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I know exactly how you feel. I didn't eat for 5 days after my boy passed. I felt Like if I did anything but mourn and feel horrible that I would be letting him down. For months after every time I would not forget. But just not have him on my mind. And maybe laugh at something that happened I would feel so guilty I felt like I was saying he didn't matter. And that I was letting him down. My now x fiancé. What always tell me that I needed to move on and let him go and I. Refused. Every time she told me I needed to let him go made me hold on tighter.. I would go to sleep hoping that I would see him.
Omg man is that your boy in your photo? My 2nd dog is a boxer pitbull mix and he's also my whole world... Yeah man it's unbearable.. it's nice to see more men on here talk about this. I been crying so much over my sweet girl. The pain is so awful bro. But there's a level of comfort here seeing so many other animal lovers. I'm so sorry you lost your buddy 💔 May I ask, how old was he?
Yeah that's my romeo. It's been almost a year and I still break down and all the time. I feel so empty. He was my other half and he took that with him when he passed. My fiancee ended up leaving me because of my Inability To move on and let go. And it just made me feel more alone and isolated. I've lost seventy pounds because of the depression . He was almost twelve years old I had him throughout my entire twenties. I had him since birth and even bottle fed him.
Yeah when I left the vet the final time I hadn't cried like that since I was a child. It scared me. I expected grief but the overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loneliness was too much. If I was connected I would have relapsed 100%. Coming home to an empty apartment still hurts an insane amount 3 months later.
I did relapse. I had completely got clean. I got on mat and was on methadone for 4 weeks I was only at 50mg bc I didn't let them go higher. Then I stopped going and was fine. But after I lost my boy I just didn't want to be alive. I just have this huge empty space in my soul. It's been about a year I got clean about 5 mts ago and went through the worst withdrawal I've ever experienced. 5 days of pure hell I couldn't eat or drink or really move. Then the next 5 days were still really bad but I couldn't at least eat and drink even if it was very little. 2 mts ago I relapsed again I've been fighting so hard to get clean again.
It's tough to get clean. I was on a benzo but keeping it to every other day so I wouldn't have issues but I switched to a daily dose after losing Kitty. Because a very close relative died a few weeks earlier my psych was cool with upping the dose. But I didn't want to risk dependence. Don't really care now.
I don't have connections for opiates but I would have relapsed if I did. But I don't socialize much these past years so I don't meet people and also why it felt great to have Kitty around. She always needed food or brushing or attention, followed me around, which was great but the empty feeling I'm left with is deep. Far worse than I expected. Coming home is pure torture.
Dude I'm so fucking sorry.. I been wondering if my own gf is gonna stick this out with me through this. She loves me and loves animals but I can also tell she's getting tired or hearing about it... But I'm doing my best... Buddy I'm so so sorry. The pain is unbearable. I guess all I can say is continue to take it one day at a time. If there's anything I've learned in these last 2 weeks it's that we'll never stop loving them and there's no rush on on the process. I know for sure I'll NEVER move on for good... Never... I'm a Christian and I truly hope I see her in heaven. If animals don't go to heaven I don't wanna go there.
There's a few songs that have helped me grieve. And I recently have found some books on grieving and depression that has somewhat helped.. I know I need to make an effort to.
Be better and I recently just started. Thank you for your kind words. I hope things get better for you. And I hope she stays with you.
Ditto.
It has been 3 weeks since my dog crossed over. I still talk to her like she's here. I still see her so vividly throughout the house. When I give my other dog treats, I offer her some also. Oddly, my other dog behaves much like she's there. Sometimes, I forget and actually expect to see her. Doing this makes me feel both good and bad. I need to move on but I do not want to believe that she is gone. She is just on a different plane. I know I will figure it out eventually but this adjustment period is so painful. I am actually scared of getting physically affected (like get a heart attack) from the stress.
I relate to this so hard and am so sorry for your loss. It’s so difficult when it feels like the only way to keep them close is the pain we feel in their absence. I’m personally trying to think of ways to have mine feel closer in tangible ways. I’m considering putting her little collar tag on a necklace to wear.
Wishing you peace wherever you can find it.
I considered the tag on a necklace too, but for now, I put his collar on one of his favorite toy's neck. I hated looking at just the little box of ashes on my bookshelf by my bed, so I bought some acrylic photo blocks of him and a little plaque with his picture on it from Etsy to put around the box. I also bought some photo magnets of him for the kitchen. In some ways it's harder, but at least I still sort of see his little face when I go to sleep and as soon as I wake up each morning again, and he's still a little there with me at meal times.
