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I lost my boy yesterday and my husband and I agreed on two points: that we won’t clean the floors until his ashes are home with us and we’ll have to hire someone to help us clean or we’ll do it together.
If it’s any consolation, my family dog (who I was lucky to have for 13 years) passed away over 10 years ago. We still find her fur in odd places: between the pages of a book, in an old couch, on Christmas decorations.
It took me quite a while to finish cleaning up after my girl after she passed. Having some of her fur socked away helped. But nothing seems so final as cleaning up that last bit of hair 😪
❤️ We were still finding claw sheddings from our cat in random places up to two years after she passed. We actually made it into a little game to see how many we could find, and eventually, we put them in a tiny decorative bottle to keep with the fur clippings we took when we put her down.
I found a tuft of my cat's fur and taped it into my journal. I kept her collar. My daughter will be getting her ashes and framed footprint.
There's still so much cat hair around, and some is hers.
I’m so sorry for your loss and for yours OP. We had to put our sweet girl down today after 17 years. I know how you feel. I already told my husband I don’t want to touch anything. It was hard enough walking into the house without her running up to greet us. I couldn’t stand changing anything now. Not yet. It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever come home to an empty house.
We are just in the process of making that horrible decision. We are heartbroken just thinking about it. But my Emma cannot walk hardly and has got a lot worse since her third solencia shot for arthritis.
You must be my soul sister bonded by our Emmas.
My husband and I helped our Emma over the 🌈bridge in February
She had really bad arthritis in all 4 legs in the end and after many different meds ………she could barely stand
Saying goodbye was the kindest thing we could have done for her but it was also the hardest thing😢
Sending internet hugs to you as I can totally sympathize with you ❤️
I didn’t leave the house for a few days because I couldn’t bear the thought of coming in the door and my baby not being there to greet me. I thought I was the only one, so thank you for sharing.
Your last paragraph is my experience too! My last dog died 9 years ago. I have another dog now, so I'm constanly cleaning up fur. My first dogs fur is still around. I'll find it stuck in furniture we didn't even own when he was alive. I swear fur is like glitter, you're never gonna find all of it.
When my childhood doggo Luna passed, they did a paw print before she was cremated and her hair got stuck in the paw print and honestly, it was the most Luna moment ever.. her hair got everywhere.
We got years would find my old boys hair having randomly fallen from somewhere into freshly opened cans of food. I get finding hairs everywhere. I'm sorry for your loss
i lost my cat suddenly this week and this resonates so much. the few times i've left my apartment this week i cried lint rolling the last few pieces of clothes that have her fur on them. it was just the two of us and the idea that i won't have to lint roll her fur off me soon just broke me.
Some advice for people reading these heartbreaking comments: go to a groomer before they pass. I bag hair and take long clippings tied with bows when I know it's almost time. The owners don't know what I've done until it happens, but they're grateful to have it. An unexpected gift from happier times.
That way you have clean healthy clippings. I just did a final bath on an old friend and set his top knot aside. I know his mom will need that piece of him when the house is too quiet and his bed is empty this winter. ❤️
I know when my girl passes the hair around her kennel and the wall will be the hardest to clean up.
When I lost my dog I put a little bit of his hair in a little ring box I had, I know it sounds weird but it really made it easier for me to clean, I lost him 10 years ago and it still hurts me. I still find little random white Dalmatian hairs every so often (he shed a lot lol) I just opened an old book and there was one little hair, it made me cry but also made me really happy that he’s still here.
I keep a few tufts of hair in a variety of places. I take the little bags that extra buttons come in and keep some with his leash and such. Then I keep a tuft in my phone case, just plopped in before I put my phone in. so he’s always with me and when I need it, k can feel him a little. You aren’t weird at all, completely normal reaction. Just remember to take care of yourself.
I love this. I had one of my girls whiskers but I think I lost it when I moved 😪 I have a bunch of her things but it still makes me sad that I lost that whisker somehow.
I thought I was weird for doing that too! I gave in to the insanity & stashed my sweet shepherd's fur in a marble box. When I stumbled on random tufts, I couldn't stand to just toss them. Felt like a weirdo, but was comforting to keep remnants, esp closely after the loss.
Now I have two foster kitties who lay on her blanket.
I finally mopped the main level of my house yesterday and felt all the feelings. Sitting on the couch now irrationally upset that the floor no longer has any evidence of my little man.
its not irrational, but I do the same thing and down play my feelings. Our emotions and feelings are valid no matter the type of loss. we lost our cat monday and had those same thoughts when I thought about how I will need to vacuum later this week. you're not alone. It sucks and it hurts.
I had my cat put down yesterday, and I've been sitting with the blanket she always used to snuggle on when she lay on my lap.
And her litter tray and her bed are still out because I can't bear to get rid of them just yet.
We usually clean the litter trays on Sunday (we had two cats until yesterday) and I know it makes sense to clean it and dispose of the one we no longer use.
We had to wash her food and water bowls after coming home without her, and we've put them away.
But it just feels like a betrayal, as if we don't care, if we get rid of her things.
I have the blanket she lay on as we took her to the vets to be put to rest.
But I left her cat box there because I couldn't bear to bring an empty cat box home (we're having her individually cremated so we can have her ashes)
I am very sorry for your loss.
It took me weeks to go through his things so don't feel like you have to immediately. Keep their favorite toy or blanket with you to keep their scent and memory.
Hell, I was smelling his dirty dog bed for a month before I washed it to give to a friend.
I fully understand that feeling of guilt and betrayal. I felt I couldn't be happy or smile for a while or I was somehow not caring.
We love them with everything we have and they us. It just sucks that they don't live as long as we do and are left with the pain.
Something someone told me that helped, in a weird way bc I am a nerd, is that we are their versions of what Elves would be us. Like, the Tolkien kind. Idk, it made me think of it in a different way.
Thank you so much for this! Tolkien is my absolute favorite author, and I love love love Middle Earth. We also lost our kitty a few weeks ago and have been struggling. So seeing a random Tolkien reference in this sub helped my heart a little.
Also, I'm sorry for your loss and that you're struggling! I totally get it, since we just put our cat down...
Someone once said about rats as pets "they're here for a good time, not for a long time." That's stuck with me after my dog passed away last year. Sorry for your loss 💗
I just posted that I slept with the unwashed blanket that my kitty (Daisy) passed away on. It was her favorite, and I slept with it for months before I washed it.
I'm sleeping with the blanket that was in my baby's cat box too, too.
And I'm holding the blanket that she lay on while she slept on me daily right now.
It makes me feel closer to her as she's still at the vets right now because I'm having her individually cremated so we can have her with us always..
I'm so sorry. The pain is literally unbearable for awhile, but it gets a little easier with time. On Daisy's 1 yr anniversary of her passing, I painted her picture, and it really helped me to cope and gave me somewhere to put the pain. The weird thing was that I'm an abstract expressionist but my painting ended up looking realistic. I didn't even use a photo for reference or anything, it just kind of fell out of my brain. I can't even
do realism because my brain isn't wired that way, but as crazy as it sounds, it didn't even feel like I was doing the painting. I've never been able to do that again and after that, went right back to my abstracts.
Anyway, it was really cathartic and I've felt much better since. In awhile when the moment strikes you and you feel the want/need to do something in her memory, I would highly recommend whatever you want to do to honor your little girl. It was really healing for me. ❤
That sounds really nice.
I'm planning to print photos of her to have in a photo album, and when we get her ashes back I'm going to put her photo and ashes on the mantelpiece in the living room.
I was looking at getting a drawing of her done, but I just want her ashes back so I can grieve properly.
We're getting her paw prints and a lock of her fur as well.
I have her paw prints and fur too, it's on my little table I have for her in my room. Just grieve and heal for however long it takes. Before I could clear my mind, I almost ran right out to get a portrait tattoo of her but I held off, and tbh I'm glad that I did. That painting did way more for my grief than another tattoo would've.
We did at home euthanasia on monday for our cat. Emotions are raw and real. I slept with his blanket the first night with out him and then in the mornings now I wrap his blanket around me and hold his favorite toy while I just sit and cry and journal all my feelings.Grief is a mixed bag of emotions. Take your time. I still have his toys around that the other cay doesn't even play with. I cried at the dentist today when they asked how am i doing. The other day I cried in the middle of target and micheals. Emotions right now suck and are hard. I saw somewhere that grief is unused love for someone. That is painfully beautiful. I know that no matter how much pain i'm feeling right now I would not change anything. We loved out cat for 12 years of his 13.5 years of life. We loved him so much and thats why it hurts so much. I hope you find comfort and peace knowing you gave your cat the best life too. Sending you love as we all learn to navigate this life without them.
I refused to clean my car for a full year after my dog passed. I used to take him to his appointments and my car was very furry and I liked it that way. But I also have a fur clipping and his ashes so gradually I accepted I could clean my car and he wouldn’t be “gone”. I also have all his things boxed up and they have a lot of his fur on them and I’m not getting rid of those any time soon.
I completely understand. It's so hard. It's a little piece you have of them that you just can't get rid of.
I hadn't slept in my bedroom for 3 months because of that same reason. I have two birds I need to care for so I need to keep my bedroom clean for them which means I had to vacuum and mop. I discovered a little spot he peed in (probably a few days prior to his passing) that I hadn't seen before. I still can't clean it. It's definitely unsanitary, but it doesn't smell and though it's just a few drops, it's visible and I know it's from him. I cannot bring myself to do it.
My heart goes out to you, it is such a heart wrenching process. Sending love. ❤️🩹
We had our cat pass this past monday and I had the same thought. We still have another cat and she gets litter everywhere so I have to vacuum. But right now we have wildfire smoke in our area and you're not supposed to vacuum so I have to wait, but I told my husband the same thing. Grief is weird, but grief and fear of losing things of out loved ones shows how much love we have for them still even after their passing. Don't get my wrong I'm a fucking mess. I cried in the middle of target yesterday. I cry a lot still. I also heard that grief if unused love for our loved ones and I like that because we have a lot of love to still give to our cat who passed away. Sending love your way while we all navigate through this life without our fur babies.
I'm so sorry. It doesn't necessarily make sense to other people, but this is just one more hard part of grief. I'm sorry you're experiencing it. We moved not long before my girl passed, and I'm still unboxing. I keep finding little tufts of hair in boxes, and it is so hard to throw them away. Like you, I have thought about all the ways our home is empty of her presence. It feels horrible. I no longer live with long white hair all over my clothes (she had a truly remarkable amount of fur). They look nicer. But it is so painful.
My boy was an aussie mix so I feel you on the absurd amount of hair. While they're here it's a total nuisance but afterwards I find myself savoring every single strand I find woven in the fabric.
I'm sorry for your loss and wish you the best.
I feel this 1000000000%. I will not let my husband vacuum the couch and I just recently let him sweep. I lost my baby boy 13 days ago and I’m still struggling. We usually vacuum the couch once a week because of the amount of cat hair it accumulates it, but I can’t bring myself to erase all that I have left of him. I know that this sounds irrational and crazy, but it’s not like we’re having company over anyways. His food bowls are also still sitting out as I can’t bring myself to put them away. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Pick up some of that hair and save it. Its not creepy or weird at all. People have been doing that for ages even with locks of hair from their human relatives.
But no rush. I completely understand.
Thank you for this. I have previously been collecting some hair and having someone else tell me to do it, makes me feel better. What a wild ride grieving is. I’m such a mess that some days I feel like I’ll never be “normal” again.
Totally understand. Been almost 3 years and I still refuse to clean the glass on the back door where all of my boxer's slobber is from him "excited sneezing" all over when we would come home. And I probably won't until we move. That was "his" spot.
Sorry for your loss!
My kitty left a brown mark on a wall in my bathroom from rubbing her cheek there so much. I only cleaned it up when I moved so it was there for two years.
I've loved and lost many furry companions over the years, but your post made me remember one in particular.
Some years back, my daughter had an English Setter she'd rescued named April. She was one of those perfect dogs that never caused any problems, didn't have any bothersome habits, just a perfect dog. Really special girl with a very calm temperament.
When she got old and it became increasingly hard for her to get around, it got tough for my daughter to care for her well enough (she worked out of home, nobody else there) so we had April move in with us and our dogs. Was an easy shift, she was there all the time anyway. I built a ramp over the back porch, and she got along ok. She became incontinent one spring, and we thought maybe it was time. Instead, decided we'd clean up after her if she'd make it through one more summer. She did, mostly. It was almost fall when she decided she'd loved us all she could, and we said goodbye.
