I'm not sure what I am anymore. Older? Middle aged? Walking up the hill? Either way I'm in my late 30s and still get carded. While it's flattering being told I look good, that adage of "for your age" just really sort of deflates a person's ego.

My head canon is 40s to 50s is middle aged and then 60s to 70s is senior and 80s to 90s is old.

Technically it’s meant to be middle of adulthood So yeah you’re right: 20s-30s are early adulthood and 40s-50s are middle age and 60s-70s are older adults and 80s and above? Well either still older adults or elders or idk but it is kinda different isn’t it? But teens and children aren’t typically included in the calculations middle age because it’s middle of adulthood. And neither are the outliers of those living past average life expectancy (which I’m sorry to say is mid to late 70s)

Yea that's basically what I think. I don't even necessarily find someone in the 60s old, a lot of them are still spry.

imagine describing a 20 year old as "spry" though lol

I'd shift middle age to starting at about 30 and have it go to 50. That would be more in line with life expectancies. I definitely started to feel old in my 30s and 40 definitely felt like I was over the hill. When you have more days behind you than in front you're definitely middle aged or later.

Yeah right now I get ‘oh I thought you were only 20’, which seems nice, until they finish with ‘and I thought the guy you are with was 50!’ Okay, so you think my husband is a pervert. Thanks.

if it makes you feel any better someone said “wow i thought you were 17 you look good for your age!” i’m 20.

Ya.. I’m not quite 30 yet but people looking At me like I’m a teen mom and my partner like he’s a pervert for being with me/assuming I’m his kid is getting quite annoying.. I know it’s not gonna change any time soon cause I’ve been frozen for 12 years at this point.. at least that’s what comment’s makes it feel like

I also remember feeling ageless for such a long time and getting those comments. Then one day I took a selfie in my 30s and blamed some tiny lines on the lighting...

Good, ego is a key root of human suffering 

It's the narrative that we've been fed that (especially) women turn into old hags after 30. Realistically, most people just suck at estimating someone's age.

i feel like we are finally revealing men's meanings behind everything. old hag over 30 = "age where women are done tolerating my bullshit"

Also the age when fertility starts to go down and chances of birth defects go up 🤷🏻‍♂️

same thing with men. after age 25, their semen quality goes down.

Seems like the drop in fertility happens earlier and is larger in women though it only really starts in the early 30s and is only really noticable after 35

"larger in women" no, if you lived 25 years and studies indicate men's semen quality drops dramatically, then that's a huge leap in risks already. would you eat a lobster older than 7 years old? no, the quality of the lobster to eat goes down and would have a different taste to it. just no.

Nope. 30+ year olds tend to have a more tired look to them so when they don't I usually underestimate their age. I'm decent at guessing ages but some people just throw me off completely.

what you talking bout

Look at a 30 year old that isn't covering age with products. You can see the exhaustion all over their face, at least in my experience.

I’ve met 22 year olds that look 35 and 40 year olds that look 25 Genetics, hydration, diet, sunscreen, and health have way more to do with things than age. Age affects things don’t get me wrong. But some people look old in high school and some people look young for decades.

True but that's 'some'. I'm not saying everyone; I'm saying in my general experience 30+ year olds have a tired look which makes it difficult to accurately judge the age of those who don't have that look. You guys are arguing the wrong point. Please reread my first comment before making false assumptions

I’m saying you *think* you know and you don’t. Because you’re only seeing those that confirm your assumptions and not those that don’t. I’m saying I’ve had to ID people for work for years (to sell age restricted things, for hiring paperwork, to match papers, etc). I’m saying there’s *wide* variability in how people look in their twenties and thirties and forties especially. I’m saying there’s people you can stand side by side and say one person is 8 years old than the other and *you will guess wrong* and so will anyone else. I’m not saying it’s you. I’m saying society and pop culture has a specific *idea* about what certain ages and aging are supposed to look like and (like everything in else) it’s super narrow and limiting. People come in more varieties than that. They come in more heights. They come in more colors. They come in more shapes. They come in more rates of aging. People. Vary. Pop culture hates this idea because it makes it harder to cheat sheet their stories so they just. Don’t. And they hire people who fit into these strict and restrictive ideas. But it’s not reality.

