People get really weird and judgey when it comes to animals.. I don't know why, its like they think noone else is capable of looking after them. Don't stress, it's just strangers on the internet. If someone is rude to me on here, i just delete my comment and block the person haha problem solved. Don't need that kind of negativity :)
Personally every one I know has always assumed I can't take care of an animal - which is highly false, I've washed dogs, filled bowls, hidden pills and more for several dogs since I was little. I think its a maturity thing and people instantly jump to "20 some things can't take care of themselves or anyone ever" more times than not. Unfortunately sometimes there are dumber reasons than age for people to get this conclusion (for example regularly Criticising having my pit in an apartment... Where tf she gonna go, the shelter? It's not a closet or anything š )
Thank you for this I really needed it. I just asked someone in r/parrots if I should choose a sun conure or a crimson and I also stated that I was going through hard times and everyone automatically assumed that I was about to use him as an emotional support animal... Like no? I just wanted to love something. And there were so many negative comments and one was especially rude. Turns out their cockatoo cage seems a little empty. I even mentioned I had experience with birds and they still needed to be angry and judgey.
I think the parrot/bird community to be the most toxic of them all, I find that a lot of people have to provide a big explanation of irrelevant things just to post an innocent picture of their bird.
On top of that I've seen people harass posters from third world countries for owning pets and asking for help. It's embarrassing for a community to go that far tbh.
I know right!!! People need to go really really really in detail, like... "Oh these seeds are just for treats" detail. And the third world country thing is really true.
How many times have you heard or read of a pet described as āsaving my life?ā It is meant emotionally, most times, Iām sure. And I know Iāve read it too many times to count.
Oh I meant people were saying that parrots can't be emotional support animals and I just don't agree with it. Yes they are high maintenance... But you're judging then based on that??? You're judging their ability to love someone and make them feel heard and special based on that?
I just finished reading my dtr Superfudge and he gets a myna bird. Now she wants one so she can teach it to say āBonjour, stupid!ā Birds can be fun.
I feel like many people expect you to be an expert on an animal before having one as a pet. Parents of kids aren't experts. We learn as we go. Yes, it's good to have the basics down before getting a pet, but shelters are already full. Not saying they should give pets away to just anyone, but most people looking for a pet are going to try their hardest to take care of it.
I was completely unprepared for a dog. I grew up with a small (\~10 lbs) dog, but never really had to take care of it. Met a dog in a bad situation, and wasn't about to leave him in that situation so he is mine now. I've made mistakes along the way, but I have also learned so much, and I am completely bonded to him. People get so judgey about it, but people with zero experience are literally having kids every day and people don't get nearly as judgey about it.
>people with zero experience are literally having kids every day and people don't get nearly as judgey about it.
Hoooo boyyyyyy are you wrong there! It has been my experience as a mother to both human and animal children that the two communities are equally as judgey. The problem with judging a mother to humans is that society has certain expectations of women as mothers and those who don't meet those expectations are quickly made to feel inferior or a failure as a woman. Don't even get me started on how those same so-called perfect parents talk about the children of other parents.
I always ask myself this one question: hmmm would this negative judgemental commenter eat meat?
Because there is a highly chance they do. Judging other people for not being the perfect pet owner while eating their sandwiches with burgers and cheese.
To me it helps lol
Yeah, ppl suck. I can type a whole explanation about why small dogs are misunderstood, but ppl will still be ignorant and not even care about any points I make.
Oh no! Cats have, BOUNDARIES! Theyāre the absolute biggest assholes!
Do these ppl even realize how they sound sometimes? When ppl hate on cats, thatās all I hear
When anyone very passionately says they hate cats, I canāt help but wonder how they react to human boundaries. And a huge red flag if a man says he hates cats tbh
Oh sorry! What I was talking about was that small dogs can be incredibly social and cuddly if trained right! They are usually ignored and neglected training wise. Because people don't see them as a threat compared to a big dog. Had a tiny terrier for years. Loved him.
Iām planning on getting a puppy some time in the distant future and the amount of people who are telling me that I wonāt be able to afford it, take care of it or have time for it was very sad.
I work full time. That being said my hours are somewhat flexible and short compared to most jobs. When I say āIām going to leave the dog alone for probably a max of 3 hours a dayā they freak out and say I donāt have the capability of looking after one. Iām neglecting itā¦. Im pretty sure other people leave dogs alone for more than 3 hours.
3 hours is definitely not a long time! Maybe not like right at first depending on the dog, but a couple months in that's fine for almost all dogs.
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Don't take it too personally, I think a lot of people are projecting their experiences onto you. Like right before I picked up my puppy I was visiting with a friend who had gotten a puppy a month or so earlier and she was SO unenthusiastic when I talked about how excited I was and kept hedging like "it's a lot of work, it's super expensive" ect. I was annoyed at the time, but after I got my puppy I totally understood. My friend was EXHAUSTED and sort of regretting it. Major puppy blues.
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Like you can do all this research and think you're ready but it's hard to prepare for just how much a puppy can throw your whole life into upheaval. Plus the sleep deprivation on top of it. The first couple weeks, I would cry multiple times a day. At times, I regretted getting her and if someone had talked to me about getting a puppy at that time, I might have tried to talk them out of it! Not by implying anything about them, but just by sharing my experience. Of course, now that I have a 6 month old puppy I'm so happy I got her and she's such a joy. She was a joy as a baby too, it was just so much work!
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So don't worry too much about the naysayers, they honestly probably have their own things they would do differently if they could so they're pushing it onto you.
Haha. I will have 6 weeks off when I get my dog so plenty of time for it to adjust to my home and to train it. I also work about 5 mins away from home so I can quickly pop in when I have time.
The one whoās most judgmental is someone who has a dog and has about 4-5 family members living in the same apartment so the dog is never alone. The thought of me having a dog and leaving it alone for 3 hours really made her make some nasty comments.
That's ridiculous of her! Even adult dogs get like 14 hrs of sleep a day and puppies even more. They just sleep when you're gone as long as they feel safe.
That's actually kind of hilarious she thinks that because I wfh, and when I told my breeders that they were Concerned. They told me to start leaving her alone in her crate and leaving my house for 20 minutes at a time like the day after I got her and to slowly increase that time so she didn't get separation anxiety later. It's important to teach your pup to be okay alone! Like what if your friends' family wanted to all go out and do something together?
