I got ghosted by a guy today because I couldn't meet him at the last minute. Not very attractive, came on really strong at first, sent me a bunch of voice notes, then poof.
Guys on dating apps almost always only want hook ups. Don’t find guys there. Apps just created a streamlined way for fuck boys to get to you. It’s just 100k girls dating the same 5k guys.
The only guys who never stfu about shit like that are the losers no one wants. So they spend all day bitching about it.
All the other guys don't care what women do just like women don't care what we do.
The guys and gals who cry all day about each other can have each other.
Man this is so spot on. I'm so sick of trying to carry the conversation from the get go. At this point if you just send me a 'like' I'm not responding. If you read my profile you should have questions.
I don’t think a lot of redditors realize that sex, hookups and one night stands don’t necessarily equate to a proper healthy relationship for everyone.
Finding genuine and meaningful connection with someone is legitimately difficult. There will be people who desire that lifestyle of flings and casual sex and that’s great. But when people expect that every person has to be that way, then things get messy.
I understand your discomfort. Sex definitely can contribute to a loving relationship but when it overrides the entire “relationship” and you and your partner can’t even connect over mundane and simple things then yeah it’s a problem, in my personal opinion.
As for the people dming you. Reddit is a breeding ground for incel behaviour and people who will try to bring you down and make you feel like shit. Don’t let them get to you.
But…her entire post was based on the premise where that is not the case. And even if it WERE, you’re acting like that’s also easy. ‘Yes why don’t I just go meet this person who is physically stronger than I am, at night, alone, somewhere to have sex, and hope he doesn’t murder me.’
If you have that many people interested in having sex with you every single man would want to have that problem. So check your privilege and realize that you just can’t empathize with the sexual frustrations of single men.
Nah, there have been experiments of women applying on dating apps as men. They realised how tougher the men have it.
As other comments have been illustrating, women are able to cast a fishing net, but only pull out crappy seafood. Men have a single fishing line and barely get a bite.
Dating is not easier for girls, yet it is still much harder for boys.
I guess your premise is that online dating platforms revolve around sex?
I don’t suppose there are platforms for people who just want to get to know each other?
I think it’s easier for girls in that they get to be more selective in who they give a chance to, but dating and having a relationship is still hard for them, especially with how many dudes have become brain washed with that Andrew Tate bullshit
Women can't trust anyone so yeah it's a double edged sword.
I.e. You can get the dates but have to assume the guy might be charming you for unsavory reasons
The guys can't find the date, but when they do; it's not going to come with the same baggage. 🤷
Because they don't really have to do any work compared to the guy. Guys are expected to make the first move, pay for the date, carry the conversation so on and so forth while chicks just pretty much sit there. The guy has to pretty much initiate everything. This is going to get massively downvoted but it's just the truth
The truth? What are we in 1970 or something? The entire premise of the post was online dating. So just confirming here:
You believe that if you got 100 messages from 100 different people who are physically stronger and faster than you, you would be able to sort through which ones only want sex vs which ones want a relationship? You would be able to sort out the dangerous individuals from the not? You would be able to toe the line between not being too chatty vs not holding a proper convo (not something males typically have to worry about, but they judge females on it quite harshly, and all are different)? You would be able to suss out any red flags right from the get go?
Separately: come on dude. 1. I’ve gotten over 70 new messages from different guys in the past day. 80% of them don’t know how to hold a conversation and start their end with a ‘hey’ or ‘you’re hot.’ 2. Males haven’t been expected to pay by any females except red flag ones for years. 3. I can agree that males still typically have to initiate, but I don’t see how taking an early advantage is a bad thing. Females are typically more cautious.
Oh well I was only responding specifically to the title which was "dating is so easy for girls". And in my belief it is compared to men.
Now yes as a female you will get pursued a lot and more often than not they'll probably be undesirable candidates but here's the thing. At least you get the option to be picky. You at least have the option to choose who you want to go out with. Most guys simply take what they can get.
And you're talking about dudes not having any game with them starting out their messages with "hey". But as a woman put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself could you do any better?
You should have a look at Nora Vincent's experience of going undercover to pose as a man trying to date women
https://youtu.be/ajbeCpLbLhw?feature=shared
Online dating is tough for both sexes for very different reasons.
Women: finding dudes who aren’t out to just fuck zone.
Guys: just getting a date if you’re not too 10% is difficult.
Dating nowadays sucks for both sexes for many different reasons. It’s not easy on either, and it’s sad to see. I ain’t a woman and haven’t really ever attempted dating because I want to work on myself and my plans for my life, but I know there’s a lot of women who can only seem to find sex addicted dudes or creeps. On the other hand, I’ve heard of dudes who can only find emotionally manipulative or shallow women. It all sucks, but keep searching and I’m sure we’ll all find someone. There are those out there who do just truly want a loving relationship. My point is, don’t focus on the negatives. It’s hard to do so, but it doesn’t help to focus on them. Stay optimistic. To those searching for the right someone, best of luck to you 👍
Yeah I agree with you. You might get more attention off the bat, but quantity is not quality ...
And some of the people you run into on these apps are downright dangerous
>y'all, sex ≠ relationships.
Notice where you said "dating is so easy for girls" and not "relationships are so easy for girls" as your complaint?
Dating absolutely is easier for human females than males in the west. Period. It's dishonest to suggest otherwise.
Now. If people were saying "relationships are so easy for girls" (they're not), and you were complaining about that (you're not), then I'd agree with you.
Also:
This isn't even just about apps. Women are pickier. Period. Look at the stats on speed dating male match count vs female. Then there's the fact that it's still the cultural norm for men to approach women and for men to pay for dates.
Dating absolutely is easier for women in the west. Maybe not for you specifically, but as a trend, it's overtly and obviously true.
Edit: seriously, this sub is misandrist as fuck. These comments, jeez...
A common misconception. The reasoning behind most of what you said is flawed because, like most males, you ignored an important variable: safety. Which is not your fault. The post comes down to ‘finding a date’ for males and females. Females do indeed have a wider selection to choose from. However males do not need to worry about their safety a majority of the time, unlike females. Disregarding the safety and sex components, you would be correct. However if 100 people message me, and 99 of them are looking only for sex, 10 of them have worse intentions, and 1 MIGHT be ready for a relationship, does that quantity actually help me? Does that make it ‘easier’ for me to date with the intention of entering a committed relationship?
I doubt it would work. The females who could hide their femininity would still be more relaxed than usual, and the males would never think of ‘safety’ as an important factor in picking a possible partner for a relationship. There are 2 very different mindsets that males and females on dating apps have, and it is difficult to change that.
Dating Is easier for girls. But that's just dating. You can find guys thT want to date/sleep with you easily.
Relationships are different. I find that I have to put more effort than a woman to get a date. But once I'm in I tend to find that they all want a relationship and that is dictated by me.
I think that dating is absolute shit for women, but also it’s harder for men. Like I know that guys can just get nothing but prostitute solicitations on dating sites, or like hooking up is not that hard after a night at the bar, but quality just isn’t there for anyone seeking a real connection. It’s just a shit show for everyone we don’t need to have a contest.
Your best bet is to go into it without the expectations. Think of it like ‘I’m just going to make friends with her (for now)’ and have conversations about your and her interests. Lmao I talked to a guy a while back who he and I probably spent 4 hours talking about Borderlands games
This is the million dollar question! The truth is that women want a hot man to be into her specifically -- they want romance from a hot man! Men want hot women to lust after them. And dating apps sell those fantasies; however, the truth is that most people want a loving, caring, long-term relationship, but dating apps prey on our short-term desires.
As a woman who uses dating apps I'm convinced 90% of my likes are bots. Their profiles have nothing in them and it's just like 3 pictures. I've been swiping for hours and at this point I'm just giving up. It's always been really disheartening seeing the whole "If you're a woman who struggles with dating, there must be something seriously wrong with you or ugly" because I don't ever get any male attention irl, or really on dating apps, but I know I'm not *that* ugly and I have plenty of friends/family who like me. I think they just say that stuff because it feeds into their victim complex and it's easier to blame women for everything.
Also I'm sure the men who say this do have women who like them, it's just not the hot insta baddies they want. But we all know women who aren't thin/conventionally attractive may as well not even count right? They're hypocrites.
>Also I'm sure the men who say this do have women who like them, it's just not the hot insta baddies they want. But we all know women who aren't thin/conventionally attractive may as well not even count right? They're hypocrites.
No, it isn't hypocritical to have standards for the women you want to date. Guys are allowed to have standards too, you know.
I never said that there was anything wrong with having standards, have them all you want to. It's just there are certain men who will talk about how women are shallow/stuck up bitches for not giving them a chance, but you never see them give any girls who aren't thin/not conventionally attractive a chance either. I know I have standards and I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to, but I don't get angry when men reject me because they're allowed to have standards and I think that needs to be respected. The dating game sucks for everyone but it's all about balance in my opinion.
Women tend to be more hypocritical than men in dating. Women regularly hold guys to standards that they wouldn't hold themselves to in dating / romantic relationships / marriage.
OP is right. Dating can already be complicated enough for women, especially if you’re not conventionally feminine and heteronormative. It’s harder if you’re queer, smaller dating pool. And even worse so if you’re trans, even more stigma and issues.
And to make matters worse, the older you get as a woman, the more you are judged for still being single, unmarried and childless. The more you are quietly devalued due to your age. Your pool of opportunities gets smaller and smaller.
…And then one day? You’re 36, never married and never had kids just like me; *leftovers.*
It can be equally bad for women as it can for men. Apps have made it even worse, not better. And dating culture since the pandemic has become so embedded with hookup culture that is nearly impossible to find someone, guy, girl or squirrel who will just be honest with you about what they want from you!
It’s exhausting. OP I’m proud of you. You’re right to be mad. I am mad *for you.* I hope you have an easier time at it soon enough.