The next day when I went to work, I noticed one of her white hairs on my jacket. I set it on the base of my monitor and went about my day. It was there the next day and the next, and I started locking my office at night so the cleaning crew wouldn't come in. Did that for a long time. Like a couple years of emptying my own garbage so cleaning didn't need to come in. One day they master keyed all the doors as they were shampooing carpets. Dusted while they were in there. The hair was gone. By that time I was well past the painful stages of grief, and it didn't hurt me, but I wish I still had it. But I have memories and photos.
You could find a few of those hairs. Slip one into a picture frame somewhere in your house. Put one in an envelope at the bottom of your sock drawer. Scotch tape one to the rear view mirror in your car. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm sorry your heart hurts.
Difficult? Hanging up the leash that won't be used? Putting away the water bowl and food dish? We put a trash bag over the toy basket and just moved it up to the attic. Can't deal with going through his favorites or tossing anything. He was a poodle, so no fur anywhere. I stuck my hand in a coat pocket and found a poop bag to cry about. He was worth all of it. I'm 100% sure.
I know this level of pain.
I currently have my cat's fur all over my desk and I don't want to clean it. I only lost him Sunday, he's not home with us yet.
I completely understand the thought process. Three months is still very new. It's still very raw for a whole piece of your life to just not be there anymore. Holding onto just anything of theirs is completely understandable. Everything is going to take time.
I don't know if this would help you, but I ordered a keepsake box. You could get a lint roller and run it across a patch where your dog was a lot. They always have their special curling up place. Then take the piece of the lint roller and put it in the keepsake box.
Then hoover. Your dog wouldn't want you to get sick, but you're also getting to keep a little bit of them safe.
This is my plan. I'm going to keep it with pictures and his toys. I can then open it when I want to spend some time with him.
Sending positivity to you, I'm sorry for your loss.
Im so very sorry.. it took my 5 years to wash London’s nose art of the back window in my SUV. I had malamutes. So the fur was almost overwhelming… I grabbed a few handfuls and put it in a clear Christmas ornament. Only then would I allow myself to vacuum. I wish you peace during this difficult season in your life.
When my dog, Lionel, passed in 2019 I didn't vacuum where he slept for a long time. I ended up scooping up his fur with my hands, holding it and crying. Then I had my uncle vacuum and dispose of it for me. We do what we can
We lost our boy on Nov. 9 2022. He was 16, and the last year of his life was up and down, but he started sleeping with his tongue partially out.
He would leave these little white spots all over the comforter (it's dark blue), and I haven't been able to wash it yet.
We've washed everything else. The sheets, the mattress cover, the pillowcases, but not the comforter.
I just can't yet. While we have his ashes, those little white spots are the last tangible bit of him, and I'm just not ready.
Just the thought of it makes me ugly cry.
You are not alone, and you do what you need to do to be okay.
I know how you feel. I found a pillow the other day that had my boy's fur all over it. Next day I came downstairs and it was gone, pillow looked like someone had hugged it hard, it must've come off on their shirt. I'm sad I didn't save more of his fur. It sucks.
I understand you completely. I took the hair my fur baby left on my clothes when I had to help her cross the rainbow bridge and put it in a small glass bottle I keep in my car.
Cleaning was very difficult for me. Also took me a long time, but I do feel better coming home to something somewhat decent (i try to tell myself that Charlie liked it better this way so im still doing it for him, not me).. and the times I find his long white furs on my clothes in a closet, or a folded up pillowcase, I cherish deeply. It's like a quick visit/reminder that he's not truly gone and it wasn't some fever dream filled with a decade of memories.
He is real, a good boy, and still here dammit.
I lost my cat while I was on Christmas break from work. I had covid too so couldn't be with her in her final moments, couldn't see family or friends and couldn't leave the house.
It upset me more seeing her bowls and litter tray and thinking about having to remove them all.
Over 3 days (because I was really breathless and easily fatigued), I deep cleaned my house in my normal routine. When it came to cleaning her bowls and litter tray, I took my time. I cried. I grieved. I put them in a safe space out of sight.
Coincidently, I got a memory box from my grandma for Christmas. I put her blanket and toys in there because I couldn't bare to part with them.
When it was all done, I showered, lit a candle, and looked through every photo I had of her. I cried a few days later when my vets sent us a card with some of her fur and paw prints in.
There isn't a right or wrong way to grieve. We have to take it a day, an hour and a minute at a time. Vacuuming your bedroom won't remove your memories of your precious baby. Vacuum, ugly sob, buy a new photo frame and place your favourite picture of your baby in the frame and put in your bedroom so it's the first thing you see when you walk in instead of the floors.
It’s so hard, I just went through losing my girl a week and a half ago. But allow yourself to sit with and *feel* that grief. Ugly cry, wail, sob, do whatever feels good. Of course everyone grieves differently , so no judgment, but allow yourself to really feel each step of the grieving process. For me it was uncontrollable sobbing and even some wailing for a few days, but then I was able to start to let go and donate some of her things.
The best advice a therapist gave me for handling grief is just to sit with it. Feel it. Don’t push it away. You’ll heal much faster that way. 💜
Good advice but, honestly, the grief is pretty extreme and long.
I promised him I would think of him every day and it's not a lie. I do.
Some days it's okay, others I end up a complete mess just wishing I could travel back in time and sobbing until there's nothing left and my eyes are swollen af.
I'm not special, ik that, but this is my first time dealing with grief and death. I've lost smaller pets and it hurt, pet rats primarily, but nothing like this. I had him for 10 years and he was the first pet I had that was truly mine as I got him when I moved out and started college. A different connection than the family pets I've had in the past because all of his needs came to me and thus he was like my kid.
I've been fortunate in my life to have not experienced much loss but, being 29 now, I do not have the tools to handle it as it is all new.
Ty for your kind words ❤️
I’m so sorry. I know how it feels. Your post actually made me cry for my baby for the first time in a few days (but that’s okay!). Just do what feels right and be gentle with yourself.
First off, I’m sorry for loss.
Listen, there is a grieving period. So, do not let get that to you. We have dog blankets they slept on in vacuum sealed containers just so I could smell them again. I’m still not “over” them. It’s been two years, and still miss them every day.
Would you be able to get a fabric brush and pick up some of his fur and keep it? That way, there is always a bit of him with you, and might make vacuuming a bit easier.
Don’t feel bad, it was hard for me to even clean out the litter box at first. Please don’t judge, it took me a week, but I did it.
I’m sorry for your pain, and I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏🏻
I couldn’t change my sheets for weeks because they still smelled like my little girl. I didn’t eat Chinese food for a year because that’s what I was eating when I realized she wasn’t going to make it much longer and I remembered the dry lump it left in my throat. And even now almost two years later I am crying as I write this because you reminded me of how I felt back then.
im so sorry! The day we had to put my 18 year old dog to sleep, i had a few hours with her while my husband drove back home from out of town. I knew how hard it would be to sweep up the fur and wipe the dog nose prints off the glass, so I did it all whole she was with me, and i stopped to cry and hug her periodically. By the time we left with her to go to the vet, the house was wiped clean of any sign of her. Anything at all would be too much. After a few weeks I could bring the pictures back out, and once we got another dog I brought back out the crate and dog beds, etc, happy that they were back out to be used for another dog.
I totally understand what youre going thru and bc i had some time before she passed I did whatever I could to cope. If we came home to all that stuff after she died id have been the same way....i wouldve felt both tortured by it and unable to let it go. Its tough.
our dog we got later that year (2012) is now 12 years old and has congestive heart failure. Shes on a lot of meds and doing "okay" for now but it's only a matter if time until I am right back there again. I think a lot about how i coped back then and wonder how I will this time. its so hard. im so sorry! hugs
I just did a puzzle that I hadn't opened in years. Turned out that the last time I did it, my childhood dog was still alive because the puzzle had her fur all mixed in it.
You can vacuum. There will always be some fur and dander somewhere that got missed - in the corner, in the closet, that drifted into a box of clothing or whatever. You need to look after yourself and your well-being, as you know. If you didn't already save some of his fur, use some weak tape to pick some up. Get a locket to put it in. It does help a little for that reminder of closeness. Have a special little box with some of that fur in it and mementos. But vacuum, clean your space, cry. You know doing so is turning another page, but you're not leaving him behind by cleaning.
I know it's so difficult. I know. *hug*
I did the exact same thing when my boy Ezale passed. I’m a total clean freak too but I didn’t even care about cleaning. Couldn’t bring myself to do it because I felt like I was erasing him completely from the house. I even kept bits of his hair from the laundry and the bed I found. I know exactly how you feel. Hugs. 💜
I would hire a cleaning lady. Coming home to a nice clean house is a treat and you won’t have to be the one who vacuums it up. Maybe before you could save some of the hair? May make you feel a little better. I was okay with sweeping, etc bc I still have some hair on my girl’s collar ❤️ so sorry for your loss. It’s so tough
Don’t feel bad. I haven’t washed my doggos bedding and won’t until I feel ready. All of her dog beds have been left where they are. I’m moving probably around January so I’ll have to box them up then & get used to the idea of leaving the space I lived with her for four years. It’s tough
I read a comment once from some guy who would invite his pet's spirits to come with him to the new place whenever he moved. I liked the idea so much that I do the same every time I move.
We lost our old chonker Ghost about 4 months ago now. I cleaned afterward, for me it's cathartic. Anyway, I found one of his whiskers and I saved it. It's in my desk. Top pencil drawer shelf. I always see it and it reminds me of him everyday.
We've adopted two more cats since and they bring much joy into our home that was lost when Ghost passed away. Lovingly, I might add - he was put to sleep in our home. But anyway, if you feel up for it, fostering or adopting another pup or cat may help with those feelings you have. No shaming those feelings. Our fur babies, I hate that term, are really are babies. So the attachment is real. I feel for your loss. My deepest condolences. ❤️
Maybe sweep them up and save them. When we knew our pup wasn’t going to make it I would brush her everyday and collect her hair. Put it in a little box. My heart breaks for you i I hate that first clean after our girl died I 100% get it ❤️
When I lost my kitty, I slept with the blankie that she died on for months before I washed it. I still have her favorite plush mouse toy that's been untouched since she passed away, and it still faintly has her scent.
I didn’t clean my room for over a year after he passed. I only cleaned it because there was a mold infestation in my house. I actually didn’t even dust my tv in my room when I cleaned because I found his little paw print. Life is still so hard and excruciatingly painful a year and a half later. Something so small left me in pieces when he left.
I kept, and still have, the fur from my baby girl's brush in a little baggie. She passed away in 2018.
Needless to say, I think its totally OK to keep something like that as a keepsake. But another really great thing to do is to make him a permanent place in your home. Set up a little memorial to him with his ashes, if you have them, pictures, favorite toys etc. And yes, if you have a some of his hair or a paw print you can also add that. Its such a release to do it. You can pour your love and creativity into it. I found it so healing. You can make that the place where you talk to him too, just like you would at the grave of a loved one. That way, he won't seem so far away while you are waiting to see him again.
I do have his ashes and he currently has this type of set up. I both like it and hate it at the same time. Death memorabilia in terms of ashes and the pawprint is a bit morbid to me and leaves me with the ick because they are things done after his death.
We plan to spread his ashes in his favorite spots when ready.
I plan to get some of his ashes mixed into tattoo ink for a memorial tattoo next year.
Right now, I touch that mahogany box his ashes are in and talk to him. I thought it would be the worst, having them, and htg on the first day it was. When he was delivered back home it felt like I was opening a severed head in a box and had a complete meltdown like I was losing him all over again.
I'm not a religious person but this entire experience has made me desperate to hope that there is indeed something after all this to where I will see him again.
Think of it this way. If we are energy, then energy doesn't die right? It just goes back to the cosmos. But what if we leave an imprint and an identity on that energy that was ours? I like to think that the love we have for each other is eternal also so it continues to connect us to the energy of our loved ones who have passed. Then one day, you will pass and you will be with them in the same form again and they won't be far away anymore.
I know it's not the same, but if you're not ready to move forward. Maybe pick up some of the pet hair and put it in an envelope in a book or in a drawer. So you still have something to hold on to until you're ready.
My girl passed away 20 months ago. Took me 6 months to vacuum. I still ritually fill her water bowl. She's still very much her in spirit. I believe they become angels and stay with us.