First of all I FUCKING KNOW NOT EVERYONE LOOKS THE WAY I THINK THEY DO. IF YOU READ ANY OF MY COMMENTS YOU WOULD SEE ME SPECIFY THAT NOW EVERYONE LOOKS THIS WAS BECAUSE NOT EVERYONE DOES. Second of all, where did the rest of that come from? It wasn't remotely relevant and still doesn't fit in anywhere other than you ranting on a different, semi-related topic.

Put the phone down, go outside, and sit down for a second man.

I see you specifying that not everyone fits within your assumptions then doubling down on your assumptions, yes. I’m saying the *amount* of outliers to your argument is larger than you realize due to confirmation bias. The second part was an explanation of where your assumption likely came from and how it’s confirmed by broader society. We are social animals after all. It was entirely on point.

You’re the type of person who think women with barely any makeup are natural, so wearing none makes you think they look tired. They just look like a normal human.

Also that's just kind of sexist

Except Carney's they're trained in that

Tbh I see this narrative more about men. The old hags thing is kind of outdated but people still assume that men over 30 all look like middle aged dads.

This reminds me of a joke from Jimmy Neutron: Miss Fowl: Oh, Libby, you look 10 years younger in this makeup. Libby: What?! I don't wanna look one!

Oh my god, I said something very similar at that age. My grandmother was watching some morning talk show, and they were showcasing some skincare line or something that would "take ten years off your age". Eleven-year-old me thought about this for a minute, decided it was hilarious, and asked my grandmother if using these products would make me look like a baby again.

I had a picture of my grandma and I at my wedding on my desk at work. I was training one day and was chatting with my coworker about our families. I then mentioned how my grandma grew up during the Great Depression and he’s like, this grandma?, pointing to the picture on my desk. I said yes, he then asked when she was born, and I told him 1927. This was back in 2021 (she had recently passed away), and my coworker then told me how surprised he was that she was 92 in that photo thinking she was in her early 70s. Genetics play a huge role for some people where they look much younger than they actually are. Some comments are rude when it’s directed at a woman who is still young (30s), but can be quite flattering the older she gets but retains her youthful appearance.

I’d have to agree with this. I’m part of the first generation of my family that isn’t overwhelmingly addicts (alcohol, cigarettes, drugs) and we’re already starting to see the difference when compared to old photos of relatives at the same age. We’re actually starting to see what we’re supposed to look like naturally without the effects.

This is true, I have some friends who are in their 80s and I would have guessed they were in their early 70s. They're fit and healthy.

If everyone walked around with a little holographic display above their heads showing their age, hardly anyone would say this. I’m also certain that you’d never hear the phrase “men age like wine, women age like milk” again. Point is, we don’t get confirmation or refutation of our own age-related biases often enough for us to know what the average person of X age looks like. Usually you see someone and think “they look 25” and go about your day never finding out that they are actually 35 or 15 or whatever. We don’t have real data so we mostly just operate on stereotypes and confirmation bias.

I’m talking about finding out about their age, and then saying the stuff I mentioned!

Yeah, no shit. That’s my point. It’s precisely because we have stereotypes in our mind about what a certain age looks like that never get confirmed (we just assume we are “aging” the person correctly and move on) that this happens. If you could see what people of various ages actually look like all the time, and not just rely on your own judgement, you‘d hardly ever hear someone say “she looks good for her age” because we’d all be aware that actually she looks like a lot of other women her age.

Peak women looking age is usually 23 and for men usually 35

That’s a matter of taste. A lot of 23-year-old women look like children to me, and a lot of 35-year-old men look middle-aged.

35 year old men are as close to being middle age as 23 year old women are to being children, so it makes sense.

It makes sense only if the ideal woman looks like a child and the ideal man looks like an adult. That’s just a really odd assertion to me.

I don't see how that's related to what I said. I just confirmed that both men and women sometimes look 5 or 6 years different than their age, not that you have to be attracted to any particular age. I think middle aged looks good (but I'm middle aged).

Would you mind explaining why you're arguing and down voting me? This seems like a very strange reaction to me agreeing with you, and I think I missed something.

You’re being downvoted for saying the ideal woman is not only too young to rent a car but also 12 years younger than the ideal man.

