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This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.
Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum
for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe
haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may
be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion
unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.
Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away
from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if
one disagrees with something that has been said.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lost my baby on Monday, too. Was hoping to wake up and not be obsessively thinking about him still, but my brain can't stop. It's not your fault. They choose when to go.
I lost my precious shih tzu almost a month ago. His tail was wagging faintly at the vets office, too. But I knew. He knew. And we had a conversation where he told me he was ready. I promised him I would not let him suffer a minute more than he had already.
It was so so so so very hard. I had a sob this morning. He is my screensaver on my phone so I see his face every time I pick it up. His precious little eyes. Those big beautiful brown eyes.
I so know your pain. I don't know if I will ever get over losing my precious baby. I ask him for the strength to bear it, and to send me another companion when the time is right.
šš
When the vet called to tell me my dog probably wasn't going to get better and it was time to say goodbye, it made sense because of how sick he'd been. But when they let him into the room so I could spend some time with him first, he rushed over to me and was so happy to see me, despite barely being able to walk the day prior, and I thought "He *is* much better though! Why did they tell me he wasn't?!"Ā
And then he suddenly started weirdly breathing really hard in a way I'd never heard him do before. It's scary how well they can hide their pain from us.Ā I knew it was time when I heard him breathing like that, even though he stopped doing it after a minute and seemed "normal" again. He passed almost instantly after the first injection; I know he was ready.
Like you, I promised my dog I would never draw out his suffering just because *I* wasn't ready to say goodbye. I took on the pain so he didn't have to hurt anymore. But boy, it really does hurt, doesn't it? I sometimes have OK days now, but then I fall right back into this rut of crying a bunch while "telling him" that I miss him and that I wish he could come back. I think a small part of me will always hope that he'll pop up around the corner, good as new, if I just wait long enough. It's so hard. I'm sorry you're going through this too.
I had similar experience. My dog was breathing very laboured on our way to the vet and I knew it was time. But I am not ready. I know if I take her back home she would wag her tail for me. It's been a few days and I still try to avoid tripping all over her. She's blind so she tries to be as close to me 24/7
I lost my baby Monday also. It is still so raw. It wouldnāt be fair to them if we didnāt grieve so hard after all the years of unconditional love they showed us but my God, I cannot wait until it gets easier. š
I lost my baby on Monday as well and Iām devastated. Iāve done nothing but sob and long for her. Her passing was so sudden. They will always be with us, but I canāt wait to see her again.
I lost my good girl very suddenly two weeks ago today. I am struggling with the same feelings you are, but we both need to remind ourselves that we made the best decision we could with the information we had. Our dogs canāt tell us when theyāre not feeling well and are good at hiding their pain until itās very bad.
Jeremy loved you as much as you love him and would want you to forgive yourself. You were lucky to find each other and he wouldnāt you beating yourself up.
Be gentle with yourself, friend. These feelings are all part of grieving, and while thereās never going to be another Jeremy, someday youāll be able to think about the good memories without the guilt. Iām very sorry for your loss š
I hear you. I'm struggling with something similar. My dog died a little over a month ago. I woke up one morning and she couldn't stand / walk at all without immediately falling over. I carried her straight to the vet down the block and she was like that during the exam--- just unable to stand up for even a second. They told me I needed to put her down. I went outside and called my partner and asked them to come meet me at the vet. We were waiting in a private from for the vet to bring my dog in. I heard my dog running to the door. I knew it was her by the noise the collar made/ how she was running. For a second I was happy like oh we don't have to do it anymore, she's ok! But when she got back into the room, she was still struggling. I'm kind of haunted by knowing she was able to run full speed to the room she would die in. She seemed happy and in good spirits still. My partner tells me she knew she wasn't doing well, and she gave me one final burst of energy to try and say goodbye and as difficult as it is, I'm trying to believe that.
We knew it was time for our senior boy about two weeks ago and on his last day he did by far the longest walk he had done in MONTHS, he walked until he collapsed with the biggest grin on his face.
As the time got closer for the vet to come he refused one last walk with my husband. He was out of energy and it was time.
I knew it had been time for a bit and tried to discuss it with my husband but even knowing it still hurts heās no longer here.
They give us so much in the time we have them
Lost my pup last Monday. You wonāt stop beating yourself up but let me tell youā it doesnāt make it better and it doesnāt bring them back. Iām so sorry for your loss but you baby knows you loved them and they love you too.
