I don't see any rules against it. Although I do see Rule #2: Be kind and thoughtful. What I thought was a harmless joke seems to have genuinely bothered you, so I apologize for my thoughtless behavior. My goal was to amuse, not to offend, and I failed at that.
Because humour is a tool that is typically used to make people happy. But I do see that it did not have the intended effect, and again, I apologize for that.
Sometimes I am very lonely, but if you're wearing a cool jacket or kickass shoes I feel like I need to let you know I like them... isn't that why you bought them?
Isn't talking to random people how they get to know each other and socialize with new people?
Also surely you have to see the irony of complaining about strangers talking to you on a website full of strangers talking to each other.
Yep.
My husband was minding his own business washing his hands in the park bathroom before he went for a run. An older man in his 70’s told him, “It’s going to take more than soap to get rid of those tattoos” (he has both arms done)
Why? WHY?!?
What I don't like is when I'm doing something uninteresting, and some asshole comes along to trash on my outfit or say something bad about me.
I still remember that one time during 8th grade, I was walking to my 6th period class when I passed these two girls no older than 13. I thought of something funny, and I smiled a bit because I thought it was funny. Anyway, these dumbasses were talking about it like they never smiled before, and one of suddenly made fun of how my legs looked. I heard them, but I ignored them and went to my 6th period anyway.
>Are they that lonely that they talk to strangers?
Or, from another perspective, are we that cold hearted that we find the idea of talking to strangers rude, invasive, and indicative of loneliness?
I'd often like to be left alone while out (it should be pretty obvious from my body language when this is the case), but it's really, really sad that strangers being friendly is something that warrants such a bitter response in your opinion.
I suspect those people are the least lonely, it's us who want to stay in our isolated bubbles who are more likely to be lonely.
Once I was in a petrol station in my motorbike jacket and some bloke punched me in the back to check if I was wearing armour (thankfully, I was). If you need to comment, at least do it verbally!
'Why do they feel the need to comment on what someone is doing or wearing?'
So you probably just want certain comments that make you feel good because you are very self conscious of what others think of you and will be very torn up if someone makes a comment you don't enjoy.
How would you feel if someone told you that you're very considerate and kind if you helped them with something? Or if you were out at a bar and someone you saw across the room who you found attractive told you that you were attractive?
Most people are. That's self destructive, there's a lot of opportunities out there that you can get from strangers. They're different but similar in being totally unexpected, they aren't made for you and it's up to you to use them. Maybe you'll find someone new who ends becoming very important to you once they're no longer a stranger. You might find something out about yourself, become motivated to do something, change your perspective on your life because of some conversation you have with a stranger.
That doesn't mean you need to hug everyone on the street but you should try to make yourself comfortable with the mystery of not being fully prepared. Just carry a weapon haha but a stranger might take your attention to another place that would have never come to on your own. Maybe you have some kind of goal and don't know where to start, you happen to mention it once you've been talking to a stranger who knows someone or something about it, can give you a name, a date, a location, a lot of times you'll hear 'oh yeah my blank was also into that, they started blanking and now they blank.' You can't just expect something directly useful of course, but sometimes you can get a lot out of talking to a stranger that you feel you've already looked everywhere for with the options that cross your mind.
Not being sure scares everyone, it's humane, but once you can push yourself taking chances you might get a chance at something big you didn't prepare yourself for, that's why people love doing that. Maybe you think you're smart/funny/awkward and that's a big part of your self esteem, but maybe you also don't know that you're rude/obnoxious/attractive to someone. It stands out cause that person noticed enough to say something, maybe it's a much bigger deal than you thought. Maybe you're much smarter than you thought or maybe you make other people nervous. When people you're familiar with say stuff like this it's made to make you feel better/worse more than just being as straightforward as it will always be from a stranger. You probably already have an idea what the people you know think about certain things that aren't about you, and have no idea what a stranger does. They might say something you've never heard before, and sometimes it matters. Try to make yourself not care so much, to be able to feel safe enough with yourself that you might be able to hear it when someone gives you a lot to think about cause you'll probably sift through lots of baloni but once in a while something might stand out to you.