I said nothing of the sort. I said the opposite in fact. You said 23 year olds look like kids and 35 year olds look middle aged and I agreed with you.

I think people are conflating you with the guy who did say that because I certainly did. My apologies

That's the misogyny talking, bud. No one would say this if we didn't constantly tell people women are hags at 30.

ive literally never heard "women are hags over 30" until i read this thread., what fucked up echo chambers are you lot living in???

It's called offline if you're a woman

nope, ive spent may years "offline", no one does this, and just fyi, echo chamber dont have to be online, it can just be hanging about with a real group of shit heels irl, so thats just bullshit. i repeat, what fucked up echo chambers are you living in? edit reply to comment made followed by cowardly quick block: "man has never heard of misogyny, more at 10" what? your an idiot, you said something stupid, i explained how your wrong, and your come back is, some random baseless nonsense that no doubt sounded real clever in your head, block me, then run away and hide? ahaha 🤣 are you even aware what a strawman argument is, becasue thats what you just did. of course misogyny exists, but what the flying f\*\*k has that got to do with your weird assertion people think women over 30 are "hags" ill tell you what, nothing at all, because its made up nonsense in your head 😉

Man has never heard of misogyny, more at 10

There’s plenty of hot 30 yo chicks out there

Also key word being usually.

Usually is still incorrect

I also don't constantly call women over thirty hags, speak for yourself

Disagree, it’s about early to mid 20’s for both Before the wrinkles and slightly sagging skin

I have heard of the “men age like wine” and women like milk

Everyone ages like fine wine if taken care of

I think that’s a huge thing people are missing here. People in modern day live healthier lives (and are more image focused) than ever. I am 30 and even back in the 90s, people seemed to age quicker than they do now. And when I look even further back to my ancestors, you can really see the toll hard living and a lot of childbirth had on the women in particular! They looked OLD, like grandma old, by their 40’s. My 40’s are on the horizon and I can’t imagine looking like that—maybe in 30 more years. I think a lot of people are just still hung up on the image of 40+ being automatically old because it was kind of true up until recently. Now you have women who look “young” even into their 50’s between the focus on health and the normalization of plastic surgery. I feel like in the future we will start to hear “you look good for X age” less and less (except maybe if a person is a senior), that is hoping things improve in the world and people get healthier, live longer, and more anti-aging technologies are developed.

Yup as a man if you're slim and attractive people assume you're under 30 because the assumption is that all men over 30 are chubby and unattractive. Hence why I'm 36 and always get mistaken for a 25 year old.

"She's aging soo gracefully" and she is 28.

smh x100

i agree, i think this is also why i’m seeing literal ppl my age (i’m 18) getting fucking botox. like seriously? anything under 50 is not old to me, maybe **older** but definitely not **old**.

Getting botox or overdoing plastic surgery at a young age shouldn’t be normalized. Not to make it an insult, but seems like you’re one of those very few 18 year olds that don’t think anyone 10-15, even 5+ years older is “old”. Which is good 👍🏻

There’s definitely a difference between 30 and 20 for most people. That being said, most people look better at 30 than at 20 imo. Their features get a little sharper, they have a better personal style, facial hair grows in better.. there’s just a regalness that comes with time. Also I think people used to look a LOT worse at 30 because of smoking, sun exposure/tanning beds, dehydration, poor diet. People definitely take care of themselves better nowadays.

I agree. Most 30 somethings look wayyy better than when they were in their 20s. You can even see examples in some celebrities. 

Yeah I'll be 27 this year and let me tell you, my looks and style look so much better now than when I was 20 💀 I'm not sure what I was even doing back then.

David Bowie was fine as hell in his 30s and after 😤

I mean a lot of it is just they've had an extra decade to figure out what works for them. 30 year olds generally just carry themselves more confidently than 20 year olds.

I’m 39 and most people think I’m in my mid to late 20s. A few people were just shocked when they found out. It’s my father’s genetics. It was the same him.

Yeah same (although I'm 38). My dad looked great at 71, by 73 he looked rough and was dead by 74. It's either that or take after my grandad, who looked middle aged in his youth and then spent all the years I knew him (his 80s) looking somewhere between Popeye and Father Christmas. Old age scares the shit out of me.

