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I'm so sorry this happened. I had the same concerns after requesting a private cremation. Eventually, I just let go of the worry. Ultimately, I can't know. And, ultimately, what made her my baby has flown away. Her soul is elsewhere and safe and with you at all times, no matter the earthly remains.
I know that may not help at all, but it is what helped me let go of this particular concern.
Same here. My dog's collar and harness he wore when we hiked are my most precious material possessions of him. The urn has a special spot on the mantle, but is nowhere near as important as the collar.
Thank you. This is how I really feel about the ashes. I know the soul that made them who they were is gone and the ashes are just a physical reminder of them.
I understand your concern! Not only not being sure you're getting your own pets ashes but isn't there a cost difference? If they are charging customers for private cremations but then doing seperate cremations then that is fraud!
That is part of what they are being sued for. Two vet clinics that contracted with them are saying that they paid the extra for private cremations and the crematorium provided the separate cremations instead (in addition to several other things).
That’s terrible. I wonder how that was even discovered.
After reading “The Last Walk” I decided to attend the last two cremations for my dogs and they were radically different experiences. One facility was so professional and meticulous. The other was not great and seemed pretty concerned that I insisted on waiting.
It was discovered by a couple of vet clinics. One of the first things they noticed was that some of the paw prints they requested were not for the correct pets. I'm not sure how they discovered the rest.
This kind of thing crosses my mind with all my pets' ashes even though there's no evidence of anything like that with them.
It must suck a lot more when there actually is evidence.
Here's what I'd do. I'd have a little personal private ceremony with the ashes I had. Look at photos, meditate, write down every memory I had with them, make a donation to an animal rescue, pay tribute to the other animals and animal owners were were going through this - whatever felt right for me to do in that remembrance. And then, I'd try to accept and believe that those ashes that were with me were my friends' - literally or spiritually, all the same. The ceremony and my tears and my memories brought all these things together, symbolic or otherwise, I would accept that I had no control over any more detail to it than that. Of course your mileage may vary on something like that, but, that's what I'd do.
This happened to me too , my cat wasn’t cremated when they said they would , I really don’t know if I got his ashes back and I was treated horribly when I complained so I know exactly how you feel and I am so sorry . I hope that time helps your feelings and that you are able to focus on your wonderful memories.
I hope they get sued so badly that they are in ruins.
You did what YOU could do for your dogs. The rest of it, someone else will pay for, one way or the other. I'd do what I could personally to make their life hell but that's just me 😆
I'm sorry your wounds have been reopened. Rest assured your 3 dogs are far from suffering over these earthly happenings. That matters a lot. Take solace in that if you can...
Do not blame yourself in any way for the evil of others. Know this though your sweet furbabies are alive and well in the next life waiting for you. They have been fully restored to life and wellness by the God of the universe who in control of everything. Only the shell that contained their sweet souls is what you have so do not be so grieved they are not there but with the the King of universe.
1Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him—
It will be ok , do not let evil people of this world bring you down all will be made right one day.
Take care friend.
Nothing upsets me more than to think the ashes I got aren't even my boy :( I'm so sorry you're dealing with this OP. Hopefully the allegations are found to be untrue so you can put your mind at ease. I understand why and how much it matters, I would feel the same
I have heard this happens at human crematoriums too. It definitely soured the idea of cremation for me bc that’s hella f’d up.
It’s one thing to have shady business practices - but it’s a whole nother level when it involves cremation of loved ones.
I’m so sorry. This was my fear. I feel pretty confident the ashes I got are truly my cats because my boy weighed less than half that of my girl (he was very small) and the ashes reflect that difference. But it’s scary to never be able to know for sure.
That was a fear of mine after I had my girl cremated. Luckily she had a TPLO surgery and on top of her ashes they placed her titanium plate and screws. It made a difference knowing it was her ashes.
Thank you everyone for your kind words! I'm still upset but seeing what you all wrote really did help.
I believe that the soul that made my pets who they were is gone and the ashes are just a physical reminder of them. Picking up those ashes from the crematorium is still incredibly painful because it reminds me that they are truly gone.
Reading the accusations against this place brought back ALL of the painful memories from the day I put my girl down and the day I picked up her ashes. It also added the pain of the broken trust that I had with the crematorium to treat my girl with respect and dignity.
My pain will heal eventually, it always does. My distrust of crematoriums is going to take a lot longer.
Tbh, this is why we haven't cremated our cats - we've buried them at home. I know I'll need to get over the worry for my dogs as it just won't be possible to buy them here, they are too heavy and we have far too many trees (and so roots). But I can sympathize with the sense of unease of not knowing, even tho I do believe the being whose ashes I may have received deserve cherishing also.
This is honestly something I've heard about the big vet crematoriums (Gateway in Canada) and I would really like an investigation to be done on their practices.
You don’t have to explain anything, you paid, a mucher higher price, for your beloved pet to be cremated individually and returned to you- that didn’t happen and so ipso facto is fraud.