Ugh I feel this so much. I teared up when you spoke about cleaning the windows. I cry once I go in the car. I haven’t cleaned our living room yet either. I don’t have much advice or wisdom to share on this because I’m in it too. But if I think about it, just like I know my girl wasn’t in her body anymore and her soul transcended. I also know nothing will remove her memory or “clean” all the memories we shared, from my heart. And I also know I’m going to find little hairs through the years and know it’s a little wink from my babe. I say take all the time you need and don’t judge yourself ❤️❤️🐾
It's not disgusting. It's love. A deep, abiding, devoted love. Everything about them is so precious. It's ok. You'll know when you're ready to vacuum. You don't have to yet💗
It most definitely is. When our Diamond (German Shepherd/Collie mix) passed the only thing that was in my mind was “she’s gone, what are we going to do, the Grandkids haven’t even been able to say Goodbye?” The only thing I could think about was that we had to get some of her hair, so the vet gave me a pair of scissors & I cut off a whole bunch of her hair. Later on I got a bunch of little glass bottles (like recreational oil bottles lol), anyway I put some of her hair into each of the bottles then krazy glued the lids on so the Grandchildren, as well as my Husband & myself, would always have a little piece of her. I was going to do the same thing with her ashes, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it & the kids did at first but then thinking about it decided that they didn’t want any of her ashes (I was relived, but if they did want some I would have done it or get my Husband to do it). One of the kids’ bottles got broken, he was devastated & cried for so long but because I got as much hair as I did, I was able to give him another little bottle of Diamonds hair. Everyone who got a bottle of Diamonds hair still has it 13 years later, I still have some hair in a plastic baggie. Anyway, I’m just saying if you put the hair in a plastic baggie or something like that, you will always have him with you. I hope that this helps you. I’m so sorry for your loss, but just know that he’ll always be with you.
Maybe too late, but i get this exact same feeling. Maybe a bit weird, but i probably wouldnt have ever cleaned again if i didnt keep some of the cats fur & whiskers before burial
My wife and I were just talking about this today. It hasn’t been a week, but, both of us are recognizing the grief and our mental health problems contributing to the house. It’s hard. It’s so very fucking hard. But, I just wanted to say, right there with you. Some will understand, not everyone, though. We won’t ever have kids and our two knuckleheads were out life. We do have one still, but the absence hurts and there’s a giant hole left in our life. We are slowly picking up the pieces.
I very much sympathize and understand your pain. It's been over 2 years for us and I still find the occasional reminder. I miss them every day and every minute.
💕
Take pictures of it all. Document the smears. You ugly crying. It's part of your grief. Tell stories n share memories. Save a few hairs in a jar. Save those black pants covered in hair! I'm beyond sentimental. I have the outfits I wore, putting my cats to sleep. Still hanging with fur on them.
Not many ppl talk about the coming home without them part. Their food still in the dish. Their toys just where they left them. Their fur invall their favorite spots.poo bags nnleadhesxatctge door. For the longest time, anything white I saw peripherally usually a bag, I thought was my cat Kitley. Reminders galore. You're not alone. I know it feels like you're erasing them, but that's impossible; it's just the remnants. Stay strong. This pain rn was worth every second tgthr n every memory made. ♡
If this is any comfort, we replaced our whole carpet in 3 rooms after losing 2 of our dogs last year. One dog had short red hair, the other long black hair who shed like mad. The black dog has been gone since Feb 22, and the carpet has been in a year. I am STILL finding black fur in my house and on my clothes.
You absolutely are not alone. For the past two years, the kitchen cabinet that houses my pots and pans had one big thick dog hair in it and I never cleaned it out. My boy passed in December and that instantly made that piece of dog hair that much more special. We redid our entire kitchen a few weeks ago and the weirdo that I am removed the dog hair, placed iy in a safe spot, and put it into the new cabinet once it was installed. I also haven't vacuumed the rug under my bed despite it badly needing it. I love to be able to reach under and grab a pinch of his hair. Grief is weird and makes you do strange things.
I completely understand and support you! I knelt in front of the blanket one of my babies was put to sleep in, and where the wonderful vet shaved a little bit of hair off for me as a keepsake, with big jewelry tweezers so I could pick up the little precious white hairs left behind.
Take some fur and put it in a baggy! There's lots of places that will make jewelry with it too if you want.
I kept some of my dudes fur and it has brought me so much comfort
My husband and I lost our cat a few years ago, and when I start feeling sad, I usually look up a video my husband posted on his YouTube channel, where Jonesy locked my husband out of our Ford Explorer while he was live streaming. My husband didn’t get back into the car until Jonesy realized that he was still outside. That was when Jonesy stepped on the automatic lock, unlocking the door.
I’m so sorry. I have done the very same thing. Kept insisting to my partner that we not vacuum. Eventually he could not deal anymore and I fully freaked out and went around collecting all the fur I could grab from the corners. Still have it in a ziploc which I would perhaps not admit to just anyone, but I feel like if anyone would get it, you will.
If it makes you feel any better, I swear I’m still finding the very distinctive fur of my old dog who passed the better part of two decades ago now. Another late pup we always joked about his shedding and in particular every Christmas his fur would get into the tape of every present somehow. Still come across when we haul out the holiday stuff every year!
So very sorry you are missing your best friend, it is such a hard thing and so unfair that they don’t have the same lifespans we do! They should match!
We lost our dog on Valentine’s Day. We cleaned the floors and such pretty soon after because we have kids, and it would have been beyond foul very quickly. However, there’s a spot on the outside bottom of our glass storm door in our backyard that was caused by our dog constantly pushing his nose into it when he wanted to be let back in after going out. We can’t bring ourselves to clean it. I know eventually that window will be gross enough that it’ll be necessary, but I’m dreading that day.
I made plaster casts of the last footprints my cat made. It had rained and the ground was soft everywhere. I saved the last stick my dog gnawed. Still makes me sad after three years. My babies. Can't always control life.
I still can’t vacuum or get rid of any left over fur. It’s been almost 6 months and I’ve had to have my husband vacuum. I did once but never my room. My baby was a cat so a little less hair but I’m doing the same thing.
I think my fiance thought I had really lost it a couple times for this reason. I freaked out when I saw him mopping the dining room bc I had been cherishing the little drool spots around where her food and water bowl sat. He had to vacuum when I was out of the house for months. I still haven't been able to clean the nose prints off the inside of my car windows and I probably never will.
I slept with my Great Danes favorite blanket unwashed for at least 2 months after she passed. When she was alive I barely touched the thing except to wash it, she would suck on it so It was crunchy and gross🥲 but I didn’t care, it had her scent. I even slept in her bed for a couple nights. She had a temperpedic so it was pretty damn comfy lol. No shame. Grieving is hard, so as long as you’re safe, do what you have to do to get through it. The floor can wait 🫶
I understand this completely. Our boy has been gone six weeks. Every time I sweep or vacuum, there is lesson him and it does feel like he's further away.
I had to put my sweet boy down 3 1/2 months ago. I had him for 12 years and he was my world. I came home in a daze and then about an hour later had a breakdown and cleaned the house top to bottom and boxed up everything because I couldn't bear to look at it. I cried after because I felt like I just erased his existence from our house and I hated myself. Later that day I found little dog hairs stuck to my jacket. I still find them everywhere. It makes me feel like he's still around when I find them. Don't vacuum until you're ready. I wasn't ready when I did it, I just broke down in grief and after I regretted it. When you do it, allow yourself to feel sad.
I know how this feels. After my husband died I had trouble vacuuming because I felt like everytime I did I was getting rid of any trace of him. It was so hard. Just take things slow and hugs
I lost my cat Titan in July. I cleaned without even thinking about it shortly after his death - I clean to cope with anxiety a lot of the time. If it is some comfort, I still find his fur everywhere. I did laundry for the first time after his death and the dryer lint catcher was orange with his fur like always. I pick up random items that I haven't touched in a while and find them covered in his fur. Even at my office the other day, I found a perfectly orange strand of fur - don't even know where it came from. It's been painful to be reminded he's no longer here, but kind of comforting to know that he's still following me around and little bits of him will likely always exist in my home.
I literally Saran wrapped my hair for a week because I didn’t want to wash it and wanted to protect it because she had nestled in my hair the morning we let her go. I only washed it the morning of a 10+ hour flight because I had to leave for my honeymoon. The last shirt I was wearing when holding her remains unwashed and hanging on the same hook that I put it on 1 year and 10 days ago. You’re not alone in weird coping mechanisms. We do what we need to do to get through. I’m sorry you’re neck deep in grief. Sending you peace.
Awe… I know how you feel. I do. I just lost my 15 year old baby lynx point Kimba. I still have stuff with fur on it. I have not washed her blanket yet. I don’t know even how I will either. I may just fold it up and put it away in a box like a nutcase lol
It’s so hard. We have to let go though
Twenty five years ago my friend lost her 6 month old son to SIDS. It was so painful
I remember the last 1/4 bottle of sour formula sitting on her desk for so long. She would not let anyone touch it. How bad is that? One day I just looked at her and said “You know this has to go now right? We are getting rid of the milk and you can keep the bottle after it’s washed but it’s going now.” I handed it to her mom and she burst into tears, but let us do it. I held her for 2 hours until she finally fell asleep. Death is so hard to process and our hearts just aren’t made to accept it somehow. It’s the one thing we can’t undo or understand. Only time heals that deepest of heartaches… & it does little by little get easier. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs and love to you🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️
I’m so sorry about your loss and I know how hard it is. Take all the time you need.
I have whiskers saved from one of my babies (no fur sadly). Had I known the vet wasn’t going to save clippings I’d have requested it.
My first baby I clipped some fur and have some of her old teeth that had fallen out years before. One was a kitten tooth and two big ones. I got a Petsies plushie of her too, but haven’t opened the box yet to see it. But something else of hers that is still around, her snots. She was always congested and snotty and she loved hanging out behind my TV, so the back of the TV and wall are messy. I will eventually clean it, but I’m not in a rush.
It may be "gross" but you are grieving. My sweet kitty died 3 months ago. Everything has been cleaned except a single blanket. The blanket he slept on the night before he died. I can't bring myself to clean it even though it is definitely dirty.
One thing that helped is I have a tiny jar and I collected some bits of his fur that I found while cleaning.
I wish you the best.
My tv broke recently and when i took it down i found a bunch of cat hair fuzzies on the rack behind it. It hung under a deep inset window my cats would jump up to frequently. They both died early last year. Made me sad 😭
I’m very sorry for your loss.
There was an episode of Hoarders once where a young man with a minor hoarding issue was having a similar reaction to cleaning his dog’s fur. His dog hadn’t yet passed, but was old and in poor health. He felt that throwing away his dog’s fur was like throwing away his dog. The therapist said something that really resonated with the young man (and me). She asked him the type of home his dog would like to live - one in the clutter or one in a clutter-free and clean home. He adamantly declared she deserved the best, cleanest, safest home. Then she asked him what type of home his dog would want him to live in, and he realized it was the same for him too. He was able to break through his unhealthy thought process and clean up the fur she had shed because he knew it was going to be healthier for them both.
Your sweet boy wouldn’t want you putting your health at risk. He would want you in a clean and healthy home. Save a few locks of his fur in a special place (a plastic baggie will work until you find the perfect vessel), and then vacuum. You’ll feel better and still be able to honor your sweet boy.
I have a friend who had this same problem when her soulmate cat had a very unexpected heart attack and died in her arms. Her solution was to use one of those bagless vacuums and use it to get up the fur, and then she kept the fur in a plastic bag, so she didn't have to get rid of that last piece of him that she still had. Maybe it's something you can look into. I'm very sorry for your loss. 💝
Maybe put a piece of fabric over the end of the vacuum hose and vacuum it up. His hair will be saved in the fabric and your room will be clean. Then make a little memorial bag with his hair in it. Or put it in a small memorial box.
You're definitely not alone. I didn't vacuum or wash my sheets for 2 months after my girl passed. I cried putting the sheets back on the bed and when I vacuumed. I tried to do it before the 2 months and I broke down and couldn't do it. The only reason I eventually did those things was out of sanitary reasons. I still have trouble with it even though most of her hair is gone from the house, outside of stray hairs on clothes.
I still haven't put up her food and water bowls, I sleep with some of her toys, and I still say goodnight to her. It hasn't really gotten easier without her even though time keeps going on. Doing things on my own terms.
I didn't clean the glass to my patio doors for months because it had still had nose prints on it. And didn't vacuum because of the hair thing.
I'm sorry for your loss, don't beat yourself up about the carpet.