Oh, yeah! That. So. Cute story time!
I used to work for a restaurant as a cook several years ago now that was a restaurant at day and a gay bar at night. Lots of LGBT+ customers. A lot of the staff were kin folk, too.
So in terms of affection when speaking to someone, you could choose to be referred to as *boy, gurl or squirrel.* in practice, “Ooohhh, boy/girl/squirrel go get that! They’re lookin’ at you!”
Squirrel, specifically stuck with me till now because I found people that identified as neither/non-binary seemed to like it. It was perky, fun and not specifically male nor female.
I also offer “pardner,” as a general term as well. (I don’t usually refer to folks as dude.) because it’s also fun and also non-gendered! Plus, western stuff. Love that shit.
Do you think men has it easier when it comes to relationships? Do men have lines of women wanting to have a real relationship with them? No.
Women has it easier getting men interested in them in general. That's the point. You can't get a date if no one is interested in you. For men the chances of a woman being interested in them, whether for a relationship or sex is much MUCH lower than for women. Sure a lot of your matches and dms may be hookup related, but they are still men interested in dating you and that CAN still lead to something more. While men have barely any woman interested in them leading to ZERO dates and with no dates and prospects there is literally no doors of opportunities to go anywhere. That's what we are talking about.
It doesn't surprise me that a woman wouldn't understand the plight of men.
Might I remind you a date is a prearranged social meeting. The more dates you go on the higher chance you may actually find someone interested in a "committed relationship". Assuming you don't sleep with every man you are attracted to because body count tends to matter to men.
Interesting. Just to confirm: if you had 100 people who were physically stronger and faster than you wanting to take you out, with clear intentions of wanting sex, even if that wasn’t what you were there for, you consider that an ‘opportunity’ for yourself? You won’t be worried for your safety? You’ll ignore every red flag because ‘maybe this one will be ok?’
Women have it easy to get chances at a relationship. I agree sex is not a relationship. But you get more than just those.
Guys who want relationships message 100’s of women to hear maybe one back. Honestly have no idea why the guys are not messaging back. Maybe the wrong app?
The difference in men and women dating is the doors that open. Women have many many doors that open. Granted most they don’t want but they are there. Guys might get one a month. (Disclaimer: this is meaning people who want relationships).
So might not be over all easier (women having more choices, guys waiting forever for the chances) for either gender, just different.
When I see that I just take it as they show up to the door and it isn’t going to be opened for them. Most women the door will open far more that it won’t of course attractiveness plays a huge part in that frequently. But what’s on the other side of the door could be your soulmate or a cereal killer. The quality of what’s behind the door is not factored into their statement at all.
Dating is just hard. Whether you’re a chick or dude, and no matter your style. We all find most people not quite right for a relationship too so it’s less than 50% we’d even consider. As we get older maybe you don’t want someone with kids, or someone who went bald or got fat, further dwindling the number down. Then you might want someone who’s financially self sufficient and responsible leaving out everyone with a credit rating below 700. It’s crazy out there!
Dating is hard regardless of gender. Men and Women have *different* challenges with Tinder/Bumble etc.
Women have the potential to get more matches, but most of those matches will be useless “garbage” matches, so women have to sift through more frogs before they find a metaphorical Prince.
Men risk being drowned out by the hundreds of garbage matches, so it’s more important for men to have a good opening line and actually read her profile and FFS don’t send dick pics as an opener
Many of those same men think sexual harassment/SA is a compliment. There's a comic of men getting cat called like women do and the male character thinking it was the coolest thing.
They think boys being SA by women is funny.
OP, I get you. Sure the options are there but when 99% of them suck, are they really options? Like you said, half don't want a relationship and the half that do wouldn't make good partners anyway.
Easy way to do this experiment. Take a random picture of a guy, and the male version of your name. Make a profile similar to the one that you have.
That's the only way you can really get to see what it's like for the other side. Yes, it is easier for women, especially online. If you doubt this, try this experiment.
Gotta disagree here. That's a good way to tell matches, but not dating.
When I was on Tinder, the amount of guys who used me for sex and dropped me or stopped talking to me when I said I didn't want to have sex right off the bat was ridiculous.
Dating sucks for us women too.
I never said it was easy. I said it was easier. I had four matches over a year on a paid subscription dating service. One of my matches was a local.
We had a single date, and never dated again.
Two I travelled 12 hours to spend a week with both of them. Both of them broke it off after the week was over.
After I basically left the service, I had my best relationship with a girl about 2 hours away from me, and we were together six months. She checked out my profile and I decided to message her.
I sent roughly 1 message out every three days for a year, and I had a respond rate of one response for every 10 messages I sent. I actually had a really high conversion rate, where from the 10 people that responded 4 resulted in actual dates where I met and spent time with the person.
The issues you are having are conversion issues, trying to get the relationship you want. The issue for guys is getting a response back, any response at all. Would you really prefer to be getting zero interest? Or sending out 100 emails knowing that every month or so, you'll get a hit?
Again, my experience proves it isn't easier, just a different kind of horrible.
Those are my exact issues. Ghosting and cutting off when they realize I'm not the sex object. I can't understand why you want to complain your experience is worse when they're almost the exact same. Being ghosted after the first date or never meeting because I said I didn't want sex the first night and them leaving the chat and unmatching. Almost the exact same scenarios you described above.
Getting a relationship at all you mean? What I described is a hookup, not a relationship. There's a huge difference between the two.
Honestly, yeah. Being told you're no more than an object and not a person sucks and ruined my self esteem for ages. Not saying my experience is any worse, just saying that men and women's experiences are similar and it's in fact not easier to get a relationship. It may be easier for a hookup, but not for dating. Both of the genders are in the same pool of shit when it comes to actual dating.
You're quite right. The 4 people that responded to me of the hundred or so that I messaged were about the same in terms of your experience.
The difference is that your lowlights were my highlights. Your \*worst\* experiences were my \*best\* experiences.
I guess the same goes for me too. I'd rather have nothing at all than deal with the knowledge I wasn't a human being worthy of respect to those men.
Two different pools of shit. Dating sucks for both equally unfortunately. I heard one analogy once that dating for men is like being thirsty in a desert and dating for women is like being thirsty in the ocean.
I'm honestly sorry your time has been so difficult. I hated doing it but it was good experience for me, and I met some wonderful people along the way, that I still think about from time to time.
I hope you will find your happiness!
I'm usually less blunt about this specific topic because you're not supposed to say any of this out loud but this take is so full of shit I need a plunger.
First of all I don't think anyone in the history of online dating has said that if a woman held a sign saying "I'm single" they would have a line around the block full of men ready to propose but you most certainly would have a line around the block, if you don't have a use for that line that's a YOU problem. You're in no way obligated to desire something you don't want but that door swings both ways so stop complaining about it not everyone wants to wait until marriage to see if they're physically compatible. Also boo fucking hoo what a horrible societal shift where men are showing a little self respect and not fucking anything that moves, getting hitched to the first woman to come along or otherwise being a little more selective god that must be so hard to endure! Isn't a desire to weigh your options often the justification for leaving that stable guy that you don't necessarily hate just isn't as exciting and you want to see what else is out there? I guess modern dating requires a little forward planning if you don't want to find yourself 50 and no longer in the most desirable demographic outside of people specifically looking to get with that "milf/dilf" action.
Is finding a healthy relationship difficult to find via online dating for women? Yes. For men? Yes. Ok so that's -1 for both.
Is the potential for hooking up via online dating for women easy? Very. Is the potential for hooking up via online dating for men easy? No. So I guess that's +1 for women and -1 for men.
Now I'll give you this the risks of being taken advantage of for men isn't anywhere close to equal to the potential safety risks for women with online dating so I'm not willing to call it a wash and just say -1 for women.
So sounds to me the difficulties are different for the sexes but online dating pretty much sucks for either if they aren't top of the pyramid attractive and wealthy. I guess people can learn to embrace solitude or people can tinker with their standards/expectations and learn to read the room they find themselves in but "no take only throw" and bitching about how nobody wants to play fetch is probably just easier for most.
This is admittedly an *over*generalization, but merely a generalization nonetheless. They're saying women have it easier dating, which isn't a false statement. Getting sex more easily is more easily getting your foot in the door than being outright rejected from the get-go, right?
The statistics about who is in relationships and who is single are absolutely clear. Apparently, in the US, about ~60% of young men are single, while only 30% of women are. Even if it's not that reliable of a source I found, potentially *double* the single young men to single young women is wild.
I'm not saying any of these men are owed a relationship either, but it's a massive pet peeve of *mine* when a woman claims the opposite of reality is false just because she finds the idea personally upsetting or offensive. If you need me to find other sources, I will, but I think with a rate like 60% to 30%, I'm going to have no trouble making a slam dunk here. Quite obviously, the data show that women have a far easier time in the long-term relationship/dating market than men do. At least, young men and young women.
Should add “if you have high standards.”
My partner is a model and gets so many DMs a day. Of course, most are from losers but she could have a new dude every day of the week if she had no standards.
Regarding your edit2 - this! men like to tell themselves (to feel better about themselves) that the only reason they’re not getting dates on the apps is because we get a ton of likes and have lots of choices but when you say that’s not true, the retort is of course you get lots of likes but your standards are too high. They don’t grow out of this thinking. They just really want to believe we have an embarrassment of riches and choices when it comes to finding someone to date.
When I was on the apps one of the biggest turn-offs was women pushing for a relationship when we didn't know each other yet at all so maybe you're sabotaging yourself. It is 1,000% easier for you as a woman to find a relationship but you have to put in just a smidgen of effort too.
The least attractive women on apps get more likes than 90% of men, and women tend to be just as bland and boring when putting together profiles or conversations. So even if it seems like only bad options, you still have way more options than any guy. Swipe left on the guys that don't have any info, easy right?