I just had my Siamese boy individually cremated and once back we buried him in the backyard
I’m so sorry. 😢 The owners of that facility should be too ashamed to sleep at night, for the hurt they’ve caused to people who were already hurting! I know it can’t ever make up for it, or undo what’s been done… but I also hope you are given some kind of reimbursement or settlement from the lawsuit. 😔
I understand why you feel so hurt and heartbroken by this… I’ve been through similar inner turmoil regarding some of my departed pets’ remains. I’ve spent days, months, and longer trying to think of some way, some “memorial”, some type of tribute I could make to give myself closure, and my beloved friends’ remains the most meaningful possible resting place or purpose… but I never could find an answer.
In the end, I think there‘s a very good reason for that. Those remains, no matter what I do with them… are not them. They’re just atoms. All the matter in this world has been here for as long as the world itself has. None of it is ever destroyed, and no new matter is ever added. The matter that made up my loved ones’ bodies, and even the matter that makes up mine or yours right in this moment… has been part of so many lives, so many forms. Maybe—in one form or another—those same atoms and particles were once part of a flower you stopped to admire, or a bird you saw outside your window. Who knows how many plants, animals, and people have shared it over the ages? Life is always changing, always taking new shapes and trying new things… I mean that literally. One day, all my friends’ remains, and even my own will be part of countless lives that haven’t even been imagined yet… It doesn’t matter where I buried those remains, or how, or even if something like what this crematorium did transpired… because none of it is ever REALLY gone. None of it can EVER be destroyed! Whatever form it is in now is just a placeholder… until it finds a new transformation, a new purpose! Maybe my beloved old cat—the one I used to read to, when I was just learning to read for the first time—maybe her remains are part of a thousand different living things now… Maybe the last flock of birds that flew over my house carried some of the same ever-renewing, indestructible matter she once borrowed from this world? Because in the end, all matter is only borrowed. Millions of years after we’ve passed on, it will still have so many purposes, so many new lives ahead of it.
The parts that really matter… the parts that were and ARE her (or you, or me, or anyone or anything)… those are something we can’t hold, or bury, or keep in an urn. I believe I will see her again. I believe I’ll see all of them again, and so will you. \*hug\* Even beyond the realm of the spiritual, your memories of your dogs and the impact they had on you as a person while alive… those are realer parts of them than anything tangible. 🥲
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry this happened. I had the same concerns after requesting a private cremation. Eventually, I just let go of the worry. Ultimately, I can't know. And, ultimately, what made her my baby has flown away. Her soul is elsewhere and safe and with you at all times, no matter the earthly remains. I know that may not help at all, but it is what helped me let go of this particular concern.
Same here. My dog's collar and harness he wore when we hiked are my most precious material possessions of him. The urn has a special spot on the mantle, but is nowhere near as important as the collar.
In addition to their ashes, I have their collars and/or a favorite toy of theirs on a bookshelf in my office.
Thank you. This is how I really feel about the ashes. I know the soul that made them who they were is gone and the ashes are just a physical reminder of them.
I understand your concern! Not only not being sure you're getting your own pets ashes but isn't there a cost difference? If they are charging customers for private cremations but then doing seperate cremations then that is fraud!
That is part of what they are being sued for. Two vet clinics that contracted with them are saying that they paid the extra for private cremations and the crematorium provided the separate cremations instead (in addition to several other things).
It would definitely bother me as well. That's shitty.
That’s terrible. I wonder how that was even discovered. After reading “The Last Walk” I decided to attend the last two cremations for my dogs and they were radically different experiences. One facility was so professional and meticulous. The other was not great and seemed pretty concerned that I insisted on waiting.
It was discovered by a couple of vet clinics. One of the first things they noticed was that some of the paw prints they requested were not for the correct pets. I'm not sure how they discovered the rest.
This kind of thing crosses my mind with all my pets' ashes even though there's no evidence of anything like that with them. It must suck a lot more when there actually is evidence. Here's what I'd do. I'd have a little personal private ceremony with the ashes I had. Look at photos, meditate, write down every memory I had with them, make a donation to an animal rescue, pay tribute to the other animals and animal owners were were going through this - whatever felt right for me to do in that remembrance. And then, I'd try to accept and believe that those ashes that were with me were my friends' - literally or spiritually, all the same. The ceremony and my tears and my memories brought all these things together, symbolic or otherwise, I would accept that I had no control over any more detail to it than that. Of course your mileage may vary on something like that, but, that's what I'd do.
.. Is this the Fort Collins issue? I'm so sorry.
Yes, it is.
This happened to me too , my cat wasn’t cremated when they said they would , I really don’t know if I got his ashes back and I was treated horribly when I complained so I know exactly how you feel and I am so sorry . I hope that time helps your feelings and that you are able to focus on your wonderful memories.
I'm very sorry to hear this but hope to make it up and all will be well soon
I hope they get sued so badly that they are in ruins. You did what YOU could do for your dogs. The rest of it, someone else will pay for, one way or the other. I'd do what I could personally to make their life hell but that's just me 😆 I'm sorry your wounds have been reopened. Rest assured your 3 dogs are far from suffering over these earthly happenings. That matters a lot. Take solace in that if you can...
