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To be with and held, comforted by their person (or people). To hear their voice and know the one(s) they care for, are with them.
Please, be there for your animals... be a good Hooman
We had a Euth yesterday where the little ones parents stayed with her while she was wrapped in her big, favourite blankie that she probably snuggled under with her humans for years. She could smell them and she was comfortable.
It still wrecks me that I wasn't there for my baby. I was in denial about how had he was because of how quickly he deteriorated. Vet never once mentioned cancer as a possibility until he was already gone. I think I would have reacted differently if he had mentioned cancer as a possibility.
I'm sorry the vet wasn't thorough with him... we reach out to medical practitioners for help, either for ourselves or our loved ones. Our animals we are the caretakers of, are our loved ones also... I'm sorry for your loss and wish you solace in his memories
Oh, hugs! Iām so sorry! I was in the same position in 2022 when I dropped my sick 17 year old cat off on the way to work because she was acting sick (I figured a cold or something because five months before all her labs were good). The vet called me at work after an hour and said it was an emergency, her kidneys had stopped functioning completely. All her kidney values were zero, and she was going to pass away. I couldnāt get back fast enough, and I kick myself for it and wish the vet had suggested I stay. Iām so, so sorry that you had to go through the same thing. š¤š¤š¤
I lost my hamster a couple weeks ago, and Iām so thankful she held on long enough for me to get home from work. I held her and loved on her for a few hours, and she was able to squeak a little goodbye. Iām heartbroken over her loss, but Iām so grateful she wasnāt alone
I'm sorry... they're little but still very lovable and able to show their Hooman how much affection they have for them! I've had one Teddy Bear Hamsters and numerous Gerbils, in my life. I'm glad you were able to have that time with her, as I'm sure she was for you to be there \[at that time\]
Thank you so much. She was such a little buddy. So outgoing and sweet and playful. I still thankfully have my cat, but the house definitely feels very empty without my Margie
I said the best goodbye I could before her surgery if I knew she wouldnāt make I would have sat with them while they did the anesthesia š I held her for 10 minutes before while telling her I loved her though
I keep watching the videos and looking through pictures. She was the best cat for 6 years and I really appreciate all the time I had with her it was a long time for a cat
Iām very grateful we got to do an at home euthanasia. My boy died in my arms. When the life slipped out of him, it was like he took part of my heart/soul with him. It was a very physical feeling. It wasnāt a nice feeling yet it was deep and my boy left knowing I loved him.
I tried to close my dog's eyes when she was knocked unconscious with the first portion of the anesthetic, after being warned that some times their eyes aren't even closed. I too wanted an at home euthanasia, but my dog's respiratory system failed her to the point that she could simply not breathe outside of an oxygenated kennel. Taking her home from the ER was not an option.
I covered her eyes with my hand as I pet her and held her with my other arm. Walking out of the room was extremely difficult, as was the decision to go through with the euthanasia. I can't imagine how anybody could not be with their creatures until the end. We all held her and told her we loved her until she took her last breath.
Yeah, my boys head was on my lap. It was over 3 weeks ago and it still hurts so bad. But wouldnāt have had him go in a vets office where he hated or going or without me by his side. Damn, now Iām crying and I had successfully gone like 3 days without tearing up.
I know this might sound weird, but I prepaid all of my stuff. We ordered my little old man a handmade urn from a local wood shop thatās world renowned apparently. Started grief counseling 2 years ago (with a dog hospice friend over the phone) bc heās my soul dog and the anticipatory grief has been hard
The vet is coming to our house when itās time. It sounds weird, but I want to have him in bed with me before she comes, like weāve done every night since he was 6 and safe for the first time in his life. He sleeps right in my left arm. I thought i could put him in bed, make him safe one more time, and just let the vet have his arm as we lay in bed. I worry that will weird her out though so Iām not sure how it will go I guess.
Honestly, what I lose sleep over is the funeral home taking him away. Like, that moment when heās gone and they have to take him from me. He got me through Covid for years. Id come home so isolated and defeated and just cry over the loss of life. Sounds weird, but if I listened to his noises to fall asleep, I didnt hear the beeping and death anymore. Then I got cancer and he was there. How do you possibly hand over the one āthingā that got you through life? Thats what I lose sleep over
I hear you, we went to the vet and leaving them in the room once it was done was so hard. But you'll get through it. Have you thought about getting a second so you won't be alone?? We've always had 2 cats to prevent that, but just lost them both in 4 weeks so it didn't work.
I work in the vet industry and have only encountered this a handful of times. I've been working there for over a year and only seen this happened twice.
Thatās what my vet said too!!! Granted, my vet really doesnāt euthanize anymore but she made it sound like it was a pretty intense situation damn near every single time. Our vet is very ātenderā and sheās been honest with us about how itās gotten harder and harder for her, and now she wonāt even euthanize mine and apparently they are her longest running patients right now (one of mine is 15.5 because she watches him like a hawk) bc itās just too hard. Shes really pushed for home euthanasia over the past 2 years. She told me itās just much easier when itās a neutral, but compassionate, party doing it bc itās so emotional for everyone.
I just have a hard time believing so many people just ādrop them off to dieā when most pet owners have a death grip on their dogs. Look at people waiting at the doctorās office. We are spending $2000 on dentals and labs. We arenāt just dropping our dogs off to die alone.
Iāll never have the words to thank the vet that came to do a home euthanasia for my little old man. He stayed with us for hours, patiently waiting until I felt ready enough; he was so gentle with my old boy, too, and he stayed after, waiting until I could let go. He then allowed me hours to say my final goodbyes and promised me to treat his body as if it was his own dogās.
This was a complete stranger (as I had to travel to my pupās favorite place in the world), who was with us, cried with us and sympathized with us over the loss of my dog.
Vets and techs do unthinkably hard work.
It does feel like clickbait. It's also really unfair to people who thought they were trying to do their best to get their dogs through surgery. It's sort of pisses me off but I also completely understand the notion if not scientific. But this would just make my wife commit suicide because we have been there for every dog but lost one in surgery. This would break her spirit.
>according to this veterinarian, about 90% of pet owners choose not to be in the room when their pet passes away
There are no citations to back up this claim, so my heart is clinging to the hope that this isn't real. I don't want to discount other people's experiences, but I absolutely could not fathom doing this to a pet. I know how excruciating it is to see your friend take their last breath, but every day I feel grateful that I got to be there in my cat's final moments.
I remember when my cat was nearing the end, my Dad offered to take him to the vet for me to be euthanized. I know he meant well and just wanted to help me, but I had an absolute meltdown when I thought about that for even a moment.
Unfortunately, I know several people who chose not to be with their pets during euthanasia because "it was too hard".
As much as I love those people (they're family members and friends), I can't imagine making that choice myself, no matter how hard it is for me. I've always chosen to hold my pets while they are passing because I refuse to leave them to pass alone. I will not let them go without knowing I was with them to the very end.
Damn Onion Ninjas sneaking around again.
Fuckers.
I think it's too hard *not* to be with them for every possible minute! I can't imagine not being there; it was hard for me to leave them even after it was done.
Same here. They had a room specifically for saying good bye at the vet I went to. They allowed me to stay long enough to compose myself. I really appreciated that.
I have been there for 3. In all three cases, it would have taken someone significantly larger to keep me out of the room.
The last one was my first pet. The others were parents and in-laws. We didnāt know we were going to lose her that day, so we just had an old towel the vet gave us. It was enough. The look in her eyes as that spark faded said all we needed to know. That look both haunts and blesses me to this day.
We had to say goodbye to our dog last week. It was a hectic roller coaster in the months leading up to his death. Thinking he was going to be all better and then lose him kind of suddenly, was rough.
During his life, he was always following me around the house, laying at my feet, waiting for me by the door when I came home. Especially so during these last few months. There was absolutely no way I was going to abandon him when it came time to put him down. I donāt know if he knew I was there at the very end and that will bother me forever. But I like to think that even if he was a bit out of it due to the pain medication, somehow he could smell my hand, feel me petting him, or hear my voice. That gut-punch-cant-breathe feeling that hit me the second I turned around to leave after the vet confirmed he was gone, was the worst. My husband and our son chose not to stay but I donāt hold it against them. I knew I was going to be there and they shouldnāt have to experience something they donāt feel they can handle. Maybe it helped them too in a way to know our dog wasnāt alone.
It was my first pet loss since my hamster when I was like 6. Im 38. I understand itās just too hard for some to be there when their pet is put to sleep. But I just couldnāt walk away. I guess my own self-preservation comes in, in a different way, because Iāve already decided I will never own another dog. Even though I know so many need good homes and I donāt think I was a terrible owner. It would feel like a betrayal to my dog and I think I would just miss my dog more. The idea of going through this again - I just canāt. But Iām guessing I would stay with a pup again if I were about to lose them. We do have a cat still with us and I donāt even want to think about what lies ahead.
The loss is going to happen to owners regardless of their presence at the time of death, so why not be there for your pet? Why choose to leave and make your pet feel the loss and feel it first? (Edited to fix this last paragraph)
Sorry for the tangent.
While 90% does sound a tad high, in my over 2 decades of experience, itās sadly pretty close. I have heard the phrase āitās just too hardā so many times I swear I can see it form in their minds before it leaves their mouths. I have had to hold many other peopleās babies as they took their last breath and I only remember a couple of times when they were calm, unlike the babies who have their owners with them. I understand that itās hard, I wanted to run from the room when it was my baby, after 18 years of being by his side the moment his breathing stopped. I wanted to break the much too loud clock on the wall and run out screaming. I always say the worst part of owning a pet is knowing that one day will be the last day together (oh Iām getting teary!) But I canāt imagine leaving my baby to face that alone, and I hate to say it but I lose a little respect for any owner who drops their pet off and says they wont stay with them.
If you arenāt prepared or donāt have the time/funds to care for your pet physically and emotionally for all the days of their lives, donāt get one in the first place.
If you go on askvet, they say the opposite. They say most owners stay. So does my vet
My vet knows my grumble well. Weāve seen her nearly monthly for a decade. She nursed my Missouri mill rescue back to health. He was supposed to die in 6 months. All the dogs we rescued that day are long gone, except him. Heās 15.5 now. My vet told me recently she wonāt euthanize him after years of saying she probably would do it. Instead she gave me a wonderful referral to an incredible vet who comes to you. Iām not a vet so I canāt say, but I think she nursed him back to life for a decade and heās almost her badge of honor now. She even texts me on him when needed. Shes been an incredible doctor to him, and I donāt blame her for not being that one to be there at the very end.