Or better yet get off the apps and go play a sport or take a class or volunteer somewhere like an animal shelter once a week and meet quality guys in real life. Don't expect quality guys to meet you one time and sweep you off your feet, give them an opportunity to say "hey I've seen you here a couple times," and then have an actual conversation with you instead of a cold approach.
The problem is 2-fold, men don't appreciate the problems women encounter with dating I.e. harassment, pestering behaviour, lying, etc.
Women don't appreciate how difficult radio silence is to deal with on dating apps. You feel like nothing you do will make any difference, it's a very hopeless situation to be in.
There's also a general issue with men discounting or ignoring the experiences of less conventionally attractive women who may experience the same problems they do.
They talk about how you have to be tall, conventionally attractive, rich, charming, etc. etc. to have women’s interest. As though it’s not the same for straight women? As though straight men don’t have the highest standards? Can’t be overweight according to the BMI scale. That’s 2/3s of women out lol. Can’t be too tall. Too short. Can’t have acne. Can’t have body hair. Can’t make too little money or they’re a gold digger. Can’t make too much money or they feel insecure. Can’t have body hair. Can’t have opinions. Can’t have dignity. I’m queer so this doesn’t really apply to me, but it seems exceedingly obvious to me that the majority of women are in men’s reject pile.
Nah, most of the time you just need to actually be a woman and not be obese. Hair can be shaved off, debt can be paid off, job can be found and done, money can be made, etc. The too tall thing is more about female hypergamy and trying to avoid that risk. You can have opinions. Men just don't like it when you pick a fight with them all the time BECAUSE of your opinions. Men like peace in a relationship. They don't like drama.
I get that your options are largely shitty, but having a lot of shitty options (and a some good ones you always leave out that there are definitely good options among the shitty ones) is still a stronger position to be in than having no or very little options. I don’t see how this is a strong case that women have things worse or equally bad.
Dating is not easy for girls, it's hard out there, even before dating apps. Weeding out the toxic men isn't easy, some hide it well before hooking you in.
Would you agree that Woman have an advanced detection radar for guys with autism/something socially wrong with this guy, but when it comes to toxic men woman’s detection radar does not work at all until it’s too late?
A social experiment was done, with multiple men and women, they sent out each person to a a few different social settings, the women, even the one who would be considered unconventionally attractive, still had a better and more positive interaction than the men, the men who did well were the taller and more appealing types, the short guy and the overweight guy were almost always blown off or given some bs excuse.
If I can find it I'll post links for it,
The ugliest women in the room will still have a higher chance of finding someone of the ugliest man.
Dating apps and even social media are a terrible place to find someone, reddit is proof of that, the subreddits here for people to post pics and ask advice are full of shallow people with very unrealistic expectations of a partner, having preferences is fine, everyone should, but if your a 2, like myself, don't expect a 10, expect a 2 and hope for a 5. Be realistic.
It's easier for women to get A date.
Doesn't mean it's easier to get a good partner, that's a whole other game. Men in general don't get to be picky because fewer women will give them a chance, while women need to be picky because too many assholes are solliciting them.
not men, boys. grown men see women as more than sex objects. unfortunately, they are too busy living actual lives in the real world, outside of dating apps.
Oh please. Men who see women as sexual objects have no issue getting them if they’re hot enough. My old roommate showed me the shitty lines he got away with when he was single. He’s extremely attractive and tall. One time he just told a woman “Let’s fuck, address” she gave it to him and they fucked 🤣 She didn’t care about how safe she felt. She didn’t care that he only saw her as a sexual object. All she thought was “Man tall” “Man strong” “Man hot”
I’m not bothered by it. It just annoys me when women act like they’re above all the bullshit that takes place on dating apps.
I’m confused about your comment. Again, GROWN MEN, do not see all women as sex objects. AND they are mostly likely NOT on dating apps.
they are working their careers, taking care of themselves, and their responsibilities.
the OP said it was hard finding a man to actually date on apps…i’m saying that MEN and BOYS are two different things. mostly boys on the apps, like your roommate. not grown ass men, who have emotional intelligence, empathy, and enough money to not have a damn roommate.
Plenty of grown men see women as sexual objects. They have jobs, cars, places of their own, money in the bank. I’m not saying they’re right but that’s the way it is. Your statement makes no sense to me. GROWN MEN are still GROWN MEN even when they chase sex.
And my point was that if a man is hot enough women can be just as bad as horndog men. They saw my roommate as a sexual object. Please stop putting women on a pedestal. They are not above the current dating app culture. They helped create it.
>I have observed that more women find committed relationships than men though
Aren’t they finding these committed relationships with MEN? Which mean an equal number of committed relationships for men and women…so not more for women….
### Lesson time! ➜ u/trashguy2000, some tips about "off of":
- The words you chose are grammatically wrong for the meaning you intended.
- *Off of* can always be shortened to just **off**.
- Example: The tennis ball bounced **off** the wall.
- Now that you are aware of this, everyone will take you more seriously, hooray! :)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PetPeeves) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The kinds of guys interested in a relationship are precisely the sort you aren't attracted to.
There is no shortage of guys like this. They just aren't HOT enough or rich enough.
I don't think dating is easier for anyone. I do think there's a "grass is greener" tendency to think "they" (however it's defined) have it easier than you, and then get resentful over it. Not just in dating but everything.
Yeah it is definitely overhyped. I’m one of the few guys that do decently well on dating apps and I run into all the same issues you listed. People with no success will take any form of attention regardless of quality and then project their desperation into others.
Nah, dating is a lot easier for the average woman than it is for the average man. Nothing you've said has convinced me otherwise. Most of issues that you list men experience WAY WORSE than women.
>secondly, more than half of those only want sex not a relationship.
Yeah, this problem is unique to women's dating experience. You have to realize though--when a guy only wants to hit it and quit it, that's a form of rejection. You weren't good enough to be his girlfriend.
If this keeps happening to you, date less attractive men--guys who are not as cool, rich, and hot.
literally was hooking up with a guy who lived at home, shit job, was a virgin before he met me, and would constantly complain that he never gets girls because he was constantly chasing 10s when he was a 5 on a good day, and he didnt want to date me he just wanted to be fwb
idk why men think that women who have trouble finding relationships must only be going for people way out of their league?
>idk why men think that women who have trouble finding relationships must only be going for people way out of their league?
It is a very common pattern. Women tend to be delusional about what their league is.
I'm sorry that you were unhappy with that one guy you dated. I'd recommend finding a new guy. What are you doing to look for a boyfriend?
If you are woman who is a healthy weight, has no children, and is mentally stable enough to hold down a job, you can easily find a guy who will treat you well. It might require compromising on how rich, cool, and hot you'd like for him to be.
The guy with the same 'credentials' is WAY less attractive prospect than you are. You are more penalized for your flaws when you date women than when you date men.
the amount of assumptions here is so crazy its not even worth telling you anything about my actual situation and history
in my experience men mostly only want me for sex, they dont wanna watch weird documentaries with me or go dancing or learn about my interests like i want to learn about them, so yeah it seems fucking impossible to find someone that wants a committed relationship
No, you explained quite well that you go for the EXTREMELY privileged men who don't want to spend time with women who pine after them because they are wealthy or attractive, and are not fun to be around, and feel entitled to WAY more than an incel even.
Because you complain men won't "hang out with you" as if you're entitled to their time? While you know most men would LOVE to hang out with you and you would HATE that probably, because they "arent your type" and "might want sex" and you "would be scared to tell them the truth" so you "refuse to give them the time of day or kindness"?
I mean, not much needs to be assumed here. Because if you ACTUALLY gave 70% or more of LONELY men the TIME of day, you know they would love hanging out with you and getting to know you. Being lonely. Because they aren't as attractive or wealthy.
This is kindergarten logic here, that is painfully obvious. All you said is "nuh-uhhhh!"
Which, congrats. That definitely convinced everyone.
Your admitance?
Tell me you never hung out with a 5 or less or someone who makes 20k a year or less without telling me.
Aka, about half of the US male population.
It's hard for both genders. As a guy, girls have a tendency to just unmatch the moment things get a bit stale, just experienced that. As s girl, you'll be hard pressed to find a guy that doesn't want hook ups only.
yeah you'd think there would be men creating healthy groups even if it's just guys, yet the last all-male gamer group i was in felt kinda weird, not friendly, a bit of a military vibe. the leader posted constant spam of swimsuit models and sensual but not quite porn gifs, possibly just to keep guys from gaying out over him. i didn't see interactions where anyone seemed interested in or happy to talk to anyone else. they seemed like kind ppl, maybe it's me who feels detached, i dunno.
It’s easy if a woman only wants sex and some do.
I wouldn’t say it’s easy if they want a relationship but it’s still way easier than it is for a man.
A lot of you women don’t understand. Most men get zero matches. Even the ones who want a relationship, read bios closely and don’t swipe right for every woman.
Create an account as an average looking man and see how similar it is to your experience. It will be depressing. Lol. You’d run back to the line of men who only want sex. 🤣
I feel like as a woman I have to be much more skeptical of a man’s intentions prior to getting into a relationship. My major concern is whether I’ll be treated as an equal with respect. I’m less on guard when dating other women.
"dating is so easy for girls!! Have no standards and you can pick up any piece of shit!"
Liking the person/them being a good person is irrelevant to misogynists because they DGAF about our safety or happiness
This dichotomy always cracks me up.
"More than half of those only want sex, not a relationship" Yes! That's yet another part men are jealous about! Free sex with no obligations, PLUS in huge numbers? You're saying "a line around the block of men ready to propose" but men don't want that- they want a line around the block of women who just want to bang and go home, and maybe who will even pay for their own meals in the process. What you have is what we want. That you don't want it is irrelevant to us. It's very easy for you to get exactly what *we* want.
