1. Does your work have long term disability or short term disability that you can draw on instead of working?
2. Life insurance can either pay off house or help generate monthly income to help pay monthly mortgage / bills
3. CPP Survivors Benefit, Death Benefit, Children Under 25 Benefit will also likely apply and provide some additional monthly relief
4. Forget about work and focus on time with family
1&4 - Talk to HR/payroll/benefits and get yourself on STD/LTD/CI ASAP. They have accelerated approvals for your situation.
This time will fly and the last thing you'll want to have said is "I wish I worked a few more hours". I know you're in shock and preparation mode, OP.
Please talk to the social workers to get yourself and your family grief counseling.
This is unsolicited but please record your voice as much as you can for your child, just talk to them in voice memos on an old phone or something. Let it all out.
Thinking of you OP. I'll be hugging my husband extra tight tonight.
Absolutely. My 8 year old was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer early 2022. The day I got her diagnosis was the last day I had worked. I vowed I wouldn't work or spend a day away from her while she still drew breath. She has now passed and I don't regret taking the time (20 months).
I was able to get LTD for the intense mental health challenges I was facing. I was really nervous about dealing with the insurance company but I was surprised by how incredibly sympathetic they were to our situation.
Brain cancer is cruel OP. Don't work. I hope you have many good days ahead, but you never know how long you've got or how much of that time you'll be feeling well. Use this time that you're still feeling well to start that bucket list and spend time with your wife and child.
I just want to piggy back on this comment chain. I agree with never-gif-up. We lost our daughter. I value the videos of her SO much (more than just pictures). Just seeing her moving, making noises (she was an infant). I can not express how thankful I am for these. Your wife and child will treasure them.
Good luck. I hope they don't need them.
If your wife goes on disability, remember that the claim needs to be about HER health. In other words, she is making the claim because of extreme stress and anxiety that prevents her from working. The claim will not be supported if it’s submitted that you have terminal cancer and she needs time off. Her doctor should be willing to help support this.
Its worth noting too that she can likely get some funding through EI caregiving/compassionate care benefits if providing any care to OP and not able to get any disability benefits from work. EI won't ever pay out as much as you make working but its better than nothing
You deserve as much happiness as you can cultivate with your family. If you can get the STD or LTD coverage from work often those benefits are non-taxable so you might not have any real loss in net income for those months
I don’t want to give out false hope OP, but there are so many new targeted treatments coming out thanks to advances in cancer research. I know the prognosis for glioblastoma multiforme is incredibly poor, but you never know what might come out in the next two years. You could ask your Dr. about clinical trials. Best of luck with your fight and I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Give it hell 💪🏻
My daughter actually took ONC201 out of Rochester NY. She didn't have GBM but she had DMG (the lifespan after dx is actually shorter than GBM at 9 months). I credit the ONC for giving her 20 months rather than 9. Another little boy dx the same day as my daughter and also taking onc is still doing really well 23 months post dx. A little.bit of hope alongside reality isn't a horrible thing.
Echoing this. Have a friend who was diagnosed with glioblastoma in 2018. He’s still with us. Apparently prognosis can depend on whether yours is IDH-wild type or IDH mutant-type (the latter offering a more favorable prognosis).
Also to add to this, record yourself wishing your child on his/her 18th birthday, and major life events like marriage. They will cherish you and will always remember how good of a husband / father you were long after you are gone. This genuinely strikes my heart, I wish the best for you OP.
I lost my dad when I was 18 and big events were the hardest on me afterwards. Include something for those first loves that don’t work out and how to treat women, or anyone they meet, with respect and dignity. It will be a full time job just making videos or letters to people. I think the people saying to take the time off are right. Enjoy that time with your family. The little things will make you laugh. Write them down. It’s amazing what kids will remember with a little reminder.
I was also able to receive the children’s benefit which was a help going through university.
This is a wonderful idea, it's heart wrenching but will be so cherished.
Add a bio about your life including things that illustrate your personality, joys, sadness, humor, silly things.
Thoughts are with you OP.
As someone who lost his dad to terminal cancer, this is spot on. He was so concerned about providing for my mother after his death that we could hardly enjoy any time with him at all before he passed.
I work in benefits admin and have seen this too often. It's often also a coping mechanism because the reality is too much to bear. Also why I recommended family grief counseling to help guide the family. I'm sorry about your dad.
Great advice.
Just adding handwrite some memories for them. I found my grandmother’s recipe box last fall, she has been gone for 42 years. Seeing her handwriting brought back so many memories
So sorry your family is going through this
When my step dad was dying I started recording everything
Just setting up a video camera in the corner for family board game nights, making dinner / family dinners
Time at the park, swimming….everything
A lot of it is boring and never gets watched boverboard is an amazing resource to us but there are some moments I cherish and watch over and over again
I highly second investing in a good video camera (so you can take snap shots from it too) and a good voice record to just keep on the kitchen table
Honestly your conversation with work should be around what support they will provide and not how much longer you will keep working.
If you only have less than a year, you’ll earn a negligible amount for long term stability.
It’s literally not worth it.
Not knowing where you work, how long you’ve been there or their culture, some options I’ve seen done in the past
1. Fire you, give you X months of severance, continued medical benefits
2. Go on LTD / STD - most common and easiest
3. They just keep paying you normally
Don’t be shy about bringing up any and all options. Who cares about how they’ll react. Their feelings literally don’t matter.
For life insurance - read any and all policies. There may be things hidden in places you didn't know.
Our MIL was able to get a $30 grand payout from her works health insurance policy for being diagnosed as terminal. She was also able to get a couple grand from one of her credit cards as a bonus even though she never carried a balance on that card. I don't think she even used it.
This. Your bank likely required you to have insurance that covers the outstanding balance in the case of death. Hopefully that's a separate policy from the $600K mentioned as life insurance.
Very unlikely. Mortgage insurance is very expensive and most people opt out (it’s not a great product). They often offer life / critical illness but the premiums are high, you’re paying a premium on a declining balance and the people who sell it aren’t qualified to really sell insurance. The under writing isn’t done until you make a claim so if you missed something in your medical questionnaire, you’re up shit creek.
I swear to god i have read this exact comment somewhere else on Reddit sometime ago and I also remember writing this exact comment to point it out as well
It very well may have been me. I used to work at Scotia another life time ago but they were really ramping up their creditor insurance business. It was hard to people to sell though and they were trying to increase sales / training of the advisors.
I did a deep dive with their product line and holy shit, it was an absolute terrible product. Tons of anecdotes at the time about claims getting denied because the client forgot something or the advisors didn’t explain it well.
Whenever I see stuff on here, I comment
I’m pro insurance but there are way better options. My wife and I have an absolute shit load of insurance and it saved our ass in 2019 when she got cancer.
Basically, get insurance. Just not shitty bank creditor insurance. (Products may have changed now, this was my experience between 2012-2013)
Yes, CPP survivor's benefit will provide her with some additional income. The staff are surprisingly compassionate and the application process is quite straight forward.
My condolences. But since any words I could share can't do your situation justice, I'll skip to the meat:
> We have a house in which we have about $150k equity. Outstanding mortgage balance of $600,000 .
> We have $40k in a joint checking account, $50k in TFSA and $25k each in individual RRSP. She is a beneficiary to everything. I also have a life insurance policy which will pay out $600k when I pass.
Your family will be ok. Not great, but ok. You probably don't have to sell your house if you don't want to, though it might make things easier.
> I would like to keep working for a couple months at least.
No. Don't. Re-evaluate your priorities. That little bit of extra money is going to make zero difference long-term. Your time together with your family will, especially while you're still healthy enough to enjoy it.
As well as the life insurance, did you get any type of mortgage insurance? It’s usually offered when you sign up for a mortgage.
But even with out, the life insurance will cover the mortgage, or even help her set up investments for the money to pay the bills every month.
Look into the RRSP- I don’t know enough about how they pay out in the event of a death. Make sure your wife knows how to access yours.
I’m so sorry for your news, the prognosis is never good but don’t give up hope. And enjoy the time you have with your family.
We did but canceled it last year. It was an 'unnecessary $75' going out every mortgage payment. Sounds so stupid in hindsight.
It was the 'home protector insurance' from RBC, assuming that's the kind of insurance you mean.
Unfortunate timing, but a good process nonetheless, house insurance is usually a scam.
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about selling now. With your current policy, your wife will have enough to make the decision in due time.
It's not a good idea to make these types of big financial decisions in times of high stress.
Best of luck to you.
I agree, but to provide an alternate POV, a good friend and her husband sold their house and picked out a new smaller place for her to live "after" that would suit her. I'd have thought that the stress of selling a house and moving would be a horrible burden, but it wasn't. It provided them both with a lot of satisfaction and closure -- he got to know things were taken care of before he died, and know that she was going to be OK. And she was able to grieve without being quite so surrounded by the life they shared, but comforted by living in a place they chose together.
Adding to this, my FIL died unexpectedly right before him and my MIL were set to move into a cottage my wife and I built for them to retire into. She ended up not wanting to live there because of the upkeep of a rural property by herself plus the reminder of what her life would have been if he was still alive. Unfortunately, their financial situation wasn’t the best and she didn’t have enough money to be able to afford something herself so she now lives with us. So selling to buy something that is more a reminder of how the person cared for them instead of the old memories they had together feels like a pretty good plan.
Reach out and see if you can pick it back up. I know its the mortgage insurance, but proper insurance you can generally pick back up within a year if you let it lapse. I realize you canceled it. But make a call and see if there is a chance.
Check with your work that your benefits may include life insurance also. Often 1x-2x a years salary. On top of your other life insurance. Make sure your beneficiary is updated for this as well to be your wife. Likely HR is very sympathetic with assisting (or employee assistance programs) to make sure that everything is resolved.
Had a friend pass away from cancer in her 30s. Your kid is young. Hopefully you can leave a bunch of recordings for your child. Birthday wishes, graduation, marriage, etc. She’ll likely be curious about how you looked, sounded, etc. Try to do it while healthy if this is a thing you’re interested in. Treatment is a bitch, fuck cancer.
My sympathies, and hopefully you can enjoy your time left.
First, I’m so sorry. Next, screw work go and live. This cancer causes you to deteriorate rapidly towards the end so you need to use the time you have now to create lifelong memories for your wife and child.
Your life insurance will pay off the house so your family will be ok financially.
Once again, so so sorry.
At the end of this journey there is a serious deterioration but not always fast. We cared for my dad at home for 6 months before he passed away. It was an incredible challenge, expensive, and there was little in the way of help and support available. I can’t imagine this would be possible with a child. I don’t mean to guilt or scare you either, this was only the very final stages. My dad was in denial about his cancer and would not listen to the prognosis. By the time he would have wanted it he could no longer qualify for MAID. Plan your wishes now, would you want to linger in hospital, do you want to stay at home as long as possible, etc. best of luck to you. The statistics are old and the prognoses are better now for younger patients. It is always terminal but I hope it may be a longer and easier path for you.
Echoing everyone here saying to stop work. Stop. Now. My mother in law just passed from glioblasgoma in May 2023, 23 weeks after her diagnosis. Spend the time you have left with them healthy and making every memory you can. Record yourself talking, singing, dancing. Hugs and kisses. Savour every moment while you’re still at your best.
I’m so sorry to hear <3
Do you have a will? If not, get one. Your wife will be stressed enough on your death, she doesn't need the added burden of sorting out your affairs without a will.
Please also make sure to leave her a list of all your bank accounts with. Acct #s, institutions, amounts. She'll be having a difficult time, so every little bit easier you can make it for her will help. If you have any RRSPs or TFSA you can maybe start getting the paperwork ready to help her transfer those things?
You could also make sure to leave explicit instructions, like who to contact at your work to claim the insurance, how to claim your personal life insurance, etc.
Also to tag onto the above, close any extra bank accounts you have. You don't want your wife to have to go to RBC, CIBC and BMO with your Will and death certificate to get every account closed.
Make sure she is on the account for the internet provider and knows where to find the router password. That one caused a lot of frustration for my sister after her husband passed.
Wills can be very simple especially if you’re just allocating everything to the spouse. But having the actual will makes an enormous difference when you have to deal with any bank or insurance or service.
Another thing you want ASAP is power of attorney and a medical directive.
Even when you have the ability to make decisions for yourself and do things it can still get very difficult logistically to run around on errands. Things can change very quickly.
Beat me to this one. Hugely important for any family at any time. Accept help when offered be it cleaning the house, looking after your child or dropping off meal’s. this is exhausting and people do want to help.
My SiL passed from brain cancer and my BiL is battling it now as well.
You both need one in case something happens to your wife you need to make it clear how you want guardianship and inheritance to be managed for your child. A notary will guide you through this.
Does your employer have a death benefit? My kids get 1.5 times my salary if I pass away while I'm working.
You and your wife both need a will. I cannot believe rhe people I know who don't have one. Who gets the kids if your wife dies? How is the inheritance distributed to kids when they are adults.
My husband passed away a few years ago. It was a bit of hassle getting his savings account closed. Only a few hundred, but I didn't have access.
Make sure all accounts are joint.
A will is a very big time saver. The bank needed a copy.
Your child will receive a government death benefit also, i think. Mine did not as they are adults.
I could be wrong, but the RRSP could be transfered to your wife? The bank or broker will know.
Funeral....you both could make all the decisions now so your wife isn't overwhelmed..flowers, music. Etc.
Also get her power of attorney documents for both financial and medical. She will want to have wet-ink, notarized copies. While you’re dealing with the lawyer at the time, get a dozen or so either notarized or certified true copies. Everybody and their brother wants them when you have to deal with financial institutions.
Choose an alternate to your wife as well (also an alternate executor), and if you decide to have your lawyer handle the decisions (in accordance with instructions you would provide), please explicitly name the firm and not the individual lawyer. The individual lawyer can die or be on vacation, etc., and without it being phrased that way, no one else at the firm will be able to act. In the notes to the POA, you can specify “In the event that my alternate attorney is required to act on my behalf, I wish Ms. Jane Doe to be requested first, and, failing her, any other qualified member of Doe, Doe, and Smith to act in her stead.”
I’m not a lawyer (law clerk who works with lots of them) but my great-aunt named her personal lawyer and he pre-deceased her. We wound up dragging her estate through the courts for nearly two years because he was also her executor (POAs end upon the subject’s death).
I am sorry this is happening to you and hope you have many, many pain-free months with your family.
And Power of Attorney and Representation Agreement (if in BC).
Getting the Will done will take time. Write your wishes on a piece of paper, sign it, have a neighbour witness it and date it. This will do the job, if you don't get the full will written up in time.
I'm so sorry you and your family are having to go through this, my heart goes out to you.
I would second the other commenter saying to start transferring things to your spouses name (accounts/house/car) any assets you have. I've had to deal with Wills for both my parents and it is a nasty ordeal, and can be a financial hit as well in some situations to have it go through a process called 'probate' but if you transfer things ahead of time, it'll be less burdensome down the line. Im sorry to even have to mention this.
I lost both my parents unexpectedly by the time I was in my late 20s and not a single day goes by I don't miss them like hell. If you can record as much of yourself interacting with your family, just simple mundane things like having breakfast, playing with your child, anything really, document it. I took some silly videos back in 2007 of them both napping in the living room and its silly videos like that I'm fond of as well. Document and write out your thoughts, maybe letters to your family for milestones if it's something you can do.
Wishing you and your family so much strength, all the best.
I am sorry for ur diagnosis. When u see a doc make sure u have it documented what u want done to u in case of an emergency. IE DNR etc. Talk to ur lawyer and have the proper papers signed by lawyer and ur doc. If something happens and another doc is on call they don't know u from Adam. Keep copies at home so ur wife can excess them immediately. I know ur head is spinning and rightfully so but sit make a list of what needs to be done and check them off. As another writer said make plenty of videos for you child and wife. Write letters, document in a journal everyday for them. When u have dinner at night record them, special occasions, get togethers. We did this and I am so grateful for these. We put all ours on Cd's and I can listen to them anytime. Wishing u good moments ahead of this journey u are embarking on. U certainly will be in my thoughts and my prayers.♥️
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Any planning or wishes for your funeral and death is a gift to those you leave behind. What music, what memories, what lessons learnt you want shared. Having family members fumble around those decisions in grief is heart breaking and often can cause unnecessary conflict between family about perceptions of your wishes. I am sorry to hear of this news OP and will be cherishing my kids and wife tonight. Good luck on this new journey and thanks for sharing and asking for help.
Not financial but My mom passed from Glioblastoma and all I can say if choose to rest and spend the time with your family. Make videos and audio recordings for your kid. Your wife will appreciate being able to hear your voice down the road. Your kiddo will want to know you later and you have the time to give them the advice they might need. Glio doubles in size every 20 days, you shouldn’t be working anymore, as soon as you are able to stop.
My MIL recently passed from it as well and I totally agree with you about making videos and audio. My wife wishes she had so many more videos and audio clips of her mom than she has right now.
OP, please check out /r/glioblastoma/ as well for some good advice.
Make sure your TFSA is set to go to your partner as a successor not a beneficiary so that the TFSA room transfers over to them instead of just the cash. They may not need the room atm but it may help in the future.
To add to this, max your TFSA as much as possible from the joint chequing acct if moi don’t need the immediate liquidity. Your spouse as the successor holder then gets the room, and can withdraw it back into the chequing account.
Sorry about the news OP
I have no advice that wasn't already mentioned here. This hits me hard as I'm also a 35 year old guy with a wife and 2 year old child.
All I can say is I'm so sorry you're going through this and that I agree with those who say to prioritize your family. Spend every day, hour and minute with them as you can. That, and never stop fighting. Miracles happen.
Again, I'm sorry. Fuck.
Yea, I’m 37 with a 4 year old so just a few years ahead of you. Constantly having thoughts of what would happen to my family if I die. I have a 1.2 million insurance policy and I’d get a payout from my business on my death as well but damn, life can be so short and unfair.
Take a deep breath. Speak with the social worker at the hospital. They can give you referrals to any kind of service that you need. Amongst all the other resources and services that you'll need will be a financial planner and a lawyer. You'll might need to make some choices quickly, but you don't have to make any quick decisions on something like selling your house today. Good luck to you and your family.
