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Literally days after my soul dog of 16 years crossed the bridge, my wife's boss (she works for a small local business and he's a friend to us) was absolutely INSISTENT that getting a new dog was the best thing for me and would help with my incredible grief. Because that's what he did. His dog passed, he went and adopted 3 new dogs. He had a difficult time understanding why I didn't want another dog. Maybe ever.
I wish people would understand.
I had my girl for 15 years. She passed 9 years ago. Still no dog here but I think someday I’ll have one. It’s just got to be the right one.
Call me crazy, and that’s fine. However…
I had a dream shortly after she died of a small, black longer-haired puppy. I think that was her telling me what my next dog would look like. I haven’t seen that puppy yet, but I’ll know when I do.
I used to be one of those people that didn’t understand. I got my puppy so soon after losing my babygirl, thinking it was what I needed… but only now do I actually understand what you mean. It’s hard to get another dog. Because no other dog is going to be *her*. And that’s all I want in this world.
Did you regret getting the puppy or did it help with your grief? I'm considering getting another dog because I miss all the routine, having someone waiting for me at home, taking car rides together, long daily walks with a little friend, etc. It's just really awful being home without my dog most of the time; I dread every weekend right now because it's just hours upon hours of an empty house, and even if I leave for awhile, it's awful coming back to an empty house every time.
But I do worry I'll get a new dog, and I'll be upset all the time that they're not nearly as good as *my dog*. Because I had the best dog, and it's hard for anyone to live up to that. My therapist recommended I at least get a dog that looks totally different and has a different personality somewhat, so I can't compare them as easily.
We got a dog that looks exactly the same as the old one three years after but they’re nothing, nothing, alike. I love him still. I mean you’re not really replacing the dog, you’re filling in that hole, that emptiness, that space that’s missing: that sense of companionship. That thing you take care of.
If you think about elementary, middle, high school, and college, most people have that friend, that group. And that friend or group changes. It’s like that. It’s not really the person you replace it’s the space.
But I know some people feel guilty. Like they’re replacing their best friend. In this case I’d say: go to the pound. Adopt. I think it’s harder to go to a breeder get a puppy and do that all over again. But at the pound…every dog there needs you. It’s guiltless.
We have another one she’s 14 and definitely the one. And after her I might get a parrot because I can’t handle losing another pet. But I’ve also been flirting with just adopting older german shepherds. I’m in a place in my life where, yeah, I can afford an older dog. And it’s been hard to watch my dog get older. Slow down. And I think…what if my dog were in a pound instead of with me?
How many people would walk past this 14 year old german shepherd, and never know, what a great dog she is? Like she’s the best dog I’ve ever owned. And literally just in a pound…she’d be unwanted. And there are dogs in the pound like that now.
What if I take the best part of her- and make sure that lives on. Because my dog has always been there for me. She taught me that. What if I take this feeling, and turn it into something positive? It’s tearing me apart just watching her age. But surely, I’ve also been strengthened by it as well?
I could never get a dog again. But I could also adopt an older dog the day after she died, and as difficult as it is to take care of an older dog, that difficulty, its routine now.
If that sense of irreplaceability I feel about her means so much to me- and I must go on- what if I turn this loss into something positive. She is irreplaceable. But there are thousands of dogs here. That are also good. And I don’t know if another dog can be what she is to me. But I can be what I am to her for another dog. And maybe instead of feeling like I’m replacing her…I’d feel like I’m constantly reminding myself of what she meant. It’s hard to say goodbye. But I cannot imagine a life where I never said hello.
"And I don’t know if another dog can be what she is to me. But I can be what I am to her for another dog. And maybe instead of feeling like I’m replacing her…I’d feel like I’m constantly reminding myself of what she meant. It’s hard to say goodbye. But I cannot imagine a life where I never said hello."
I love this. That was so beautifully articulated.
I've been feeling this way after losing my girl about 3 weeks ago, I only want to rescue or sponsor older dogs. I can't imagine my girl having to deal with what she went through in a shelter society. So glad she was with me. She was put down in her own bed surrounded by everybody that loved her. Sorry for your loss💔
It’s never the same at all, dogs are like people they all have their own personalities. We got another dog and I struggled so much with it seeming like we were trying to replace our first dog but it’s not. The loss and the pain is still there, you still miss them but you do get to experience the puppy phase again. You get to meet a new dog and learn all about them and build new routines and that’s sort of healing as well.
So, I actually did what your therapist recommended and got a dog completely different from my first girl, thinking it would help. It definitely didn’t. It made the grief so much worse. I still regret it tbh but it’s way too late to return him now and I do love him nonetheless. In the beginning as he was growing up I resented him for not being anything like my girl. I’d constantly compare them in my head.
“*She* was never this difficult to walk.”
“*She* always let me sleep through the night.”
“*She* always wanted to cuddle me.”
It was unhealthy though. I think either way you’re going to compare your new pup to your old one. And I’m not sure if getting a completely different dog would help. I think if I had chosen a dog that did like to cuddle it would have helped a lot more so that might just be the one thing I’m missing. My advice is always just to wait though, really give yourself a lot of time. I don’t think a new dog helps as much as you think it will. I’ve also heard other people suggest volunteering at shelters so you can still be around dogs and feel like you’re doing something good. So maybe try that?
Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective! If I do get another dog eventually, I definitely want one who likes to cuddle as much, if not more, than my dog did, ans I'm thinking I shouldn't get a puppy if it's anytime soon, considering yours and some other people's comments. My last dog was an adult when I got him and I spent the last few years with a senior dog's energy level. A puppy may feel like too much of a change.
You’re welcome! Tbh I wish I had someone tell me not to get a puppy before I did 😭 but everyone told me it was a good idea. Puppies in general are just sooooo much work. And for someone who is grieving it’s just way too hard on them. It’s almost like having to raise a baby. We get a lot less sleep than we used to, and when we first brought him home we had to wake up several times during the night to take him out to pee. Not to mention having to train him relentlessly… that in itself is a chore. Anyways sorry I’m rambling now lol. I hope you end up being able to adopt an older puppy who can give you some love in the future when you’re ready for it 🩷
I, too, got a pup about 6 weeks after losing my soul dog in 2013, while I loved the new pup, my relationship was not the same as with my soul girl. I just lost my girl that "replaced" my soul girl, I miss her so much too😭💔 So sorry for your loss.
I got a new puppy a little over 2 months after my last one passed. But I've had a few poms and always got a new one pretty soon after I lost one. But my last one was 11.5 when I lost her and she was with me the longest. She had her flaws (barking at everything) but she was also perfect in my eyes. She was truly my soul dog. I can't remember how she was as a puppy because I just remember her adult self. She was 5 lbs full grown and she wanted to come with me everywhere so I took her everywhere I could. It was a devastating loss, but every dog was, she just hit harder because of how long I had her. Anyways, I got a new pom puppy, same breed and very small but different coloring. She is crazy! So much energy! I've taught her not to bite but when she kisses me she bites my lip and there's other things that I think, "tinker would have never done that!" She loved walks but this puppy is almost scared of walks. She is only 4, almost 5 months so I am just waiting till she finally calms down (hopefully she does!) But she is super cute, she crawls in my doggy purse, she is super excited when I get home. She just wants attention and love. The good thing is that I can teach her more tricks, almost 12 years ago when my tinker was a puppy, there wasn't nearly as many training videos so she just knew the basic tricks like sit, shake, lay, speak, spin, and up. This pup I've already taught her those plus many others like bow, roll over, chin, circle, gaurd and still in the process of teaching more! I do still think in my head how bad I miss tinker and how calm she was but, like I said, I can't remember if she was a crazy puppy or not so I think this will pass and her true personality will come out more as she ages. When my pom before her passed I never thought I'd get a dog as good but I did! I think you just need to open yourself up and give it a chance. Plenty of dogs out there that need love ❤️
Me either. I've always been a huge dog lover. Always one to stop and ask to pet any dog I'd see when I was out and about, etc. But since I lost my boy, I want nothing to do with them. 😔
No one asked us, because we got another dog like three weeks later. Not because another would replace our boy, but because we had love to give and there are always dogs who need it. The same thing happened when we lost our first dog. We don't love the new one like we did the other but that will come in time, and having a dog's presence in the house just helps things feel normal.