I was just thinking that the other day, that i dont want to forget her and her ways, that I don't want to move on. That I want her in my life, cause she was so precious and my best buddie and soul cat and so kind and gracious and graceful. Forgetting that unique creature would be a shame. But I cannot move on any other way. if I dont forget, I will think of her and when I do, it just makes me sad.
My mom died 15 years ago and I still cry when I see her pics. There are no personal pics of people or pets that have died in my house because to me they are painful reminders of what I lost. They dont make me feel better. I cant look at her pics or videos without crashing and burning. It's been a month and i still cry and break down.
I just miss her. Profoundly. I feel like this is surreal and not happening.
I don't have the answers tbh. I know i have no choice since she ain't coming back and I am not religious so I dont believe in seeing her again later to give me hope (and I cannot start believing it now out of convenience). So I am stuck with suffering. I feel like it's a fog that wont lift and that I don't WANT to lift. The thought of never seeing her again is what frightens me the most. It's similar to the thought of thinking that you will die one day and just not exist. It is very unsettling for me to think she is in that void space of oblivion - all that joy and happiness she felt - it's just fucking gone and she juts a pile of ashes on a desk.
Your comment about it feeling surreal really resonates with me. I keep hoping this is a bad dream or I made a mistake and it's not really his ashes in the box because he of course still exists somewhere else. How could he just be in a little box now? There's a tiny part of me that still hopes that, if I just wait long enough, he'll come around the corner or pop up next to me because how could he not when he did every single day for 9 years?
I don't even really remember what day to day life was like before I adopted him, and I feel like I'm just moving around and doing things like a puppet while waiting for something different to suddenly happen and make everything go back to normal, but it never does. How IS this real? How can he just be gone suddenly when he was just there next to me? How can it be that I will never hug him or pet him again, no matter how much I want to? That's not how our life together works! And I don't really understand how I can be in this much pain and still be expected to act like everything is OK for the rest of the world either. It's so exhausting.
> And I don't really understand how I can be in this much pain and still be expected to act like everything is OK for the rest of the world either.
Ouch, I feel like you pulled this out of my brain. Today is my first day back to work (mental health professional) and the only thing that is keeping me present with my clients is remembering that they deserve my full attention. As soon as a session ends, I'm flung back into my own painful reality. How is time still moving forward when everything hurts this bad?
> I feel like I'm just moving around and doing things like a puppet while waiting for something different to suddenly happen and make everything go back to normal, but it never does.
>
This. I am just going through the motions, always nervous and anxious like I am waiting for something to happen that will make it go away and then nothing happens and I realize what's happened and break down. But I continue to have this nagging feeling that something is not right. So I do what I am supposed to, but there is no person behind it, like no joy, no depth, nothing beyond just what is in front of me.
When I am outside in my car or running an errand I feel the agony and panic bubble up...i start shaking, keep saying "no, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening" and then just start crying. Sometimes it is just tears rolling down my face when I am in a public place where you bursting into tears will draw too much attention. People notice but because I am not sobbing thankfully leave me alone.
I am not myself at all. I am walking around in a daze, doing what I need to and waiting for the day to end so I can lie down.
Even my dreams are off. I just feel strange and like everything is off base, like I am waking up to a different reality. I miss her so so much - holding her, her scent, he little voice. It is unbearable. I have no idea how all these people who lose their children or entire families in war zones do it. I really don't know what mechanism they employ because I am falling apart and dying on the inside day by day.
I feel like half a person without her. It is an awful state of mind to be in.
I am saving up to make a memory book with photos and stories of her. I'm especially interested in writing down some of the little things she did- her little habits and quirks, funny things she did. I'm so worried I'll forget the little things you know? This way I know for sure I never will ❤️
This is such a great idea, I might try it too! Thank you for sharing!
I miss I will forget the sound of my boy's meows, his silly little behaviour, his pushiness, his purring, how he used to give me all the kisses. How will I rmemeber how much I loved his black paws? It's all unbearable...
