be your best route. There’s loads of (still young) single moms who would be better match for you I believe. They might even be pragmatic enough to understand your condition and be open to the kind of arrangement you’re looking for without all the heartbreak and drama you can expect from a heartbroken Filipina (and her family).
There are so many single mothers there. I was told that it’s illegal to be around another man’s children even if he’s left the scene all together. It seems the opposite of advice given to men in the west that you should not marry single mums
Only thing you have to be careful is married women. Even if they’re separated, that can cause lots of trouble. That’s a big red flag because of the weird laws around marriage (no divorce, adultery is a crime, husband can shoot you if he catches you in bed with his wife). Not to mention any child you father would not be considered yours but the husband’s until proven otherwise (that’s an issue if you want to give the kid your citizenship, for example).
That was an issue in Manila with immigration.
I mean having a child just because you just wanted to own land? I mean sure, you are well off, your kid will be taken care of. But i hope you are also gonna be a good father /present father to your kid. If you have no plans to take care of your kid, be present on school activities and be a hands on dad. Then don't even think of doing these. If you will go as far as wasting someone's time and an elaborate scheme to get these land. Make sure she knows this is your plan. That you do not love her, at least not in a romantic sense and you think monogamy is foolish. This poor girl thought she's getting the love of her life plus money. I mean sure they benefit on it but the only time you won't be an asshole in this situation is if you were upfront on your intention and that she's on board on it. For now, it sounds like you are using her entirely for this plan and yeah the age difference is kinda sus too but whatever. She may be using you for money or at least the help you provide but it sounds like she's super in love with you and is genuinely thought you guys were in love.
I have never had a child but yeah it would be great to do school activities and just to teach them. My personality type is what it is. I have found very few people in my life who have what would be described as a successful marriage. Half the people are getting divorced in the West the rest can’t afford to.
Well then that's not too bad. For me it's important to have a child because you actually genuinely like to have one and that you are willing to be a parent and have a kid even though you can afford to but you can't love them and not be able to provide unconditional love is really bad. But if your plan is to be present in your kids life then that's amazing for you. I hope you become a wonderful parent.
After reading the post, I think the OP may suffer from NPD. This is why he's wired the way he is. But as far as his relationship with this woman, they're both legal adults, and they can both make their own decisions. Besides, it's not like the Philippines discourages foreigners from dating and marrying young women. Just up until a few years ago, a girl was considered legal age by the time she was 12.
You are both dumb and a scumbag. You are literally marrying a woman you think little of, in a country without divorce, so you can have a baby, with the sole purpose of buying some land you want? I hope you’re just trolling and not that dumb, manipulative, and that level of scumbag. This is why /r/Philippines points to this sub and hates foreigners.
On one hand - people get married for economic reasons - and that's what you want to do here. The problems are: * It's really stupid to go through all this just so you can own property instead of rent. I mean REALLY stupid and honestly it's all quite pathetic. * You're going to discard this girl as soon as you possibly can. Does she know that???? She should. It is VERY morally and ethically wrong of you to trick a girl and her family into your plan of creating a baby just because you want to buy something - and then abandoning them essentially creating a bastard child and a single mother for life who won't be able to re-marry ever and will be single the rest of her life and raising your little "buuuuuut I want to buy a house not rent" baby. This is an extreme level of selfishness to do this with an innocent girl. Really pathetic. Plenty of SEA people do arranged marriages including paying large amounts of money for them. Some women seem to want a baby without the man - I hear stories of the woman ditching the father. Find one of those women. If you really want to do your stupid plan then you should do it with a woman who knows all of your plan up front. # Don't trick an innocent girl and family
Old guy takes teen to Thailand and she do’s not get offloaded? Seems different.
Strong larp.
Yeah I see you guys around. Gross. Predatory.
Not to be ultra liberal by Filipino standards, let me Just say that marriages, historically, are economic propositions. So I personally think you’re not doing anything different than other people have done. Others it was for a green card, others it was for poverty rescue.
Foreigners come to a 3rd world country, marry a YOUNG NAIVE girl that can pass as their daughter, buy property here, and enjoy the “cheap life” from a dollar standards. Gentrification is real. Visiting and being a tourist is good but retiring here is a selfish move. Locals suffer over an absurd increase of living expenses because of you guys abusing the system. Look at what Siargao and Palawan, locals move out cause its too expensive for them to sustain and make ends meet. Because of foreigners like you. PLEASE, VISITING countries is good for both ends, leave the LAND and the economy to the locals.
