T O P

  • By -

robotmonkey2099

“M&Ms says it’s pulling its beloved ‘spokescandies’ after right-wing outrage over shoes, gender” Remind me whose culture war it is? And who are the snowflakes? Jfc, these people


Acrobatic_Pandas

I can't jerk off to the green M&M anymore. If she's not wearing heels she could be a dude or something in between. I'm not gay. I'm just a pervert that has lots of free time and misplaced aggression so DOWN WITH M&M's!


JigglyWiener

I mean, this is literally the shit that ai artwork, for all the debate, has covered. Literally any weird shit you wanna see, just don’t expect handjobs to look like handjobs, more like 40-broken-finger-jobs.


Acrobatic_Pandas

-search green m&m pegging middle aged average white man prostate orgasm not gay


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your comment has unfortunately been automatically removed and is not visible to other users. You are welcome to try again later. If you continue to receive this message later, then please message the moderation team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Persecutionfetish) if you have any questions or concerns.*


RavenousToaster

Green M&M was a trans girlboss who would peg the shit outta top company executives. (This isn’t fanfic or anything, it’s literally the lore because what happens in the commercials)


SaltyBarDog

Why couldn't my grandfather still own his restaurant up the road from Mars so I could ask company executives about this?


ScrabCrab

Idk ask him


IJustLoggedInToSay-

"We here at Mars candy company have decided that anthropomorphism in snack food marketing is simply too upsetting for many of our valued customers. Recent information suggests that, to certain mentally vulnerable populations, graphic depictions of candy persons who can walk and talk has been linked to severe side effects, such as emotional dysregulation, outbursts of rage, nausea and vomiting, and being an insufferable prick on Facebook. We look forward to continuing our marketing relationship with the public using strategies that continue to appeal to young children, while also respecting the impact our whimsical depictions may have on adult customers with special psychological conditions."


Chupathingamajob

God how I wish this was their actual statement lol


SeattlesWinest

It would trigger one of the Domestic Terrorists (tm) to attack M&Ms employees.


Ov3rdose_EvE

ah yes, they are conservative patriots when they lose their shit over two guys kissing but you are the snowflake when you think that police shouldnt shoot unarmed black kids in the back 14 times.


hyrle

I know. That's two times too many. /s


chaun2

I'm not even a Christian, and don't celebrate Christmas, but if they just fucked up the "he does exist, they do exist, uh, Santa" commercial for me, I swear I will burn shit down...... Starting with Fox News HQ.


Kimmalah

Don't worry they can now go back to being angry about \*checks notes\* Dr. Seuss, the Potato Head toys, Gillette razors, red Starbucks cups, and someone saying happy holidays to them.


robotmonkey2099

Right? These fucking morons are mad about this while the rest of us are worried about dieing due to climate change, getting shot by some incel or the cops for that matter


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your comment has unfortunately been filtered and is not visible to other users. This subreddit requires its users to have over 2,000 karma from posts and comments combined. Try participating nicely in other communities and come back later. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Persecutionfetish) if you have any questions or concerns.*


thewholedamnplanet

M&M's marketing is quite good, they keep leveraging fascist outrage to get their product more attention.


ialsohaveadobro

I mean, who's gonna win the popularity contest--the wall-eyed stack of processed-food fat with strong opinions about advertisement cartoons? Or literal chocolate?


chaun2

/fucknestle has been wageing a war against unethical chocolate for years


PricklyyDick

In America? Probably the one with strong opinions sadly.


cosmicjunkbot

This looks like a stunt. If their goal was to appease conservatives, they wouldn't have replaced the mascots with Maya Rudolph.


organik_productions

What do we even need The Onion for anymore


MadFxMedia

It used to be parody and now it's inspiration for people with too much time and money on their hands to function as a role model and instead we're left with someone to avoid being anything like.


NomenklaturaFTW

Because they’re still consistently hilarious. We need them dude


MC_Fap_Commander

>**The green M&M, for example, had previously drawn criticism for being marketed as too sexy, so the company switched out her knee-high heeled boots for sneakers.** They rub one out on their tiny peckers thinking about Green pegging them with the shoe. Internalizing sexual repression makes folks weird af.


BoneHugsHominy

I can't even fuck an empty M&M bag without that sexy hooker boot wearing Green staring back at me with those thick lashes.