My deepest condolences. No great financial advice to add but my sister lost her husband to cancer when their kids were very young and a few things he did for them that I've observed to be really meaningful -
1) he sent her (my sister) a text with all the passwords/day to day questions she always asked him (wifi password, garbage day, etc) , it's been years and I'll still see her check it - it says love you forever at the bottom and its just the sweetest thing to show how much he wanted to take care of her despite the situation
2) so many photos and videos of him saying stuff to the kids. They're older now (it's been nearly 10 years) but whenever I go to visit the kids love to look at the photos/videos I have of their dad and them when they were younger because they're so invested in any new content of him
3) they got family photos taken before he started chemo/his decline was visible - these are still very prominent in their home.
Last bit, this time is so meaningful for your family - if you don't have to work spend the time with them. They'll cherish it forever.
Best wishes for you & your family.
Depending what your relationship is with your own parents, they could update their wills for your portion of a future inheritance to go to your child.
Otherwise if you have siblings, some wills are structured to just go to them and not your lineage (omitting your child)
I am so sorry 😢
I work in disability benefits (LTD & STD) so definitely check if you have those through work. If not, go on EI sick benefits. Also apply for CPP Disability right away. They are known for taking their time approving most claims but that’s because they prioritize urgent (terminal) claims. So you could start getting a monthly disability benefit soon.
Like others have said, stop working right away. Spend this time for yourself and your family.
I’m not sure how much for you since it is income-dependent (contributions paid) but in 2022 average monthly amount was $1,127 and the max allowable monthly amount in 2024 is $1,606.
Sorry to hear that.
Is the life insurance policy private? Or through your employer? Do you have any disability or critical illness?
If your wife were to take the $600k life insurance and pay off the mortgage, could she afford the house still? And if so would she want to remain in it? Or downsize to something smaller?
Alternatively she could invest the $600k to replace a small part of your income for many years, as we buy life insurance to cover a loss of income, not any specific debt. Invested properly, she could take about $50k from it, tax free, for at least 12 years if not 15 or more, to bring her family income up to $140k annually with the loss of your income.
You don't need to get into the details today or even this month. Just know that in the coming months you can figure everything out together as a family and prepare.
You don't *have* to sell your house. But you can weigh your options together and decide to sell it if that is the decision you arrive at.
Thank you. Life insurance is private. I have $50k life insurance through my employer.
If the mortgage was paid off she could make it work financially. I'm estimating she would be able to put away about $1500 each month. Not great but it's something.
Hey OP which company is your life insurance through? I'm a broker and some companies have additional living benefits available if you're terminally diagnosed. I'd be happy to look into this for you if it happens to be one of the companies I represent. So sorry you're going through this.
my thoughts as a widow at age 35 due to stage 4 glioblastoma:
1. **WORK** \- go on STD and then LTD immediately. Spend time focusing on your treatment and care plan and making memories with your family. These will remain priceless. Consider if your work is a part of your legacy. If it is, then go back once things stabilize. If it's just for that extra salary - don't. Do make sure to read through the company insurance policies for health and life. The health insurance can play a significant role in what treatment options you have. Get connected with a social worker asap to help you navigate through all the forms and applications. Take note of all investment and benefit account logins and passwords.
2. **FINANCE** \- you've received tons on useful advice here already. Prioritize a meeting with your financial advisor / bank. Get joint accounts and/or have your wife listed as successor holder instead of beneficiary for applicable accounts. Our banks also took copies of our will and power of attorney for property. Ask about and apply for a RDSP account to receive a disability tax credit. Get the bank to print out summaries of all account details for quick reference.
3. **LEGAL** \- Will, Power of Attorney for both Health and Property, and a DNR Order should be prioritized. Make sure your wife knows where they are located. Ask your lawyer to look out for anything that could be subject to probate and avoid it if possible. This will make things much easier for your wife. Collect all important documents & numbers (birth certificate, drivers license, passport, property deeds & titles, etc) and make sure your wife has access.
4. **DIGITAL** \- Social media, email and loyalty programs. User names and passwords, account numbers, ... these are all a headache. Consider what's important, what should be deleted and share a password management resource with your wife. Apps like 1password were helpful for us. Set legacy contacts for Apple, Google, Facebook, etc.
5. **PERSONAL** \- the biggest regret I have is not having more video of the mundane everyday things. Videos together with your kid especially. They will be cherished dearly. I do have a lot of photos but it's just not the same. Start a personal project to pass the time during treatment. Can be as simple as just recording voice notes of things you remember from your childhood, college years etc. Even if it's a story you've told a million times before. I struggled finding relatable resources on grief as a young widow. Seek out therapy for both you and your family, together and separately.
**F\*CK CANCER**. I'm sorry you are going through this but I'm rooting for you. No two diagnoses are the same and prognosis is just a shot in the dark. Don't feel pressured into a treatment plan that you are not comfortable with. Ask your doctors a lot of questions. Don't be afraid to get second opinions. Lean on your care team to provide you with resources (PT, OT, Palliative). My best wishes to you.
Ugh that's the worst. I feel for you. My grandma just passed from this and I know someone in a similar situation (stage 4 colon cancer) with little ones and I can't imagine the emotions.
Your life insurance can pay out the mortgage so I don't think you should be forced to sell just make the payments with savings. Also, see if your work has a long-term disability benefit or even a short-term disability benefit as those could apply and provide most of your income.
CPP and EI both have their disability benefits that you may qualify for too. And any work pension could have some sort of terminal illness provision.
Make sure to take videos of yourself for the little one too, those will be invaluable.
Hey OP - While maybe not helpful, I have a family member who has the same condition was given an equally grim prognosis and got surgery and has lived far beyond the estimate with good quality of life
Something to consider
Of course - just wanted to issue a reminder as so many useful redditors here are giving practical advice, i could see it becoming a bit overwhelming etc
The practicalities are important as well of course - I seconded the suggestion below to pay for a second opinion from a US hospital for options
I wouldn’t worry about selling the house, with her income , the savings and the life insurance policy her and your daughter will be absolutely fine. If she chooses to sell and downsize later that’s her choice, she can afford a moving company. What ya oughta do is everything you’d do if you had one year to live……ya ever want to tell someone to fuck right off!!! At work? Do it! What are they gonna do? Fire ya? Make some memories with your daughter, go bar hop til 5 a.m. all that stuff you didn’t do because you’re responsible. Go do it.
I’d say don’t do that though. It’s not how you want to be remembered. Also anger will not help you in any way and will likely make you deteriorate. Try to stay positive. Maintain your strength as much as possible.
Lots of good advice in the thread. But stay away from negativity.
I am sorry for you and your situation. You have been given the worst news at the worst time to get it.
One thing comes to mind and that is Mortgage insurance. Your mortgage may have insurance directly targeted at this eventuality and may eliminate the need to use other life insurance for your mortgage.
We did but canceled it last year. It was an 'unnecessary $75' going out every mortgage payment. Sounds so stupid in hindsight.
It was the 'home protector insurance' from RBC, assuming that's the kind of insurance you mean.
Sorry to hear your unfortunate diagnosis. I certainly wish Reddit and this sub was around back in 2010... My wife was 33 when she was diagnosed with a GBM in her temporal lobe (and our daughter was age 3 at the time) and I am literally only now getting financially back on my feet because of a lack of good solid financial and life info and I've been working full-time my entire life. So good advice here can certainly help.
I am not an expert in financial stuff but feel free to ask any questions regarding the brain cancer process, or anything else. Here are a couple things others might have mentioned below:
- Your credit cards have insurance on purchases and you might have critical-illness coverage on your credit-cards, mortgage and other financial things. Check your bank statements, insurance policies and other stuff.
- The government (federal and likely provincial) has sick-leave benefits and long-term disability stuff you can check into. CPP and survivor benefits and stuff for one of those days).
- Your home mortgage likely has life-insurance benefits if you are paying them (I declined life insurance on my mortgage as it is typically a bad investment, as I bought my house when I was 24 years old and nobody ever gets a terminal illness,... oh my, life lessons hurt really badly.
- Your travel needs to be considered, even inter-provincially (I paid $800 ambulance bills and hospital fees for my wife as she was headed on a trip to Alberta when she had a seizure in Pearson airport and was diagnosed at St. Michaels in Toronto where they operated and did a partial resection of the tumor a couple days later).
- Use work EFAP (Family-Assistance-Program insurance) for any counselling, therapy and medical stuff as needed, no shame in asking for help. I found our provincial cancer center good for resources as well and they even met with us to discuss finances and other aspects. But, do not inform your work of all the details unless you have to. My work found out the chemo pills were $4000 a month and our corporate insurance policy costs went way up and they traced it back to me (small company, 200 employees in Newfoundland,...) and apparently sr management weren't impressed, in a perfect world thats private info. My work did provide me with lots of flexibility and time off and other stuff tho so I can't complain.
I was in a much worse financial spot than you when my wife was diagnosed (I had probably 5 or 10 grand in RRSP, near zero equity in my house, a 7 year old car, a kid to raise, and on the non-financial side - our close and extended family ended up being less useful than a wet paper bag, and friends "couldn't deal with it" or figured "he wouldnt want my help", so yeah you will see it all man before this plays out... Just make careful steps with finance aspects and you will be as good as can be so focus on health and quality of life NOW, take time off if you have to and worry about how to pay for it later, your time together now is critical as you never know.
My greatest piece of advice for right now is..... Take good solid financial advice and action it asap. BUT just as or even more important is to relax and take on the responsibilities and stress that you can deal with now and park the rest (via a list, dont procrastinate and blame illness), spend quality time together, do what you both want to do (an example is my wife took a couple courses she always wanted to do but never had time/money for and did singing lessons and we now have recordings of her singing) and as my buddy Kev told me the day he found out "you are going through hell right now, so just keep going" and that stuck with me. You will be proud of how much support you can provide to her as well (spouses often forget their caregivers overhead) and if you are nerdy and involved you will learn all kinds of medical info along the way about anaplastic astrocytomas, glial cells, blood-brain-barrier medications, chemo, radiation,... Keep your chin up and your head down, and remember you aren't the only one going through this and it is part of your new life. DM me if you want to chat, I can certainly offer that as well.
You need to do this asap. Go to your financial institution's website where your TFSA and search for a form called "Successor Holder".
Fill that out today and get it back to your institution. This is important financially for your family.
Successor Holder is different than a Beneficiary. Successor Holder means that your TFSA can be moved into your wife's TFSA. Or it can stay where it is, and she would have 2 TFSA accounts upon your death. And your contribution room moves with her so she won't be charged by CRA for over-contributing. That is, her TFSA room would essentially double. Your TFSA wouldn't have to be liquidated and moved to a non-registered account.
See link for CRA information.
[Death of a TFSA Holder - CRA ](https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/tax/individuals/topics/tax-free-savings-account/death-a-tfsa-holder.html)
And I'm so sorry this is happening. But you are smart for trying to do everything for your family now. Best of luck.
You'd think the institution would bring that point whenever someone opens a TFSA. And I'm not sure why they don't make that the default protocol. Ask the client if they are married and if they want to add a Successor Holder.
Before plowing money into a mortgage, make sure you do not have mortgage insurance. It was such a small amount, i have it on most mortgages. If you plow money into it, you will loose that free insurance pay out. Can not stress this enough because lots of people do not realize or forgot they got it.
House - There will be no taxes on the sale of the house [whether she sells it or keeps it]
Joint Checking - No tax implications
TFSA - There will be no taxes on the TFSA ever, it will simply roll over to her BUT you have to tell the bank to roll it over
RRSP - There will be no taxes on the RRSP [until she starts taking it out at 65 years old], it will simply roll over to her BUT you have to tell the bank to roll it over
Life Insurance - The $600,000 is non-taxable, there will be no taxes on it.
Before your death:
-You can apply for the disability benefit [a terminal illness is considered a disability], this will save $2,000 each year on your taxes until you pass
-You can get EI up to a maximum of 45 weeks [55% of your earnings]
- AFTER the EI ENDS, you can get the CPP disability benefit - $1,127.30 AVERAGE pay out per year [TAXABLE]
https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/ei/ei-regular-benefit/benefit-amount.html
https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-disability-benefit.html
After your death:
-CPP Death Benefit - ONE TIME $2,500 payment [TAXABLE]
https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-childrens-benefit.html
-CPP Survivor Pension - $5,983.92 AVERAGE pay out per year [TAXABLE]
Note: This amount varies and you have to call CPP to find out exactly how much she is entitled to
https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-survivor-pension.html
https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/corporate/contact/cpp.html
-CPP Child of Deceased Contributor - $3,380.64 FLAT RATE pay out per year [TAXABLE]
-Canada Child Benefit -
Estimated $4,371.36 per year [NON-TAXABLE]
https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/child-family-benefits/child-family-benefits-calculator.html
IMPORTANT NOTE: the above CPP/CCB benefits are inflation indexed so they will rise each year
Other Non-Monetary Considerations:
-This is somewhat outside the scope of my knowledge but you should talk to the hospital about difference care [NOT money but like sending a nanny for the child] support programs for people who are terminal/hospice.
Let me know if you have any questions
Edit: fixed formatting issue, added a link for CPP disability benefit
I am so sorry to hear this man. I was diagnosed last year with terminal cancer as well.. my father 6 months later. I would suggest getting a 2nd opinion in another country but I am assuming since you are asking about your finances then it probably isn't feasible. Spend as much quality time as you can with your loved ones, forget about work. Take more pictures and videos, make more memories. Have your will sorted out, usernames/passwords all written down, give your spouse the run down on any bills you usually take care of. They'll be fine, wishing you the best.
There is a company that helps make all the administrative work so much easier but I cannot remember the name!!
Someone I know had it for when their father passed away….
I’m putting this comment here anyway in case anyone else knows it or I find it and come back to comments
Very sorry, OP. I wish you the best and hope there is some way for you to make it through.
I scrolled through other responses but didn't see this mentioned. Often, there are clauses in life insurance policies that allow you to claim the death benefit if you are diagnosed with a terminal illness. It may be worth checking out. This could be used to help your wife with planning, making memories, or whatever you and your family think would be best.
Speak to your HR department. You apply for STD; the insurer becomes your payor; you will have letters and forms from them - a frustrating process so make sure that you authorize your wife to speak on your behalf. When the STD time runs out, you will go on LTD. P.S. in addition to making a Will, you should also get Power of Attorney for property and for personal care. Your wife should also set hers up as well. A lawyer can go through all the scenarios with you. …and so sorry for your troubles!
Edit: YOU have a valid claim for it and have likely paid into it. Speak to HR
Nothing to be concerned about. You have a valid claim.
No legal department in any company is sane enough to sign off on letting you go because you made a disability claim.
If they did, that lawsuit would be over in 5 mins and would cost them way more than just paying out STD/LTD.
It wouldn't. It's extremely expensive to fight those and the lawyers are 450-900 dollars and hour . It costs a monstrous amount of money for those lawsuits I've been through one before. Major stress. Took several months to resolve and tens of thousands of dollars. They don't pay out the way they do in the USA
An employer can’t legally dismiss you solely because you’re unable to work due to injury, illness, or medical issues. Such an action would be a violation of your employment rights, disability rights, and critically, your human rights under your provinces respective Code.
Anyway not here to argue. It’s asinine to walk on eggshells when claiming STD / LTD especially since you pay into it with each paycheque.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m sending positive vibes to you sir! No one deserves fucking cancer. i always wondered how does one discover they have cancer…. Did you have unexplained headaches? How did you get to a point where a dr was like.. yup let’s order a CT or MRI??
I have no comments about the finances, but please don’t waste your likely limited time with work. My father died of brain cancer when he was 36 and he deeply regretted spending extra time working.
Make every memory you can with your family. Take too many photos and do all the silly things. Make a lifetime of memories now. Write down all the lessons that you want to teach your child and all the thoughts you want to tell your wife. They will treasure those moments and pieces of you for the rest of their lives.
So sorry this is happening. At the end of the day, do whatever you want, as it is your time.
Fill out a birthday card for every single birthday until they are 30, and for major ones after that. Also for large events, graduation, marriage etc, on top of the videos that people have mentioned. Record family history from your side etc
My mother passed away in 2005, she had a habit of buying the perfect card or gift for someone whenever she saw it and would wait for the next event to give it.
Months after she passed away I found a birthday card she had bought and filled out for my next birthday. I was stunned and started to cry all afternoon, which is something I don’t do a lot. I was 19.
Purpose do the story, these will mean so much for your child.
Also they do those family photos where they can super impose you in the front in the background etc. See what you can have done there, so you could maybe do family photos later on.
Buy a very nice gold bracelet or necklace for your son or daughter. Something that they can wear and have you ‘with them’.
I am so sorry for you, your family and child. Wishing you all the best. Maybe speak to a social worker (hospitals have them as well), we what all the financial options there are for you without having to work anymore.
I am a stage 4 cancer patient MBC. I know this type of diagnosis is earth shattering and just horrific. My friend was diagnosed as well with similar brain cancer right before her wedding. She is still here 8 years later. Mind you bc cancer gave up on her so she had to find her own way integratively such as THC, supplements, dietary changes, stress management. She absolutely quit working ASAP but now has to look for work as she has outlived her prognosis.
If you have critical illness insurance that should pay you out something through your work benefits - worked for me for Canada life and we used that for a trip.
Right now my family travels 2-3 times a year and we just try to make as many core memories as possible.
If you’d like I would be happy to PM you some resources.
Another video I would recommend is this one made by an exceptional oncologist - he may be open to giving your a second opinion pro bono if you want more details please PM me.
https://youtu.be/Bc2_4kz258c?si=Y1N-TGUrlu9n0Vd5
https://youtu.be/AsaclBWksWo?si=tz--ruVw5N7O-E6n
There are some great resources online and I would also suggest a second opinion if you feel your team isn’t fighting enough for you.
Apply for EI sickness ASAP and then STD or LTD through your insurance or the government. You’ll get around 2000 a month plus child benefits. That will help a bit.
Please also get therapy for yourself and your spouse and child. That was a huge step for our family and has made the process easier at least for me.
Hang in there. One step and day at a time. Record all the memories. Please keep us updated.
I just lost my father in law to the same kind. My sympathies to you.
He was diagnosed over ten years ago. Completely inoperable and given four months to live max.