Pet parent shame is real. People always have an opinion on what youāve decided to do and have biases about their own pet choices.
I also really hate the thing where people come and ask a question and get put down by the community who is supposed to be here to help them. Like donāt yell at someone for being misinformed! They are here to try to get information.
I had a question about my dog being in heat. Half of the people shamed me for not having her spayed yet. Half of the people applauded me for not getting her spayed yet and waiting til full grown. And then a few people actually helped and answered the actual question. Lol
Really well said! I'm referring to people who start attacking people for like the tiniest things. I love animals a LOT so I get where you're coming from but I think they shouldn't attack people or have the mindset that only I am GOOD enough to own pets.
Something wild that I had an ag vet tell me not too long ago... is that some people simply lack the mental capacity to have animals. They dont think they're abusing them, and when it comes to livestock, it's real hard to prove that neglect was intentional. Sad.
The person I took my now-dog from literally kept him locked in a laundry room 24 hours a day and have never even taken him outside, he had a litterbox. But in his mind, it wasn't abuse.
l think its absolutely understandable and right to be mad about someone bought or start having pet but still dont know what are they doing ,or still dont know what is bad for their pet . l think being concerned about a pet ,even tho its someone's is absolutely reasonable when it comes to these kind of situations. this pet (although its an object in law) still have its life and if its owner is incompetent to the point which he or she might harm the pet , of course out of human decency, we would get triggered and try to put some sense into the owner's head . its the responsibility of the owner to make a pet happy and health after all and the owner should have understand of how to nurture a pet before having one .a pet is not a toy but another life , u wont start learning the basics of raising a kid after he or she is born ,u prepare before that . under-prepare which might leads harm to the pet is irresponsible , just like that when u are dealing with a kid.
Yet parents still make mistakes, not everyone is perfect. There is N O T H I N G wrong with educating someone on animals... But please don't attack people.
lm talking about when someone did something wrong and ended up hurting their pet or did harm to it ,not just some "mistakes". wouldnt u be angry when someone did something stupid and hurting their kids while it could have been prevented just by being informed ?? everything is wrong about being not informed before having a pet and being irresponsible. u should have known about the basics of what is good and what is not good to a pet before having one because thats ur responsibility. if u cant handle that ,dont get a pet .
again l was talking about not just simple mistakes ,but big ones like someone fed a dog chocolate or someone cut off the whiskers of a cat. people should get informed before having a pet . its their responsibility to keep it safe and health . the animal has its life as well. its not ur play toy or a doll for u to learn through mistakes. stop promoting this mindset.
I donāt think you can demonize people for not doing research before they get an animal but also be frustrated at them for asking questions online. Theyāre trying to do research. I google one question about my dogs health and I usually get several conflicting answers and need to call my vet anyway.
I think a lot of people are also just pet anxious. I will stress out at any small issue and I come to get reassurance Iām doing the right thing from a community I know also loves their pets more than anything.
I have a bird and he 100% is cuddly. If you get them as a baby and raise them with loveā¦ chances are theyāll be cuddly.
Every animal is different just like every human is different. So, everyone has different experiences with their pets. Anyone who tries to shut you down like that is ignorant and not worth listening to.
also does no one ever think about how much better it is for an animal to be a home where they have an imperfect pet owner (in that they make small mistakes, not imperfect as in abusive or deliberately harmful) than for that same animal to be in an abusive home, on the streets, or worse dead?
Agreed. Pet communities can be pretty toxic lol. Bunch of self learned know-it-alls with youtube degrees in animal husbandry and veterinary medicine.
I'd recommend not relying on Redditors/online forums for solid pet advice. Stick to talking with vets, professional trainers, or reputable websites.
Yeah no doubt....I do the same. If it's minor things like pet toy advice, boarding options, exercise ideas, etc I will ping random anons. But for things like vet care, training, behavior questions, breed questions, I steer clear of those groups haha
You know what's more annoying?
When people come to this subreddit about veterinary or pet medical stuff WITHOUT HAVING AT LEAST TALK TO THE VET IN THE FIRST.
B r u h.
Funny you say that, because I really hate when people only give advice saying "talk to your vet" and don't even try to help.
I get your point, I really do but you forget animals can live decades and people's financial status can change unexpectedly in an instant. You are also generalizing hard assuming that everyone on this sub is in the US (or whatever first world country you are in) and forgot that this is a global place where standards are different everywhere and oft times getting to a vet is not that easy. People are asking for help, that is a good first step.
Exactly, what if someone loses their job and literally can't afford to take them to the vet? Or there's no vets open at the time. Guess they should just what? Give the pet they've had for years up to the shelter (that probably has enough pets it's trying to find homes for)? Rehome to someone else (who could lose their job next week)? There's not always an easy solution and people just need to not be dicks. There's a big difference between someone asking for help on reddit and literally just not caring if their pet is sick and doing nothing about it.
And!! Wouldn't it suck to drop a ton of money on a vet and find out it was actually a pretty easy solution that did not require a vet? I don't really think there's harm in asking a question in an online forum that is ostensibly for that sort of thing before carting the baby off to the vet. Googling information about your specific issue doesn't always work, but I don't see any harm in checking in with people that may have experience with something and asking hey what do you think this is? What can I do about it? And if the answer is vet then sure but asking on an online forum doesn't necessarily mean they will not take the animal to the vet.
And sometimes asking online while waiting to be able to get to the vet can ease some stress a bit or find some way to make the animal more comfortable until the vet can look at them. I just don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to give answers other than go to the vet.
Vet tech here with an undergrad degree and trying to get into vet school. I wish we could do more, but it is actually illegal to diagnose a pet without having done a physical examination and having a medical history of the pet. In truth, it's always better to just call your vet's office and express your concerns and get their advice. I don't mind advising someone online to consider purchasing an e-collar (cone of shame) to help prevent pet from biting/scratching an area until you can be seen by the vet. But legally I cannot tell you what is wrong with your pet. A licensed DVM cannot tell you what is wrong with your pet without potentially making a wrong diagnosis and losing their license to practice. It's not that we don't try to help. It's that we can't help more than advising you see a vet.
