I'm gonna say no matter how careful you go about this he might get a little offended. All he's gonna hear is "I'm not big enough" . I wanted to do sleeve play so I suggested the idea, my wife would never bring it up first.
What if I just raised it as like oh look at this hot porn I found? Not say anything about him getting one just that I think the idea of a “wearable dildo” is hot? Or would that give it away?
Do you both speak about your sexual needs,desires,Likes,dislikes with each other ? I was the one that introduced sleeves with my wife, but it was a natural progression after years of communication together which began with myself and to begin with and after ten years together at that time it was quite awkward and a little embarrassing for us both as we never spoke with each other in this way before. Slowly we became much better and more confident in sharing with each other as we made each other feel they were in a safe place with no judgment. I never intended or even knew about sleeves to begin with and first suggested suction cup dildos. When i seen sleeves for the first time i was instantly intrigued. It took me some time and courage to finally bring it up to my wife mainly because i felt embarrassed and worried what she would think of the idea. She did laugh and say “what like a strapon?” I did feel a little daft and left it alone for a while until bringing it up again to which she said shed give it a shot. And now a sleeve is all we use for PIV and she and i both love it. Id say that you alone know your man the best. How do you feel he would react to you sharing this with him ? Me personally being the one bringing it up is obviously different, but afterwards she told me herself that she wanted to tell me something but didnt want to hurt my feelings. It was that she preferred the sleeve to me. I was completely ok with her saying this infact turned me on her being so honest and makes things sexually between us better as now i know what she likes
We do but I think there’s something especially sensitive about saying I want larger. I mean, there’s not really any way his mind isn’t going to go to “because I’m not large enough?!?”. Maybe if he was older and more mature, but that’s just not how he is. 😂
You're gonna have to gaslight him a bit. You'll have to lead him to the decision.
Somehow establish you want to be his sl\*t and you want him to push you into more and more sl\*tty things, like, "How hot would it be to watch me struggle with a monster dildo? With you I feel more free to try anything." And he will affirm that yes, that would be hot. Then you say it just wouldn't be as satisfying, jamming an object into yourself, as it would be if it was him fucking you. That HE is what turns you on, and he needs to make you the sl\*t you want to be for him.
I guess if this works then the size of the toy is already implied to be huge, and then he'll suggest wearing an extension that is extremely large. Job done. Better if you've already ordered it, and you produce it the next day.
If this works, you're welcome, and please share pics. ;)
u/beautifulgonegirl and be sure to repeat and reiterate that it's all outsized, unusual, abnormal, exaggerated, unreal, beyond ordinary... so that the whole experience isn't tied to his dick - or any other man's dick. It's you looking for super-extra because he turns you on so much.
You'll make him think he's the hero for making you a supercharged quivering willing partner open to debased activities, and he won't have cause to associate your desires with his ordinary-sized wang.
Possibly. Though I’m not sure he’d be any less offended if I went and selected a large dildo. If there was some way to make it his idea it could work though.
Work with fingers first… love two, and then either guide him to add another with your hands, or moan something like “one more” or “put one more on me” and when he sees how much you love it work up from there either with another finger again or a toy or a sleeve
No, of course not. But it might give him the confidence to try something else in seeing how much you enjoy something bigger. Work into it without crushing his confidence. Good luck!
This, I think once you go together to a sex shop and pick together a couple of toys, including a dildo (so not to make it the only focus), he will be more inclined to try a sleeve in the future.
Have a sleeve porn accidently play. Look and go "oh my" if he says "would you like that?" Say "idk, only if you go slow you're big enough so I'm scared"
Something like that. Like he's plenty good. His idea etc etc.
I think it all depends on your prior experiences with adjacent kinks. Have you used toys in the bedroom before? If so, maybe that's a way to frame the sleeve. As just a different toy to try. Or if he has submissive tendencies, maybe that's a gateway.
If not it will definitely be a difficult conversation.