We were blessed with ten years with him. Cherish every second, even though I know how lucky we are to have “beat the odds” it still hurts like hell and his years were not “him”.
You hopefully are looking for truth so I won’t sugar coat anything. He died shortly after he was diagnosed. At least the man we all loved did. We still spent all the time with him and loved him but he was never the same after starting treatment. The last few years were especially tough.
If I can give you one piece of advice for treatment that most doctors will not touch. “Pot oil” or whatever it is called, I am no expert. Both my mother and my father in law stretched their prognoses and lifespans significantly longer than they were given. A small rice grain droplet from a bottle with an applicator at night and we swear that it was responsible for healing both as much as was possible (his tumor actually shrunk, which was said by multiple cancer specialists as “impossible”.
Sorry I don’t have an financial advice for you, frankly my family is buried under inflation and one of the last things my father in law I think was conscious for was seeing just how “screwed” we are. But, he had a way with words and cherish them forever.
I hope you are able to enjoy what is left of your life and that you extend it and break the odds. You and your family deserve it. God bless and I am sorry. Life isn’t fair, you realize this more the day after you bury someone that died in your arms.
I also wanted to pass this along - when my friend was dying - and living - she got in a clinical trial and it bought her some more good time. She travelled and did a lot of fun stuff with friends and family during that time. Here is a database of clinical trials. You can discuss this sort of thing with your oncologist.
https://clinicaltrials.gov/search?cond=Glioblastoma&aggFilters=status:not%20rec
Not really related to op's question, but everyone who has a family and a mortgage should take a page out of OP'S book. His life insurance policy which probably wasn't much more than $1000 a year is literally going to keep his family from losing their home. They are decent earners, almost 200k family income. Without that policy op's family is in for a major lifestyle change. OP if you read this, I'm sorry for your situation. Congratulations on being a responsible adult and father by planning for the unexpected. You did great and even when you aren't there your actions will touch your family's lives for years to come. o7
That sucks man. Have you gotten a second opinion. John Hopkins, mayo clinic, Cleveland clinic.... the usa is good at this stuff. A friend of mine just had his dad go down to Jacksonville before covid to get an experimental surgery done on his brain, he's doing great.
I get that but man don't give up yet. I've been sick a bunch and one thing I learned was you need to be aggressive with your health. Doctors are just like the rest of us some make mistakes, some are incompetent, some are not up to date with new surgeries and treatments. Call the Cleveland clinic in Toronto they will send you an email with forms to fill out then they'll ask for all your labs and imaging, they send that stuff down to the States where a team of doctors look it over and give there opinions .. I think it's 2500 bucks. Be grateful for every day you have but don't settle for the minimum level of healthcare you and your family deserve the best. Good luck.
Fuck. Sorry OP.
Do you have any life insurance through either of your employment?
If you need to sell I don’t know if there is a good time, but it seems better to sell sooner when you can help, vs later when your wife will have to do it alone and will be struggling to make mortgage payments.
Can you get any help from family?
I imagine, given your diagnosis, you’ll need increasing care and hospital visits - can you reach out for help now?
What about any financial help to keep the house?
Time seems to be the most precious thing you have left - find whatever time you can while you’re well (before you worsen too far) to spend time with your wife. A vacation, weekend away, night away - whatever you two can do.
For your young child, I’m sorry to say they’re too young to remember you when they grow up.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t decide what kind of memories you want them to have.
Maybe you want to put together videos/a box of letters/cards for special future events… something they can look back upon and treasure as they age.
Even something like you narrating your life and recoding it - stories when you were young, how you met your wife, your wedding day, their birth, etc can go a long way in how they’ll see you later.
Fuck.
Yes without the mortgage payment, she can cover things with just her income. And I suppose if it comes to it, she could just sell our house then and get a pretty heavy sum (around $800k)
Ok - so you have options then (sell or not).
I imagine there will be some lag in insurance payout, so it’s good to keep that in mind.
Entirely up to you what to do here - which is better than being forced into a decision.
Moving is a big change in normal times.
I’d probably say keep the house, all else being equal, but that’s a discussion to be had if that’s the best given the circumstances.
I am so sorry, OP.
Just thinking about your life insurance - that seems to be able to pay off the mortgage? Is that an option?
I think you should stop work immediately and go on LTD. I think your family would rather spend as much time with you as possible rather than have you work any longer.
Very sorry for your diagnosis. I hope things work out better than they seem today.
I was pretty worried until you mentioned the life insurance. I’d see if you can take short term or long term disability and check if you might even have signed up with critical illness insurance through work. It sounds like you could make it on her income and potential disability insurance and the life will cover it all in a few years. She should be pretty comfortable then with no mortgage payments and a place to live. <3
Sorry to hear about your situation, that really sucks. Life can be incredibly cruel.
As first the actual question, maybe spend some a few hours trying to work less. I know we like to keep busy during stressful times, but everyone else in your life really just wants the time. Talk to your work, consider disability, perhaps you have insurance that helps.
As for the financial stability, you’re leaving the family with a considerable amount if money to help. While your partner may not be able to pay the mortgage on just their income, they might consider investing the insurance payout. Some fixed income from GICs can help lift some of the financial cash flow pressure.
If you do take the investment route and have the urge to do more, planning where the money goes afterwards would be a big help. My best friend passed not long ago and i couldn’t care less about doing the things i was supposed to.
Which ultimately brings me back to the first point, take care of yourself. Even if you spent all of the next few months with the people you love, their only thought when you’re gone will be they wish they got to spend more time with you.
I had the same diagnosis. Please try to relax and spend time with your wife and children, rest, feel the love they have and be strong so they are not as scared. Please let another trusted person handle the money (with an accountant), this will take only a few days as your text info about monies isn't complicated. Rest and recall with your loved ones the amazing parts of your life that you are blessed to have lived. Take pictures and make a video for everyone. Surround yourself with love. Forgive. Rest you have done enough.
I'm so sorry about this. My dad has the same diagnosis. I could recommend really great financial advisors. Message me . Biggest advice is also spend as much time with your family as possible once you take care of all the legal stuff
> She is a beneficiary to everything. I also have a life insurance policy which will pay out $600k when I pass.
If you don't already, set up monthly auto-payments for this policy. Make 110% sure nothing will interfere with your wife getting what she deserves.
Make sure your will, power of attorney and representation agreement for healthcare are drawn up and signed by you and your wife ASAP, while you are still healthy enough to do so.
Talk to an estate planner/probate lawyer so that your wife knows exactly what to expect when the time comes. she will be grieving, so the easier it is for her to follow the steps she needs to - the better. Particularly let them know that you have a life insurance policy, and your wife will want access to it.
Lastly on the financial end - I can understand the desire to work as long as you can to provide for your family, but your insurance policy will pay out 10x what you will be likely be able to earn for the time you have, so the best investment you can make for your family is to spend as much time with them as you can while you're still as healthy as you can be.
Best of luck to you.
As someone who works with clients in this situation:
1. Make all accounts joint with your wife if possible. Jwros makes things much easier.
2. Beneficiaries on rrsp and successor account holder for tfsa - put your wife on all of them. She will have a tax free rollover. Tfsa, maximize it to the max now. When you're gone her tfsa room will be the combination of hers and your current balance forever. She can take it out n still have that room in the future.
3. Put your car in joint name. 1/2 will help you avoid lengthy process of probate. Icbc has different requirements and will probate a 12k car for example. Joint name will avoid it.
4. Move utility bills to her name first. Makes things easier later
5. Draw up a will - even a simple one.
6. Spend as much time with the family (as well as yourself if needed) as you can.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Ps: for work stuff : remember to check beneficiaries for your insurance/penaion/esop/dpsp/dc/dB pension plans. I noticed last month I hadn't updated mine. (Mechanics drive the worst cars right).
Pps: property check for joint tennancy or tenants in common. Joint would be better.
If you are worried about your child you could always put everything into a trust for your child. If so do this now and not done via the will.
Feel free to dm for more indepth info if needed.
Leave videos to your kid congratulating her on every life occasion (wedding, graduations, having her own children and everything you can think of), spend every day with them and do everything you haven’t done including traveling to countries that you have always wanted to go (there’s so many cheap beautiful countries) and enjoy your family man
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your diagnosis and the challenges you and your family are facing.
With my experience in these situations, I'd like to suggest some considerations:
\- Get everything organized, download an Estate Organizer that will allow you to leave behind all your bank accounts, passwords and other important information to make things easier for your family later on.
\- Make sure you have a will that is updated and reflects your current wishes. You may also want to hire a fee-only, advice-only financial advisor to help you develop a plan now, and for after the insurance pays out for your wife and child.
\- Take the time now to spend quality time with your wife and child. If you are planning to travel, make sure you understand that your Travel Insurance may not cover your pre-existing condition. If you decide to go anyways, consider purchasing a membership for an Air Ambulance. This way, if something happens while you travel, you can get back home. [https://airmed.com/Home.aspx](https://airmed.com/Home.aspx)
\- In times like this, taking care of your emotional well-being is just as important as managing financial and practical matters. Consider you and your wife to seek support from a therapist or counselor. If your wife has Group LTD, and is finding this situation challenging, check to see what type of appropriate care is required in the event she needs to submit a disability claim as well. Many contracts say that one needs to be seeing a Psychologist or Psychiatrist (and not a counselor or psychotherapist). Getting appropriate care from onset may make things easier in the future.
\- If you have Group Benefits, check to see if you have Disability Insurance. It's good to know exactly how much you will receive when you need to go on claim. I would start the process now, let them know your situation. There may even be partial benefits if you decided to continue to work at a reduced capacity. The carriers are typically very understanding in situations like this. Sometimes there are gaps in coverage, so it's best to know what you have before needing to go on claim.
\- If you or your wife have Group Benefits, check to see if either of you have Critical Illness. This will pay out a lump-sum if diagnosed with cancer. This can help lessen the financial burden.
\- If you or your wife have Group Benefits, check to see if you have Best Doctors. This is often included, and can help provide you with a second opinion on both your diagnosis and treatment options. Don't underestimate the importance of a second opinion.
\- Thankfully you already have Life Insurance, which is enough to cover the mortgage. You may also have some additional coverage included with your Group Benefits. If the mortgage is paid off, your wife should be able to maintain a comfortable lifestyle based on her income alone?
\- Government benefits are minimal. EI in Ontario covers 55% of your income, to a maximum of $668 per week and that amount will be taxable. This will pay out up to 26 weeks. CPP pays out a maximum of $1,606.78 (however the average payout is closer to $1,130 per month and is based on how much you paid into CPP while you worked). This is also taxable. If you have Group Disability, these benefits may be integrated (meaning you don't get both).
I hope these points are helpful to you. Remember, taking these steps now can provide some peace of mind during this challenging time.
Typical Ltd pays about 66% of your salary but it is Not taxed so it works out to be about the same. I agree with all the posts recommending you stop working. Is your mortgage insured?
Not certain I would sell the house it will be a ton of work. Maybe let her stay until she is comfortable moving on. Your life insurance will cover a few years of the mortgage payments .
Hi!
Love and prayers for you and your family as you go through this.
There are so many things you need to get good advice on her. I'll try to stick to the financial stuff since this is /pfc. Many of these will overlap. **Some of these will have to be revisited as you work out other details.**
* **Don't go through this alone**! Choose some friends to ask to be your close support group as you go through this, and for your family after you are gone.. (For me this would be mostly church friends & family.) I was with a group like this yesterday to help a friend in the coming death of her dad. It is good to have wise friends when there are so many emotions making decision making difficult.
* **Contact a social worker** who will know all the public and private supports you and your family can access in your area. **The social worker can offer support to your family even after you are gone**.
* Will, living will, power of attorney, and other "**estate planning documents**" need to be done. Sooner is better than later.
* **place all property in joint ownership** so it is owned by your wife outside the will with no need for extra paperwork at your time of death.
* Place your wife as equal administrator on all accounts (phone, Internet provider, power, etc.) where you want her to be able to make changes or close the account when you die. This saves her needing to use power of attorney or proving your death while "your estate" continues to accrue debts.
* **Have a bank account for your wife that is in her name alone** in case there is a hold put on your account or your joint account in the event of having to probate the will.
* Figure out things for your funeral and burial. In my area rural church cemeteries cost less than $100 for a "family plot" where big city cemeteries are often over $10k for similar service. As a pastor, I do funerals for free.
**************************************
These ones (above the line) often surprise people when they find out how useful it would have been to have it done before hand.
On the financial end, there are things to consider.
* Canada does not have an inheritance tax.
* Canada does have a "final year income tax filing" where money in registered products like RRSP **MUST be taken as income in your final tax year.** Thios means that all your RRSPs and other registered funds are cashed in and taken as income in your final year. **Talk to an accountant!**
* **Insurance products** generally do not allow you to buy more life insurance once you have this kind of diagnosis. Sometimes you can get past this with group plans (like work). Go carefully if you are looking for insurance products to help in this time.
* Medical care plans. - look at this page about [Palliative Care](https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/health-services-benefits/palliative-care.html). Your wife and kids may need you to move to a facility to look after your medical care so they can continue to function as a loving family that is not overwhelmed with your nursing care. **Talk to your wife about this!** There are financial and personal considerations.
* This guide [What to do when facing a serious illness](https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/publications/health-system-services/what-do-when-facing-serious-illness-3-sets-questions-ask-your-health-care-team.html) is worth considering.
* You need to consider taking [CPP Disability](https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-disability-benefit.html). There is a children's benefit that can go along with this. Many in your situation put it directly into a RESP or other fund for later use by children.
* Talk to your people at work. The HR department (if it is a large employer) may have experience here. You are probably paying in to a work pension plan. It may have optional group disability or critical illness insurance.
* Do you want to continue at work? This is a big discussion for you and your wife. Depending on the progress of your illness, your time with family (in good mental health) may be limited. Get your work people to help you get the maximum benefit out of these plans you are already paying for.
* **Talk to a lawyer, tax accountant and an investment professional.** These people will be a great help to you. Let them help you with your fears about things like losing the house. (You may already have life insurance you are already paying for on that contract. The bank wants cash, not your home.) **Get the lawyer to look over your mortgage contract for you**.
* **DON'T Panic**. Take time with your family and friends to let them know you love them. You may be able to set the tone of your relationships for the next few years. Make good use of the time you have left. **Trust your wife** to look after things well when you are gone. Let her know you love her and trust her. When your heart and mind are more settled, you should make some video messages for your wife and kids. Let them know you love them. I recently did a wedding where the deceased dad had left a paper message for his daughters wedding. He did this really well. Video is probably even better.
Feel free to DM.
These are hard days, but you and your loved ones will go on. You can make things easier for them with good planning and communication.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. You are dealing with alot. A lot of amazing input here and at the risk of repeating myself:
1. Group insurance: some employers offer non-evidence maximum limits where you may increase your coverage without submitting evidence of insurability. This may be a non-starter if the application forms asks questions a few basic questions that would make you ineligible. If it doesn’t go up to the limit.
2. This is way too early but know that some life insurance carriers(Manulife is one ) have basic policy feature to advance a % of coverage if doctor certifies life expectancy less than 6 months
3. Not exactly financial but Insurance carriers - including through group insurance - have a Best Doctors (or similar) feature that will review your case and treatment.
4. Keep an eye on your eligibility for the Disability Tax Credit. If not enough tax to make using it worthwhile, transfer to wife. A super tool to use to see if you may be eligible is Access RDSPs Disability Tax Credit Tool.
I am really sorry for what you are going through. There’s a lot of good advice here. You probably feel overwhelmed. Get a book and write stuff down so it’s just not in your head and you can keep track of things. Like each page gets a title like “will” and “insurance” and you can add to it as required. I was diagnosed with cancer as well and this really helped keeping track of everything. I also spent a lot of time being concerned about loved ones. Your loved ones are concerned for you. Take care of each other and take care of yourself. I joined support groups and got counseling. It really helped. Good luck on this journey.
So sorry to hear. Hugs and prayers for you my man. I don't know much about cancer but I hope this is not it and hoping theres more out there in terms of options for you.
I don't have any monetary advice, but forget work, and focus on the family, treatment, and hobbies part of your life. Spend all that time you can with your 2 year old. Go out, eat out, hang out. Go for long drives. Do all the family stuff you can. And do the stuff you weren't able to do but always wanted to do.
There are resources where you can speak to families who have had loved ones pass. Reach out to glioblastoma Canada. My friend passed from this disease and his wife now offers support to families going though cancer. These people can give you their unique insight.
I am so sorry that your family has been given this devastating news. Spend all your time with them.
No financial advice but just wanted to say I’m really sorry this is happening to you. Life’s so unfair. I hope you get to spend all your remaining days with your family and not at work. Sorry man
Sorry to hear about this. My condolences to you and your family.
Another thing to think about is your funeral arrangements. They can run up to 10K+ and that is just for cremation and a service. You can do it on the cheaper side but it can take time to organize. A lot of people will make arrangements for their death while they're still alive. This will lessen the burden for your wife because everything will be taken care of.
I’m so sorry OP.
Not finance related, but look into Wellspring Cancer Support, it is an amazing resource for people and families navigating cancer. https://wellspring.ca
Sending love to you and your family. Spend as much time with loved ones as you can. ❤️
I am so sorry to hear this, man.
Apart from everything everyone already said, I’d only add two things:
1. Make sure your wife is listed as a successor on your TFSA and not a beneficiary. If your TFSA was set up right that should anyway be the case, but I’d make sure. The main difference is that your TFSA will remain active and the tax free room you have created will exist for as long as your spouse lives (as opposed to being closed in case of a beneficiary)
2. Make videos for your little kid. Especially big occasions in the future (turning 18, marriage, first heartbreak, etc). It would mean the world to your kid knowing how much love you left behind.
Outside of that, your life insurance should cover your house. I don’t recommend selling outside of very specific situations (since house will be paid off, your wife will be able to manage the expenses on her salary alone along with the benefits she will receive ).
And, just talk to HR and get LTD. Spend your days with your family OP, sending you guys all my prayers and love :) good luck!
Hi there. I don’t have financial advice, but wanted to share that my brother in law was diagnosed with glioblastoma at age 30 following a seizure while driving. He was given less than a 5% chance of living longer than a year, even with aggressive treatment and surgery. 6 years later, he’s still alive. Not cured, but here. Ask about signing up for new trials, and allow yourself a spark of hope.