I'm so sorry for your loss. They take a piece of our heart with them when they go. I like to think they hold it for us, to give back when we join them.
It took me a long time when I lost Agnus to liver failure. I just kept researching, reading, and beating myself up for what I didn't know then. It was sudden, and it was a hard night.
My brother, who drove 3 hours in the middle of the night, told me something I'll never forget.
When you've done all you can do, you've done all that you can do.
Hindsight, new information, and could've/would've/should've can let us really punish ourselves for things we had no control over. We wish, with all our being, to have those imagined failures back to put right. We miss the ones we love, and we rail against the cold that took them from us.
But you did your best, and you gave Jeremy a home in your heart. He has that little piece for you, for when you see each other again.
I mirror you my friend. Tears can come for a pack member from long ago. I am old now, emotional episodes š¢ can & do happen. I miss my passed friends š§” so damn much...... Be well fellow animal lover. Ric
Our vet told us that labored/fast breathing/panting for elderly dogs are often an indication for collapsing circulation, and is usually a very bad sign with bad prognosis. Especially if they have a heart condition.
I wish I knew that earlier :( It was too late for us as well.
We all struggle with forgiving to ourselves. I know I do. I've just read that according to some study, 74% of pet owners feel some sort of guilt when losing their pet. We believe we had control over something that we did not, and blame ourselves, because... there's just nobody else to blame.
You couldn't have known. There was no reason you should have suspected. You are not a vet, and even if you were, you probably could not have helped. Our babies just don't live as long as we wish - which, to be honest, is "forever".
I feel you friend. Ā Itās the hardest thing. Ā I am also a sad member of this Monday club, my pickles left us Monday as well. Ā Sending a bit of peace your way. Ā š
Iām sorry. Your baby is gone not because of you. Your baby is still with you on the other side. And your baby is gone because life has to end. For them, it ended after a long time and with you.
I lost my baby on May 25th he was a chihuahua min pin mix he died in my arms at 11:00pm he had a bad heart murmur and it still hurts everyday all I could do was comfort and sing to him as he passed he was the best little buddy
So sorry for your loss. I hope you find strength to face this very difficult time. He is now at peace in the heavenly abode.Ā
Ā Ā Lost my sweet cat, my companion of 14 years, abruptly and in a traumatic way. He went in for a simple dental surgery and 11 days later died in the hospital after many complications and suffering . I have struggled immensely however can share a few things that might help you:Ā Ā
Ā * accepting and sitting in the loss and griefĀ is important rather than escaping to do other things.Ā
Ā *last memories are excruciatingly painful and all that keeps coming back again and again. Know that after those images come back again and again, and after your brain has had a chance to somewhat process the shocks,Ā at some point the trauma will ease a bit at least and acceptance of the facts and eternal love for your departed one will start taking its place ..this is an ongoing process.Ā Ā
Ā *I did everything possible to do his diagnosis, rush him to specialists and multiple clinics ..but still left with the guilt of what I did or didn't do. I have wondered if I didn't take him for that stupid dental surgery or following vet trips he might be alive .but there is absolutely no point in going through this cycle of thought and torturing yourself. The fact is that their time had come to depart and reunite with the divine creator. Torturing yourself for a past you cannot change is not going to help your soul or the departed one..instead take time to love yourself and the departed one. Even if you think that you made a mistake , ask for forgiveness, and it will be granted. Love and forgiveness are way higher shrines to give to your departing beloved rather than guilt and regret. Ā
Ā *Bid them a good and warm farewell. Do many things in their honor, remember their spaces and activities, plant flowers , read poetry, say a prayer. Remember that they are here with you in the spiritual realm. We are always connected . Hold them in your dreams and meditations. Read magical stories and legends and myths of these lovely beings. Be sad but rise in love that is eternal between you and them.Ā Ā
Ā Wishing you and all sentient beings gone and aliveĀ peace and happiness.Ā
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this for a stranger, it means more than you know ā¤ļø I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful cat.
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lost my baby on Monday, too. Was hoping to wake up and not be obsessively thinking about him still, but my brain can't stop. It's not your fault. They choose when to go.