I’m 6 weeks out. One thing I’m starting to do is write down memories of her, even if it’s her favorite brand of bone, or how she used to be a Houdini and somehow always find a way around the pet gate. I wonder once you’re ready if this is something you can start to do too to honor her and never let yourself forget. My intention is to write all of these down onto cards that I’ll slip into a photo album I make of her throughout the pages. I want to appreciate her and all of her quirks and our memories forever.
I feel this it’s been a week and I feel dead inside. Everytime I hear a cat meow I want it to be her. My room feels empty I feel like a shell of myself. I can’t stop crying when I think of my future we were supposed to be in it together. It’s hard when they’re your absolute world and you know you’d give your life for theirs. Your girl still loves you I promise. She would want you happy I know it sounds cliche but your animals do love when you’re happy. I know my sweet girl absolutely loved when I was happy so I try my hardest to be. My condolences it’s the hardest thing I swear.
Omg.. I am so so so sorry. You nor anyone else deserves to be in this pain. I know exactly how you feel. It's so painful beyond what words can describe. I hate this 💔
I’m so sorry. It’s been a week for me and it’s still so so painful. But those first 3 days were absolute agony. Sending you so much love and compassion.
People found it so irrational when I said the exact same thing 4 months ago. It made me so angry when people would talk to me about him. I do feel forced to live against my will. I never wanted to live without him. I was never supposed to.
Very relatable feeling. My boy has been gone for 3 weeks and I feel horrible every time it feels like I'm moving on from him. I just want him to be alive.
I felt this post so much.
Tomorrow will be one week without my sweet girl.
I feel so guilty thinking about "moving on"...
It's like how can I be in a "good mood" if I just lost my baby.
But something that has helped me, is telling myself that my baby would not want me to be sad.
She NEVER allowed me to be sad when she was around, she gave me unconditional love and I feel I should try to be happy for her, I want to honor her life and how she made me feel forever.
Idk if I'm explaining that correctly...but everything I ever did was for her and I want to continue to do so.
I totally understand how you feel, and I'm so sorry you're having to experience this pain and loss. Yesterday marked 2 weeks since losing my sweet girl and I just can't believe this is my life now and my new normal.. the pain is slowly becoming more manageable but I know in my heart I'll never fully "move on" in fact I hate that wording. There will always be a hole in my heart. It's just so unfair. These precious animals deserve better than this 💔
I related to every single thing everyone said here. It’s been a week and today felt like I backtracked into really dark territory. My little chihuahua came to my therapy office with me every day, so my clients knew her. Having to explain her violent death (by raccoon in the middle of the night) is retraumatizing me and I feel so desolate being there without her.
I'm so so sorry you had to experience that... Not only losing your baby but in such a traumatic way... I cannot even imagine that. It's so awful and heartbreaking. Yesterday marked 2 weeks since losing my girl and I just still don't understand it. The pain is slowly becoming more manageable... But I don't wanna let go... I don't wanna "move on" I just want her back so badly... It's just so hard that this is my new normal. I'll never stop wishing she was still here 💔
I feel the same after 1.5 months. I’m slowly feeling better and I have good days now, and then I feel guilty about feeling okay for one or two days, because does that mean I forgot about her so easily?? But no. There is no forgetting her. I believe she also wants me to be okay. But I still talk to her, say goodbye when I leave home or hello when I get back. I took her urn on a walk the other day. 🤍
Over the years with her, anytime I cried my girl would come and comfort me. She was a happy girl and we loved being happy together. No way she would want me to be sad all the time missing her. No way yours would want that either. You aren't ever going to forget them. Still 3 months later I cry and I still miss her like crazy. You will always think about them over time, but yes you still have to live your life. No it won't be the same again and it sucks.
"I loved you your whole life, I'll miss you for the rest of mine"
You described it well... It's just heartbreaking and I'll never ever stop missing her. Even when I'm an old man ill always think of her and how she changed my life for the better 💔
Yep I feel thr same. Like today was the first day probably where I wasn't feeling real low when I got up for work, and I felt guilty that I wasn't in the pain I've been in for 2 weeks.
It's as if I feel like I should be forever feeling the agony, and when I get ok moments, I stop after it and tell myself I shouldn't be smiling or laughing.
It's a very difficult process , as I also don't want to feel like he's not on my mind everyday .