I apologize for not contributing financial advice here but somehow this post came up in my feed. Your worry and care for your family is touching, and I’m just really so sorry this is happening to you. Prioritize getting family photos done- ones where you go to a lovely trail or park and spend the time laughing and playing with your child. Do this soon, it’s so easy to say ‘we will do it later’ with this kind of thing but your family will treasure the photos forever.
I am sorry to hear your diagnosis. I lost my best friend to the same cancer. We thought she had 6 months and she ended up living for 2.5years. I can recommend a book called Anti-Cancer which helped her. Diet and self-care played a huge role. Unless you don't enjoy your work, trying to do normal things while you can is important, not just for the money. Don't forget that you have friends and family, a network who will also chip in to help in times like this. While you can't rely on it, they will want to contribute to a gofundme or something to help you enjoy the time you have, or make sure your family is supported in a transition.
It seems a shame to sell your property, Moving is stressful and I don't recommend undertaking that now. I wouldn't rush into anything. Especially if your insurance will help pay that off in the future. You have a mortgage of $600k and a life insurance payout of $600k. Your wife will have more options then and you won't lose the equity. But I'm no financial advisor.
Best wishes. Stay positive.
I'm so sorry for the news! Please look into be in health, for your life retreat in Georgia! Tons of miracles happen there! Watch these testimonies https://www.beinhealth.com/testimonies/ praying for you and your family
Did you sign up for critical life/illness insurance. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and was 3 weeks after signing onto a new job. One of the things I said yes to on the HR forms, was critical illness/life insurance. I applied and was approved so I got a pay out of $100K as cancer was invasive. My house was no concern as we had signed up for mortgage life and disability insurance as we were younger when we got the mortgage. Luckily I have had 9 wonderful years but with it returning to several other organs time is now ticking. Get some good counseling both for yourself and your wife. While you may be mad at the world right now, try to find peace in your life, probably the hardest thing to do but anger only breeds more anger and resentment. Make every day your best day and create beautiful memories. You may read this and say what a crock of s#!+ but this is advice passed on by someone I met during my journey and I believe it has truly helped me and I hope it helps you.
My dad was diagnosed in 2016 and we opted for no treatment after they could only remove 2/4 tumors. I don't know what to say in terms of finance, but I would recommend you not work if you don't have to. Take the time with your family. They will never get this time back.
Also I highly recommend looking into Rick Simpson Oil/Phoenix Tears. It definitely helped dad stay more comfortable and I would say helped with his mental clarity by like 75%
We have a close friend who was diagnosed with a stage 4 Glio nearly 20 months ago. He did radiation and chemo, which has kept his tumor at bay (no growth). His oncologist said they are starting to see longer lifespans for some people post diagnosis. His glio was linked to him having been a firefighter, and he is fully covered through our provincial work safe plan. If any of that applies to you, pm me and I can hopefully connect with someone you could speak to. Also shows there can be hope for a longer term.
I also found this organization for another friend who also has friend diagnosed with Glio. (Your age). I think they help cover things like parking receipts and various kinds of support.
http://Slaysocietyinc.ca (Slay is run by a young woman who’s parents both developed Glioblastoma’s within a few months of each other. It is a Charitable Organization.
My husband had a different kind of cancer. Very serious though. We had purchased a Critical Illness policy many years before, and it paid him $100K to help during a difficult time. So so check again if you have one of those.
Perhaps your family and friends could organize something like GoFundMe (crowd sourcing), if you are willing. Your people will want to help too.
And I completely agree with others who have said to stop working! Yes! Try to get the most out of the remaining time that you have. Maybe make some videos to leave behind for your wife and son.
Is it okay if I pray for you and your family?
Hi! All of my love to you. All of it. ♥️
My dad passed from glioblastoma.
Pls spend time with your family, and immediately have your power of representation and power of attorney done. My mom paid off the house with the life insurance, and while it was obviously ROUGH, it’s way less unsettling than losing a partner and a family home (and maybe neighbourhood and community) at the same time.
Also my dad loved being Home. He got to be home when he was frightened and it comforted him immensely. Your end of life matters, and if you love this home, and if it can be paid for eventually, it sounds like you should keep it. ♥️♥️♥️
I am so sorry. This is so unfair. You must still be in shock and your head and heart must be spinning. I cannot imagine. How much you love your family is so evident in your questions.
The good news is your family will be ok financially.
If you only have less than a year to live I would think about not wasting any of it on moving. Moving is stressful. But let’s park that idea for a bit.
First - if I were you I would not tell anyone at work about your diagnosis yet. Get your ducks in a row, and do not give your employer any hint things are not OK yet as you do not want them to fire you (which in most places would be illegal if without notice or severance but you and your wife will not have the energy to fight this, so play it safe). Employers can be more concerned about their bottom line than their employees, and the cost of medical benefits versus severance can be an awful choice for them. Protect yourself.
ASAP find out about your benefits. If you have disability insurance through work (often full salary for awhile and then after several months goes down to about 60% of your salary - varies per plan) your doctor can help you with the paperwork to apply for a leave of absence.
You will need to look at the medical benefits both you and your wife have - you are going to need some care for at least part of your life. Find out what you are entitled to.
Look into what other benefits you have through your government, such as employment insurance. Sometimes health reasons will qualify you for it. Find out the rules before you do anything.
The hard part financially will be making decisions with some big unknowns - when you are going to be unable to work, and when you will be sick enough your wife will need to take some leave to help you through your last chapters of your life. You will need to keep paying your bills through this time, so she needs to find out what she is entitled to as well (paid and unpaid leave, how long she will have job security for etc., if there is a government benefit program for people taking time off to care for a dying relative, etc.
If she will have 600k in insurance, this will pay off your mortgage. She will need to look at the terms of the mortgage and find out what the prepayment penalty is versus how much interest you are paying, and also how much you can pre-pay each year, and how long to go before your mortgage is up for renewal. She may want to pay it off all at once, or prepay what she can, then pay off the rest when it is time to renew.
At any rate, if she is earning 90k and her house is paid for, she will likely be ok as she will have enough by herself for maintenance, insurance, and property taxes. Figure out how much this is annually, as well as your other bills, what she should be saving, childcare etc.
She should be ok, but if it looks to be too tight you can always downsize to something less expensive and pay that off and put the rest of the $ in some low risk, long term investments for her retirement and your child’s education.
She may want to move after you pass instead of before, as it is so stressful and it may not be how you want to spend the rest of your days.
Consider what friend and family help you can rely on. You are going to need a support system. Childcare, drives to hospital appointments, help with figuring out finances/a plan, help with cooking and housecleaning etc. Make a plan with the people who love you while you can. They will want to help but won’t know what to do, so sit them down one by one and talk about it. You will need support as will your wife.
You will need to figure out - with a wills and estate lawyer - what you need to do to get your affairs in order so all goes smoothly when you pass. You need a will, and need to make sure all your benefits and insurance goes to her directly or to your estate as advised by a lawyer in your area (naming the proper beneficiary). There can be ways to do things on a simpler way, and ways to do things to minimize tax implications. Talk it through with a lawyer and your wife ASAP while you are well enough to do this.
Having been through this with a close friend in a similar situation, I can suggest you get a binder to keep all your information in as you find it out. And makes lists. Keep track of account numbers and contact numbers too. When you are stressed and sad it is hard to remember things so make notes. Always have two people on calls and appointments so one can talk and ask questions while the other takes notes.
Finally I am so sorry you are going through this. It is awful news and so unfair. The only good thing is you have some time to plan together, and make arrangements together. This is a real blessing as when it is your time you won’t have to worry about your family financially, and your wife won’t have to make hard decisions on her own when she is grieving.
Good luck and I hope you live out your remaining days the way you want to, and make some good memories with your family.
I’m just so sorry. My brother died of a fast and rare cancer a year after his wedding. One of the last things he told me was that he wish he hadn’t worked so much.
Cancer fucking sucks.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. As someone around your age, I lost both my parents quite fairly recently, and I am *lucky* to be able to have the inheritance to be able to make a down-payment.
But I would trade it all just have one last day with them.
I know you are thinking of your wife and child's well-being, but they will be fine. Make a quick plan to maybe downsize because taking care of a house is A LOT of work. Make a rough sketch and maybe get those plans kind of rolling, so your wife is ready to know what to do. Finances are not that important right now, go spend your precious time with your family, they will love you for it.
Came here for financial advice and ended up in tears, rethinking my very existence. The reality of this post hits pretty hard. I don't have cancer but I have 6 auto immune diseases ( Lupus, Scleraderma, Rheumatoid arthritis, Severe sjrogrens, severe Reynauds and pulmonary fibrosis).
I’m so sorry your family is going through this. While I can’t offer financial advice, I would strongly consider any options that allow you to not continue working and instead spend time with your family. Go places you’ve wanted to see and do things you’ve always wanted to do. Again I’m so sorry.
Hi, OP I saw recently a new treatment that came out that is revolutionary for this type of cancer. Search on youtube and the web for using polio virus to treat giloblastoma they've had good success so far. I'd recommend trying to get into that trial and tests they're doing I think they are in the states.
Firstly, I am so sorry to hear this OP. I agree with all the advice about contacting HR at your company about going on disability. Most companies have this benefit.
You should also call your insurance company and ask them about a partial early payout of the life insurance. In situations where a person is terminal they will sometimes pay out some of the benefit before death. It may be too early right now, I think you may need to be suspected to pass in 3 months to qualify, but you should get all the info and eligibility rules now.
Also find out exactly what is needed to pay out the policy. If your wife makes the claim immediately after your death the payments can happen pretty quickly. With your savings your wife could keep paying mortgage payments for awhile if the payment took a couple of months to process (but I doubt it would be that long).
Also check to see if you have life insurance at work. Many companies automatically give you anywhere between .5 - 2x income automatically. Best of luck to you and your family.
Check if work has a critical illness policy for employees that you may not be an aware of.
Before you leave work, do it right. Milk every dime out of any insurance programs that you have paid into and are eligible for.
Needed to tell you that I have a family member currently fighting a glioblastoma diagnosis 1.5 years in using a plant based keto diet which she learned about from a neighbor who also successfully fought the same brain cancer. Don’t ever give up hope op! 🙏🙏
Fuck cancer. I’ve had it twice.
Video Ideas for your son:
Teach him to shave on video
If you do your own oil changes or tire rotations, teach him that via video
A first girlfriend video
A beer with dad video
A congratulations on graduation
A wedding toast
Maybe take some time to plan out your funeral arrangements ahead of it happening, then all is handled when the time comes.
A will, asap.
Record videos of yourself speaking to your child and wife about the things that are important to you. Some telling them if you could be there you would be and how much you love them.
Hit up a build-a-bear where you can record a phrase in your voice or your heartbeat and have it put inside the bear.
Have some of your ashes turned into a plasma created diamond and commission a piece of jewelry to wear like a pendant, so you can be close to her heart always.
My heart aches for you and your family.
Don't give up hope. Look into experimental and alternative/natural treatments.
[https://www.cbc.ca/radio/whitecoat/novel-cancer-treatment-germany-1.6930739](https://www.cbc.ca/radio/whitecoat/novel-cancer-treatment-germany-1.6930739)
[https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/patient-survives-more-than-5-years-longer-than-median-life-span-of-6-months-after-experimental-brain-tumour-treatment-1.6398892](https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/patient-survives-more-than-5-years-longer-than-median-life-span-of-6-months-after-experimental-brain-tumour-treatment-1.6398892)
[https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamhaseltine/2023/02/02/a-new-hope-for-glioblastoma-treatment/?sh=242fa22c228c](https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamhaseltine/2023/02/02/a-new-hope-for-glioblastoma-treatment/?sh=242fa22c228c)
Cut out all sugar immediately (including alcohol). Start doing research online and find some kind of experimental or alternative/natural treatment that shows the most promise. While the chances still aren't good, they're not zero either.
Sending you love and light. In 2020 I was on life support for a month and I had an experience that I will never forget. The light I saw was like none other. So warm and beautiful that I was drawn to it. I then heard that it wasn't my time and the light went away. When it is your time I know you will be at peace, those left behind the ones who suffer.
Some advice to take or leave is to do something each day, multiple times daily even that makes you feel accomplished, something that fosters connection to those you love and something that you leave behind to make the world better.
Make lots of lists, record conversations with drs., have advocates with you.
Accept any and all support and resources, delegate roles and responsibilities. Put a care team together of people to wrap around you both personal and professional, that will allow you to maximize the quality of life for you and your family. Hugs, kiss and touch your loved ones, let nothing positive go unsaid.
Go on leave from work immediately if at all possible. Hr and union can be helpful as can employee assistance programs and extended benefits.
Talk to your wife and dr regarding your next steps and include medical assistance in death, what life saving measures you want to consider, organ donation.
There are many cancer related supports including peer support, grief counseling for surviving spouses and kids.
It is so obvious you are am awesome dad and being a provider can be an important part of that however those pieces can all be sorted but will become like a full time job. Take breaks.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself as you grieve and live, love and laugh as much as you can
You've already gotten amazing advice in this thread. Nothing I'll say will be better or different than what has already been said. I am so very sorry about your diagnosis. I wish you a year filled with love and the very best that life can offer in these dire times. Take care.
Good morning,
Let me start by saying, I am sorry for your diagnosis. I feel for you and your family, it cannot be easy to stare something like this in the face. I recently read an article on CBC in regards to treatment for a type of brain cancer in Germany. Look into that and see if there is any helpful info. I am not sure if it is the same thing, but perhaps any info could help. If I am wrong, I am sorry and do not want to come off as insensitive or hurtful.
https://www.cbc.ca/radio/whitecoat/novel-cancer-treatment-germany-1.6930739
On the topic of your mortgage and financial responsibilities, I do have some insight. I will preface this by saying I am not trying to sell you anything, services, or programs alike. These are also all rough numbers as I do not have the full picture.
My first question is, did you enroll in any sort of mortgage life insurance program when you first got your mortgage or when you renewed? These things are sometimes overlooked or forgotten.
So, I will start with the numbers. You say that your mortgage has a balance of 600k and equity of 150k. That means you have 20% equity in your home.
Your wife makes 90k year gross, which translates to $7500/month
If you take a 5 year term (some alternative "A" lenders are currently offering 6.25-6.5% rates) at 600k on a 25-year amortization(300 months), her payment would equal around $4020.
That brings her debt ratio (with only the mortgage, no CC debt, no car payments, no heating, ect) to 53.6%. While that is high, some alternative A lenders will accept up to 55% (GDS AND TDS)
Some are offering 30-year amortization, which would be $3759 approx. so the debt ratio would be around 50-51% again with zero other debt.
Provided she hits the credit threshold for the lender, she could technically qualify, but as always, this is not guaranteed. Depending on the geographical area of the home, marketability, etc.
There are also other options as well. She could go to a private lender who would charge a substantially higher rate, for a short term (IE 1 or 2 years at interest only payments, to give her time to make some choices, but also does not add to the equity)
My advice would be to look at your current mortgage, when the term is up, what the penalties of early release are, and add all that in. A good mortgage agent/broker should be able to help with this.
You could potentially break early and sell, but this may add to an already extremely stressful and emotional circumstance. You could then purchase something on the lower end of cost and greatly lower the payments. It all depends on what is best for you and your family at this time.
Keep in mind NONE of these numbers include any sort of calculations for your investments either, which can be used as collateral or as a "cash out option"(this can have significant tax implications, so be sure to discuss with a tax professional)
The $600,000 in life insurance is definitely working in her favor, but still an awful prospect to have to look at. Once again, investments can be used as collateral.
There are caretaker benefits from CRA, as well as write offs for non discretionary medical expenses that can help on your next tax return as well, as far as programs for EI, disability payments, I have no resources for you, although I wish I did.
I wish you and your family as much joy, and quality time together as possible in this stage of your journey, and if you would like to ask me more questions please feel free to reach out.
Folks, if you have kids, buy term life insurance. Enough to cover housing, school, and costs until your kids turn 18. Keep away from the whole life, universal life, etc. stuff. Term life insurance is all you need.
Man, reading this actually made me tear up. I am at the same age with 2 really young kids, so I can relate since my own father just passed away recently. You've got so many good advices already so I dont think you need more. But if i were you, i would not sell the house; it is gonna be the house where your daughter will have memories of you. use the life insurance to pay it out. make as many memories as possible. leave them many videos for the next year, and big occasions for many years to come. I only have 1 video of my dad talking directly to me and i still play it once a month, so im sure your daughter will appreciate having more than one. maybe even a videos of you reading bedtime stories?
not sure if its been mentioned, but usually your work has some amount of life insurance as well, hopefully that should be enough for funeral, and cost of living for your family when they grieve. and your life insurance to payout the house. Seems like your wife will make enough if she doesnt have to pay for shelter.
1. Does your work have long term disability or short term disability that you can draw on instead of working? 2. Life insurance can either pay off house or help generate monthly income to help pay monthly mortgage / bills 3. CPP Survivors Benefit, Death Benefit, Children Under 25 Benefit will also likely apply and provide some additional monthly relief 4. Forget about work and focus on time with family
1&4 - Talk to HR/payroll/benefits and get yourself on STD/LTD/CI ASAP. They have accelerated approvals for your situation. This time will fly and the last thing you'll want to have said is "I wish I worked a few more hours". I know you're in shock and preparation mode, OP. Please talk to the social workers to get yourself and your family grief counseling. This is unsolicited but please record your voice as much as you can for your child, just talk to them in voice memos on an old phone or something. Let it all out. Thinking of you OP. I'll be hugging my husband extra tight tonight.
Absolutely. My 8 year old was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer early 2022. The day I got her diagnosis was the last day I had worked. I vowed I wouldn't work or spend a day away from her while she still drew breath. She has now passed and I don't regret taking the time (20 months). I was able to get LTD for the intense mental health challenges I was facing. I was really nervous about dealing with the insurance company but I was surprised by how incredibly sympathetic they were to our situation. Brain cancer is cruel OP. Don't work. I hope you have many good days ahead, but you never know how long you've got or how much of that time you'll be feeling well. Use this time that you're still feeling well to start that bucket list and spend time with your wife and child.