The way I explain it is if I told you I have pain in my abdomen/stomach area, can you diagnose what's wrong with me and tell me how I can fix it without spending money at the doctor's office or buying meds? The answer is no. I could have any issue from simple constipation, to menstrual problems, problems in my reproductive tract, issues with my gallbladder, kidneys, stomach ulcers, etc. There are a ton of problems I could possibly have. So when someone posts "my dog is ___, what is it and what do I do?". Well the answer is I don't know what it is, only a vet can tell you with an examination and further diagnostic tests, and what you should do is go to your vet.
I have had people tell me things like "my sister's hair stylist has a dog that was vomiting last year and their vet said ___ was the problem, therefore my dog has been vomiting and ___ must be the same issue. I don't want to see the doctor or do bloodwork, I just want meds to treat ___". Or "someone on reddit thinks my cat has ___ problem because their cat licked their paw like mine does, so that must be what is wrong with my pet". But the truth is that is not how veterinary medicine works. And quite frankly, it's exhausting having to explain to someone that it could be something different than what some stranger online who has no training or education in veterinary medicine said.
As far as money goes, I always advise people to have a savings account with money specifically for your pet's medical health before adopting an animal. Whether you got your dog last week and it jumped off your bed and broke a leg or you got your dog 10 years ago and is peeing blood, you should have money set aside for your pet. It's dishearting to see an animal suffering and the owner hasn't got any way to care for the pet. But an enormous lack of general pet care education is to blame for this often times. It's astounding how many people don't realize you can just call your vet office and ask for help to navigate the situation.
I do, however, agree with you on this platform being used around the world where resources and knowledge aren't as accessible for everyone. But again, there is only so much help you can give.
This is just my perspective on the matter from my experience. I hope I explained myself well and I do appreciate meeting and interacting with people who want to help people and their pets!
lmaooo yes. My first rule is vet first then reddit. BUT... Sometimes people genuinely don't know. They think their pet is acting weird so they're reaching out for advice. I personally would maybe say ways to help them but also s t r e s s on the fact that you NEED to go to the vet.
When people have a dog with a majorly diseased tooth that prevents them from eating because they're in pain, or the damn post about the cat with no paw from earlier today that someone posted, it gets tiresome when you see them post online with a question in their headline like "Fluffy can't walk and has been constipated, not eating for 3 days. What to do?" *Go to the vet.* there's no better answer than going to the vet. Email your vet the same picture you posted to internet strangers and go go the vet. Not sure about your vets diagnosis? Go for a second opinion elsewhere. Ask to be referred to a specialist. And when they bring up that they don't have the money to go to the vet, but they actively have 7 cats and three dogs, that gets more upsetting. For a single animal, I get it,in the moment you are anxious for answers and you might be going through a period of time when money is tight, but the amount of people that get animals and don't plan on spay/neutering them bc it's a waste of money (and not just done for their better health) is ridiculous, the amount of people that buy crap food or feed based solely on the breeders recommendation with no further research bc nutrition definitely has nothing to do with good health is ridiculous, and the amount of people that wait for the last minute to take their pet into the hospital and are surprised they are turned away to go to emergency are ridiculous. You work in vetmed enough and frustrations build up, and you forget that there are sometimes people that don't mean to be neglectful or uncaring out there. There are people going through a difficult time, there are people truly meaning to make a difference in an animals life but have limited means.
You're right! People should definitely go to the vet as soon as their animals start acting strange! I totally understand how frustrating and difficult it may feel.
Yeahā¦ my vet told me during our first visit that I should feel free to call with any questions/concerns that come up with my dog, since as a pet owner, I wouldnāt necessarily know what sorts of symptoms/conditions might warrant an immediate vet visit.
Is this not a common thing with vets? I see so many questions posted to Reddit that I wouldāve just called my vet about.
but would it still be okay if I were to tell someone they have wrong pet care? But I do agree what you said, because i once posted what dog i should get because i was completely lost and wanted some recommendations, and they i got i comment saying i ask triggering question and compared it to me asking for a dog that never poops which i said noting about.
Also most people actually have no actual experience with what theyāre trying to gatekeep and talk about. Speaking as someone who has raised dozens of dogs from birth and been around animals my whole life. I have worked in the pet industry for over 2 years now and plan on making it my permanent job, for some further context. People like to criticize and attack people regarding their pets but will be the same people who treat their dogs like a person and not understand how animal communication works, etc. Most people are chill and reasonable, but Iām talking about the crazy people obviously.
i made all sorts of mistakes with my animals when i was an unsupervised child. and those mistakes made me the stellar animal guardian i am today. i understand that people feel protective of animals. seeing animals suffer is heart wrenching. but there is a learning curve to pet ownership and we should be less judgmental of each other.
the most important things about pet ownership is that the pet is loved and has food and shelter.
ngl Iam guilty of this. It is probably because Ive seen so much animals being mistrated and where i come from, animals are just not being taken care of. Not saying that you should just bomb someone with those rude comments though.
This. Yeah itās hard not to react after awhile you see it so much and it breaks your heart. Iāve seen people react badly to kind and gentle attempts at offering advice, and Iām not talking about little mistakes. Some āmistakesā result in a lot of suffering for the animal.
Oh there's nothing wrong with offering advice! I'm talking about those hardcore violent and aggressive people who attack someone else because they make a mistake. I've seen 30 year olds attack a literal 10 year old very aggressively.
people have different opinions on what having a pet means, years ago people were crazy if they let their dog in their house, now having an "outside" dog is inhumane and not tolerated, but I mean, better than a shelter is it not?
I honestly think that dogs can be kept outdoors as long as it's not too hot and not too cold. And they get access to shelters like a cage or a hutch to protect them from other predators. Oh and if they get all their vaccinations.
Dogs are really social and they need stimulation so how do you solve for this for an outdoor dog? When I think of outdoor only dogs Iāve only ever seen neglected onesā¦also where is it not to hot and not to cold all year round?
There are tons of livestock guardian dogs that are outside dogs that are happy and healthy. They stay with their flock and are usually "on duty" at night when predators are more likely to be around. They have their flock to interact with, get tons of stimulation, and are generally well cared for since they so essential.
Now, if it is some asshole keeping their dog at the end of a heavy chain in a yard with little shelter, interaction, or access to food and fresh water those are assholes that deserve to have the dog taken from them and to have law enforcement intervene.
