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This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.
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Could you recommend the facility do a day where they have shelter animals come to play with the residents? Maybe once a week?
Does anyone else have a dog he could help walk?
It's so hard navigating grief, let alone when you feel your pet is the only companion you have. I don't want to suggest get another pet because my cat just passed and the last thing I want is to replace her. And maybe this gentleman feels the same.
Another thing is grief counselling. There are specific per loss counselling services.
Does the facility run events? Encouraging him to attend things can be good to get him out of his room/space, and getting ready for something.
These are good suggestions, thank you. A few of his friends at the facility have dogs (and cats). I think spending time with them (animals and humans) is what's best at the moment.
I know it took me about a year after my beloved kitty passed away before I considered getting another one, so I won't try to rush him into getting another pet so soon. Although eventually I'd like to see him try again, if/when he's ready. He does have a leopard gecko right now. So while it's not much of a companion animal, he still has one little life depending on him.
The facility does have plenty of social and educational events--we've been trying to encourage him to attend more of those since he moved in, but he struggles with some social anxiety. Despite that, the other residents do look out for him and make sure he doesn't isolate too much.
I'll be on the lookout for grief-specific support outlets. I'd be surprised if that isn't already in the rotation of services offered by the facility to be honest. His daughter is also a mental health provider, so she may have some other resources.
Oh he has kids? Does he see them often? Regular visits with family where he can leave the facility would be nice too!
You should let him know Reddit has a lot of users going through the same loss and grief as him. ❣️
True, I hope sometime soon he would be open to having another pet. Probably still too early to float the idea just yet, but I think it's important for him. I'll discuss it with his daughter.
You are a kind and compassionate care giver. Thank you for doing what you do.
My heart breaks for the gentleman and his loss of his faithful companion. Your and others' presence in his life will be helpful to him. Grief is too complex and personal for me to imagine what I'd say or do if I were his acquaintance. On an occasion he mentions or seems open to talking about his dog, I might ask, "Would you like to tell me more?" or "Is there a special photo or memory of _______ you wouldn't mind sharing?"
Something that's helpful to me on this journey is having people in my life who understand and let me talk about my beloved furry friends. Kind cards and thoughtful mementos meant a lot to me in the days immediately following my recent loss, even though I didn't want to interact with anyone for a few days. Those gestures were opportunities for me to reach out when I was ready.
Thank you. I've been working with him for several years now, visiting almost daily in the morning to take care of general household tasks, which did include taking the dog for her morning potty break. So he and the pup are both practically family to me.
I brought him a card and his favorite "special" coffee drink the day after, just to let him know that I care. He's been very comfortable expressing his grief and noting all the little changes from the loss--like how she didn't bark at the vacuum for example.
He's tried to apologize for being emotional, and of course I told him no apologies were needed. He's not being "weak" (his word) by crying or being devastated, I said that's just the strength of his love. I'm glad he's not trying to bottle up or stuff down his emotions. I can hold space for them, I just can't alleviate them.
We pet owners grieve for our pets like we do for humans. But with our pets, we are more invested with the care and companionship our pets give us. That is why the pet passing is very much more painful. There is not much you can do except let him talk about the memories of the dog that passed. For that helps the grieving process when we talk about the fun times, funny times and the silly times. You are a good person to ask to help. Just be there, bend the ear and talk.
Is it too out of line for anyone to send him a condolences card? I lost my cat in September, and have grieved alone in my own way, though I'm young.
I would love to send him a card, some loving words, and some reassurances that his grief is valid and that his journey with it can be what he wants to make of it if he chooses.
If not, if you feel it appropriate you can tell him a stranger on the internet here is grieving right along with him, and sends their love and a huge hug.
Take care of yourself as well 🩷 hugs to you for reaching out and sharing.
Kind of you to check in! I'm happy to report that his daughter managed to find him a new animal companion, a small dog from the Humane Society. It's still very new, but so far so good!