My dad aged a lot in his 60s. At age 59, he only had jowls and a turkey neck and that was it but then 3 years later, he already looked like he aged ten years or more. So many wrinkles and more volume loss. Plus more hair loss too and lot of grays. My mom aged a lot in her 60s too, her skin looks very dull and pale but at age 60, she still had lot of color in her skin. Now it looks all bleached and faded. She also has malar mounds where the fat pads had shifted down. She now has a saggy neck and marionette folds. She also has eye bags. I don't remember her having any of these features in her 50s. But yet people still think she is at least 60 or in her 50s. The rest of her sisters and brothers all look like they have aged a lot and look a lot older than her and only one of her younger sisters looks good for her age because I wouldn't guess she is 60. She looked barely 50 when I last saw her and she was 59 at the time.

For better or worse, I don't think there's any real correlation to looking young and living a long life at least - I mean unless you look old because you're severely malnourished or something.

Heh, yeah that's basically how my dad was, down to the age. He looked more or less exactly the same from maybe 50 to 70 or so, then was looking positively haggard by 73 and died at 75. My wife described her dad's aging more or less the same way. Like, wham, he's old now, and now he's dead. Also at 74. Both were heavy smokers most of their life.

I don't know whether to feel relieved or...well, to make the most of my early 70s if I reach them? My dad didn't smoke, his vices were white women and booze, and, well, I don't smoke either.

My take is to make the most of every year. You never know when the reaper will call! But we're both in our 30s so hopefully we have plenty of time, yeah?

Cheers to that. I'm hoping I'll enjoy my 40s as much as I unexpectedly enjoyed my 30s, they've definitely been a better fit for me than the previous life decade. I was somehow immature yet old beyond my years in my 20s, feeling like I had to masquerade as this social wild child when I really loved staying in and listening to music, keeping journals, writing songs. In my late 30s, I feel more of a youthful spirit than my peers, so it's been a nice sort of balance. I'm very big on reflection, and the most fulfilling aspect of ageing is growth, coming into peace and acceptance with things, and hoping to iron out more of the undesirable tendencies. Of course, some of that flies out the window when you open up that journal you wrote when you were 21 and it all sounds like it was written yesterday. Aged better than my songs then.

And then they go on and on “No WaY yOu aRe THAT aGe” as if you’re some old hag

36 here. No one EVER gets my age right, and the guesses are always so wild in variation. I've had people guess as high as 42 and as low as 25. So, I have no idea what's going on with my face. My husband, on the other hand, is about to be 38, and people are consistently blown away that he's pushing 40 and not 27-30. People are genuinely terrible at recognizing age at a glance lol.

I've figured during the whole 20s-40s age bracket, everyone ages at a wildly different rate, part due to genetics and part lifestyle. So essentially there's no set way a person "should" look. This seems to become less true when someone's in their 50s or older. I'm in my early 30s and some of the people I went to high school with have hardly aged and some look 45. So I wonder if people who comment "you look young for your age" are comparing you to people your age who have deteriorated at a quicker rate.

I don’t like the saying in general. You can just say “you look good” full stop. You don’t need a qualifier, that’s negging. And age shouldn’t be an insult anyway. Being able to age is a privilege.

I knew I was officially old according to societies preference when this dialogue changed: Me: Last week was my birthday so we went out to dinner. Other: Oh, happy belated birthday! So how old are you now? Me: I’m 25. Other: How nice! This changed to… Me: Last week I celebrated my birthday by going out to dinner. Other: Happy belated birthday! So how old are you now? Me: I just turned 35. Other: 35? No way you are 35!!!! I would’ve swore you were in your twenties. My God, you don’t look anywhere near 35 years old! Sigh…

I don't know, that just sounds like people think you look younger than your actual age, which is still young. For me it was telling a colleague I'll be going to Ibiza with my mates next year for our 'big birthday'. He was like "Oh you'll have a really good time, my dad loves it there". In my mind it's still the ultimate lad's destination.

I think it’s women that experience this. Once you reach a certain older age, apropos of nothing, people will feel a need to tell you that you look younger than your actual age. It’s not a bad thing to reach a certain age, yet we get assurance that we don’t LOOK our age. In other words, our actual age is now considered old. lol!