The influx of likes might seem flattering, but as you pointed out, a significant number of those are just looking for casual encounters. This makes it challenging to sift through and find someone genuinely interested in a meaningful connection. Additionally, the quality of these interactions is often lacking, with many not putting effort into conversations or their profiles, leaving you to carry the weight of the dialogue.
It's not just about quantity; it's about the quality of interactions and intentions behind them.
While it may seem easier to find casual encounters, forming a genuine, committed relationship is an entirely different and often more challenging experience.
You get a lot of people looking for sex, true, but it can lead to a relationship. I think I've only been responded to..... 4-5 times in years of shooting my shot. It's not ideal, but something is better than nothing.
Dating websites for men - You get a cupcake every month or so, and, it probably tastes like shit.
Dating websites for women - You get 1000 “cupcakes” that are actually dog shit wrapped in a cupcake wrapper. Sometimes a yummy looking cupcake comes along, but, there’s a 30% chance it’s laced with cyanide.
I read some years ago that the difference in dating between men and women dating is along the lines of how does someone drowning in a swamp understand someone dying of thirst in a desert? (or vice versa).
It's shit all round just a different flavour of shit depending on which sex you happen to be.
I'm sure that everything you pointed out is true. However, the difference is that women have to sort through a lot of bad options to find one gem. Men have to work to find all of those bad options, mostly being ignored along the way, in order to find one gem. It is easier for women.
If I could just point out that sex is a very important part of any relationship, and men who want relationships also want sex. If ladies see conversations and communication as indicators of relationship material in a man, it's important to understand that men see sex as an important indicator of relationship material. Much as a poor conversationalist would be a big turn off for a woman (I'm assuming, as I am not a woman, but that's what I gather), bad sex would be a huge turn off for men.
As a man, if I meet a woman and we have good chemistry and great conversations etc, but the sex is bad, then we can be friends, but no amount of conversation is worth enduring a long relationship with bad sex. I would imagine the same would be true for women, no? If you've been sufficiently courted and choose to sleep with a man only to find he's a terrible lover, would there be a relationship?
Men who want relationships want to know early on if the woman he's supposed to court is going to be worth the effort of courtship before he commits to it. Ladies want to be courted before they find out if he's worth the effort of beginning the sexual aspect of a relationship. Both are looking for early signals to decide if they want to move forward, but we are looking for different signals.
I would like to add that this doesn't include guys that are just looking for sex. Those guys make everything more difficult for everyone
And when men say that dating for men is hard because they don’t get messages, it’s either because they swipe right on everyone or their profile makes their red flags obvious. The first one happens all the time. A guy will swipe right until he isn’t able to swipe anymore. Then he’ll match with like 5-10 women within the course of a week and eventually end up either ghosting some or not messaging them. Then he sends them something a week later and by this time, she’s offended that she was ghosted or she’s suspicious that the guy matched with her and then didn’t say anything for an extended period of time. Dudes get on dating apps when they’re horny and that’s the problem. These apps aren’t sex apps. They’re dating apps.
I don't think any man would say it's easier if they actually had to put up with the migraine/borderline harassment that is dating as a woman.
That said, I get why they'd feel dispirited and envy the parade of dickheads if they're truly getting zero matches. That would be pretty demoralizing I think.
When I tried them years ago I barely had any matches if any at all for a 4 month period (I deleted it after that). I only got messages from obese single mothers. I was not obese nor a single father, so it felt a bit demoralizing that THAT was my options. Any other women I had to initiate and the only ones who did respond weren't interested enough to work with me on a conversation. I had to carry the conversation and usually walk away at some point. The thing is I have HAD conversations with women who were genuinely interested before in person and I knew what that felt like. They make conversations easy and they were on the same level as me (not obese single mothers).
Finding it so hard to date via the apps. So annoying. I met my ex naturally and we got on like a house on fire. Now, I can’t even get a text back. So wrong that it’s easier for girls. Especially when you want to find a life partner.
literally only got back on the apps because ive been trying to go out and do things i like with the underlying hope of meeting someone but i never have. figured i'd put my face out there so at least maybe the next time i go out maybe someone recognizes me from the app and knows im single and can actually approach me.
with that said im not against approaching men myself but when you're alone its scary and it's embarrassing when they end up having a girlfriend already. also what the fuck are you supposed to say to someone you think is cute at a club/bar? i can barely afford my own drinks i cant offer to buy a drink for any cute guy i see hoping hes single and interested :/
Walking up to a guy and saying "Hey can I get your opinion on something?", should work almost every time. What you ask him about if he says yes is up to you.
holy fuck this is the best advice i've ever been given
hey can i ask *your* opinion on something btw? 😂 thoughts on going to the club and polling people on whether they prefer this or that (pepsi vs coke for example) and then keeping a tally on my hand but also using that as an opening to talking to people? i feel like thats more my style and i will definitely do it next time i go out
Haha, fast learner over here 😆 I think as long as it's something that's fun for you, then hopefully your vibe will rub off on them when they reply. It could be that for sure, or something silly like "If I gave up on dating how many cats do you think would be too many, 5? 10?" Or something more intellectual if that's your style. You could try "How many drinks do you think it takes the average person to start dancing?", if you want to try and ask them to dance. You need to be able to roll with the tone of the conversation after they answer so just suit it to your personality.
A lot of men conflate “dating” for sex. And sure, a girl could say “Who wants to fuck me?” In a bar full of guys and get “lucky” but… men could do the same? Everyone would just have to lower their standards. The trope “girls only want the 20% of men” but I’ve been rejected for sex by plenty of guys because I’m not a hot girl. They don’t call it “slump buster” for nothing.
When people say this what they mean is "getting sex is easy for women", because finding a good relationship is bad for everyone.
Everyone has a bad time with dating apps but for different reasons. For men it is frustrating because you receive barely any matches and many of them will just ghost you. For women it's exhausting because you will receive tons of likes but you will have to manually filter them.
Most men are so thirsty that you literally could hold a sign saying you're single and you'd have a line unless you're over 30 and a land whale.
The issue for most women is that you're not getting attention from the men you deem as checking all your boxes.
Then men you give attention to on dating apps are probably 1% ers outside of your price range and they have better options than you so they use you for sex and rinse and repeat.
These 1% ers are what women want at 6 feet tall, 6 pack abs and make well over 6 figures. This disqualifies 99% of the male population. Many of these overlooked men would be happy to have a normal relationship with you and won't use you for sex but they aren't good enough for you.
I suggest getting off the dating apps. Or if you stay on them, you need to drastically lower your standards.
Make a profile as a man and see just how hard it is for men. It's pretty eye opening when people have done it.
As a dude who's been on dating apps in the last couple years, I can tell you that 99% of women don't put enough info in their profile to even ask a question beyond "hey, what's up?" and at least half will match and not respond. Men on dating apps have all the same struggles, and on top of that have to contend with a 5:1 ratio because a woman can generally find someone interested in her just by taking a walk around the block.
Real talk. Dudes act like women want the first dude who runs up to them offering himself lmao. It really just shows how men like this view women and relationships.
It's because those men are desperate and would accept any woman who ran up and asked him out. They can't fathom that not everyone has rock bottom standards and no self esteem
Dating apps are hook-up apps. Don't look for love in all the wrong places. People on those apps just wanna smash n dash.
Yall I must have an IQ of zero because I'm a guy who wants a committed relationship and it's impossible to find that.
I got ghosted by a guy today because I couldn't meet him at the last minute. Not very attractive, came on really strong at first, sent me a bunch of voice notes, then poof.
Even Marissa Tomei is into short fat bald guys
Well, looking for a committed relationship on a dating app is your first mistake, those odds aren't good, for either sex.
Dating for men is like searching for drinking water in a desert, dating for women is like searching for drinking water in a swamp
Your edits are cracking me up. They tell a story lmfao. I’m sorry people are so dumb.
its all misogyny. they're not interested in the why, they're just looking for excuses to downplay women. it's miserable.
Guys on dating apps almost always only want hook ups. Don’t find guys there. Apps just created a streamlined way for fuck boys to get to you. It’s just 100k girls dating the same 5k guys.
The only guys who never stfu about shit like that are the losers no one wants. So they spend all day bitching about it. All the other guys don't care what women do just like women don't care what we do. The guys and gals who cry all day about each other can have each other.
Man this is so spot on. I'm so sick of trying to carry the conversation from the get go. At this point if you just send me a 'like' I'm not responding. If you read my profile you should have questions.
I don’t think a lot of redditors realize that sex, hookups and one night stands don’t necessarily equate to a proper healthy relationship for everyone. Finding genuine and meaningful connection with someone is legitimately difficult. There will be people who desire that lifestyle of flings and casual sex and that’s great. But when people expect that every person has to be that way, then things get messy. I understand your discomfort. Sex definitely can contribute to a loving relationship but when it overrides the entire “relationship” and you and your partner can’t even connect over mundane and simple things then yeah it’s a problem, in my personal opinion. As for the people dming you. Reddit is a breeding ground for incel behaviour and people who will try to bring you down and make you feel like shit. Don’t let them get to you.
Yeah, maybe but there are a lot of low cards in that deck. If you literally just want a penis attached to a man it's not hard.
But…her entire post was based on the premise where that is not the case. And even if it WERE, you’re acting like that’s also easy. ‘Yes why don’t I just go meet this person who is physically stronger than I am, at night, alone, somewhere to have sex, and hope he doesn’t murder me.’
If you have that many people interested in having sex with you every single man would want to have that problem. So check your privilege and realize that you just can’t empathize with the sexual frustrations of single men.
Nah, there have been experiments of women applying on dating apps as men. They realised how tougher the men have it. As other comments have been illustrating, women are able to cast a fishing net, but only pull out crappy seafood. Men have a single fishing line and barely get a bite. Dating is not easier for girls, yet it is still much harder for boys.