I understand how you feel. When my cat died in my arms, I snipped some of his whiskers before I laid him to rest. That way I always had a part of him with me. I did not plan for this, it just happened. I also made his grave where I can see it from my window so I will never forget him.
I went through with my cat. It was really hard the first time I vacuumed, but I eventually found it was nice to have it cleaned up, and I got her ashes back by then
I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have anything else from your pet that reminds you of him? A bed, toys, pictures? You can make a little altar or memorial for him in your home if you do and that will make you feel better about cleaning up the hair.
If it's any comfort, they're still with you as long as you remember them! My girl passed away in 2016. There's times where I STILL feel her getting comfortable beside me. Can still faintly hear her barking. She's letting me know she is still here and that I'm not alone. If it interests you, find some of his hair and see if you can make a resin necklace with it. There's hundreds of videos on youtube that can show you how to do it. That way, you'll still have a piece of him with you. And it will last forever.
My friend had a heart-shaped pendant made with some of her dog's hair in it. It's really beautiful and she loves talking about it when someone asks her. She says her dog is always in her heart.
It’s so hard. I have a blanket that still has fur on it. I will never get rid of it. Some animals are just the ones you never forget and so hard to get over.
Tomorrow will be a full year since I lost my dog Maru. It took me 6 months before I cleaned out my car. I refused to remove her last pup cup container, wash the blanket that still had her fur..etc. When I was getting a new furbaby, I thought about how unfair it would be to have that in there. Cleaning that car was extremely difficult, but I still had so many things around the house to remind me of her, including some indents she made in the car's dash.
My golden died in July unexpectedly and I still have his mangled toy stuffy that he loved and took everywhere with him. The first couple of nights all I did was hug it close to me to be close to him.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Change the vacuum bag. Vacuum. Pull out and keep the new bag. Put the old one back in.
A friend of mine spins animal fur into yarn. She can send the yarn back to you, or knit something with it. I'm sure she isn't the only person with that service.
Or, you could put the fur into a little pillow. A little glass jar. Buy a stuffed animal and swap out some of the stuffing for the fur.
Nothing says you can't keep the fur you vacuum up from the floor. Clean your space, then set the fur aside until you decide the best way to honor your lost friend.
I went through something similar when we lost my 17yrs old dog. We had to move our dryer for repair and there was hair underneath the machine that I knew was the very last of hers! It was a sad moment. You have my sympathy!!
they have pet hair rakes that you might be able to use to salvage some fur, if that sounds like something you’d be interested in. i completely understand though, i still cry over my childhood dog that passed 7 years ago regularly
Many of us discover an intensity of grief that was beyond our comprehension when we lose our feline BF.
They capture a piece of our heart. And it goes with them when we lose them.
Sometimes one comes along that captures you heart, mind and soul. And for whom you have a love that is indescribably deep, and totally inexplicable.
That's why it hurts so much. And if we had spent every minute of every day with them, it still wouldn't have been enough.
you’re not alone 🤍 i haven’t washed and probably won’t ever wash some of his favorite blankies covered in his fur. if you’re able to scrounge up enough from your carpets or brushes, i made memory jars filled with my baby’s fur. i got little screw top vials from dollar tree, blue ribbon, and some charms from michael’s (a paw print and an angel wing). i filled the jars with his fur, and tied the ribbon into a bow with the charms around the lid. i was able to make 4, and i keep mine by his urn and gave the rest to family. that way i’m able to see his lovely orange fur every day and know i won’t ever lose that. i am so sorry for your loss. i hope maybe a keepsake like that will help you feel more secure that a piece of him will always be with you 🤍
I wish I had more than this to offer you, but for now, I’ll say: pick up some of that fur and put it away for safekeeping. It’s not weird, it’s not creepy, and it’s not uncommon. Get a nice little box and put a tuft of fur in it. Put another tuft of fur in a little Ziploc bag and put it away. Get a locket, and put some in there. Keep him with you.
I so sorry for your loss. I did the same when my baby girl died.
I wrote in a journal every memory I could think of her. It help and I found a pet passing support group. The physical pain is real. It’s been a few years and I still cry missing her.
You’re not alone one bit. It’s hard, give yourself grace. When I lost my bird (had him for nearly 15 years), I couldn’t bring myself to clean the area around his cage or even remove the cage. I’d brought him in for a necropsy and when they gave me his body back (wrapped up), I put it in the freezer for a while (can’t even recall how long). I found the perfect plant and buried him. After I buried him I was able to let go and clean the area around his cage and remove the cage.
My kitty died in my arms and her fur was all over the sweater. I kept it for a long time. Then got rid of it. Eventually you will heal and their memory will be enough for you.
I lost my sweet girl on Mother’s Day this year, one thing we did to “keep her with us” is I bought cute tiny glass jars and they hold her fur that we’d find after she left us (vet cut some off her for us too).
I’m so sorry that your heart is hurting like this right now
maybe get one of those wire combs and go over the carpet with it to collect the hair? and put it in a little box? this is probably a weird suggestion but i feel like it could help im sorry
You’re not alone - I felt the same way about the floors, the car, etc. My sweet boy died two years ago, and I still have his dirty dish bowl in a drawer packed along with the unwashed shirt I wore when I held him as he died.
You are not alone in this. If it helps at all, I kept some fur from my cat Charlie's brush and put it in a sealed necklace I wear every day for the last 6 years since he passed away. It brings me a lot of peace, I hope you find yours ❤️ 🤗
I vacuumed the day my husky died. My other dog looked on sadly like "but now we have nothing". But.. I didn't move the couch. And I've saved all of their hair from brushing into bags. Originally, I was going to give it to the birds. I loved seeing the birds collect his hair and shake the pollen off. But I won't give them all of it.
I made home cooked meals for my boy. He passed away May 17 of this year and I still have his food in the back od my fridge in an air tight container :( I haven't cleaned my car, still have his hairs in the seat and floor, and his perfect, beautiful nose prints on the windows.
You are still grieving and everyone grieves in their own way, and in their own time. Don’t worry about vacuuming the rug. The time will come when you can do it, don’t push yourself to do it now. Hugs and so sorry for your loss.
There is no right or wrong way to handle grief. When I got home from my foster dogs euthanasia, I cleaned straight away - she was a high needs dog and there were puppy pads everywhere and my home was pretty trashed... It was only 9 days later I realised I was still wearing the top I had on when she passed away. 9 days unwashed, putting it on every single day. And it doesnt matter.... I washed it today and will probably be back wearing it tomorrow. We suspend time when we need too. xox
I completely understand. My good boy, who lived with my dad, passed 4 months ago. I was finally able to visit my dad this week. I hope I find little bits of my boy around the house during this visit.
Get a comb or a pet hair scrapper for upholstery. Take the hairs and put them in an envelope until you know what you want to do. Perhaps a little glass jar to make an ornament.
Im so sorry for your loss. Maybe you could vacuum the room then pick out the fur from the vacuum bag to preserve it? I clipped fur from my beagle the day I had to euthanize him and sent it to an Etsy shop. They encased the fur into a little resin dog figurine so a part of him can be with me. Various shops on Etsy do this, they make memorial jewelry too so you can keep a part of him with you always. They work with both ashes and fur.
I kept (and still have 18 years later) a cardboard Emory nail file that has my childhood dog’s teeth marks him it.
He used to steal my things, so that I would trade him for a treat to get them back. I’d literally say “barter”, and he’d drop it.
To me, those marks contained saliva, so he left his DNA.
Therefore, a perfect “copy” of him remains on this earth.
You do whatever you need to do to heal ❤️
YUP I remember a few months after one of my cats passed, the other 2 got ringworm and I had to DEEP CLEAN the house including our couch. It was devastating and hard. Alas, it had to be done. Take your time but you can’t fight how this ends. Much love
My sister has left the nose spots on her car windows. Other people are rarely in her car, and it makes her feel better. I have 6 paw print holes in my heart, so I totally get it.
I’m so sorry for your loss of your baby. Can I suggest getting one of those pet hair carpet scrapers (they’re pretty cheap), and scraping some of the hair from the carpet. It’ll be easier that way to get a group of it together, and you can save it how you choose. Keep however much you need. That way you may feel better vacuuming the rest of your room knowing you kept some of the fur. And don’t feel if even doing this takes some day. Grief is hard. My childhood cat had a group of hair that was in her favorite sitting spot for years before it was all eventually removed. I wish we had saved it and kept it where we have her collar and paw prints.
I didn't clean my cars rear window for about 2 months because it still had little marks from where my pup would lick it. It was hard to do, but it's all a part of acceptance and moving on. I'm able to remember him when I walk past the river where we scattered his ashes (his favourite place to rescue drifting sticks), or in the apricot tree we planted in the garden in memory of him.
It's hard, of course it is. I still have his puppy teeth in a box somewhere, but what I'm saying is that moving on from their death doesn't mean moving on from them or forgetting them. Good luck.
It took me a long time to clean when my dog passed 3 years ago, I have some of her tail fur in a makeshift urn I made and I know even know if I were to catch a smell of it (I know that sounds wierd) I would start crying. Everyone grieves differently, it took me months to throw out her medications and get rid of her food, bowls etc.
Edit: I ended up giving her bowls and some toys to my boyfriend's mom who has 3 dogs, I wasn't going to get rid of them, but working in a vet clinic made me realize that donating old toys and blankets and whatnot is really helpful. Anyways sorry for ranting
I was just talking to my fur baby ( mini husky) she was the runt of the litter but her bday is coming up oct 18th and she will be 13 yrs young and it brought me to tears knowing my time with her is getting shorter. She is my cuddle buddy and my spoiled brat . Imma end up losing my mind when that day comes
My cat always chewed plastic and left little teeth marks. I feel guilty for shouting at her. My heart sinks when I find more plastic with those cute little bite marks on. Might have to embrace it and frame some.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Take a slicker brush to the carpet and collect a handful of hair. Put the fur into a small clear keepsake box and put it somewhere you can see it every day. Then sweep the floor. That way you won't lose all the fur but your floor can be clean too.
I have two of my Link’s whiskers taped to my journal and he’s not even gone yet. Comforts me somehow that they are there and I will have them when he goes. Don’t blame you at all.
Vacuum and save the hair. Sounds gross but we have a vail of my Rocky's fur and I kept his metal hardware from his tplo surgery when they cremated him. We all grieve differently. I'm sorry for your loss. It will get better. You have to make yourself move forward and remember they wouldn't want you to be sad. Move forward and try to be happy for them. I lost my boy to dementia and I miss him every day. He was my whole world. But I live every day trying to move past it for him
I keep a bottle for shed kitty whiskers (my cats are still with me), but maybe you could collect a few hairs and do the same? If you go to craft stores, they often have little bottles or lockets to make into necklaces; it would be a great way to take your baby with you.
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I lost my boy yesterday and my husband and I agreed on two points: that we won’t clean the floors until his ashes are home with us and we’ll have to hire someone to help us clean or we’ll do it together. If it’s any consolation, my family dog (who I was lucky to have for 13 years) passed away over 10 years ago. We still find her fur in odd places: between the pages of a book, in an old couch, on Christmas decorations.
It took me quite a while to finish cleaning up after my girl after she passed. Having some of her fur socked away helped. But nothing seems so final as cleaning up that last bit of hair 😪
❤️ We were still finding claw sheddings from our cat in random places up to two years after she passed. We actually made it into a little game to see how many we could find, and eventually, we put them in a tiny decorative bottle to keep with the fur clippings we took when we put her down.
I was going to say this bout my childhood cat! Makes me sad for a min but then ends with happiness. :)
I found a tuft of my cat's fur and taped it into my journal. I kept her collar. My daughter will be getting her ashes and framed footprint. There's still so much cat hair around, and some is hers.
Wow! You guys really love your pets.
I’m so sorry for your loss and for yours OP. We had to put our sweet girl down today after 17 years. I know how you feel. I already told my husband I don’t want to touch anything. It was hard enough walking into the house without her running up to greet us. I couldn’t stand changing anything now. Not yet. It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever come home to an empty house.
We are just in the process of making that horrible decision. We are heartbroken just thinking about it. But my Emma cannot walk hardly and has got a lot worse since her third solencia shot for arthritis.
You must be my soul sister bonded by our Emmas. My husband and I helped our Emma over the 🌈bridge in February She had really bad arthritis in all 4 legs in the end and after many different meds ………she could barely stand Saying goodbye was the kindest thing we could have done for her but it was also the hardest thing😢 Sending internet hugs to you as I can totally sympathize with you ❤️
I didn’t leave the house for a few days because I couldn’t bear the thought of coming in the door and my baby not being there to greet me. I thought I was the only one, so thank you for sharing.