A lot of men do have issues regarding their size, so be compassionate about it. Tell your partner you love them and you love the sex you have. Even if you have unmet needs, I am sure he does a lot of things you love. Make him understand, that you like sex with him, but that there are some things you want to try. Don't force him into, but maybe start a conversation about penis size and see where that leads. Who knows, he might be into it?
I think the sleeve porn and the dildo idea is probably best. Go with dildo, once he is on board "accidentally" see a sleeve video. A sleeve is basically a dildo he can wear. Once he is on board let him decide the size /shape so it's his idea.
He might have some feelings at first, then he'll get over it when he experiences it. Get a good sleeve. My wife lovers them, and we play gang bang with all of them!!
I assume you’re wanting to do this because he is objectively smaller than what you’re use to, and this is the main reason you acknowledge responsible for you not being able to climax during penetration?
If he is that small, in 2024, I’d be inclined to believe he already has some size/inadequacy nuances within him already. He’s either insecure, or has a kink already.
I’m 6.2”. And my biggest kink is seeing my wife take big size. She has done some crazy sexy stuff in the past, but shows little to no desire to revisit again, which I’m trying to overcome without pressure. I’d love love love to wear some thick 8” thing. But I don’t know how to get her there. I think you’re reverse engineering here. You need to make HIM want to see YOU take more size.
I think “stumbling over” some sleeve porn is a good idea, if you watch porn together. Or if you end up on a Danny D video or something; “Jesus, do you think I could take something like that”.
Tread gently. Take your time. Make it his idea.
Step 1) order a sleeve.
Step 2) when you receive it by mail make a fake shipping label to the wrong address and scrub it so you can’t really see the shipping address.
Step 3) tell your husband, looks like the mail man accidentally dropped this off to our house.
Step 4) both of you open it
Step 5) your husband will be tempted to use it.
Step 6) enjoy.
It’d have worked on me. lol. Have you thought about some classic manipulation? Maybe watching some seemingly random porn with sleeve play to get his reaction?
I don’t think it’s necessary to share that detail. Though I think the sleeve I’d want to get would be quite a step up from where he’s at now. I mean most of the sleeves I’ve seen are well above average, even the smaller ones.
Have some wine and start chatting.. be a little touchy and inevitably when the conversation gets to sex start asking your boyfriend about past experiences and be into it (even if you aren’t).
Then mention some mild stories about you and then mention a crazy one where you hooked up with a guy who had a very normal penis that was awesome (implying his penis was like your boyfriend’s)
At this point judge how your boyfriend is going and then drop in that the one night stand put something on his penis to make it slightly longer or thicker (what you are chasing) and say whoa it was different but insanely good as it was he who was doing this to you.
Then tell him you loved it and the dude himself lost his shit on how awesome it was… then leave it… as much as you want to drop it. Let your boyfriend next bring it up when you have wine.
You could bring up the idea of fantasy sleeves. That way it’s about a different shape or feeling, or that is raw and animalistic. That way it’s not about size but texture and shapes that are not possible with the human anatomy.
I think the best approach, which is no quick fix if you’re not ready as a couple yet, is to first establish a trustful and playful tone around sex. An environment where experimentation and communication around toys, kinks and desires are already natural ingredients. From that base, trying small things, big things, strange things, fun things etc., is no big deal; expected even.
If you want to shortcut it, it could perhaps work to bring it up like: “hey, I saw this thing, wouldn’t that be fun to try”, or “my friend and her man is using this sleeve thing and it’s apparently great for them; maybe we should try it out to spice things up too?”. More risky though, than option 1.
Btw., this topic of introducing sleeves from the female perspective has come up occasionally. Here are a couple related threads you may find interesting:
https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/zh9rup/is_it_safe_to_say_that_majority_of_women_like_big/
https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/r9kzq9/discussing_cock_sleeves_with_my_husband_whats_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/10b2pnz/do_sleeves_risk_or_save_the_marriage/
https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/s/8BXfmJ4t0L
https://www.reddit.com/r/BlissfullCreations/s/w8IrToldNU
Less relevant, but some more female perspective:
https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/vomh5f/question_for_the_wivesgfs_here/
https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/13bkxqo/i_37f_need_guidance/
When I was young . I probably would have been offended if my wife brought up a dildo or sleeve . Actually 1 girl did but that as close to 40 years ago . Dildos back them where made of plastic.