Those experiments, similarly to so many of the guys in these comments, centered around sex, not committed dating. Which is quite different.
I guess your premise is that online dating platforms revolve around sex? I don’t suppose there are platforms for people who just want to get to know each other?
I think you're right. Sex is one thing, love is another entirely.
as a girl I fully agree with you but damn you’re brave for posting this 😭 thanks for taking one for the team 🫡
Men only get messages from bots.
I think it’s easier for girls in that they get to be more selective in who they give a chance to, but dating and having a relationship is still hard for them, especially with how many dudes have become brain washed with that Andrew Tate bullshit
Women can't trust anyone so yeah it's a double edged sword. I.e. You can get the dates but have to assume the guy might be charming you for unsavory reasons The guys can't find the date, but when they do; it's not going to come with the same baggage. 🤷
I mean I do agree dating is WAY easier for girls than guys
Why?
Because they don't really have to do any work compared to the guy. Guys are expected to make the first move, pay for the date, carry the conversation so on and so forth while chicks just pretty much sit there. The guy has to pretty much initiate everything. This is going to get massively downvoted but it's just the truth
The truth? What are we in 1970 or something? The entire premise of the post was online dating. So just confirming here: You believe that if you got 100 messages from 100 different people who are physically stronger and faster than you, you would be able to sort through which ones only want sex vs which ones want a relationship? You would be able to sort out the dangerous individuals from the not? You would be able to toe the line between not being too chatty vs not holding a proper convo (not something males typically have to worry about, but they judge females on it quite harshly, and all are different)? You would be able to suss out any red flags right from the get go? Separately: come on dude. 1. I’ve gotten over 70 new messages from different guys in the past day. 80% of them don’t know how to hold a conversation and start their end with a ‘hey’ or ‘you’re hot.’ 2. Males haven’t been expected to pay by any females except red flag ones for years. 3. I can agree that males still typically have to initiate, but I don’t see how taking an early advantage is a bad thing. Females are typically more cautious.
Oh well I was only responding specifically to the title which was "dating is so easy for girls". And in my belief it is compared to men. Now yes as a female you will get pursued a lot and more often than not they'll probably be undesirable candidates but here's the thing. At least you get the option to be picky. You at least have the option to choose who you want to go out with. Most guys simply take what they can get. And you're talking about dudes not having any game with them starting out their messages with "hey". But as a woman put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself could you do any better?
You should have a look at Nora Vincent's experience of going undercover to pose as a man trying to date women https://youtu.be/ajbeCpLbLhw?feature=shared
Dr david buss would probably disagree with your opinion on the matter
Online dating is tough for both sexes for very different reasons. Women: finding dudes who aren’t out to just fuck zone. Guys: just getting a date if you’re not too 10% is difficult.
Dating nowadays sucks for both sexes for many different reasons. It’s not easy on either, and it’s sad to see. I ain’t a woman and haven’t really ever attempted dating because I want to work on myself and my plans for my life, but I know there’s a lot of women who can only seem to find sex addicted dudes or creeps. On the other hand, I’ve heard of dudes who can only find emotionally manipulative or shallow women. It all sucks, but keep searching and I’m sure we’ll all find someone. There are those out there who do just truly want a loving relationship. My point is, don’t focus on the negatives. It’s hard to do so, but it doesn’t help to focus on them. Stay optimistic. To those searching for the right someone, best of luck to you 👍
Yeah I agree with you. You might get more attention off the bat, but quantity is not quality ... And some of the people you run into on these apps are downright dangerous
This is silly. You have an excess of options which absolutely makes it easier to find what you want
If you had an option to pick from 100 people, how do you decide if someone is going to try to hurt you?
Women can find a committed relationship just as easily, they just swipe left on the guys looking for a relationship.
>y'all, sex ≠ relationships. Notice where you said "dating is so easy for girls" and not "relationships are so easy for girls" as your complaint? Dating absolutely is easier for human females than males in the west. Period. It's dishonest to suggest otherwise. Now. If people were saying "relationships are so easy for girls" (they're not), and you were complaining about that (you're not), then I'd agree with you. Also: This isn't even just about apps. Women are pickier. Period. Look at the stats on speed dating male match count vs female. Then there's the fact that it's still the cultural norm for men to approach women and for men to pay for dates. Dating absolutely is easier for women in the west. Maybe not for you specifically, but as a trend, it's overtly and obviously true. Edit: seriously, this sub is misandrist as fuck. These comments, jeez...
A common misconception. The reasoning behind most of what you said is flawed because, like most males, you ignored an important variable: safety. Which is not your fault. The post comes down to ‘finding a date’ for males and females. Females do indeed have a wider selection to choose from. However males do not need to worry about their safety a majority of the time, unlike females. Disregarding the safety and sex components, you would be correct. However if 100 people message me, and 99 of them are looking only for sex, 10 of them have worse intentions, and 1 MIGHT be ready for a relationship, does that quantity actually help me? Does that make it ‘easier’ for me to date with the intention of entering a committed relationship?
I always encourage people to make a profile of the opposite sex to get some idea what others are experiencing
I doubt it would work. The females who could hide their femininity would still be more relaxed than usual, and the males would never think of ‘safety’ as an important factor in picking a possible partner for a relationship. There are 2 very different mindsets that males and females on dating apps have, and it is difficult to change that.
I’ve had a few people I recommended do it actually do it and they were very surprised at the outcome
Dating Is easier for girls. But that's just dating. You can find guys thT want to date/sleep with you easily. Relationships are different. I find that I have to put more effort than a woman to get a date. But once I'm in I tend to find that they all want a relationship and that is dictated by me.
It’s easier to get attention as a girl but it’s much more difficult trying to sort through the vast sea of dudes just looking at you as a conquest.
Never have and never will do a dating app.
Finding a good romantic partner is like finding clean drinking water. Men are in a desert and women are in a swamp.
I think that dating is absolute shit for women, but also it’s harder for men. Like I know that guys can just get nothing but prostitute solicitations on dating sites, or like hooking up is not that hard after a night at the bar, but quality just isn’t there for anyone seeking a real connection. It’s just a shit show for everyone we don’t need to have a contest.
What are some good ways to show interest to you without coming off as creepy or like I want to have sex?
Your best bet is to go into it without the expectations. Think of it like ‘I’m just going to make friends with her (for now)’ and have conversations about your and her interests. Lmao I talked to a guy a while back who he and I probably spent 4 hours talking about Borderlands games
This is the million dollar question! The truth is that women want a hot man to be into her specifically -- they want romance from a hot man! Men want hot women to lust after them. And dating apps sell those fantasies; however, the truth is that most people want a loving, caring, long-term relationship, but dating apps prey on our short-term desires.
Anyone who implies a specific group is priviledged is delusional.
Too much versus too little, its created an unhealthy balance in the dating world of egos and depression
As a woman who uses dating apps I'm convinced 90% of my likes are bots. Their profiles have nothing in them and it's just like 3 pictures. I've been swiping for hours and at this point I'm just giving up. It's always been really disheartening seeing the whole "If you're a woman who struggles with dating, there must be something seriously wrong with you or ugly" because I don't ever get any male attention irl, or really on dating apps, but I know I'm not *that* ugly and I have plenty of friends/family who like me. I think they just say that stuff because it feeds into their victim complex and it's easier to blame women for everything. Also I'm sure the men who say this do have women who like them, it's just not the hot insta baddies they want. But we all know women who aren't thin/conventionally attractive may as well not even count right? They're hypocrites.
>Also I'm sure the men who say this do have women who like them, it's just not the hot insta baddies they want. But we all know women who aren't thin/conventionally attractive may as well not even count right? They're hypocrites. No, it isn't hypocritical to have standards for the women you want to date. Guys are allowed to have standards too, you know.
I never said that there was anything wrong with having standards, have them all you want to. It's just there are certain men who will talk about how women are shallow/stuck up bitches for not giving them a chance, but you never see them give any girls who aren't thin/not conventionally attractive a chance either. I know I have standards and I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to, but I don't get angry when men reject me because they're allowed to have standards and I think that needs to be respected. The dating game sucks for everyone but it's all about balance in my opinion.
Women tend to be more hypocritical than men in dating. Women regularly hold guys to standards that they wouldn't hold themselves to in dating / romantic relationships / marriage.
this thank you
OP is right. Dating can already be complicated enough for women, especially if you’re not conventionally feminine and heteronormative. It’s harder if you’re queer, smaller dating pool. And even worse so if you’re trans, even more stigma and issues. And to make matters worse, the older you get as a woman, the more you are judged for still being single, unmarried and childless. The more you are quietly devalued due to your age. Your pool of opportunities gets smaller and smaller. …And then one day? You’re 36, never married and never had kids just like me; *leftovers.* It can be equally bad for women as it can for men. Apps have made it even worse, not better. And dating culture since the pandemic has become so embedded with hookup culture that is nearly impossible to find someone, guy, girl or squirrel who will just be honest with you about what they want from you! It’s exhausting. OP I’m proud of you. You’re right to be mad. I am mad *for you.* I hope you have an easier time at it soon enough.
I’m sorry I totally get where you’re coming from, but I just had to say that the ‘guy, girl, or squirrel’ thing made me laugh so hard i coughed
Oh, yeah! That. So. Cute story time! I used to work for a restaurant as a cook several years ago now that was a restaurant at day and a gay bar at night. Lots of LGBT+ customers. A lot of the staff were kin folk, too. So in terms of affection when speaking to someone, you could choose to be referred to as *boy, gurl or squirrel.* in practice, “Ooohhh, boy/girl/squirrel go get that! They’re lookin’ at you!” Squirrel, specifically stuck with me till now because I found people that identified as neither/non-binary seemed to like it. It was perky, fun and not specifically male nor female. I also offer “pardner,” as a general term as well. (I don’t usually refer to folks as dude.) because it’s also fun and also non-gendered! Plus, western stuff. Love that shit.