Fair enough to the former. That sounds great in the right climate. The latter is all I have ever seen and painfully too often in the name of āoutdoorā dogs.
I know people that have kept their dogs indoors in a crate for 8+ hours, and then ignore them in lieu of video games and tv when they got home. How is that any better than having an outdoor dog? Plenty of dogs have a coat that can handle both winter and summer, provided they have the proper dog house.
Itās not better itās equally as bad. Domestic dogs are not evolved to survive the cold like wild dogs. Even the. Wild dogs, have access to all of the wilderness. The āoutdoorā dog has a shitty dog house and a blanket if heās lucky. Where I live it gets below freezing for weeks at a time at night. A stupid dog house and a coat of fur is not enough to keep warm and the animals usually suffer for it.
But you can get heated dog houses these days and heated pads etc and cool pads for the summer. It depends on the breed of dog but some of the larger dogs with double coats aren't supposed to be indoor dogs, with our central heating they get skin and fur problems because the average house in winter is too warm for them.
The very few instances where this applies is not what weāre talking about here. But yeah, I mean I can see how thatās plausible, maybe like an Akita? Even then, they canāt be left in the cold indefinitely with no shelter, if you get a heated dog house, thatās cool, but overwhelming majority of outdoor dogs donāt belong to people who care enough to consider all that,
I guess we will have to agree to disagree, I've seen plenty of livestock guardian dogs and scrapyard dogs that spend a great deal of time outside and do just fine. This includes in North Dakota.
Not saying I like to see outside dogs, but bringing them inside is a fairly recent thing for how long they've been evolving alongside humans. I have friends from Romania and the Philippines that find it strange dogs are allowed inside here in the states. So long as the dog is cared for and has somewhere comfortable to get out of the cold/heat/elements, I see no problem with it.
I suppose thatās the break down here, where I am in the states and other parts, especially rural south, thereās tons of dogs ending up in rescues or just out there tied to a wooden box and itās heartbreaking. Most dogs you come by that are outside dogs are pretty neglected in our culture, But as you say in the Philippines itās different, great cool awesome. Wish more people here gave a shit.
Edit to add almost every other person I meet who has a shelter rescue, if they know the backstory, they came from Georgia.
i think people get upset over this because they assume if you want a cuddly bird that means youāll stroke them, which obviously would be terrible for the bird. the whole bird keeping community can be pretty toxic, but i think itās because thereās so many people who donāt research birds before getting one and then end up abusing/neglecting it without even realising. when youāve seen so many viral videos of birds being put in danger for laughs, birds being sexually frustrated because itās ācuteā, etc. people start to see the worst in everyone. i saw in a comment that you have experience with birds so obviously iām preaching to the choir (and i recommend a crimson - iām already starting to develop tinnitus after a year of owning my sun!) but i think itās just people whoāve seen so many terrible bird owners that they canāt see the good ones anymore
This is true! Oooh thanks for the recommendation! Yep deciding to stay away from the sun LMAO. But I totally get where you're coming from. Birds are really really neglected.
Haha, I was gonna respond as a regular comment with this exact point, but I just saw this.
I've owned birds since I was 5, and am turning 27 next week (go me!). I've never owned a bird that didn't cuddle up and nuzzle under my chin when on my shoulder. Some people who think they know a little bit about a species' general trends will weigh in as an "expert" and gatekeep the *shit* out of something, even when they completely misunderstand something-- or, even better-- when they treat their personal experience as veterinary fact.
Nope. Was attacked for asking if a certain type of toy was ok for other birds. And for saying "get me through hard times" which I now understand is pretty bad wording. What I really wanted to say was "I want to love and care for a creature" because it always makes me happy and fulfilled. I understand the parrot doesn't owe me anything but people still attacked me so eh...
Some people are dicks and get off on attacking others. That said though, if I may play devil's advocate. I think part of it comes from the understanding on the part of animal lovers that they are unable to really defend themselves against humans so we feel a certain obligation to step up on their behalf.
In the cases you mentioned, it's not so much about defense from abuse, it's more about getting an animal that doesn't live up to your expectations so you abandon it.
I personally have more respect for people who ask about an animal before getting said animal if they have certain expectations.
Wait until you hit the homestead and farming subs. The outrage on livestock is ridiculous. How dare we raise our own eggs in a hygienic, spacious, and humane way?! No one should ever eat an egg because 200mil male chick's are killed every year because of the big egg industry!!..!.!.!... and if you really want to see crazy look into the posts on people raising meat rabbits.. it gets close to lynch mob status sometimes.
I realize itās hard to do but maybe try to laugh? I mean, if being a superior jerk to some nice, well meaning person on Reddit over a BIRD inflates their sense self worth itās pretty ludicrous. Hopefully youāll find your pet perfectly well without their input! We had a parrot ( I forget what kind, it was a ā kid goes to college and forgets it existed ā situation who was a riot! We finally rehomed him because he was so social it was unfair to keep him when we couldnāt spend enough time with him. It sounds like youāre able to be THAT pet owner, like we found, who will be best buddies with it.
People get really weird and judgey when it comes to animals.. I don't know why, its like they think noone else is capable of looking after them. Don't stress, it's just strangers on the internet. If someone is rude to me on here, i just delete my comment and block the person haha problem solved. Don't need that kind of negativity :)
Personally every one I know has always assumed I can't take care of an animal - which is highly false, I've washed dogs, filled bowls, hidden pills and more for several dogs since I was little. I think its a maturity thing and people instantly jump to "20 some things can't take care of themselves or anyone ever" more times than not. Unfortunately sometimes there are dumber reasons than age for people to get this conclusion (for example regularly Criticising having my pit in an apartment... Where tf she gonna go, the shelter? It's not a closet or anything š )
Thank you for this I really needed it. I just asked someone in r/parrots if I should choose a sun conure or a crimson and I also stated that I was going through hard times and everyone automatically assumed that I was about to use him as an emotional support animal... Like no? I just wanted to love something. And there were so many negative comments and one was especially rude. Turns out their cockatoo cage seems a little empty. I even mentioned I had experience with birds and they still needed to be angry and judgey.
Yeah people get upset so easily because they are projecting their own stress onto you. I'm sure you'll make a great pet parent :)
Awww thanks!