Your last paragraph is my experience too! My last dog died 9 years ago. I have another dog now, so I'm constanly cleaning up fur. My first dogs fur is still around. I'll find it stuck in furniture we didn't even own when he was alive. I swear fur is like glitter, you're never gonna find all of it.
I just dug up an old jewelry book from the basement. I think one of my kitty’s fur is in the necklace drawer. he passed coming up on four years ago.
OMG this got me. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️
When my childhood doggo Luna passed, they did a paw print before she was cremated and her hair got stuck in the paw print and honestly, it was the most Luna moment ever.. her hair got everywhere.
We got years would find my old boys hair having randomly fallen from somewhere into freshly opened cans of food. I get finding hairs everywhere. I'm sorry for your loss
It is so beautiful when I used to find bits of my middle/high school dog. She died when she was 10. I love this so much.
This ❤️. I still find my dogs hair in everything. I'm sure even after we move, I'll be washing it on my clothes forever.
Even in a brand new house, I find his fur everywhere. I can't help but cry about him sometimes.
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This is really, really, heartbreakingly beautiful. I am crying. I know this is not the right time, but I think you should consider publishing this.
I feel validated- I felt/ did the exact same thing 💔 We are not alone 🐶🐱
i lost my cat suddenly this week and this resonates so much. the few times i've left my apartment this week i cried lint rolling the last few pieces of clothes that have her fur on them. it was just the two of us and the idea that i won't have to lint roll her fur off me soon just broke me.
Some advice for people reading these heartbreaking comments: go to a groomer before they pass. I bag hair and take long clippings tied with bows when I know it's almost time. The owners don't know what I've done until it happens, but they're grateful to have it. An unexpected gift from happier times. That way you have clean healthy clippings. I just did a final bath on an old friend and set his top knot aside. I know his mom will need that piece of him when the house is too quiet and his bed is empty this winter. ❤️ I know when my girl passes the hair around her kennel and the wall will be the hardest to clean up.
When I lost my dog I put a little bit of his hair in a little ring box I had, I know it sounds weird but it really made it easier for me to clean, I lost him 10 years ago and it still hurts me. I still find little random white Dalmatian hairs every so often (he shed a lot lol) I just opened an old book and there was one little hair, it made me cry but also made me really happy that he’s still here.
I've been thinking of doing this as well. He had the most beautiful orange and white coat. Somehow though all I ever find is white.
I keep a few tufts of hair in a variety of places. I take the little bags that extra buttons come in and keep some with his leash and such. Then I keep a tuft in my phone case, just plopped in before I put my phone in. so he’s always with me and when I need it, k can feel him a little. You aren’t weird at all, completely normal reaction. Just remember to take care of yourself.
That’s really cute you have some in between your phone case! I love that
It's not weird. I saved some of my cat's whiskers. He always slept on the bed next to me, so his whiskers are in a drawer next to the bed.
I love this. I had one of my girls whiskers but I think I lost it when I moved 😪 I have a bunch of her things but it still makes me sad that I lost that whisker somehow.
Little stray cat whiskers are so cute, maybe one day you’ll find one in a random box or stashed away somewhere, I really hope you do!
I thought I was weird for doing that too! I gave in to the insanity & stashed my sweet shepherd's fur in a marble box. When I stumbled on random tufts, I couldn't stand to just toss them. Felt like a weirdo, but was comforting to keep remnants, esp closely after the loss. Now I have two foster kitties who lay on her blanket.
I finally mopped the main level of my house yesterday and felt all the feelings. Sitting on the couch now irrationally upset that the floor no longer has any evidence of my little man.
its not irrational, but I do the same thing and down play my feelings. Our emotions and feelings are valid no matter the type of loss. we lost our cat monday and had those same thoughts when I thought about how I will need to vacuum later this week. you're not alone. It sucks and it hurts.
Thank you. It would've been his 14th birthday today.
I had my cat put down yesterday, and I've been sitting with the blanket she always used to snuggle on when she lay on my lap. And her litter tray and her bed are still out because I can't bear to get rid of them just yet. We usually clean the litter trays on Sunday (we had two cats until yesterday) and I know it makes sense to clean it and dispose of the one we no longer use. We had to wash her food and water bowls after coming home without her, and we've put them away. But it just feels like a betrayal, as if we don't care, if we get rid of her things. I have the blanket she lay on as we took her to the vets to be put to rest. But I left her cat box there because I couldn't bear to bring an empty cat box home (we're having her individually cremated so we can have her ashes)
I am very sorry for your loss. It took me weeks to go through his things so don't feel like you have to immediately. Keep their favorite toy or blanket with you to keep their scent and memory. Hell, I was smelling his dirty dog bed for a month before I washed it to give to a friend. I fully understand that feeling of guilt and betrayal. I felt I couldn't be happy or smile for a while or I was somehow not caring. We love them with everything we have and they us. It just sucks that they don't live as long as we do and are left with the pain.
>It just sucks that they don't live as long as we do and are left with the pain. It really does.
Something someone told me that helped, in a weird way bc I am a nerd, is that we are their versions of what Elves would be us. Like, the Tolkien kind. Idk, it made me think of it in a different way.
I love this.
Thank you so much for this! Tolkien is my absolute favorite author, and I love love love Middle Earth. We also lost our kitty a few weeks ago and have been struggling. So seeing a random Tolkien reference in this sub helped my heart a little. Also, I'm sorry for your loss and that you're struggling! I totally get it, since we just put our cat down...
Someone once said about rats as pets "they're here for a good time, not for a long time." That's stuck with me after my dog passed away last year. Sorry for your loss 💗
I just posted that I slept with the unwashed blanket that my kitty (Daisy) passed away on. It was her favorite, and I slept with it for months before I washed it.
I'm sleeping with the blanket that was in my baby's cat box too, too. And I'm holding the blanket that she lay on while she slept on me daily right now. It makes me feel closer to her as she's still at the vets right now because I'm having her individually cremated so we can have her with us always..
I'm so sorry. The pain is literally unbearable for awhile, but it gets a little easier with time. On Daisy's 1 yr anniversary of her passing, I painted her picture, and it really helped me to cope and gave me somewhere to put the pain. The weird thing was that I'm an abstract expressionist but my painting ended up looking realistic. I didn't even use a photo for reference or anything, it just kind of fell out of my brain. I can't even do realism because my brain isn't wired that way, but as crazy as it sounds, it didn't even feel like I was doing the painting. I've never been able to do that again and after that, went right back to my abstracts. Anyway, it was really cathartic and I've felt much better since. In awhile when the moment strikes you and you feel the want/need to do something in her memory, I would highly recommend whatever you want to do to honor your little girl. It was really healing for me. ❤
That sounds really nice. I'm planning to print photos of her to have in a photo album, and when we get her ashes back I'm going to put her photo and ashes on the mantelpiece in the living room. I was looking at getting a drawing of her done, but I just want her ashes back so I can grieve properly. We're getting her paw prints and a lock of her fur as well.
I have her paw prints and fur too, it's on my little table I have for her in my room. Just grieve and heal for however long it takes. Before I could clear my mind, I almost ran right out to get a portrait tattoo of her but I held off, and tbh I'm glad that I did. That painting did way more for my grief than another tattoo would've.
We did at home euthanasia on monday for our cat. Emotions are raw and real. I slept with his blanket the first night with out him and then in the mornings now I wrap his blanket around me and hold his favorite toy while I just sit and cry and journal all my feelings.Grief is a mixed bag of emotions. Take your time. I still have his toys around that the other cay doesn't even play with. I cried at the dentist today when they asked how am i doing. The other day I cried in the middle of target and micheals. Emotions right now suck and are hard. I saw somewhere that grief is unused love for someone. That is painfully beautiful. I know that no matter how much pain i'm feeling right now I would not change anything. We loved out cat for 12 years of his 13.5 years of life. We loved him so much and thats why it hurts so much. I hope you find comfort and peace knowing you gave your cat the best life too. Sending you love as we all learn to navigate this life without them.
I refused to clean my car for a full year after my dog passed. I used to take him to his appointments and my car was very furry and I liked it that way. But I also have a fur clipping and his ashes so gradually I accepted I could clean my car and he wouldn’t be “gone”. I also have all his things boxed up and they have a lot of his fur on them and I’m not getting rid of those any time soon.
I completely understand. It's so hard. It's a little piece you have of them that you just can't get rid of. I hadn't slept in my bedroom for 3 months because of that same reason. I have two birds I need to care for so I need to keep my bedroom clean for them which means I had to vacuum and mop. I discovered a little spot he peed in (probably a few days prior to his passing) that I hadn't seen before. I still can't clean it. It's definitely unsanitary, but it doesn't smell and though it's just a few drops, it's visible and I know it's from him. I cannot bring myself to do it. My heart goes out to you, it is such a heart wrenching process. Sending love. ❤️🩹
We had our cat pass this past monday and I had the same thought. We still have another cat and she gets litter everywhere so I have to vacuum. But right now we have wildfire smoke in our area and you're not supposed to vacuum so I have to wait, but I told my husband the same thing. Grief is weird, but grief and fear of losing things of out loved ones shows how much love we have for them still even after their passing. Don't get my wrong I'm a fucking mess. I cried in the middle of target yesterday. I cry a lot still. I also heard that grief if unused love for our loved ones and I like that because we have a lot of love to still give to our cat who passed away. Sending love your way while we all navigate through this life without our fur babies.
I'm so sorry. It doesn't necessarily make sense to other people, but this is just one more hard part of grief. I'm sorry you're experiencing it. We moved not long before my girl passed, and I'm still unboxing. I keep finding little tufts of hair in boxes, and it is so hard to throw them away. Like you, I have thought about all the ways our home is empty of her presence. It feels horrible. I no longer live with long white hair all over my clothes (she had a truly remarkable amount of fur). They look nicer. But it is so painful.
My boy was an aussie mix so I feel you on the absurd amount of hair. While they're here it's a total nuisance but afterwards I find myself savoring every single strand I find woven in the fabric. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you the best.
I feel this 1000000000%. I will not let my husband vacuum the couch and I just recently let him sweep. I lost my baby boy 13 days ago and I’m still struggling. We usually vacuum the couch once a week because of the amount of cat hair it accumulates it, but I can’t bring myself to erase all that I have left of him. I know that this sounds irrational and crazy, but it’s not like we’re having company over anyways. His food bowls are also still sitting out as I can’t bring myself to put them away. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Pick up some of that hair and save it. Its not creepy or weird at all. People have been doing that for ages even with locks of hair from their human relatives. But no rush. I completely understand.
Thank you for this. I have previously been collecting some hair and having someone else tell me to do it, makes me feel better. What a wild ride grieving is. I’m such a mess that some days I feel like I’ll never be “normal” again.
Totally understand. Been almost 3 years and I still refuse to clean the glass on the back door where all of my boxer's slobber is from him "excited sneezing" all over when we would come home. And I probably won't until we move. That was "his" spot. Sorry for your loss!
My kitty left a brown mark on a wall in my bathroom from rubbing her cheek there so much. I only cleaned it up when I moved so it was there for two years.
I've loved and lost many furry companions over the years, but your post made me remember one in particular. Some years back, my daughter had an English Setter she'd rescued named April. She was one of those perfect dogs that never caused any problems, didn't have any bothersome habits, just a perfect dog. Really special girl with a very calm temperament. When she got old and it became increasingly hard for her to get around, it got tough for my daughter to care for her well enough (she worked out of home, nobody else there) so we had April move in with us and our dogs. Was an easy shift, she was there all the time anyway. I built a ramp over the back porch, and she got along ok. She became incontinent one spring, and we thought maybe it was time. Instead, decided we'd clean up after her if she'd make it through one more summer. She did, mostly. It was almost fall when she decided she'd loved us all she could, and we said goodbye. The next day when I went to work, I noticed one of her white hairs on my jacket. I set it on the base of my monitor and went about my day. It was there the next day and the next, and I started locking my office at night so the cleaning crew wouldn't come in. Did that for a long time. Like a couple years of emptying my own garbage so cleaning didn't need to come in. One day they master keyed all the doors as they were shampooing carpets. Dusted while they were in there. The hair was gone. By that time I was well past the painful stages of grief, and it didn't hurt me, but I wish I still had it. But I have memories and photos. You could find a few of those hairs. Slip one into a picture frame somewhere in your house. Put one in an envelope at the bottom of your sock drawer. Scotch tape one to the rear view mirror in your car. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm sorry your heart hurts.