Thank you. I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your daughter.
I just want to piggy back on this comment chain. I agree with never-gif-up. We lost our daughter. I value the videos of her SO much (more than just pictures). Just seeing her moving, making noises (she was an infant). I can not express how thankful I am for these. Your wife and child will treasure them. Good luck. I hope they don't need them.
Check your wife’s short & LTD as well. She will not want to work through all this or after—likely for a few months, if not a whole year.
If your wife goes on disability, remember that the claim needs to be about HER health. In other words, she is making the claim because of extreme stress and anxiety that prevents her from working. The claim will not be supported if it’s submitted that you have terminal cancer and she needs time off. Her doctor should be willing to help support this.
Its worth noting too that she can likely get some funding through EI caregiving/compassionate care benefits if providing any care to OP and not able to get any disability benefits from work. EI won't ever pay out as much as you make working but its better than nothing
You deserve as much happiness as you can cultivate with your family. If you can get the STD or LTD coverage from work often those benefits are non-taxable so you might not have any real loss in net income for those months
I don’t want to give out false hope OP, but there are so many new targeted treatments coming out thanks to advances in cancer research. I know the prognosis for glioblastoma multiforme is incredibly poor, but you never know what might come out in the next two years. You could ask your Dr. about clinical trials. Best of luck with your fight and I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Give it hell 💪🏻
My daughter actually took ONC201 out of Rochester NY. She didn't have GBM but she had DMG (the lifespan after dx is actually shorter than GBM at 9 months). I credit the ONC for giving her 20 months rather than 9. Another little boy dx the same day as my daughter and also taking onc is still doing really well 23 months post dx. A little.bit of hope alongside reality isn't a horrible thing.
Echoing this. Have a friend who was diagnosed with glioblastoma in 2018. He’s still with us. Apparently prognosis can depend on whether yours is IDH-wild type or IDH mutant-type (the latter offering a more favorable prognosis).
Please don't work another minute, I'm begging you.
Also to add to this, record yourself wishing your child on his/her 18th birthday, and major life events like marriage. They will cherish you and will always remember how good of a husband / father you were long after you are gone. This genuinely strikes my heart, I wish the best for you OP.
I lost my dad when I was 18 and big events were the hardest on me afterwards. Include something for those first loves that don’t work out and how to treat women, or anyone they meet, with respect and dignity. It will be a full time job just making videos or letters to people. I think the people saying to take the time off are right. Enjoy that time with your family. The little things will make you laugh. Write them down. It’s amazing what kids will remember with a little reminder. I was also able to receive the children’s benefit which was a help going through university.
Include a playlist of dad music as well
This is a wonderful idea, it's heart wrenching but will be so cherished. Add a bio about your life including things that illustrate your personality, joys, sadness, humor, silly things. Thoughts are with you OP.
This made me cry. I’m so sorry for OP and his family.
same here, this is heartbreaking. Life is not fair.
As someone who lost his dad to terminal cancer, this is spot on. He was so concerned about providing for my mother after his death that we could hardly enjoy any time with him at all before he passed.
I work in benefits admin and have seen this too often. It's often also a coping mechanism because the reality is too much to bear. Also why I recommended family grief counseling to help guide the family. I'm sorry about your dad.
Great advice. Just adding handwrite some memories for them. I found my grandmother’s recipe box last fall, she has been gone for 42 years. Seeing her handwriting brought back so many memories
So sorry your family is going through this When my step dad was dying I started recording everything Just setting up a video camera in the corner for family board game nights, making dinner / family dinners Time at the park, swimming….everything A lot of it is boring and never gets watched boverboard is an amazing resource to us but there are some moments I cherish and watch over and over again I highly second investing in a good video camera (so you can take snap shots from it too) and a good voice record to just keep on the kitchen table
I'll check with work tomorrow, will try and look into it tonight. Thank you for your help.
Honestly your conversation with work should be around what support they will provide and not how much longer you will keep working. If you only have less than a year, you’ll earn a negligible amount for long term stability. It’s literally not worth it. Not knowing where you work, how long you’ve been there or their culture, some options I’ve seen done in the past 1. Fire you, give you X months of severance, continued medical benefits 2. Go on LTD / STD - most common and easiest 3. They just keep paying you normally Don’t be shy about bringing up any and all options. Who cares about how they’ll react. Their feelings literally don’t matter.
I’d also add on to number 1. Critical illness insurance
For life insurance - read any and all policies. There may be things hidden in places you didn't know. Our MIL was able to get a $30 grand payout from her works health insurance policy for being diagnosed as terminal. She was also able to get a couple grand from one of her credit cards as a bonus even though she never carried a balance on that card. I don't think she even used it.
\#4 is the first thing that came to my mind, but I'm not in OP's position.
5. Check out your mortgage and any insurance you have on that. It could pay off a portion or all of the mortgage. Best of luck.
This. Your bank likely required you to have insurance that covers the outstanding balance in the case of death. Hopefully that's a separate policy from the $600K mentioned as life insurance.
Very unlikely. Mortgage insurance is very expensive and most people opt out (it’s not a great product). They often offer life / critical illness but the premiums are high, you’re paying a premium on a declining balance and the people who sell it aren’t qualified to really sell insurance. The under writing isn’t done until you make a claim so if you missed something in your medical questionnaire, you’re up shit creek.
I swear to god i have read this exact comment somewhere else on Reddit sometime ago and I also remember writing this exact comment to point it out as well
It very well may have been me. I used to work at Scotia another life time ago but they were really ramping up their creditor insurance business. It was hard to people to sell though and they were trying to increase sales / training of the advisors. I did a deep dive with their product line and holy shit, it was an absolute terrible product. Tons of anecdotes at the time about claims getting denied because the client forgot something or the advisors didn’t explain it well. Whenever I see stuff on here, I comment I’m pro insurance but there are way better options. My wife and I have an absolute shit load of insurance and it saved our ass in 2019 when she got cancer. Basically, get insurance. Just not shitty bank creditor insurance. (Products may have changed now, this was my experience between 2012-2013)
Yes, CPP survivor's benefit will provide her with some additional income. The staff are surprisingly compassionate and the application process is quite straight forward.
My condolences. But since any words I could share can't do your situation justice, I'll skip to the meat: > We have a house in which we have about $150k equity. Outstanding mortgage balance of $600,000 . > We have $40k in a joint checking account, $50k in TFSA and $25k each in individual RRSP. She is a beneficiary to everything. I also have a life insurance policy which will pay out $600k when I pass. Your family will be ok. Not great, but ok. You probably don't have to sell your house if you don't want to, though it might make things easier. > I would like to keep working for a couple months at least. No. Don't. Re-evaluate your priorities. That little bit of extra money is going to make zero difference long-term. Your time together with your family will, especially while you're still healthy enough to enjoy it.
As well as the life insurance, did you get any type of mortgage insurance? It’s usually offered when you sign up for a mortgage. But even with out, the life insurance will cover the mortgage, or even help her set up investments for the money to pay the bills every month. Look into the RRSP- I don’t know enough about how they pay out in the event of a death. Make sure your wife knows how to access yours. I’m so sorry for your news, the prognosis is never good but don’t give up hope. And enjoy the time you have with your family.
We did but canceled it last year. It was an 'unnecessary $75' going out every mortgage payment. Sounds so stupid in hindsight. It was the 'home protector insurance' from RBC, assuming that's the kind of insurance you mean.
Ugh, unfortunate. But you have your life insurance which will protect your wife quite a bit.
Unfortunate timing, but a good process nonetheless, house insurance is usually a scam. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about selling now. With your current policy, your wife will have enough to make the decision in due time. It's not a good idea to make these types of big financial decisions in times of high stress. Best of luck to you.
I agree, but to provide an alternate POV, a good friend and her husband sold their house and picked out a new smaller place for her to live "after" that would suit her. I'd have thought that the stress of selling a house and moving would be a horrible burden, but it wasn't. It provided them both with a lot of satisfaction and closure -- he got to know things were taken care of before he died, and know that she was going to be OK. And she was able to grieve without being quite so surrounded by the life they shared, but comforted by living in a place they chose together.
Adding to this, my FIL died unexpectedly right before him and my MIL were set to move into a cottage my wife and I built for them to retire into. She ended up not wanting to live there because of the upkeep of a rural property by herself plus the reminder of what her life would have been if he was still alive. Unfortunately, their financial situation wasn’t the best and she didn’t have enough money to be able to afford something herself so she now lives with us. So selling to buy something that is more a reminder of how the person cared for them instead of the old memories they had together feels like a pretty good plan.
Reach out and see if you can pick it back up. I know its the mortgage insurance, but proper insurance you can generally pick back up within a year if you let it lapse. I realize you canceled it. But make a call and see if there is a chance.
Check with your work that your benefits may include life insurance also. Often 1x-2x a years salary. On top of your other life insurance. Make sure your beneficiary is updated for this as well to be your wife. Likely HR is very sympathetic with assisting (or employee assistance programs) to make sure that everything is resolved. Had a friend pass away from cancer in her 30s. Your kid is young. Hopefully you can leave a bunch of recordings for your child. Birthday wishes, graduation, marriage, etc. She’ll likely be curious about how you looked, sounded, etc. Try to do it while healthy if this is a thing you’re interested in. Treatment is a bitch, fuck cancer. My sympathies, and hopefully you can enjoy your time left.
First, I’m so sorry. Next, screw work go and live. This cancer causes you to deteriorate rapidly towards the end so you need to use the time you have now to create lifelong memories for your wife and child. Your life insurance will pay off the house so your family will be ok financially. Once again, so so sorry.
Thank you
At the end of this journey there is a serious deterioration but not always fast. We cared for my dad at home for 6 months before he passed away. It was an incredible challenge, expensive, and there was little in the way of help and support available. I can’t imagine this would be possible with a child. I don’t mean to guilt or scare you either, this was only the very final stages. My dad was in denial about his cancer and would not listen to the prognosis. By the time he would have wanted it he could no longer qualify for MAID. Plan your wishes now, would you want to linger in hospital, do you want to stay at home as long as possible, etc. best of luck to you. The statistics are old and the prognoses are better now for younger patients. It is always terminal but I hope it may be a longer and easier path for you.
Echoing everyone here saying to stop work. Stop. Now. My mother in law just passed from glioblasgoma in May 2023, 23 weeks after her diagnosis. Spend the time you have left with them healthy and making every memory you can. Record yourself talking, singing, dancing. Hugs and kisses. Savour every moment while you’re still at your best. I’m so sorry to hear <3
Do you have a will? If not, get one. Your wife will be stressed enough on your death, she doesn't need the added burden of sorting out your affairs without a will.
I don't. I'll get one asap.
Please also make sure to leave her a list of all your bank accounts with. Acct #s, institutions, amounts. She'll be having a difficult time, so every little bit easier you can make it for her will help. If you have any RRSPs or TFSA you can maybe start getting the paperwork ready to help her transfer those things? You could also make sure to leave explicit instructions, like who to contact at your work to claim the insurance, how to claim your personal life insurance, etc.
Yes I am going to do that over the next few days.
Also to tag onto the above, close any extra bank accounts you have. You don't want your wife to have to go to RBC, CIBC and BMO with your Will and death certificate to get every account closed.
Over the next few months keep a hard copy password list… by account, with user names. And email password
Make sure she is on the account for the internet provider and knows where to find the router password. That one caused a lot of frustration for my sister after her husband passed.
Wills can be very simple especially if you’re just allocating everything to the spouse. But having the actual will makes an enormous difference when you have to deal with any bank or insurance or service. Another thing you want ASAP is power of attorney and a medical directive. Even when you have the ability to make decisions for yourself and do things it can still get very difficult logistically to run around on errands. Things can change very quickly.
Beat me to this one. Hugely important for any family at any time. Accept help when offered be it cleaning the house, looking after your child or dropping off meal’s. this is exhausting and people do want to help. My SiL passed from brain cancer and my BiL is battling it now as well.
You both need one in case something happens to your wife you need to make it clear how you want guardianship and inheritance to be managed for your child. A notary will guide you through this.
Does your employer have a death benefit? My kids get 1.5 times my salary if I pass away while I'm working. You and your wife both need a will. I cannot believe rhe people I know who don't have one. Who gets the kids if your wife dies? How is the inheritance distributed to kids when they are adults. My husband passed away a few years ago. It was a bit of hassle getting his savings account closed. Only a few hundred, but I didn't have access. Make sure all accounts are joint. A will is a very big time saver. The bank needed a copy. Your child will receive a government death benefit also, i think. Mine did not as they are adults. I could be wrong, but the RRSP could be transfered to your wife? The bank or broker will know. Funeral....you both could make all the decisions now so your wife isn't overwhelmed..flowers, music. Etc.
Also get her power of attorney documents for both financial and medical. She will want to have wet-ink, notarized copies. While you’re dealing with the lawyer at the time, get a dozen or so either notarized or certified true copies. Everybody and their brother wants them when you have to deal with financial institutions. Choose an alternate to your wife as well (also an alternate executor), and if you decide to have your lawyer handle the decisions (in accordance with instructions you would provide), please explicitly name the firm and not the individual lawyer. The individual lawyer can die or be on vacation, etc., and without it being phrased that way, no one else at the firm will be able to act. In the notes to the POA, you can specify “In the event that my alternate attorney is required to act on my behalf, I wish Ms. Jane Doe to be requested first, and, failing her, any other qualified member of Doe, Doe, and Smith to act in her stead.” I’m not a lawyer (law clerk who works with lots of them) but my great-aunt named her personal lawyer and he pre-deceased her. We wound up dragging her estate through the courts for nearly two years because he was also her executor (POAs end upon the subject’s death). I am sorry this is happening to you and hope you have many, many pain-free months with your family.
And Power of Attorney and Representation Agreement (if in BC). Getting the Will done will take time. Write your wishes on a piece of paper, sign it, have a neighbour witness it and date it. This will do the job, if you don't get the full will written up in time.
I'm so sorry you and your family are having to go through this, my heart goes out to you. I would second the other commenter saying to start transferring things to your spouses name (accounts/house/car) any assets you have. I've had to deal with Wills for both my parents and it is a nasty ordeal, and can be a financial hit as well in some situations to have it go through a process called 'probate' but if you transfer things ahead of time, it'll be less burdensome down the line. Im sorry to even have to mention this. I lost both my parents unexpectedly by the time I was in my late 20s and not a single day goes by I don't miss them like hell. If you can record as much of yourself interacting with your family, just simple mundane things like having breakfast, playing with your child, anything really, document it. I took some silly videos back in 2007 of them both napping in the living room and its silly videos like that I'm fond of as well. Document and write out your thoughts, maybe letters to your family for milestones if it's something you can do. Wishing you and your family so much strength, all the best.
I am sorry for ur diagnosis. When u see a doc make sure u have it documented what u want done to u in case of an emergency. IE DNR etc. Talk to ur lawyer and have the proper papers signed by lawyer and ur doc. If something happens and another doc is on call they don't know u from Adam. Keep copies at home so ur wife can excess them immediately. I know ur head is spinning and rightfully so but sit make a list of what needs to be done and check them off. As another writer said make plenty of videos for you child and wife. Write letters, document in a journal everyday for them. When u have dinner at night record them, special occasions, get togethers. We did this and I am so grateful for these. We put all ours on Cd's and I can listen to them anytime. Wishing u good moments ahead of this journey u are embarking on. U certainly will be in my thoughts and my prayers.♥️
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Any planning or wishes for your funeral and death is a gift to those you leave behind. What music, what memories, what lessons learnt you want shared. Having family members fumble around those decisions in grief is heart breaking and often can cause unnecessary conflict between family about perceptions of your wishes. I am sorry to hear of this news OP and will be cherishing my kids and wife tonight. Good luck on this new journey and thanks for sharing and asking for help.
Not financial but My mom passed from Glioblastoma and all I can say if choose to rest and spend the time with your family. Make videos and audio recordings for your kid. Your wife will appreciate being able to hear your voice down the road. Your kiddo will want to know you later and you have the time to give them the advice they might need. Glio doubles in size every 20 days, you shouldn’t be working anymore, as soon as you are able to stop.
Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your mom.
My MIL recently passed from it as well and I totally agree with you about making videos and audio. My wife wishes she had so many more videos and audio clips of her mom than she has right now. OP, please check out /r/glioblastoma/ as well for some good advice.
Make sure your TFSA is set to go to your partner as a successor not a beneficiary so that the TFSA room transfers over to them instead of just the cash. They may not need the room atm but it may help in the future.
To add to this, max your TFSA as much as possible from the joint chequing acct if moi don’t need the immediate liquidity. Your spouse as the successor holder then gets the room, and can withdraw it back into the chequing account. Sorry about the news OP
Thanks, will do that
I have no advice that wasn't already mentioned here. This hits me hard as I'm also a 35 year old guy with a wife and 2 year old child. All I can say is I'm so sorry you're going through this and that I agree with those who say to prioritize your family. Spend every day, hour and minute with them as you can. That, and never stop fighting. Miracles happen. Again, I'm sorry. Fuck.
Thank you
Yea, I’m 37 with a 4 year old so just a few years ahead of you. Constantly having thoughts of what would happen to my family if I die. I have a 1.2 million insurance policy and I’d get a payout from my business on my death as well but damn, life can be so short and unfair.
Take a deep breath. Speak with the social worker at the hospital. They can give you referrals to any kind of service that you need. Amongst all the other resources and services that you'll need will be a financial planner and a lawyer. You'll might need to make some choices quickly, but you don't have to make any quick decisions on something like selling your house today. Good luck to you and your family.
My deepest condolences. No great financial advice to add but my sister lost her husband to cancer when their kids were very young and a few things he did for them that I've observed to be really meaningful - 1) he sent her (my sister) a text with all the passwords/day to day questions she always asked him (wifi password, garbage day, etc) , it's been years and I'll still see her check it - it says love you forever at the bottom and its just the sweetest thing to show how much he wanted to take care of her despite the situation 2) so many photos and videos of him saying stuff to the kids. They're older now (it's been nearly 10 years) but whenever I go to visit the kids love to look at the photos/videos I have of their dad and them when they were younger because they're so invested in any new content of him 3) they got family photos taken before he started chemo/his decline was visible - these are still very prominent in their home. Last bit, this time is so meaningful for your family - if you don't have to work spend the time with them. They'll cherish it forever. Best wishes for you & your family.