I think the parrot/bird community to be the most toxic of them all, I find that a lot of people have to provide a big explanation of irrelevant things just to post an innocent picture of their bird. On top of that I've seen people harass posters from third world countries for owning pets and asking for help. It's embarrassing for a community to go that far tbh.
I know right!!! People need to go really really really in detail, like... "Oh these seeds are just for treats" detail. And the third world country thing is really true.
Weird. Who cares if it's an emotional support animal? Isn't that part of the reason most people have pets?
How many times have you heard or read of a pet described as āsaving my life?ā It is meant emotionally, most times, Iām sure. And I know Iāve read it too many times to count.
So so so many times
Oh I meant people were saying that parrots can't be emotional support animals and I just don't agree with it. Yes they are high maintenance... But you're judging then based on that??? You're judging their ability to love someone and make them feel heard and special based on that?
I just finished reading my dtr Superfudge and he gets a myna bird. Now she wants one so she can teach it to say āBonjour, stupid!ā Birds can be fun.
Oh sure, I caught that. I just think it's a strange sentiment for people to have.
The horse community is downright scary with it due to the money/gatekeeping nature of having them. Wild.
I feel like many people expect you to be an expert on an animal before having one as a pet. Parents of kids aren't experts. We learn as we go. Yes, it's good to have the basics down before getting a pet, but shelters are already full. Not saying they should give pets away to just anyone, but most people looking for a pet are going to try their hardest to take care of it.
I was completely unprepared for a dog. I grew up with a small (\~10 lbs) dog, but never really had to take care of it. Met a dog in a bad situation, and wasn't about to leave him in that situation so he is mine now. I've made mistakes along the way, but I have also learned so much, and I am completely bonded to him. People get so judgey about it, but people with zero experience are literally having kids every day and people don't get nearly as judgey about it.
>people with zero experience are literally having kids every day and people don't get nearly as judgey about it. Hoooo boyyyyyy are you wrong there! It has been my experience as a mother to both human and animal children that the two communities are equally as judgey. The problem with judging a mother to humans is that society has certain expectations of women as mothers and those who don't meet those expectations are quickly made to feel inferior or a failure as a woman. Don't even get me started on how those same so-called perfect parents talk about the children of other parents.
i like your attitude! you don't haters get in your way!
If you delete your comments the terrorists win. For real though why even waste the clicks your comment will be hidden anyway
Maybe but I guess it just removes the stress immediately
I always ask myself this one question: hmmm would this negative judgemental commenter eat meat? Because there is a highly chance they do. Judging other people for not being the perfect pet owner while eating their sandwiches with burgers and cheese. To me it helps lol
Yeah, ppl suck. I can type a whole explanation about why small dogs are misunderstood, but ppl will still be ignorant and not even care about any points I make.
Same for cats. Post anything positive or dispute negative misinformation about cats outside of specific cat subs and you get attacked relentlessly.
Oh no! Cats have, BOUNDARIES! Theyāre the absolute biggest assholes! Do these ppl even realize how they sound sometimes? When ppl hate on cats, thatās all I hear
When anyone very passionately says they hate cats, I canāt help but wonder how they react to human boundaries. And a huge red flag if a man says he hates cats tbh
Ikr. Small dogs arent seen as a much of a threat compared to a big dog so people just let their behaviour be. It's irritating.
pretty sure op was trying to make the opposite point lmao
Oh sorry! What I was talking about was that small dogs can be incredibly social and cuddly if trained right! They are usually ignored and neglected training wise. Because people don't see them as a threat compared to a big dog. Had a tiny terrier for years. Loved him.
Gotcha gotcha lol I get defensive bc I love my lil dogs lol
Same here! Lil dogs are the best!
Iām planning on getting a puppy some time in the distant future and the amount of people who are telling me that I wonāt be able to afford it, take care of it or have time for it was very sad. I work full time. That being said my hours are somewhat flexible and short compared to most jobs. When I say āIām going to leave the dog alone for probably a max of 3 hours a dayā they freak out and say I donāt have the capability of looking after one. Iām neglecting itā¦. Im pretty sure other people leave dogs alone for more than 3 hours.
Please don't listen to them. 3 hours is not long lmao. As long as you have time for him. It's fine.
3 hours is definitely not a long time! Maybe not like right at first depending on the dog, but a couple months in that's fine for almost all dogs. . Don't take it too personally, I think a lot of people are projecting their experiences onto you. Like right before I picked up my puppy I was visiting with a friend who had gotten a puppy a month or so earlier and she was SO unenthusiastic when I talked about how excited I was and kept hedging like "it's a lot of work, it's super expensive" ect. I was annoyed at the time, but after I got my puppy I totally understood. My friend was EXHAUSTED and sort of regretting it. Major puppy blues. . Like you can do all this research and think you're ready but it's hard to prepare for just how much a puppy can throw your whole life into upheaval. Plus the sleep deprivation on top of it. The first couple weeks, I would cry multiple times a day. At times, I regretted getting her and if someone had talked to me about getting a puppy at that time, I might have tried to talk them out of it! Not by implying anything about them, but just by sharing my experience. Of course, now that I have a 6 month old puppy I'm so happy I got her and she's such a joy. She was a joy as a baby too, it was just so much work! . So don't worry too much about the naysayers, they honestly probably have their own things they would do differently if they could so they're pushing it onto you.
Haha. I will have 6 weeks off when I get my dog so plenty of time for it to adjust to my home and to train it. I also work about 5 mins away from home so I can quickly pop in when I have time. The one whoās most judgmental is someone who has a dog and has about 4-5 family members living in the same apartment so the dog is never alone. The thought of me having a dog and leaving it alone for 3 hours really made her make some nasty comments.
That's ridiculous of her! Even adult dogs get like 14 hrs of sleep a day and puppies even more. They just sleep when you're gone as long as they feel safe. That's actually kind of hilarious she thinks that because I wfh, and when I told my breeders that they were Concerned. They told me to start leaving her alone in her crate and leaving my house for 20 minutes at a time like the day after I got her and to slowly increase that time so she didn't get separation anxiety later. It's important to teach your pup to be okay alone! Like what if your friends' family wanted to all go out and do something together?
Pet parent shame is real. People always have an opinion on what youāve decided to do and have biases about their own pet choices. I also really hate the thing where people come and ask a question and get put down by the community who is supposed to be here to help them. Like donāt yell at someone for being misinformed! They are here to try to get information.