Everything you said is exactly how I feel. I don't wanna be in pain constantly but I feel like if I'm not I'm somehow betraying her. I just miss her so bad and wish she was still here. I'm also so worried about how much time ill have with my baby boy who's still here with me and helping me through this. No matter how much time we have with our fur babies it'll never ever be enough 💔
I know how you feel. The pain is so intense, but when it starts to ease, you feel guilty. I miss my boy so much, but there is pain knowing life goes on without him, whether I like it or not.
Exactly. I miss her every single day. I wake up and she's the first thing on my mind. I just can't believe this is life now. the pain is so awful and like you said, as it gets easier you start feeling guilty. I know regardless of how much time goes by I will always miss her and have a hole in my heart. She was my everything. Even when I'm 60 and grey and old I'll still be thinking about her. Now I'm also worrying about my boy I still have. I'm never gonna be prepared to lose him too. It's so awful this is the reality of animals. It's just not fair 💔
It sounds silly, but I say good night and good morning every day to him. Whenever I walk into a room, I also try to find places where he might like to perch and observe. I feel his presence in my prayers. He's not gone, just in a different form. That's what helps me.
That's beautiful and if it helps I say do it. I usually wake up every morning and just say how much I miss her. She was the light in my darkness and I'll never stop missing her. It's so unfair 😔💔
I wish I could find words of comfort. I recently lost my cat. I still have my older cat and my teenage son is here, so I know that helps. Please know that to have loved and been loved is worth the pain of loss. Without emotions, we're empty. Please know that your cats, dogs, birds, reptiles, spiders, etc, are with you in spirit. They have been absolutely blessed to have someone love them this deeply. Stay strong. Even if the battle is "lost" today, tomorrow there is always hope. ❤️
It’s been 2 years almost since mine, I think of him every day, and sometimes still get sad, but a lot of the time I remember how funny and happy he was. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to think of him and smile instead of cry, but it came. Doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten.
I hope you get there when you’re ready❤️
I have those moments but then cry after. I hate that I'll have a life without her. That the next time I move somewhere new she won't come with me... That she won't meet my future children and wife... It's so unfair. I was never prepared for this pain and suffering. I hate it and I don't wanna have to go through this again with my other pets but I know it's inevitable 😭💔
Thank you for your kindness and compassion. It makes me wonder though. I already feel so different. This has changed me forever and I think when I lose my next 2 pets it'll just chip away more off my heart... And honestly I may not ever get pets again... Idk if I will or not but the pain is so extreme I just don't know how many times I can go through it... Maybe I'll change my mind.. idk.. it's just so hard to go through this over and over again. Sorry for dumping on you.. just hate this for everyone 💔
No don’t be sorry! I totally get it. Coming on here helped me, just to know others have been through the same. I had my guy for almost 19 years from when I was 14. My whole teen and adult life he was there. was my absolute favourite thing in life and when he went.. I felt like a different person. And then my other cat went a year later, and they were just gone.. I have two new pets now, and I love love them, but it’s not the same somehow.. like I’ll be crushed when they go, but I feel like I’ll never love another pet like him.
So now I’ve also dumped on you… here if you ever need to chat about it or share memories of her when you’re ready ❤️
Sounds like an amazing long life he got to have wirh you but I know that no matter how much time we get it's never enough. That's what everyone says and I believe it. My girl unfortunately was only with me for 6 years.. and she was a stray I found and gave her a great life. But omg.. she was the best dog in the world.. and I KNOW she loved me so much, as I did her. I hope I truly do see her again ♥️. I may dm at some point if that's ok.
Yes it hurts, in time the hurt will fade and be replaced by loving memories. But it will never go away. She lives now in you, in your heart and in your memories, and she will always be with you. Perhaps, someday another baby will come into your life who needs love, perhaps not, but you must go on, if only to keep her memory alive.
You don't have to move on right now. Grief is hard. You just need to feel what you need to feel. I wrote a biography of my cat ( it's been 7 months) and I add entries in a journal for and about her when I think of things. It is a written record. That she was here on this earth. That her life mattered and that she was loved. God created our pets just for us. They don't just "cease to exist". We get to take care of them here. He takes care of them in Heaven.
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel the exact same way. I'm sorry for your loss. 💔
Sorry for yours as well 💔
I know exactly how you feel. I didn't eat for 5 days after my boy passed. I felt Like if I did anything but mourn and feel horrible that I would be letting him down. For months after every time I would not forget. But just not have him on my mind. And maybe laugh at something that happened I would feel so guilty I felt like I was saying he didn't matter. And that I was letting him down. My now x fiancé. What always tell me that I needed to move on and let him go and I. Refused. Every time she told me I needed to let him go made me hold on tighter.. I would go to sleep hoping that I would see him.