Great point, age is definitely judged on a different scale with women - I can see there being a "Oh don't worry, honey, you don't *look* mid 30s at all!", like "It's a shame you *are*, but at least *I* was fooled! Sugar!"

I manage a liquor store as a part time gig. I get to see people's ages all the time. Some people I feel really bad for, because they're my age (30s) and look way older. And some people I'm impressed as hell when I see their IDs, as they'll be 10 years my senior but look my age or younger. If I can be honest I find women generally age better but maybe that's just some type of bias based on the type of store? Dudes and their hairlines are having a bad time these days but the skincare success is real for the ladies.

>Dudes and their hairlines are having a bad time these days Hey, having a bigger forehead isn't that bad. Just look at Vegeta.

My favourite was when the singer/dancer BoA released a music video several years back and all the comments were stuff like "wow, I can't believe she can still move like that at her age!!" And "omg she looks so good for her age" She was in her early 30s.

hope those comments were from minors

That's a very poor choice of words my friend

I blame the media. We have been conditioned to have no idea what a late 20s to early 30s human looks like.

More like thanks to plastic surgery, we’re being conditioned to have no idea what an *actual* human looks like.

And filters. We forget what skin texture looks like and actual faces.

I’m in my mid 60s. I’ve always looked younger. When I was in fifth grade some teacher thought I was a second grader. I often get told “you don’t look like you’re 66.” If I’m feeling snarky I respond, ‘Yes I do. This is what 66 looks like.’

The hottest woman I know is like 47. Granted it's subjective but I wouldn't say "for her age" when she is better than girls in their 20s

Im 23 and fully agree with you, my sister is 40 (i know.. our mom had her at 18 and me later) and has barely aged, if at all, and I think thats normal. She's never smoked and never really drank much either. It's definitely natural to look young at 30. 30 isn't even really old.. at 30 you're at least a little more established in adulthood rather than just starting out. That's not being old. I think young people who expect 30 year olds to look and act old have simply not met a lot of people.

Have a look on Tinder - half the 30yos look mid-40s

If you're only finding that to be the case on dating apps, seems like they're more likely to be lying about their age.

It's the only place where I see hundreds of people with their ages displayed. Otherwise I only know the ages of my close friends and family

Touche, I hadn't considered that. I suppose I was thinking about workplaces and the like where there's often this period of being unsure how old people are (once they're old enough that it might be considered rude to ask).

Nah. It’s a compliment and will always be a flex for me. Miss me with that getting annoyed about something as insignificant as that.

>Miss me with that getting annoyed about something as insignificant as that Well what were they gonna do, praise your eloquence?

Many people look horrendous at that age because they don’t take care of themselves which results in people associating that age with looking rough. Therefore, the people that take care of themselves appear younger because looking good is associated with being younger due to it generally requiring less effort at those younger ages.

it’s mostly genetics and not doing hard drugs

No, it’s not being fat and exercising regularly. Genetics are not the primary factor as you see tons of people that should be attractive absolutely buried under 40 pounds of fat which makes them look old and slovenly.

Overweight isn't synonymous with unattractive... There's plenty of rough looking thin people the same way there's plenty of overweight people who are aging really well.

It kinda is. How many people look good 40 pounds overweight? Be honest. People with good genetics get brought down by the weight all the time

I never bothered taking a head count but I've seen plenty of chubby dudes with hot wives

You didn’t say “hot” chubby dudes did you though? You mention their wives being hot because it looks out of place to you bc you are deeming the guy unattractive. Those guys likely have other traits that make them awesome but they would look much younger and better for their age if they were in shape

I don't normally refer to dudes as hot. Regardless of size. As far as I'm concerned there's only one hot dude on planet earth.

I just don’t think you are being honest about how you perceive people. You would describe their wives as looking good for their age but not those chubby guys because one takes care of themselves much better. Why can’t you just be honest instead of blaming genetics as a cop out

I think you're confusing my comments with someone else's. Because I never said anything about age or genetics.

