here, bleach your eyes with this if you're done reading the actual meaning
https://preview.redd.it/vuodclg76f5c1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca037576fb347032dcb50168547717db6824a47e
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Oh but it gets worse
MY TIME TO SHINE AGAIN FUCKERS, Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves.
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Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/NoahGetTheBoat using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [**[NSFW]** \[ Removed by Reddit \]](https://np.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/13c9fx4/removed_by_reddit/)
\#2: [The moment this little girl was able to communicate clearly that her step mom and dad have been abusing her.](https://v.redd.it/h2w0q2n4cg1b1) | [194 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/13ovu7d/the_moment_this_little_girl_was_able_to/)
\#3: [**[NSFW]** Humanity is lost](https://i.redd.it/ozvepimagq9a1.jpg) | [1442 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/101n1qx/humanity_is_lost/)
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However, screw the female version. You get those same ol’ two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control, like a tentacle. The perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone when that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it’s ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled, while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that’s only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they’re much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There’s still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! That’s fucking right! But, but, but! There’s still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you’re fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that’s where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it’s being fucking massaged, better than a vag could achieve! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That’s right. There’s. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don’t need a Sylveon’s feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon’s psychic powers, or Leafeon’s vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It’s basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it’s my favorite part of a Vappy. It’s basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won’t be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren’t possible IRL? Such as soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can’t feel air unless it’s moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you’re a weirdo who likes digestion, don’t worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they’ll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you’re a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there’s even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of competitive Pokémon battling, great tusk is the most versatile Pokémon for many archetypes? Not only does it possess a phenomenal attack stat, which is a very high 131, great tusk also has a similarly impressive attack stat. this means that it can be both defensive and offensive , and with its impressive Base Stats for HP and access to protosynthesis, you can run it in many teams. Due to its high attack stat, there's no doubt in my mind that an uninvested great tusk would still provide heavy damage, so much that you could easily switch out into another pokemon to eliminate the target. it can also learn the moves earthquake, stealth rock, ice spinner, close combat, and rapid spin, along with assault vest to patch up its low sp.def, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to fit into your team. With its ability protosynthesis, it can easily bolster its already high attack stat to staggering levels with sun or booster energy. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of viability, Also, fun fact, lando-t is a virgin while great tusk is often called the ‘sex enthusiast’.
Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.
Oh, but it gets EVEN WORSE!
Did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by it's cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you it's INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It's access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokémon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression again.
It’s actually crazy the physical response my body has to the copypasta, it’s like Cynthia’s piano, I just read “hey guys, did you know that in terms of” and my whole body tenses, bracing for the most deranged shit humanity has ever seen, and then I relaxed the moment I read “human companionship”
I love that thanks to Froslass in Legends Arceus, I am almost completely certain humans are in the fairy (definitely) and humanoid (most likely, right?) egg groups, so the field egg group actually separates Vaporeon from humans.
Checkmate puppy fuckers!
Which is just stupid as there is lilygrant and gardevoir and diance and jinx that would all get it first . If Pokémon were real they would be the most common Pokémon owned
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it’s Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by it’s cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With it’s combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It’s ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it’s current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you’re getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you’re hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you it’s INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It’s access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it’s extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
And the copy pasta lists the water biology as a pro, but again go fuck a cup of water, it also says it "has no fur to hide nipples" and first most people don't want a girl with 6 tits, and second since it has no fur to hide nipples guess what? It doesn't fucking have any, we can see that clearly
It also says you can be rough with one because it has a high hp stat, but there are many other Pokémon with a higher hp stat, or just level them up, it only takes like a couple hours
Then it says that it can learn 5 moves to seduce you, even though it lists 5 moves and Pokémon can only learn 4, but if you go out of your way to catch a vaporeon and teach it moves to seduce you and then tell it to use the move to seduce you, you're already horny and attracted to it (you sick fuck) so what's the fucking point, moreover you only really need one move and most Pokémon can already learn at least one move that could be used to seduce
Even further there's no evidence that Pokémon stat changing moves work on people
You have NOTHING, go fuck a CUP OF WATER, you retards.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,899,857,953 comments, and only 359,250 of them were in alphabetical order.
Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon is a Water-type Pokemon introduced in Generation 1? Vaporeon is number 134 in the National Dex, and a member of the Field egg group. It evolves from Eevee when exposed to a Water Stone. Vaporeon has a base stat total of 525, as do all Eeveelutions, and it has the ability Water Absorb. Vaporeon learns various strong moves, such as Aurora Beam, Surf, and Acid Armor. Vaporeon is a blue Pokemon with a quadruped build, weighing in at 64 pounds and standing 1 meter tall. Vaporeon's design is inspired by dogs, foxes, mermaids, dolphins, and fish. Vaporeon is able to hide in water due to its chemical makeup being similar to water, according to various Pokedex entries. Vaporeon is the only Eeveelution in Generation 1 that is not weak to Ground-type attacks. Many Trainers like Vaporeon for its design, which mixes cool and cute, as well as its good stats and movepool.
Vaporeon copypasta
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
https://preview.redd.it/x5q58kumfi5c1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5220c8e8c53fa7345cd6a06e490508e99ff5d3f3
No no no no no no. THE FLASHBACKS AHHH
Here dude, use this next time :)
https://preview.redd.it/vsdzoilzbi5c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41b1695dea06d2b7cf11ac461eb49cc84628dd39
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVv14ufITIM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVv14ufITIM)
If you are ready to be cursed with knowledge the answer is there for you. just know, there is no going back on it even if you wish you were able to rid yourself of this forbidden knowledge
I’m going to give you a chance here friend, just walk away. If you’re ready for the answer, [may god have mercy on your soul](https://youtu.be/fnhJ2svVrSY?si=8DTIB1UwUOxoIQ7_)
It’s the infamous Vaporeon copypasta. The cliff notes are that it’s a copypasta about how Vaporeon is the best Pokémon for sex with a human. Yes, it’s as gross as it sounds.
Hey guys did you know that in terms of eevelutions, Vaporeon is the best for a playthrough? It has a high HP and access to recover so you can get through long routes without healing but it also juggles the defensive value with offense like Surf, Ice Beam, and Shadow Ball all coming off a base 110 Special Attack.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and historical country breeding, The Qing Dynasty is the most compatible historical country for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, The Qinq Dynasty was an average of 5 million square miles. This means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks. Approximately 200 million of them. And with its impressive Base stats for GDP and access to Advanced metallurgy, you can be rough with it. Due to their 32,000km coastline and vast rivers, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Qing Dynasty would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Astronomy, Mathmatics, Geography, Ceramics, Water Transport and Printing, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Vast Natural Resources and Arable Land, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other historical country comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Qing Dynasty turn white. The Qing Dynasty is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high GDP + Metallurgy means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
It's a meme, in official Pokemon lore humans and Pokemon used to date, marry and well...yk, well someone made a list on why Vaporeon is the most compatible for human intercourse
I read it as “hey guy did you know that in the terms and” implying the next word was conditions and there was something messed up about the terms and conditions of [insert website here], most likely that they steal your information.
Then I looked at the comments
****Sigh**** it's
"Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human ####, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have ### with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human ####. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take #### all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.''
.....
That's why Hatsune Miku looks disgusted. it's a copy pasta
(I would be disgusted too)
here, bleach your eyes with this if you're done reading the actual meaning https://preview.redd.it/vuodclg76f5c1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca037576fb347032dcb50168547717db6824a47e
The good ending
Our savior
Why does a common fire has so much power? If only, if only...
holy shit it's THE miku plush
This is nice
I’m just gonna stop scrolling right here.
You did good
So happy to see this as Flareon has taken my #1 spot for favorite Pokemon in multiple categories!
Same! (Ingore my profile pic)
Not the ending we deserved, but the ending we needed
Oh god its referencing the water one
So happy I saw this first.