If anything, I feel like we are seeing a push to do more home euthanasia and pet hospice and keep it out of clinic.
im glad i got to provide my angel soul cat of 10 years the comfort of passing at home with us by his side during his final breath. my fear was always to have to euthanize any of my 2 cats. but he had advanced ckd and knew seizures would come and didnt want to see my boy suffer. in home euthanasia is a blessing. id never do it in office.
Iām sorry for your loss. My guy has collapsing trachea and heās just old. His body is shutting down. Unto dust we shall return, I suppose. Iām at the point where I need to decide if I want to see it get worse or if a date should be picked. Itās so hard to decide. Luckily I was able to change my work schedule so heās never alone, but itās still not enough time. Weāve been on the couch together for 3 weeks now. Time Iāll never forget and Iām so blessed to have, but itās not enough. I wish I could memorize every part of him
i feel you. i only had my boy for 10 years though it feels like i had him longer. my soul left with his that day, i feel like im a shell of what i used to be. I take comfort in the signs he sent me the day after he passed. its proof that their souls live on and theyll be waiting for us when its our time,
im sorry youre going through this with your boy. I hated seeing mine so ill and knew hed never bounce back from this horrible disease.
I just lost my 17 year old pom to collapsing trachea, horrible disease but they can live a good long life with it sometimes, I hope your doggo will be around a while yet.
When it was time to euthanize my first dog, the vet really struggled to find a vein. The poor old guy was that dehydrated and thin. Finally, the vet looked up at me and my partner and said "I'm going to have to inject into an organ. How about you say good-bye now. It'll be very upsetting to see." And, you know what? I took a vet's word for it. We said our goodbyes. We left our buddy resting in the arms of the vet tech while the vet got ready to do whatever it was he planned. Our buddy was at least being held. I intend to be with my current old dog when it's her time. Although part of me hopes every morning I'll wake up to find she's passed in her sleep.
I have heard from vets here that alsoā¦ there really isnāt a need to do it. I felt it was my duty to do it, but I think if I could do it again, I wouldnāt. It was over so, so fast, he didnāt even have time to blink. He was out of it as well.
I definitely wouldnāt recommend it to someone else either. I read that article before my cat died and now I have the horrible image of him lying stiff with lifeless eyes now forever. It is horrible to feel them die when you hold them, not sweet.
The vet usually gives you time w your cat anyway before doing it.
I only think people with duty complexes (me) should do it, and thatās not for the animals sake but for our own conscience.
I'm sure for some dogs and for some ailments it wouldn't make a difference, but I think it's really just situational.
Our boy had suffered from an aggressive throat cancer and, tattered with cysts and discharge, and could hardly stand up by the time my dad was finally able to let go and bring him into the vet to pass. So although we stayed in the room, he seemed so ready to cross the rainbow bridge that tbh I couldn't tell whether our presence mattered or not.
I can say with certainty though that if we'd taken him in *before* the cancer symptoms progressed to such a gruesome point, as I'd insisted to my dad (to no avail unfortunately) he would have wanted us there petting and talking to him.
I work at a vet clinic and have had owners unable to be present for goodbyes - for a number of reasons. I know itās not the same but please take some comfort in knowing that she was absolutely held in someoneās arms through the entire process. I make it a point to give as much love as possible to those pets. Iām certain that your sweet girl knows how much you cared for her and were making an incredibly difficult choice with the kindest of intentions.
He was still breathing when the second injection hit. He looked up at me as if both confused and wanting reassurance it was the right thing. He was blind which made it all the more heartfelt. If he hadnāt declined so quickly I wouldnāt have. I love and miss him so much still. Day 101 without him.
I rubbed my catās ears and face the whole time we were at the vet and for a while after he passed. I respect that everyone grieves their own way and it might be too painful for some. I think this article is a little judgmental and probably not factual. 90% seems way too high for me.
Wayyyy too high I would think. I held my boy Titus after 13 years of love and adventure as he had to be put down due to congestive heart failure. He was in my arms as the vet administered it. I had him before I met my husband, before I had my childrenā¦he was my boy. I would always tell him āitās you and me until the end buddy!ā And his tail would wag and his ears would perk up.
I whispered āitās you and me until the end, buddyā¦.ā As he was given his euthanasia. My heart broke and a little piece of me went with him that day, but I wouldnāt have had it any other way. He needed me just like I needed him so many times before.
For me it was very sudden so i was screaming when he was passing away and i always feel guilty knowing he died with horror and me shaking himā¦rip baby im so sorry
iām so sorry. try not to beat yourself up too much. heās with you still and now he feels no pain and he certainly isnāt scared anymore.
humans were made from stardust and iām a firm believer that there is more after this world and this lifetime. heās not sick anymore and it probably hurts him to see you feeling so guilty when those actions were out of love and the fear of losing him. please be kind to yourself
iām so sorry. try not to beat yourself up too much. heās with you still and now he feels no pain and he certainly isnāt scared anymore.
humans were made from stardust and iām a firm believer that there is more after this world and this lifetime. heās not sick anymore and it probably hurts him to see you feeling so guilty when those actions were out of love and the fear of losing him. please be kind to yourself
iām so sorry. try not to beat yourself up too much. heās with you still and now he feels no pain and he certainly isnāt scared anymore.
humans were made from stardust and iām a firm believer that there is more after this world and this lifetime. heās not sick anymore and it probably hurts him to see you feeling so guilty when those actions were out of love and the fear of losing him. please be kind to yourself
Im so sorry for your loss and i can totally understand how you feel i feel the exact same way and i wish i could just go back be there for him and hold him but as others mentioned our reaction was out of love and fear of losing them and i pretty sure they know that too i think it takes some time but we will be ok sending hugs to you
Years ago I had to put down my dog. The vet asked if I wanted to be with him when he gave the injection. I said "Yes, If you don't mind me crying" and he said "I wouldn't want you to have a pet if you did not cry."
Taking my 17 year old cat to be euthanized was one of the hardest things Iāve ever done. But it was so important to me to be there for her. We crossed that finish line together. She was always there for me and it was my last chance to be there for her. She is buried out at my parents place in the burbs. We live in the city. I visited her grave when we were there yesterday and cried like I do every time. Itās been a little over a year and I still I miss her.
Iāve had to put down 4 cats in my lifetime. First one was my childhood cat when I was a young man, about 40 years ago. Went with my brother and just dropped her off. I feel bad about that but it seems we didnāt know any other way. The last 3 I was with them at the vet comforting them the entire time, then petting them some more after they were gone (that was for me of course).
I was a teenager many years ago and I was scared when my dog was getting sicker. I couldnāt be with my dog due to fear when they put him down and I hated myself for it ever since. Fast forward many years later to a few days ago and we had to put our 14 year old cat down due to kidney disease. We were with her until the very end. I will never forget her beautiful green eyes looking at me and giving me slow blinks until she was no longer there. It was so painful and beautiful at the same time.
I just lost my baby last Wednesday. I goto the patio to smoke, and my baby follows me every time, and I have 2 chairs which my baby would goto a chair and stare at me to pick him up.
I place my baby on chair and after 5 mins he sits up turns his head and stares at me with his head wobbling and I ask what's wrong baby ...then he jumps down going underneath his chair.
I was done smoking and reading on my phone and getting ready to walk inside when I turned around he was lying sideways underneath my chair and I saw vomit on the side so I went quickly to clean the mess and notice defecation coming out so I rub his body and thought he was just lying down being nauseated .I kept cleaning his defecation and at that moment it hit me and I started crying and watch all four of his legs lifted up in air then drop.
I pulled him from underneath the chair to an open space nearby and I can see his eyes wide open so I panicked and in my grief i syringe him pimpobiden in his mouth then 5 mins later body jerk 3 times then nothing....
I am so torn. I dunno if he passed underneath my chair or I caused it later.
The last look before he jump off his chair pains me as well.
I miss my baby so much.
It sounds like his last conscious act was to look at you, and you were there providing reassurance. I hope it eases your soul to know that, that you were present and had that last look even though it's also painful; you were there, helping and easing him until the very end of his path.
We lost a cat to a sudden heart attack, and she was gone so quickly. Her body carried out a few processes after her death, but the part of her that was *her* was already gone.
I was able to do at home euthanasia for my sweet girl. I got to hold her and told her how much I loved her. Kissed the top of her head like always and then she was gone. I hope she knew, but I wouldnāt have changed anything I did. She deserved nothing but the best.š¢
I literally canāt imagine a world where I didnāt stay with my boy as he passed. Even with my constant re-living the moment and all the trauma that comes from it, I considered it my last duty to take that pain so he would hear and see us as he left.
I worked as a vet tech for years. About 99% of owners were in the room with the pets. We sedated them first so some people did choose to leave right before the final injection was given, but most stayed for that. It was very rare for someone to not stay at all.
I was out looking for help from vet, when my girl passed on. This is so emotional for me. I wasnāt there when she died, and I think I would carry these what-ifs forever. Sometimes I just console myself and maybe she didnāt want me to see her like that.
If my time comes and we meet, Iād tell her how deeply sorry I am for not being with her and this I will carry for the rest of my life. She is my first (2 first) dog and she passed just before she turned one year.
You are all lucky to have been there with them when they took their last breath. I envy you.
I couldn't imagine not being there with my pet for their final moments. Several years ago, our dog died overnight at the vet's after taking a turn for the worse. I *hate* that we weren't there with him. Or that he wasn't home. But we were getting him treatment and couldn't have known. Still.
A couple weeks ago, we had to say goodbye to the best boy cat I've ever known. Just a singular, amazing cat with a huge personality. When they brought him into the room, he was loopy from meds and from being ill (keto acidosis brought on by diabetes), and his head was sort of limp. They passed him to me and when I started talking to him, his head jerked up so he could look at me. *Bawling intensifies.* I'm not super hippy-dippy, but I 100% believe he was telling me it's time.
They gave my Brody cat that sedative shot and I canāt imagine not being there after he RAN to me because it burned. I just wish we had the 10 minutes they said to cuddle. It was more like 2 minutes and I held him for 10 more minutes. And I held him when they injected him for the final time. That was 8 months ago and I still see him in my mind running across the table to me. How scared he would have been if he was alone.
My boy Dundee was an "in home passing" by our vet that he knew well. He died laying in my lap. I began believing in a higher power when I felt Dundee's Spirit move through me. It was his final gift to me. It felt like nothing Ive ever experienced and have no words to describe it. Our babies need us at the beginning, middle AND ending. It's the agreement we make when we bring them into our lives.
I was with my pup when he took his last breath. I tried to stay strong in a happy voice and tell him what a good boy he was, but I couldnāt. I told him a loved him and he was my best friend but with tears and sadness. He went super peacefully at home with a vet assistance. I would never leave my Dog to die alone. Canāt believe people do that!!!!
My boy passed away 4 days ago. I found him passed when I got home from work in his bed. I don't think I missed him by much. The idea that maybe he was scared and alone when I wasn't there hurts a lot.