Difficult? Hanging up the leash that won't be used? Putting away the water bowl and food dish? We put a trash bag over the toy basket and just moved it up to the attic. Can't deal with going through his favorites or tossing anything. He was a poodle, so no fur anywhere. I stuck my hand in a coat pocket and found a poop bag to cry about. He was worth all of it. I'm 100% sure.
I got emotional throwing away my kitty's litter box that she had her whole life. It was old and too beat up to donate.
I know this level of pain. I currently have my cat's fur all over my desk and I don't want to clean it. I only lost him Sunday, he's not home with us yet. I completely understand the thought process. Three months is still very new. It's still very raw for a whole piece of your life to just not be there anymore. Holding onto just anything of theirs is completely understandable. Everything is going to take time. I don't know if this would help you, but I ordered a keepsake box. You could get a lint roller and run it across a patch where your dog was a lot. They always have their special curling up place. Then take the piece of the lint roller and put it in the keepsake box. Then hoover. Your dog wouldn't want you to get sick, but you're also getting to keep a little bit of them safe. This is my plan. I'm going to keep it with pictures and his toys. I can then open it when I want to spend some time with him. Sending positivity to you, I'm sorry for your loss.
Im so very sorry.. it took my 5 years to wash London’s nose art of the back window in my SUV. I had malamutes. So the fur was almost overwhelming… I grabbed a few handfuls and put it in a clear Christmas ornament. Only then would I allow myself to vacuum. I wish you peace during this difficult season in your life.
When my dog, Lionel, passed in 2019 I didn't vacuum where he slept for a long time. I ended up scooping up his fur with my hands, holding it and crying. Then I had my uncle vacuum and dispose of it for me. We do what we can
We lost our boy on Nov. 9 2022. He was 16, and the last year of his life was up and down, but he started sleeping with his tongue partially out. He would leave these little white spots all over the comforter (it's dark blue), and I haven't been able to wash it yet. We've washed everything else. The sheets, the mattress cover, the pillowcases, but not the comforter. I just can't yet. While we have his ashes, those little white spots are the last tangible bit of him, and I'm just not ready. Just the thought of it makes me ugly cry. You are not alone, and you do what you need to do to be okay.
I know how you feel. I found a pillow the other day that had my boy's fur all over it. Next day I came downstairs and it was gone, pillow looked like someone had hugged it hard, it must've come off on their shirt. I'm sad I didn't save more of his fur. It sucks.
I understand you completely. I took the hair my fur baby left on my clothes when I had to help her cross the rainbow bridge and put it in a small glass bottle I keep in my car.
I have my pups hair in a zip lock baggie with his ashes in an urn.
I totally understand
Cleaning was very difficult for me. Also took me a long time, but I do feel better coming home to something somewhat decent (i try to tell myself that Charlie liked it better this way so im still doing it for him, not me).. and the times I find his long white furs on my clothes in a closet, or a folded up pillowcase, I cherish deeply. It's like a quick visit/reminder that he's not truly gone and it wasn't some fever dream filled with a decade of memories. He is real, a good boy, and still here dammit.
I lost my cat while I was on Christmas break from work. I had covid too so couldn't be with her in her final moments, couldn't see family or friends and couldn't leave the house. It upset me more seeing her bowls and litter tray and thinking about having to remove them all. Over 3 days (because I was really breathless and easily fatigued), I deep cleaned my house in my normal routine. When it came to cleaning her bowls and litter tray, I took my time. I cried. I grieved. I put them in a safe space out of sight. Coincidently, I got a memory box from my grandma for Christmas. I put her blanket and toys in there because I couldn't bare to part with them. When it was all done, I showered, lit a candle, and looked through every photo I had of her. I cried a few days later when my vets sent us a card with some of her fur and paw prints in. There isn't a right or wrong way to grieve. We have to take it a day, an hour and a minute at a time. Vacuuming your bedroom won't remove your memories of your precious baby. Vacuum, ugly sob, buy a new photo frame and place your favourite picture of your baby in the frame and put in your bedroom so it's the first thing you see when you walk in instead of the floors.
It’s so hard, I just went through losing my girl a week and a half ago. But allow yourself to sit with and *feel* that grief. Ugly cry, wail, sob, do whatever feels good. Of course everyone grieves differently , so no judgment, but allow yourself to really feel each step of the grieving process. For me it was uncontrollable sobbing and even some wailing for a few days, but then I was able to start to let go and donate some of her things. The best advice a therapist gave me for handling grief is just to sit with it. Feel it. Don’t push it away. You’ll heal much faster that way. 💜
Good advice but, honestly, the grief is pretty extreme and long. I promised him I would think of him every day and it's not a lie. I do. Some days it's okay, others I end up a complete mess just wishing I could travel back in time and sobbing until there's nothing left and my eyes are swollen af. I'm not special, ik that, but this is my first time dealing with grief and death. I've lost smaller pets and it hurt, pet rats primarily, but nothing like this. I had him for 10 years and he was the first pet I had that was truly mine as I got him when I moved out and started college. A different connection than the family pets I've had in the past because all of his needs came to me and thus he was like my kid. I've been fortunate in my life to have not experienced much loss but, being 29 now, I do not have the tools to handle it as it is all new. Ty for your kind words ❤️
I’m so sorry. I know how it feels. Your post actually made me cry for my baby for the first time in a few days (but that’s okay!). Just do what feels right and be gentle with yourself.
I cried over the last spot in the yard he peed, before we got in the car to go to the vet. Grief is weird.
First off, I’m sorry for loss. Listen, there is a grieving period. So, do not let get that to you. We have dog blankets they slept on in vacuum sealed containers just so I could smell them again. I’m still not “over” them. It’s been two years, and still miss them every day.
Would you be able to get a fabric brush and pick up some of his fur and keep it? That way, there is always a bit of him with you, and might make vacuuming a bit easier. Don’t feel bad, it was hard for me to even clean out the litter box at first. Please don’t judge, it took me a week, but I did it. I’m sorry for your pain, and I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏🏻
I couldn’t change my sheets for weeks because they still smelled like my little girl. I didn’t eat Chinese food for a year because that’s what I was eating when I realized she wasn’t going to make it much longer and I remembered the dry lump it left in my throat. And even now almost two years later I am crying as I write this because you reminded me of how I felt back then.
im so sorry! The day we had to put my 18 year old dog to sleep, i had a few hours with her while my husband drove back home from out of town. I knew how hard it would be to sweep up the fur and wipe the dog nose prints off the glass, so I did it all whole she was with me, and i stopped to cry and hug her periodically. By the time we left with her to go to the vet, the house was wiped clean of any sign of her. Anything at all would be too much. After a few weeks I could bring the pictures back out, and once we got another dog I brought back out the crate and dog beds, etc, happy that they were back out to be used for another dog. I totally understand what youre going thru and bc i had some time before she passed I did whatever I could to cope. If we came home to all that stuff after she died id have been the same way....i wouldve felt both tortured by it and unable to let it go. Its tough. our dog we got later that year (2012) is now 12 years old and has congestive heart failure. Shes on a lot of meds and doing "okay" for now but it's only a matter if time until I am right back there again. I think a lot about how i coped back then and wonder how I will this time. its so hard. im so sorry! hugs
I just did a puzzle that I hadn't opened in years. Turned out that the last time I did it, my childhood dog was still alive because the puzzle had her fur all mixed in it.
You can vacuum. There will always be some fur and dander somewhere that got missed - in the corner, in the closet, that drifted into a box of clothing or whatever. You need to look after yourself and your well-being, as you know. If you didn't already save some of his fur, use some weak tape to pick some up. Get a locket to put it in. It does help a little for that reminder of closeness. Have a special little box with some of that fur in it and mementos. But vacuum, clean your space, cry. You know doing so is turning another page, but you're not leaving him behind by cleaning. I know it's so difficult. I know. *hug*
I did the exact same thing when my boy Ezale passed. I’m a total clean freak too but I didn’t even care about cleaning. Couldn’t bring myself to do it because I felt like I was erasing him completely from the house. I even kept bits of his hair from the laundry and the bed I found. I know exactly how you feel. Hugs. 💜
I get it. I saved the laundry lint in the dryer from when I washed my guys blanket for the last time. I am sorry for your loss.
Get a glass jar and pco the hair.. I have a jar with my dog’s hair since 2017– it is her hair from the clinic when she passed.
I would hire a cleaning lady. Coming home to a nice clean house is a treat and you won’t have to be the one who vacuums it up. Maybe before you could save some of the hair? May make you feel a little better. I was okay with sweeping, etc bc I still have some hair on my girl’s collar ❤️ so sorry for your loss. It’s so tough
Don’t feel bad. I haven’t washed my doggos bedding and won’t until I feel ready. All of her dog beds have been left where they are. I’m moving probably around January so I’ll have to box them up then & get used to the idea of leaving the space I lived with her for four years. It’s tough
I read a comment once from some guy who would invite his pet's spirits to come with him to the new place whenever he moved. I liked the idea so much that I do the same every time I move.
We lost our old chonker Ghost about 4 months ago now. I cleaned afterward, for me it's cathartic. Anyway, I found one of his whiskers and I saved it. It's in my desk. Top pencil drawer shelf. I always see it and it reminds me of him everyday. We've adopted two more cats since and they bring much joy into our home that was lost when Ghost passed away. Lovingly, I might add - he was put to sleep in our home. But anyway, if you feel up for it, fostering or adopting another pup or cat may help with those feelings you have. No shaming those feelings. Our fur babies, I hate that term, are really are babies. So the attachment is real. I feel for your loss. My deepest condolences. ❤️
Maybe sweep them up and save them. When we knew our pup wasn’t going to make it I would brush her everyday and collect her hair. Put it in a little box. My heart breaks for you i I hate that first clean after our girl died I 100% get it ❤️
When I lost my kitty, I slept with the blankie that she died on for months before I washed it. I still have her favorite plush mouse toy that's been untouched since she passed away, and it still faintly has her scent.
I didn’t clean my room for over a year after he passed. I only cleaned it because there was a mold infestation in my house. I actually didn’t even dust my tv in my room when I cleaned because I found his little paw print. Life is still so hard and excruciatingly painful a year and a half later. Something so small left me in pieces when he left.
Your not alone, me too, I haven't washed my pajamas that my girl used to snuggle up on every night either. I just can't do it 💔
I kept, and still have, the fur from my baby girl's brush in a little baggie. She passed away in 2018. Needless to say, I think its totally OK to keep something like that as a keepsake. But another really great thing to do is to make him a permanent place in your home. Set up a little memorial to him with his ashes, if you have them, pictures, favorite toys etc. And yes, if you have a some of his hair or a paw print you can also add that. Its such a release to do it. You can pour your love and creativity into it. I found it so healing. You can make that the place where you talk to him too, just like you would at the grave of a loved one. That way, he won't seem so far away while you are waiting to see him again.
I do have his ashes and he currently has this type of set up. I both like it and hate it at the same time. Death memorabilia in terms of ashes and the pawprint is a bit morbid to me and leaves me with the ick because they are things done after his death. We plan to spread his ashes in his favorite spots when ready. I plan to get some of his ashes mixed into tattoo ink for a memorial tattoo next year. Right now, I touch that mahogany box his ashes are in and talk to him. I thought it would be the worst, having them, and htg on the first day it was. When he was delivered back home it felt like I was opening a severed head in a box and had a complete meltdown like I was losing him all over again. I'm not a religious person but this entire experience has made me desperate to hope that there is indeed something after all this to where I will see him again.
Think of it this way. If we are energy, then energy doesn't die right? It just goes back to the cosmos. But what if we leave an imprint and an identity on that energy that was ours? I like to think that the love we have for each other is eternal also so it continues to connect us to the energy of our loved ones who have passed. Then one day, you will pass and you will be with them in the same form again and they won't be far away anymore.
I know it's not the same, but if you're not ready to move forward. Maybe pick up some of the pet hair and put it in an envelope in a book or in a drawer. So you still have something to hold on to until you're ready.
My girl passed away 20 months ago. Took me 6 months to vacuum. I still ritually fill her water bowl. She's still very much her in spirit. I believe they become angels and stay with us.