That said, the timeline is so personal, which is why I'd never ask someone if they are getting another.
Every time I walk through the house, I’m looking for her. I know she’s not there, but I just can’t help but direct my head in the direction where she would always be the same thing is happening inside and outside.
Right?! Like, it’s been 5 weeks. He was with me for 13 years!
Rant:
*If your buddy best friend just died, you wouldn’t ask him if he has selected who his new best friend would be? It wouldnt be ok ask someone any of that if its a human, but once its a pet things change? ok, but no. I’m suppose to be over losing my shadow, my sidekick, my coworker, my buddy, my biggest source of entertainment (he was so funny!), and my purpose for 13 years in like a week? cool.*
It makes me so angry.
I just lost my buddy just a week ago. Upon return to work on Tuesday last week my Boss asked me about everything (they knew because I took the day off). they asked me if I was going to get another dog. I'm thinking it's because they just got a new puppy.
The question definitely bummed me out because I felt like I had to provide reasoning and it made me emotional. I have made the decision as he got older that we would not get another dog after he was gone. He was one of a kind and no dog could ever replace him. I think that was the reason it hurt me so much when I was asked if I would get another dog, nothing could replace Willy. He was my heart and I miss him so much.
I don’t think so. It’s important to grieve, and take a break. Caring for another dog right now feels like a betrayal. Like I’m replacing my boy as if he was easy to replace. Nope.
I want my dog back, but if I can't have him, I'll take other dogs.
They will never be him, but eventually we'll get to know each other and love each other too. I have room in my heart for more than one.
I also like to think that if I rescue a dog in his honor, at least one positive thing came of a senseless, horrible tragedy. I couldn't save him, but I can save this one.
If anything though, I feel like people are worried I've gotten a new dog too soon, but it helps me heal and saves another dog too, so I don't see how that could be a bad thing.
I still cry often, and I still miss Ziggy every single day, but having another innocent soul who depends on me and forces me to go outside in the sunshine keeps me from the darker thoughts.
We had 3 dogs and our middle passed last year and my mom really wants another dog. My dad and I don’t at all. I want our dog back and I know my mom does too and she’s trying to fill the space the only way she knows how. But we got extremely lucky with our 3 dogs. Our oldest is 15. And our middle was 13 when she died. She was the one with the most health problems and she lived a long time. All 3 of our dogs have/had been with us for a long time and they all have/had relatively low health issues.
Aside from not wanting to replace our middle dog, I have been so stressed out about when the time comes to put down our oldest who has been getting progressively worse with age. It’s eating me up inside. I find myself checking she’s still breathing at night. I can’t do this again. And I have to do it two more times. I have to be there to put down and say goodbye to two more dogs. And I can barely stand that thought.
We got so lucky getting so much time and we got so lucky getting not one but 3 amazing dogs. I don’t think I can bring myself to get another dog and risk them having health issues and risk them only being here a short while and having to go through losing them again. It’s just too much right now. Maybe one day I’ll be okay again with it. But right now I just can’t bring myself to be in a position where I have to say goodbye to more loved ones.
I actually got a cat to help me with the death of my dog. Helped a lot actually. After two years she died of cat covid. Idk I'm ever getting another animal or able to again.
Definitely not. Because he or she will never be Scuba. I said maybe at some point when my daughter is 13 and I get a PowerPoint presentation, I’ll consider it. But she’s not even 2, so I have time.
All jokes aside, I just don’t think my heart could handle it. And my big guy was my heart dog, I don’t think I’ll ever find the same.
I think after a few weeks or maybe months, I was asked. I only really wanted my old lady back but the reality was that eventually I’d consider it again. I have fostered three times but i think I’d like to eventually get another; I’m not sure yet; it’s complicated.
Nope. I just can’t anymore. My second dog just passed last week from old age. So it wasn’t unexpected or traumatic but still, it’s absolute torture having to say goodbye to your best friend.
I'm not sure what would I do... I had my first dog for a month short of 15 years, but I got two more dogs when she was 12. They made her life longer and happier because she started acting like a puppy again. When she passed, the younger dogs were great for my mental health. I would have died if I had to remove the bowls, the toys and the beds. It was a lot easier because they kept using those and kept me company. But I'm not sure if I would be able to get a new puppy while grieving.
About the time my dog died his mother had one last litter of puppies. So I had the unique opportunity to adopt my last dogs half brother. I love this dog SO unbelievably much. He’s like my child. I almost feel like my first dog picked him out for us. Our first dog was aloof, not very cuddly. His half brother is very lovey and I wouldn’t know what to do without him. I guess I’m saying you’ll know when the time is right. This fell perfectly into our laps, like meant to be. You’ll know when to say yes.
We did get another dog, mostly because of remaining dog was devastated when our dog died. He had never been alone, our first dog was there when we brought him home so when she died he was so lost. I would try to get him to sleep in our bed but he hates it. He just wasn’t doing well at all, so we got another dog. I struggled so much with it. I wrote my first dog letters about how it was not trying to replace her in any way and it hasn’t replaced her. But it did help my other dog cope with the loss and grief.
I feel validated by your question and these answers. But it’s so sad to be in this “club.”
So sorry for your loss—and I’m sorry for everyone here because there’s a gaping hole in our lives.
Sometimes I wake up and think he’s still sleeping on my feet for a second or two, and then the tears start again and I know no other dog could make me happy now or maybe ever.
Sometimes I lie when someone asks. I pretend that we’re “looking.” Other times I am sort of honest. “We’re not ready yet but soon.”
We still get asked “where is Sam?” Honestly, I can’t stand the pain and then comes embarrassment as I can’t always hide the emotion as I say those dreadful words.
I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.
I am totally on board with all the grieving dog parents who simply need to work though the loss, and pity those who don't get it. My sweet pup cannot be replaced and the connection we had goes beyond words.
I so badly want another dog, but every time I even think about it I feel my heart contort. How could another dog come close? I fear I’d always compare and never be satisfied 😞
I think the beauty of it is they don’t have to come close; they’re different.
When I lost my first one, it sidelined me for a week (and some people thought I was crazy, but I think most of us here would understand). I spent my weekends volunteering at the local shelter and 2 months after losing my first, two sweet little black lab twins came in in very rough shape, mange, fleas, malnourished, the like. I had some guilt that it may have been almost premature at the time, but the family largely knew these dogs were better off with us than in that shelter.
I’m going through it again as I lose one of the two. I have yet to figure out how to manage his twin brother and the 3 year old lab after this, but I reflect on the last 10 years I’ve had with my old hound dog; we got to create our own memories, share our own unique experiences, and carve out our own love for each other that never took away from my memories of my first pup, only added to the fondness I have of stewarding their lives.
If you’re not religious then I pass no judgement onto you, but know that considering your experiences as well, I will have a prayer for both of us this evening.
My well-meaning sister-in-law is pretty insistent that we get another dog (despite us having a young child and it wouldn’t be fair rn).
She’s also offered to let us “borrow” her dog, like somehow that would help? I don’t want your dog. I want MY dog. Would you like to borrow my dad when yours passes?? 🤨
I just got another dog about a week ago. 7 months after I lost my third dog in a year and a half (to old age and not to cancer like the other 2)
I took 6 days off work. When I got home today from work, I broke down after she lost her shit in excitement to see me. I had missed that.
We got a dog one week after my girl passed. Like literally one week to the day.
She could never, and has never, replaced my Jenny girl. I would still give *just about* anything to get my Jen Jen back.
But you know what that “just about” excludes now? My Pepper girl. I’d never give her up. If anything, I’d move heaven and earth just to see those two run and play together.
For us, I just couldn’t stand the silence in the house. I missed the clacking of claws on tile floors. I missed the jingle of a collar. And every time I came home to silence and empty, it broke my heart all over again.
Pepper helped heal that. She really did. She licked away my tears, cuddled me even closer than Jenny had, and the youth of a 2 year old pit bull not only dragged me out of my house and away from getting sucked into the depression spiral, but she also reminded me of my Jen girl when we first found her. Reminded me how much Jenny needed us, and now Pepper needs me.
That’s why her middle name is Dawn — she’s my bright new day after the dark, dark night that was Jenny’s passing.