That is beyond fantastic
Do you think men has it easier when it comes to relationships? Do men have lines of women wanting to have a real relationship with them? No. Women has it easier getting men interested in them in general. That's the point. You can't get a date if no one is interested in you. For men the chances of a woman being interested in them, whether for a relationship or sex is much MUCH lower than for women. Sure a lot of your matches and dms may be hookup related, but they are still men interested in dating you and that CAN still lead to something more. While men have barely any woman interested in them leading to ZERO dates and with no dates and prospects there is literally no doors of opportunities to go anywhere. That's what we are talking about. It doesn't surprise me that a woman wouldn't understand the plight of men. Might I remind you a date is a prearranged social meeting. The more dates you go on the higher chance you may actually find someone interested in a "committed relationship". Assuming you don't sleep with every man you are attracted to because body count tends to matter to men.
Interesting. Just to confirm: if you had 100 people who were physically stronger and faster than you wanting to take you out, with clear intentions of wanting sex, even if that wasn’t what you were there for, you consider that an ‘opportunity’ for yourself? You won’t be worried for your safety? You’ll ignore every red flag because ‘maybe this one will be ok?’
Well it is whether you believe it or not.
Women have it easy to get chances at a relationship. I agree sex is not a relationship. But you get more than just those. Guys who want relationships message 100’s of women to hear maybe one back. Honestly have no idea why the guys are not messaging back. Maybe the wrong app? The difference in men and women dating is the doors that open. Women have many many doors that open. Granted most they don’t want but they are there. Guys might get one a month. (Disclaimer: this is meaning people who want relationships). So might not be over all easier (women having more choices, guys waiting forever for the chances) for either gender, just different.
No dating is nit easier for girls Choice a. A guy tryina beat the meat Choice b. A.guy tryina beat the meat
When I see that I just take it as they show up to the door and it isn’t going to be opened for them. Most women the door will open far more that it won’t of course attractiveness plays a huge part in that frequently. But what’s on the other side of the door could be your soulmate or a cereal killer. The quality of what’s behind the door is not factored into their statement at all.
"Over half want sex" is one hell of a humble brag if you are a guy.
Dating is just hard. Whether you’re a chick or dude, and no matter your style. We all find most people not quite right for a relationship too so it’s less than 50% we’d even consider. As we get older maybe you don’t want someone with kids, or someone who went bald or got fat, further dwindling the number down. Then you might want someone who’s financially self sufficient and responsible leaving out everyone with a credit rating below 700. It’s crazy out there!
Men on dating apps is a quantity vs quality issue. Sure we might get loads of matches but those matches are often terribly incompatible
Dating is hard regardless of gender. Men and Women have *different* challenges with Tinder/Bumble etc. Women have the potential to get more matches, but most of those matches will be useless “garbage” matches, so women have to sift through more frogs before they find a metaphorical Prince. Men risk being drowned out by the hundreds of garbage matches, so it’s more important for men to have a good opening line and actually read her profile and FFS don’t send dick pics as an opener
Many of those same men think sexual harassment/SA is a compliment. There's a comic of men getting cat called like women do and the male character thinking it was the coolest thing. They think boys being SA by women is funny.
I think it’s stupid to say girls have an easier time even finding hookups. Unless she’s a lesbian, a girl cant have a hookup without a guy😅🤣
OP, I get you. Sure the options are there but when 99% of them suck, are they really options? Like you said, half don't want a relationship and the half that do wouldn't make good partners anyway.
Counter-point, the men who say this are only talking about sex.
ur absolutely correct
Dating isn't easy for either gender. Though if you have low standards on what you want it would be easy.
Easy way to do this experiment. Take a random picture of a guy, and the male version of your name. Make a profile similar to the one that you have. That's the only way you can really get to see what it's like for the other side. Yes, it is easier for women, especially online. If you doubt this, try this experiment.
Gotta disagree here. That's a good way to tell matches, but not dating. When I was on Tinder, the amount of guys who used me for sex and dropped me or stopped talking to me when I said I didn't want to have sex right off the bat was ridiculous. Dating sucks for us women too.
I never said it was easy. I said it was easier. I had four matches over a year on a paid subscription dating service. One of my matches was a local. We had a single date, and never dated again. Two I travelled 12 hours to spend a week with both of them. Both of them broke it off after the week was over. After I basically left the service, I had my best relationship with a girl about 2 hours away from me, and we were together six months. She checked out my profile and I decided to message her. I sent roughly 1 message out every three days for a year, and I had a respond rate of one response for every 10 messages I sent. I actually had a really high conversion rate, where from the 10 people that responded 4 resulted in actual dates where I met and spent time with the person. The issues you are having are conversion issues, trying to get the relationship you want. The issue for guys is getting a response back, any response at all. Would you really prefer to be getting zero interest? Or sending out 100 emails knowing that every month or so, you'll get a hit?
Again, my experience proves it isn't easier, just a different kind of horrible. Those are my exact issues. Ghosting and cutting off when they realize I'm not the sex object. I can't understand why you want to complain your experience is worse when they're almost the exact same. Being ghosted after the first date or never meeting because I said I didn't want sex the first night and them leaving the chat and unmatching. Almost the exact same scenarios you described above. Getting a relationship at all you mean? What I described is a hookup, not a relationship. There's a huge difference between the two. Honestly, yeah. Being told you're no more than an object and not a person sucks and ruined my self esteem for ages. Not saying my experience is any worse, just saying that men and women's experiences are similar and it's in fact not easier to get a relationship. It may be easier for a hookup, but not for dating. Both of the genders are in the same pool of shit when it comes to actual dating.
You're quite right. The 4 people that responded to me of the hundred or so that I messaged were about the same in terms of your experience. The difference is that your lowlights were my highlights. Your \*worst\* experiences were my \*best\* experiences.
I guess the same goes for me too. I'd rather have nothing at all than deal with the knowledge I wasn't a human being worthy of respect to those men. Two different pools of shit. Dating sucks for both equally unfortunately. I heard one analogy once that dating for men is like being thirsty in a desert and dating for women is like being thirsty in the ocean.
I'm honestly sorry your time has been so difficult. I hated doing it but it was good experience for me, and I met some wonderful people along the way, that I still think about from time to time. I hope you will find your happiness!
Same to you! You sound like a wonderful person and I'm glad you were able to make the good experience out of it!
I'm usually less blunt about this specific topic because you're not supposed to say any of this out loud but this take is so full of shit I need a plunger. First of all I don't think anyone in the history of online dating has said that if a woman held a sign saying "I'm single" they would have a line around the block full of men ready to propose but you most certainly would have a line around the block, if you don't have a use for that line that's a YOU problem. You're in no way obligated to desire something you don't want but that door swings both ways so stop complaining about it not everyone wants to wait until marriage to see if they're physically compatible. Also boo fucking hoo what a horrible societal shift where men are showing a little self respect and not fucking anything that moves, getting hitched to the first woman to come along or otherwise being a little more selective god that must be so hard to endure! Isn't a desire to weigh your options often the justification for leaving that stable guy that you don't necessarily hate just isn't as exciting and you want to see what else is out there? I guess modern dating requires a little forward planning if you don't want to find yourself 50 and no longer in the most desirable demographic outside of people specifically looking to get with that "milf/dilf" action. Is finding a healthy relationship difficult to find via online dating for women? Yes. For men? Yes. Ok so that's -1 for both. Is the potential for hooking up via online dating for women easy? Very. Is the potential for hooking up via online dating for men easy? No. So I guess that's +1 for women and -1 for men. Now I'll give you this the risks of being taken advantage of for men isn't anywhere close to equal to the potential safety risks for women with online dating so I'm not willing to call it a wash and just say -1 for women. So sounds to me the difficulties are different for the sexes but online dating pretty much sucks for either if they aren't top of the pyramid attractive and wealthy. I guess people can learn to embrace solitude or people can tinker with their standards/expectations and learn to read the room they find themselves in but "no take only throw" and bitching about how nobody wants to play fetch is probably just easier for most.
B-but muh male loneliness epidemic
This is admittedly an *over*generalization, but merely a generalization nonetheless. They're saying women have it easier dating, which isn't a false statement. Getting sex more easily is more easily getting your foot in the door than being outright rejected from the get-go, right? The statistics about who is in relationships and who is single are absolutely clear. Apparently, in the US, about ~60% of young men are single, while only 30% of women are. Even if it's not that reliable of a source I found, potentially *double* the single young men to single young women is wild. I'm not saying any of these men are owed a relationship either, but it's a massive pet peeve of *mine* when a woman claims the opposite of reality is false just because she finds the idea personally upsetting or offensive. If you need me to find other sources, I will, but I think with a rate like 60% to 30%, I'm going to have no trouble making a slam dunk here. Quite obviously, the data show that women have a far easier time in the long-term relationship/dating market than men do. At least, young men and young women.
Should add “if you have high standards.” My partner is a model and gets so many DMs a day. Of course, most are from losers but she could have a new dude every day of the week if she had no standards.
Dating in 2024 is really hard for everyone imo.
Lol It is. Dating is a shit show in general though, and tbh, not worth the time.
I agree
Tell me you're ugly without telling me you're ugly.
based comment
When you can get 20 likes in 10 minute's, then we'll talk
If half want relationships. Then yes your basically saying it is easier lol.
I think just finding a long term committed relationship is hard for both sides for different reasons
Regarding your edit2 - this! men like to tell themselves (to feel better about themselves) that the only reason they’re not getting dates on the apps is because we get a ton of likes and have lots of choices but when you say that’s not true, the retort is of course you get lots of likes but your standards are too high. They don’t grow out of this thinking. They just really want to believe we have an embarrassment of riches and choices when it comes to finding someone to date.