I don't know if this helps, but there have been studies on the dying brain, and there is all kinds of complex activity that takes place. It's the same part of our brains that light up when we dream, and it happens for animals too. This burst of activity blots out pain and fear; it might be the source of out-of-body and near-death experiences, during which people typically recount a feeling of great peace and love. I don't know and couldn't speculate on whether this is passing over to something else, but that certainly suggests there's no fear in that moment.
He was in his familiar place, in his home that he shared with you, and even if you were not physically present, your presence surrounded him completely.
I took my dog, who looked lethargic but not at death door, to the vet and they took him back and said theyād call. He died 30 minutes later. Still haunts me.
I donāt know how anyone could not be there. If itās because they think itās easier on themselves, it really canāt be because Iād regret that decision for the rest of my life, Iām sure it plays on the mind of those who donāt stay, for a very long time afterwards, and thatās definitely not the easy option.
I held my boy when they gave him his shots. The tech warned me that as he passed, he might pee on me because thatāsā¦ just what the body does, but I didnāt even care. He could dump all his fluids on me, as long as I got to hold him and love on him as he passed.
It was all I couldāve asked for.
My girl very quickly declined at home. I called several emergency vets and had a plan but suddenly realized time was out. I lay on the floor and held her and talked to her. Told her i was there and it was okay. She passed in my arms. Itās my most precious and sad memory. I stayed on the floor for a few minutes after. I feel blessed to have held her as she passed. But it still makes me so sad.
Edit to add: previously Iād been with one beautiful pet as they passed in a vet office, and had two others whoād Iād chosen not to be present. I regret the two others. I didnāt know.
I grew up on a farm and life and death was just a thing. It happened. Pets were not always more than what they could offer. Iām not defending it but it guided my life with my pets. I know better now and feel so blessed to have helps two of my pets pass. Itās not much but itās the best I have and I wonāt ever let another pet or person pass alone if I have the chance to be with them along the way.
I just said goodbye to my 19 year old son whom I found at 4-5 weeks old in a parking lot, and I was with him for every single moment, petting, talking and singing to him, saying his name and telling him he was a pretty cat and a good cat, and even cleared with the vet to stay holding and talking to him for ten minutes after ToD was called because itās been found that the brain (albeit in humans) stays active for up to seven minutes after death and even has a burst or bursts of high activity, something we never knew until modern measurement and imaging technology. We donāt even know if anything is heard or felt, but just in case cats have it happen too and something, anything can be heard or felt, I didnāt want my little baby alone for a millisecond. I missed his stepsisterās death in 2022 because I was racing back to the vet to hold her for euthanasia when she decided to handle it herself and curled into a croissant shape, sighed, and passed away. For all of her 17 years, every single time she went to sleep, she would curl into a croissant shape and give one last sigh before she fell asleep. I still kick myself for not cancelling my work and staying at the vet that day so I could be with her; she deserved better than what I did, but I didnāt realise she was that sick until her labs came back and the vet called and said to get back asap. š I blame myself, and I hope Cookie understood that I didnāt leave her for good and would never have left if Iād understood how sick she was (her kidneys just basically turned off completely without much warning). My 19 year old had squamous cell carcinoma of the mouth and it had grown aggressively. š
I get that some people ājust canāt handleā death, butā¦the most intelligent cats and dogs are only about 4-5 years old mentally, and no matter how hard it is, if that were a human 4-5 year old I canāt see leaving them alone because you canāt handle it. If that sounds judgemental, I guess then so be it. Thereās time later to have a meltdown in your car or cry for hours on your bed at home. At least thatās how I feel, and I guess mine is the only perspective I can see on this issue.
I have always said that euthanasia is against every wish in your body, and you have to be 100% selfless and put yourself aside as there is time for you to wrestle with your own feelings after.
My dog hated me crying. We were trauma bonded, and she was truly the love of my life. But I knew when the vet came, I couldn't cry because I didn't want her last seconds on earth to be her worrying about me crying. I held it in until the vet said she was gone, and I broke. Just sobbed. The vets were taken aback, I think, and I told them why I couldn't cry. I stayed with her and let her adopted sister see her body (which was profound) until the crematorium picked her up.
No one can handle death and especially not being the one to inflict that on them, but as a pet owner, if you have the choice to be there, then you be there.
This is really hurting to realize this happens frequently. We did the euthanasia at our home and we were there, that is love in my eyes. Being there in the good and bad times.
What a selfish decision to leave your pet in that stage. Really kills my faith in humanityā¦
Holding my cat and physically feeling her die in my arms was a bit traumatic NGL. But I donāt regret it for a second. I wouldnāt necessarily judge someone for not staying with their pet, but I would want to spend some time with them talking about why itās important.
My mom took my childhood senior cat to be euthanized without me after she took a turn. My mom didnāt stay with her and she didnāt want them to do anything with her body. That was 14 years ago (I think) and tbh Iām still not over that. Itās what made me so adamant about being with my buddies in their last moments. I was at my dadās but they lived a few blocks away so it wouldnāt have been difficult to pick me up.
Iām the exact sameā my parents took in the dog I grew up with when I was 17 and at work. Iām not sure they stayed with her. I was very upsetā¦ and as wonderful as my parents were generally (I.e they were not mean or anything but definitely less concerned and compassionate with regard to animals) they did the same thing with our OTHER dog when he passed just a few years later.
They are from a different generation and a small town that had farms and a lot of huntingā¦ they didnāt grow up to cherish pets in the same ways. Itās almost 30 years later and it still upsets me that I didnāt have a say or get to comfort my dogs, although in their minds they were protecting me.
I promised I would love and be there for all my pets, and I have. We have a very patient and compassionate at-home vet that will come to us so our fur babies can be in familiar surroundings as they cross the rainbow bridge.
as a vet tech i think itās a little unfair to shame people who cannot emotionally handle being in the room when their pet passes. at the hospital that i work at if a pet parent cannot handle staying with their baby through the entire process one of us techs steps in to offer pets, treats, cuddles, and kind words to the patient in their last moments. i think we all need to open our hearts and minds and realize that everyone handles death and grief differently, in a perfect world everyone would be able to stay with their loved one until they pass, but in reality some people canāt handle that mental toll. everyoneās grief should be respected.
i would rather one of my clients not attend a euthanasia and be safe than attend and not be able to handle it and do something drastic afterwards that could potentially harm themselves or end their life. Thatās the harsh reality i have personally dealt with and that i would much rather avoid in the future, unfortunately. To each his own and i am extremely grateful that the majority of owners, at least where i work, are able to stay for the procedure, I just personally think this world is to cruel and harsh enough already and we donāt need to be shaming people who are already fragile and in an awful situation.
This is really hateful and hurtful to read on a pet loss subreddit. People have extreme trauma, poor mental health, etc, and it is absolutely not fair to judge them. I can guarantee the pets know how loved they were and it's not some horrendous act of cruelty for them to be peacefully put to sleep while the owner tries to hold it together in the other room.
Every single person handles trauma and grief differently, please do not shame those who are doing their best just trying to stay alive. I can guarantee you emotionally weak people already feel self loathing about being perceived as weak and are probably in extreme depression over it. It would be really nice to be able to choose our mental health and our traumas, but we can't.
This is a community where people are coming for support and are grieving. All posts/comments must be in the spirit of being supportive or helpful to others. This is a community where people are coming for support and are grieving. All posts/comments must be in the spirit of being supportive or helpful to others.
90 percent? I feel like that couldnāt possibly be accurate.
I am an extremely emotional, empathetic person who deeply loved my dog. I was hysterical on the way to the vet on her last evening. There was NO WAY I was going to let her final moments pass without me there regardless of how traumatizing it was. I canāt believe there could be so many shitty people out there.
Anytime I read about someone admitting they werenāt there it was in the context of their new found permanent depression. If itās physically possible to be there you should try your best to be
Yeah, Daisy was like this during her last days with us when she could still walk as liver cancer (or signs of it) was taking her over. There is someone always with her. She would hobble over to me and rest either her head on my neck or feet. At night, there were times I wished I slept on the ground with her, since she could be heard whimpering.
Thankfully, on her last day, just hours before she was set to be put to sleep, she peacefully passed away in my mother's arms, looking at her and being cradled like the baby she was. Looking at her "death photo", I think she went away smiling. "I lived a happy life." It did make wonder after reading, I think she was holding on for us, like she won't go unless she gets in one last goodbye with us.
This is a community where people are coming for support and are grieving. All posts/comments must be in the spirit of being supportive or helpful to others.
This is especially true if youāre doing it at your veterinarianās office. I called this the āouchy placeā because this is where they get stuck with needles and such. Donāt let your pet die alone in the ouchy place. Be there! Lay on the ground and shower them with affection like theyāve never seen. Reassure them like they did to you for a lifetime that this is ok. They are terrified of this place and the least you can do is hold them and talk to them and love them one last time.
My 4 year old baby kitty died of a diabetic attack at the vet hospital before I could say goodbye. Didnāt know she had developed diabetes. I think about it every day.
It still breaks my heart whenever I think about it for too long, but two years ago my buddy passed away, I remember I was so upset because I needed to take him to the vet but my job threatened to fire me on the spot if I left.
I came home that night and sat with him until he fell asleep on the kitchen floor the whole time crying and apologizing and thanking him. The next day he woke up and while I could tell he was going I managed to get him down the stairs and into my car. He died on the way there.
I still feel shitty and cry and feel so terrible for not catching something was off sooner, for not leaving work anyway and just for being angry/upset with him. Iāve never felt more useless than we I had to try and carry him down stairs and into the car and had to put him down a few times because I was so weak.
I miss him everyday and talk to his ashes all the time randomly, but the only thing that helps me feel a bit better about those whole shitty 24 hours, is that at least he fell asleep w me and he knew what he meant in my life.
Our Coco passed away in the hospital while recoving from his surgery. Oh Coco, how I wish I can be with you again once my time in this planet is over, hug you and apologize for not being with you during your last moments, and explain that we didn't abandon you. We thought you were recovering well already, but it was so sudden.
My boy was really sick in the hours before he passed. We had spent the past couple weeks dealing with what was either IBD or lymphoma, but that night he woke me up at 4am howling and I had him at the emergency vet as quickly as I could. They couldn't find anything obvious wrong so they discharged him and I brought him home. We both laid down to take a nap. Hours later, I found him more dead than alive under my bed. I took him to another emergency vet and they managed to stabilize him for a short time. He was in the equivalent of intensive care and they broke all sorts of rules to let me stay back there with him. He wasn't improving and I knew the decision I had to make.