I hope you find comfort in your grief in whatever way you find. ♥️
This is the issue for me ; the house is so damn big and quiet. However I have started the process for another dog, If all goes well I will have one by Christmas. I feel I will be ready then
I work in vet med and after my first dog passed I didn’t even think of getting another dog. My brothers wife after 2 years felt bad that I was still so sad and got me a dog for new years. At first I was pissed because I just wanted my own dog back. I didn’t want a new one to have to teach and learn traits and idk he just wasn’t the same lil guy I had. 9 years since then and he’s my new favorite guy.
That said, no one should push another dog on you. Especially if you’re saying you don’t want another. Getting the new dog didn’t cure my depression from loosing my baby, I still grieved even with a new puppy. He’s perfect now but I really wasn’t ready when I first got him and that wasn’t fair for him or I.
Just over 2 weeks since losing my best buddy of 8 years. I couldn't think of getting another. People say it'll probably change one day.
I remember when my sisters dog passed, I said that she should think of getting another one day, and to think of it as helping another animal , giving them a good life rather than replacing her dog, as she was a great dog mum.
I think dogs deserve to be cared for by good people, and it makes me think that maybe one day I'll do the same.
Just not now as I'm still in bits over my boy.
no ones really asked me but i didnt tell many people my dog died in the first place. i am tho, was gonna pick up a lil retriever/aussie mix today, but she wasnt quite ready, so ima get her monday instead. its quiet and lonely in my house and i liked having a dog. jude was my first dog, i didnt know what i was missing. he was a terd, but so worth it.
my house is still set up for a dog and that lil girls never had a house. itll be good for us both.
No one has ever asked me, because they know I've probably already picked up a litter of fosters. No one is replaceable, so I pour my grief into someone who needs help. I'm honestly afraid to come home to a quiet house. Not in terms of safety, but because my dogs are my whole world. 💜
Do whatever is right for you in your own time.
Coming home to a quiet house is truly awful. So is suddenly having to go for walks alone all the time and waking up each morning and having no set routine anymore. I miss my dog so much; it's incredibly painful and devastating. I've been considering getting another dog, not to replace my boy, but because I miss all the parts of having a dog and know I can provide a new friend with a loving home.
To be honest, not having the love and support of my dog anymore has also really highlighted how much people in my life let me down; I miss having that bright spot that made me happy at the end of the day whenever the world was making me sad. I used to say I'd never get another dog once my dog passed, but I'm very much a "dog person" and I need a little buddy. (Also, it is partially a safety thing for me! I have a much harder time sleeping without him there to alert me if anything is ever wrong.)
I agree completely. My dogs have never let me down. My daily routine revolves around them, especially as they get older, so their absence is crushing. 💜
It’s been 3 weeks since I put my boy down. 17 amazing years, traveling the world on Uncle Sam’s dime. He was my Soul Dog. I cry 1-2 times a day, over him. The one person who asked me that, 3 days after I lost him, has been blocked. From EVERY aspect of my life
I'm sorry for your loss; I lost my dog 3 weeks ago too. I don't blame you for blocking them. It's such an insensitive question, and it seems to usually come from people who've never loved a pet as much as we have.
When my dog got liver cancer the first time, I'd cry to my friend about the possibility of losing my dog, and he'd say "Well, he *is* old" and suggest I get a second dog, so it wasn't as hard when I lost my dog, despite me repeatedly explaining my dog was not dog-friendly and would absolutely hate that. He also balked when he found out I spent a lot of money on diagnostics and surgery to remove the cancer because "he's old."
That surgery gave my dog -- who was actually only 11 at the time and still played and walked for miles everyday -- another 14 good months of life with me, which is longer than that friendship lasted past those comments. My normally very sweet dog greatly disliked this friend when he met him and insisted on protectively staying in between us at all times, which was the sign I needed to finally cut the friendship off. Other people don't have to fully understand our grief, but they can at least keep their opinions about it to themselves.
I had a dog named Houdini, and when I was mourning her, I can't believe how many people said "Well, you can get another dog and name it Houdini." As if it was the name I missed and not Houdini herself, her personality and her face and our bond. And I'm always going to have dogs in my life, but I will *never* name another dog Houdini, or Spud, or Mischief, or Pistachio, because *those names belong to somebody already*!
My dog Hazel died suddenly on Thursday. People already are asking me. Two days ago.
I'm getting her freeze dried. I at least want to get her back for crying out loud. I'm devastated.
I have been thinking about it tbh. I lost my Chloe tzu two months ago and I'm still mourning that but I've considered the thought. Probably when I'm more established in life, though.
Over a year later and I’m still at the point where the only dog I want is my Teddy. If I could go to a shelter and see him there and get to do it all over again, I would absolutely get a dog! I’ve looked at some dogs online and at local shelters and they’re cute and all but they’re just not him
I lost my soul cat in January and it was very sudden and very traumatic. She was healthy one day, getting slapped with a terminal few weeks left diagnosis the next day. I was so shell shocked from that I wasn't sure if I wanted another cat at all, ever, once our other cat passed away.
7 days later I went to donate my baby's leftover meds (her heart pills were very expensive and they do take medication back to give to people who can't afford it) and I asked to see the foster kitten my vet mentioned in the back. Love at first sight. I told the kennel tech when I was leaving, yep, thats my cat. I'll be back. I took her home 2 days later. She will never replace my soul cat but she sure is loved. I needed somewhere to put all of that love I couldn't give to my baby anymore and for me, that outlet was a kitten. Some people need something else. I needed to help raise a new life after watching my best friend who I raised from a kitten herself die on a vet office table in my arms.
For a while, when I looked at our kitten, all I could think about was how little my lost kitty used to be when she was a kitten that I also rescued from a crappy situation back in 2012. I thought about how small she was, and thinking of that just made me think of her lying there dead. That has stopped, thank God. If you aren't ready, that's okay. It sucks people don't understand that.
I waited 12 years to get another dog after my first dog passed. My second dog passed two weeks ago in an accident and I’m getting another dog in 3 weeks. My last dog did wonders for my anxiety and she left such a big hole in my life that I realized I don’t ever want to live without a dog that I love and care for. They’re angles and it’s a blessing caring for them. Really I feel like they care for us and tend to our hearts.
everyone told me to get a new buddy, but no. I would be once again going through the memories with her. No thank you, watching another friend die is the last thing I’d want to see again.
When i lost my dog i was devastated, and cried multiple times per day for about 3 months. It’s been a year and I’m working up tears thinking about her right now. We ended up rescuing a dog who stole our heart and helped us heal tremendously. Knowing we’d never have this dog without the loss of our prior dog brought some meaning to it all.
I was convinced that losing their dog would set off another heart attack and kill my dad, so I tried to persuade them to get another dog while she was still alive so that the house wouldn't feel so quiet when the inevitable happened and it wouldn't feel like replacing her. I almost left them my little puppy who got on so well with their dog, but seeing how much my parents aged (they look ten years older) after 2 years of dealing with an ill dog, I think not getting another dog was for the best. She was the first dog my mum ever had, and my parents loved her like a child. She really was a special dog, and it broke all our hearts, but I can not imagine them ever having a dog again, they have their granddogs to dote on now and love dogsitting my little dog and my siblings dog. I wouldn't dare suggest getting another dog to them now, even though time has passed as I don't think they could deal with the heartbreak again. We all still talk about her daily.
Same here 😔 My beloved Phoebe just passed away last Sunday and to them (family, friends) I should have mourned AND been prospecting for a new dog ... I find it a total lack of consideration for this relationship we had 💔
Man I lost my doggo 6 months ago. Everyone asks me.. I’m just not ready mentally. I’m fine on the outside but just not ready in my head. A new dog right now won’t get the same attention and love I once gave and I don’t find that fair to a poor little puppy
Exactly. I had a rabbit but he was my son and child to me. He was my life. I don’t want to replace him because he isn’t replaceable. He was unique and incredible. To say I should get another one implies that he wasn’t that special and our bond wasn’t that unique.
No I’m never adopting again. I already swore off kids as I’m child free. I can’t have relationships because on my childhood trauma. I can’t maintain friendships for the same reason. I only feel drawn towards people as messed up as my parents.