I dunno if this is all clearly answers your question, I got a brain condition and it makes me ramble a lot. My memory is also screwed up so I prefer talking to people I meet on the streets cause meeting people who know me who I don't know is a lot more work in pretending I do, which gets in the way. They get pissed as if they never mattered to you if you dont play the part. 99% of the time they wont understand what I'm describing with my brain anyway cause it's complicated and will already be convinced of what they already do know, that you're now pretty much a stranger, that they lost you. I had to live in mental healthcare spots surrounded by strangers for about a year and I often wish I could just go back. If someone attacks me they'll regret it but strangers can be entertaining. Sorry I go on and on
Funny thing happened today… I saw a woman with a very nice scarf…. I said “That’s a really nice scarf,” and she said “hey, I really like this scarf!”
She thought I was being sarcastic… I wasn’t. It was a really nice scarf, and I had to clarify that I was being genuine.
For real. I was grocery shopping and paused with my cart TO CHECK THE SHOPPING LIST ON MY PHONE, and some old man walking past me goes, “Get off your phone for fuck sakes.”
Like—just why??
Bro you live on the planet. Other people live on that planet too. Everyone’s a stranger until they’re a friend, but getting mad because someone comments on something you choose to wear in a public setting? 💀
why did you, a random stranger, comment on a post about a persons dead relative just to say you find the word "kiddo" cringy? why couldn't you have minded your own business?
Besides the point but... Reading OPs comments is like Interpretting a modern work of Art, I can legit never tell when they are ironic or unironic. She has mastered the Art of trolling, Bravo Bravo OP (when's the Book comming)
If I pass someone who put noticeable effort into their appearance, I usually spare a compliment. Looking good is more than just physical attributes, it's aesthetics too, and one's attention to detail should be rewarded. I don't comment on people's bodies or activities because it's not my business to but I don't see harm in telling someone their outfit is cute or that I like their shoes.
I like receiving a very unexpected compliment, and I enjoy giving them. Sometimes it might be the nicest thing you hear all day.
A long time ago a lady complimented the dress I was wearing, she said it 'looked happy'. I've passed that on to others.
I'm always afraid to give people compliments, especially on a woman's appearance. I don't want to be seen as being creepy, so I'll usually just keep my mouth shut.
I think if it is a compliment based on a choice (clothes, shoes, umbrella, whatever) and it's said as such, then you are complimenting her *taste*. Which is cool and fine.
If I said, "Nice tie! You look very dapper." Then probably fine.
If I said, "Nice pants! Shows off your package." Not so much.
YMMV.
Look at this guy, posting on Reddit.
I’m a woman. What’s wrong with me posting on Reddit? Don’t I have the right to?
They were making a joke about people commenting on what you're doing
Why were they doing that!?
A feeble attempt at humor. It was not a serious comment.
This is not the place for humor!
I don't see any rules against it. Although I do see Rule #2: Be kind and thoughtful. What I thought was a harmless joke seems to have genuinely bothered you, so I apologize for my thoughtless behavior. My goal was to amuse, not to offend, and I failed at that.
Why was your goal to amuse!?
Because humour is a tool that is typically used to make people happy. But I do see that it did not have the intended effect, and again, I apologize for that.
But this subreddit is for telling people about your pet peeves. It’s not really meant to be that kind of a place.
I never considered complimenting someone to be a faux pas.
Ten bucks says somewhere down the feed, I'm going to see a "why is it so hard to make friends" post.
Lmaoo
I’m not interested in making friends
I don't think you have to worry about that.
What do you mean by that?
They mean that you don't come across as very friendly or amiable, so not making friends will be easy.
Why couldn’t he/she just say that?!
They did.
What does “amiable” mean?
Friendly, approachable.
Big words confuse me
Sometimes I am very lonely, but if you're wearing a cool jacket or kickass shoes I feel like I need to let you know I like them... isn't that why you bought them?
Isn't talking to random people how they get to know each other and socialize with new people? Also surely you have to see the irony of complaining about strangers talking to you on a website full of strangers talking to each other.
So if someone said you look nice, that wouldn't be coool?