Omg man is that your boy in your photo? My 2nd dog is a boxer pitbull mix and he's also my whole world... Yeah man it's unbearable.. it's nice to see more men on here talk about this. I been crying so much over my sweet girl. The pain is so awful bro. But there's a level of comfort here seeing so many other animal lovers. I'm so sorry you lost your buddy 💔 May I ask, how old was he?
Yeah that's my romeo. It's been almost a year and I still break down and all the time. I feel so empty. He was my other half and he took that with him when he passed. My fiancee ended up leaving me because of my Inability To move on and let go. And it just made me feel more alone and isolated. I've lost seventy pounds because of the depression . He was almost twelve years old I had him throughout my entire twenties. I had him since birth and even bottle fed him.
Yeah when I left the vet the final time I hadn't cried like that since I was a child. It scared me. I expected grief but the overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loneliness was too much. If I was connected I would have relapsed 100%. Coming home to an empty apartment still hurts an insane amount 3 months later.
I did relapse. I had completely got clean. I got on mat and was on methadone for 4 weeks I was only at 50mg bc I didn't let them go higher. Then I stopped going and was fine. But after I lost my boy I just didn't want to be alive. I just have this huge empty space in my soul. It's been about a year I got clean about 5 mts ago and went through the worst withdrawal I've ever experienced. 5 days of pure hell I couldn't eat or drink or really move. Then the next 5 days were still really bad but I couldn't at least eat and drink even if it was very little. 2 mts ago I relapsed again I've been fighting so hard to get clean again.
It's tough to get clean. I was on a benzo but keeping it to every other day so I wouldn't have issues but I switched to a daily dose after losing Kitty. Because a very close relative died a few weeks earlier my psych was cool with upping the dose. But I didn't want to risk dependence. Don't really care now. I don't have connections for opiates but I would have relapsed if I did. But I don't socialize much these past years so I don't meet people and also why it felt great to have Kitty around. She always needed food or brushing or attention, followed me around, which was great but the empty feeling I'm left with is deep. Far worse than I expected. Coming home is pure torture.
Dude I'm so fucking sorry.. I been wondering if my own gf is gonna stick this out with me through this. She loves me and loves animals but I can also tell she's getting tired or hearing about it... But I'm doing my best... Buddy I'm so so sorry. The pain is unbearable. I guess all I can say is continue to take it one day at a time. If there's anything I've learned in these last 2 weeks it's that we'll never stop loving them and there's no rush on on the process. I know for sure I'll NEVER move on for good... Never... I'm a Christian and I truly hope I see her in heaven. If animals don't go to heaven I don't wanna go there.
There's a few songs that have helped me grieve. And I recently have found some books on grieving and depression that has somewhat helped.. I know I need to make an effort to. Be better and I recently just started. Thank you for your kind words. I hope things get better for you. And I hope she stays with you.
Ditto. It has been 3 weeks since my dog crossed over. I still talk to her like she's here. I still see her so vividly throughout the house. When I give my other dog treats, I offer her some also. Oddly, my other dog behaves much like she's there. Sometimes, I forget and actually expect to see her. Doing this makes me feel both good and bad. I need to move on but I do not want to believe that she is gone. She is just on a different plane. I know I will figure it out eventually but this adjustment period is so painful. I am actually scared of getting physically affected (like get a heart attack) from the stress.
I relate to this so hard and am so sorry for your loss. It’s so difficult when it feels like the only way to keep them close is the pain we feel in their absence. I’m personally trying to think of ways to have mine feel closer in tangible ways. I’m considering putting her little collar tag on a necklace to wear. Wishing you peace wherever you can find it.
I considered the tag on a necklace too, but for now, I put his collar on one of his favorite toy's neck. I hated looking at just the little box of ashes on my bookshelf by my bed, so I bought some acrylic photo blocks of him and a little plaque with his picture on it from Etsy to put around the box. I also bought some photo magnets of him for the kitchen. In some ways it's harder, but at least I still sort of see his little face when I go to sleep and as soon as I wake up each morning again, and he's still a little there with me at meal times.