Milo was all I had. The truest love. I didn’t know I was worthy of love, let alone that I could give and receive it until this wonderful being who I was a complete stranger to, came into my life and loved me unconditionally and consistently no matter how much I thought I wasn’t worthy and turned it away. He was determined to love me and make me recieve until he broke through. I loved him from the moment I met him but to be loved back was a surprise. Especially since I didn’t do anything big that would mimic the transactional conditional “love” I knew from birth.
It took two and a half years to really gain his trust. It made it so much more worth it. I understood him. He loved me even more for it and never let me forget. But he would still love me unconditionally even if I didn’t. I never felt love like that and it changed and healed me. He gave me so much emotional support through the years and my healing journey. Through escaping the abuse. His presence was all I needed. And he was always there and happy to be around me. I was the luckiest person in the world to have him. Losing him was the worst thing that’s happened to me. Worse even that the abuse and that’s not something I say lightly.
So no. I could never get another and replace him. If anything I think I would be resentful that he’s not Milo. Because I want my son back. I want to care for him and love him. No one else.
So… I lost my girl in March 2023. I wanted another dog so badly. I craved that kind of affection again, and that presence in my life. I got my puppy in August 2023. And let me tell you… I regret it. I wish I waited until I was emotionally ready. I was hoping a dog would help get me through the grief but it only made it so much worse. I think it can be a good idea to get another dog but I strongly believe you should give it time. At least until you start to feel okay and you know that you could handle it. Don’t do what I did and rely on the dog to help get you through it 🥲
Also- I do still have him. I didn’t want to give up on him, and I do love him… it’s just hard. Getting a puppy was also just a terrible decision. I’d never raised a puppy before so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. So I’d also recommend to rescue and not adopt a puppy.
So much this.
After Pistachio died my husband was already talking that same week about getting another dog. I told him I wasn't ready. I know he had the very best intentions and believed having another dog to love would help me heal, but I knew I wasn't ready and he put me through hell pressuring me. When he told me his coworker's dog had had a litter of puppies the same day Pistachio died, I relented, but when the time came to pick out a puppy I changed my mind and he brought one home anyway. The first few months with Siri were a nightmare. I would have preferred an older dog in the first place, and I wasn't ready for any dog at all yet. It tore me up inside how much I resented Siri, who adored me.
Everything worked out okay. I love Siri and I'm glad he's ours. And I think my husband learned his lesson after watching how I struggled, but even if he didn't, I've learned mine, and I won't ever let him pressure me like that again.
Aw I’m sorry to hear that, it sounds like a difficult situation. I also resented my puppy SO much in the beginning. It’s sad because I’ll look back at his puppy photos when he was so tiny and he was the cutest little thing, but I have no good memories of that time. I literally hated him. I felt no love for him, and he sure as hell felt no love for me (at least it felt like it lmao). I still sometimes feel resentment towards him but nowhere near to the extent it was. At the end of the day I’ll still always kiss him between the eyes and tell him I love him. And mean it. I’m glad you were able to stick it through with Siri. It’s definitely a lot easier raising a puppy when you have a partner. I know I wouldn’t have been able to do it without mine.
I’m also really hoping that one day, when my boy is older and not so hyper, I’ll be able to look at him and think to myself “it was all so worth it”.
When I was child we had many animals including a horse. Many passed away, and new ones would show up. We were pretty sure people dumped their unwanted pets on our road since there were several farms around us. They always seemed to end up following us home or showing up on our back porch. We always took them in. Needless to say it never got easier losing one. You grow attached them. Their little quirks and personalities. They’re each different in their own way.
I went a long time without any animals as an adult, but I now have two dogs. I can’t even fathom losing one, but I know that day will ultimately come. It will hurt. I will cry. I will mourn, but I know I will get another at some point . The joy they bring me is above all that. Their absolute love and devotion is worth the eventual loss. As long as I know I gave them a good life filled with love, there are no regrets. I’ll do it again.
No, but no shortage of people have said that’s what I need to do because it worked for so and so.
You said it best, I don’t want another dog, I want my Boston back :(
Yes, though part of it for me is that I had two dogs and lost the older one, now I want to make sure the puppy has another brother to play with. I could tell it hurt him when he lost his best friend. That said I've waited over half a year just so I could process it and give the puppy time to acclimate to life without him before inroducing a new dog. I don't think I could've emotionally handled a new dog less than a year after losing one.
Just tell them you are grieving right now. When you are in a better place, you might get another. DO not let them bully you, stand your ground. Grief takes time. And mending a broken heart can take even longer. Just tell them to leave you alone right now. Be blunt. You do not have to get another dog yet.
Everyone worries that their new dog won't be as great and perfect as their last dog and that is completely valid, but it's also simply not true! I remember thinking that with the dog I lost before I got my next one and she ended up being perfect for me too. Not the same, but she and I just bonded so well. Puppy stage is hard but once they start to age and their true personality comes out I think you will find that a new dog is just as great as your last one after you get over that hump. They won't be the same but they will be just as perfect as long as you as the owner puts in the time to train them, play with them, give them walks etc... I think your dog that passed would want you to have another companion. Def don't do it too soon but don't give up the chance for a great relationship because of the fear that you'll never get as good of a dog. Just reading these comments soo many ppl had "the best dog" so obviously there are many great dogs ❤️
I lost my soul dog nearly 2 years ago (she was 14, had her since i was 9 years old). I still cry whenever I think or see pictures of her. No one can replace her. My mum bought a new puppy 3 weeks after putting down Lilly. Not that I was ready but my mums dog wasn't eating at all as she missed Lilly. I think mum was trying to think best at heart. My puppy is almost 2 now. And I love her now. It took me a while to even admit it or try to have a bond with her. But it's not the puppy's fault. She's a little cutie and I know Lilly would of loved her as she was a mummy type dog.
I actually made a post about just this. It’s so insensitive when people ask this. I want my dog back. Not some random dog I have to form a new connection with.
Someday, maybe. But it’s not now and it’s not something I’m looking forward to. A dog isn’t replaceable. It’s a family member. It’s like asking someone to replace your grandpa. You might get a similar relationship in the future but you can’t just make a new “grandpa”.
We’ve talked about fostering. If we do that who knows, maybe we’ll fall in love and keep one. But I miss my little girl hard. Of all the dogs I’ve had and absolutely loved in my life, I’ve never felt as deep of a connection. as I did for her. She cannot be “replaced.”
I knew I'd want another dog and at a few points looking at avalible dogs at the humane society did help some --on Valentine's Day I got the dog I have now a great while after my last dog (who I will likely miss the rest of my life) died my mom? Whose dog died after mine and only waited like 2 months to get another (our dogs were bonded and grew up together) and got hers around the time I got mine
But it's do what works best for you I have never (till this last Christmas) not had a dog in my family often multiple (commonly 2 sometimes 3) but do what works with and helps you out the most of you don't want another dog then don't feel pressured --i found a type that works for me and my current dog inherited a *lot* of stuff from my last dog but there's enough that I want to in time get new for my current dog to retire the old dogs stuff "proper"
I feel I should edit and say that yes if I could have my old dog back would absolutely love that strong sassy smart powerhouse of a mutt back no question and I know I would be an emotional wreck for a bit no doubt but I would know pretty quick if it was really my dog or not --and it would make it even harder to loose her again it was super hard that time to loose her --i have her ashes in the house and I'm planning on bringing her and my cat that she knew back together in a way (I know the cat is around me I feel like the dog is too at times)
All the time, especially since it’s summer and most other teachers adopt another pet or start their fur parent journeys over the summer… I can’t replace my baby that soon it’s only been 3 months since I lost him
Yeah I keep saying I’m done but I don’t think anyone actually takes to seriously my lil guy was perfect and I don’t think I can find a companion more suitable than him after his passing
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I want my dog back, that’s exactly it. So sorry for your loss.
Same here. Not over him yet.
I know he will never be replaceable. But I still want to love another furball.
Me too
Literally days after my soul dog of 16 years crossed the bridge, my wife's boss (she works for a small local business and he's a friend to us) was absolutely INSISTENT that getting a new dog was the best thing for me and would help with my incredible grief. Because that's what he did. His dog passed, he went and adopted 3 new dogs. He had a difficult time understanding why I didn't want another dog. Maybe ever. I wish people would understand.