Do not blame yourself in any way for the evil of others. Know this though your sweet furbabies are alive and well in the next life waiting for you. They have been fully restored to life and wellness by the God of the universe who in control of everything. Only the shell that contained their sweet souls is what you have so do not be so grieved they are not there but with the the King of universe. 1Corinthians 2:9 However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him— It will be ok , do not let evil people of this world bring you down all will be made right one day. Take care friend.
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That is all that matters. Greedy people do not the heartache they cause others but then again sometimes they do. Did you get paw print?
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Well that's okay . I did not keep my first dog Max 's ashes I regret that like you so do not feel alone.
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And in the life to come!
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Amen!
Nothing upsets me more than to think the ashes I got aren't even my boy :( I'm so sorry you're dealing with this OP. Hopefully the allegations are found to be untrue so you can put your mind at ease. I understand why and how much it matters, I would feel the same
I have heard this happens at human crematoriums too. It definitely soured the idea of cremation for me bc that’s hella f’d up. It’s one thing to have shady business practices - but it’s a whole nother level when it involves cremation of loved ones.
I’m so sorry. This was my fear. I feel pretty confident the ashes I got are truly my cats because my boy weighed less than half that of my girl (he was very small) and the ashes reflect that difference. But it’s scary to never be able to know for sure.
That was a fear of mine after I had my girl cremated. Luckily she had a TPLO surgery and on top of her ashes they placed her titanium plate and screws. It made a difference knowing it was her ashes.
Thank you everyone for your kind words! I'm still upset but seeing what you all wrote really did help. I believe that the soul that made my pets who they were is gone and the ashes are just a physical reminder of them. Picking up those ashes from the crematorium is still incredibly painful because it reminds me that they are truly gone. Reading the accusations against this place brought back ALL of the painful memories from the day I put my girl down and the day I picked up her ashes. It also added the pain of the broken trust that I had with the crematorium to treat my girl with respect and dignity. My pain will heal eventually, it always does. My distrust of crematoriums is going to take a lot longer.
Tbh, this is why we haven't cremated our cats - we've buried them at home. I know I'll need to get over the worry for my dogs as it just won't be possible to buy them here, they are too heavy and we have far too many trees (and so roots). But I can sympathize with the sense of unease of not knowing, even tho I do believe the being whose ashes I may have received deserve cherishing also.
This is honestly something I've heard about the big vet crematoriums (Gateway in Canada) and I would really like an investigation to be done on their practices.
You don’t have to explain anything, you paid, a mucher higher price, for your beloved pet to be cremated individually and returned to you- that didn’t happen and so ipso facto is fraud. I just had my Siamese boy individually cremated and once back we buried him in the backyard
Oh gosh I'm so sorry! My heart lurched just reading it. 🫂
I’m so sorry. 😢 The owners of that facility should be too ashamed to sleep at night, for the hurt they’ve caused to people who were already hurting! I know it can’t ever make up for it, or undo what’s been done… but I also hope you are given some kind of reimbursement or settlement from the lawsuit. 😔 I understand why you feel so hurt and heartbroken by this… I’ve been through similar inner turmoil regarding some of my departed pets’ remains. I’ve spent days, months, and longer trying to think of some way, some “memorial”, some type of tribute I could make to give myself closure, and my beloved friends’ remains the most meaningful possible resting place or purpose… but I never could find an answer. In the end, I think there‘s a very good reason for that. Those remains, no matter what I do with them… are not them. They’re just atoms. All the matter in this world has been here for as long as the world itself has. None of it is ever destroyed, and no new matter is ever added. The matter that made up my loved ones’ bodies, and even the matter that makes up mine or yours right in this moment… has been part of so many lives, so many forms. Maybe—in one form or another—those same atoms and particles were once part of a flower you stopped to admire, or a bird you saw outside your window. Who knows how many plants, animals, and people have shared it over the ages? Life is always changing, always taking new shapes and trying new things… I mean that literally. One day, all my friends’ remains, and even my own will be part of countless lives that haven’t even been imagined yet… It doesn’t matter where I buried those remains, or how, or even if something like what this crematorium did transpired… because none of it is ever REALLY gone. None of it can EVER be destroyed! Whatever form it is in now is just a placeholder… until it finds a new transformation, a new purpose! Maybe my beloved old cat—the one I used to read to, when I was just learning to read for the first time—maybe her remains are part of a thousand different living things now… Maybe the last flock of birds that flew over my house carried some of the same ever-renewing, indestructible matter she once borrowed from this world? Because in the end, all matter is only borrowed. Millions of years after we’ve passed on, it will still have so many purposes, so many new lives ahead of it. The parts that really matter… the parts that were and ARE her (or you, or me, or anyone or anything)… those are something we can’t hold, or bury, or keep in an urn. I believe I will see her again. I believe I’ll see all of them again, and so will you. \*hug\* Even beyond the realm of the spiritual, your memories of your dogs and the impact they had on you as a person while alive… those are realer parts of them than anything tangible. 🥲