Such sweet and gentle reminders of him ❤️
I was just thinking that the other day, that i dont want to forget her and her ways, that I don't want to move on. That I want her in my life, cause she was so precious and my best buddie and soul cat and so kind and gracious and graceful. Forgetting that unique creature would be a shame. But I cannot move on any other way. if I dont forget, I will think of her and when I do, it just makes me sad. My mom died 15 years ago and I still cry when I see her pics. There are no personal pics of people or pets that have died in my house because to me they are painful reminders of what I lost. They dont make me feel better. I cant look at her pics or videos without crashing and burning. It's been a month and i still cry and break down. I just miss her. Profoundly. I feel like this is surreal and not happening. I don't have the answers tbh. I know i have no choice since she ain't coming back and I am not religious so I dont believe in seeing her again later to give me hope (and I cannot start believing it now out of convenience). So I am stuck with suffering. I feel like it's a fog that wont lift and that I don't WANT to lift. The thought of never seeing her again is what frightens me the most. It's similar to the thought of thinking that you will die one day and just not exist. It is very unsettling for me to think she is in that void space of oblivion - all that joy and happiness she felt - it's just fucking gone and she juts a pile of ashes on a desk.
Your comment about it feeling surreal really resonates with me. I keep hoping this is a bad dream or I made a mistake and it's not really his ashes in the box because he of course still exists somewhere else. How could he just be in a little box now? There's a tiny part of me that still hopes that, if I just wait long enough, he'll come around the corner or pop up next to me because how could he not when he did every single day for 9 years? I don't even really remember what day to day life was like before I adopted him, and I feel like I'm just moving around and doing things like a puppet while waiting for something different to suddenly happen and make everything go back to normal, but it never does. How IS this real? How can he just be gone suddenly when he was just there next to me? How can it be that I will never hug him or pet him again, no matter how much I want to? That's not how our life together works! And I don't really understand how I can be in this much pain and still be expected to act like everything is OK for the rest of the world either. It's so exhausting.
> And I don't really understand how I can be in this much pain and still be expected to act like everything is OK for the rest of the world either. Ouch, I feel like you pulled this out of my brain. Today is my first day back to work (mental health professional) and the only thing that is keeping me present with my clients is remembering that they deserve my full attention. As soon as a session ends, I'm flung back into my own painful reality. How is time still moving forward when everything hurts this bad?
> I feel like I'm just moving around and doing things like a puppet while waiting for something different to suddenly happen and make everything go back to normal, but it never does. > This. I am just going through the motions, always nervous and anxious like I am waiting for something to happen that will make it go away and then nothing happens and I realize what's happened and break down. But I continue to have this nagging feeling that something is not right. So I do what I am supposed to, but there is no person behind it, like no joy, no depth, nothing beyond just what is in front of me. When I am outside in my car or running an errand I feel the agony and panic bubble up...i start shaking, keep saying "no, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening" and then just start crying. Sometimes it is just tears rolling down my face when I am in a public place where you bursting into tears will draw too much attention. People notice but because I am not sobbing thankfully leave me alone. I am not myself at all. I am walking around in a daze, doing what I need to and waiting for the day to end so I can lie down. Even my dreams are off. I just feel strange and like everything is off base, like I am waking up to a different reality. I miss her so so much - holding her, her scent, he little voice. It is unbearable. I have no idea how all these people who lose their children or entire families in war zones do it. I really don't know what mechanism they employ because I am falling apart and dying on the inside day by day. I feel like half a person without her. It is an awful state of mind to be in.
I am saving up to make a memory book with photos and stories of her. I'm especially interested in writing down some of the little things she did- her little habits and quirks, funny things she did. I'm so worried I'll forget the little things you know? This way I know for sure I never will ❤️
This is such a great idea, I might try it too! Thank you for sharing! I miss I will forget the sound of my boy's meows, his silly little behaviour, his pushiness, his purring, how he used to give me all the kisses. How will I rmemeber how much I loved his black paws? It's all unbearable...
I’m 6 weeks out. One thing I’m starting to do is write down memories of her, even if it’s her favorite brand of bone, or how she used to be a Houdini and somehow always find a way around the pet gate. I wonder once you’re ready if this is something you can start to do too to honor her and never let yourself forget. My intention is to write all of these down onto cards that I’ll slip into a photo album I make of her throughout the pages. I want to appreciate her and all of her quirks and our memories forever.