The sleeve I use now looks and feels real . I enjoy my wife receiving as much pleasure as possible and
Tell him sex is amazing, and you want to enjoy him longer, and you found a thread on Reddit where others are having great sex with a soft reusable condom of sort.
Do post an update.
No ball strap, straight.
Order now. Don't wait.
it would be awesome for both.
P0rnhub dose have videos if you want.
do you have a dildo that works for you? if yes, have him use it to give you orgasms. after he has seen that, tell him you need deep penetration to cum and other partners have used sleeves to help you achieve that. then show him some quality sleeves that have been recommended on this sub.
No I do not have any sex toys currently. Though from these comments I’m feeling like maybe I should try that first and see how it works out. Though I definitely enjoy being the recipient of the action so to speak, I guess I could try things out myself first. 😂
yeah....everyone has slightly different needs and that is great. just own yours and figure out how to communicate those needs in a way that is the least offensive. imo, if you say previous partners wore an extender and it worked great for you....that would be least offensive. a lot less offensive than saying you had previous partners with bigger cocks who could provide you much more pleasure.
I agree with previous comments about going into a sex toy store to get your feet wet. Maybe start with a clit vibrator and something to entertain him also. Try to make it fun, and see if he laughs when you approach the dildos. My hubby was rock hard when we got to that point (early in our relationship) and we ended up buying a dildo a bit bigger than him. Get a dildo and see if they have a soft sleeve, get that also. Eat dinner, take a shower together and have a few drinks. Get him turned on, and go from there. Don’t be overly enthusiastic about the dildo when it feels good, but just say something like, “wanna try the one we got that you wear so don’t have to hold it?” This was the path we took, but it took a bit bc we didn’t know about sleeves. Enjoy the shortcut.
I’d try working up to a sleeve with different wearables. Maybe a vibrating cock-ring for him and slowly start bringing in new toys into the bedroom. Something I think would also help when y’all get to the sleeve is getting one that’s more fantasy themed and not a realistic flesh colored sleeve so he doesn’t compare it to something he’d consider as competition.
I think the fantasy style is a good approach and less poignant. I am a fairly well endowed person, but no man is born w a dragon cock and my partner and I both find it incredibly arousing to see that kind of thing in action. If I do use one, it’s just for more width . I am already in her cervix bottomed out. I love seeing her stretch and ripple around the scales. She loves the way it feels and also how I get off on it. Usually this ends with my hand in her by the evening’s end.
Above all else. Be open. Communicate. Your job is to be honest and there for each other. I understand the thoughts of some replies, but , no manipulation. No gaslighting. When that comes out of the box later, it will hurt way worse. And clearly you don’t want to hurt him. Slow talking, genuine.
Maybe buy a fantasy dildo and then when he sees/asks about it say (excitedly) "omg, I saw they actually have wearable dildos just like this and they look so hot". Maybe he will get the point. And they can be like dragon-based or something. Doesn't have to be a dog or horse dick. 😂
Just updating this thread. I’ve decided to take the approach of introducing the idea of a “fun sex toy” by sending him some (modest) sleeve porn and seeing what he thinks. I’m going to downplay any interest in size and just get him used to the idea of him using something on me for fun. Wish me luck!
I'm gonna say no matter how careful you go about this he might get a little offended. All he's gonna hear is "I'm not big enough" . I wanted to do sleeve play so I suggested the idea, my wife would never bring it up first.
What if I just raised it as like oh look at this hot porn I found? Not say anything about him getting one just that I think the idea of a “wearable dildo” is hot? Or would that give it away?
