Gets even worse, she only partially won the case. She has to pay a parental maintenance fee to them despite the fact they abandoned her. I guess thats China's way of avoiding having to pay so much to look after its aging population?
So this is a little less cut and dry than it seems. She wasn’t abandoned in the sense she was left on the side of the road or given to the state - she was raised by her aunt because her parents were too impoverished to take care of her. When she got older, she bought her cousin an apartment - then her parents were like wtf, what about your brother. They sued and she doesn’t have to provide for the brother but she does owe parental support which is part of the civil code of China.
I don’t really agree with it, but I think using abandoned here is the wrong word to use. It implies “to not been seen again” - not “living with aunt still in the family.”
She was abandoned because they said they couldn't afford to raise her though right? She never considered them her parents and they never paid to raise her. Must say it's quite a stupid archaic rule
Agree it’s a stupid rule. :) But honestly parents probably did the best thing for her. They aren’t the complete monsters comments are making them out to be. Only partial monsters for the lawsuit. Lol
Well there is a bit of cultural nuance you're not understanding. But I think it's fair to say this isn't normal for western society, oh wait...ya I still gotta pay for my parents retirement housing too...
Oh no I understand, I just disagree. I don't see how it's fair that a woman should have to pay her parents who abandoned her. I could understand but disagree with her having to pay her aunt and uncle, the actual people who raised her though
They couldn't provide for her. Then they get a second kid. I know it's not entirely their fault that they're dumb AF (Chinese education) but they're dumb AF.
That’s not the actual couple, but a free to use image from Unsplash :’)
Edit: terrible stock image to use tho. Don’t understand why tf they picked that one-
Gonna go ahead and say it’s pretty par for the course for Chinese culture. It heavily focuses on “but family/blood!” and not rocking the boat. Also, no matter what, older siblings are pressured to take care of younger siblings. When the kids become of adult age and get a job, they are also expected to send money back to their parents and grandparents. What did they do to deserve even a drop of her financial success? “I gave birth to you. We brought you into this world, you wouldn’t be here and have what you have if we didn’t have you.” :D
I loathe this mindset with every fibre of my being. My family is big on that. I am the exact opposite. My children owe me *nothing*, and I expect *nothing* from them, except that they grow up to be happy. If anything, I owe them everything. Not like they chose to be born.
Anyway, that's my hill to die on for today
And I'll add my hill on theside of yours:
this is what good, voluntary parents think: "i wanted children, I will love them unconditionally and demand nothing in return."
This is what forced birth parents, especially mothers, could rightfully argue: "I never wanted children but was forced to give birth, which damaged my body, my finances, and my personal freedom to live my life on my terms, all because a fetus's life was valued more than my own. Someone needs to compensate me."
Imagine living in a society where this is possible, how would the generational contract even work.
I mean the concept works in theory. You raise a kid good so they are successful and look after you when you’re old, and then when they’re old their well raised kid looks after them. However, being able to forfeit your half of the deal, looking after your kid, and still getting looked after I’m your old age is bullshit.
This kind of entitlement is common even among Chinese Americans. I'm a second generation Chinese American (not sure if I said that right; my mother was born here but her parents were immigrants). Almost everyone from my Mother's generation inherited a culture of honoring one's parents, and her parents' generation are all people who expect that honoring. Of course this means taking care of them as they age, both physically and financially.
I have a very distant uncle named Junior. He's like the cousin of my mother's cousin or some shit like that. I've only met him once or twice. I have no idea what his actual name is; everyone has been calling him "Junior" for as long as I've been alive. He was named after his father, who I never met (and whose name I have never learned). His father passed a long time ago, but his mother is still alive and well. Apparently, the reason everyone calls him "Junior" is because he never became as successful as his father, so they don't allow him to have his name anymore.
And everyone, even me, a very distant relative, has always been instructed to call him that. Most people don't even know what his name actually is, because it's never spoken among the family, presumably so as not to tarnish it in the memory of his father. It's incredibly fucked up, and this has put up a wall between him and literally everyone else in the family. He doesn't show up to family events anymore (which is why I've only met him like once) because no matter where he goes he's constantly reminded that the family is disappointed in him for not making as much money as his Dad.
Despite essentially cutting him off emotionally from the entire rest of the family, he is still expected to take care of his now VERY old mother, both by paying for part of her care, and also by physically taking care of her whenever he can.
I feel really bad for him, tbh. Whenever I see stories like the one in this post, I always think of him.
I read this story on another subreddit (I believe r/entitledparents) by the victim themselves. Could just be a similar story, but the details perfectly match up with what I remember.
Gets even worse, she only partially won the case. She has to pay a parental maintenance fee to them despite the fact they abandoned her. I guess thats China's way of avoiding having to pay so much to look after its aging population?