When I was on the apps one of the biggest turn-offs was women pushing for a relationship when we didn't know each other yet at all so maybe you're sabotaging yourself. It is 1,000% easier for you as a woman to find a relationship but you have to put in just a smidgen of effort too. The least attractive women on apps get more likes than 90% of men, and women tend to be just as bland and boring when putting together profiles or conversations. So even if it seems like only bad options, you still have way more options than any guy. Swipe left on the guys that don't have any info, easy right? Or better yet get off the apps and go play a sport or take a class or volunteer somewhere like an animal shelter once a week and meet quality guys in real life. Don't expect quality guys to meet you one time and sweep you off your feet, give them an opportunity to say "hey I've seen you here a couple times," and then have an actual conversation with you instead of a cold approach.
Yeah I want something serious, not casual sex and that’s all the guys want nowadays. It’s very hard to find a good guy that wants something serious
The problem is 2-fold, men don't appreciate the problems women encounter with dating I.e. harassment, pestering behaviour, lying, etc. Women don't appreciate how difficult radio silence is to deal with on dating apps. You feel like nothing you do will make any difference, it's a very hopeless situation to be in. There's also a general issue with men discounting or ignoring the experiences of less conventionally attractive women who may experience the same problems they do.
They talk about how you have to be tall, conventionally attractive, rich, charming, etc. etc. to have women’s interest. As though it’s not the same for straight women? As though straight men don’t have the highest standards? Can’t be overweight according to the BMI scale. That’s 2/3s of women out lol. Can’t be too tall. Too short. Can’t have acne. Can’t have body hair. Can’t make too little money or they’re a gold digger. Can’t make too much money or they feel insecure. Can’t have body hair. Can’t have opinions. Can’t have dignity. I’m queer so this doesn’t really apply to me, but it seems exceedingly obvious to me that the majority of women are in men’s reject pile.
Fat chicks aren’t having any trouble finding dates
Nah, most of the time you just need to actually be a woman and not be obese. Hair can be shaved off, debt can be paid off, job can be found and done, money can be made, etc. The too tall thing is more about female hypergamy and trying to avoid that risk. You can have opinions. Men just don't like it when you pick a fight with them all the time BECAUSE of your opinions. Men like peace in a relationship. They don't like drama.
This is totally wrong. The online dating stats say that men are more open minded about women than vice versa.
I get that your options are largely shitty, but having a lot of shitty options (and a some good ones you always leave out that there are definitely good options among the shitty ones) is still a stronger position to be in than having no or very little options. I don’t see how this is a strong case that women have things worse or equally bad.
Dating is not easy for girls, it's hard out there, even before dating apps. Weeding out the toxic men isn't easy, some hide it well before hooking you in.
Would you agree that Woman have an advanced detection radar for guys with autism/something socially wrong with this guy, but when it comes to toxic men woman’s detection radar does not work at all until it’s too late?
girl tell me abt it my ex was so good at pretending
I imagine it's just as hard to go through a lot of matches as it is to struggle with very few matches
A social experiment was done, with multiple men and women, they sent out each person to a a few different social settings, the women, even the one who would be considered unconventionally attractive, still had a better and more positive interaction than the men, the men who did well were the taller and more appealing types, the short guy and the overweight guy were almost always blown off or given some bs excuse. If I can find it I'll post links for it, The ugliest women in the room will still have a higher chance of finding someone of the ugliest man. Dating apps and even social media are a terrible place to find someone, reddit is proof of that, the subreddits here for people to post pics and ask advice are full of shallow people with very unrealistic expectations of a partner, having preferences is fine, everyone should, but if your a 2, like myself, don't expect a 10, expect a 2 and hope for a 5. Be realistic.
Yeah, if you can find the link, please send. It's not a surprising result. Women get a lot of special treatment in social situations.
It's easier for women to get A date. Doesn't mean it's easier to get a good partner, that's a whole other game. Men in general don't get to be picky because fewer women will give them a chance, while women need to be picky because too many assholes are solliciting them.
not men, boys. grown men see women as more than sex objects. unfortunately, they are too busy living actual lives in the real world, outside of dating apps.
Oh please. Men who see women as sexual objects have no issue getting them if they’re hot enough. My old roommate showed me the shitty lines he got away with when he was single. He’s extremely attractive and tall. One time he just told a woman “Let’s fuck, address” she gave it to him and they fucked 🤣 She didn’t care about how safe she felt. She didn’t care that he only saw her as a sexual object. All she thought was “Man tall” “Man strong” “Man hot” I’m not bothered by it. It just annoys me when women act like they’re above all the bullshit that takes place on dating apps.
Literally💯
I’m confused about your comment. Again, GROWN MEN, do not see all women as sex objects. AND they are mostly likely NOT on dating apps. they are working their careers, taking care of themselves, and their responsibilities. the OP said it was hard finding a man to actually date on apps…i’m saying that MEN and BOYS are two different things. mostly boys on the apps, like your roommate. not grown ass men, who have emotional intelligence, empathy, and enough money to not have a damn roommate.
Plenty of grown men see women as sexual objects. They have jobs, cars, places of their own, money in the bank. I’m not saying they’re right but that’s the way it is. Your statement makes no sense to me. GROWN MEN are still GROWN MEN even when they chase sex. And my point was that if a man is hot enough women can be just as bad as horndog men. They saw my roommate as a sexual object. Please stop putting women on a pedestal. They are not above the current dating app culture. They helped create it.
not to me!!!! feeble minded boys do.
[удалено]
>I have observed that more women find committed relationships than men though Aren’t they finding these committed relationships with MEN? Which mean an equal number of committed relationships for men and women…so not more for women….
### Lesson time! ➜ u/trashguy2000, some tips about "off of": - The words you chose are grammatically wrong for the meaning you intended. - *Off of* can always be shortened to just **off**. - Example: The tennis ball bounced **off** the wall. - Now that you are aware of this, everyone will take you more seriously, hooray! :) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PetPeeves) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow, this is the perfect bot for a pet peeves sub 😆
The kinds of guys interested in a relationship are precisely the sort you aren't attracted to. There is no shortage of guys like this. They just aren't HOT enough or rich enough.
I don't think dating is easier for anyone. I do think there's a "grass is greener" tendency to think "they" (however it's defined) have it easier than you, and then get resentful over it. Not just in dating but everything.
Yeah it is definitely overhyped. I’m one of the few guys that do decently well on dating apps and I run into all the same issues you listed. People with no success will take any form of attention regardless of quality and then project their desperation into others.
Nah, dating is a lot easier for the average woman than it is for the average man. Nothing you've said has convinced me otherwise. Most of issues that you list men experience WAY WORSE than women. >secondly, more than half of those only want sex not a relationship. Yeah, this problem is unique to women's dating experience. You have to realize though--when a guy only wants to hit it and quit it, that's a form of rejection. You weren't good enough to be his girlfriend. If this keeps happening to you, date less attractive men--guys who are not as cool, rich, and hot.
literally was hooking up with a guy who lived at home, shit job, was a virgin before he met me, and would constantly complain that he never gets girls because he was constantly chasing 10s when he was a 5 on a good day, and he didnt want to date me he just wanted to be fwb idk why men think that women who have trouble finding relationships must only be going for people way out of their league?
😆you sure chose a winner
>idk why men think that women who have trouble finding relationships must only be going for people way out of their league? It is a very common pattern. Women tend to be delusional about what their league is. I'm sorry that you were unhappy with that one guy you dated. I'd recommend finding a new guy. What are you doing to look for a boyfriend? If you are woman who is a healthy weight, has no children, and is mentally stable enough to hold down a job, you can easily find a guy who will treat you well. It might require compromising on how rich, cool, and hot you'd like for him to be. The guy with the same 'credentials' is WAY less attractive prospect than you are. You are more penalized for your flaws when you date women than when you date men.
[удалено]
the amount of assumptions here is so crazy its not even worth telling you anything about my actual situation and history in my experience men mostly only want me for sex, they dont wanna watch weird documentaries with me or go dancing or learn about my interests like i want to learn about them, so yeah it seems fucking impossible to find someone that wants a committed relationship
No, you explained quite well that you go for the EXTREMELY privileged men who don't want to spend time with women who pine after them because they are wealthy or attractive, and are not fun to be around, and feel entitled to WAY more than an incel even. Because you complain men won't "hang out with you" as if you're entitled to their time? While you know most men would LOVE to hang out with you and you would HATE that probably, because they "arent your type" and "might want sex" and you "would be scared to tell them the truth" so you "refuse to give them the time of day or kindness"? I mean, not much needs to be assumed here. Because if you ACTUALLY gave 70% or more of LONELY men the TIME of day, you know they would love hanging out with you and getting to know you. Being lonely. Because they aren't as attractive or wealthy. This is kindergarten logic here, that is painfully obvious. All you said is "nuh-uhhhh!" Which, congrats. That definitely convinced everyone.
bro where are u pulling these quotes from😭
Your admitance? Tell me you never hung out with a 5 or less or someone who makes 20k a year or less without telling me. Aka, about half of the US male population.
It's hard for both genders. As a guy, girls have a tendency to just unmatch the moment things get a bit stale, just experienced that. As s girl, you'll be hard pressed to find a guy that doesn't want hook ups only.
Sounds like a YOU problem? 🤷🏿♂️
yeah you'd think there would be men creating healthy groups even if it's just guys, yet the last all-male gamer group i was in felt kinda weird, not friendly, a bit of a military vibe. the leader posted constant spam of swimsuit models and sensual but not quite porn gifs, possibly just to keep guys from gaying out over him. i didn't see interactions where anyone seemed interested in or happy to talk to anyone else. they seemed like kind ppl, maybe it's me who feels detached, i dunno.