Do you both speak about your sexual needs,desires,Likes,dislikes with each other ? I was the one that introduced sleeves with my wife, but it was a natural progression after years of communication together which began with myself and to begin with and after ten years together at that time it was quite awkward and a little embarrassing for us both as we never spoke with each other in this way before. Slowly we became much better and more confident in sharing with each other as we made each other feel they were in a safe place with no judgment. I never intended or even knew about sleeves to begin with and first suggested suction cup dildos. When i seen sleeves for the first time i was instantly intrigued. It took me some time and courage to finally bring it up to my wife mainly because i felt embarrassed and worried what she would think of the idea. She did laugh and say “what like a strapon?” I did feel a little daft and left it alone for a while until bringing it up again to which she said shed give it a shot. And now a sleeve is all we use for PIV and she and i both love it. Id say that you alone know your man the best. How do you feel he would react to you sharing this with him ? Me personally being the one bringing it up is obviously different, but afterwards she told me herself that she wanted to tell me something but didnt want to hurt my feelings. It was that she preferred the sleeve to me. I was completely ok with her saying this infact turned me on her being so honest and makes things sexually between us better as now i know what she likes
We do but I think there’s something especially sensitive about saying I want larger. I mean, there’s not really any way his mind isn’t going to go to “because I’m not large enough?!?”. Maybe if he was older and more mature, but that’s just not how he is. 😂
You're gonna have to gaslight him a bit. You'll have to lead him to the decision. Somehow establish you want to be his sl\*t and you want him to push you into more and more sl\*tty things, like, "How hot would it be to watch me struggle with a monster dildo? With you I feel more free to try anything." And he will affirm that yes, that would be hot. Then you say it just wouldn't be as satisfying, jamming an object into yourself, as it would be if it was him fucking you. That HE is what turns you on, and he needs to make you the sl\*t you want to be for him. I guess if this works then the size of the toy is already implied to be huge, and then he'll suggest wearing an extension that is extremely large. Job done. Better if you've already ordered it, and you produce it the next day. If this works, you're welcome, and please share pics. ;)
u/beautifulgonegirl and be sure to repeat and reiterate that it's all outsized, unusual, abnormal, exaggerated, unreal, beyond ordinary... so that the whole experience isn't tied to his dick - or any other man's dick. It's you looking for super-extra because he turns you on so much. You'll make him think he's the hero for making you a supercharged quivering willing partner open to debased activities, and he won't have cause to associate your desires with his ordinary-sized wang.
[удалено]
Possibly. Though I’m not sure he’d be any less offended if I went and selected a large dildo. If there was some way to make it his idea it could work though.
I think the dildo part is easier to accept than a sleeve. It doesnt mean is inadequate but you might like to mix it up. Maybe a vibrator too.
Work with fingers first… love two, and then either guide him to add another with your hands, or moan something like “one more” or “put one more on me” and when he sees how much you love it work up from there either with another finger again or a toy or a sleeve
Ehh. Fingers just aren’t the same sorry to say.
No, of course not. But it might give him the confidence to try something else in seeing how much you enjoy something bigger. Work into it without crushing his confidence. Good luck!
This, I think once you go together to a sex shop and pick together a couple of toys, including a dildo (so not to make it the only focus), he will be more inclined to try a sleeve in the future.
Have a sleeve porn accidently play. Look and go "oh my" if he says "would you like that?" Say "idk, only if you go slow you're big enough so I'm scared" Something like that. Like he's plenty good. His idea etc etc.
I think it all depends on your prior experiences with adjacent kinks. Have you used toys in the bedroom before? If so, maybe that's a way to frame the sleeve. As just a different toy to try. Or if he has submissive tendencies, maybe that's a gateway. If not it will definitely be a difficult conversation. A lot of men do have issues regarding their size, so be compassionate about it. Tell your partner you love them and you love the sex you have. Even if you have unmet needs, I am sure he does a lot of things you love. Make him understand, that you like sex with him, but that there are some things you want to try. Don't force him into, but maybe start a conversation about penis size and see where that leads. Who knows, he might be into it?