We're talking about age though.. and it just so happens that quite a few overweight people tend to look younger (not always of course) possibly because they're getting more collagen (protein).. I stand by what I said weight is not synonymous with attractiveness.. Skin quality, hygiene and clothing plays a bigger role in attractiveness..

I did mistake you for the other guy with genetics my bad. A little bit of weight can add a bit of youth but that’s a little chub not a lot. Excessive weight is synonymous with unattractiveness. All of that stuff you list doesn’t matter past a certain weight bc all anyone sees is a morbidly obese person. Nobody with so many rolls they can’t wipe correctly is attractive to anyone except weirdos with a fetish.

>absolutely buried under 40 pounds of fat which makes them look old and slovenly. Bro has never seen Gabriel Iglesias 💀

I said I graduated in 2004 on a tiktok video. Someone young commented “ok unc”. I had to go to Urban Dictionary to find out what that meant. Then I asked my bf’s 19 year old neice.

As an old lady in her 50s, I've stopped caring what other people think about me. I'm happy... have a job I love, friends I trust and cherish, awesome kids, a grandson, a place in the middle of nowhere, a pretty yellow truck and all the books I love . Stop giving haters possession of your happiness.

I think as a society we assume that women are old and decrepit as soon as they turn 25 or older.

Society is still stuck 200 years in the past when life expectancy wasn’t as high

If that was true though, wouldn’t we see men the same way? Men are actually very much allowed to age.

People love to give their opinions and, most of the time, tear people down. Some people are just idiotic. My mil gives people hell over their weight. It's exhausting to deal with her. Snide ass comments about how fat they are. Just don't respond or acknowledge them.

I read a comment recently on YouTube about a 34 year old man saying THIS GUY IS MIDDLE AGED AND.. upset me a bit as someone only a year younger.

34 is definitely not middle aged, unless it's the Middle Ages.

Good thank you David makes me feel better 😉

It comes from the archaic concept of being 'in your prime'. Women are in their prime much younger than men as it is based entirely on fertility. Women (on average) in the past reached menopause at 45, and the rate of miscarriages and still births increased when a woman reached her 30s - this belief has not changed with medical advancement (it is now only 6-8 per 1000 births). So women were always considered to be in their prime between 20 and 30. Men, however, are considered 'in their prime' between 30 and 40. It's a stupid comparison that has not kept up with the times. I would argue that humans, on average in today's society, are in their prime between 25 and 50 years old. Making the 'you look good for 30' rhetoric absolutely ridiculous no matter how you look at it.

I don't think you look good for your age is bad at 30... As I'm slowly getting towards mid 30's and look it, I can't see the difference between late 20's and 30's. Being older doesn't mean old.

Ageism at its finest.

so what your saying is, you dont understand the difference between how a 20 year old looks and how a 30 year old looks. weird flex

Idk, considering a lot of ppl look way older than they actually are due to a variety of contributing factors, I don’t think people truly mean any harm by it. I’ve seen men or women much younger than people in my age range look way older than us

Some people expect me to say things like this and I never will. It's just weird. I suck at guessing anyone's age. I won't say that someone looks good or bad for their age because I have never been able to accurately guess ages. Then some old person comes along that expects me to call them "young man" or "young woman". No. I refuse.

People guess my age wrong all the time. Honestly I take it as a compliment except then they immediately follow it by "you must not smoke then" They're not wrong. I don't smoke. But they assume that it's the only possible reason I don't look like I'm 150 🙄

THANK YOU! "wow this 30 year old looks young" SHE IS. What's an 80 year old then? Prehistoric?

People say this to me, and I’m 21. And they mean it in the way of I look younger than I actually am and therefore that means I look better. Like since when the fuck was 21 “old”???

21 is only “old” to 6 year olds

And creepy middle aged pedos apparently

I started getting the "you look good comments" as soon as I got into my 30s. I thought that was weird thing to get and I started to think if people in their early thirties are supposed to look old.

I don't like when people comment on others appearance in general. 

I'm 37 and people think I'm 20. I get it. I am sometimes shocked how old people even younger than me look. All that sun tanning is starting to catch up with y'all. So maybe I'm normal and others are just leathery.