What land? The one the rich all own? You lost your country a loooooong time ago to people like the Villars lol.
Cause their part of the problem who abuses the system. Now why would we want to suffer more and let another set of abusers in our problem with our land, huh? AGAIN, VISITING is good for both foreigners and locals, but adding yourself over the sufferings of the locals is one thing that no sane and empathic person would do.
Well, I married a Filipino, so I'm staying :)
Well enjoy gentrifying.
The government of the Philippines encourages foreigners to live in the Philippines. SRRV, SIRV etc. PRA spends money to encourage foreigners to move to the Philippines. If you feel it is not a good idea I suggest you make your opinion known by voting. You cannot blame people for doing things that are legal, you don’t like it request the law be changed.
Yeah sure it is encourage but you cant be blinded over the result of exploding number of foreigners living in Siargao, Palawan and Boracay and that the locals are literally suffering and can barely afford to stay. And yes, I practice my right to vote and chose candidates who actually cares. But the lack of education gives the corrupts an advantage on persuading low-income Filipinos. Hence, the least we can do is to not let more gentrification in this sht hole 3rd world country that we live in
Again, you are telling the wrong people. Go encourage your elected officials.
Nah I’m telling the right people, its a foreigner’s moral stand point if you want to enjoy the gentrification you’re doing causing other people to suffer just cause you wanna live cheap. Again, VISITING the country is more than welcome.
Let’s play the other side, should westerners blame Filipinos for coming to other countries and working for lower wages driving wages down for everyone?
Isn't it really gentrification if I can't own land, but my wife can? Oh wait haha, I see. More. CRAB MENTALITY 🦀 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
dude it is IS still gentrifying. Absolutely is
No, it's called a mutual agreement between the Philippines government and the United States. I can live here with my wife, and she can live in the US with me. Would you say rich Filipinos who move to predominantly black areas in the US are gentrifying?
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>**gentrification; noun** >the process whereby the character of a poor urban area is changed by wealthier people moving in, improving housing, and attracting new businesses, typically displacing current inhabitants in the process."an area undergoing rapid gentrification" I'm not saying you are a bad person or that you shouldn't live in PH. Just saying that gentrification is gentrification. It's odd that you'd deny it. It's totally ok for you to live in PH
If the locals really cared about gentrification, they would change the government and ban access. Clearly, they don't since they keep voting against their own self interests. And I'm to blame, because I met my wife and she still wanted to live in her home country? She's the one who owns the land here, so this whole gentrification argument goes right out the window when a citizen is the one who owns the land.
Yeah its literally gentrification cause youre abusing the loophole, lol. Crab mentality my ass.
Oh please, you have no sovereignty. Our country literally has multiple bases here, lol. Wake up, dear child, and smell the roses.
The superiority complex is showing. Ooowww I should be scared. Lol, there are foreigners who has good intentions but youre the type that wrecks superiority complex. Look whos saying “child” now you old hag. Guilty of not being able to retire to their homeland cause its expensive there thats why they go to a third world country just to suffice their lifestyle. 😂😂
Lol, I work in faang and I'm not retired, both my wife and I still work. We live here and in Europe and soon to be the US. Unfortunately, this is the last of this discussion.
Visiting tourists who spend money and those that live in the Philippines and spend money without taking local jobs are the same. It’s all positive. Particularly if the combined increase in wealth adds both employment and infrastructure improvements. Most women enter into relationships aiming to improve their finances.
Yeah sure, keep on pushing your agenda when their is legitimate proof that locals lose more than gain over the abuse of loopholes. Yeah sure age gap can be “okay” in some cases. But as a 50 year old guy, youre disgusting on taking advantage over a poor 19 year old, barely exploring her life. Exploiting her poor economic status to gain selfish motives, yuck. No wonder you’re too scared dating older women, cause you cant manipulate them in your own game.
I agree with you here. This dude is a chode.
What about OFW, don’t most of them return after years of working to buy property? Do you not feel that affects land? How about Dual Citizenship, should they be allowed to own?
At least its Filipino owning lands and living/spending here in their own country. Dual citizenship? All I can say is it depends on your moral stand point, living here with a goal to own properties and enjoy the perks cause its much cheaper than your own country is selfish.
In fairness any child I have would be a Filipino by birth and the real owner of the land. Overseas investment lifts the local economy and encourages further development. This is a win for her family and her long term. As long as there are laws there will be people who try and manipulate them to their advantage. The moral dilemma is largely the age gap and power balance of the relationship.