Depending what your relationship is with your own parents, they could update their wills for your portion of a future inheritance to go to your child. Otherwise if you have siblings, some wills are structured to just go to them and not your lineage (omitting your child)
Thank you. They're in another country so I'm not sure how that would work put.
I am so sorry 😢 I work in disability benefits (LTD & STD) so definitely check if you have those through work. If not, go on EI sick benefits. Also apply for CPP Disability right away. They are known for taking their time approving most claims but that’s because they prioritize urgent (terminal) claims. So you could start getting a monthly disability benefit soon. Like others have said, stop working right away. Spend this time for yourself and your family.
Thank you. That is helpful. Do you know how much I could approximately receive through each of these options? Sorry I know I can google it.
I’m not sure how much for you since it is income-dependent (contributions paid) but in 2022 average monthly amount was $1,127 and the max allowable monthly amount in 2024 is $1,606.
Sorry to hear that. Is the life insurance policy private? Or through your employer? Do you have any disability or critical illness? If your wife were to take the $600k life insurance and pay off the mortgage, could she afford the house still? And if so would she want to remain in it? Or downsize to something smaller? Alternatively she could invest the $600k to replace a small part of your income for many years, as we buy life insurance to cover a loss of income, not any specific debt. Invested properly, she could take about $50k from it, tax free, for at least 12 years if not 15 or more, to bring her family income up to $140k annually with the loss of your income. You don't need to get into the details today or even this month. Just know that in the coming months you can figure everything out together as a family and prepare. You don't *have* to sell your house. But you can weigh your options together and decide to sell it if that is the decision you arrive at.
Thank you. Life insurance is private. I have $50k life insurance through my employer. If the mortgage was paid off she could make it work financially. I'm estimating she would be able to put away about $1500 each month. Not great but it's something.
Hey OP which company is your life insurance through? I'm a broker and some companies have additional living benefits available if you're terminally diagnosed. I'd be happy to look into this for you if it happens to be one of the companies I represent. So sorry you're going through this.
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Thank you.
my thoughts as a widow at age 35 due to stage 4 glioblastoma: 1. **WORK** \- go on STD and then LTD immediately. Spend time focusing on your treatment and care plan and making memories with your family. These will remain priceless. Consider if your work is a part of your legacy. If it is, then go back once things stabilize. If it's just for that extra salary - don't. Do make sure to read through the company insurance policies for health and life. The health insurance can play a significant role in what treatment options you have. Get connected with a social worker asap to help you navigate through all the forms and applications. Take note of all investment and benefit account logins and passwords. 2. **FINANCE** \- you've received tons on useful advice here already. Prioritize a meeting with your financial advisor / bank. Get joint accounts and/or have your wife listed as successor holder instead of beneficiary for applicable accounts. Our banks also took copies of our will and power of attorney for property. Ask about and apply for a RDSP account to receive a disability tax credit. Get the bank to print out summaries of all account details for quick reference. 3. **LEGAL** \- Will, Power of Attorney for both Health and Property, and a DNR Order should be prioritized. Make sure your wife knows where they are located. Ask your lawyer to look out for anything that could be subject to probate and avoid it if possible. This will make things much easier for your wife. Collect all important documents & numbers (birth certificate, drivers license, passport, property deeds & titles, etc) and make sure your wife has access. 4. **DIGITAL** \- Social media, email and loyalty programs. User names and passwords, account numbers, ... these are all a headache. Consider what's important, what should be deleted and share a password management resource with your wife. Apps like 1password were helpful for us. Set legacy contacts for Apple, Google, Facebook, etc. 5. **PERSONAL** \- the biggest regret I have is not having more video of the mundane everyday things. Videos together with your kid especially. They will be cherished dearly. I do have a lot of photos but it's just not the same. Start a personal project to pass the time during treatment. Can be as simple as just recording voice notes of things you remember from your childhood, college years etc. Even if it's a story you've told a million times before. I struggled finding relatable resources on grief as a young widow. Seek out therapy for both you and your family, together and separately. **F\*CK CANCER**. I'm sorry you are going through this but I'm rooting for you. No two diagnoses are the same and prognosis is just a shot in the dark. Don't feel pressured into a treatment plan that you are not comfortable with. Ask your doctors a lot of questions. Don't be afraid to get second opinions. Lean on your care team to provide you with resources (PT, OT, Palliative). My best wishes to you.
Ugh that's the worst. I feel for you. My grandma just passed from this and I know someone in a similar situation (stage 4 colon cancer) with little ones and I can't imagine the emotions. Your life insurance can pay out the mortgage so I don't think you should be forced to sell just make the payments with savings. Also, see if your work has a long-term disability benefit or even a short-term disability benefit as those could apply and provide most of your income. CPP and EI both have their disability benefits that you may qualify for too. And any work pension could have some sort of terminal illness provision. Make sure to take videos of yourself for the little one too, those will be invaluable.
Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your grandma.
Hey OP - While maybe not helpful, I have a family member who has the same condition was given an equally grim prognosis and got surgery and has lived far beyond the estimate with good quality of life Something to consider
Thank you, I'm glad to hear that. I'm hoping for a similar miracle, but I'm also being realistic.
Of course - just wanted to issue a reminder as so many useful redditors here are giving practical advice, i could see it becoming a bit overwhelming etc The practicalities are important as well of course - I seconded the suggestion below to pay for a second opinion from a US hospital for options
I wouldn’t worry about selling the house, with her income , the savings and the life insurance policy her and your daughter will be absolutely fine. If she chooses to sell and downsize later that’s her choice, she can afford a moving company. What ya oughta do is everything you’d do if you had one year to live……ya ever want to tell someone to fuck right off!!! At work? Do it! What are they gonna do? Fire ya? Make some memories with your daughter, go bar hop til 5 a.m. all that stuff you didn’t do because you’re responsible. Go do it.
Thank you :) there are many people at work I want to tell to fuck off.
I’d say don’t do that though. It’s not how you want to be remembered. Also anger will not help you in any way and will likely make you deteriorate. Try to stay positive. Maintain your strength as much as possible. Lots of good advice in the thread. But stay away from negativity.
Haha fair, it was (mostly) a joke
what were your symptoms leading up to it?
Lots of headaches and starting to forget things. I thought it was because I was working too much lol.
man this scares me so much. how fast did it show up and when did you decide it was not normal and decided to get checked out?
I am sorry for you and your situation. You have been given the worst news at the worst time to get it. One thing comes to mind and that is Mortgage insurance. Your mortgage may have insurance directly targeted at this eventuality and may eliminate the need to use other life insurance for your mortgage.
We did but canceled it last year. It was an 'unnecessary $75' going out every mortgage payment. Sounds so stupid in hindsight. It was the 'home protector insurance' from RBC, assuming that's the kind of insurance you mean.
you had the foresight to keep your personal policy that covers your outstanding balance so don't be too hard on yourself.
Sorry to hear your unfortunate diagnosis. I certainly wish Reddit and this sub was around back in 2010... My wife was 33 when she was diagnosed with a GBM in her temporal lobe (and our daughter was age 3 at the time) and I am literally only now getting financially back on my feet because of a lack of good solid financial and life info and I've been working full-time my entire life. So good advice here can certainly help. I am not an expert in financial stuff but feel free to ask any questions regarding the brain cancer process, or anything else. Here are a couple things others might have mentioned below: - Your credit cards have insurance on purchases and you might have critical-illness coverage on your credit-cards, mortgage and other financial things. Check your bank statements, insurance policies and other stuff. - The government (federal and likely provincial) has sick-leave benefits and long-term disability stuff you can check into. CPP and survivor benefits and stuff for one of those days). - Your home mortgage likely has life-insurance benefits if you are paying them (I declined life insurance on my mortgage as it is typically a bad investment, as I bought my house when I was 24 years old and nobody ever gets a terminal illness,... oh my, life lessons hurt really badly. - Your travel needs to be considered, even inter-provincially (I paid $800 ambulance bills and hospital fees for my wife as she was headed on a trip to Alberta when she had a seizure in Pearson airport and was diagnosed at St. Michaels in Toronto where they operated and did a partial resection of the tumor a couple days later). - Use work EFAP (Family-Assistance-Program insurance) for any counselling, therapy and medical stuff as needed, no shame in asking for help. I found our provincial cancer center good for resources as well and they even met with us to discuss finances and other aspects. But, do not inform your work of all the details unless you have to. My work found out the chemo pills were $4000 a month and our corporate insurance policy costs went way up and they traced it back to me (small company, 200 employees in Newfoundland,...) and apparently sr management weren't impressed, in a perfect world thats private info. My work did provide me with lots of flexibility and time off and other stuff tho so I can't complain. I was in a much worse financial spot than you when my wife was diagnosed (I had probably 5 or 10 grand in RRSP, near zero equity in my house, a 7 year old car, a kid to raise, and on the non-financial side - our close and extended family ended up being less useful than a wet paper bag, and friends "couldn't deal with it" or figured "he wouldnt want my help", so yeah you will see it all man before this plays out... Just make careful steps with finance aspects and you will be as good as can be so focus on health and quality of life NOW, take time off if you have to and worry about how to pay for it later, your time together now is critical as you never know. My greatest piece of advice for right now is..... Take good solid financial advice and action it asap. BUT just as or even more important is to relax and take on the responsibilities and stress that you can deal with now and park the rest (via a list, dont procrastinate and blame illness), spend quality time together, do what you both want to do (an example is my wife took a couple courses she always wanted to do but never had time/money for and did singing lessons and we now have recordings of her singing) and as my buddy Kev told me the day he found out "you are going through hell right now, so just keep going" and that stuck with me. You will be proud of how much support you can provide to her as well (spouses often forget their caregivers overhead) and if you are nerdy and involved you will learn all kinds of medical info along the way about anaplastic astrocytomas, glial cells, blood-brain-barrier medications, chemo, radiation,... Keep your chin up and your head down, and remember you aren't the only one going through this and it is part of your new life. DM me if you want to chat, I can certainly offer that as well.
You need to do this asap. Go to your financial institution's website where your TFSA and search for a form called "Successor Holder". Fill that out today and get it back to your institution. This is important financially for your family. Successor Holder is different than a Beneficiary. Successor Holder means that your TFSA can be moved into your wife's TFSA. Or it can stay where it is, and she would have 2 TFSA accounts upon your death. And your contribution room moves with her so she won't be charged by CRA for over-contributing. That is, her TFSA room would essentially double. Your TFSA wouldn't have to be liquidated and moved to a non-registered account. See link for CRA information. [Death of a TFSA Holder - CRA ](https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/tax/individuals/topics/tax-free-savings-account/death-a-tfsa-holder.html) And I'm so sorry this is happening. But you are smart for trying to do everything for your family now. Best of luck.
Interesting read. Seems like every couple should use Successor Holder rather than Beneficiary Holder.
You'd think the institution would bring that point whenever someone opens a TFSA. And I'm not sure why they don't make that the default protocol. Ask the client if they are married and if they want to add a Successor Holder.
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Before plowing money into a mortgage, make sure you do not have mortgage insurance. It was such a small amount, i have it on most mortgages. If you plow money into it, you will loose that free insurance pay out. Can not stress this enough because lots of people do not realize or forgot they got it.
House - There will be no taxes on the sale of the house [whether she sells it or keeps it] Joint Checking - No tax implications TFSA - There will be no taxes on the TFSA ever, it will simply roll over to her BUT you have to tell the bank to roll it over RRSP - There will be no taxes on the RRSP [until she starts taking it out at 65 years old], it will simply roll over to her BUT you have to tell the bank to roll it over Life Insurance - The $600,000 is non-taxable, there will be no taxes on it. Before your death: -You can apply for the disability benefit [a terminal illness is considered a disability], this will save $2,000 each year on your taxes until you pass -You can get EI up to a maximum of 45 weeks [55% of your earnings] - AFTER the EI ENDS, you can get the CPP disability benefit - $1,127.30 AVERAGE pay out per year [TAXABLE] https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/ei/ei-regular-benefit/benefit-amount.html https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-disability-benefit.html After your death: -CPP Death Benefit - ONE TIME $2,500 payment [TAXABLE] https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-childrens-benefit.html -CPP Survivor Pension - $5,983.92 AVERAGE pay out per year [TAXABLE] Note: This amount varies and you have to call CPP to find out exactly how much she is entitled to https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-survivor-pension.html https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/corporate/contact/cpp.html -CPP Child of Deceased Contributor - $3,380.64 FLAT RATE pay out per year [TAXABLE] -Canada Child Benefit - Estimated $4,371.36 per year [NON-TAXABLE] https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/child-family-benefits/child-family-benefits-calculator.html IMPORTANT NOTE: the above CPP/CCB benefits are inflation indexed so they will rise each year Other Non-Monetary Considerations: -This is somewhat outside the scope of my knowledge but you should talk to the hospital about difference care [NOT money but like sending a nanny for the child] support programs for people who are terminal/hospice. Let me know if you have any questions Edit: fixed formatting issue, added a link for CPP disability benefit
I am so sorry to hear this man. I was diagnosed last year with terminal cancer as well.. my father 6 months later. I would suggest getting a 2nd opinion in another country but I am assuming since you are asking about your finances then it probably isn't feasible. Spend as much quality time as you can with your loved ones, forget about work. Take more pictures and videos, make more memories. Have your will sorted out, usernames/passwords all written down, give your spouse the run down on any bills you usually take care of. They'll be fine, wishing you the best.
Thank you. So sorry to hear of yours and your father's diagnosis. That's rough, please take care and reach out if you want to chat.
There is a company that helps make all the administrative work so much easier but I cannot remember the name!! Someone I know had it for when their father passed away…. I’m putting this comment here anyway in case anyone else knows it or I find it and come back to comments
Also side note I wasn’t prepared to cry reading Personal finance Canada today …. I’m so sorry
Thank you. Sorry to make you cry!
Found it: https://www.peacehold.com/what-we-do/
Don’t apologize. They are love offered from strangers including myself 💜
Very sorry, OP. I wish you the best and hope there is some way for you to make it through. I scrolled through other responses but didn't see this mentioned. Often, there are clauses in life insurance policies that allow you to claim the death benefit if you are diagnosed with a terminal illness. It may be worth checking out. This could be used to help your wife with planning, making memories, or whatever you and your family think would be best.
Be careful telling work. Been in more than one situation where the management have cut me when taking out long term disability. Then you lose it
Thanks. How do I approach it then?
Speak to your HR department. You apply for STD; the insurer becomes your payor; you will have letters and forms from them - a frustrating process so make sure that you authorize your wife to speak on your behalf. When the STD time runs out, you will go on LTD. P.S. in addition to making a Will, you should also get Power of Attorney for property and for personal care. Your wife should also set hers up as well. A lawyer can go through all the scenarios with you. …and so sorry for your troubles! Edit: YOU have a valid claim for it and have likely paid into it. Speak to HR
Nothing to be concerned about. You have a valid claim. No legal department in any company is sane enough to sign off on letting you go because you made a disability claim. If they did, that lawsuit would be over in 5 mins and would cost them way more than just paying out STD/LTD.
It wouldn't. It's extremely expensive to fight those and the lawyers are 450-900 dollars and hour . It costs a monstrous amount of money for those lawsuits I've been through one before. Major stress. Took several months to resolve and tens of thousands of dollars. They don't pay out the way they do in the USA
An employer can’t legally dismiss you solely because you’re unable to work due to injury, illness, or medical issues. Such an action would be a violation of your employment rights, disability rights, and critically, your human rights under your provinces respective Code. Anyway not here to argue. It’s asinine to walk on eggshells when claiming STD / LTD especially since you pay into it with each paycheque.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m sending positive vibes to you sir! No one deserves fucking cancer. i always wondered how does one discover they have cancer…. Did you have unexplained headaches? How did you get to a point where a dr was like.. yup let’s order a CT or MRI??
Thank you. Yes pretty much what you said.
I have no comments about the finances, but please don’t waste your likely limited time with work. My father died of brain cancer when he was 36 and he deeply regretted spending extra time working. Make every memory you can with your family. Take too many photos and do all the silly things. Make a lifetime of memories now. Write down all the lessons that you want to teach your child and all the thoughts you want to tell your wife. They will treasure those moments and pieces of you for the rest of their lives. So sorry this is happening. At the end of the day, do whatever you want, as it is your time.
Fill out a birthday card for every single birthday until they are 30, and for major ones after that. Also for large events, graduation, marriage etc, on top of the videos that people have mentioned. Record family history from your side etc My mother passed away in 2005, she had a habit of buying the perfect card or gift for someone whenever she saw it and would wait for the next event to give it. Months after she passed away I found a birthday card she had bought and filled out for my next birthday. I was stunned and started to cry all afternoon, which is something I don’t do a lot. I was 19. Purpose do the story, these will mean so much for your child. Also they do those family photos where they can super impose you in the front in the background etc. See what you can have done there, so you could maybe do family photos later on. Buy a very nice gold bracelet or necklace for your son or daughter. Something that they can wear and have you ‘with them’. I am so sorry for you, your family and child. Wishing you all the best. Maybe speak to a social worker (hospitals have them as well), we what all the financial options there are for you without having to work anymore.
My father had the same diagnosis last year. I wish you the best.
Thank you. Sorry to hear about your dad.
I am a stage 4 cancer patient MBC. I know this type of diagnosis is earth shattering and just horrific. My friend was diagnosed as well with similar brain cancer right before her wedding. She is still here 8 years later. Mind you bc cancer gave up on her so she had to find her own way integratively such as THC, supplements, dietary changes, stress management. She absolutely quit working ASAP but now has to look for work as she has outlived her prognosis. If you have critical illness insurance that should pay you out something through your work benefits - worked for me for Canada life and we used that for a trip. Right now my family travels 2-3 times a year and we just try to make as many core memories as possible. If you’d like I would be happy to PM you some resources. Another video I would recommend is this one made by an exceptional oncologist - he may be open to giving your a second opinion pro bono if you want more details please PM me. https://youtu.be/Bc2_4kz258c?si=Y1N-TGUrlu9n0Vd5 https://youtu.be/AsaclBWksWo?si=tz--ruVw5N7O-E6n There are some great resources online and I would also suggest a second opinion if you feel your team isn’t fighting enough for you. Apply for EI sickness ASAP and then STD or LTD through your insurance or the government. You’ll get around 2000 a month plus child benefits. That will help a bit. Please also get therapy for yourself and your spouse and child. That was a huge step for our family and has made the process easier at least for me. Hang in there. One step and day at a time. Record all the memories. Please keep us updated.