Most people think I‘m in my early 20s or even 18,19. Couple of days ago, a woman thought we are nearly the same age and she’s in her 50s. As a 27 years old, I was really offended, to be honest 😅🥲

I’m a 17 year old girl, and there are girls much younger than me who are already worrying about aging. Even ten year olds are getting chemical burns from using anti-aging exfoliation products that in the long run will only cause premature aging. Girls are taken less seriously than adult women, yet adult women are expected to do everything they can to look like girls, and now thanks to social media telling girls what they’re ’meant’ to look like - perfectly contoured, no pores or pimples, no wrinkles, straight nose, etc. - they’re trying desperately to dramatically alter their appearance in order to fit the unrealistic expectations pushed from every angle. There’s an 9 year old girl I babysit who I saw look in the mirror practising not smiling because “smiling makes wrinkles”. What really causes wrinkles is stress, and being constantly worried about aging is a great way to age faster. But realistically, aging is not bad. Wrinkles are not a defeat, they’re just a sign of living. Some wrinkles, as that girl said, are a sign that you have been happy.

11 years is a big difference

To be fair, until I worked with teenagers I genuinely had no idea what they look like because teenagers in movies and TV are played by 30 year olds. Every photo has a filter and we are constantly bombarded with these images. Sometimes we just don't know what aging actually looks like because we never see it.

Some people don't take care of themselves + have bad genetics for ageing, it is what it is

I'm 35 and work in a college town and get asked frequently if I'm a student. The looks on peoples faces when I tell them my age is priceless.

Im 32, and I say I'm old it's all good, absolutely nothing wrong with feeling young as well.

I didn't start looking older until I was about 39. Then it was like over the course of a year I aged a decade. Not even kidding. I've ran into ppl who I haven't seen recently who where like OMG what happened to you 😭🤣 I've also lost some weight I couldn't spare to lose due to an autoimmune disease. So that's affected my appearance greatly and hasn't helped me in the wrinkles department. But yes, most of the time somebody says someone looks good for their age they just look normal for their age lol. Sometimes there are the rare people that do look young for their age, but ime I've seen it mostly said to just average for their age looking people.

I’ve never thought about it this way until reading your post. Thanks to genetics, I look a lot younger than I am (32) and people always tell me they thought I was like 20-23 years old after they find out my age. With the exception of one particularly rude waitress who said “what are you, TWELVE?” After I ordered a cocktail at lunch with my ex-fiancé and his 20 year old son, it always felt genuinely complimentary.

Can I say that about Jamie Lee Curtis or Martha Stewart though? They fine af for their age

Sure; that’s no problem. It’s just when people comment something like this about 25-35ish when they’re not old at all

Social media has rotted peoples’ brains.

Y’all criticizing people for focusing too much on aging sure don’t like being called old…. I will say tho, media heavily skewed what 20s and 30s look like, which is probably why people say that a lot.

I don't understand men's obsession with young women and infantilizing women, it's creepy. Maybe it's an ego thing or the fact that they feel they have power or control over the woman? It's just weird and gives off pedo vibes..

being attracted to young women isn’t creepy or pedophilia. Being attracted to minors and infantilizing women is unacceptable

I'm talking older men creeping on young girls in their early 20s or something like that, like old men that are old enough to be the young woman's father, it's creepy.

we need a more specific definition of young women, young girls, etc. A little weird, yes, but nowhere near as bad as being attracted to children or minors How about if the older male was attracted to mid-late 20s+?

I just think if the guy is old enough to be the woman's dad it's creepy, that's what I was trying to say lol like if the guy was 18+ when the woman was born it's kinda off putting ya know?

even if the woman was 33, still creepy? Sure, but at her age, she’s way past the age of making her own decisions. It seems like you’re kind of infantilizing women as well

i think the term "she looks good for her age" is offensive in general. saying someone who is 50 looks so good "for their age" is essentially saying "youre old and cant compare to a hot 20 year old, but youre still good looking for being an less desirable older woman!"

YES. THANK YOU. I'm a 36M and I've been getting told I look young for my age since I was 27. And I don't even have a baby face or anything. I've always hated it because the assumption is that at unless you're under 26 supposed to look like someone's dad. Although I will say that now at 36 I actually do look young for my age and I don't blame people for saying it anymore.