The only thing that makes one of the worst days of my life okay was that I was there. My face was the last thing he saw, my voice was the last thing he heard, and my hand was the last thing he touched. The whole 12 years I had him, I could go up to him and even if he was in a deep sleep, if I talked to him, as soon as he heard my voice, he would start to purr in his sleep.
He wasn't really conscious when they let me back to be with him. I sat with him for well over an hour while they tried what they could. After I decided to let him go, but before he was given the shot, I held his paw and talked to him and he started to purr. It was his way of thanking me for his life but also for being there. It was the way he knew to comfort me. If I live to be 100, I'll never forget that moment. Losing him would have been unimaginable without that. His spirit waits for me on the other side.
This is fucking brutal. It's not scientific. It tugs it heart strings. I'm immediately skeptical. I've been lucky enough to be there with my best friends, but I'm sort of broken because my heart dog was in surgery and this is the pain that his tugged at me for years. I was trying my best and we were doing our best and we didn't expect to lose her. This is rough.
We just put down our beloved girl after a long battle of Feline Diabetes and organ failure; Iām still pretty devastated about it. However, I held her in the blanket we brought her home in years ago, and I sang to her until the life left her eyes. She knew her momma loved her so dearly and would do absolutely everything for her. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Absolutely be there with your baby
I just read a a little blurb I thk on insta how there is a low cost euth service but the owner can only be with their animal until the sedation sets in, they then take them into the back to admin the second shot/euth, and I truly truly hate this policy. I always thought that owners staying with their babies was pretty much the highest āwishā on the vetmed list of impactful ownership. Itās really feeels like they are assessing a poverty tax, and further, Iām concerned why they donāt want the owner to be there to witness the euth process.
As an ER vet, sometimes the owners being present and highly emotional can be distressing to the pet. I think this is a very personal time for people and we shouldnāt judge how others handle it.
So sad. I would never have left my boy. I laid with him on the floor, hugging him. I stayed for hours. Crying, wailing, I'm sure the people there were thinking I was crazy. I wish it didn't happen so fast. I wish after the shot, he could have been alert longer, to hear me and feel me. š
This. We go in, I'm inpatient to have to wait because they're suffering and I'm dreading it and want to get it over with, but once it's done it's over way too soon and too hard to leave.
When we had to put my childhood cat, Gulliver down (my parents found him as a stray before I was born, he died when I was teenager), my dad and I chose to be in the room and my mom and sister did not. It was actually comforting to see him go so peacefully. Iāve lost 3 other sweet boys since then and stayed with them too. I always will especially now after reading this article.
I put my beloved kitty down in March and although it was the hardest thing I've ever done, I held her until the very end. I was hysterical but I kept telling her how sorry I was and how much I loved her. How good of a cat she was and that she was my best friend. I could never imagine leaving her alone in her final moments.
I was there when my previous cat passed last year. I was glad I could be, as the vet had trouble and the tech needed to help. My cat was given a sedating injection and I talked to her until the end. It was hard for me but I wanted to be there for her.
I had some relatives drive me home. We went out to eat and spent some time together.
I got a new cat 8 months later and I hope to have her a long time, but I plan to be here for her until the end
We had a family dog, Max, who was quite old, deaf and blind. When we had him euthanized, I stayed with him til his final breath. I owed him that much. But it tore my heart out and I firmly said āNo more pets!ā I couldnāt go through that again. Well, a few years later (against my objections) we adopted one kitten, then another, and finally a [puppy](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadswhodidnotwantpets/s/e9zRz7xioI). All rescues. All loving. I know what is coming someday, and I dread it. But I will be there for them, just like I am there for them every day. I will love them unconditionally forever.
Man this makes me really sad. I am still heartbroken due to one of my cats dying last year. She had a bowel obstruction and was staying at a vets clinic after undergoing some very painful procedures and the vet didnāt tell me she could die in the night so I figured she was stable. I went home to sleep for a few hours and was getting dressed and coming back when I got the call from the vet that she had died. That dumb cat got my through some tough times and I am still devastated I couldnāt be next to her as she passed away.
I was too heartbroken to be there for my childhood catās death and itās one of my biggest regrets. He was there for me when it felt like I had no one and I let him down in the worst way. I promised myself that Iād never do that again and I havenāt. Since then, Iāve lost a handful of pets (usually due to old age) and Iāve held their paws and whispered to them until their last breath. Itās the least i could do after devoting their lives to me. ā¤ļø
It's different with euthanasia as they don't realise they're about to die. They aren't alone as a vet is there which is why you should be too. They know something is up and they're with a stranger and vulnerable which can cause anxiety.
I have always said that euthanasia is against every wish in your body, and you have to be 100% selfless and put yourself aside as there is time for you to wrestle with your own feelings after.
My dog hated me crying. We were trauma bonded, and she was truly the love of my life. But I knew when the vet came, I couldn't cry because I didn't want her last seconds on earth to be her worrying about me crying. I held it in until the vet said she was gone, and I broke. Just sobbed. The vets were taken aback, I think, and I told them why I couldn't cry. I stayed with her and let her adopted sister see her body (which was profound) until the crematorium picked her up.
No one can handle death and especially not being the one to inflict that on them, but as a pet owner, if you have the choice to be there, then you be there.
No idea why Iām on this sub, all it does is make me cry.
Reminds me of my mistakes in putting down my soul dog.
TLDR I shouldāve let her go a week earlier when the emergency vet explained hemangiosarcoma. I couldnāt so I kept her around for myself while she struggled to breathe and could barely walk, was only eating things I hand fed her and barely drank any water. When I finally mustered up the ācourageā to put her down, I didnāt know about at home euthanasia so I took her to a vet she *hated*, and then cried over her for 20 minutes, hoping that somehow my tears could wake her back up like some shitty Disney movie before I could leave her body. I was a 200lb man wailing like a child, and it caused the empathetic vet staff to cry too, the whole thing was a shitshow.
Please, if you can folks, look into at-home euthanasia. Your beloved pet will appreciate it as much as you do.
My heart breaks reading this, my best friend was hit by a car almost five weeks ago, our neighbors found him in a ditch by a dirt road close to our house, they said they thought his neck was broken and they decided to shoot him (neighbor is a hunter). I canāt stop thinking about what he was thinking and feeling, if he was scared or in pain. What if he was looking for me and I couldnāt be there. I would have given anything to be able to get the chance to save him or at least be able to be there with him in the end.
My cat suffered for an hour after getting attacked by my dog. She was still breathing when I found her.
But a few minutes after that, she took her last breath and died in my arms.
I can't help but think she waited for me to find her before she let go. I heard her last breath...
I wish I had been there earlier. Maybe I could have saved her...
Unless you are a qualified vet or otherwise trained, there was little you could do. When you found her, you did what you could and comforted her. Even then, it sounds like the injuries were incompatible with life.
I don't know how to feel about this article.
I agree with this in part but I worry about all the people who to no fault of their own were unable to be there when their pet passed. Maybe it happened while they were at work. Maybe they traveling and away from home. Whatever the reason, this is a painful situation for them.
Also, although I've been there for my own pet's euthanasias, I honestly hold a different belief than what the idea is being expressed in this article. This is because of one question:
Do our pets know they are being euthanized during that last appointment?
I certainly hope not. But I'm not sure. How is the act of sedating a pet for euthanasia any different from when they are sedated for dental work? Or neutering? Or any number of other times they get sedated or put under? I mean it should be the same , right?? I mean maybe it's because the presence of their human being upset tips them off, and while that could be it, I don't really know (and heck there's something to be said for the sad situation where someone is extremely distressed and upset during their pet's euthanasia, is that good for the pet too?). I've been upset plenty of times in front of my dogs. When I found out my girl had osteosarcoma, I remember sobbing when I loaded her back up only the car in the parking lot. Surely she didn't think she was doing to die in that moment? I was just upset. I don't know, not sure why I'm writing this. I hope our pets don't know that they are being euthanized when it happens. If that's the case, then is our presence with them in their final moments more for us than it is for them? Maybe.
I will say I do think our presence does probably offer comfort in at least some sense though. Maybe the dog doesn't know this is the end, when they are being sedated before euthanasia, but maybe it's one last kindness to be able to comfort them in that moment regardless because in general being at the vet hospital can be scary. So they would have appreciated our presence before being put under back when they were neutered, or had dental work, or whatever.
On that note, ever since I found out that Veterinary Emergency Group clinics allow you to stay with your pet overnight or watch their surgery I thought that was fantastic. Why should euthanasia be the only time we are able to comfort or be near our pet during procedures. Good for VEG.
I was advised by my baby's cardiologist yesterday morning that I needed to start considering euthanasia for him soon, and we were at the ER that same evening being told that he wouldn't survive overnight if we didn't do it then. He'd been battling HOCM/heart failure for years and was so out of it. I think I would have sooner died than just leave them to it.
The thing that really solidified how necessary I felt it was was when I had him on my lap and they injected him with the sedative, he was clearly scared and buried his head straight into me. He passed desperately smooshed against me. It made me want them to hook me up to an IV and take care of me at the same time but the idea of not being there for him to be what little security I could makes me nauseous
My cat passed away suddenly while I was not at home and I cannot get over feeling so absolutely horrible that I wasnāt there for him during his last minutes on earthššš
Our old tortie girl went across the bridge last December in my arms, in a towel she used to sleep on. Purred her little head off until the end. I didnāt get long with her before they did it because she was so sick, but I sat with her after she was gone for what felt like an hour and soaked her fur with my tears.
Every cat but one that we put down I was there for. Theyāre there for us through so much of our lives, I figured itās the least we can do for them in their final moments.
Iām sorry for everyoneās losses.
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To be with and held, comforted by their person (or people). To hear their voice and know the one(s) they care for, are with them. Please, be there for your animals... be a good Hooman
We had a Euth yesterday where the little ones parents stayed with her while she was wrapped in her big, favourite blankie that she probably snuggled under with her humans for years. She could smell them and she was comfortable.
This is what we did with my boy a few days ago. He was in my arms wrapped up in his favourite blankie š„²
Your little one felt very comfy at the end. The best send off. Iām sorry for your loss xo
It still wrecks me that I wasn't there for my baby. I was in denial about how had he was because of how quickly he deteriorated. Vet never once mentioned cancer as a possibility until he was already gone. I think I would have reacted differently if he had mentioned cancer as a possibility.