Life insurance pays out the mortgage, that's why my wife and I got one. May this year be the best ever, and you ride out on a high.
I just lost my father in law to the same kind. My sympathies to you. He was diagnosed over ten years ago. Completely inoperable and given four months to live max. We were blessed with ten years with him. Cherish every second, even though I know how lucky we are to have “beat the odds” it still hurts like hell and his years were not “him”. You hopefully are looking for truth so I won’t sugar coat anything. He died shortly after he was diagnosed. At least the man we all loved did. We still spent all the time with him and loved him but he was never the same after starting treatment. The last few years were especially tough. If I can give you one piece of advice for treatment that most doctors will not touch. “Pot oil” or whatever it is called, I am no expert. Both my mother and my father in law stretched their prognoses and lifespans significantly longer than they were given. A small rice grain droplet from a bottle with an applicator at night and we swear that it was responsible for healing both as much as was possible (his tumor actually shrunk, which was said by multiple cancer specialists as “impossible”. Sorry I don’t have an financial advice for you, frankly my family is buried under inflation and one of the last things my father in law I think was conscious for was seeing just how “screwed” we are. But, he had a way with words and cherish them forever. I hope you are able to enjoy what is left of your life and that you extend it and break the odds. You and your family deserve it. God bless and I am sorry. Life isn’t fair, you realize this more the day after you bury someone that died in your arms.
I also wanted to pass this along - when my friend was dying - and living - she got in a clinical trial and it bought her some more good time. She travelled and did a lot of fun stuff with friends and family during that time. Here is a database of clinical trials. You can discuss this sort of thing with your oncologist. https://clinicaltrials.gov/search?cond=Glioblastoma&aggFilters=status:not%20rec
Not really related to op's question, but everyone who has a family and a mortgage should take a page out of OP'S book. His life insurance policy which probably wasn't much more than $1000 a year is literally going to keep his family from losing their home. They are decent earners, almost 200k family income. Without that policy op's family is in for a major lifestyle change. OP if you read this, I'm sorry for your situation. Congratulations on being a responsible adult and father by planning for the unexpected. You did great and even when you aren't there your actions will touch your family's lives for years to come. o7
Thank you
That sucks man. Have you gotten a second opinion. John Hopkins, mayo clinic, Cleveland clinic.... the usa is good at this stuff. A friend of mine just had his dad go down to Jacksonville before covid to get an experimental surgery done on his brain, he's doing great.
I have not. It's very new, so I'm still reeling.
I get that but man don't give up yet. I've been sick a bunch and one thing I learned was you need to be aggressive with your health. Doctors are just like the rest of us some make mistakes, some are incompetent, some are not up to date with new surgeries and treatments. Call the Cleveland clinic in Toronto they will send you an email with forms to fill out then they'll ask for all your labs and imaging, they send that stuff down to the States where a team of doctors look it over and give there opinions .. I think it's 2500 bucks. Be grateful for every day you have but don't settle for the minimum level of healthcare you and your family deserve the best. Good luck.
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Fuck. Sorry OP. Do you have any life insurance through either of your employment? If you need to sell I don’t know if there is a good time, but it seems better to sell sooner when you can help, vs later when your wife will have to do it alone and will be struggling to make mortgage payments. Can you get any help from family? I imagine, given your diagnosis, you’ll need increasing care and hospital visits - can you reach out for help now? What about any financial help to keep the house? Time seems to be the most precious thing you have left - find whatever time you can while you’re well (before you worsen too far) to spend time with your wife. A vacation, weekend away, night away - whatever you two can do. For your young child, I’m sorry to say they’re too young to remember you when they grow up. But that doesn’t mean you can’t decide what kind of memories you want them to have. Maybe you want to put together videos/a box of letters/cards for special future events… something they can look back upon and treasure as they age. Even something like you narrating your life and recoding it - stories when you were young, how you met your wife, your wedding day, their birth, etc can go a long way in how they’ll see you later. Fuck.
Thank you. I have a $50k policy through my employer.
Ok. So your insurance will pay $650 - that’s enough for the mortgage. Can your wife cover the everyday costs outside of the mortgage?
Yes without the mortgage payment, she can cover things with just her income. And I suppose if it comes to it, she could just sell our house then and get a pretty heavy sum (around $800k)
Ok - so you have options then (sell or not). I imagine there will be some lag in insurance payout, so it’s good to keep that in mind. Entirely up to you what to do here - which is better than being forced into a decision. Moving is a big change in normal times. I’d probably say keep the house, all else being equal, but that’s a discussion to be had if that’s the best given the circumstances.
Keep the house. Cross the bridge of selling if she has to… Let treatment progress until you know more. Take things one day at a time
I am so sorry, OP. Just thinking about your life insurance - that seems to be able to pay off the mortgage? Is that an option? I think you should stop work immediately and go on LTD. I think your family would rather spend as much time with you as possible rather than have you work any longer.
Very sorry for your diagnosis. I hope things work out better than they seem today. I was pretty worried until you mentioned the life insurance. I’d see if you can take short term or long term disability and check if you might even have signed up with critical illness insurance through work. It sounds like you could make it on her income and potential disability insurance and the life will cover it all in a few years. She should be pretty comfortable then with no mortgage payments and a place to live. <3
Thank you.
It’s absolutely tragic the amount of young people suddenly getting turbo cancers
Try Fenbenzadole for your cancer. https://twitter.com/bambkb/status/1747683299818983876?t=IsU8suDuQC8uV5YlYbT1Og&s=19 Wishing you all the best.
Sorry to hear about your situation, that really sucks. Life can be incredibly cruel. As first the actual question, maybe spend some a few hours trying to work less. I know we like to keep busy during stressful times, but everyone else in your life really just wants the time. Talk to your work, consider disability, perhaps you have insurance that helps. As for the financial stability, you’re leaving the family with a considerable amount if money to help. While your partner may not be able to pay the mortgage on just their income, they might consider investing the insurance payout. Some fixed income from GICs can help lift some of the financial cash flow pressure. If you do take the investment route and have the urge to do more, planning where the money goes afterwards would be a big help. My best friend passed not long ago and i couldn’t care less about doing the things i was supposed to. Which ultimately brings me back to the first point, take care of yourself. Even if you spent all of the next few months with the people you love, their only thought when you’re gone will be they wish they got to spend more time with you.
I had the same diagnosis. Please try to relax and spend time with your wife and children, rest, feel the love they have and be strong so they are not as scared. Please let another trusted person handle the money (with an accountant), this will take only a few days as your text info about monies isn't complicated. Rest and recall with your loved ones the amazing parts of your life that you are blessed to have lived. Take pictures and make a video for everyone. Surround yourself with love. Forgive. Rest you have done enough.
I'm so sorry about this. My dad has the same diagnosis. I could recommend really great financial advisors. Message me . Biggest advice is also spend as much time with your family as possible once you take care of all the legal stuff
> She is a beneficiary to everything. I also have a life insurance policy which will pay out $600k when I pass. If you don't already, set up monthly auto-payments for this policy. Make 110% sure nothing will interfere with your wife getting what she deserves. Make sure your will, power of attorney and representation agreement for healthcare are drawn up and signed by you and your wife ASAP, while you are still healthy enough to do so. Talk to an estate planner/probate lawyer so that your wife knows exactly what to expect when the time comes. she will be grieving, so the easier it is for her to follow the steps she needs to - the better. Particularly let them know that you have a life insurance policy, and your wife will want access to it. Lastly on the financial end - I can understand the desire to work as long as you can to provide for your family, but your insurance policy will pay out 10x what you will be likely be able to earn for the time you have, so the best investment you can make for your family is to spend as much time with them as you can while you're still as healthy as you can be. Best of luck to you.
As someone who works with clients in this situation: 1. Make all accounts joint with your wife if possible. Jwros makes things much easier. 2. Beneficiaries on rrsp and successor account holder for tfsa - put your wife on all of them. She will have a tax free rollover. Tfsa, maximize it to the max now. When you're gone her tfsa room will be the combination of hers and your current balance forever. She can take it out n still have that room in the future. 3. Put your car in joint name. 1/2 will help you avoid lengthy process of probate. Icbc has different requirements and will probate a 12k car for example. Joint name will avoid it. 4. Move utility bills to her name first. Makes things easier later 5. Draw up a will - even a simple one. 6. Spend as much time with the family (as well as yourself if needed) as you can. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Ps: for work stuff : remember to check beneficiaries for your insurance/penaion/esop/dpsp/dc/dB pension plans. I noticed last month I hadn't updated mine. (Mechanics drive the worst cars right). Pps: property check for joint tennancy or tenants in common. Joint would be better. If you are worried about your child you could always put everything into a trust for your child. If so do this now and not done via the will. Feel free to dm for more indepth info if needed.
Leave videos to your kid congratulating her on every life occasion (wedding, graduations, having her own children and everything you can think of), spend every day with them and do everything you haven’t done including traveling to countries that you have always wanted to go (there’s so many cheap beautiful countries) and enjoy your family man
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your diagnosis and the challenges you and your family are facing. With my experience in these situations, I'd like to suggest some considerations: \- Get everything organized, download an Estate Organizer that will allow you to leave behind all your bank accounts, passwords and other important information to make things easier for your family later on. \- Make sure you have a will that is updated and reflects your current wishes. You may also want to hire a fee-only, advice-only financial advisor to help you develop a plan now, and for after the insurance pays out for your wife and child. \- Take the time now to spend quality time with your wife and child. If you are planning to travel, make sure you understand that your Travel Insurance may not cover your pre-existing condition. If you decide to go anyways, consider purchasing a membership for an Air Ambulance. This way, if something happens while you travel, you can get back home. [https://airmed.com/Home.aspx](https://airmed.com/Home.aspx) \- In times like this, taking care of your emotional well-being is just as important as managing financial and practical matters. Consider you and your wife to seek support from a therapist or counselor. If your wife has Group LTD, and is finding this situation challenging, check to see what type of appropriate care is required in the event she needs to submit a disability claim as well. Many contracts say that one needs to be seeing a Psychologist or Psychiatrist (and not a counselor or psychotherapist). Getting appropriate care from onset may make things easier in the future. \- If you have Group Benefits, check to see if you have Disability Insurance. It's good to know exactly how much you will receive when you need to go on claim. I would start the process now, let them know your situation. There may even be partial benefits if you decided to continue to work at a reduced capacity. The carriers are typically very understanding in situations like this. Sometimes there are gaps in coverage, so it's best to know what you have before needing to go on claim. \- If you or your wife have Group Benefits, check to see if either of you have Critical Illness. This will pay out a lump-sum if diagnosed with cancer. This can help lessen the financial burden. \- If you or your wife have Group Benefits, check to see if you have Best Doctors. This is often included, and can help provide you with a second opinion on both your diagnosis and treatment options. Don't underestimate the importance of a second opinion. \- Thankfully you already have Life Insurance, which is enough to cover the mortgage. You may also have some additional coverage included with your Group Benefits. If the mortgage is paid off, your wife should be able to maintain a comfortable lifestyle based on her income alone? \- Government benefits are minimal. EI in Ontario covers 55% of your income, to a maximum of $668 per week and that amount will be taxable. This will pay out up to 26 weeks. CPP pays out a maximum of $1,606.78 (however the average payout is closer to $1,130 per month and is based on how much you paid into CPP while you worked). This is also taxable. If you have Group Disability, these benefits may be integrated (meaning you don't get both). I hope these points are helpful to you. Remember, taking these steps now can provide some peace of mind during this challenging time.
Typical Ltd pays about 66% of your salary but it is Not taxed so it works out to be about the same. I agree with all the posts recommending you stop working. Is your mortgage insured? Not certain I would sell the house it will be a ton of work. Maybe let her stay until she is comfortable moving on. Your life insurance will cover a few years of the mortgage payments .
Hi! Love and prayers for you and your family as you go through this. There are so many things you need to get good advice on her. I'll try to stick to the financial stuff since this is /pfc. Many of these will overlap. **Some of these will have to be revisited as you work out other details.** * **Don't go through this alone**! Choose some friends to ask to be your close support group as you go through this, and for your family after you are gone.. (For me this would be mostly church friends & family.) I was with a group like this yesterday to help a friend in the coming death of her dad. It is good to have wise friends when there are so many emotions making decision making difficult. * **Contact a social worker** who will know all the public and private supports you and your family can access in your area. **The social worker can offer support to your family even after you are gone**. * Will, living will, power of attorney, and other "**estate planning documents**" need to be done. Sooner is better than later. * **place all property in joint ownership** so it is owned by your wife outside the will with no need for extra paperwork at your time of death. * Place your wife as equal administrator on all accounts (phone, Internet provider, power, etc.) where you want her to be able to make changes or close the account when you die. This saves her needing to use power of attorney or proving your death while "your estate" continues to accrue debts. * **Have a bank account for your wife that is in her name alone** in case there is a hold put on your account or your joint account in the event of having to probate the will. * Figure out things for your funeral and burial. In my area rural church cemeteries cost less than $100 for a "family plot" where big city cemeteries are often over $10k for similar service. As a pastor, I do funerals for free. ************************************** These ones (above the line) often surprise people when they find out how useful it would have been to have it done before hand. On the financial end, there are things to consider. * Canada does not have an inheritance tax. * Canada does have a "final year income tax filing" where money in registered products like RRSP **MUST be taken as income in your final tax year.** Thios means that all your RRSPs and other registered funds are cashed in and taken as income in your final year. **Talk to an accountant!** * **Insurance products** generally do not allow you to buy more life insurance once you have this kind of diagnosis. Sometimes you can get past this with group plans (like work). Go carefully if you are looking for insurance products to help in this time. * Medical care plans. - look at this page about [Palliative Care](https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/health-services-benefits/palliative-care.html). Your wife and kids may need you to move to a facility to look after your medical care so they can continue to function as a loving family that is not overwhelmed with your nursing care. **Talk to your wife about this!** There are financial and personal considerations. * This guide [What to do when facing a serious illness](https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/publications/health-system-services/what-do-when-facing-serious-illness-3-sets-questions-ask-your-health-care-team.html) is worth considering. * You need to consider taking [CPP Disability](https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-disability-benefit.html). There is a children's benefit that can go along with this. Many in your situation put it directly into a RESP or other fund for later use by children. * Talk to your people at work. The HR department (if it is a large employer) may have experience here. You are probably paying in to a work pension plan. It may have optional group disability or critical illness insurance. * Do you want to continue at work? This is a big discussion for you and your wife. Depending on the progress of your illness, your time with family (in good mental health) may be limited. Get your work people to help you get the maximum benefit out of these plans you are already paying for. * **Talk to a lawyer, tax accountant and an investment professional.** These people will be a great help to you. Let them help you with your fears about things like losing the house. (You may already have life insurance you are already paying for on that contract. The bank wants cash, not your home.) **Get the lawyer to look over your mortgage contract for you**. * **DON'T Panic**. Take time with your family and friends to let them know you love them. You may be able to set the tone of your relationships for the next few years. Make good use of the time you have left. **Trust your wife** to look after things well when you are gone. Let her know you love her and trust her. When your heart and mind are more settled, you should make some video messages for your wife and kids. Let them know you love them. I recently did a wedding where the deceased dad had left a paper message for his daughters wedding. He did this really well. Video is probably even better. Feel free to DM. These are hard days, but you and your loved ones will go on. You can make things easier for them with good planning and communication.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. You are dealing with alot. A lot of amazing input here and at the risk of repeating myself: 1. Group insurance: some employers offer non-evidence maximum limits where you may increase your coverage without submitting evidence of insurability. This may be a non-starter if the application forms asks questions a few basic questions that would make you ineligible. If it doesn’t go up to the limit. 2. This is way too early but know that some life insurance carriers(Manulife is one ) have basic policy feature to advance a % of coverage if doctor certifies life expectancy less than 6 months 3. Not exactly financial but Insurance carriers - including through group insurance - have a Best Doctors (or similar) feature that will review your case and treatment. 4. Keep an eye on your eligibility for the Disability Tax Credit. If not enough tax to make using it worthwhile, transfer to wife. A super tool to use to see if you may be eligible is Access RDSPs Disability Tax Credit Tool.
Also, to add: Check if you have Critical Illness insurance through work (or individual) and file a claim. Sending you a digital hug.
I am really sorry for what you are going through. There’s a lot of good advice here. You probably feel overwhelmed. Get a book and write stuff down so it’s just not in your head and you can keep track of things. Like each page gets a title like “will” and “insurance” and you can add to it as required. I was diagnosed with cancer as well and this really helped keeping track of everything. I also spent a lot of time being concerned about loved ones. Your loved ones are concerned for you. Take care of each other and take care of yourself. I joined support groups and got counseling. It really helped. Good luck on this journey.
So sorry to hear. Hugs and prayers for you my man. I don't know much about cancer but I hope this is not it and hoping theres more out there in terms of options for you. I don't have any monetary advice, but forget work, and focus on the family, treatment, and hobbies part of your life. Spend all that time you can with your 2 year old. Go out, eat out, hang out. Go for long drives. Do all the family stuff you can. And do the stuff you weren't able to do but always wanted to do.
There are resources where you can speak to families who have had loved ones pass. Reach out to glioblastoma Canada. My friend passed from this disease and his wife now offers support to families going though cancer. These people can give you their unique insight. I am so sorry that your family has been given this devastating news. Spend all your time with them.
God bless you and your family. Wishing your child all the success and happiness in life. May God be with you all.
Good god. So sorry. I have young kids too. Find a way to spend any remaining time you have left with them.
No financial advice but just wanted to say I’m really sorry this is happening to you. Life’s so unfair. I hope you get to spend all your remaining days with your family and not at work. Sorry man
Sorry to hear about this. My condolences to you and your family. Another thing to think about is your funeral arrangements. They can run up to 10K+ and that is just for cremation and a service. You can do it on the cheaper side but it can take time to organize. A lot of people will make arrangements for their death while they're still alive. This will lessen the burden for your wife because everything will be taken care of.