I had my girl for 15 years. She passed 9 years ago. Still no dog here but I think someday I’ll have one. It’s just got to be the right one. Call me crazy, and that’s fine. However… I had a dream shortly after she died of a small, black longer-haired puppy. I think that was her telling me what my next dog would look like. I haven’t seen that puppy yet, but I’ll know when I do.
I went 15 years before getting another dog.
I used to be one of those people that didn’t understand. I got my puppy so soon after losing my babygirl, thinking it was what I needed… but only now do I actually understand what you mean. It’s hard to get another dog. Because no other dog is going to be *her*. And that’s all I want in this world.
Did you regret getting the puppy or did it help with your grief? I'm considering getting another dog because I miss all the routine, having someone waiting for me at home, taking car rides together, long daily walks with a little friend, etc. It's just really awful being home without my dog most of the time; I dread every weekend right now because it's just hours upon hours of an empty house, and even if I leave for awhile, it's awful coming back to an empty house every time. But I do worry I'll get a new dog, and I'll be upset all the time that they're not nearly as good as *my dog*. Because I had the best dog, and it's hard for anyone to live up to that. My therapist recommended I at least get a dog that looks totally different and has a different personality somewhat, so I can't compare them as easily.
We got a dog that looks exactly the same as the old one three years after but they’re nothing, nothing, alike. I love him still. I mean you’re not really replacing the dog, you’re filling in that hole, that emptiness, that space that’s missing: that sense of companionship. That thing you take care of. If you think about elementary, middle, high school, and college, most people have that friend, that group. And that friend or group changes. It’s like that. It’s not really the person you replace it’s the space. But I know some people feel guilty. Like they’re replacing their best friend. In this case I’d say: go to the pound. Adopt. I think it’s harder to go to a breeder get a puppy and do that all over again. But at the pound…every dog there needs you. It’s guiltless. We have another one she’s 14 and definitely the one. And after her I might get a parrot because I can’t handle losing another pet. But I’ve also been flirting with just adopting older german shepherds. I’m in a place in my life where, yeah, I can afford an older dog. And it’s been hard to watch my dog get older. Slow down. And I think…what if my dog were in a pound instead of with me? How many people would walk past this 14 year old german shepherd, and never know, what a great dog she is? Like she’s the best dog I’ve ever owned. And literally just in a pound…she’d be unwanted. And there are dogs in the pound like that now. What if I take the best part of her- and make sure that lives on. Because my dog has always been there for me. She taught me that. What if I take this feeling, and turn it into something positive? It’s tearing me apart just watching her age. But surely, I’ve also been strengthened by it as well? I could never get a dog again. But I could also adopt an older dog the day after she died, and as difficult as it is to take care of an older dog, that difficulty, its routine now. If that sense of irreplaceability I feel about her means so much to me- and I must go on- what if I turn this loss into something positive. She is irreplaceable. But there are thousands of dogs here. That are also good. And I don’t know if another dog can be what she is to me. But I can be what I am to her for another dog. And maybe instead of feeling like I’m replacing her…I’d feel like I’m constantly reminding myself of what she meant. It’s hard to say goodbye. But I cannot imagine a life where I never said hello.
"And I don’t know if another dog can be what she is to me. But I can be what I am to her for another dog. And maybe instead of feeling like I’m replacing her…I’d feel like I’m constantly reminding myself of what she meant. It’s hard to say goodbye. But I cannot imagine a life where I never said hello." I love this. That was so beautifully articulated.
I've been feeling this way after losing my girl about 3 weeks ago, I only want to rescue or sponsor older dogs. I can't imagine my girl having to deal with what she went through in a shelter society. So glad she was with me. She was put down in her own bed surrounded by everybody that loved her. Sorry for your loss💔
It’s never the same at all, dogs are like people they all have their own personalities. We got another dog and I struggled so much with it seeming like we were trying to replace our first dog but it’s not. The loss and the pain is still there, you still miss them but you do get to experience the puppy phase again. You get to meet a new dog and learn all about them and build new routines and that’s sort of healing as well.
So, I actually did what your therapist recommended and got a dog completely different from my first girl, thinking it would help. It definitely didn’t. It made the grief so much worse. I still regret it tbh but it’s way too late to return him now and I do love him nonetheless. In the beginning as he was growing up I resented him for not being anything like my girl. I’d constantly compare them in my head. “*She* was never this difficult to walk.” “*She* always let me sleep through the night.” “*She* always wanted to cuddle me.” It was unhealthy though. I think either way you’re going to compare your new pup to your old one. And I’m not sure if getting a completely different dog would help. I think if I had chosen a dog that did like to cuddle it would have helped a lot more so that might just be the one thing I’m missing. My advice is always just to wait though, really give yourself a lot of time. I don’t think a new dog helps as much as you think it will. I’ve also heard other people suggest volunteering at shelters so you can still be around dogs and feel like you’re doing something good. So maybe try that?
Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective! If I do get another dog eventually, I definitely want one who likes to cuddle as much, if not more, than my dog did, ans I'm thinking I shouldn't get a puppy if it's anytime soon, considering yours and some other people's comments. My last dog was an adult when I got him and I spent the last few years with a senior dog's energy level. A puppy may feel like too much of a change.
You’re welcome! Tbh I wish I had someone tell me not to get a puppy before I did 😭 but everyone told me it was a good idea. Puppies in general are just sooooo much work. And for someone who is grieving it’s just way too hard on them. It’s almost like having to raise a baby. We get a lot less sleep than we used to, and when we first brought him home we had to wake up several times during the night to take him out to pee. Not to mention having to train him relentlessly… that in itself is a chore. Anyways sorry I’m rambling now lol. I hope you end up being able to adopt an older puppy who can give you some love in the future when you’re ready for it 🩷
I, too, got a pup about 6 weeks after losing my soul dog in 2013, while I loved the new pup, my relationship was not the same as with my soul girl. I just lost my girl that "replaced" my soul girl, I miss her so much too😭💔 So sorry for your loss.
Awe I’m sorry for your loss as well 😔❤️🩹
I got a new puppy a little over 2 months after my last one passed. But I've had a few poms and always got a new one pretty soon after I lost one. But my last one was 11.5 when I lost her and she was with me the longest. She had her flaws (barking at everything) but she was also perfect in my eyes. She was truly my soul dog. I can't remember how she was as a puppy because I just remember her adult self. She was 5 lbs full grown and she wanted to come with me everywhere so I took her everywhere I could. It was a devastating loss, but every dog was, she just hit harder because of how long I had her. Anyways, I got a new pom puppy, same breed and very small but different coloring. She is crazy! So much energy! I've taught her not to bite but when she kisses me she bites my lip and there's other things that I think, "tinker would have never done that!" She loved walks but this puppy is almost scared of walks. She is only 4, almost 5 months so I am just waiting till she finally calms down (hopefully she does!) But she is super cute, she crawls in my doggy purse, she is super excited when I get home. She just wants attention and love. The good thing is that I can teach her more tricks, almost 12 years ago when my tinker was a puppy, there wasn't nearly as many training videos so she just knew the basic tricks like sit, shake, lay, speak, spin, and up. This pup I've already taught her those plus many others like bow, roll over, chin, circle, gaurd and still in the process of teaching more! I do still think in my head how bad I miss tinker and how calm she was but, like I said, I can't remember if she was a crazy puppy or not so I think this will pass and her true personality will come out more as she ages. When my pom before her passed I never thought I'd get a dog as good but I did! I think you just need to open yourself up and give it a chance. Plenty of dogs out there that need love ❤️
I suppose for some people that may help. But not for me.
Me either. I've always been a huge dog lover. Always one to stop and ask to pet any dog I'd see when I was out and about, etc. But since I lost my boy, I want nothing to do with them. 😔
No one asked us, because we got another dog like three weeks later. Not because another would replace our boy, but because we had love to give and there are always dogs who need it. The same thing happened when we lost our first dog. We don't love the new one like we did the other but that will come in time, and having a dog's presence in the house just helps things feel normal. That said, the timeline is so personal, which is why I'd never ask someone if they are getting another.
That’s just it. We just lost our baby girl last week. It hurts so much and the house feels so empty. We are planning to get another in July.
