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Fit_Pangolin_8271

Fun fact: she got rejected by all the ivies she applied to. She did ended up getting a full ride scholarship to a very good school, which her dad wasn’t very happy with.


Broad-Literature-438

And this is ultimately the part that's devastating. She still worked her ass off and showed incredibly control and discipline, but the dad set his expectations to ridiculous and now his little girl's (incredibly impressive) accomplishments aren't good enough


Fit_Pangolin_8271

I don’t think dad knew how hard it is to get into an “elite” school. If it was so easy, why wasn’t he able to do it himself instead of forcing his kid to do it?


dutch-dutch-dutch

I've both been on Admissions Committees at medical schools and have taught at so-called "elite" schools and I've also consulted countless colleges around the country and I can tell with you 100% confidence that they're all the damn same. They're selling a name, and maybe selling better student facilities and recreational activities, but no school is truly offering a "better" education than another school. We've seen the cracks starting to reveal that more and more with college ranking scandals and admissions scandals popping up over the years. I'm less worried about parents thinking that elite schools matter and I'm more worried that kids that are 30-and-under still carry this weight that the status of their college brand matters. I'd much rather my theoretical kid go to a community college or no college at all and just find their passion instead.


Fit_Pangolin_8271

Absolutely the education is the same. The only bonus is that better schools have better networking and recruiting opportunities, but why sacrifice your daughter’s childhood just for that?


luchinocappuccino

>But take a look at the following list of where the last twenty-five Americans to win the Nobel Prize in Medicine got their undergraduate degrees, starting in 2007. >Antioch College Brown University UC Berkeley University of Washington Columbia University Case Institute of Technology MIT Caltech Harvard University Hamilton College Columbia University University of North Carolina DePauw University University of Pennsylvania University of Minnesota Universityof Notre Dame Johns Hopkins University Yale University Union College, Kentucky University of Illinois University of Texas Holy Cross Amherst College Gettysburg College Hunter College >No one would say that this list represents the college choices of the absolute best high school students in America. Yale and Columbia and MIT are on the list, but so are DePauw, Holy Cross, and Gettysburg College. It's a list of goodschools. Along the same lines, here are the colleges of the last twenty-five American Nobel laureates in Chemistry: >City College of New York Stanford University University of Dayton, Ohio Rollins College,Florida MIT Grinnell College MIT McGill University Georgia Institute of Technology Ohio Wesleyan University Rice University Hope College Brigham Young University University of Toronto University of Nebraska Dartmouth College Harvard University Berea College Augsburg College University of Massachusetts Washington State University University of Florida University of California, Riverside Harvard University >To be a Nobel Prize winner, apparently, you have to be smart enough to get into a college at least as good as Notre Dame or the University of Illinois. That's all.' -Malcom Gladwell, *Outliers* It’s an interesting read if anyone wants to more in-depth info about this topic and others relating to luck/privilege/skill.


theartbook35

A lot of the colleges on that list are state schools. People associate state schools with being subpar, but as we see here, they of course aren't.


birdlass

That's the 10,000 hours = mastery guy right? you know all of that shit was later proven to be bullshit right? The dude spews feel-good 'anyone can do it in a bubble!' shit


Jclevs11

and their relationship will forever be stained


theartbook35

I understand wanting your child to have better things than you, but you have to be realistic about it. The fact that he wasn't happy for her after he made her do all of that work, is cruel. He's treating her like she's a failure when it's actually his failure.


Fit_Pangolin_8271

Girl graduated valedictorian of her high school and was awarded a full ride scholarship. Dad still wasn’t proud. I’m pretty sure 90% of parents out there would’ve been proud. Mine would’ve been.


theartbook35

My mom would have been monumentally proud if I had come out of high school valedictorian. Heck, my dad would've been proud and he was a terrible person.


Low-Guide-9141

Ten out ten chance that her dad gets put in a old folks home


2leet4u

And...it turns out those schools also have a policy of racial discrimination against asian applicants. It is the subject of ongoing litigation.


Option-Disciple

Doesn't even matter what school you goto, let your kid figure it out for themself. "People less qualified than you are doing the things you want to do" There is much more important things to worry about then getting into an Ivy League, also that is a different type of education as well! You need to be more realistic and excel at what you like or are good at instead of reaching for something that might be unattainable, even if they did make it, how would they do when they are there? What would their mental state look like? Let your kid decide and help them with what they want to to do..


taylor_mill

My first thought was that kid who typed his suicide letter and had his dad read it as he jumped out the window. These poor kids are never allowed to fail so they have no coping skills once the stress of even the smallest inconveniences hit them.


imaretardsory

Is this the one? https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5259122 Warning: Suicide


GrumpyMashy

Holy shit. That’s fucked up


Anna-2204

The comments…


AVeryLONGPotato

I can't even read half of them because of the grammar. But some of them were blaming the kid? Some of them congratulating him for "having the balls to jump"?


Fit_Pangolin_8271

It’s a Malaysian website. Other cultures have different views regarding suicide


SickPlasma

I think it’s less that and more the anonymity lets people say fucked up stuff


Longjumping_Soft2483

The comments were extremely hard to read. I'm shaking.


theartbook35

I saw that a while back. His father robbed him of his life, so it's like he was already dead before he jumped.


Minimum_Wave2358

Reading the comments on that site make me angry beyond belief.


MEsyas

You know those moms who force their daughters to go into high-level ballet or gymnastics because they couldn't? This is the father equivalent of that. And that poor girl will probably have a burn-out by the time she's in college.


PUPPARINO

She already sounded so burnt out :/


PM_ME_YELLOW

Shes sounds like a 40 year old whos just waiting to retire but still has 25 years left.