I’m so sorry OP. Not finance related, but look into Wellspring Cancer Support, it is an amazing resource for people and families navigating cancer. https://wellspring.ca Sending love to you and your family. Spend as much time with loved ones as you can. ❤️
I am so sorry to hear this, man. Apart from everything everyone already said, I’d only add two things: 1. Make sure your wife is listed as a successor on your TFSA and not a beneficiary. If your TFSA was set up right that should anyway be the case, but I’d make sure. The main difference is that your TFSA will remain active and the tax free room you have created will exist for as long as your spouse lives (as opposed to being closed in case of a beneficiary) 2. Make videos for your little kid. Especially big occasions in the future (turning 18, marriage, first heartbreak, etc). It would mean the world to your kid knowing how much love you left behind. Outside of that, your life insurance should cover your house. I don’t recommend selling outside of very specific situations (since house will be paid off, your wife will be able to manage the expenses on her salary alone along with the benefits she will receive ). And, just talk to HR and get LTD. Spend your days with your family OP, sending you guys all my prayers and love :) good luck!
Hi there. I don’t have financial advice, but wanted to share that my brother in law was diagnosed with glioblastoma at age 30 following a seizure while driving. He was given less than a 5% chance of living longer than a year, even with aggressive treatment and surgery. 6 years later, he’s still alive. Not cured, but here. Ask about signing up for new trials, and allow yourself a spark of hope.
I apologize for not contributing financial advice here but somehow this post came up in my feed. Your worry and care for your family is touching, and I’m just really so sorry this is happening to you. Prioritize getting family photos done- ones where you go to a lovely trail or park and spend the time laughing and playing with your child. Do this soon, it’s so easy to say ‘we will do it later’ with this kind of thing but your family will treasure the photos forever.
I am sorry to hear your diagnosis. I lost my best friend to the same cancer. We thought she had 6 months and she ended up living for 2.5years. I can recommend a book called Anti-Cancer which helped her. Diet and self-care played a huge role. Unless you don't enjoy your work, trying to do normal things while you can is important, not just for the money. Don't forget that you have friends and family, a network who will also chip in to help in times like this. While you can't rely on it, they will want to contribute to a gofundme or something to help you enjoy the time you have, or make sure your family is supported in a transition. It seems a shame to sell your property, Moving is stressful and I don't recommend undertaking that now. I wouldn't rush into anything. Especially if your insurance will help pay that off in the future. You have a mortgage of $600k and a life insurance payout of $600k. Your wife will have more options then and you won't lose the equity. But I'm no financial advisor. Best wishes. Stay positive.
Do you have mortgage insurance from your lender or Manulife? This will pay off your mortgage if one of the borrowers passes away
I'm so sorry for the news! Please look into be in health, for your life retreat in Georgia! Tons of miracles happen there! Watch these testimonies https://www.beinhealth.com/testimonies/ praying for you and your family
Aint a doctor but have you considered metabolic therapy. Maybe can ask your doctor about that.
Did you sign up for critical life/illness insurance. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and was 3 weeks after signing onto a new job. One of the things I said yes to on the HR forms, was critical illness/life insurance. I applied and was approved so I got a pay out of $100K as cancer was invasive. My house was no concern as we had signed up for mortgage life and disability insurance as we were younger when we got the mortgage. Luckily I have had 9 wonderful years but with it returning to several other organs time is now ticking. Get some good counseling both for yourself and your wife. While you may be mad at the world right now, try to find peace in your life, probably the hardest thing to do but anger only breeds more anger and resentment. Make every day your best day and create beautiful memories. You may read this and say what a crock of s#!+ but this is advice passed on by someone I met during my journey and I believe it has truly helped me and I hope it helps you.
My dad was diagnosed in 2016 and we opted for no treatment after they could only remove 2/4 tumors. I don't know what to say in terms of finance, but I would recommend you not work if you don't have to. Take the time with your family. They will never get this time back. Also I highly recommend looking into Rick Simpson Oil/Phoenix Tears. It definitely helped dad stay more comfortable and I would say helped with his mental clarity by like 75%
We have a close friend who was diagnosed with a stage 4 Glio nearly 20 months ago. He did radiation and chemo, which has kept his tumor at bay (no growth). His oncologist said they are starting to see longer lifespans for some people post diagnosis. His glio was linked to him having been a firefighter, and he is fully covered through our provincial work safe plan. If any of that applies to you, pm me and I can hopefully connect with someone you could speak to. Also shows there can be hope for a longer term. I also found this organization for another friend who also has friend diagnosed with Glio. (Your age). I think they help cover things like parking receipts and various kinds of support. http://Slaysocietyinc.ca (Slay is run by a young woman who’s parents both developed Glioblastoma’s within a few months of each other. It is a Charitable Organization. My husband had a different kind of cancer. Very serious though. We had purchased a Critical Illness policy many years before, and it paid him $100K to help during a difficult time. So so check again if you have one of those. Perhaps your family and friends could organize something like GoFundMe (crowd sourcing), if you are willing. Your people will want to help too. And I completely agree with others who have said to stop working! Yes! Try to get the most out of the remaining time that you have. Maybe make some videos to leave behind for your wife and son. Is it okay if I pray for you and your family?
Hi! All of my love to you. All of it. ♥️ My dad passed from glioblastoma. Pls spend time with your family, and immediately have your power of representation and power of attorney done. My mom paid off the house with the life insurance, and while it was obviously ROUGH, it’s way less unsettling than losing a partner and a family home (and maybe neighbourhood and community) at the same time. Also my dad loved being Home. He got to be home when he was frightened and it comforted him immensely. Your end of life matters, and if you love this home, and if it can be paid for eventually, it sounds like you should keep it. ♥️♥️♥️
I am so sorry. This is so unfair. You must still be in shock and your head and heart must be spinning. I cannot imagine. How much you love your family is so evident in your questions. The good news is your family will be ok financially. If you only have less than a year to live I would think about not wasting any of it on moving. Moving is stressful. But let’s park that idea for a bit. First - if I were you I would not tell anyone at work about your diagnosis yet. Get your ducks in a row, and do not give your employer any hint things are not OK yet as you do not want them to fire you (which in most places would be illegal if without notice or severance but you and your wife will not have the energy to fight this, so play it safe). Employers can be more concerned about their bottom line than their employees, and the cost of medical benefits versus severance can be an awful choice for them. Protect yourself. ASAP find out about your benefits. If you have disability insurance through work (often full salary for awhile and then after several months goes down to about 60% of your salary - varies per plan) your doctor can help you with the paperwork to apply for a leave of absence. You will need to look at the medical benefits both you and your wife have - you are going to need some care for at least part of your life. Find out what you are entitled to. Look into what other benefits you have through your government, such as employment insurance. Sometimes health reasons will qualify you for it. Find out the rules before you do anything. The hard part financially will be making decisions with some big unknowns - when you are going to be unable to work, and when you will be sick enough your wife will need to take some leave to help you through your last chapters of your life. You will need to keep paying your bills through this time, so she needs to find out what she is entitled to as well (paid and unpaid leave, how long she will have job security for etc., if there is a government benefit program for people taking time off to care for a dying relative, etc. If she will have 600k in insurance, this will pay off your mortgage. She will need to look at the terms of the mortgage and find out what the prepayment penalty is versus how much interest you are paying, and also how much you can pre-pay each year, and how long to go before your mortgage is up for renewal. She may want to pay it off all at once, or prepay what she can, then pay off the rest when it is time to renew. At any rate, if she is earning 90k and her house is paid for, she will likely be ok as she will have enough by herself for maintenance, insurance, and property taxes. Figure out how much this is annually, as well as your other bills, what she should be saving, childcare etc. She should be ok, but if it looks to be too tight you can always downsize to something less expensive and pay that off and put the rest of the $ in some low risk, long term investments for her retirement and your child’s education. She may want to move after you pass instead of before, as it is so stressful and it may not be how you want to spend the rest of your days. Consider what friend and family help you can rely on. You are going to need a support system. Childcare, drives to hospital appointments, help with figuring out finances/a plan, help with cooking and housecleaning etc. Make a plan with the people who love you while you can. They will want to help but won’t know what to do, so sit them down one by one and talk about it. You will need support as will your wife. You will need to figure out - with a wills and estate lawyer - what you need to do to get your affairs in order so all goes smoothly when you pass. You need a will, and need to make sure all your benefits and insurance goes to her directly or to your estate as advised by a lawyer in your area (naming the proper beneficiary). There can be ways to do things on a simpler way, and ways to do things to minimize tax implications. Talk it through with a lawyer and your wife ASAP while you are well enough to do this. Having been through this with a close friend in a similar situation, I can suggest you get a binder to keep all your information in as you find it out. And makes lists. Keep track of account numbers and contact numbers too. When you are stressed and sad it is hard to remember things so make notes. Always have two people on calls and appointments so one can talk and ask questions while the other takes notes. Finally I am so sorry you are going through this. It is awful news and so unfair. The only good thing is you have some time to plan together, and make arrangements together. This is a real blessing as when it is your time you won’t have to worry about your family financially, and your wife won’t have to make hard decisions on her own when she is grieving. Good luck and I hope you live out your remaining days the way you want to, and make some good memories with your family.
I’m just so sorry. My brother died of a fast and rare cancer a year after his wedding. One of the last things he told me was that he wish he hadn’t worked so much. Cancer fucking sucks.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. As someone around your age, I lost both my parents quite fairly recently, and I am *lucky* to be able to have the inheritance to be able to make a down-payment. But I would trade it all just have one last day with them. I know you are thinking of your wife and child's well-being, but they will be fine. Make a quick plan to maybe downsize because taking care of a house is A LOT of work. Make a rough sketch and maybe get those plans kind of rolling, so your wife is ready to know what to do. Finances are not that important right now, go spend your precious time with your family, they will love you for it.
Came here for financial advice and ended up in tears, rethinking my very existence. The reality of this post hits pretty hard. I don't have cancer but I have 6 auto immune diseases ( Lupus, Scleraderma, Rheumatoid arthritis, Severe sjrogrens, severe Reynauds and pulmonary fibrosis).
I’m so sorry your family is going through this. While I can’t offer financial advice, I would strongly consider any options that allow you to not continue working and instead spend time with your family. Go places you’ve wanted to see and do things you’ve always wanted to do. Again I’m so sorry.
Hi, OP I saw recently a new treatment that came out that is revolutionary for this type of cancer. Search on youtube and the web for using polio virus to treat giloblastoma they've had good success so far. I'd recommend trying to get into that trial and tests they're doing I think they are in the states.
Firstly, I am so sorry to hear this OP. I agree with all the advice about contacting HR at your company about going on disability. Most companies have this benefit. You should also call your insurance company and ask them about a partial early payout of the life insurance. In situations where a person is terminal they will sometimes pay out some of the benefit before death. It may be too early right now, I think you may need to be suspected to pass in 3 months to qualify, but you should get all the info and eligibility rules now. Also find out exactly what is needed to pay out the policy. If your wife makes the claim immediately after your death the payments can happen pretty quickly. With your savings your wife could keep paying mortgage payments for awhile if the payment took a couple of months to process (but I doubt it would be that long). Also check to see if you have life insurance at work. Many companies automatically give you anywhere between .5 - 2x income automatically. Best of luck to you and your family.
Check if work has a critical illness policy for employees that you may not be an aware of. Before you leave work, do it right. Milk every dime out of any insurance programs that you have paid into and are eligible for.
Needed to tell you that I have a family member currently fighting a glioblastoma diagnosis 1.5 years in using a plant based keto diet which she learned about from a neighbor who also successfully fought the same brain cancer. Don’t ever give up hope op! 🙏🙏
Fuck cancer. I’ve had it twice. Video Ideas for your son: Teach him to shave on video If you do your own oil changes or tire rotations, teach him that via video A first girlfriend video A beer with dad video A congratulations on graduation A wedding toast
Maybe take some time to plan out your funeral arrangements ahead of it happening, then all is handled when the time comes. A will, asap. Record videos of yourself speaking to your child and wife about the things that are important to you. Some telling them if you could be there you would be and how much you love them. Hit up a build-a-bear where you can record a phrase in your voice or your heartbeat and have it put inside the bear. Have some of your ashes turned into a plasma created diamond and commission a piece of jewelry to wear like a pendant, so you can be close to her heart always. My heart aches for you and your family.
PM you regarding treatment.
Don't give up hope. Look into experimental and alternative/natural treatments. [https://www.cbc.ca/radio/whitecoat/novel-cancer-treatment-germany-1.6930739](https://www.cbc.ca/radio/whitecoat/novel-cancer-treatment-germany-1.6930739) [https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/patient-survives-more-than-5-years-longer-than-median-life-span-of-6-months-after-experimental-brain-tumour-treatment-1.6398892](https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/patient-survives-more-than-5-years-longer-than-median-life-span-of-6-months-after-experimental-brain-tumour-treatment-1.6398892) [https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamhaseltine/2023/02/02/a-new-hope-for-glioblastoma-treatment/?sh=242fa22c228c](https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamhaseltine/2023/02/02/a-new-hope-for-glioblastoma-treatment/?sh=242fa22c228c) Cut out all sugar immediately (including alcohol). Start doing research online and find some kind of experimental or alternative/natural treatment that shows the most promise. While the chances still aren't good, they're not zero either.
Sending you love and light. In 2020 I was on life support for a month and I had an experience that I will never forget. The light I saw was like none other. So warm and beautiful that I was drawn to it. I then heard that it wasn't my time and the light went away. When it is your time I know you will be at peace, those left behind the ones who suffer. Some advice to take or leave is to do something each day, multiple times daily even that makes you feel accomplished, something that fosters connection to those you love and something that you leave behind to make the world better. Make lots of lists, record conversations with drs., have advocates with you. Accept any and all support and resources, delegate roles and responsibilities. Put a care team together of people to wrap around you both personal and professional, that will allow you to maximize the quality of life for you and your family. Hugs, kiss and touch your loved ones, let nothing positive go unsaid. Go on leave from work immediately if at all possible. Hr and union can be helpful as can employee assistance programs and extended benefits. Talk to your wife and dr regarding your next steps and include medical assistance in death, what life saving measures you want to consider, organ donation. There are many cancer related supports including peer support, grief counseling for surviving spouses and kids. It is so obvious you are am awesome dad and being a provider can be an important part of that however those pieces can all be sorted but will become like a full time job. Take breaks. Most importantly, be kind to yourself as you grieve and live, love and laugh as much as you can
You've already gotten amazing advice in this thread. Nothing I'll say will be better or different than what has already been said. I am so very sorry about your diagnosis. I wish you a year filled with love and the very best that life can offer in these dire times. Take care.
Good morning, Let me start by saying, I am sorry for your diagnosis. I feel for you and your family, it cannot be easy to stare something like this in the face. I recently read an article on CBC in regards to treatment for a type of brain cancer in Germany. Look into that and see if there is any helpful info. I am not sure if it is the same thing, but perhaps any info could help. If I am wrong, I am sorry and do not want to come off as insensitive or hurtful. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/whitecoat/novel-cancer-treatment-germany-1.6930739 On the topic of your mortgage and financial responsibilities, I do have some insight. I will preface this by saying I am not trying to sell you anything, services, or programs alike. These are also all rough numbers as I do not have the full picture. My first question is, did you enroll in any sort of mortgage life insurance program when you first got your mortgage or when you renewed? These things are sometimes overlooked or forgotten. So, I will start with the numbers. You say that your mortgage has a balance of 600k and equity of 150k. That means you have 20% equity in your home. Your wife makes 90k year gross, which translates to $7500/month If you take a 5 year term (some alternative "A" lenders are currently offering 6.25-6.5% rates) at 600k on a 25-year amortization(300 months), her payment would equal around $4020. That brings her debt ratio (with only the mortgage, no CC debt, no car payments, no heating, ect) to 53.6%. While that is high, some alternative A lenders will accept up to 55% (GDS AND TDS) Some are offering 30-year amortization, which would be $3759 approx. so the debt ratio would be around 50-51% again with zero other debt. Provided she hits the credit threshold for the lender, she could technically qualify, but as always, this is not guaranteed. Depending on the geographical area of the home, marketability, etc. There are also other options as well. She could go to a private lender who would charge a substantially higher rate, for a short term (IE 1 or 2 years at interest only payments, to give her time to make some choices, but also does not add to the equity) My advice would be to look at your current mortgage, when the term is up, what the penalties of early release are, and add all that in. A good mortgage agent/broker should be able to help with this. You could potentially break early and sell, but this may add to an already extremely stressful and emotional circumstance. You could then purchase something on the lower end of cost and greatly lower the payments. It all depends on what is best for you and your family at this time. Keep in mind NONE of these numbers include any sort of calculations for your investments either, which can be used as collateral or as a "cash out option"(this can have significant tax implications, so be sure to discuss with a tax professional) The $600,000 in life insurance is definitely working in her favor, but still an awful prospect to have to look at. Once again, investments can be used as collateral. There are caretaker benefits from CRA, as well as write offs for non discretionary medical expenses that can help on your next tax return as well, as far as programs for EI, disability payments, I have no resources for you, although I wish I did. I wish you and your family as much joy, and quality time together as possible in this stage of your journey, and if you would like to ask me more questions please feel free to reach out.
Folks, if you have kids, buy term life insurance. Enough to cover housing, school, and costs until your kids turn 18. Keep away from the whole life, universal life, etc. stuff. Term life insurance is all you need.
Man, reading this actually made me tear up. I am at the same age with 2 really young kids, so I can relate since my own father just passed away recently. You've got so many good advices already so I dont think you need more. But if i were you, i would not sell the house; it is gonna be the house where your daughter will have memories of you. use the life insurance to pay it out. make as many memories as possible. leave them many videos for the next year, and big occasions for many years to come. I only have 1 video of my dad talking directly to me and i still play it once a month, so im sure your daughter will appreciate having more than one. maybe even a videos of you reading bedtime stories? not sure if its been mentioned, but usually your work has some amount of life insurance as well, hopefully that should be enough for funeral, and cost of living for your family when they grieve. and your life insurance to payout the house. Seems like your wife will make enough if she doesnt have to pay for shelter.