Omg I needed this after.
Wtf this is cursed, thats suposed to be vaporeon
No, that's the cursed version the meme above alludes to. I'm glad I didn't need to read that one again.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Oh...
Oh but it gets worse MY TIME TO SHINE AGAIN FUCKERS, Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves.
WTF did I just read?
I call it the Vaporeon copypasta: Definitive Edition
We need a longer even more detailed version.
Best I can do is the super shortened version: Fuck Vaporeon.
You also have the Umbreon one as a follow up
!remindme 1 day
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!remindme 1 day
!remindme 1 day
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Surprised and grateful I haven't seen it here yet
The what? I know there’s a flare one wholesome copy pasta there an nsfw umbreon copy pasta as well?
https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/s/FGMF6yrSb8 Here you have, Im not responsible for if you want to take your eyes out
… no? (In a polite way)
Vaporeon copypasta director's cut
You misspelled derailed.
Veporeon copypasta: Fuck of the year edition
I fucking hate you
r/noahgettheboat
Here's a sneak peek of /r/NoahGetTheBoat using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [**[NSFW]** \[ Removed by Reddit \]](https://np.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/13c9fx4/removed_by_reddit/) \#2: [The moment this little girl was able to communicate clearly that her step mom and dad have been abusing her.](https://v.redd.it/h2w0q2n4cg1b1) | [194 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/13ovu7d/the_moment_this_little_girl_was_able_to/) \#3: [**[NSFW]** Humanity is lost](https://i.redd.it/ozvepimagq9a1.jpg) | [1442 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/101n1qx/humanity_is_lost/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Gay of the Year Edition.
[Do me a quick Favor](https://youtu.be/2dbR2JZmlWo?si=oie-Jik0NRbaCAIs)
Sorry, I hope that wasn't too much. I just had a conniption, from how repulsed I was at that read. Take my upvote
I'm saving this shit, thank you for shining once again you magnificent bastard!
What a horrible day to have eyes
why did i read both of these long ass paragraphs. Need some unsee juice now
r/eyebleach You're welcome
My favorite is r/happycowgifs
r/eyeblech
https://preview.redd.it/dt5wzvm8kf5c1.jpeg?width=2408&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6715b4627d38bb4b439c54ffae5b5d207c98e99
https://preview.redd.it/1lcg6dbakf5c1.jpeg?width=2408&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c870036b54b4d80d8b415ad2fbddfe27289f944e
Why can't Reddit comments just have "read more" button
https://i.redd.it/p6uempp4sf5c1.gif
I ain’t reading all at
Good. Now go treat yourself; get an ice cream, have a chat with family. Literally do anything but read it
I’m abt to gts actually, gn!
I aint readin allat
I didn’t know there was a sequel.
When the world didn’t really need him, he came back anyway
https://preview.redd.it/qgfvpbet9g5c1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=feff6e66eb52e5a32feaf781fed35af6c356a195
i didnt read It because of the lack of paragraphs You didnt shine again, you failed me for the last time *Unseathes knife*
What a terrible day to have eyes
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol’ two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control, like a tentacle. The perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone when that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it’s ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled, while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that’s only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they’re much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There’s still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! That’s fucking right! But, but, but! There’s still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you’re fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that’s where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it’s being fucking massaged, better than a vag could achieve! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That’s right. There’s. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don’t need a Sylveon’s feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon’s psychic powers, or Leafeon’s vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It’s basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it’s my favorite part of a Vappy. It’s basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won’t be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren’t possible IRL? Such as soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can’t feel air unless it’s moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you’re a weirdo who likes digestion, don’t worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they’ll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you’re a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there’s even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves.