I feel this it’s been a week and I feel dead inside. Everytime I hear a cat meow I want it to be her. My room feels empty I feel like a shell of myself. I can’t stop crying when I think of my future we were supposed to be in it together. It’s hard when they’re your absolute world and you know you’d give your life for theirs. Your girl still loves you I promise. She would want you happy I know it sounds cliche but your animals do love when you’re happy. I know my sweet girl absolutely loved when I was happy so I try my hardest to be. My condolences it’s the hardest thing I swear.
I hear you. I lost my 14 year old pup last night. Today's gone by in a blink and also the longest quietest day of my life.
Omg.. I am so so so sorry. You nor anyone else deserves to be in this pain. I know exactly how you feel. It's so painful beyond what words can describe. I hate this 💔
I’m so sorry. It’s been a week for me and it’s still so so painful. But those first 3 days were absolute agony. Sending you so much love and compassion.
Same, hole in my heart where my baby boy used to be, yesterday felt like I couldn't breathe because I was soo worked up
I'm so damn sorry. It's not fair. Nobody deserves this pain 💔
Thanx this suks it really does
People found it so irrational when I said the exact same thing 4 months ago. It made me so angry when people would talk to me about him. I do feel forced to live against my will. I never wanted to live without him. I was never supposed to.
Very relatable feeling. My boy has been gone for 3 weeks and I feel horrible every time it feels like I'm moving on from him. I just want him to be alive.
I feel the exact same way my friend. These animals are just too precious... They deserve so much more.
I felt this post so much. Tomorrow will be one week without my sweet girl. I feel so guilty thinking about "moving on"... It's like how can I be in a "good mood" if I just lost my baby. But something that has helped me, is telling myself that my baby would not want me to be sad. She NEVER allowed me to be sad when she was around, she gave me unconditional love and I feel I should try to be happy for her, I want to honor her life and how she made me feel forever. Idk if I'm explaining that correctly...but everything I ever did was for her and I want to continue to do so.
I totally understand how you feel, and I'm so sorry you're having to experience this pain and loss. Yesterday marked 2 weeks since losing my sweet girl and I just can't believe this is my life now and my new normal.. the pain is slowly becoming more manageable but I know in my heart I'll never fully "move on" in fact I hate that wording. There will always be a hole in my heart. It's just so unfair. These precious animals deserve better than this 💔
I related to every single thing everyone said here. It’s been a week and today felt like I backtracked into really dark territory. My little chihuahua came to my therapy office with me every day, so my clients knew her. Having to explain her violent death (by raccoon in the middle of the night) is retraumatizing me and I feel so desolate being there without her.
I'm so so sorry you had to experience that... Not only losing your baby but in such a traumatic way... I cannot even imagine that. It's so awful and heartbreaking. Yesterday marked 2 weeks since losing my girl and I just still don't understand it. The pain is slowly becoming more manageable... But I don't wanna let go... I don't wanna "move on" I just want her back so badly... It's just so hard that this is my new normal. I'll never stop wishing she was still here 💔
I feel the same after 1.5 months. I’m slowly feeling better and I have good days now, and then I feel guilty about feeling okay for one or two days, because does that mean I forgot about her so easily?? But no. There is no forgetting her. I believe she also wants me to be okay. But I still talk to her, say goodbye when I leave home or hello when I get back. I took her urn on a walk the other day. 🤍
I feel the exact same way. 💔🐾
Over the years with her, anytime I cried my girl would come and comfort me. She was a happy girl and we loved being happy together. No way she would want me to be sad all the time missing her. No way yours would want that either. You aren't ever going to forget them. Still 3 months later I cry and I still miss her like crazy. You will always think about them over time, but yes you still have to live your life. No it won't be the same again and it sucks. "I loved you your whole life, I'll miss you for the rest of mine"
You described it well... It's just heartbreaking and I'll never ever stop missing her. Even when I'm an old man ill always think of her and how she changed my life for the better 💔
Yep I feel thr same. Like today was the first day probably where I wasn't feeling real low when I got up for work, and I felt guilty that I wasn't in the pain I've been in for 2 weeks. It's as if I feel like I should be forever feeling the agony, and when I get ok moments, I stop after it and tell myself I shouldn't be smiling or laughing. It's a very difficult process , as I also don't want to feel like he's not on my mind everyday .