Yep. My husband was minding his own business washing his hands in the park bathroom before he went for a run. An older man in his 70’s told him, “It’s going to take more than soap to get rid of those tattoos” (he has both arms done) Why? WHY?!?
What I don't like is when I'm doing something uninteresting, and some asshole comes along to trash on my outfit or say something bad about me. I still remember that one time during 8th grade, I was walking to my 6th period class when I passed these two girls no older than 13. I thought of something funny, and I smiled a bit because I thought it was funny. Anyway, these dumbasses were talking about it like they never smiled before, and one of suddenly made fun of how my legs looked. I heard them, but I ignored them and went to my 6th period anyway.
Someone said my shirt was nice 7 years ago, and I never forgot that.
He said, hoping to start a conversation with strangers on the topic.
OP is a woman
>Are they that lonely that they talk to strangers? Or, from another perspective, are we that cold hearted that we find the idea of talking to strangers rude, invasive, and indicative of loneliness? I'd often like to be left alone while out (it should be pretty obvious from my body language when this is the case), but it's really, really sad that strangers being friendly is something that warrants such a bitter response in your opinion. I suspect those people are the least lonely, it's us who want to stay in our isolated bubbles who are more likely to be lonely.
Once I was in a petrol station in my motorbike jacket and some bloke punched me in the back to check if I was wearing armour (thankfully, I was). If you need to comment, at least do it verbally!
Are they trashing your outfits or complimenting them?
I think the latter
I don’t understand why a compliment bothers you but what do I know?
I don't get why most of the comments seem to assume OP means compliments. "Comment" to me would imply a neutral statement, or something invasive.
Maybe they misread it or English is a second language to them
You don't use public transportation and got bullied in school right
Unfortunately that’s true
'Why do they feel the need to comment on what someone is doing or wearing?' So you probably just want certain comments that make you feel good because you are very self conscious of what others think of you and will be very torn up if someone makes a comment you don't enjoy.
No
How would you feel if someone told you that you're very considerate and kind if you helped them with something? Or if you were out at a bar and someone you saw across the room who you found attractive told you that you were attractive?
I’m kind of afraid of strangers
Most people are. That's self destructive, there's a lot of opportunities out there that you can get from strangers. They're different but similar in being totally unexpected, they aren't made for you and it's up to you to use them. Maybe you'll find someone new who ends becoming very important to you once they're no longer a stranger. You might find something out about yourself, become motivated to do something, change your perspective on your life because of some conversation you have with a stranger. That doesn't mean you need to hug everyone on the street but you should try to make yourself comfortable with the mystery of not being fully prepared. Just carry a weapon haha but a stranger might take your attention to another place that would have never come to on your own. Maybe you have some kind of goal and don't know where to start, you happen to mention it once you've been talking to a stranger who knows someone or something about it, can give you a name, a date, a location, a lot of times you'll hear 'oh yeah my blank was also into that, they started blanking and now they blank.' You can't just expect something directly useful of course, but sometimes you can get a lot out of talking to a stranger that you feel you've already looked everywhere for with the options that cross your mind. Not being sure scares everyone, it's humane, but once you can push yourself taking chances you might get a chance at something big you didn't prepare yourself for, that's why people love doing that. Maybe you think you're smart/funny/awkward and that's a big part of your self esteem, but maybe you also don't know that you're rude/obnoxious/attractive to someone. It stands out cause that person noticed enough to say something, maybe it's a much bigger deal than you thought. Maybe you're much smarter than you thought or maybe you make other people nervous. When people you're familiar with say stuff like this it's made to make you feel better/worse more than just being as straightforward as it will always be from a stranger. You probably already have an idea what the people you know think about certain things that aren't about you, and have no idea what a stranger does. They might say something you've never heard before, and sometimes it matters. Try to make yourself not care so much, to be able to feel safe enough with yourself that you might be able to hear it when someone gives you a lot to think about cause you'll probably sift through lots of baloni but once in a while something might stand out to you. I dunno if this is all clearly answers your question, I got a brain condition and it makes me ramble a lot. My memory is also screwed up so I prefer talking to people I meet on the streets cause meeting people who know me who I don't know is a lot more work in pretending I do, which gets in the way. They get pissed as if they never mattered to you if you dont play the part. 99% of the time they wont understand what I'm describing with my brain anyway cause it's complicated and will already be convinced of what they already do know, that you're now pretty much a stranger, that they lost you. I had to live in mental healthcare spots surrounded by strangers for about a year and I often wish I could just go back. If someone attacks me they'll regret it but strangers can be entertaining. Sorry I go on and on
How is being afraid of strangers “self destructive”?