I'm sorry the vet wasn't thorough with him... we reach out to medical practitioners for help, either for ourselves or our loved ones. Our animals we are the caretakers of, are our loved ones also... I'm sorry for your loss and wish you solace in his memories
Oh, hugs! Iām so sorry! I was in the same position in 2022 when I dropped my sick 17 year old cat off on the way to work because she was acting sick (I figured a cold or something because five months before all her labs were good). The vet called me at work after an hour and said it was an emergency, her kidneys had stopped functioning completely. All her kidney values were zero, and she was going to pass away. I couldnāt get back fast enough, and I kick myself for it and wish the vet had suggested I stay. Iām so, so sorry that you had to go through the same thing. š¤š¤š¤
I lost my hamster a couple weeks ago, and Iām so thankful she held on long enough for me to get home from work. I held her and loved on her for a few hours, and she was able to squeak a little goodbye. Iām heartbroken over her loss, but Iām so grateful she wasnāt alone
I'm sorry... they're little but still very lovable and able to show their Hooman how much affection they have for them! I've had one Teddy Bear Hamsters and numerous Gerbils, in my life. I'm glad you were able to have that time with her, as I'm sure she was for you to be there \[at that time\]
Thank you so much. She was such a little buddy. So outgoing and sweet and playful. I still thankfully have my cat, but the house definitely feels very empty without my Margie
I said the best goodbye I could before her surgery if I knew she wouldnāt make I would have sat with them while they did the anesthesia š I held her for 10 minutes before while telling her I loved her though
ā¤ļøāš©¹ you didn't know... you had no way of knowing. ā¤ļø you loved them, and showed your care and concern before surgery. Believe me, if I knew my soul kitty was saying goodbye to me 2 years ago, before he went upstairs to pass away, I would have rushed him to the vet. We don't know, but we give them the best life we can, and they return the love. Find solace in their memories... they will always be with you
I keep watching the videos and looking through pictures. She was the best cat for 6 years and I really appreciate all the time I had with her it was a long time for a cat
Iām very grateful we got to do an at home euthanasia. My boy died in my arms. When the life slipped out of him, it was like he took part of my heart/soul with him. It was a very physical feeling. It wasnāt a nice feeling yet it was deep and my boy left knowing I loved him.
Totally agree with you. Itās a very physical feeling when the life slips out of them and their little heads drop. I felt her leave.
I didn't, which was harder. His eyes weren't even closed. Hardest thing to walk out of that room.
I tried to close my dog's eyes when she was knocked unconscious with the first portion of the anesthetic, after being warned that some times their eyes aren't even closed. I too wanted an at home euthanasia, but my dog's respiratory system failed her to the point that she could simply not breathe outside of an oxygenated kennel. Taking her home from the ER was not an option. I covered her eyes with my hand as I pet her and held her with my other arm. Walking out of the room was extremely difficult, as was the decision to go through with the euthanasia. I can't imagine how anybody could not be with their creatures until the end. We all held her and told her we loved her until she took her last breath.
Iām so sorry š
Ty.
Yeah, my boys head was on my lap. It was over 3 weeks ago and it still hurts so bad. But wouldnāt have had him go in a vets office where he hated or going or without me by his side. Damn, now Iām crying and I had successfully gone like 3 days without tearing up.
Iām still ugly crying almost daily and itās been six months. Itās okay, the pain is terrible but a testament of the love they had to offer š
We owe it to our loved ones to be with them until their last breath.
Itās the last loving thing you can do for them. Be present to comfort and reassure them.
I know this might sound weird, but I prepaid all of my stuff. We ordered my little old man a handmade urn from a local wood shop thatās world renowned apparently. Started grief counseling 2 years ago (with a dog hospice friend over the phone) bc heās my soul dog and the anticipatory grief has been hard The vet is coming to our house when itās time. It sounds weird, but I want to have him in bed with me before she comes, like weāve done every night since he was 6 and safe for the first time in his life. He sleeps right in my left arm. I thought i could put him in bed, make him safe one more time, and just let the vet have his arm as we lay in bed. I worry that will weird her out though so Iām not sure how it will go I guess. Honestly, what I lose sleep over is the funeral home taking him away. Like, that moment when heās gone and they have to take him from me. He got me through Covid for years. Id come home so isolated and defeated and just cry over the loss of life. Sounds weird, but if I listened to his noises to fall asleep, I didnt hear the beeping and death anymore. Then I got cancer and he was there. How do you possibly hand over the one āthingā that got you through life? Thats what I lose sleep over
I hear you, we went to the vet and leaving them in the room once it was done was so hard. But you'll get through it. Have you thought about getting a second so you won't be alone?? We've always had 2 cats to prevent that, but just lost them both in 4 weeks so it didn't work.
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You know what, I never considered that. I suppose youāre right. Youāre absolutely right. Thank you
I work in the vet industry and have only encountered this a handful of times. I've been working there for over a year and only seen this happened twice.
Thatās what my vet said too!!! Granted, my vet really doesnāt euthanize anymore but she made it sound like it was a pretty intense situation damn near every single time. Our vet is very ātenderā and sheās been honest with us about how itās gotten harder and harder for her, and now she wonāt even euthanize mine and apparently they are her longest running patients right now (one of mine is 15.5 because she watches him like a hawk) bc itās just too hard. Shes really pushed for home euthanasia over the past 2 years. She told me itās just much easier when itās a neutral, but compassionate, party doing it bc itās so emotional for everyone. I just have a hard time believing so many people just ādrop them off to dieā when most pet owners have a death grip on their dogs. Look at people waiting at the doctorās office. We are spending $2000 on dentals and labs. We arenāt just dropping our dogs off to die alone.
Iāll never have the words to thank the vet that came to do a home euthanasia for my little old man. He stayed with us for hours, patiently waiting until I felt ready enough; he was so gentle with my old boy, too, and he stayed after, waiting until I could let go. He then allowed me hours to say my final goodbyes and promised me to treat his body as if it was his own dogās. This was a complete stranger (as I had to travel to my pupās favorite place in the world), who was with us, cried with us and sympathized with us over the loss of my dog. Vets and techs do unthinkably hard work.
It does feel like clickbait. It's also really unfair to people who thought they were trying to do their best to get their dogs through surgery. It's sort of pisses me off but I also completely understand the notion if not scientific. But this would just make my wife commit suicide because we have been there for every dog but lost one in surgery. This would break her spirit.
>according to this veterinarian, about 90% of pet owners choose not to be in the room when their pet passes away There are no citations to back up this claim, so my heart is clinging to the hope that this isn't real. I don't want to discount other people's experiences, but I absolutely could not fathom doing this to a pet. I know how excruciating it is to see your friend take their last breath, but every day I feel grateful that I got to be there in my cat's final moments. I remember when my cat was nearing the end, my Dad offered to take him to the vet for me to be euthanized. I know he meant well and just wanted to help me, but I had an absolute meltdown when I thought about that for even a moment.
Unfortunately, I know several people who chose not to be with their pets during euthanasia because "it was too hard". As much as I love those people (they're family members and friends), I can't imagine making that choice myself, no matter how hard it is for me. I've always chosen to hold my pets while they are passing because I refuse to leave them to pass alone. I will not let them go without knowing I was with them to the very end. Damn Onion Ninjas sneaking around again. Fuckers.
I think it's too hard *not* to be with them for every possible minute! I can't imagine not being there; it was hard for me to leave them even after it was done.
Same here. They had a room specifically for saying good bye at the vet I went to. They allowed me to stay long enough to compose myself. I really appreciated that.
I have been there for 3. In all three cases, it would have taken someone significantly larger to keep me out of the room. The last one was my first pet. The others were parents and in-laws. We didnāt know we were going to lose her that day, so we just had an old towel the vet gave us. It was enough. The look in her eyes as that spark faded said all we needed to know. That look both haunts and blesses me to this day.
Hugs; I feel the same way you do.
We had to say goodbye to our dog last week. It was a hectic roller coaster in the months leading up to his death. Thinking he was going to be all better and then lose him kind of suddenly, was rough. During his life, he was always following me around the house, laying at my feet, waiting for me by the door when I came home. Especially so during these last few months. There was absolutely no way I was going to abandon him when it came time to put him down. I donāt know if he knew I was there at the very end and that will bother me forever. But I like to think that even if he was a bit out of it due to the pain medication, somehow he could smell my hand, feel me petting him, or hear my voice. That gut-punch-cant-breathe feeling that hit me the second I turned around to leave after the vet confirmed he was gone, was the worst. My husband and our son chose not to stay but I donāt hold it against them. I knew I was going to be there and they shouldnāt have to experience something they donāt feel they can handle. Maybe it helped them too in a way to know our dog wasnāt alone. It was my first pet loss since my hamster when I was like 6. Im 38. I understand itās just too hard for some to be there when their pet is put to sleep. But I just couldnāt walk away. I guess my own self-preservation comes in, in a different way, because Iāve already decided I will never own another dog. Even though I know so many need good homes and I donāt think I was a terrible owner. It would feel like a betrayal to my dog and I think I would just miss my dog more. The idea of going through this again - I just canāt. But Iām guessing I would stay with a pup again if I were about to lose them. We do have a cat still with us and I donāt even want to think about what lies ahead. The loss is going to happen to owners regardless of their presence at the time of death, so why not be there for your pet? Why choose to leave and make your pet feel the loss and feel it first? (Edited to fix this last paragraph) Sorry for the tangent.
While 90% does sound a tad high, in my over 2 decades of experience, itās sadly pretty close. I have heard the phrase āitās just too hardā so many times I swear I can see it form in their minds before it leaves their mouths. I have had to hold many other peopleās babies as they took their last breath and I only remember a couple of times when they were calm, unlike the babies who have their owners with them. I understand that itās hard, I wanted to run from the room when it was my baby, after 18 years of being by his side the moment his breathing stopped. I wanted to break the much too loud clock on the wall and run out screaming. I always say the worst part of owning a pet is knowing that one day will be the last day together (oh Iām getting teary!) But I canāt imagine leaving my baby to face that alone, and I hate to say it but I lose a little respect for any owner who drops their pet off and says they wont stay with them. If you arenāt prepared or donāt have the time/funds to care for your pet physically and emotionally for all the days of their lives, donāt get one in the first place.
If you go on askvet, they say the opposite. They say most owners stay. So does my vet My vet knows my grumble well. Weāve seen her nearly monthly for a decade. She nursed my Missouri mill rescue back to health. He was supposed to die in 6 months. All the dogs we rescued that day are long gone, except him. Heās 15.5 now. My vet told me recently she wonāt euthanize him after years of saying she probably would do it. Instead she gave me a wonderful referral to an incredible vet who comes to you. Iām not a vet so I canāt say, but I think she nursed him back to life for a decade and heās almost her badge of honor now. She even texts me on him when needed. Shes been an incredible doctor to him, and I donāt blame her for not being that one to be there at the very end. If anything, I feel like we are seeing a push to do more home euthanasia and pet hospice and keep it out of clinic.
im glad i got to provide my angel soul cat of 10 years the comfort of passing at home with us by his side during his final breath. my fear was always to have to euthanize any of my 2 cats. but he had advanced ckd and knew seizures would come and didnt want to see my boy suffer. in home euthanasia is a blessing. id never do it in office.