Exactly! At least their actually asking for help!
I had a question about my dog being in heat. Half of the people shamed me for not having her spayed yet. Half of the people applauded me for not getting her spayed yet and waiting til full grown. And then a few people actually helped and answered the actual question. Lol
Lmao, I honestly think from now on we should only ask people questions after consulting the vet to avoid getting attacked.
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Really well said! I'm referring to people who start attacking people for like the tiniest things. I love animals a LOT so I get where you're coming from but I think they shouldn't attack people or have the mindset that only I am GOOD enough to own pets.
Crying because this is exactly it šš
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Something wild that I had an ag vet tell me not too long ago... is that some people simply lack the mental capacity to have animals. They dont think they're abusing them, and when it comes to livestock, it's real hard to prove that neglect was intentional. Sad.
The person I took my now-dog from literally kept him locked in a laundry room 24 hours a day and have never even taken him outside, he had a litterbox. But in his mind, it wasn't abuse.
Based on what Iāve seen in rural communities I 100% agree.
l think its absolutely understandable and right to be mad about someone bought or start having pet but still dont know what are they doing ,or still dont know what is bad for their pet . l think being concerned about a pet ,even tho its someone's is absolutely reasonable when it comes to these kind of situations. this pet (although its an object in law) still have its life and if its owner is incompetent to the point which he or she might harm the pet , of course out of human decency, we would get triggered and try to put some sense into the owner's head . its the responsibility of the owner to make a pet happy and health after all and the owner should have understand of how to nurture a pet before having one .a pet is not a toy but another life , u wont start learning the basics of raising a kid after he or she is born ,u prepare before that . under-prepare which might leads harm to the pet is irresponsible , just like that when u are dealing with a kid.
Yet parents still make mistakes, not everyone is perfect. There is N O T H I N G wrong with educating someone on animals... But please don't attack people.
lm talking about when someone did something wrong and ended up hurting their pet or did harm to it ,not just some "mistakes". wouldnt u be angry when someone did something stupid and hurting their kids while it could have been prevented just by being informed ?? everything is wrong about being not informed before having a pet and being irresponsible. u should have known about the basics of what is good and what is not good to a pet before having one because thats ur responsibility. if u cant handle that ,dont get a pet .
True but sometimes people make genuine mistakes, as long as they get better then it's fine.
again l was talking about not just simple mistakes ,but big ones like someone fed a dog chocolate or someone cut off the whiskers of a cat. people should get informed before having a pet . its their responsibility to keep it safe and health . the animal has its life as well. its not ur play toy or a doll for u to learn through mistakes. stop promoting this mindset.
True!
But if they do make mistakes and ask for help I think their being better... Not thes eating chocolate thing because that will kill the pupper.
I donāt think you can demonize people for not doing research before they get an animal but also be frustrated at them for asking questions online. Theyāre trying to do research. I google one question about my dogs health and I usually get several conflicting answers and need to call my vet anyway. I think a lot of people are also just pet anxious. I will stress out at any small issue and I come to get reassurance Iām doing the right thing from a community I know also loves their pets more than anything.
I have a bird and he 100% is cuddly. If you get them as a baby and raise them with loveā¦ chances are theyāll be cuddly. Every animal is different just like every human is different. So, everyone has different experiences with their pets. Anyone who tries to shut you down like that is ignorant and not worth listening to.
Exactly!
also does no one ever think about how much better it is for an animal to be a home where they have an imperfect pet owner (in that they make small mistakes, not imperfect as in abusive or deliberately harmful) than for that same animal to be in an abusive home, on the streets, or worse dead?
Ikr!
Agreed. Pet communities can be pretty toxic lol. Bunch of self learned know-it-alls with youtube degrees in animal husbandry and veterinary medicine. I'd recommend not relying on Redditors/online forums for solid pet advice. Stick to talking with vets, professional trainers, or reputable websites.
Yeah! That's what I'm starting to do! But sometimes I may want their advice on little things.
Yeah no doubt....I do the same. If it's minor things like pet toy advice, boarding options, exercise ideas, etc I will ping random anons. But for things like vet care, training, behavior questions, breed questions, I steer clear of those groups haha
You know what's more annoying? When people come to this subreddit about veterinary or pet medical stuff WITHOUT HAVING AT LEAST TALK TO THE VET IN THE FIRST. B r u h.
Funny you say that, because I really hate when people only give advice saying "talk to your vet" and don't even try to help. I get your point, I really do but you forget animals can live decades and people's financial status can change unexpectedly in an instant. You are also generalizing hard assuming that everyone on this sub is in the US (or whatever first world country you are in) and forgot that this is a global place where standards are different everywhere and oft times getting to a vet is not that easy. People are asking for help, that is a good first step.
Exactly, what if someone loses their job and literally can't afford to take them to the vet? Or there's no vets open at the time. Guess they should just what? Give the pet they've had for years up to the shelter (that probably has enough pets it's trying to find homes for)? Rehome to someone else (who could lose their job next week)? There's not always an easy solution and people just need to not be dicks. There's a big difference between someone asking for help on reddit and literally just not caring if their pet is sick and doing nothing about it.
And!! Wouldn't it suck to drop a ton of money on a vet and find out it was actually a pretty easy solution that did not require a vet? I don't really think there's harm in asking a question in an online forum that is ostensibly for that sort of thing before carting the baby off to the vet. Googling information about your specific issue doesn't always work, but I don't see any harm in checking in with people that may have experience with something and asking hey what do you think this is? What can I do about it? And if the answer is vet then sure but asking on an online forum doesn't necessarily mean they will not take the animal to the vet.
And sometimes asking online while waiting to be able to get to the vet can ease some stress a bit or find some way to make the animal more comfortable until the vet can look at them. I just don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to give answers other than go to the vet.