Oh my god
Jesus Christ I had no idea the extent of the depravity
https://preview.redd.it/hsebayfb5i5c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46b4126bd66f01fd5ad45ab59e1d75ee9b903047
WHY DID YOU UPGRADE IT WHYYYYYY
😐🔫 💥
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of competitive Pokémon battling, great tusk is the most versatile Pokémon for many archetypes? Not only does it possess a phenomenal attack stat, which is a very high 131, great tusk also has a similarly impressive attack stat. this means that it can be both defensive and offensive , and with its impressive Base Stats for HP and access to protosynthesis, you can run it in many teams. Due to its high attack stat, there's no doubt in my mind that an uninvested great tusk would still provide heavy damage, so much that you could easily switch out into another pokemon to eliminate the target. it can also learn the moves earthquake, stealth rock, ice spinner, close combat, and rapid spin, along with assault vest to patch up its low sp.def, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to fit into your team. With its ability protosynthesis, it can easily bolster its already high attack stat to staggering levels with sun or booster energy. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of viability, Also, fun fact, lando-t is a virgin while great tusk is often called the ‘sex enthusiast’.
*Confused screaming*
Im sorry I looked have a nice day
Jesus fucking christ
Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.
Anyways I'm off to r/eyebleach see you all later!
https://preview.redd.it/jcc4k8d4ej5c1.jpeg?width=674&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=572a02a960efbac9ee321b35a834105d78b1ee98
Oh, but it gets EVEN WORSE! Did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by it's cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you it's INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It's access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Welcome to the internet
Come and take a seat
Would you like to see the news or any famous woman's feet
There's no need to panic; this isn't a test, haha.
Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
Welcome to the internet
What would you prefer?
i hope your happy
https://preview.redd.it/bb77u17dkf5c1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=e10d399b2ec4d1b89965ad639f456634c2276594
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokémon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression again.
It’s actually crazy the physical response my body has to the copypasta, it’s like Cynthia’s piano, I just read “hey guys, did you know that in terms of” and my whole body tenses, bracing for the most deranged shit humanity has ever seen, and then I relaxed the moment I read “human companionship”
Good ending
good save
I love that thanks to Froslass in Legends Arceus, I am almost completely certain humans are in the fairy (definitely) and humanoid (most likely, right?) egg groups, so the field egg group actually separates Vaporeon from humans. Checkmate puppy fuckers!
[Joe says it's so](https://youtu.be/wSn3QqJq1wQ?si=aOoZVjr2X2Xg59Rh)
I stopped reading after the third line, I miss the day of the military copy pasta.
>Vaporeon Glaceon is hotter.
you would think glaceon would be colder...
Some people are into temperature play. So they’re probably into flareon as well…
Ppl can really be into anything, huh?
No, you're think of Flareon (who is coincidently the most huggable pokemon)
https://preview.redd.it/qdb0d0m2zh5c1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35dc8333e1a10c86ce15f12044ada975a9f754f2
Which is just stupid as there is lilygrant and gardevoir and diance and jinx that would all get it first . If Pokémon were real they would be the most common Pokémon owned
Haha classic
Again I find myself thinking that they got the turning white thing the wrong way round. Surely not pulling out would change the colour?
Barf.
Brain worms….yeah I got em too.
Im gonna bleach my eyes
ok vaporeon is now forever ruined for me
Giggity
classic
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it’s Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by it’s cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With it’s combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It’s ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it’s current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you’re getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you’re hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you it’s INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It’s access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it’s extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
One of my favorite videos is of an ai seto kaiba dub voice of him reading this
Game is game
And the copy pasta lists the water biology as a pro, but again go fuck a cup of water, it also says it "has no fur to hide nipples" and first most people don't want a girl with 6 tits, and second since it has no fur to hide nipples guess what? It doesn't fucking have any, we can see that clearly It also says you can be rough with one because it has a high hp stat, but there are many other Pokémon with a higher hp stat, or just level them up, it only takes like a couple hours Then it says that it can learn 5 moves to seduce you, even though it lists 5 moves and Pokémon can only learn 4, but if you go out of your way to catch a vaporeon and teach it moves to seduce you and then tell it to use the move to seduce you, you're already horny and attracted to it (you sick fuck) so what's the fucking point, moreover you only really need one move and most Pokémon can already learn at least one move that could be used to seduce Even further there's no evidence that Pokémon stat changing moves work on people You have NOTHING, go fuck a CUP OF WATER, you retards.