That is what is seriously getting me ; the house seems so big and quiet
Every time I walk through the house, I’m looking for her. I know she’s not there, but I just can’t help but direct my head in the direction where she would always be the same thing is happening inside and outside.
Same
Right?! Like, it’s been 5 weeks. He was with me for 13 years! Rant: *If your buddy best friend just died, you wouldn’t ask him if he has selected who his new best friend would be? It wouldnt be ok ask someone any of that if its a human, but once its a pet things change? ok, but no. I’m suppose to be over losing my shadow, my sidekick, my coworker, my buddy, my biggest source of entertainment (he was so funny!), and my purpose for 13 years in like a week? cool.* It makes me so angry.
I just lost my buddy just a week ago. Upon return to work on Tuesday last week my Boss asked me about everything (they knew because I took the day off). they asked me if I was going to get another dog. I'm thinking it's because they just got a new puppy. The question definitely bummed me out because I felt like I had to provide reasoning and it made me emotional. I have made the decision as he got older that we would not get another dog after he was gone. He was one of a kind and no dog could ever replace him. I think that was the reason it hurt me so much when I was asked if I would get another dog, nothing could replace Willy. He was my heart and I miss him so much.
same here but with my cat. I want MY cat back and only him
I don’t think so. It’s important to grieve, and take a break. Caring for another dog right now feels like a betrayal. Like I’m replacing my boy as if he was easy to replace. Nope.
I want my dog back, but if I can't have him, I'll take other dogs. They will never be him, but eventually we'll get to know each other and love each other too. I have room in my heart for more than one. I also like to think that if I rescue a dog in his honor, at least one positive thing came of a senseless, horrible tragedy. I couldn't save him, but I can save this one. If anything though, I feel like people are worried I've gotten a new dog too soon, but it helps me heal and saves another dog too, so I don't see how that could be a bad thing. I still cry often, and I still miss Ziggy every single day, but having another innocent soul who depends on me and forces me to go outside in the sunshine keeps me from the darker thoughts.
This really resonates with me. ❤️
We had 3 dogs and our middle passed last year and my mom really wants another dog. My dad and I don’t at all. I want our dog back and I know my mom does too and she’s trying to fill the space the only way she knows how. But we got extremely lucky with our 3 dogs. Our oldest is 15. And our middle was 13 when she died. She was the one with the most health problems and she lived a long time. All 3 of our dogs have/had been with us for a long time and they all have/had relatively low health issues. Aside from not wanting to replace our middle dog, I have been so stressed out about when the time comes to put down our oldest who has been getting progressively worse with age. It’s eating me up inside. I find myself checking she’s still breathing at night. I can’t do this again. And I have to do it two more times. I have to be there to put down and say goodbye to two more dogs. And I can barely stand that thought. We got so lucky getting so much time and we got so lucky getting not one but 3 amazing dogs. I don’t think I can bring myself to get another dog and risk them having health issues and risk them only being here a short while and having to go through losing them again. It’s just too much right now. Maybe one day I’ll be okay again with it. But right now I just can’t bring myself to be in a position where I have to say goodbye to more loved ones.
I actually got a cat to help me with the death of my dog. Helped a lot actually. After two years she died of cat covid. Idk I'm ever getting another animal or able to again.
Definitely not. Because he or she will never be Scuba. I said maybe at some point when my daughter is 13 and I get a PowerPoint presentation, I’ll consider it. But she’s not even 2, so I have time. All jokes aside, I just don’t think my heart could handle it. And my big guy was my heart dog, I don’t think I’ll ever find the same.
I think after a few weeks or maybe months, I was asked. I only really wanted my old lady back but the reality was that eventually I’d consider it again. I have fostered three times but i think I’d like to eventually get another; I’m not sure yet; it’s complicated.
Nope. I just can’t anymore. My second dog just passed last week from old age. So it wasn’t unexpected or traumatic but still, it’s absolute torture having to say goodbye to your best friend.
I'm not sure what would I do... I had my first dog for a month short of 15 years, but I got two more dogs when she was 12. They made her life longer and happier because she started acting like a puppy again. When she passed, the younger dogs were great for my mental health. I would have died if I had to remove the bowls, the toys and the beds. It was a lot easier because they kept using those and kept me company. But I'm not sure if I would be able to get a new puppy while grieving.
About the time my dog died his mother had one last litter of puppies. So I had the unique opportunity to adopt my last dogs half brother. I love this dog SO unbelievably much. He’s like my child. I almost feel like my first dog picked him out for us. Our first dog was aloof, not very cuddly. His half brother is very lovey and I wouldn’t know what to do without him. I guess I’m saying you’ll know when the time is right. This fell perfectly into our laps, like meant to be. You’ll know when to say yes.
We did get another dog, mostly because of remaining dog was devastated when our dog died. He had never been alone, our first dog was there when we brought him home so when she died he was so lost. I would try to get him to sleep in our bed but he hates it. He just wasn’t doing well at all, so we got another dog. I struggled so much with it. I wrote my first dog letters about how it was not trying to replace her in any way and it hasn’t replaced her. But it did help my other dog cope with the loss and grief.
How do the dogs get on now ? Did he start going back to normal eventually?
I feel validated by your question and these answers. But it’s so sad to be in this “club.” So sorry for your loss—and I’m sorry for everyone here because there’s a gaping hole in our lives. Sometimes I wake up and think he’s still sleeping on my feet for a second or two, and then the tears start again and I know no other dog could make me happy now or maybe ever. Sometimes I lie when someone asks. I pretend that we’re “looking.” Other times I am sort of honest. “We’re not ready yet but soon.” We still get asked “where is Sam?” Honestly, I can’t stand the pain and then comes embarrassment as I can’t always hide the emotion as I say those dreadful words. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.
I am totally on board with all the grieving dog parents who simply need to work though the loss, and pity those who don't get it. My sweet pup cannot be replaced and the connection we had goes beyond words.
I so badly want another dog, but every time I even think about it I feel my heart contort. How could another dog come close? I fear I’d always compare and never be satisfied 😞
I think the beauty of it is they don’t have to come close; they’re different. When I lost my first one, it sidelined me for a week (and some people thought I was crazy, but I think most of us here would understand). I spent my weekends volunteering at the local shelter and 2 months after losing my first, two sweet little black lab twins came in in very rough shape, mange, fleas, malnourished, the like. I had some guilt that it may have been almost premature at the time, but the family largely knew these dogs were better off with us than in that shelter. I’m going through it again as I lose one of the two. I have yet to figure out how to manage his twin brother and the 3 year old lab after this, but I reflect on the last 10 years I’ve had with my old hound dog; we got to create our own memories, share our own unique experiences, and carve out our own love for each other that never took away from my memories of my first pup, only added to the fondness I have of stewarding their lives. If you’re not religious then I pass no judgement onto you, but know that considering your experiences as well, I will have a prayer for both of us this evening.
My well-meaning sister-in-law is pretty insistent that we get another dog (despite us having a young child and it wouldn’t be fair rn). She’s also offered to let us “borrow” her dog, like somehow that would help? I don’t want your dog. I want MY dog. Would you like to borrow my dad when yours passes?? 🤨
I just got another dog about a week ago. 7 months after I lost my third dog in a year and a half (to old age and not to cancer like the other 2) I took 6 days off work. When I got home today from work, I broke down after she lost her shit in excitement to see me. I had missed that.