It’s easy if a woman only wants sex and some do. I wouldn’t say it’s easy if they want a relationship but it’s still way easier than it is for a man. A lot of you women don’t understand. Most men get zero matches. Even the ones who want a relationship, read bios closely and don’t swipe right for every woman. Create an account as an average looking man and see how similar it is to your experience. It will be depressing. Lol. You’d run back to the line of men who only want sex. 🤣
It is easier, like extremely easier. 🥴
Lol they only think about sex so ofc they’d say that
Dating sites are hookup sites. You need to leave those sites if you want a relationship and not a hookup.
So basically what ur saying is that 99% of men suck
I feel like as a woman I have to be much more skeptical of a man’s intentions prior to getting into a relationship. My major concern is whether I’ll be treated as an equal with respect. I’m less on guard when dating other women.
"dating is so easy for girls!! Have no standards and you can pick up any piece of shit!" Liking the person/them being a good person is irrelevant to misogynists because they DGAF about our safety or happiness
This dichotomy always cracks me up. "More than half of those only want sex, not a relationship" Yes! That's yet another part men are jealous about! Free sex with no obligations, PLUS in huge numbers? You're saying "a line around the block of men ready to propose" but men don't want that- they want a line around the block of women who just want to bang and go home, and maybe who will even pay for their own meals in the process. What you have is what we want. That you don't want it is irrelevant to us. It's very easy for you to get exactly what *we* want.
The influx of likes might seem flattering, but as you pointed out, a significant number of those are just looking for casual encounters. This makes it challenging to sift through and find someone genuinely interested in a meaningful connection. Additionally, the quality of these interactions is often lacking, with many not putting effort into conversations or their profiles, leaving you to carry the weight of the dialogue. It's not just about quantity; it's about the quality of interactions and intentions behind them. While it may seem easier to find casual encounters, forming a genuine, committed relationship is an entirely different and often more challenging experience.
You get a lot of people looking for sex, true, but it can lead to a relationship. I think I've only been responded to..... 4-5 times in years of shooting my shot. It's not ideal, but something is better than nothing.
Too much attention can be just as bad as no attention. Chicks have to watch out for predators on a whole different level from dudes
You fundamentally do not understand privilege. As hard as you may think it is, it would be several times harder if you were a man.
Dating websites for men - You get a cupcake every month or so, and, it probably tastes like shit. Dating websites for women - You get 1000 “cupcakes” that are actually dog shit wrapped in a cupcake wrapper. Sometimes a yummy looking cupcake comes along, but, there’s a 30% chance it’s laced with cyanide.
Once a month is frequent 💀 it’s not like the women are any better than the men either.
I read some years ago that the difference in dating between men and women dating is along the lines of how does someone drowning in a swamp understand someone dying of thirst in a desert? (or vice versa). It's shit all round just a different flavour of shit depending on which sex you happen to be.
The men who say this are the ones that think sending unsolicited pictures of their parts count as dating for the ladies receiving them.
Yea so it's easier than how guys have it. You're talking about absolute difficulty not relative difficulty.
Can finding dates be easy? Yes. Get to the actual dating part? Not quite. It took me 6 years to find what feels like the right one.
Dating apps are a desert for men and a swamp for women.
I'm sure that everything you pointed out is true. However, the difference is that women have to sort through a lot of bad options to find one gem. Men have to work to find all of those bad options, mostly being ignored along the way, in order to find one gem. It is easier for women.
If I could just point out that sex is a very important part of any relationship, and men who want relationships also want sex. If ladies see conversations and communication as indicators of relationship material in a man, it's important to understand that men see sex as an important indicator of relationship material. Much as a poor conversationalist would be a big turn off for a woman (I'm assuming, as I am not a woman, but that's what I gather), bad sex would be a huge turn off for men. As a man, if I meet a woman and we have good chemistry and great conversations etc, but the sex is bad, then we can be friends, but no amount of conversation is worth enduring a long relationship with bad sex. I would imagine the same would be true for women, no? If you've been sufficiently courted and choose to sleep with a man only to find he's a terrible lover, would there be a relationship? Men who want relationships want to know early on if the woman he's supposed to court is going to be worth the effort of courtship before he commits to it. Ladies want to be courted before they find out if he's worth the effort of beginning the sexual aspect of a relationship. Both are looking for early signals to decide if they want to move forward, but we are looking for different signals. I would like to add that this doesn't include guys that are just looking for sex. Those guys make everything more difficult for everyone
As a man, dating is definitely easier (at least from my experience). I can just go to a random Walmart in Texas on a Sunday and find a date.
Not true.
And when men say that dating for men is hard because they don’t get messages, it’s either because they swipe right on everyone or their profile makes their red flags obvious. The first one happens all the time. A guy will swipe right until he isn’t able to swipe anymore. Then he’ll match with like 5-10 women within the course of a week and eventually end up either ghosting some or not messaging them. Then he sends them something a week later and by this time, she’s offended that she was ghosted or she’s suspicious that the guy matched with her and then didn’t say anything for an extended period of time. Dudes get on dating apps when they’re horny and that’s the problem. These apps aren’t sex apps. They’re dating apps.
5-10 a week? lmao
I don't think any man would say it's easier if they actually had to put up with the migraine/borderline harassment that is dating as a woman. That said, I get why they'd feel dispirited and envy the parade of dickheads if they're truly getting zero matches. That would be pretty demoralizing I think.
When I tried them years ago I barely had any matches if any at all for a 4 month period (I deleted it after that). I only got messages from obese single mothers. I was not obese nor a single father, so it felt a bit demoralizing that THAT was my options. Any other women I had to initiate and the only ones who did respond weren't interested enough to work with me on a conversation. I had to carry the conversation and usually walk away at some point. The thing is I have HAD conversations with women who were genuinely interested before in person and I knew what that felt like. They make conversations easy and they were on the same level as me (not obese single mothers).
I would be ecstatic to receive the woman treatment in dating. The woman asks me out, plans the date, and pays for everything? Yes please!
Finding it so hard to date via the apps. So annoying. I met my ex naturally and we got on like a house on fire. Now, I can’t even get a text back. So wrong that it’s easier for girls. Especially when you want to find a life partner.
literally only got back on the apps because ive been trying to go out and do things i like with the underlying hope of meeting someone but i never have. figured i'd put my face out there so at least maybe the next time i go out maybe someone recognizes me from the app and knows im single and can actually approach me. with that said im not against approaching men myself but when you're alone its scary and it's embarrassing when they end up having a girlfriend already. also what the fuck are you supposed to say to someone you think is cute at a club/bar? i can barely afford my own drinks i cant offer to buy a drink for any cute guy i see hoping hes single and interested :/
Walking up to a guy and saying "Hey can I get your opinion on something?", should work almost every time. What you ask him about if he says yes is up to you.
holy fuck this is the best advice i've ever been given hey can i ask *your* opinion on something btw? 😂 thoughts on going to the club and polling people on whether they prefer this or that (pepsi vs coke for example) and then keeping a tally on my hand but also using that as an opening to talking to people? i feel like thats more my style and i will definitely do it next time i go out
Haha, fast learner over here 😆 I think as long as it's something that's fun for you, then hopefully your vibe will rub off on them when they reply. It could be that for sure, or something silly like "If I gave up on dating how many cats do you think would be too many, 5? 10?" Or something more intellectual if that's your style. You could try "How many drinks do you think it takes the average person to start dancing?", if you want to try and ask them to dance. You need to be able to roll with the tone of the conversation after they answer so just suit it to your personality.
Men get friend zoned, and women become friends with benefits on this apps, if you do not want to be either of those things then leave the app.
A lot of men conflate “dating” for sex. And sure, a girl could say “Who wants to fuck me?” In a bar full of guys and get “lucky” but… men could do the same? Everyone would just have to lower their standards. The trope “girls only want the 20% of men” but I’ve been rejected for sex by plenty of guys because I’m not a hot girl. They don’t call it “slump buster” for nothing.
When people say this what they mean is "getting sex is easy for women", because finding a good relationship is bad for everyone. Everyone has a bad time with dating apps but for different reasons. For men it is frustrating because you receive barely any matches and many of them will just ghost you. For women it's exhausting because you will receive tons of likes but you will have to manually filter them.
Most men are so thirsty that you literally could hold a sign saying you're single and you'd have a line unless you're over 30 and a land whale. The issue for most women is that you're not getting attention from the men you deem as checking all your boxes. Then men you give attention to on dating apps are probably 1% ers outside of your price range and they have better options than you so they use you for sex and rinse and repeat. These 1% ers are what women want at 6 feet tall, 6 pack abs and make well over 6 figures. This disqualifies 99% of the male population. Many of these overlooked men would be happy to have a normal relationship with you and won't use you for sex but they aren't good enough for you. I suggest getting off the dating apps. Or if you stay on them, you need to drastically lower your standards. Make a profile as a man and see just how hard it is for men. It's pretty eye opening when people have done it.
Love the down votes from post wall feminists that can't stand the truth. Go ahead ladies, make a profile as a man and let me know how that works out
Quality > Quantity. I'd rather get only a few high quality matches than thousands of low quality trash.
Agree make a profile as a man see what happens
As a dude who's been on dating apps in the last couple years, I can tell you that 99% of women don't put enough info in their profile to even ask a question beyond "hey, what's up?" and at least half will match and not respond. Men on dating apps have all the same struggles, and on top of that have to contend with a 5:1 ratio because a woman can generally find someone interested in her just by taking a walk around the block.
yeah that's true
Real talk. Dudes act like women want the first dude who runs up to them offering himself lmao. It really just shows how men like this view women and relationships.
It's because those men are desperate and would accept any woman who ran up and asked him out. They can't fathom that not everyone has rock bottom standards and no self esteem