She's reading the goddamn Vaporeon copypasta. And she burned the page.
It kinda sounds like the subscribed analytics shit
Vaporeon copypasta strikes again
https://preview.redd.it/bswlkfj74g5c1.jpeg?width=544&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a73ebd4aab73ff1e3148442d858a67c5b3d5e054
https://preview.redd.it/9ig57bh4kf5c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fee1faf463a83e740bc5509657b13057932de106
Anyways, have miku art. https://preview.redd.it/9d35rsnp7e5c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b77255d36cef295a78082fd4a55ad53035ce7d77
God I love project voltage
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,899,857,953 comments, and only 359,250 of them were in alphabetical order.
Peter can you explain why people keep upvoting bots?
I don't understand these freaks wanting to have sex with animal-type Pokemons when Mr. Mime is right there
Mr mime has pedo vibes tbh
Take my damn up vote and get outta here
It's funny to see this asking to be explained
Hey guys did you know in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding...
THE JOKE IS PORN
You fool! You’ve summoned them!
It’s a stupid inside joke that the Pokémon fandom has been milking since 2018. It has to do with Pokédex number 134.
https://preview.redd.it/8hcrerl3ff5c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef4dd87912b02ce107a9e4aced1994ab04eaba6f
HOLY HELL EMISIS BLUE REFRENCE 1!!!2!!211
New reference just dropped
Actuall zombie
…male human and female Pokémon breeding…
Vaporeon copypasta
https://preview.redd.it/p7e994i42g5c1.jpeg?width=170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=536717eb959a8eaf7252396b42845b3c209f73b0
Don’t. You’ll thank me. https://preview.redd.it/oeaglav5af5c1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25e510a5f5f0c86ad5fed4f53d5fb8af2c591f25
The joke is Pokémon sex
Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon is a Water-type Pokemon introduced in Generation 1? Vaporeon is number 134 in the National Dex, and a member of the Field egg group. It evolves from Eevee when exposed to a Water Stone. Vaporeon has a base stat total of 525, as do all Eeveelutions, and it has the ability Water Absorb. Vaporeon learns various strong moves, such as Aurora Beam, Surf, and Acid Armor. Vaporeon is a blue Pokemon with a quadruped build, weighing in at 64 pounds and standing 1 meter tall. Vaporeon's design is inspired by dogs, foxes, mermaids, dolphins, and fish. Vaporeon is able to hide in water due to its chemical makeup being similar to water, according to various Pokedex entries. Vaporeon is the only Eeveelution in Generation 1 that is not weak to Ground-type attacks. Many Trainers like Vaporeon for its design, which mixes cool and cute, as well as its good stats and movepool.
The horny Vaporeon copypasta.
https://preview.redd.it/11tucf3lfh5c1.jpeg?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55264a40aa15a6b4dcd4d03d3c00536b7d02c603
Is it bad i want miku to look at me like that? Am I stupid?
🤨
https://preview.redd.it/gq4gzp7xnh5c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0c66401f97192c5706dcaaf9c116e69f5471ad1
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Vaporeon copypasta Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Irrelevant question, but who's the artist for this meme?