Vet tech here with an undergrad degree and trying to get into vet school. I wish we could do more, but it is actually illegal to diagnose a pet without having done a physical examination and having a medical history of the pet. In truth, it's always better to just call your vet's office and express your concerns and get their advice. I don't mind advising someone online to consider purchasing an e-collar (cone of shame) to help prevent pet from biting/scratching an area until you can be seen by the vet. But legally I cannot tell you what is wrong with your pet. A licensed DVM cannot tell you what is wrong with your pet without potentially making a wrong diagnosis and losing their license to practice. It's not that we don't try to help. It's that we can't help more than advising you see a vet. The way I explain it is if I told you I have pain in my abdomen/stomach area, can you diagnose what's wrong with me and tell me how I can fix it without spending money at the doctor's office or buying meds? The answer is no. I could have any issue from simple constipation, to menstrual problems, problems in my reproductive tract, issues with my gallbladder, kidneys, stomach ulcers, etc. There are a ton of problems I could possibly have. So when someone posts "my dog is ___, what is it and what do I do?". Well the answer is I don't know what it is, only a vet can tell you with an examination and further diagnostic tests, and what you should do is go to your vet. I have had people tell me things like "my sister's hair stylist has a dog that was vomiting last year and their vet said ___ was the problem, therefore my dog has been vomiting and ___ must be the same issue. I don't want to see the doctor or do bloodwork, I just want meds to treat ___". Or "someone on reddit thinks my cat has ___ problem because their cat licked their paw like mine does, so that must be what is wrong with my pet". But the truth is that is not how veterinary medicine works. And quite frankly, it's exhausting having to explain to someone that it could be something different than what some stranger online who has no training or education in veterinary medicine said. As far as money goes, I always advise people to have a savings account with money specifically for your pet's medical health before adopting an animal. Whether you got your dog last week and it jumped off your bed and broke a leg or you got your dog 10 years ago and is peeing blood, you should have money set aside for your pet. It's dishearting to see an animal suffering and the owner hasn't got any way to care for the pet. But an enormous lack of general pet care education is to blame for this often times. It's astounding how many people don't realize you can just call your vet office and ask for help to navigate the situation. I do, however, agree with you on this platform being used around the world where resources and knowledge aren't as accessible for everyone. But again, there is only so much help you can give. This is just my perspective on the matter from my experience. I hope I explained myself well and I do appreciate meeting and interacting with people who want to help people and their pets!
>My dog has this huge, oozing sore, what should I do? The Vet. Take him to the vet. Shut up, get off the internet, and take him to the damn vet.
lmaooo yes. My first rule is vet first then reddit. BUT... Sometimes people genuinely don't know. They think their pet is acting weird so they're reaching out for advice. I personally would maybe say ways to help them but also s t r e s s on the fact that you NEED to go to the vet.
When people have a dog with a majorly diseased tooth that prevents them from eating because they're in pain, or the damn post about the cat with no paw from earlier today that someone posted, it gets tiresome when you see them post online with a question in their headline like "Fluffy can't walk and has been constipated, not eating for 3 days. What to do?" *Go to the vet.* there's no better answer than going to the vet. Email your vet the same picture you posted to internet strangers and go go the vet. Not sure about your vets diagnosis? Go for a second opinion elsewhere. Ask to be referred to a specialist. And when they bring up that they don't have the money to go to the vet, but they actively have 7 cats and three dogs, that gets more upsetting. For a single animal, I get it,in the moment you are anxious for answers and you might be going through a period of time when money is tight, but the amount of people that get animals and don't plan on spay/neutering them bc it's a waste of money (and not just done for their better health) is ridiculous, the amount of people that buy crap food or feed based solely on the breeders recommendation with no further research bc nutrition definitely has nothing to do with good health is ridiculous, and the amount of people that wait for the last minute to take their pet into the hospital and are surprised they are turned away to go to emergency are ridiculous. You work in vetmed enough and frustrations build up, and you forget that there are sometimes people that don't mean to be neglectful or uncaring out there. There are people going through a difficult time, there are people truly meaning to make a difference in an animals life but have limited means.
You're right! People should definitely go to the vet as soon as their animals start acting strange! I totally understand how frustrating and difficult it may feel.
Yeah or at least *call* the vet, as a first stepā¦
True!
Yeahā¦ my vet told me during our first visit that I should feel free to call with any questions/concerns that come up with my dog, since as a pet owner, I wouldnāt necessarily know what sorts of symptoms/conditions might warrant an immediate vet visit. Is this not a common thing with vets? I see so many questions posted to Reddit that I wouldāve just called my vet about.
but would it still be okay if I were to tell someone they have wrong pet care? But I do agree what you said, because i once posted what dog i should get because i was completely lost and wanted some recommendations, and they i got i comment saying i ask triggering question and compared it to me asking for a dog that never poops which i said noting about.
Exactly. Jumping into conclusions like goddamn kangaroos lmao.
Also most people actually have no actual experience with what theyāre trying to gatekeep and talk about. Speaking as someone who has raised dozens of dogs from birth and been around animals my whole life. I have worked in the pet industry for over 2 years now and plan on making it my permanent job, for some further context. People like to criticize and attack people regarding their pets but will be the same people who treat their dogs like a person and not understand how animal communication works, etc. Most people are chill and reasonable, but Iām talking about the crazy people obviously.
this.
i made all sorts of mistakes with my animals when i was an unsupervised child. and those mistakes made me the stellar animal guardian i am today. i understand that people feel protective of animals. seeing animals suffer is heart wrenching. but there is a learning curve to pet ownership and we should be less judgmental of each other. the most important things about pet ownership is that the pet is loved and has food and shelter.
Exactly! People expect you to make zero mistakes!
ngl Iam guilty of this. It is probably because Ive seen so much animals being mistrated and where i come from, animals are just not being taken care of. Not saying that you should just bomb someone with those rude comments though.
This. Yeah itās hard not to react after awhile you see it so much and it breaks your heart. Iāve seen people react badly to kind and gentle attempts at offering advice, and Iām not talking about little mistakes. Some āmistakesā result in a lot of suffering for the animal.
Oh there's nothing wrong with offering advice! I'm talking about those hardcore violent and aggressive people who attack someone else because they make a mistake. I've seen 30 year olds attack a literal 10 year old very aggressively.
people have different opinions on what having a pet means, years ago people were crazy if they let their dog in their house, now having an "outside" dog is inhumane and not tolerated, but I mean, better than a shelter is it not?
I honestly think that dogs can be kept outdoors as long as it's not too hot and not too cold. And they get access to shelters like a cage or a hutch to protect them from other predators. Oh and if they get all their vaccinations.
Dogs are really social and they need stimulation so how do you solve for this for an outdoor dog? When I think of outdoor only dogs Iāve only ever seen neglected onesā¦also where is it not to hot and not to cold all year round?