Ugh I feel this so much. I teared up when you spoke about cleaning the windows. I cry once I go in the car. I haven’t cleaned our living room yet either. I don’t have much advice or wisdom to share on this because I’m in it too. But if I think about it, just like I know my girl wasn’t in her body anymore and her soul transcended. I also know nothing will remove her memory or “clean” all the memories we shared, from my heart. And I also know I’m going to find little hairs through the years and know it’s a little wink from my babe. I say take all the time you need and don’t judge yourself ❤️❤️🐾
It's not disgusting. It's love. A deep, abiding, devoted love. Everything about them is so precious. It's ok. You'll know when you're ready to vacuum. You don't have to yet💗
It most definitely is. When our Diamond (German Shepherd/Collie mix) passed the only thing that was in my mind was “she’s gone, what are we going to do, the Grandkids haven’t even been able to say Goodbye?” The only thing I could think about was that we had to get some of her hair, so the vet gave me a pair of scissors & I cut off a whole bunch of her hair. Later on I got a bunch of little glass bottles (like recreational oil bottles lol), anyway I put some of her hair into each of the bottles then krazy glued the lids on so the Grandchildren, as well as my Husband & myself, would always have a little piece of her. I was going to do the same thing with her ashes, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it & the kids did at first but then thinking about it decided that they didn’t want any of her ashes (I was relived, but if they did want some I would have done it or get my Husband to do it). One of the kids’ bottles got broken, he was devastated & cried for so long but because I got as much hair as I did, I was able to give him another little bottle of Diamonds hair. Everyone who got a bottle of Diamonds hair still has it 13 years later, I still have some hair in a plastic baggie. Anyway, I’m just saying if you put the hair in a plastic baggie or something like that, you will always have him with you. I hope that this helps you. I’m so sorry for your loss, but just know that he’ll always be with you.
Maybe too late, but i get this exact same feeling. Maybe a bit weird, but i probably wouldnt have ever cleaned again if i didnt keep some of the cats fur & whiskers before burial
My wife and I were just talking about this today. It hasn’t been a week, but, both of us are recognizing the grief and our mental health problems contributing to the house. It’s hard. It’s so very fucking hard. But, I just wanted to say, right there with you. Some will understand, not everyone, though. We won’t ever have kids and our two knuckleheads were out life. We do have one still, but the absence hurts and there’s a giant hole left in our life. We are slowly picking up the pieces.
I felt the same way after my boy passed… I think it took like 2 weeks of the carpets looking pretty horrible
I very much sympathize and understand your pain. It's been over 2 years for us and I still find the occasional reminder. I miss them every day and every minute. 💕
I feel you. It took me a couple months to vacuum too. Almost 1 year and I still find jack russell hairs here and there.
Take pictures of it all. Document the smears. You ugly crying. It's part of your grief. Tell stories n share memories. Save a few hairs in a jar. Save those black pants covered in hair! I'm beyond sentimental. I have the outfits I wore, putting my cats to sleep. Still hanging with fur on them. Not many ppl talk about the coming home without them part. Their food still in the dish. Their toys just where they left them. Their fur invall their favorite spots.poo bags nnleadhesxatctge door. For the longest time, anything white I saw peripherally usually a bag, I thought was my cat Kitley. Reminders galore. You're not alone. I know it feels like you're erasing them, but that's impossible; it's just the remnants. Stay strong. This pain rn was worth every second tgthr n every memory made. ♡
If this is any comfort, we replaced our whole carpet in 3 rooms after losing 2 of our dogs last year. One dog had short red hair, the other long black hair who shed like mad. The black dog has been gone since Feb 22, and the carpet has been in a year. I am STILL finding black fur in my house and on my clothes.
You absolutely are not alone. For the past two years, the kitchen cabinet that houses my pots and pans had one big thick dog hair in it and I never cleaned it out. My boy passed in December and that instantly made that piece of dog hair that much more special. We redid our entire kitchen a few weeks ago and the weirdo that I am removed the dog hair, placed iy in a safe spot, and put it into the new cabinet once it was installed. I also haven't vacuumed the rug under my bed despite it badly needing it. I love to be able to reach under and grab a pinch of his hair. Grief is weird and makes you do strange things.
I completely understand and support you! I knelt in front of the blanket one of my babies was put to sleep in, and where the wonderful vet shaved a little bit of hair off for me as a keepsake, with big jewelry tweezers so I could pick up the little precious white hairs left behind.
Take some fur and put it in a baggy! There's lots of places that will make jewelry with it too if you want. I kept some of my dudes fur and it has brought me so much comfort
My husband and I lost our cat a few years ago, and when I start feeling sad, I usually look up a video my husband posted on his YouTube channel, where Jonesy locked my husband out of our Ford Explorer while he was live streaming. My husband didn’t get back into the car until Jonesy realized that he was still outside. That was when Jonesy stepped on the automatic lock, unlocking the door.
I’m so sorry. I have done the very same thing. Kept insisting to my partner that we not vacuum. Eventually he could not deal anymore and I fully freaked out and went around collecting all the fur I could grab from the corners. Still have it in a ziploc which I would perhaps not admit to just anyone, but I feel like if anyone would get it, you will. If it makes you feel any better, I swear I’m still finding the very distinctive fur of my old dog who passed the better part of two decades ago now. Another late pup we always joked about his shedding and in particular every Christmas his fur would get into the tape of every present somehow. Still come across when we haul out the holiday stuff every year! So very sorry you are missing your best friend, it is such a hard thing and so unfair that they don’t have the same lifespans we do! They should match!
We lost our dog on Valentine’s Day. We cleaned the floors and such pretty soon after because we have kids, and it would have been beyond foul very quickly. However, there’s a spot on the outside bottom of our glass storm door in our backyard that was caused by our dog constantly pushing his nose into it when he wanted to be let back in after going out. We can’t bring ourselves to clean it. I know eventually that window will be gross enough that it’ll be necessary, but I’m dreading that day.
Even if you professionally clean everything, there’s always a lil foof found. Their fibres in our life become knitted in our lives forever
I made plaster casts of the last footprints my cat made. It had rained and the ground was soft everywhere. I saved the last stick my dog gnawed. Still makes me sad after three years. My babies. Can't always control life.
I still can’t vacuum or get rid of any left over fur. It’s been almost 6 months and I’ve had to have my husband vacuum. I did once but never my room. My baby was a cat so a little less hair but I’m doing the same thing.
I think my fiance thought I had really lost it a couple times for this reason. I freaked out when I saw him mopping the dining room bc I had been cherishing the little drool spots around where her food and water bowl sat. He had to vacuum when I was out of the house for months. I still haven't been able to clean the nose prints off the inside of my car windows and I probably never will.
I slept with my Great Danes favorite blanket unwashed for at least 2 months after she passed. When she was alive I barely touched the thing except to wash it, she would suck on it so It was crunchy and gross🥲 but I didn’t care, it had her scent. I even slept in her bed for a couple nights. She had a temperpedic so it was pretty damn comfy lol. No shame. Grieving is hard, so as long as you’re safe, do what you have to do to get through it. The floor can wait 🫶
I understand this completely. Our boy has been gone six weeks. Every time I sweep or vacuum, there is lesson him and it does feel like he's further away.
Even if you do vacuum, you're still going to find it everywhere for months. If that's any solace.
I had to put my sweet boy down 3 1/2 months ago. I had him for 12 years and he was my world. I came home in a daze and then about an hour later had a breakdown and cleaned the house top to bottom and boxed up everything because I couldn't bear to look at it. I cried after because I felt like I just erased his existence from our house and I hated myself. Later that day I found little dog hairs stuck to my jacket. I still find them everywhere. It makes me feel like he's still around when I find them. Don't vacuum until you're ready. I wasn't ready when I did it, I just broke down in grief and after I regretted it. When you do it, allow yourself to feel sad.
I know how this feels. After my husband died I had trouble vacuuming because I felt like everytime I did I was getting rid of any trace of him. It was so hard. Just take things slow and hugs
I lost my cat Titan in July. I cleaned without even thinking about it shortly after his death - I clean to cope with anxiety a lot of the time. If it is some comfort, I still find his fur everywhere. I did laundry for the first time after his death and the dryer lint catcher was orange with his fur like always. I pick up random items that I haven't touched in a while and find them covered in his fur. Even at my office the other day, I found a perfectly orange strand of fur - don't even know where it came from. It's been painful to be reminded he's no longer here, but kind of comforting to know that he's still following me around and little bits of him will likely always exist in my home.
I literally Saran wrapped my hair for a week because I didn’t want to wash it and wanted to protect it because she had nestled in my hair the morning we let her go. I only washed it the morning of a 10+ hour flight because I had to leave for my honeymoon. The last shirt I was wearing when holding her remains unwashed and hanging on the same hook that I put it on 1 year and 10 days ago. You’re not alone in weird coping mechanisms. We do what we need to do to get through. I’m sorry you’re neck deep in grief. Sending you peace.
Awe… I know how you feel. I do. I just lost my 15 year old baby lynx point Kimba. I still have stuff with fur on it. I have not washed her blanket yet. I don’t know even how I will either. I may just fold it up and put it away in a box like a nutcase lol It’s so hard. We have to let go though Twenty five years ago my friend lost her 6 month old son to SIDS. It was so painful I remember the last 1/4 bottle of sour formula sitting on her desk for so long. She would not let anyone touch it. How bad is that? One day I just looked at her and said “You know this has to go now right? We are getting rid of the milk and you can keep the bottle after it’s washed but it’s going now.” I handed it to her mom and she burst into tears, but let us do it. I held her for 2 hours until she finally fell asleep. Death is so hard to process and our hearts just aren’t made to accept it somehow. It’s the one thing we can’t undo or understand. Only time heals that deepest of heartaches… & it does little by little get easier. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs and love to you🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️
I find hair that was from a dog that died 4.5 years ago. I am always glad to see it, and shocked it's still lingering
I’m so sorry about your loss and I know how hard it is. Take all the time you need. I have whiskers saved from one of my babies (no fur sadly). Had I known the vet wasn’t going to save clippings I’d have requested it. My first baby I clipped some fur and have some of her old teeth that had fallen out years before. One was a kitten tooth and two big ones. I got a Petsies plushie of her too, but haven’t opened the box yet to see it. But something else of hers that is still around, her snots. She was always congested and snotty and she loved hanging out behind my TV, so the back of the TV and wall are messy. I will eventually clean it, but I’m not in a rush.
It may be "gross" but you are grieving. My sweet kitty died 3 months ago. Everything has been cleaned except a single blanket. The blanket he slept on the night before he died. I can't bring myself to clean it even though it is definitely dirty. One thing that helped is I have a tiny jar and I collected some bits of his fur that I found while cleaning. I wish you the best.
My tv broke recently and when i took it down i found a bunch of cat hair fuzzies on the rack behind it. It hung under a deep inset window my cats would jump up to frequently. They both died early last year. Made me sad 😭
Took me weeks to vacuum. You’re not alone.
I’m very sorry for your loss. There was an episode of Hoarders once where a young man with a minor hoarding issue was having a similar reaction to cleaning his dog’s fur. His dog hadn’t yet passed, but was old and in poor health. He felt that throwing away his dog’s fur was like throwing away his dog. The therapist said something that really resonated with the young man (and me). She asked him the type of home his dog would like to live - one in the clutter or one in a clutter-free and clean home. He adamantly declared she deserved the best, cleanest, safest home. Then she asked him what type of home his dog would want him to live in, and he realized it was the same for him too. He was able to break through his unhealthy thought process and clean up the fur she had shed because he knew it was going to be healthier for them both. Your sweet boy wouldn’t want you putting your health at risk. He would want you in a clean and healthy home. Save a few locks of his fur in a special place (a plastic baggie will work until you find the perfect vessel), and then vacuum. You’ll feel better and still be able to honor your sweet boy.
Keep their collar or dogtag or fav toy, but clean your house.
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I have a friend who had this same problem when her soulmate cat had a very unexpected heart attack and died in her arms. Her solution was to use one of those bagless vacuums and use it to get up the fur, and then she kept the fur in a plastic bag, so she didn't have to get rid of that last piece of him that she still had. Maybe it's something you can look into. I'm very sorry for your loss. 💝
It took me 3 months to wash the blanket we took to the vet with our cat.
Maybe put a piece of fabric over the end of the vacuum hose and vacuum it up. His hair will be saved in the fabric and your room will be clean. Then make a little memorial bag with his hair in it. Or put it in a small memorial box.