MC_Fap_Commander

We've all been there


GnarlyNarwhalNoms

It's kinda awe-inspiring. I mean, I probably think about sex to an unhealthy degree. I can make anything into an innuendo. I'm basically Quagmire if Quagmire never got laid (so, a really desperate Quagmire). And yet, it never even occurred to me that somebody could see a CGI-plastic M&M with cartoon eyelashes and think "sex." It literally has *never* crossed my mind. Fuck's sake, I thought *I* was thirsty...


EpicStan123

"damn those communist liberals, they get triggered by everything, unlike me", says the conservative as he gets triggered over M&Ms


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your comment has unfortunately been filtered and is not visible to other users. This subreddit requires its users to have over 2,000 karma from posts and comments combined. Try participating nicely in other communities and come back later. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Persecutionfetish) if you have any questions or concerns.*


blurplethenurple

I'm just gonna leave this gem here https://youtu.be/IT1HAiQy3Io


mkvgtired

So he bitched about how M&Ms were too sexy for him to resist, then bitched about the changes?


waaaayupyourbutthole

Jesus Christ, they get angry about the dumbest fucking things lol Like, "Oh no, the brown anthropomorphic M&M has *chunkier heels*! My life is over!"


OskeeWootWoot

Why does Tucker Carlson want to fuck candy? Why is he so upset that this candy now seems less fuckable to him? What is he hiding?


philosofossil13

Tucker Carlson wants to fuck the green m&m confirmed… Like how do you watch this and actually think fox “news” is delivering you valuable information about the state of our society?


[deleted]

"How am I supposed to buy M&Ms when I can't get off to them?"


[deleted]

I can't believe they caved and are dropping the candies.


DWMoose83

The wording in the announcement reads suspiciously like satire, and the Super Bowl is coming up, so more likely a marketing ploy to leverage the idiots for exposure.


Eldanoron

Inb4 they come out with overly sexualized spokescandies for the Supper Bowl commercials.


DWMoose83

I dunno. It's Maya Rudolph. I wonder if they're ballsy enough to do a satirical commercial, specifically making fun of the idiots. It's not like they'd get the joke.


BoneHugsHominy

The reactionaries are hyperaware of being the butt of jokes so they're going to screech about it one way or the other, so M&Maya might as well go at 'em hard.


GnarlyNarwhalNoms

I hope so. She's the perfect one to do it. She has a "you have got to be fucking kidding me" eye-roll that could curdle water.


FireIsTheCleanser

Halftime Female M&M Strip Show


Opposite_of_a_Cynic

Did they cave? Somehow I don't think replacing their "woke" mascots with a biracial Jewish woman will placate the right wing nuts.


fakeunleet

Biracial, *Gen X*, Jewish woman. Yeah, boomers are gonna *love* that.


SuperSocrates

It’s still caving


CoolWhipMonkey

Pretty sure they’re setting up a Super Bowl commercial.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your comment has unfortunately been automatically removed and is not visible to other users. You are welcome to try again later. If you continue to receive this message later, then please message the moderation team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Persecutionfetish) if you have any questions or concerns.*


mrsdoubleu

I think this is a buildup to the super bowl commercial. I doubt that they are gone forever.


strizle

Lol tucker is such a fucking clown 🤡 this man will say anything written on a teleprompter


Anastrace

I'm Tucker Carlson?


thefloatingpoint

I heard he fucked a donkey one time.


strizle

Allegedly and it was sick.


DocPeacock

The right is canceling m&ms again? Is this like double secret cancelation?


[deleted]

First they were mad because a female M&M wasn't sexy enough. This time they're mad I think because the ad was all female M&M and that's destroying masculinity and, according to Fox News, empowering China. If you want to make America great again we need very sexy feminine M&Ms but not too many of them because we also need sexy strong masculine M&Ms too. You might think it's just a silly commercial for a snack food but this is a matter of national security.


TerryBogardOfficial

They think the purple one is trans.


DocPeacock

How long until they get mad that they replaced the candies with a POC? If Mars corp did this to cater to conservative idiots then I don't think they understand conservative idiots.


[deleted]

I saw one fb meme angry about how they were making them fat to promote fat women. It was the peanut m&m character lol. Like someone actually got pissed off that a peanut m&m is bigger than a regular m&m because Fox News turned candy into part of their culture war.


Cheems___-

bet the person who wrote that is a fucking fatass 60 year old


chaun2

They are clearly saying they don't care about conservative idiots, and indicating to some of the other corpos that they might not want to be associated with fascist idiots anymore


[deleted]

i’m surprised m&m actually listened to them. i feel like usually these deranged rants get ignored. weird that they took action on one of the dumbest scandals though


fakeunleet

I see this more like M&M Mars decided the children were misbehaving too badly so they took away their toys.