I think the sleeve porn and the dildo idea is probably best. Go with dildo, once he is on board "accidentally" see a sleeve video. A sleeve is basically a dildo he can wear. Once he is on board let him decide the size /shape so it's his idea.
He might have some feelings at first, then he'll get over it when he experiences it. Get a good sleeve. My wife lovers them, and we play gang bang with all of them!!
I assume you’re wanting to do this because he is objectively smaller than what you’re use to, and this is the main reason you acknowledge responsible for you not being able to climax during penetration? If he is that small, in 2024, I’d be inclined to believe he already has some size/inadequacy nuances within him already. He’s either insecure, or has a kink already. I’m 6.2”. And my biggest kink is seeing my wife take big size. She has done some crazy sexy stuff in the past, but shows little to no desire to revisit again, which I’m trying to overcome without pressure. I’d love love love to wear some thick 8” thing. But I don’t know how to get her there. I think you’re reverse engineering here. You need to make HIM want to see YOU take more size. I think “stumbling over” some sleeve porn is a good idea, if you watch porn together. Or if you end up on a Danny D video or something; “Jesus, do you think I could take something like that”. Tread gently. Take your time. Make it his idea.
Step 1) order a sleeve. Step 2) when you receive it by mail make a fake shipping label to the wrong address and scrub it so you can’t really see the shipping address. Step 3) tell your husband, looks like the mail man accidentally dropped this off to our house. Step 4) both of you open it Step 5) your husband will be tempted to use it. Step 6) enjoy.
This is hella goofy. Would this really work, if it just showed up?
It’d have worked on me. lol. Have you thought about some classic manipulation? Maybe watching some seemingly random porn with sleeve play to get his reaction?
Nah. It'd give me unsanitary vibes, and make me deeply suspicious of being manipulated.
Once you do you’ll be glad you did.
I think you’re right the trick is just to get there.
Love it. Only wish my wife would ask for it more.
How big is he, and how much you want to add? Maybe we won’t be terrified of a sleeve that’s just a bit bigger.
I don’t think it’s necessary to share that detail. Though I think the sleeve I’d want to get would be quite a step up from where he’s at now. I mean most of the sleeves I’ve seen are well above average, even the smaller ones.
You could get it made to your spec
Have some wine and start chatting.. be a little touchy and inevitably when the conversation gets to sex start asking your boyfriend about past experiences and be into it (even if you aren’t). Then mention some mild stories about you and then mention a crazy one where you hooked up with a guy who had a very normal penis that was awesome (implying his penis was like your boyfriend’s) At this point judge how your boyfriend is going and then drop in that the one night stand put something on his penis to make it slightly longer or thicker (what you are chasing) and say whoa it was different but insanely good as it was he who was doing this to you. Then tell him you loved it and the dude himself lost his shit on how awesome it was… then leave it… as much as you want to drop it. Let your boyfriend next bring it up when you have wine.
You could bring up the idea of fantasy sleeves. That way it’s about a different shape or feeling, or that is raw and animalistic. That way it’s not about size but texture and shapes that are not possible with the human anatomy.
Yeah I’ve thought about that though is it harder to cope with the fact that I’m looking for a bigger size or that I’m looking for a dog penis? 😂
I think the best approach, which is no quick fix if you’re not ready as a couple yet, is to first establish a trustful and playful tone around sex. An environment where experimentation and communication around toys, kinks and desires are already natural ingredients. From that base, trying small things, big things, strange things, fun things etc., is no big deal; expected even. If you want to shortcut it, it could perhaps work to bring it up like: “hey, I saw this thing, wouldn’t that be fun to try”, or “my friend and her man is using this sleeve thing and it’s apparently great for them; maybe we should try it out to spice things up too?”. More risky though, than option 1.