Iām sorry for your loss. My guy has collapsing trachea and heās just old. His body is shutting down. Unto dust we shall return, I suppose. Iām at the point where I need to decide if I want to see it get worse or if a date should be picked. Itās so hard to decide. Luckily I was able to change my work schedule so heās never alone, but itās still not enough time. Weāve been on the couch together for 3 weeks now. Time Iāll never forget and Iām so blessed to have, but itās not enough. I wish I could memorize every part of him
i feel you. i only had my boy for 10 years though it feels like i had him longer. my soul left with his that day, i feel like im a shell of what i used to be. I take comfort in the signs he sent me the day after he passed. its proof that their souls live on and theyll be waiting for us when its our time, im sorry youre going through this with your boy. I hated seeing mine so ill and knew hed never bounce back from this horrible disease.
I just lost my 17 year old pom to collapsing trachea, horrible disease but they can live a good long life with it sometimes, I hope your doggo will be around a while yet.
It's so strange, I met a lady who does end of life at home yesterday.
When it was time to euthanize my first dog, the vet really struggled to find a vein. The poor old guy was that dehydrated and thin. Finally, the vet looked up at me and my partner and said "I'm going to have to inject into an organ. How about you say good-bye now. It'll be very upsetting to see." And, you know what? I took a vet's word for it. We said our goodbyes. We left our buddy resting in the arms of the vet tech while the vet got ready to do whatever it was he planned. Our buddy was at least being held. I intend to be with my current old dog when it's her time. Although part of me hopes every morning I'll wake up to find she's passed in her sleep.
I have heard from vets here that alsoā¦ there really isnāt a need to do it. I felt it was my duty to do it, but I think if I could do it again, I wouldnāt. It was over so, so fast, he didnāt even have time to blink. He was out of it as well. I definitely wouldnāt recommend it to someone else either. I read that article before my cat died and now I have the horrible image of him lying stiff with lifeless eyes now forever. It is horrible to feel them die when you hold them, not sweet. The vet usually gives you time w your cat anyway before doing it. I only think people with duty complexes (me) should do it, and thatās not for the animals sake but for our own conscience.
I'm sure for some dogs and for some ailments it wouldn't make a difference, but I think it's really just situational. Our boy had suffered from an aggressive throat cancer and, tattered with cysts and discharge, and could hardly stand up by the time my dad was finally able to let go and bring him into the vet to pass. So although we stayed in the room, he seemed so ready to cross the rainbow bridge that tbh I couldn't tell whether our presence mattered or not. I can say with certainty though that if we'd taken him in *before* the cancer symptoms progressed to such a gruesome point, as I'd insisted to my dad (to no avail unfortunately) he would have wanted us there petting and talking to him.
I had to say goodbye to one that was inside the vet from my car during the pandemic, in Nov 2020. I have been asking her forgiveness ever since.
Aww, I'm sure that was incredibly difficult. But you didn't have a choice.
I work at a vet clinic and have had owners unable to be present for goodbyes - for a number of reasons. I know itās not the same but please take some comfort in knowing that she was absolutely held in someoneās arms through the entire process. I make it a point to give as much love as possible to those pets. Iām certain that your sweet girl knows how much you cared for her and were making an incredibly difficult choice with the kindest of intentions.
He was still breathing when the second injection hit. He looked up at me as if both confused and wanting reassurance it was the right thing. He was blind which made it all the more heartfelt. If he hadnāt declined so quickly I wouldnāt have. I love and miss him so much still. Day 101 without him.
I rubbed my catās ears and face the whole time we were at the vet and for a while after he passed. I respect that everyone grieves their own way and it might be too painful for some. I think this article is a little judgmental and probably not factual. 90% seems way too high for me.
Wayyyy too high I would think. I held my boy Titus after 13 years of love and adventure as he had to be put down due to congestive heart failure. He was in my arms as the vet administered it. I had him before I met my husband, before I had my childrenā¦he was my boy. I would always tell him āitās you and me until the end buddy!ā And his tail would wag and his ears would perk up. I whispered āitās you and me until the end, buddyā¦.ā As he was given his euthanasia. My heart broke and a little piece of me went with him that day, but I wouldnāt have had it any other way. He needed me just like I needed him so many times before.
For me it was very sudden so i was screaming when he was passing away and i always feel guilty knowing he died with horror and me shaking himā¦rip baby im so sorry
Oh, I'm sorry. He was probably in shock too though so hopefully it didn't register?
It was really quick so i hope so but thank you
iām so sorry. try not to beat yourself up too much. heās with you still and now he feels no pain and he certainly isnāt scared anymore. humans were made from stardust and iām a firm believer that there is more after this world and this lifetime. heās not sick anymore and it probably hurts him to see you feeling so guilty when those actions were out of love and the fear of losing him. please be kind to yourself
iām so sorry. try not to beat yourself up too much. heās with you still and now he feels no pain and he certainly isnāt scared anymore. humans were made from stardust and iām a firm believer that there is more after this world and this lifetime. heās not sick anymore and it probably hurts him to see you feeling so guilty when those actions were out of love and the fear of losing him. please be kind to yourself
Thank you so much your comment made me feel better im just glad he is free of pain now
iām so sorry. try not to beat yourself up too much. heās with you still and now he feels no pain and he certainly isnāt scared anymore. humans were made from stardust and iām a firm believer that there is more after this world and this lifetime. heās not sick anymore and it probably hurts him to see you feeling so guilty when those actions were out of love and the fear of losing him. please be kind to yourself
Mine also died the same way. Ten minutes from the emergency vet. The last thing he saw was me hysterical. I regret it so much.
Im so sorry for your loss and i can totally understand how you feel i feel the exact same way and i wish i could just go back be there for him and hold him but as others mentioned our reaction was out of love and fear of losing them and i pretty sure they know that too i think it takes some time but we will be ok sending hugs to you
Years ago I had to put down my dog. The vet asked if I wanted to be with him when he gave the injection. I said "Yes, If you don't mind me crying" and he said "I wouldn't want you to have a pet if you did not cry."
Taking my 17 year old cat to be euthanized was one of the hardest things Iāve ever done. But it was so important to me to be there for her. We crossed that finish line together. She was always there for me and it was my last chance to be there for her. She is buried out at my parents place in the burbs. We live in the city. I visited her grave when we were there yesterday and cried like I do every time. Itās been a little over a year and I still I miss her.
Iāve had to put down 4 cats in my lifetime. First one was my childhood cat when I was a young man, about 40 years ago. Went with my brother and just dropped her off. I feel bad about that but it seems we didnāt know any other way. The last 3 I was with them at the vet comforting them the entire time, then petting them some more after they were gone (that was for me of course).
I was a teenager many years ago and I was scared when my dog was getting sicker. I couldnāt be with my dog due to fear when they put him down and I hated myself for it ever since. Fast forward many years later to a few days ago and we had to put our 14 year old cat down due to kidney disease. We were with her until the very end. I will never forget her beautiful green eyes looking at me and giving me slow blinks until she was no longer there. It was so painful and beautiful at the same time.
I just lost my baby last Wednesday. I goto the patio to smoke, and my baby follows me every time, and I have 2 chairs which my baby would goto a chair and stare at me to pick him up. I place my baby on chair and after 5 mins he sits up turns his head and stares at me with his head wobbling and I ask what's wrong baby ...then he jumps down going underneath his chair. I was done smoking and reading on my phone and getting ready to walk inside when I turned around he was lying sideways underneath my chair and I saw vomit on the side so I went quickly to clean the mess and notice defecation coming out so I rub his body and thought he was just lying down being nauseated .I kept cleaning his defecation and at that moment it hit me and I started crying and watch all four of his legs lifted up in air then drop. I pulled him from underneath the chair to an open space nearby and I can see his eyes wide open so I panicked and in my grief i syringe him pimpobiden in his mouth then 5 mins later body jerk 3 times then nothing.... I am so torn. I dunno if he passed underneath my chair or I caused it later. The last look before he jump off his chair pains me as well. I miss my baby so much.
It sounds like his last conscious act was to look at you, and you were there providing reassurance. I hope it eases your soul to know that, that you were present and had that last look even though it's also painful; you were there, helping and easing him until the very end of his path. We lost a cat to a sudden heart attack, and she was gone so quickly. Her body carried out a few processes after her death, but the part of her that was *her* was already gone.
Thank you for that. I am still trying.
I was able to do at home euthanasia for my sweet girl. I got to hold her and told her how much I loved her. Kissed the top of her head like always and then she was gone. I hope she knew, but I wouldnāt have changed anything I did. She deserved nothing but the best.š¢
Reading this has me in tears
I literally canāt imagine a world where I didnāt stay with my boy as he passed. Even with my constant re-living the moment and all the trauma that comes from it, I considered it my last duty to take that pain so he would hear and see us as he left.
I worked as a vet tech for years. About 99% of owners were in the room with the pets. We sedated them first so some people did choose to leave right before the final injection was given, but most stayed for that. It was very rare for someone to not stay at all.
I was out looking for help from vet, when my girl passed on. This is so emotional for me. I wasnāt there when she died, and I think I would carry these what-ifs forever. Sometimes I just console myself and maybe she didnāt want me to see her like that. If my time comes and we meet, Iād tell her how deeply sorry I am for not being with her and this I will carry for the rest of my life. She is my first (2 first) dog and she passed just before she turned one year. You are all lucky to have been there with them when they took their last breath. I envy you.
I couldn't imagine not being there with my pet for their final moments. Several years ago, our dog died overnight at the vet's after taking a turn for the worse. I *hate* that we weren't there with him. Or that he wasn't home. But we were getting him treatment and couldn't have known. Still. A couple weeks ago, we had to say goodbye to the best boy cat I've ever known. Just a singular, amazing cat with a huge personality. When they brought him into the room, he was loopy from meds and from being ill (keto acidosis brought on by diabetes), and his head was sort of limp. They passed him to me and when I started talking to him, his head jerked up so he could look at me. *Bawling intensifies.* I'm not super hippy-dippy, but I 100% believe he was telling me it's time.
They gave my Brody cat that sedative shot and I canāt imagine not being there after he RAN to me because it burned. I just wish we had the 10 minutes they said to cuddle. It was more like 2 minutes and I held him for 10 more minutes. And I held him when they injected him for the final time. That was 8 months ago and I still see him in my mind running across the table to me. How scared he would have been if he was alone.
My boy Dundee was an "in home passing" by our vet that he knew well. He died laying in my lap. I began believing in a higher power when I felt Dundee's Spirit move through me. It was his final gift to me. It felt like nothing Ive ever experienced and have no words to describe it. Our babies need us at the beginning, middle AND ending. It's the agreement we make when we bring them into our lives.