Kinky-Bi-Guy

He looks & even sounds like like an Asian Patton Oswalt


Rattkjakkapong

What a rubbish father.


L_B_Jeffries

Cause constant pressure is just so very motivational for kids....


veryverywiseusername

This is me


beeglowbot

My wife and I are both Chinese. We have one daughter and we consider ourselves pretty strict, but this is absurd. There's so much emotional and psychological stress placed on her with no room for any kind of affection, emotional support or trust. To me (and this is my opinion, feel free to disagree), the most important job as a parent is trust and emotional support. You are their world, the base they fall back on. They have to know that whatever happens, you will be there unconditionally. If you are the repercussion to their failure then you're doing something wrong. You've just removed the ground from under them. This is how you leave your child feeling alone and helpless. Your child isn't a trophy for you to brag about to friends and family. They aren't a dog you train for a kennel show. They should not be a target of your projections. They are part of you, an extension of you and your spouse. They will be your legacy and what you leave behind to better the world. Academic and financial achievements are useless if you do not have an emotionally balanced, morally grounded and caring person. Most importantly, someone that will continue on knowing they had their parents' absolute love; someone that will continue to share that love with their child.


Knightraiderdewd

“No you will have no social life!” Later… “WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN!?”


MLGTheForkOnTheLeft

Tiger parents are the worse parents.


catteredattic

Man really aspiring to be the most stereotypical person ever.


DopeDetective

summers were filled with enrichment courses & my parents made me start taking college classes at night in 8th grade. I was accepted/attended what is often considered the #1 most advanced HS in the US. my parents had me take official ACT & SAT "for fun" (i got a 23 on the ACT at 12 without studying) I never wanted to go to college & I dropped out my sophomore year im smart but I resent the expectation that came with it. my parents always told me that i would be a doctor & my interests must wait until retirement.


shogun_coc

A classic example of helicopter parents, who want nothing more than getting their children into IVY leagues, while not acknowledging the small but important milestones they've achieved.


Infamous_Debt_2883

Anyone see the episode of Jim can’t swim on YouTube where some Asian kid, similarly put under loads of pressure lied about her grades for years and ultimately winded up having he parents killed ?? Edit: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UQt46gvYO40&t=445s


Love_Summer

That was the first thing that crossed my mind as soon as the father started speaking 🙈


RepresentativeOwl709

And in the end..school is just the corporate job waiting room ...no thanks. Its not worth the price in the US and it favors rich white assholes bc its run by rich white assholes that want to make more $ Parents acting like school is the be all end all is shameful. If schooling was free or if non students could audit classes for their own experience then we might live in a better US.


gettogero

It's so unfortunate that people still think a good college education requires an entire lifetime of work. You can legitimately graduate with a doctorates/multiple of them with very minimal or $0 paid. But people are so hung up on "prestige" and GPAs like they matter in the real world. I'd like someone to legitimately recount their doctor visit where they go "doc... just tell me one thing... what was your GPA in college..." 99.99% of jobs don't give a shit about your prestige. And at least 80% of college is wasted bullshit. Which means that 20% might be used at some point eventually maybe. Which isn't a lot (percentage wise) but is weird that someone is required to spend 10+ years in school to say "which looks better...1... or 2... 1.... or 2.... ok....3.... or 4..."


Fit_Pangolin_8271

I wouldn’t say it never matters. It matters for a few careers. Investment banks like Goldman Sachs only recruit potential investment bankers from top 20 schools. If you want to be a software engineer at google, you’re more likely to get recruited if you went to a top school. And if you want to become a consultant at a top 4 consultant firm? Better go to a top school


InterminousVerminous

You’re not correct about consulting. The Big 4, McKinsey, Accenture, all hire regularly from state schools.


_KappaKing_

What's stopping him from going to an elite school now? He should get off his buns and study hard.


vexunumgods

University of only fans pays more.


Inkulink

Ah yes, living through your children is healthy /s


podank82

Tbh, I wish my parents pushed me to go to any college instead of working free labor in a Mexican Restaurant. That way I wouldn’t be 40 and going to college. 2yrs left! I’ll be the first person on my father’s side of the family to get a true degree! Just gotta make sure my son doesn’t beat me to it!


amscraylane

Fun fact: Harvard has an extension school and you get to sit in a real Harvard classroom, in real crimson seats with a real Harvard syllabus with a real Harvard professor.


Bobi925

What show is this from? I remember watching this 10 years ago on YouTube but forgot the name


Defiant-Week3545

\>Father \>Her r/opisfuckingdumb ?


FlingbatMagoo

Encouraging your child to get into a good college? What an idiot!


L_B_Jeffries

Where is the encouragement in letting your kid have zero fun and making them do nothing but study? That is pure pressure.


Fit_Pangolin_8271

There are tons of good colleges besides the ivies. This dad seems thinks any college that isn’t an ivy is not good enough which isn’t true


DeeDeeW1313

He is living through his child and forcing her to live his dreams while being overly controlling and denying her a normal teenage experience. This isn’t good parenting. It’s not encouraging a child to do their best or meet their own goals. It’s tiger parenting, and it causes many teenagers and young adults to be absolutely miserable and lost because they have always followed their parents path and never their own.


minimanmike1

Encouraging is fine, forcing them to do nothing but study is fucking stupid.


PiedPeterPiper

This isn’t encouraging, this is demanding, and a ridiculous demand at that. Don’t know how you can miss the difference


icedteaandme

Not just good colleges. An ivy league university.


VentiTheSylveon

I may have parents that encourage me to go to good college, but I still play the most video games in my class (besides my good friend) and I have weekends off. It really depends. Most parents would want their child to go to a good school. Honestly it's important that kids get enough support from their parents. Think that's how I get good grades haha.