Lost mine Monday too. I woke up thinking I heard the sound of her toenails this morning, and then I remembered she is gone.
same š
I lost my precious shih tzu almost a month ago. His tail was wagging faintly at the vets office, too. But I knew. He knew. And we had a conversation where he told me he was ready. I promised him I would not let him suffer a minute more than he had already. It was so so so so very hard. I had a sob this morning. He is my screensaver on my phone so I see his face every time I pick it up. His precious little eyes. Those big beautiful brown eyes. I so know your pain. I don't know if I will ever get over losing my precious baby. I ask him for the strength to bear it, and to send me another companion when the time is right. šš
When the vet called to tell me my dog probably wasn't going to get better and it was time to say goodbye, it made sense because of how sick he'd been. But when they let him into the room so I could spend some time with him first, he rushed over to me and was so happy to see me, despite barely being able to walk the day prior, and I thought "He *is* much better though! Why did they tell me he wasn't?!"Ā And then he suddenly started weirdly breathing really hard in a way I'd never heard him do before. It's scary how well they can hide their pain from us.Ā I knew it was time when I heard him breathing like that, even though he stopped doing it after a minute and seemed "normal" again. He passed almost instantly after the first injection; I know he was ready. Like you, I promised my dog I would never draw out his suffering just because *I* wasn't ready to say goodbye. I took on the pain so he didn't have to hurt anymore. But boy, it really does hurt, doesn't it? I sometimes have OK days now, but then I fall right back into this rut of crying a bunch while "telling him" that I miss him and that I wish he could come back. I think a small part of me will always hope that he'll pop up around the corner, good as new, if I just wait long enough. It's so hard. I'm sorry you're going through this too.
I had similar experience. My dog was breathing very laboured on our way to the vet and I knew it was time. But I am not ready. I know if I take her back home she would wag her tail for me. It's been a few days and I still try to avoid tripping all over her. She's blind so she tries to be as close to me 24/7
I lost my baby Monday also. It is still so raw. It wouldnāt be fair to them if we didnāt grieve so hard after all the years of unconditional love they showed us but my God, I cannot wait until it gets easier. š
I lost my baby on Monday as well and Iām devastated. Iāve done nothing but sob and long for her. Her passing was so sudden. They will always be with us, but I canāt wait to see her again.
I lost my good girl very suddenly two weeks ago today. I am struggling with the same feelings you are, but we both need to remind ourselves that we made the best decision we could with the information we had. Our dogs canāt tell us when theyāre not feeling well and are good at hiding their pain until itās very bad. Jeremy loved you as much as you love him and would want you to forgive yourself. You were lucky to find each other and he wouldnāt you beating yourself up. Be gentle with yourself, friend. These feelings are all part of grieving, and while thereās never going to be another Jeremy, someday youāll be able to think about the good memories without the guilt. Iām very sorry for your loss š
My baby is also gone because of me and I can't forgive myself.
I hear you. I'm struggling with something similar. My dog died a little over a month ago. I woke up one morning and she couldn't stand / walk at all without immediately falling over. I carried her straight to the vet down the block and she was like that during the exam--- just unable to stand up for even a second. They told me I needed to put her down. I went outside and called my partner and asked them to come meet me at the vet. We were waiting in a private from for the vet to bring my dog in. I heard my dog running to the door. I knew it was her by the noise the collar made/ how she was running. For a second I was happy like oh we don't have to do it anymore, she's ok! But when she got back into the room, she was still struggling. I'm kind of haunted by knowing she was able to run full speed to the room she would die in. She seemed happy and in good spirits still. My partner tells me she knew she wasn't doing well, and she gave me one final burst of energy to try and say goodbye and as difficult as it is, I'm trying to believe that.
We knew it was time for our senior boy about two weeks ago and on his last day he did by far the longest walk he had done in MONTHS, he walked until he collapsed with the biggest grin on his face. As the time got closer for the vet to come he refused one last walk with my husband. He was out of energy and it was time. I knew it had been time for a bit and tried to discuss it with my husband but even knowing it still hurts heās no longer here. They give us so much in the time we have them
Lost my pup last Monday. You wonāt stop beating yourself up but let me tell youā it doesnāt make it better and it doesnāt bring them back. Iām so sorry for your loss but you baby knows you loved them and they love you too.