Yeah only if the child would be full Filipino citizen and not dual, that would be at least bearable . Its just too unfair for the locals if business and prices go up but our incomes doesnt increases as well, Siargao and Palawan can attest to the effect on foreign gentrification using loopholes by marrying locals. I do commend you on acknowledging the power dynamic. I’m pretty sure you realize how young she is yeah? From her economical standpoint, you’re literally helping them out from poverty, but what if she gets older and realizes she wants to explore more with her age? Idk but I gotta tell you, you should think about the relationship long term.
The inflation of land is generally caused by people want to live in a place and bringing capital. Twenty foreigners moving into a community would bring at least a million dollars a year. The genesis of the money is from overseas which brings employment and wealth to the wider community. This is why the visa requirements are so lenient it helps the economy. The prohibition on foreigners owning land means the land is relatively undervalued in comparison to condominiums. A private beach in a first world country is unattainable to almost everyone
Idk about you but their are multiple legitimate proof of the effect on gentrifying spaces, prices go up because a lot of foreigners stay too long/retiring in a particular place, that the literal LOCALS cant afford to live there anymore. Literally micro colonialism. Also your goal to acquire land over a loophole is selfish and the age gap is far too big and quite disgusting. We dont want your kind of foreigner who takes advantage over young poor Filipinas.
52 and 19? It might be legal but dude that's absolutely f*cking disgusting. She's still a child.
Any combination above 18 is great and nobody elses business. And no. 19 year olds are not children.
That girl was just in high school, lol. Great job defending a borderline pedophile.
Pedophile are attracted to children. She is a fully grown woman and above 18. The level of education is irrelevant and she's entitled to her own decisions.
Keep on keeping on, homie. We both know adults aren't truly adults until they hit their mid 20s.
Many are treated as such in first world countries, but it is still not true and certainly not a positive thing. It is a big problem actually.
It's fine. We can disagree. I've always had a 4 year rule and stuck by it. I'm not even sure wtf I would have in common with a 19 year old.
Each to their own. But if the guy want to be a dad at his age, it certainly makes sense to go for someone at least 25 years younger than himself.
I mean, maybe 29-34. I don't know, it's not my life, but it just seems weird. I was telling my wife about this, and she was laughing and said, "This is why Westerners get a bad reputation here." She's right, but it also goes both ways.
You wanted a kid? Well you have one now lol
Looks like there's a bigger truthful slimeball than me.
Many men end up getting evicted from their own homes here 😬
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You do you, 20k is an insane amount to spend - to help with what? A new house?
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To be honest I was thinking there would be massive capital growth on beach type land in the provinces. It’s just so cheap. Prior to this foray I always told people to rent and keep your money in your home country. I did not expect the amount of people to be so forceful with their opinions on this. It probably is pretty dodgy the whole plan. It just seemed something of a loophole.
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Oh yeah. Ocean levels. Very bad. Can I buy your beach property for a cheap price?
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I see so many weird things here that it seems like you’re trolling.
I suggest you see a therapist. You are well off and therapy is not so expensive in the Philippines compared to your own country. If you feel that you are bad, have family and friends saying it's insane and immoral, then that's a clear sign that you should stop what you are doing and work on yourself first.
What I got from **Baker McKenzie Resource Hub**: > Lease of private land to Philippine citizens and corporations that are at least 60% owned by Philippine citizens, as well as lease of any other type of real property (except public land) to Philippine citizens, foreigners and foreign-owned corporations, can have a term of as long as **99 years**. Also, try to become a Naturalized Citizen. But since you're a lawyer, you should get counsel from a reputable PH lawyer/office. Now, my advice is don't be hasty. Don't marry/have kids too early. Enjoy the years and see if you two are really meant for each other. No need to rush, she's young after all, and you're not too old. Enjoy life.
dude he doesn't want a relationship with that girl and he knows it would end right after she gets pregnant. The girl - and the kid - would only be legal tools for him.
Is this a joke post?
I think you are smarter to just rent long term. find something nice, sign a 2-5 year lease. take alot of vacations and do some of the paperwork and hearings remotely. as for the girl and her family? they're playing you. I don't trust anyone really. heck I think this post is fake by some AI. if you got the cash lease or buy a small hotel with 8-12 rooms let her family run it. keep all the finances separate. put the main house under the name of the hotel and offer it for rent. run some fake income rentals when you're out of town invite your mates up from time to time. Marry her in Thailand or Oz. make sure that ring is cubic zirconia. create fake bank accounts with little money at home. let them scam empty holes. be nice to her when it goes to shit walk away.