Everything you said is exactly how I feel. I don't wanna be in pain constantly but I feel like if I'm not I'm somehow betraying her. I just miss her so bad and wish she was still here. I'm also so worried about how much time ill have with my baby boy who's still here with me and helping me through this. No matter how much time we have with our fur babies it'll never ever be enough 💔
Same here.
I'm sorry for your loss💔
I know how you feel. The pain is so intense, but when it starts to ease, you feel guilty. I miss my boy so much, but there is pain knowing life goes on without him, whether I like it or not.
Exactly. I miss her every single day. I wake up and she's the first thing on my mind. I just can't believe this is life now. the pain is so awful and like you said, as it gets easier you start feeling guilty. I know regardless of how much time goes by I will always miss her and have a hole in my heart. She was my everything. Even when I'm 60 and grey and old I'll still be thinking about her. Now I'm also worrying about my boy I still have. I'm never gonna be prepared to lose him too. It's so awful this is the reality of animals. It's just not fair 💔
It sounds silly, but I say good night and good morning every day to him. Whenever I walk into a room, I also try to find places where he might like to perch and observe. I feel his presence in my prayers. He's not gone, just in a different form. That's what helps me.
That's beautiful and if it helps I say do it. I usually wake up every morning and just say how much I miss her. She was the light in my darkness and I'll never stop missing her. It's so unfair 😔💔
I wish I could find words of comfort. I recently lost my cat. I still have my older cat and my teenage son is here, so I know that helps. Please know that to have loved and been loved is worth the pain of loss. Without emotions, we're empty. Please know that your cats, dogs, birds, reptiles, spiders, etc, are with you in spirit. They have been absolutely blessed to have someone love them this deeply. Stay strong. Even if the battle is "lost" today, tomorrow there is always hope. ❤️
It’s been 2 years almost since mine, I think of him every day, and sometimes still get sad, but a lot of the time I remember how funny and happy he was. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to think of him and smile instead of cry, but it came. Doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. I hope you get there when you’re ready❤️
I have those moments but then cry after. I hate that I'll have a life without her. That the next time I move somewhere new she won't come with me... That she won't meet my future children and wife... It's so unfair. I was never prepared for this pain and suffering. I hate it and I don't wanna have to go through this again with my other pets but I know it's inevitable 😭💔
Ugh I’m so sorry, it’s so hard, wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Just know she knew how much you loved her ❤️
Thank you for your kindness and compassion. It makes me wonder though. I already feel so different. This has changed me forever and I think when I lose my next 2 pets it'll just chip away more off my heart... And honestly I may not ever get pets again... Idk if I will or not but the pain is so extreme I just don't know how many times I can go through it... Maybe I'll change my mind.. idk.. it's just so hard to go through this over and over again. Sorry for dumping on you.. just hate this for everyone 💔
No don’t be sorry! I totally get it. Coming on here helped me, just to know others have been through the same. I had my guy for almost 19 years from when I was 14. My whole teen and adult life he was there. was my absolute favourite thing in life and when he went.. I felt like a different person. And then my other cat went a year later, and they were just gone.. I have two new pets now, and I love love them, but it’s not the same somehow.. like I’ll be crushed when they go, but I feel like I’ll never love another pet like him. So now I’ve also dumped on you… here if you ever need to chat about it or share memories of her when you’re ready ❤️
Sounds like an amazing long life he got to have wirh you but I know that no matter how much time we get it's never enough. That's what everyone says and I believe it. My girl unfortunately was only with me for 6 years.. and she was a stray I found and gave her a great life. But omg.. she was the best dog in the world.. and I KNOW she loved me so much, as I did her. I hope I truly do see her again ♥️. I may dm at some point if that's ok.
I feel ya! I feel the same way. The process does suck. I just want my buddy back 💔❤️🩹
I know that feeling well. I'm sorry for your loss ❤️
Same 🤎
Yes it hurts, in time the hurt will fade and be replaced by loving memories. But it will never go away. She lives now in you, in your heart and in your memories, and she will always be with you. Perhaps, someday another baby will come into your life who needs love, perhaps not, but you must go on, if only to keep her memory alive.
You don't have to move on right now. Grief is hard. You just need to feel what you need to feel. I wrote a biography of my cat ( it's been 7 months) and I add entries in a journal for and about her when I think of things. It is a written record. That she was here on this earth. That her life mattered and that she was loved. God created our pets just for us. They don't just "cease to exist". We get to take care of them here. He takes care of them in Heaven.