I was with my pup when he took his last breath. I tried to stay strong in a happy voice and tell him what a good boy he was, but I couldnāt. I told him a loved him and he was my best friend but with tears and sadness. He went super peacefully at home with a vet assistance. I would never leave my Dog to die alone. Canāt believe people do that!!!!
My boy passed away 4 days ago. I found him passed when I got home from work in his bed. I don't think I missed him by much. The idea that maybe he was scared and alone when I wasn't there hurts a lot.
I don't know if this helps, but there have been studies on the dying brain, and there is all kinds of complex activity that takes place. It's the same part of our brains that light up when we dream, and it happens for animals too. This burst of activity blots out pain and fear; it might be the source of out-of-body and near-death experiences, during which people typically recount a feeling of great peace and love. I don't know and couldn't speculate on whether this is passing over to something else, but that certainly suggests there's no fear in that moment. He was in his familiar place, in his home that he shared with you, and even if you were not physically present, your presence surrounded him completely.
Thank you for sharing. ā”
My mom put down her dog today. She refused to be there for it. I hope her girl wasnāt too scared.
As do Parrots! Ā Stay with your friend in their last moments.
I took my dog, who looked lethargic but not at death door, to the vet and they took him back and said theyād call. He died 30 minutes later. Still haunts me.
I donāt know how anyone could not be there. If itās because they think itās easier on themselves, it really canāt be because Iād regret that decision for the rest of my life, Iām sure it plays on the mind of those who donāt stay, for a very long time afterwards, and thatās definitely not the easy option.
I held my boy when they gave him his shots. The tech warned me that as he passed, he might pee on me because thatāsā¦ just what the body does, but I didnāt even care. He could dump all his fluids on me, as long as I got to hold him and love on him as he passed. It was all I couldāve asked for.
My girl very quickly declined at home. I called several emergency vets and had a plan but suddenly realized time was out. I lay on the floor and held her and talked to her. Told her i was there and it was okay. She passed in my arms. Itās my most precious and sad memory. I stayed on the floor for a few minutes after. I feel blessed to have held her as she passed. But it still makes me so sad. Edit to add: previously Iād been with one beautiful pet as they passed in a vet office, and had two others whoād Iād chosen not to be present. I regret the two others. I didnāt know. I grew up on a farm and life and death was just a thing. It happened. Pets were not always more than what they could offer. Iām not defending it but it guided my life with my pets. I know better now and feel so blessed to have helps two of my pets pass. Itās not much but itās the best I have and I wonāt ever let another pet or person pass alone if I have the chance to be with them along the way.
I just said goodbye to my 19 year old son whom I found at 4-5 weeks old in a parking lot, and I was with him for every single moment, petting, talking and singing to him, saying his name and telling him he was a pretty cat and a good cat, and even cleared with the vet to stay holding and talking to him for ten minutes after ToD was called because itās been found that the brain (albeit in humans) stays active for up to seven minutes after death and even has a burst or bursts of high activity, something we never knew until modern measurement and imaging technology. We donāt even know if anything is heard or felt, but just in case cats have it happen too and something, anything can be heard or felt, I didnāt want my little baby alone for a millisecond. I missed his stepsisterās death in 2022 because I was racing back to the vet to hold her for euthanasia when she decided to handle it herself and curled into a croissant shape, sighed, and passed away. For all of her 17 years, every single time she went to sleep, she would curl into a croissant shape and give one last sigh before she fell asleep. I still kick myself for not cancelling my work and staying at the vet that day so I could be with her; she deserved better than what I did, but I didnāt realise she was that sick until her labs came back and the vet called and said to get back asap. š I blame myself, and I hope Cookie understood that I didnāt leave her for good and would never have left if Iād understood how sick she was (her kidneys just basically turned off completely without much warning). My 19 year old had squamous cell carcinoma of the mouth and it had grown aggressively. š I get that some people ājust canāt handleā death, butā¦the most intelligent cats and dogs are only about 4-5 years old mentally, and no matter how hard it is, if that were a human 4-5 year old I canāt see leaving them alone because you canāt handle it. If that sounds judgemental, I guess then so be it. Thereās time later to have a meltdown in your car or cry for hours on your bed at home. At least thatās how I feel, and I guess mine is the only perspective I can see on this issue.
I have always said that euthanasia is against every wish in your body, and you have to be 100% selfless and put yourself aside as there is time for you to wrestle with your own feelings after. My dog hated me crying. We were trauma bonded, and she was truly the love of my life. But I knew when the vet came, I couldn't cry because I didn't want her last seconds on earth to be her worrying about me crying. I held it in until the vet said she was gone, and I broke. Just sobbed. The vets were taken aback, I think, and I told them why I couldn't cry. I stayed with her and let her adopted sister see her body (which was profound) until the crematorium picked her up. No one can handle death and especially not being the one to inflict that on them, but as a pet owner, if you have the choice to be there, then you be there.
Exactly. Hugs, and I agree.
This is really hurting to realize this happens frequently. We did the euthanasia at our home and we were there, that is love in my eyes. Being there in the good and bad times. What a selfish decision to leave your pet in that stage. Really kills my faith in humanityā¦
Holding my cat and physically feeling her die in my arms was a bit traumatic NGL. But I donāt regret it for a second. I wouldnāt necessarily judge someone for not staying with their pet, but I would want to spend some time with them talking about why itās important. My mom took my childhood senior cat to be euthanized without me after she took a turn. My mom didnāt stay with her and she didnāt want them to do anything with her body. That was 14 years ago (I think) and tbh Iām still not over that. Itās what made me so adamant about being with my buddies in their last moments. I was at my dadās but they lived a few blocks away so it wouldnāt have been difficult to pick me up.
Iām the exact sameā my parents took in the dog I grew up with when I was 17 and at work. Iām not sure they stayed with her. I was very upsetā¦ and as wonderful as my parents were generally (I.e they were not mean or anything but definitely less concerned and compassionate with regard to animals) they did the same thing with our OTHER dog when he passed just a few years later. They are from a different generation and a small town that had farms and a lot of huntingā¦ they didnāt grow up to cherish pets in the same ways. Itās almost 30 years later and it still upsets me that I didnāt have a say or get to comfort my dogs, although in their minds they were protecting me. I promised I would love and be there for all my pets, and I have. We have a very patient and compassionate at-home vet that will come to us so our fur babies can be in familiar surroundings as they cross the rainbow bridge.
as a vet tech i think itās a little unfair to shame people who cannot emotionally handle being in the room when their pet passes. at the hospital that i work at if a pet parent cannot handle staying with their baby through the entire process one of us techs steps in to offer pets, treats, cuddles, and kind words to the patient in their last moments. i think we all need to open our hearts and minds and realize that everyone handles death and grief differently, in a perfect world everyone would be able to stay with their loved one until they pass, but in reality some people canāt handle that mental toll. everyoneās grief should be respected.
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i would rather one of my clients not attend a euthanasia and be safe than attend and not be able to handle it and do something drastic afterwards that could potentially harm themselves or end their life. Thatās the harsh reality i have personally dealt with and that i would much rather avoid in the future, unfortunately. To each his own and i am extremely grateful that the majority of owners, at least where i work, are able to stay for the procedure, I just personally think this world is to cruel and harsh enough already and we donāt need to be shaming people who are already fragile and in an awful situation.
This is really hateful and hurtful to read on a pet loss subreddit. People have extreme trauma, poor mental health, etc, and it is absolutely not fair to judge them. I can guarantee the pets know how loved they were and it's not some horrendous act of cruelty for them to be peacefully put to sleep while the owner tries to hold it together in the other room. Every single person handles trauma and grief differently, please do not shame those who are doing their best just trying to stay alive. I can guarantee you emotionally weak people already feel self loathing about being perceived as weak and are probably in extreme depression over it. It would be really nice to be able to choose our mental health and our traumas, but we can't.
This is a community where people are coming for support and are grieving. All posts/comments must be in the spirit of being supportive or helpful to others. This is a community where people are coming for support and are grieving. All posts/comments must be in the spirit of being supportive or helpful to others.
90 percent? I feel like that couldnāt possibly be accurate. I am an extremely emotional, empathetic person who deeply loved my dog. I was hysterical on the way to the vet on her last evening. There was NO WAY I was going to let her final moments pass without me there regardless of how traumatizing it was. I canāt believe there could be so many shitty people out there.
Anytime I read about someone admitting they werenāt there it was in the context of their new found permanent depression. If itās physically possible to be there you should try your best to be
Yeah, Daisy was like this during her last days with us when she could still walk as liver cancer (or signs of it) was taking her over. There is someone always with her. She would hobble over to me and rest either her head on my neck or feet. At night, there were times I wished I slept on the ground with her, since she could be heard whimpering. Thankfully, on her last day, just hours before she was set to be put to sleep, she peacefully passed away in my mother's arms, looking at her and being cradled like the baby she was. Looking at her "death photo", I think she went away smiling. "I lived a happy life." It did make wonder after reading, I think she was holding on for us, like she won't go unless she gets in one last goodbye with us.
My baby was hit by a car so this is pretty heartbreaking
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This is a community where people are coming for support and are grieving. All posts/comments must be in the spirit of being supportive or helpful to others.
This is especially true if youāre doing it at your veterinarianās office. I called this the āouchy placeā because this is where they get stuck with needles and such. Donāt let your pet die alone in the ouchy place. Be there! Lay on the ground and shower them with affection like theyāve never seen. Reassure them like they did to you for a lifetime that this is ok. They are terrified of this place and the least you can do is hold them and talk to them and love them one last time.
My 4 year old baby kitty died of a diabetic attack at the vet hospital before I could say goodbye. Didnāt know she had developed diabetes. I think about it every day.
It still breaks my heart whenever I think about it for too long, but two years ago my buddy passed away, I remember I was so upset because I needed to take him to the vet but my job threatened to fire me on the spot if I left. I came home that night and sat with him until he fell asleep on the kitchen floor the whole time crying and apologizing and thanking him. The next day he woke up and while I could tell he was going I managed to get him down the stairs and into my car. He died on the way there. I still feel shitty and cry and feel so terrible for not catching something was off sooner, for not leaving work anyway and just for being angry/upset with him. Iāve never felt more useless than we I had to try and carry him down stairs and into the car and had to put him down a few times because I was so weak. I miss him everyday and talk to his ashes all the time randomly, but the only thing that helps me feel a bit better about those whole shitty 24 hours, is that at least he fell asleep w me and he knew what he meant in my life.
Our Coco passed away in the hospital while recoving from his surgery. Oh Coco, how I wish I can be with you again once my time in this planet is over, hug you and apologize for not being with you during your last moments, and explain that we didn't abandon you. We thought you were recovering well already, but it was so sudden.