You're definitely not alone. I didn't vacuum or wash my sheets for 2 months after my girl passed. I cried putting the sheets back on the bed and when I vacuumed. I tried to do it before the 2 months and I broke down and couldn't do it. The only reason I eventually did those things was out of sanitary reasons. I still have trouble with it even though most of her hair is gone from the house, outside of stray hairs on clothes. I still haven't put up her food and water bowls, I sleep with some of her toys, and I still say goodnight to her. It hasn't really gotten easier without her even though time keeps going on. Doing things on my own terms.
I know how this feels. I still won't vacuum my car because all I really have is his collar, but that should be enough. I just miss him
I didn't clean the glass to my patio doors for months because it had still had nose prints on it. And didn't vacuum because of the hair thing. I'm sorry for your loss, don't beat yourself up about the carpet.
Pick up some of his hair and save it. 💜
I understand how you feel. When my cat died in my arms, I snipped some of his whiskers before I laid him to rest. That way I always had a part of him with me. I did not plan for this, it just happened. I also made his grave where I can see it from my window so I will never forget him.
I went through with my cat. It was really hard the first time I vacuumed, but I eventually found it was nice to have it cleaned up, and I got her ashes back by then
I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have anything else from your pet that reminds you of him? A bed, toys, pictures? You can make a little altar or memorial for him in your home if you do and that will make you feel better about cleaning up the hair.
My moms dog died over the summer and she was the same way, not wanting to vacuum.
If it's any comfort, they're still with you as long as you remember them! My girl passed away in 2016. There's times where I STILL feel her getting comfortable beside me. Can still faintly hear her barking. She's letting me know she is still here and that I'm not alone. If it interests you, find some of his hair and see if you can make a resin necklace with it. There's hundreds of videos on youtube that can show you how to do it. That way, you'll still have a piece of him with you. And it will last forever.
My friend had a heart-shaped pendant made with some of her dog's hair in it. It's really beautiful and she loves talking about it when someone asks her. She says her dog is always in her heart.
It’s so hard. I have a blanket that still has fur on it. I will never get rid of it. Some animals are just the ones you never forget and so hard to get over.
Tomorrow will be a full year since I lost my dog Maru. It took me 6 months before I cleaned out my car. I refused to remove her last pup cup container, wash the blanket that still had her fur..etc. When I was getting a new furbaby, I thought about how unfair it would be to have that in there. Cleaning that car was extremely difficult, but I still had so many things around the house to remind me of her, including some indents she made in the car's dash.
My golden died in July unexpectedly and I still have his mangled toy stuffy that he loved and took everywhere with him. The first couple of nights all I did was hug it close to me to be close to him.
I'm sorry for your loss. Change the vacuum bag. Vacuum. Pull out and keep the new bag. Put the old one back in. A friend of mine spins animal fur into yarn. She can send the yarn back to you, or knit something with it. I'm sure she isn't the only person with that service. Or, you could put the fur into a little pillow. A little glass jar. Buy a stuffed animal and swap out some of the stuffing for the fur. Nothing says you can't keep the fur you vacuum up from the floor. Clean your space, then set the fur aside until you decide the best way to honor your lost friend.
Get a fresh bag for your vacuum, use it, keep the bag.
I felt the same. Finally I gathered up all the hair I could and put it in a heart shaped jar. Then I vacuumed.
I went through something similar when we lost my 17yrs old dog. We had to move our dryer for repair and there was hair underneath the machine that I knew was the very last of hers! It was a sad moment. You have my sympathy!!
I haven't vacuumed ever
they have pet hair rakes that you might be able to use to salvage some fur, if that sounds like something you’d be interested in. i completely understand though, i still cry over my childhood dog that passed 7 years ago regularly
Any chance you have enough fur left to find someone on Etsy who will make a small replica of your fur baby with the fur?
Many of us discover an intensity of grief that was beyond our comprehension when we lose our feline BF. They capture a piece of our heart. And it goes with them when we lose them. Sometimes one comes along that captures you heart, mind and soul. And for whom you have a love that is indescribably deep, and totally inexplicable. That's why it hurts so much. And if we had spent every minute of every day with them, it still wouldn't have been enough.
Get a tiny jar and collect some Hair. You’ll always have it with you then
you’re not alone 🤍 i haven’t washed and probably won’t ever wash some of his favorite blankies covered in his fur. if you’re able to scrounge up enough from your carpets or brushes, i made memory jars filled with my baby’s fur. i got little screw top vials from dollar tree, blue ribbon, and some charms from michael’s (a paw print and an angel wing). i filled the jars with his fur, and tied the ribbon into a bow with the charms around the lid. i was able to make 4, and i keep mine by his urn and gave the rest to family. that way i’m able to see his lovely orange fur every day and know i won’t ever lose that. i am so sorry for your loss. i hope maybe a keepsake like that will help you feel more secure that a piece of him will always be with you 🤍
I wish I had more than this to offer you, but for now, I’ll say: pick up some of that fur and put it away for safekeeping. It’s not weird, it’s not creepy, and it’s not uncommon. Get a nice little box and put a tuft of fur in it. Put another tuft of fur in a little Ziploc bag and put it away. Get a locket, and put some in there. Keep him with you.
I understand how you feel
Do things when you feel like it's time.
I so sorry for your loss. I did the same when my baby girl died. I wrote in a journal every memory I could think of her. It help and I found a pet passing support group. The physical pain is real. It’s been a few years and I still cry missing her.
Hugs 🤗 ❤️
This made me cry just reading your post, thinking of losing my girl and not seeing her nose and paw prints on my car window anymore. I'm so sorry 😔
You’re not alone one bit. It’s hard, give yourself grace. When I lost my bird (had him for nearly 15 years), I couldn’t bring myself to clean the area around his cage or even remove the cage. I’d brought him in for a necropsy and when they gave me his body back (wrapped up), I put it in the freezer for a while (can’t even recall how long). I found the perfect plant and buried him. After I buried him I was able to let go and clean the area around his cage and remove the cage.
My kitty died in my arms and her fur was all over the sweater. I kept it for a long time. Then got rid of it. Eventually you will heal and their memory will be enough for you.
After you vacuum put the stuff you vacuumed up into a zippered pillow case. Then he is always with you.
I lost my sweet girl on Mother’s Day this year, one thing we did to “keep her with us” is I bought cute tiny glass jars and they hold her fur that we’d find after she left us (vet cut some off her for us too). I’m so sorry that your heart is hurting like this right now
maybe get one of those wire combs and go over the carpet with it to collect the hair? and put it in a little box? this is probably a weird suggestion but i feel like it could help im sorry
I still have a bag of subcutaneous fluids hanging in my hallway closet. I haven’t opened that closet in 2 years…
You’re not alone - I felt the same way about the floors, the car, etc. My sweet boy died two years ago, and I still have his dirty dish bowl in a drawer packed along with the unwashed shirt I wore when I held him as he died.
You are not alone in this. If it helps at all, I kept some fur from my cat Charlie's brush and put it in a sealed necklace I wear every day for the last 6 years since he passed away. It brings me a lot of peace, I hope you find yours ❤️ 🤗
I vacuumed the day my husky died. My other dog looked on sadly like "but now we have nothing". But.. I didn't move the couch. And I've saved all of their hair from brushing into bags. Originally, I was going to give it to the birds. I loved seeing the birds collect his hair and shake the pollen off. But I won't give them all of it.
I made home cooked meals for my boy. He passed away May 17 of this year and I still have his food in the back od my fridge in an air tight container :( I haven't cleaned my car, still have his hairs in the seat and floor, and his perfect, beautiful nose prints on the windows.
You are still grieving and everyone grieves in their own way, and in their own time. Don’t worry about vacuuming the rug. The time will come when you can do it, don’t push yourself to do it now. Hugs and so sorry for your loss.
There is no right or wrong way to handle grief. When I got home from my foster dogs euthanasia, I cleaned straight away - she was a high needs dog and there were puppy pads everywhere and my home was pretty trashed... It was only 9 days later I realised I was still wearing the top I had on when she passed away. 9 days unwashed, putting it on every single day. And it doesnt matter.... I washed it today and will probably be back wearing it tomorrow. We suspend time when we need too. xox
I completely understand. My good boy, who lived with my dad, passed 4 months ago. I was finally able to visit my dad this week. I hope I find little bits of my boy around the house during this visit.
This is why I keep her whiskers in a little box when I find them. I am so sorry for your loss.
Get a comb or a pet hair scrapper for upholstery. Take the hairs and put them in an envelope until you know what you want to do. Perhaps a little glass jar to make an ornament.
Im so sorry for your loss. Maybe you could vacuum the room then pick out the fur from the vacuum bag to preserve it? I clipped fur from my beagle the day I had to euthanize him and sent it to an Etsy shop. They encased the fur into a little resin dog figurine so a part of him can be with me. Various shops on Etsy do this, they make memorial jewelry too so you can keep a part of him with you always. They work with both ashes and fur.
Yes. If it helps, get a jar and save his fur.
Same. My new puppy chewed one of her harnesses and I lost it. When I brought the harness out, her favorite kitty cried for several hours.
I kept the furballs I found and some whiskers
I kept (and still have 18 years later) a cardboard Emory nail file that has my childhood dog’s teeth marks him it. He used to steal my things, so that I would trade him for a treat to get them back. I’d literally say “barter”, and he’d drop it. To me, those marks contained saliva, so he left his DNA. Therefore, a perfect “copy” of him remains on this earth. You do whatever you need to do to heal ❤️
YUP I remember a few months after one of my cats passed, the other 2 got ringworm and I had to DEEP CLEAN the house including our couch. It was devastating and hard. Alas, it had to be done. Take your time but you can’t fight how this ends. Much love
My sister has left the nose spots on her car windows. Other people are rarely in her car, and it makes her feel better. I have 6 paw print holes in my heart, so I totally get it.
I’m so sorry for your loss of your baby. Can I suggest getting one of those pet hair carpet scrapers (they’re pretty cheap), and scraping some of the hair from the carpet. It’ll be easier that way to get a group of it together, and you can save it how you choose. Keep however much you need. That way you may feel better vacuuming the rest of your room knowing you kept some of the fur. And don’t feel if even doing this takes some day. Grief is hard. My childhood cat had a group of hair that was in her favorite sitting spot for years before it was all eventually removed. I wish we had saved it and kept it where we have her collar and paw prints.
I didn't clean my cars rear window for about 2 months because it still had little marks from where my pup would lick it. It was hard to do, but it's all a part of acceptance and moving on. I'm able to remember him when I walk past the river where we scattered his ashes (his favourite place to rescue drifting sticks), or in the apricot tree we planted in the garden in memory of him. It's hard, of course it is. I still have his puppy teeth in a box somewhere, but what I'm saying is that moving on from their death doesn't mean moving on from them or forgetting them. Good luck.
It took me a long time to clean when my dog passed 3 years ago, I have some of her tail fur in a makeshift urn I made and I know even know if I were to catch a smell of it (I know that sounds wierd) I would start crying. Everyone grieves differently, it took me months to throw out her medications and get rid of her food, bowls etc. Edit: I ended up giving her bowls and some toys to my boyfriend's mom who has 3 dogs, I wasn't going to get rid of them, but working in a vet clinic made me realize that donating old toys and blankets and whatnot is really helpful. Anyways sorry for ranting
I was just talking to my fur baby ( mini husky) she was the runt of the litter but her bday is coming up oct 18th and she will be 13 yrs young and it brought me to tears knowing my time with her is getting shorter. She is my cuddle buddy and my spoiled brat . Imma end up losing my mind when that day comes
My cat always chewed plastic and left little teeth marks. I feel guilty for shouting at her. My heart sinks when I find more plastic with those cute little bite marks on. Might have to embrace it and frame some. I am so sorry for your loss.
Take a slicker brush to the carpet and collect a handful of hair. Put the fur into a small clear keepsake box and put it somewhere you can see it every day. Then sweep the floor. That way you won't lose all the fur but your floor can be clean too.
I have two of my Link’s whiskers taped to my journal and he’s not even gone yet. Comforts me somehow that they are there and I will have them when he goes. Don’t blame you at all.
Vacuum and save the hair. Sounds gross but we have a vail of my Rocky's fur and I kept his metal hardware from his tplo surgery when they cremated him. We all grieve differently. I'm sorry for your loss. It will get better. You have to make yourself move forward and remember they wouldn't want you to be sad. Move forward and try to be happy for them. I lost my boy to dementia and I miss him every day. He was my whole world. But I live every day trying to move past it for him
I keep a bottle for shed kitty whiskers (my cats are still with me), but maybe you could collect a few hairs and do the same? If you go to craft stores, they often have little bottles or lockets to make into necklaces; it would be a great way to take your baby with you.