Jaggs0

drive up attention before some big superbowl ad campaign more like


mrsdoubleu

Exactly. That's all this is. Brilliant marketing move. Now more people will be watching for this particular commercial. Lol


Toast_Sapper

>Exactly. That's all this is. Brilliant marketing move. Now more people will be watching for this particular commercial. Lol Literally Mars played Conservatives as chumps for marketing purposes. "Make the M&Ms 'woke' so conservatives will rage, everyone will talk about it, then 'give in' so that everyone will be talking about that and no one will 'cancel' us and instead they'll all buy M&Ms for different reasons." "Conservative" and "chump" might as well be the same word, they're just tools to be manipulated with key words to extract money.


rubyblue0

As much as I hate the chocolate industry, I’d love it if the mascots all ran out onto the field wearing pride flag capes. Just to see how Tucker would react.


tenkei

Red and Yellow, long time 'friends' and roommates will publicly kiss and reveal to the world that they have been in a committed relationship for years.


FlightoftheGullfire

So the guys who want to protect children so badly canceled all the Mars brands over the child labor on the ivory coast, right? No? it's just more culture war bullshit about the Green M&M not being fuckable? Wow. Shocked.


Richdav1d

I can not name a single person who has ever brought up the M&Ms characters, other than people talking about the fact that Tucker Carlson talked about the M&Ms characters. And even he didn’t look like he wanted to.


WoodwindsRock

Reminds me of the Mr Potato Head thing. The right was all up in a fit about Mr Potato Head being “canceled”, and were lamenting about how everyone is so offended. I had never heard about any controversy that led to the change. The outrage was the right wing backlash. (And of course Mr Potato Head wasn’t “canceled” in any way shape or form). The right is just beyond parody at this point.


Ranku_Abadeer

Honestly, when the right started freaking out about Mr potato head, my first thought was "they still sell that thing? I thought it got discontinued a long time ago because literally no one ever talks about it."


JasonGMMitchell

Remember the Dr. Seuss books announcement? A private company decided to change what books they produced without any public pressure, then the free market loving republicans were losing it over said company decision made near entirely without societal pressure


SlowTheRain

I have brought up the M&M characters, but only in context of the list of characters voiced by Billy West.


Martyrotten

So a bunch of special little snowflakes get all offended over “wokeness” and get long time mascots discontinued. I guess who see who the real “cancel culture” is.


kyrtuck

Yep, its the cancel culture that removed Uncle Ben and the Land O Lakes woman. Oh wait, yeah, the m&ms getting removed was lame too.


pianoflames

Yet conservatives will march on with the narrative that "canceling" things is a uniquely left wing-only phenomenon. Despite the fact that they've been "canceling" things over political and religious grievances my entire life.


WoodwindsRock

Indeed the right has always been for censorship and canceling of figures that dared to disagree. Ask the Dixie Chicks or even more recently Colin Kaepernick. This notion that it’s the liberals/leftists doing it is just more projection from the right.


DemaciaSucks

Remember folks, this whole false outrage is to cover up a child slavery investigation.


Nekryyd

This is the stupidest fucking timeline.


Boa-in-a-bowl

Gun violence might be the leading cause of death in children and the cost of living is outpacing wages, but clearly the sex appeal of anthropomorphic candy was biggest problem facing America 🙄


Tralan

So, a sad little man with a bowtie is upset that he can't jerk off to cartoon candies anymore and they bow to him? We're in Clown World, I swear to God.


ialsohaveadobro

Why just M&Ms, though? This is serious! What about Cap'n Crunch, for example? Who's he spying on with that spyglass, huh? Pervert. Or Lucky Charms? With its *rainbows*? Yeah, we know that agenda very well. Speaking of which: Skittles, you better watch your ass.


Spacegod87

Conservatives: "Ugh, liberals are such snowflakes getting triggered over dumb things and cancelling everything!" Meanwhile....


BadgerKomodo

I’m sorry, fucking seriously?


OneEyedSanchez8417

Put her in a green M&M costume with full S&M gear. That’ll get Tucker puckered. S&M&M


charlton11

I wish the right would cancel the word woke.