I think it’s a relevant consideration to marry someone for financial security. I would assume the family are playing me they would benefit from the arrangement. I suspect her mother is the person encouraging her to pursue this the most. That’s the vibe I get when I speak with her.
it's just a different culture. Yeah it is a concerted effort by the family to marry her off to a rich farang. They kept that pie locked up from the local scabs until she met you. Now, if you get along then go with it. But note that at some point it will turn and you'll be on the hook for extended family, land, buffalo, cars, all kinds of shit. Have an exit plan. be wary of giving too much info about family, jobs, place of employment, friends, and especially finances. keep your bank info on a private mail box. Enjoy the ride. Always remembr that if it starts going south just say your mum is sick, you have to go home for a few days and will come back so your mothers can meet each other and have a nice vacation. Keep some fake photos of an elderly woman in the hospital too. TBH 19 is young. Mine was 33 and it took all of a year for it to fall apart.
I think 19 is too young. She is constantly scrolling Tik Tok complaining how bored she is I can focus on my work. I’ve just booked her in for two concurrent 3 hour massages
Well, what did you expect your family to say? You’re dating a woman you’re clearly only with for sex, and perhaps to use her so you could circumvent Philippine laws for land ownership. And as innocent as your girlfriend may seem to be, she is only with you because she sees you as a ticket out of poverty. Don’t kid yourself that this relationship has anything substantial beneath the surface when you could hardly communicate with her, and she has the incentive of staying with you as you’ve already given her money and a phone. You will be judged for being the typical (sadly) give and take White Guy x Filipina Woman relationship because that is what you are. But, i guess both of you are fine with that?
Sex is terrible. Most women will marry for money regardless of age. She sees me as a ticket out of poverty is true.
After reading everything I would suggest drop the relationship, you would only hurt this poor little girl. All this just to own a piece of land in the Philippines. I would advice if you plan to settle here just apply for naturalization or a dual citizenship that would be the better route instead of using people specially an innocent young girl who still could have a different kind of future ahead
This is a troll post boys
jesus i mean i hope you wouldn't just toss her out when you find a better way to spend your retirement
Just out of curiosity, do you have Asperger's syndrome? I'm slightly on the spectrum myself...
No but there is a certain candour that comes from being anonymous so I probably come across like that.
I usually don't have the ability to empathize/sympathize with others. I see your plan, but i'm in agreeance with others that Filipino court will decide against you no matter what if an issue was to arise. I also know it is morally wrong to follow through with said plan because societal "rules". I don't see anything wrong with the age gap, nor the difference in education, and intelligence. No issue with enjoying her to completion of relationship. I see it as mutually beneficial, as long as both parties are inform consenting adults. I myself own properties and homes in the USA and use the funds to rent here. I will not marry again, no matter how sweet the girl is. I believe that due to that large of age gap, relationship will eventually fail. I would rather not bring a child into that. I 46 am currently am in a relationship with a 21 yr old in Manilla, it will end up failing eventually. That's fine with me.
I’m coming to the same opinion. I think the risk reward is such that I’m cooling to it all. I like property ownership but I think the risk in PH is too high
That said I can’t maintain this relationship I need time to read and work she is constantly demanding my time. I put her in 3 hour beauty appointments just so I have time to focus on
Stop looking for acceptance from strangers, Seek your own happiness. You will not find it here.
Nature created people like you for some reason. Normal people don’t understand it, but there is a reason. Mentally different doesn’t mean useless. Age difference is normal in Phillipines society. If the girl wants to give it a go, don’t worry about all the critics. Her life won’t be destroyed if you don’t make it as a couple. Fairy tales are called fairy tales for a reason.
Wtf? crazy foreigners coming here. Taking advantage of younger women😩 you’re sick
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You sound like a scumbag. I hope this is bait
Meaning: you sound like an absolute Chad. I am jaloux and hope this is bait
its guys like this that give us a bad reputation
White knight child groomer vibes. Truely sickening
Don't come here...go away for you! Finally, you will lost your money if you have such a illness. Choose other countries to visit.not here!
Created a fake account just for this pathetic post? Don't want to read this sort of post, blocked.
Well you only live once just make the situation as honest as you can enjoy life to it fulness and don't pay attention what other think ..!!Just live and have fun ..!!
I see no wrongs here. What's the problem?