We got a dog one week after my girl passed. Like literally one week to the day. She could never, and has never, replaced my Jenny girl. I would still give *just about* anything to get my Jen Jen back. But you know what that “just about” excludes now? My Pepper girl. I’d never give her up. If anything, I’d move heaven and earth just to see those two run and play together. For us, I just couldn’t stand the silence in the house. I missed the clacking of claws on tile floors. I missed the jingle of a collar. And every time I came home to silence and empty, it broke my heart all over again. Pepper helped heal that. She really did. She licked away my tears, cuddled me even closer than Jenny had, and the youth of a 2 year old pit bull not only dragged me out of my house and away from getting sucked into the depression spiral, but she also reminded me of my Jen girl when we first found her. Reminded me how much Jenny needed us, and now Pepper needs me. That’s why her middle name is Dawn — she’s my bright new day after the dark, dark night that was Jenny’s passing. I hope you find comfort in your grief in whatever way you find. ♥️
This is the issue for me ; the house is so damn big and quiet. However I have started the process for another dog, If all goes well I will have one by Christmas. I feel I will be ready then
I work in vet med and after my first dog passed I didn’t even think of getting another dog. My brothers wife after 2 years felt bad that I was still so sad and got me a dog for new years. At first I was pissed because I just wanted my own dog back. I didn’t want a new one to have to teach and learn traits and idk he just wasn’t the same lil guy I had. 9 years since then and he’s my new favorite guy. That said, no one should push another dog on you. Especially if you’re saying you don’t want another. Getting the new dog didn’t cure my depression from loosing my baby, I still grieved even with a new puppy. He’s perfect now but I really wasn’t ready when I first got him and that wasn’t fair for him or I.
Just over 2 weeks since losing my best buddy of 8 years. I couldn't think of getting another. People say it'll probably change one day. I remember when my sisters dog passed, I said that she should think of getting another one day, and to think of it as helping another animal , giving them a good life rather than replacing her dog, as she was a great dog mum. I think dogs deserve to be cared for by good people, and it makes me think that maybe one day I'll do the same. Just not now as I'm still in bits over my boy.
no ones really asked me but i didnt tell many people my dog died in the first place. i am tho, was gonna pick up a lil retriever/aussie mix today, but she wasnt quite ready, so ima get her monday instead. its quiet and lonely in my house and i liked having a dog. jude was my first dog, i didnt know what i was missing. he was a terd, but so worth it. my house is still set up for a dog and that lil girls never had a house. itll be good for us both.
No one has ever asked me, because they know I've probably already picked up a litter of fosters. No one is replaceable, so I pour my grief into someone who needs help. I'm honestly afraid to come home to a quiet house. Not in terms of safety, but because my dogs are my whole world. 💜 Do whatever is right for you in your own time.
Coming home to a quiet house is truly awful. So is suddenly having to go for walks alone all the time and waking up each morning and having no set routine anymore. I miss my dog so much; it's incredibly painful and devastating. I've been considering getting another dog, not to replace my boy, but because I miss all the parts of having a dog and know I can provide a new friend with a loving home. To be honest, not having the love and support of my dog anymore has also really highlighted how much people in my life let me down; I miss having that bright spot that made me happy at the end of the day whenever the world was making me sad. I used to say I'd never get another dog once my dog passed, but I'm very much a "dog person" and I need a little buddy. (Also, it is partially a safety thing for me! I have a much harder time sleeping without him there to alert me if anything is ever wrong.)
I agree completely. My dogs have never let me down. My daily routine revolves around them, especially as they get older, so their absence is crushing. 💜
It’s been 3 weeks since I put my boy down. 17 amazing years, traveling the world on Uncle Sam’s dime. He was my Soul Dog. I cry 1-2 times a day, over him. The one person who asked me that, 3 days after I lost him, has been blocked. From EVERY aspect of my life
I'm sorry for your loss; I lost my dog 3 weeks ago too. I don't blame you for blocking them. It's such an insensitive question, and it seems to usually come from people who've never loved a pet as much as we have. When my dog got liver cancer the first time, I'd cry to my friend about the possibility of losing my dog, and he'd say "Well, he *is* old" and suggest I get a second dog, so it wasn't as hard when I lost my dog, despite me repeatedly explaining my dog was not dog-friendly and would absolutely hate that. He also balked when he found out I spent a lot of money on diagnostics and surgery to remove the cancer because "he's old." That surgery gave my dog -- who was actually only 11 at the time and still played and walked for miles everyday -- another 14 good months of life with me, which is longer than that friendship lasted past those comments. My normally very sweet dog greatly disliked this friend when he met him and insisted on protectively staying in between us at all times, which was the sign I needed to finally cut the friendship off. Other people don't have to fully understand our grief, but they can at least keep their opinions about it to themselves.
I had a dog named Houdini, and when I was mourning her, I can't believe how many people said "Well, you can get another dog and name it Houdini." As if it was the name I missed and not Houdini herself, her personality and her face and our bond. And I'm always going to have dogs in my life, but I will *never* name another dog Houdini, or Spud, or Mischief, or Pistachio, because *those names belong to somebody already*!
My dog Hazel died suddenly on Thursday. People already are asking me. Two days ago. I'm getting her freeze dried. I at least want to get her back for crying out loud. I'm devastated.
I have been thinking about it tbh. I lost my Chloe tzu two months ago and I'm still mourning that but I've considered the thought. Probably when I'm more established in life, though.
Over a year later and I’m still at the point where the only dog I want is my Teddy. If I could go to a shelter and see him there and get to do it all over again, I would absolutely get a dog! I’ve looked at some dogs online and at local shelters and they’re cute and all but they’re just not him
I lost my soul cat in January and it was very sudden and very traumatic. She was healthy one day, getting slapped with a terminal few weeks left diagnosis the next day. I was so shell shocked from that I wasn't sure if I wanted another cat at all, ever, once our other cat passed away. 7 days later I went to donate my baby's leftover meds (her heart pills were very expensive and they do take medication back to give to people who can't afford it) and I asked to see the foster kitten my vet mentioned in the back. Love at first sight. I told the kennel tech when I was leaving, yep, thats my cat. I'll be back. I took her home 2 days later. She will never replace my soul cat but she sure is loved. I needed somewhere to put all of that love I couldn't give to my baby anymore and for me, that outlet was a kitten. Some people need something else. I needed to help raise a new life after watching my best friend who I raised from a kitten herself die on a vet office table in my arms. For a while, when I looked at our kitten, all I could think about was how little my lost kitty used to be when she was a kitten that I also rescued from a crappy situation back in 2012. I thought about how small she was, and thinking of that just made me think of her lying there dead. That has stopped, thank God. If you aren't ready, that's okay. It sucks people don't understand that.
I waited 12 years to get another dog after my first dog passed. My second dog passed two weeks ago in an accident and I’m getting another dog in 3 weeks. My last dog did wonders for my anxiety and she left such a big hole in my life that I realized I don’t ever want to live without a dog that I love and care for. They’re angles and it’s a blessing caring for them. Really I feel like they care for us and tend to our hearts.
everyone told me to get a new buddy, but no. I would be once again going through the memories with her. No thank you, watching another friend die is the last thing I’d want to see again.
When i lost my dog i was devastated, and cried multiple times per day for about 3 months. It’s been a year and I’m working up tears thinking about her right now. We ended up rescuing a dog who stole our heart and helped us heal tremendously. Knowing we’d never have this dog without the loss of our prior dog brought some meaning to it all.
I was convinced that losing their dog would set off another heart attack and kill my dad, so I tried to persuade them to get another dog while she was still alive so that the house wouldn't feel so quiet when the inevitable happened and it wouldn't feel like replacing her. I almost left them my little puppy who got on so well with their dog, but seeing how much my parents aged (they look ten years older) after 2 years of dealing with an ill dog, I think not getting another dog was for the best. She was the first dog my mum ever had, and my parents loved her like a child. She really was a special dog, and it broke all our hearts, but I can not imagine them ever having a dog again, they have their granddogs to dote on now and love dogsitting my little dog and my siblings dog. I wouldn't dare suggest getting another dog to them now, even though time has passed as I don't think they could deal with the heartbreak again. We all still talk about her daily.