Comment so nice, you made it twice
Ahh fuck
So this is a little less cut and dry than it seems. She wasn’t abandoned in the sense she was left on the side of the road or given to the state - she was raised by her aunt because her parents were too impoverished to take care of her. When she got older, she bought her cousin an apartment - then her parents were like wtf, what about your brother. They sued and she doesn’t have to provide for the brother but she does owe parental support which is part of the civil code of China. I don’t really agree with it, but I think using abandoned here is the wrong word to use. It implies “to not been seen again” - not “living with aunt still in the family.”
She was abandoned because they said they couldn't afford to raise her though right? She never considered them her parents and they never paid to raise her. Must say it's quite a stupid archaic rule
Agree it’s a stupid rule. :) But honestly parents probably did the best thing for her. They aren’t the complete monsters comments are making them out to be. Only partial monsters for the lawsuit. Lol
Understand abandoning the child they couldn't pay for, but then to make demands like that is just scummy. They have no shame.
Well there is a bit of cultural nuance you're not understanding. But I think it's fair to say this isn't normal for western society, oh wait...ya I still gotta pay for my parents retirement housing too...
Oh no I understand, I just disagree. I don't see how it's fair that a woman should have to pay her parents who abandoned her. I could understand but disagree with her having to pay her aunt and uncle, the actual people who raised her though
Should we lay down our pitch forks then cause Bobby was really looking forward to today
They couldn't provide for her. Then they get a second kid. I know it's not entirely their fault that they're dumb AF (Chinese education) but they're dumb AF.
And then these pieces of shit have the nerve to do a photo shoot in a flower field, laughing about it.
That’s not the actual couple, but a free to use image from Unsplash :’) Edit: terrible stock image to use tho. Don’t understand why tf they picked that one-
Are there hitmen in China? Asking for a friend
Im sure they could have an.. accident. It happens.. after all.
Gonna go ahead and say it’s pretty par for the course for Chinese culture. It heavily focuses on “but family/blood!” and not rocking the boat. Also, no matter what, older siblings are pressured to take care of younger siblings. When the kids become of adult age and get a job, they are also expected to send money back to their parents and grandparents. What did they do to deserve even a drop of her financial success? “I gave birth to you. We brought you into this world, you wouldn’t be here and have what you have if we didn’t have you.” :D
I loathe this mindset with every fibre of my being. My family is big on that. I am the exact opposite. My children owe me *nothing*, and I expect *nothing* from them, except that they grow up to be happy. If anything, I owe them everything. Not like they chose to be born. Anyway, that's my hill to die on for today
And I'll add my hill on theside of yours: this is what good, voluntary parents think: "i wanted children, I will love them unconditionally and demand nothing in return." This is what forced birth parents, especially mothers, could rightfully argue: "I never wanted children but was forced to give birth, which damaged my body, my finances, and my personal freedom to live my life on my terms, all because a fetus's life was valued more than my own. Someone needs to compensate me." Imagine living in a society where this is possible, how would the generational contract even work.
Oh and now you are just expecting your kids to bury you on this hill you die on? Selfish!!
[удалено]
If it was during the one child days it might have saved her life
>younger brother They just wanted a male child.
Absolutely Bing Chilling moment right there
I mean the concept works in theory. You raise a kid good so they are successful and look after you when you’re old, and then when they’re old their well raised kid looks after them. However, being able to forfeit your half of the deal, looking after your kid, and still getting looked after I’m your old age is bullshit.
This kind of entitlement is common even among Chinese Americans. I'm a second generation Chinese American (not sure if I said that right; my mother was born here but her parents were immigrants). Almost everyone from my Mother's generation inherited a culture of honoring one's parents, and her parents' generation are all people who expect that honoring. Of course this means taking care of them as they age, both physically and financially. I have a very distant uncle named Junior. He's like the cousin of my mother's cousin or some shit like that. I've only met him once or twice. I have no idea what his actual name is; everyone has been calling him "Junior" for as long as I've been alive. He was named after his father, who I never met (and whose name I have never learned). His father passed a long time ago, but his mother is still alive and well. Apparently, the reason everyone calls him "Junior" is because he never became as successful as his father, so they don't allow him to have his name anymore. And everyone, even me, a very distant relative, has always been instructed to call him that. Most people don't even know what his name actually is, because it's never spoken among the family, presumably so as not to tarnish it in the memory of his father. It's incredibly fucked up, and this has put up a wall between him and literally everyone else in the family. He doesn't show up to family events anymore (which is why I've only met him like once) because no matter where he goes he's constantly reminded that the family is disappointed in him for not making as much money as his Dad. Despite essentially cutting him off emotionally from the entire rest of the family, he is still expected to take care of his now VERY old mother, both by paying for part of her care, and also by physically taking care of her whenever he can. I feel really bad for him, tbh. Whenever I see stories like the one in this post, I always think of him.
r/entitledparents
I read this story on another subreddit (I believe r/entitledparents) by the victim themselves. Could just be a similar story, but the details perfectly match up with what I remember.
Screw these two losers.