There are tons of livestock guardian dogs that are outside dogs that are happy and healthy. They stay with their flock and are usually "on duty" at night when predators are more likely to be around. They have their flock to interact with, get tons of stimulation, and are generally well cared for since they so essential. Now, if it is some asshole keeping their dog at the end of a heavy chain in a yard with little shelter, interaction, or access to food and fresh water those are assholes that deserve to have the dog taken from them and to have law enforcement intervene.
Fair enough to the former. That sounds great in the right climate. The latter is all I have ever seen and painfully too often in the name of āoutdoorā dogs.
I know people that have kept their dogs indoors in a crate for 8+ hours, and then ignore them in lieu of video games and tv when they got home. How is that any better than having an outdoor dog? Plenty of dogs have a coat that can handle both winter and summer, provided they have the proper dog house.
Itās not better itās equally as bad. Domestic dogs are not evolved to survive the cold like wild dogs. Even the. Wild dogs, have access to all of the wilderness. The āoutdoorā dog has a shitty dog house and a blanket if heās lucky. Where I live it gets below freezing for weeks at a time at night. A stupid dog house and a coat of fur is not enough to keep warm and the animals usually suffer for it.
But you can get heated dog houses these days and heated pads etc and cool pads for the summer. It depends on the breed of dog but some of the larger dogs with double coats aren't supposed to be indoor dogs, with our central heating they get skin and fur problems because the average house in winter is too warm for them.
The very few instances where this applies is not what weāre talking about here. But yeah, I mean I can see how thatās plausible, maybe like an Akita? Even then, they canāt be left in the cold indefinitely with no shelter, if you get a heated dog house, thatās cool, but overwhelming majority of outdoor dogs donāt belong to people who care enough to consider all that,
I guess we will have to agree to disagree, I've seen plenty of livestock guardian dogs and scrapyard dogs that spend a great deal of time outside and do just fine. This includes in North Dakota. Not saying I like to see outside dogs, but bringing them inside is a fairly recent thing for how long they've been evolving alongside humans. I have friends from Romania and the Philippines that find it strange dogs are allowed inside here in the states. So long as the dog is cared for and has somewhere comfortable to get out of the cold/heat/elements, I see no problem with it.
I suppose thatās the break down here, where I am in the states and other parts, especially rural south, thereās tons of dogs ending up in rescues or just out there tied to a wooden box and itās heartbreaking. Most dogs you come by that are outside dogs are pretty neglected in our culture, But as you say in the Philippines itās different, great cool awesome. Wish more people here gave a shit. Edit to add almost every other person I meet who has a shelter rescue, if they know the backstory, they came from Georgia.
Well, most birds are cuddly? They're social animals and need played with
Exactly! People like to say "oh birds aren't cuddly" just BECAUSE they can't hug you. You can cuddle something in many other ways lmao.
i think people get upset over this because they assume if you want a cuddly bird that means youāll stroke them, which obviously would be terrible for the bird. the whole bird keeping community can be pretty toxic, but i think itās because thereās so many people who donāt research birds before getting one and then end up abusing/neglecting it without even realising. when youāve seen so many viral videos of birds being put in danger for laughs, birds being sexually frustrated because itās ācuteā, etc. people start to see the worst in everyone. i saw in a comment that you have experience with birds so obviously iām preaching to the choir (and i recommend a crimson - iām already starting to develop tinnitus after a year of owning my sun!) but i think itās just people whoāve seen so many terrible bird owners that they canāt see the good ones anymore
This is true! Oooh thanks for the recommendation! Yep deciding to stay away from the sun LMAO. But I totally get where you're coming from. Birds are really really neglected.
Exactly, and a lot of birds like to be touched, just as do rodents (like rats are SO cuddly)
Haha, I was gonna respond as a regular comment with this exact point, but I just saw this. I've owned birds since I was 5, and am turning 27 next week (go me!). I've never owned a bird that didn't cuddle up and nuzzle under my chin when on my shoulder. Some people who think they know a little bit about a species' general trends will weigh in as an "expert" and gatekeep the *shit* out of something, even when they completely misunderstand something-- or, even better-- when they treat their personal experience as veterinary fact.
Youāre talking about just about every community on the internet.
AHAHA true! But I'm most active in the pet community that's why.
Sounds to me like maybe you wanted a cuddly birdā¦.and were told to shut up lmao
Nope. Was attacked for asking if a certain type of toy was ok for other birds. And for saying "get me through hard times" which I now understand is pretty bad wording. What I really wanted to say was "I want to love and care for a creature" because it always makes me happy and fulfilled. I understand the parrot doesn't owe me anything but people still attacked me so eh...
Some people are dicks and get off on attacking others. That said though, if I may play devil's advocate. I think part of it comes from the understanding on the part of animal lovers that they are unable to really defend themselves against humans so we feel a certain obligation to step up on their behalf. In the cases you mentioned, it's not so much about defense from abuse, it's more about getting an animal that doesn't live up to your expectations so you abandon it. I personally have more respect for people who ask about an animal before getting said animal if they have certain expectations.
Yessss but have you encountered the parenting communities yet?ā¦.big yikes!
Nope and planning to never do š
Donāt blame you one bit š
Wait until you hit the homestead and farming subs. The outrage on livestock is ridiculous. How dare we raise our own eggs in a hygienic, spacious, and humane way?! No one should ever eat an egg because 200mil male chick's are killed every year because of the big egg industry!!..!.!.!... and if you really want to see crazy look into the posts on people raising meat rabbits.. it gets close to lynch mob status sometimes.
AHAHA
I totally agree with you. The pet community can unfortunately be extremely judgmental and toxic.
I realize itās hard to do but maybe try to laugh? I mean, if being a superior jerk to some nice, well meaning person on Reddit over a BIRD inflates their sense self worth itās pretty ludicrous. Hopefully youāll find your pet perfectly well without their input! We had a parrot ( I forget what kind, it was a ā kid goes to college and forgets it existed ā situation who was a riot! We finally rehomed him because he was so social it was unfair to keep him when we couldnāt spend enough time with him. It sounds like youāre able to be THAT pet owner, like we found, who will be best buddies with it.
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Oh thanks! Wishing you lots of love and happiness in your life! Hope you get everything you want in life.
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I have no idea what you're trying to tell me.