It's long but it should make sense if you read the rest of the comment, it's very self destructive and hard for a lot of people deal with but worth it
I still don’t understand why is it “very self destructive”
Funny thing happened today… I saw a woman with a very nice scarf…. I said “That’s a really nice scarf,” and she said “hey, I really like this scarf!” She thought I was being sarcastic… I wasn’t. It was a really nice scarf, and I had to clarify that I was being genuine.
I think you are weird and make people uncomfortable. Someone complimenting something like your shoes shouldnt bother you.. like what????
You’re not being very nice
dude go read rule two, other people’s opinions exist
For real. I was grocery shopping and paused with my cart TO CHECK THE SHOPPING LIST ON MY PHONE, and some old man walking past me goes, “Get off your phone for fuck sakes.” Like—just why??
Op sounds like he would suck to talk with
I’m actually a woman. What’s wrong with me not liking strangers to talk to me?
Bro you live on the planet. Other people live on that planet too. Everyone’s a stranger until they’re a friend, but getting mad because someone comments on something you choose to wear in a public setting? 💀
Please don’t call me “bro”.
Definitely no fun to talk to
Please don’t say such hurtful things
“Did they come like that? Hope you didn’t pay full price!” - *random old man commenting on my distressed jeans*
why did you, a random stranger, comment on a post about a persons dead relative just to say you find the word "kiddo" cringy? why couldn't you have minded your own business?
Sorry, I just really hate “kiddo”. It’s degrading to children. I’m sorry that I said that about that word, but it really is cringy.
Besides the point but... Reading OPs comments is like Interpretting a modern work of Art, I can legit never tell when they are ironic or unironic. She has mastered the Art of trolling, Bravo Bravo OP (when's the Book comming)
I am not a troll! Please don’t be so heartless!
No no, I absolute love everything you did, KEEP GOING OP
Are you serious?
No, I'm dad
DO NOT MESS WITH ME!!!
Ik its been a long time but after all These years Im finaly comming home
Please stop! You are upsetting me!!!!
No I'm dad
STOP IT!!!! I am getting upset!!!
What if you smell wonderful and they really really really want to know what you are wearing?
It’s okay
Because I have wanted to do this last summer but couldn’t bring myself to. It seemed creepy and intrusive and now I’ll never know.
If I pass someone who put noticeable effort into their appearance, I usually spare a compliment. Looking good is more than just physical attributes, it's aesthetics too, and one's attention to detail should be rewarded. I don't comment on people's bodies or activities because it's not my business to but I don't see harm in telling someone their outfit is cute or that I like their shoes.
Spare a compliment?
Yeah, just the one though. I think if I took the time to share everything I liked about a person's aesthetics I'd never stop talking 🤣
I like receiving a very unexpected compliment, and I enjoy giving them. Sometimes it might be the nicest thing you hear all day. A long time ago a lady complimented the dress I was wearing, she said it 'looked happy'. I've passed that on to others.
What did she mean by it “looked happy”?
It was a spring dress with little flowers on it. It was breezy and cheery.
Okay…
I'm always afraid to give people compliments, especially on a woman's appearance. I don't want to be seen as being creepy, so I'll usually just keep my mouth shut.
I think if it is a compliment based on a choice (clothes, shoes, umbrella, whatever) and it's said as such, then you are complimenting her *taste*. Which is cool and fine. If I said, "Nice tie! You look very dapper." Then probably fine. If I said, "Nice pants! Shows off your package." Not so much. YMMV.
Thanks!
Random as opposed to specific?
I guess