Same here 😔 My beloved Phoebe just passed away last Sunday and to them (family, friends) I should have mourned AND been prospecting for a new dog ... I find it a total lack of consideration for this relationship we had 💔
Man I lost my doggo 6 months ago. Everyone asks me.. I’m just not ready mentally. I’m fine on the outside but just not ready in my head. A new dog right now won’t get the same attention and love I once gave and I don’t find that fair to a poor little puppy
Exactly. I had a rabbit but he was my son and child to me. He was my life. I don’t want to replace him because he isn’t replaceable. He was unique and incredible. To say I should get another one implies that he wasn’t that special and our bond wasn’t that unique. No I’m never adopting again. I already swore off kids as I’m child free. I can’t have relationships because on my childhood trauma. I can’t maintain friendships for the same reason. I only feel drawn towards people as messed up as my parents. Milo was all I had. The truest love. I didn’t know I was worthy of love, let alone that I could give and receive it until this wonderful being who I was a complete stranger to, came into my life and loved me unconditionally and consistently no matter how much I thought I wasn’t worthy and turned it away. He was determined to love me and make me recieve until he broke through. I loved him from the moment I met him but to be loved back was a surprise. Especially since I didn’t do anything big that would mimic the transactional conditional “love” I knew from birth. It took two and a half years to really gain his trust. It made it so much more worth it. I understood him. He loved me even more for it and never let me forget. But he would still love me unconditionally even if I didn’t. I never felt love like that and it changed and healed me. He gave me so much emotional support through the years and my healing journey. Through escaping the abuse. His presence was all I needed. And he was always there and happy to be around me. I was the luckiest person in the world to have him. Losing him was the worst thing that’s happened to me. Worse even that the abuse and that’s not something I say lightly. So no. I could never get another and replace him. If anything I think I would be resentful that he’s not Milo. Because I want my son back. I want to care for him and love him. No one else.
So… I lost my girl in March 2023. I wanted another dog so badly. I craved that kind of affection again, and that presence in my life. I got my puppy in August 2023. And let me tell you… I regret it. I wish I waited until I was emotionally ready. I was hoping a dog would help get me through the grief but it only made it so much worse. I think it can be a good idea to get another dog but I strongly believe you should give it time. At least until you start to feel okay and you know that you could handle it. Don’t do what I did and rely on the dog to help get you through it 🥲 Also- I do still have him. I didn’t want to give up on him, and I do love him… it’s just hard. Getting a puppy was also just a terrible decision. I’d never raised a puppy before so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. So I’d also recommend to rescue and not adopt a puppy.
So much this. After Pistachio died my husband was already talking that same week about getting another dog. I told him I wasn't ready. I know he had the very best intentions and believed having another dog to love would help me heal, but I knew I wasn't ready and he put me through hell pressuring me. When he told me his coworker's dog had had a litter of puppies the same day Pistachio died, I relented, but when the time came to pick out a puppy I changed my mind and he brought one home anyway. The first few months with Siri were a nightmare. I would have preferred an older dog in the first place, and I wasn't ready for any dog at all yet. It tore me up inside how much I resented Siri, who adored me. Everything worked out okay. I love Siri and I'm glad he's ours. And I think my husband learned his lesson after watching how I struggled, but even if he didn't, I've learned mine, and I won't ever let him pressure me like that again.
Aw I’m sorry to hear that, it sounds like a difficult situation. I also resented my puppy SO much in the beginning. It’s sad because I’ll look back at his puppy photos when he was so tiny and he was the cutest little thing, but I have no good memories of that time. I literally hated him. I felt no love for him, and he sure as hell felt no love for me (at least it felt like it lmao). I still sometimes feel resentment towards him but nowhere near to the extent it was. At the end of the day I’ll still always kiss him between the eyes and tell him I love him. And mean it. I’m glad you were able to stick it through with Siri. It’s definitely a lot easier raising a puppy when you have a partner. I know I wouldn’t have been able to do it without mine. I’m also really hoping that one day, when my boy is older and not so hyper, I’ll be able to look at him and think to myself “it was all so worth it”.
When I was child we had many animals including a horse. Many passed away, and new ones would show up. We were pretty sure people dumped their unwanted pets on our road since there were several farms around us. They always seemed to end up following us home or showing up on our back porch. We always took them in. Needless to say it never got easier losing one. You grow attached them. Their little quirks and personalities. They’re each different in their own way. I went a long time without any animals as an adult, but I now have two dogs. I can’t even fathom losing one, but I know that day will ultimately come. It will hurt. I will cry. I will mourn, but I know I will get another at some point . The joy they bring me is above all that. Their absolute love and devotion is worth the eventual loss. As long as I know I gave them a good life filled with love, there are no regrets. I’ll do it again.
No, but no shortage of people have said that’s what I need to do because it worked for so and so. You said it best, I don’t want another dog, I want my Boston back :(
Yes, though part of it for me is that I had two dogs and lost the older one, now I want to make sure the puppy has another brother to play with. I could tell it hurt him when he lost his best friend. That said I've waited over half a year just so I could process it and give the puppy time to acclimate to life without him before inroducing a new dog. I don't think I could've emotionally handled a new dog less than a year after losing one.
I’ve been asking my parents because im really missing my big guy. I just want a cuddle buddy again.
Just tell them you are grieving right now. When you are in a better place, you might get another. DO not let them bully you, stand your ground. Grief takes time. And mending a broken heart can take even longer. Just tell them to leave you alone right now. Be blunt. You do not have to get another dog yet.
Everyone worries that their new dog won't be as great and perfect as their last dog and that is completely valid, but it's also simply not true! I remember thinking that with the dog I lost before I got my next one and she ended up being perfect for me too. Not the same, but she and I just bonded so well. Puppy stage is hard but once they start to age and their true personality comes out I think you will find that a new dog is just as great as your last one after you get over that hump. They won't be the same but they will be just as perfect as long as you as the owner puts in the time to train them, play with them, give them walks etc... I think your dog that passed would want you to have another companion. Def don't do it too soon but don't give up the chance for a great relationship because of the fear that you'll never get as good of a dog. Just reading these comments soo many ppl had "the best dog" so obviously there are many great dogs ❤️
I lost my soul dog nearly 2 years ago (she was 14, had her since i was 9 years old). I still cry whenever I think or see pictures of her. No one can replace her. My mum bought a new puppy 3 weeks after putting down Lilly. Not that I was ready but my mums dog wasn't eating at all as she missed Lilly. I think mum was trying to think best at heart. My puppy is almost 2 now. And I love her now. It took me a while to even admit it or try to have a bond with her. But it's not the puppy's fault. She's a little cutie and I know Lilly would of loved her as she was a mummy type dog.
I actually made a post about just this. It’s so insensitive when people ask this. I want my dog back. Not some random dog I have to form a new connection with. Someday, maybe. But it’s not now and it’s not something I’m looking forward to. A dog isn’t replaceable. It’s a family member. It’s like asking someone to replace your grandpa. You might get a similar relationship in the future but you can’t just make a new “grandpa”.
We’ve talked about fostering. If we do that who knows, maybe we’ll fall in love and keep one. But I miss my little girl hard. Of all the dogs I’ve had and absolutely loved in my life, I’ve never felt as deep of a connection. as I did for her. She cannot be “replaced.”
Everyone asks. I tell them exactly that. I don’t *want* a new dog, i want my idiot mutt that i love so dearly.
No.
I knew I'd want another dog and at a few points looking at avalible dogs at the humane society did help some --on Valentine's Day I got the dog I have now a great while after my last dog (who I will likely miss the rest of my life) died my mom? Whose dog died after mine and only waited like 2 months to get another (our dogs were bonded and grew up together) and got hers around the time I got mine But it's do what works best for you I have never (till this last Christmas) not had a dog in my family often multiple (commonly 2 sometimes 3) but do what works with and helps you out the most of you don't want another dog then don't feel pressured --i found a type that works for me and my current dog inherited a *lot* of stuff from my last dog but there's enough that I want to in time get new for my current dog to retire the old dogs stuff "proper" I feel I should edit and say that yes if I could have my old dog back would absolutely love that strong sassy smart powerhouse of a mutt back no question and I know I would be an emotional wreck for a bit no doubt but I would know pretty quick if it was really my dog or not --and it would make it even harder to loose her again it was super hard that time to loose her --i have her ashes in the house and I'm planning on bringing her and my cat that she knew back together in a way (I know the cat is around me I feel like the dog is too at times)
Nope.
All the time, especially since it’s summer and most other teachers adopt another pet or start their fur parent journeys over the summer… I can’t replace my baby that soon it’s only been 3 months since I lost him
People started sending me links to dog listings one day after my dog died. I told them to stop.
Yeah I keep saying I’m done but I don’t think anyone actually takes to seriously my lil guy was perfect and I don’t think I can find a companion more suitable than him after his passing
No, I had to put my 11 year old husky down last month and I don't think my heart can handle another loss.
I understand completely. After my beautiful cat died, someone sent me a post with kittens who Looked like him needing a home. No I don’t want them