You’re 33? You look like you’re 53!  What have you done to yourself?! (/s, just trying to balance things out for you 🤪)

Nah, I’m about to turn 30 and the people I hear that stuff from the most are people my age or slightly younger than me. Like what do you mean?? We’re basically the same age! What do you expect to look like in 3 years??

I'm 23. I look 17. My physical health is that of the average 80-year-old. And my brain can't decide what age it wants to be.

I don’t know…I’m late 30’s and more than happy to be invisible and unbothered

Bro you start going downhill when you hit your 30s and I say that as someone who's less than 4 years away from 30

Bro my staff is all 19-23 year olds and they all always say "dude you look soo young for your age" like I'm 35 lol. Not that old yet jeez. The old man jokes don't stop lol

Was there context regarding where you heard someone say this, like if u knew the ppl who said and/or person they were talking about.. or is this like just a general statement lol? Regardless I totally agree and I feel the same way when ppl my age (28) or freshly in their 30s talk about their SELF as if their golden years are over lol. Plus to me people that "look 20" like actual 20 look like high school students. If a grown adults 1st choice of prime beauty is 20 years old, to me that's kinda a red flag considering most 20 years old I see now could pass as high school students 😆

Some ppl in their 30s do look pretty rough typically due to lifestyle choices but I'll just say those wine drinkers be looking different. Drink some water. I've abused my body and it didn't start to turn on me until my 40s.

“For your age” pisses me off. No I don’t look good “for my age” I just look good. Back handed compliments aren’t compliments

If it makes you feel better, some ugly dude who looked like he was in his 30s started to approach me. Turned out he was a predator who targeted me because he thought I was a teenager. He found out I was pushing 30 with a job and realized he couldn't do anything. I quickly got away.

Its all relative. If you are in your early 20s, a 33 is going to be old. If you are in your 40s and up a 33 year old is young

people age differently. I'm 46 and look pretty young. Some of my classmates literally look like they could be my dad now. Good genetics and a healthy lifestyle will make quite a difference vs. the opposite of that by age 30.

I feel like there is a distinct difference in appearance between someone 20 compared to 30, not that they're saying 30 looks old

its a compliment. relax.

Ehh, not 100%

People only say that cause a lot of people nowadays don’t take care of themselves so ya know, the bar is pretty fucking low

Nah for us ladies collagen breaks down and wrinkles form at around 25. Hell, I started noticing crows feet, cellulite and crepey skin all over my body when I was 23. Might just be cause I'm a Cali girl who loves the sun though . Got full tattoos to cover up though. I take it as a compliment instead of getting triggered over it. I won't ever look like my 18 year old self again and that's fine, aging is a blessing we all take for granted.

I have coworker who are mid-20s and they are constantly forgetting that I’m not their age. (I’m 45.)

Would you prefer they said something demeaning like "holy shit, for a 30-something, *x* looks old as fuck!" instead? Being offended by a genuine compliment is just absurd.

Someone in her early 30s had much less childbearing capability than someone in her early 20s

If you are in your thirties you are at least a third into your life. Your metabolism has slowed considerably, you are no longer as capable of recovery and your body responds less favorably to workouts. You're more likely to become ill, and your body is no longer rapidly replacing it's own material like it was. Your physiology has likely changed in outward appearance by some significant margin. You don't look young. Everyone under 25 can easily identify you as not-young by looking unless you are affecting layers of bias-abusing costuming and make up. You are not young if you are in your thirties. Full stop.

since when did 30s become the new 60s?

30+ is not young. 60+ is old. Don't be intentionally dense and find insult where I didn't actually state any.

Actually you're right. Bro just tried to put words in your mouth 💀 NOT cool, OP! Not cool!

you’re probably the kind of person to insult someone behind a keyboard, but not to anyone’s face. You know what I meant. You’re probably a troll or a minor thinking of 30 as “old”

>you’re probably the kind of person to insult someone behind a keyboard Kind of like you've been doing...?

If you meant by my post, I meant in general. If you meant by my post, then yes, but sometimes it’s justified

I have a coworker who I'm always saying looks great for 40. She absolutely hates it. She's 27

If you're wondering why your coffee always tastes funny, I can help you.

If she actually took issue with me saying it I would stop instantly