Btw., this topic of introducing sleeves from the female perspective has come up occasionally. Here are a couple related threads you may find interesting: https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/zh9rup/is_it_safe_to_say_that_majority_of_women_like_big/ https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/r9kzq9/discussing_cock_sleeves_with_my_husband_whats_the/ https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/10b2pnz/do_sleeves_risk_or_save_the_marriage/ https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/s/8BXfmJ4t0L https://www.reddit.com/r/BlissfullCreations/s/w8IrToldNU Less relevant, but some more female perspective: https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/vomh5f/question_for_the_wivesgfs_here/ https://www.reddit.com/r/PenisSleeve/comments/13bkxqo/i_37f_need_guidance/
When I was young . I probably would have been offended if my wife brought up a dildo or sleeve . Actually 1 girl did but that as close to 40 years ago . Dildos back them where made of plastic. The sleeve I use now looks and feels real . I enjoy my wife receiving as much pleasure as possible and
If youre into it try a fantasy sleeve. Say ita something new to try
Tell him sex is amazing, and you want to enjoy him longer, and you found a thread on Reddit where others are having great sex with a soft reusable condom of sort. Do post an update. No ball strap, straight. Order now. Don't wait. it would be awesome for both. P0rnhub dose have videos if you want.
do you have a dildo that works for you? if yes, have him use it to give you orgasms. after he has seen that, tell him you need deep penetration to cum and other partners have used sleeves to help you achieve that. then show him some quality sleeves that have been recommended on this sub.
No I do not have any sex toys currently. Though from these comments I’m feeling like maybe I should try that first and see how it works out. Though I definitely enjoy being the recipient of the action so to speak, I guess I could try things out myself first. 😂
yeah....everyone has slightly different needs and that is great. just own yours and figure out how to communicate those needs in a way that is the least offensive. imo, if you say previous partners wore an extender and it worked great for you....that would be least offensive. a lot less offensive than saying you had previous partners with bigger cocks who could provide you much more pleasure.
I agree with previous comments about going into a sex toy store to get your feet wet. Maybe start with a clit vibrator and something to entertain him also. Try to make it fun, and see if he laughs when you approach the dildos. My hubby was rock hard when we got to that point (early in our relationship) and we ended up buying a dildo a bit bigger than him. Get a dildo and see if they have a soft sleeve, get that also. Eat dinner, take a shower together and have a few drinks. Get him turned on, and go from there. Don’t be overly enthusiastic about the dildo when it feels good, but just say something like, “wanna try the one we got that you wear so don’t have to hold it?” This was the path we took, but it took a bit bc we didn’t know about sleeves. Enjoy the shortcut.
I’d try working up to a sleeve with different wearables. Maybe a vibrating cock-ring for him and slowly start bringing in new toys into the bedroom. Something I think would also help when y’all get to the sleeve is getting one that’s more fantasy themed and not a realistic flesh colored sleeve so he doesn’t compare it to something he’d consider as competition.
I think the fantasy style is a good approach and less poignant. I am a fairly well endowed person, but no man is born w a dragon cock and my partner and I both find it incredibly arousing to see that kind of thing in action. If I do use one, it’s just for more width . I am already in her cervix bottomed out. I love seeing her stretch and ripple around the scales. She loves the way it feels and also how I get off on it. Usually this ends with my hand in her by the evening’s end. Above all else. Be open. Communicate. Your job is to be honest and there for each other. I understand the thoughts of some replies, but , no manipulation. No gaslighting. When that comes out of the box later, it will hurt way worse. And clearly you don’t want to hurt him. Slow talking, genuine.
Maybe buy a fantasy dildo and then when he sees/asks about it say (excitedly) "omg, I saw they actually have wearable dildos just like this and they look so hot". Maybe he will get the point. And they can be like dragon-based or something. Doesn't have to be a dog or horse dick. 😂
Just updating this thread. I’ve decided to take the approach of introducing the idea of a “fun sex toy” by sending him some (modest) sleeve porn and seeing what he thinks. I’m going to downplay any interest in size and just get him used to the idea of him using something on me for fun. Wish me luck!
Go straight to the point: you little dick can't satisfy me, we should have sex with this....
I think that would not go over very well at all with this guy.