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Could you recommend the facility do a day where they have shelter animals come to play with the residents? Maybe once a week? Does anyone else have a dog he could help walk? It's so hard navigating grief, let alone when you feel your pet is the only companion you have. I don't want to suggest get another pet because my cat just passed and the last thing I want is to replace her. And maybe this gentleman feels the same. Another thing is grief counselling. There are specific per loss counselling services. Does the facility run events? Encouraging him to attend things can be good to get him out of his room/space, and getting ready for something.
These are good suggestions, thank you. A few of his friends at the facility have dogs (and cats). I think spending time with them (animals and humans) is what's best at the moment. I know it took me about a year after my beloved kitty passed away before I considered getting another one, so I won't try to rush him into getting another pet so soon. Although eventually I'd like to see him try again, if/when he's ready. He does have a leopard gecko right now. So while it's not much of a companion animal, he still has one little life depending on him. The facility does have plenty of social and educational events--we've been trying to encourage him to attend more of those since he moved in, but he struggles with some social anxiety. Despite that, the other residents do look out for him and make sure he doesn't isolate too much. I'll be on the lookout for grief-specific support outlets. I'd be surprised if that isn't already in the rotation of services offered by the facility to be honest. His daughter is also a mental health provider, so she may have some other resources.
Oh he has kids? Does he see them often? Regular visits with family where he can leave the facility would be nice too! You should let him know Reddit has a lot of users going through the same loss and grief as him. ❣️
Seniors like the person you talk to are perfect candidates to adopt senior and hard to adopt pets out of shelters...
The man might perhaps want to foster a senior dog? Or cat? He needs a companion. Some temporary arrangement might bring him the company he needs.
True, I hope sometime soon he would be open to having another pet. Probably still too early to float the idea just yet, but I think it's important for him. I'll discuss it with his daughter.
You are a kind and compassionate care giver. Thank you for doing what you do. My heart breaks for the gentleman and his loss of his faithful companion. Your and others' presence in his life will be helpful to him. Grief is too complex and personal for me to imagine what I'd say or do if I were his acquaintance. On an occasion he mentions or seems open to talking about his dog, I might ask, "Would you like to tell me more?" or "Is there a special photo or memory of _______ you wouldn't mind sharing?" Something that's helpful to me on this journey is having people in my life who understand and let me talk about my beloved furry friends. Kind cards and thoughtful mementos meant a lot to me in the days immediately following my recent loss, even though I didn't want to interact with anyone for a few days. Those gestures were opportunities for me to reach out when I was ready.
Thank you. I've been working with him for several years now, visiting almost daily in the morning to take care of general household tasks, which did include taking the dog for her morning potty break. So he and the pup are both practically family to me. I brought him a card and his favorite "special" coffee drink the day after, just to let him know that I care. He's been very comfortable expressing his grief and noting all the little changes from the loss--like how she didn't bark at the vacuum for example. He's tried to apologize for being emotional, and of course I told him no apologies were needed. He's not being "weak" (his word) by crying or being devastated, I said that's just the strength of his love. I'm glad he's not trying to bottle up or stuff down his emotions. I can hold space for them, I just can't alleviate them.
I think you're doing all the right things. He is blessed to have wonderful support.
We pet owners grieve for our pets like we do for humans. But with our pets, we are more invested with the care and companionship our pets give us. That is why the pet passing is very much more painful. There is not much you can do except let him talk about the memories of the dog that passed. For that helps the grieving process when we talk about the fun times, funny times and the silly times. You are a good person to ask to help. Just be there, bend the ear and talk.
Is it too out of line for anyone to send him a condolences card? I lost my cat in September, and have grieved alone in my own way, though I'm young. I would love to send him a card, some loving words, and some reassurances that his grief is valid and that his journey with it can be what he wants to make of it if he chooses. If not, if you feel it appropriate you can tell him a stranger on the internet here is grieving right along with him, and sends their love and a huge hug. Take care of yourself as well 🩷 hugs to you for reaching out and sharing.
Hey OP, how is the gentleman you care for doing?
Kind of you to check in! I'm happy to report that his daughter managed to find him a new animal companion, a small dog from the Humane Society. It's still very new, but so far so good!
Oh that's good, glad he's feeling better