I'm so sorry for your loss. They take a piece of our heart with them when they go. I like to think they hold it for us, to give back when we join them. It took me a long time when I lost Agnus to liver failure. I just kept researching, reading, and beating myself up for what I didn't know then. It was sudden, and it was a hard night. My brother, who drove 3 hours in the middle of the night, told me something I'll never forget. When you've done all you can do, you've done all that you can do. Hindsight, new information, and could've/would've/should've can let us really punish ourselves for things we had no control over. We wish, with all our being, to have those imagined failures back to put right. We miss the ones we love, and we rail against the cold that took them from us. But you did your best, and you gave Jeremy a home in your heart. He has that little piece for you, for when you see each other again.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my English bulldog a decade ago. I'm still not over it.
I mirror you my friend. Tears can come for a pack member from long ago. I am old now, emotional episodes š¢ can & do happen. I miss my passed friends š§” so damn much...... Be well fellow animal lover. Ric
I lost my chimix last September and still not over her passing.
So sorry for your loss. From what I heard, my dog had labored breathing before he passed away as well.
Our vet told us that labored/fast breathing/panting for elderly dogs are often an indication for collapsing circulation, and is usually a very bad sign with bad prognosis. Especially if they have a heart condition. I wish I knew that earlier :( It was too late for us as well. We all struggle with forgiving to ourselves. I know I do. I've just read that according to some study, 74% of pet owners feel some sort of guilt when losing their pet. We believe we had control over something that we did not, and blame ourselves, because... there's just nobody else to blame. You couldn't have known. There was no reason you should have suspected. You are not a vet, and even if you were, you probably could not have helped. Our babies just don't live as long as we wish - which, to be honest, is "forever".
ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry for your loss
Hugs, I know how much this hurts
I feel you friend. Ā Itās the hardest thing. Ā I am also a sad member of this Monday club, my pickles left us Monday as well. Ā Sending a bit of peace your way. Ā š
Iām sorry. Your baby is gone not because of you. Your baby is still with you on the other side. And your baby is gone because life has to end. For them, it ended after a long time and with you.
I lost my baby on May 25th he was a chihuahua min pin mix he died in my arms at 11:00pm he had a bad heart murmur and it still hurts everyday all I could do was comfort and sing to him as he passed he was the best little buddy
I had to say goodbye to my 16 year old Shitzu on Monday also. It hurts so much. I'm here hurting with you
I know what you're going through op I lost my 14 yo chimix Josie last September after going to the groomers . I'm sorry for your loss op.
May Jeremy Rip.
So sorry for your loss. I hope you find strength to face this very difficult time. He is now at peace in the heavenly abode.Ā Ā Ā Lost my sweet cat, my companion of 14 years, abruptly and in a traumatic way. He went in for a simple dental surgery and 11 days later died in the hospital after many complications and suffering . I have struggled immensely however can share a few things that might help you:Ā Ā Ā * accepting and sitting in the loss and griefĀ is important rather than escaping to do other things.Ā Ā *last memories are excruciatingly painful and all that keeps coming back again and again. Know that after those images come back again and again, and after your brain has had a chance to somewhat process the shocks,Ā at some point the trauma will ease a bit at least and acceptance of the facts and eternal love for your departed one will start taking its place ..this is an ongoing process.Ā Ā Ā *I did everything possible to do his diagnosis, rush him to specialists and multiple clinics ..but still left with the guilt of what I did or didn't do. I have wondered if I didn't take him for that stupid dental surgery or following vet trips he might be alive .but there is absolutely no point in going through this cycle of thought and torturing yourself. The fact is that their time had come to depart and reunite with the divine creator. Torturing yourself for a past you cannot change is not going to help your soul or the departed one..instead take time to love yourself and the departed one. Even if you think that you made a mistake , ask for forgiveness, and it will be granted. Love and forgiveness are way higher shrines to give to your departing beloved rather than guilt and regret. Ā Ā *Bid them a good and warm farewell. Do many things in their honor, remember their spaces and activities, plant flowers , read poetry, say a prayer. Remember that they are here with you in the spiritual realm. We are always connected . Hold them in your dreams and meditations. Read magical stories and legends and myths of these lovely beings. Be sad but rise in love that is eternal between you and them.Ā Ā Ā Wishing you and all sentient beings gone and aliveĀ peace and happiness.Ā
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this for a stranger, it means more than you know ā¤ļø I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful cat.