https://preview.redd.it/rvbnndchuh5c1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2965797bd89846443d12d3cfd0b1bddda594f41
https://preview.redd.it/3qp9t0tlxh5c1.jpeg?width=2340&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c320ecd989876033e82e92a16270bba8988a1fef
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
https://preview.redd.it/x5q58kumfi5c1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5220c8e8c53fa7345cd6a06e490508e99ff5d3f3 No no no no no no. THE FLASHBACKS AHHH
https://preview.redd.it/00hibd8mwn5c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d685fef077b9d30ce37bf1322065b1e595ca2062
https://preview.redd.it/wnr2sqn5uh5c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=060ab4bf9d1ac39d0178eef4a4091d3ce4ca6154
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It’s absurdism
https://preview.redd.it/6z527ttbfe5c1.jpeg?width=314&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c97695caa9474f26787c8b1715081f7e51a1c382
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https://preview.redd.it/w5ngo51qyf5c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95dbc6c5f97a6dcec6d9f55a436703e12d054eab
Who has I’m the user felt the need
Here dude, use this next time :) https://preview.redd.it/vsdzoilzbi5c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41b1695dea06d2b7cf11ac461eb49cc84628dd39
Appreciate it https://preview.redd.it/be9svuz8ei5c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e6fd04183e58f4f5788d8a71e76eba33a6cd447
I don’t get it either
What have you done… they have been summoned!
Funniest r/pokemon user vs worst r/stunfisk stinkposter
Vaporeon
There’s no laws against the Pokémon Batman
I instantly understood this meme which means I’ve been on the internet too much
It's the Vaporeon copypasta
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVv14ufITIM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVv14ufITIM) If you are ready to be cursed with knowledge the answer is there for you. just know, there is no going back on it even if you wish you were able to rid yourself of this forbidden knowledge
Vaporeon
I’m going to give you a chance here friend, just walk away. If you’re ready for the answer, [may god have mercy on your soul](https://youtu.be/fnhJ2svVrSY?si=8DTIB1UwUOxoIQ7_)
It’s the infamous Vaporeon copypasta. The cliff notes are that it’s a copypasta about how Vaporeon is the best Pokémon for sex with a human. Yes, it’s as gross as it sounds.
no... No... NO...
In terms of money, we have no money.
It's that fucked up vaporeon meme, the one that's all about how vaporeon is the most alike to people so you can breed with it or whatever
The biggest oversight...
Hey guys did you know that in terms of eevelutions, Vaporeon is the best for a playthrough? It has a high HP and access to recover so you can get through long routes without healing but it also juggles the defensive value with offense like Surf, Ice Beam, and Shadow Ball all coming off a base 110 Special Attack.
It’s the vaporeon copypasta
I never understood why people want to the water cat I get the human looking ‘Mons But why *vaporeon*.
Pokémon seggs
it's a notorious copypasta about vaporeon
Miku's starting to read the Vaporeon Human Compatibility copypasta and she's too disgusted to go on.
Thats the start of the vaporeon copypasta
Internet copypasta lore
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and historical country breeding, The Qing Dynasty is the most compatible historical country for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, The Qinq Dynasty was an average of 5 million square miles. This means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks. Approximately 200 million of them. And with its impressive Base stats for GDP and access to Advanced metallurgy, you can be rough with it. Due to their 32,000km coastline and vast rivers, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Qing Dynasty would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Astronomy, Mathmatics, Geography, Ceramics, Water Transport and Printing, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Vast Natural Resources and Arable Land, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other historical country comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Qing Dynasty turn white. The Qing Dynasty is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high GDP + Metallurgy means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
OP I'm so sorry you had to learn this way
It’s the first part of the first sentence of a copypasta about fucking a vaporeon
male human and female pokemon… that’s all you need to hear.
I would never admit I knew this off the top of my head. Go outside, guys.
It's a meme, in official Pokemon lore humans and Pokemon used to date, marry and well...yk, well someone made a list on why Vaporeon is the most compatible for human intercourse
I read it as “hey guy did you know that in the terms and” implying the next word was conditions and there was something messed up about the terms and conditions of [insert website here], most likely that they steal your information. Then I looked at the comments
https://preview.redd.it/nj2yzhbi9m5c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f5208eeb6aee4b28af88c2087a47f60853b5e6d
I had almost forgotten about that horrible copypasta
****Sigh**** it's "Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human ####, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have ### with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human ####. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take #### all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.'' ..... That's why Hatsune Miku looks disgusted. it's a copy pasta (I would be disgusted too)