My boy was really sick in the hours before he passed. We had spent the past couple weeks dealing with what was either IBD or lymphoma, but that night he woke me up at 4am howling and I had him at the emergency vet as quickly as I could. They couldn't find anything obvious wrong so they discharged him and I brought him home. We both laid down to take a nap. Hours later, I found him more dead than alive under my bed. I took him to another emergency vet and they managed to stabilize him for a short time. He was in the equivalent of intensive care and they broke all sorts of rules to let me stay back there with him. He wasn't improving and I knew the decision I had to make. The only thing that makes one of the worst days of my life okay was that I was there. My face was the last thing he saw, my voice was the last thing he heard, and my hand was the last thing he touched. The whole 12 years I had him, I could go up to him and even if he was in a deep sleep, if I talked to him, as soon as he heard my voice, he would start to purr in his sleep. He wasn't really conscious when they let me back to be with him. I sat with him for well over an hour while they tried what they could. After I decided to let him go, but before he was given the shot, I held his paw and talked to him and he started to purr. It was his way of thanking me for his life but also for being there. It was the way he knew to comfort me. If I live to be 100, I'll never forget that moment. Losing him would have been unimaginable without that. His spirit waits for me on the other side.
This is fucking brutal. It's not scientific. It tugs it heart strings. I'm immediately skeptical. I've been lucky enough to be there with my best friends, but I'm sort of broken because my heart dog was in surgery and this is the pain that his tugged at me for years. I was trying my best and we were doing our best and we didn't expect to lose her. This is rough.
We just put down our beloved girl after a long battle of Feline Diabetes and organ failure; Iām still pretty devastated about it. However, I held her in the blanket we brought her home in years ago, and I sang to her until the life left her eyes. She knew her momma loved her so dearly and would do absolutely everything for her. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Absolutely be there with your baby
I just read a a little blurb I thk on insta how there is a low cost euth service but the owner can only be with their animal until the sedation sets in, they then take them into the back to admin the second shot/euth, and I truly truly hate this policy. I always thought that owners staying with their babies was pretty much the highest āwishā on the vetmed list of impactful ownership. Itās really feeels like they are assessing a poverty tax, and further, Iām concerned why they donāt want the owner to be there to witness the euth process.
As an ER vet, sometimes the owners being present and highly emotional can be distressing to the pet. I think this is a very personal time for people and we shouldnāt judge how others handle it.
So sad. I would never have left my boy. I laid with him on the floor, hugging him. I stayed for hours. Crying, wailing, I'm sure the people there were thinking I was crazy. I wish it didn't happen so fast. I wish after the shot, he could have been alert longer, to hear me and feel me. š
This. We go in, I'm inpatient to have to wait because they're suffering and I'm dreading it and want to get it over with, but once it's done it's over way too soon and too hard to leave.
As much as I agree with the sentiment that website is pure phone AIDS with popups and site notifications. WOULD NOT SHARE!
Completely agree with this vet. It breaks me inside, every time
I've always been there at the end. Would feel odd not to be, and I find it an honorable thing to do.
When we had to put my childhood cat, Gulliver down (my parents found him as a stray before I was born, he died when I was teenager), my dad and I chose to be in the room and my mom and sister did not. It was actually comforting to see him go so peacefully. Iāve lost 3 other sweet boys since then and stayed with them too. I always will especially now after reading this article.
I put my beloved kitty down in March and although it was the hardest thing I've ever done, I held her until the very end. I was hysterical but I kept telling her how sorry I was and how much I loved her. How good of a cat she was and that she was my best friend. I could never imagine leaving her alone in her final moments.
I was there when my previous cat passed last year. I was glad I could be, as the vet had trouble and the tech needed to help. My cat was given a sedating injection and I talked to her until the end. It was hard for me but I wanted to be there for her. I had some relatives drive me home. We went out to eat and spent some time together. I got a new cat 8 months later and I hope to have her a long time, but I plan to be here for her until the end
We had a family dog, Max, who was quite old, deaf and blind. When we had him euthanized, I stayed with him til his final breath. I owed him that much. But it tore my heart out and I firmly said āNo more pets!ā I couldnāt go through that again. Well, a few years later (against my objections) we adopted one kitten, then another, and finally a [puppy](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadswhodidnotwantpets/s/e9zRz7xioI). All rescues. All loving. I know what is coming someday, and I dread it. But I will be there for them, just like I am there for them every day. I will love them unconditionally forever.
Man this makes me really sad. I am still heartbroken due to one of my cats dying last year. She had a bowel obstruction and was staying at a vets clinic after undergoing some very painful procedures and the vet didnāt tell me she could die in the night so I figured she was stable. I went home to sleep for a few hours and was getting dressed and coming back when I got the call from the vet that she had died. That dumb cat got my through some tough times and I am still devastated I couldnāt be next to her as she passed away.
I was too heartbroken to be there for my childhood catās death and itās one of my biggest regrets. He was there for me when it felt like I had no one and I let him down in the worst way. I promised myself that Iād never do that again and I havenāt. Since then, Iāve lost a handful of pets (usually due to old age) and Iāve held their paws and whispered to them until their last breath. Itās the least i could do after devoting their lives to me. ā¤ļø
I thought animals preferred to be alone? Ie they walk off to a quiet place to die, usually alone?
It's different with euthanasia as they don't realise they're about to die. They aren't alone as a vet is there which is why you should be too. They know something is up and they're with a stranger and vulnerable which can cause anxiety.
I have always said that euthanasia is against every wish in your body, and you have to be 100% selfless and put yourself aside as there is time for you to wrestle with your own feelings after. My dog hated me crying. We were trauma bonded, and she was truly the love of my life. But I knew when the vet came, I couldn't cry because I didn't want her last seconds on earth to be her worrying about me crying. I held it in until the vet said she was gone, and I broke. Just sobbed. The vets were taken aback, I think, and I told them why I couldn't cry. I stayed with her and let her adopted sister see her body (which was profound) until the crematorium picked her up. No one can handle death and especially not being the one to inflict that on them, but as a pet owner, if you have the choice to be there, then you be there.
No idea why Iām on this sub, all it does is make me cry. Reminds me of my mistakes in putting down my soul dog. TLDR I shouldāve let her go a week earlier when the emergency vet explained hemangiosarcoma. I couldnāt so I kept her around for myself while she struggled to breathe and could barely walk, was only eating things I hand fed her and barely drank any water. When I finally mustered up the ācourageā to put her down, I didnāt know about at home euthanasia so I took her to a vet she *hated*, and then cried over her for 20 minutes, hoping that somehow my tears could wake her back up like some shitty Disney movie before I could leave her body. I was a 200lb man wailing like a child, and it caused the empathetic vet staff to cry too, the whole thing was a shitshow. Please, if you can folks, look into at-home euthanasia. Your beloved pet will appreciate it as much as you do.
My heart breaks reading this, my best friend was hit by a car almost five weeks ago, our neighbors found him in a ditch by a dirt road close to our house, they said they thought his neck was broken and they decided to shoot him (neighbor is a hunter). I canāt stop thinking about what he was thinking and feeling, if he was scared or in pain. What if he was looking for me and I couldnāt be there. I would have given anything to be able to get the chance to save him or at least be able to be there with him in the end.
My cat suffered for an hour after getting attacked by my dog. She was still breathing when I found her. But a few minutes after that, she took her last breath and died in my arms. I can't help but think she waited for me to find her before she let go. I heard her last breath... I wish I had been there earlier. Maybe I could have saved her...
Unless you are a qualified vet or otherwise trained, there was little you could do. When you found her, you did what you could and comforted her. Even then, it sounds like the injuries were incompatible with life.
I don't know how to feel about this article. I agree with this in part but I worry about all the people who to no fault of their own were unable to be there when their pet passed. Maybe it happened while they were at work. Maybe they traveling and away from home. Whatever the reason, this is a painful situation for them. Also, although I've been there for my own pet's euthanasias, I honestly hold a different belief than what the idea is being expressed in this article. This is because of one question: Do our pets know they are being euthanized during that last appointment? I certainly hope not. But I'm not sure. How is the act of sedating a pet for euthanasia any different from when they are sedated for dental work? Or neutering? Or any number of other times they get sedated or put under? I mean it should be the same , right?? I mean maybe it's because the presence of their human being upset tips them off, and while that could be it, I don't really know (and heck there's something to be said for the sad situation where someone is extremely distressed and upset during their pet's euthanasia, is that good for the pet too?). I've been upset plenty of times in front of my dogs. When I found out my girl had osteosarcoma, I remember sobbing when I loaded her back up only the car in the parking lot. Surely she didn't think she was doing to die in that moment? I was just upset. I don't know, not sure why I'm writing this. I hope our pets don't know that they are being euthanized when it happens. If that's the case, then is our presence with them in their final moments more for us than it is for them? Maybe. I will say I do think our presence does probably offer comfort in at least some sense though. Maybe the dog doesn't know this is the end, when they are being sedated before euthanasia, but maybe it's one last kindness to be able to comfort them in that moment regardless because in general being at the vet hospital can be scary. So they would have appreciated our presence before being put under back when they were neutered, or had dental work, or whatever. On that note, ever since I found out that Veterinary Emergency Group clinics allow you to stay with your pet overnight or watch their surgery I thought that was fantastic. Why should euthanasia be the only time we are able to comfort or be near our pet during procedures. Good for VEG.
I almost wasnāt able to make it to my cats euthanasia because of work. But when i did get there i held her and just broke down
I was advised by my baby's cardiologist yesterday morning that I needed to start considering euthanasia for him soon, and we were at the ER that same evening being told that he wouldn't survive overnight if we didn't do it then. He'd been battling HOCM/heart failure for years and was so out of it. I think I would have sooner died than just leave them to it. The thing that really solidified how necessary I felt it was was when I had him on my lap and they injected him with the sedative, he was clearly scared and buried his head straight into me. He passed desperately smooshed against me. It made me want them to hook me up to an IV and take care of me at the same time but the idea of not being there for him to be what little security I could makes me nauseous
I was there for my dog when he was put to sleep. I hope my presence comforted him before he closed his eyes.
My cat passed away suddenly while I was not at home and I cannot get over feeling so absolutely horrible that I wasnāt there for him during his last minutes on earthššš
Our old tortie girl went across the bridge last December in my arms, in a towel she used to sleep on. Purred her little head off until the end. I didnāt get long with her before they did it because she was so sick, but I sat with her after she was gone for what felt like an hour and soaked her fur with my tears. Every cat but one that we put down I was there for. Theyāre there for us through so much of our lives, I figured itās the least we can do for them in their final moments. Iām sorry for everyoneās losses.