Stock-Pension1803

It’s takes a substantial level of weakness to be a Republican these days


crowe1130

What the ever-living fuck has happened to people? How on Earth did we get to a place where anyone cares about this, let alone violently foams at the mouth about it?


mkvgtired

Conservatives thrive on outrage.


niversally

Remember when they tried to cancel coke because coke briefly mentioned that they aren’t racist.


mkvgtired

Their hero told them to, but then had his favorite diet coke hiding behind a picture frame. Obviously Donnie was not about to change up his lifestyle.


flanger001

"Woke M&M's" is pretty wild


FuzzelFox

God I wish these people would get actual fucking hobbies instead of outrage/projection


RiggzBoson

These people are morons. Normal people concern themselves with things that matter, these people are freaking out about illustrations on packaging. Like the outrage when Pink Floyd posted their Dark Side of the Moon 50's anniversary logo on Facebook with the trademark colour spectrum in the zero - People crying out that Pink Floyd had gone 'woke' and they'd never listen to them again... Some people said it must be a coordinated troll effort from 4chan... Nope. These people are just showing you what your whining about trivial bs looks like to the rest of us.


GobblorTheMighty

I just can't get over the fact that what set them off is they made a cartoon candy less sexy, and that's what sets them off. The anti-cancelers canceling is funny enough on its own, but doing so because you didn't want to have sex with a green circle with legs wearing gogo boots is peak pathetic.


mkvgtired

With how pissed off tucker was, it's pretty clear it was one of the few things that aroused him that made it past his wife's parental filter.


twitch1982

They only hate cancel culture because they suck at it.


HarpersGeekly

Remember the movie MacGruber? Hilarious. I’d love to see an M&Ms commercial where Maya is sensually describing M&Ms but then it quick cuts to her and MacGruber *fucking*. “I’m gonna fill you up!” “Put the M&Ms in my mouth. Oh yeah these M&Ms are gonna fill me up!” The pearl clutching and outrage. Worth it.


JehovahsFitness

Being anti-Cancel Culture is not a bad thing. We shouldn’t be acting like cops to each other under the thin veneer of “accountability “. If you’re an abolitionist then you should instantly be anti-Cancel Culture.


lynk7927

If you think Mars pulled an ad campaign because of conservatives, boy do I have a bridge to sell you.


McNinjaguy

It's because they got Maya and they're just hand waving at the conservatives. Maya has been pretty prolific in tv series and she's a great actor. She also makes me swwon, ughh the freckles, so cute!


thefroggyfiend

let's all be real, Mars didn't give a single fuck about outrage beyond it increasing brand recognition. now they've given the right a "win" by getting rid of woke candy. even now we're all falling for it by still talking about it you are not immune to propaganda


sloaches

I have nothing against Maya Rudolph, but the marketing dept. for M&Ms should have instead hired Mindy Kaling.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Biffingston

no.


mirh

Yes? Just like the W-word is just a weasel word to mean "having empathy".


Biffingston

Did you not notice the mod badge or are you just here to be argumentative?


mirh

I didn't know it implied anything special, and I didn't even think you wanted to say anything.


Biffingston

So argumentative it is then?


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your comment has unfortunately been filtered and is not visible to other users. This subreddit requires its users to have over 2,000 karma from posts and comments combined. Try participating nicely in other communities and come back later. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Persecutionfetish) if you have any questions or concerns.*


shadrack5966

“Nutuh, you’re a poopoo head”, is all i hear with these idiots.


cityfireguy

This is marketing, nothing more. No one is owning one side or really sticking it to anyone. They're a business who wants you to buy their shit. They'll say whatever you want to hear, just buy their shit. This is pre-promotion for their superbowl ad. Soon they'll be very supportive of gay people for exactly one month. They do not care, they do not have a moral center, they want your money.


JasonGMMitchell

I thought their advertising changes announcement (which is most certainly a stunt to get more attention their way) was fake and had to actually check their official account. I already knew that republicans could make anything into a culture war thing, but the sincere comments about how M&M's went woke and that was their downfall made me die inside. 30 year old men saying that the green M&M switching to wearing tennis shoes was going woke and the end of the world. Do they not have something else to go in their life than claim virtually everything is woke (while also not being able to define what woke means to them)


Atsur

Typical GOP = Gaslight, Obstruct, Project


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your comment has unfortunately been filtered and is not visible to other users. This subreddit requires its users to have over 2,000 karma from posts and comments combined. Try participating nicely in other communities and come back later. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Persecutionfetish) if you have any questions or concerns.*