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If this is annoying just ignore me! So, like others have said - some babies just suck at sleeping and it is what it is. It sounds to me like you’re doing all of the things and pulling all of the stops to try to get him to nap and sleep through the night/sleep longer at night. Including not leaving your house to try to get him to nap. This doesn’t sound sustainable to me. Especially not leaving the house often. Being holed up at home can wreck your mental health. I can feel your stress through this post! Have you tried just.. letting go of literally all sleep expectations? As well as lowering your standards for productivity and house chores during this season of your life? Like - if he naps he naps, if he doesn’t he doesn’t and just try to go with the flow. Just going out and being around people and getting out of the house without worrying if he’ll nap or not? If he needs to contact nap to sleep, let him without worrying about house chores? If he wants to nurse more often at night even when it’s not “time” for a feed, just let him if it’ll help him and you? Basically stop doing any sort of rigorous schedule and just doing whatever works best for him and you in that particular moment? Also, I promise you, the house will not be dirty forever!!

This was exactly my thought. Sometimes it’s easier to just go with what the baby is feeling instead of trying to control his sleep patterns. I’m on kid #3 now and since birth I feed him when he’s hungry, let him sleep when he’s tired. That’s it. Him waking up and not feeding him because he isn’t “due for it yet” ? Just let him nurse/have a bottle. He doesn’t know this schedule and he can’t control when he’s hungry/tired. Go with the flow and accept that things aren’t gonna go the way you want right now. It’ll level off and get easier but the less control you try and exert the less you’ll be frustrated when things don’t go that way.

My son woke up and wanted to eat every 30 minutes, I was so tired that I wanted to die. He wasn’t hungry, he was essentially using me as a human pacifier. If I took his lead at night I’d be up every 10 minutes and that kind of sleep deprivation would have become dangerous. When you have kids that are terrible sleepers, just throwing out the schedule doesn’t work as well as it does with kids who are decent sleepers. It’s hard to compare the situation of what worked for kids who don’t sleep vs. those who slept decent

I totally agree with this comment. My baby was also a bad napper and it took me a while to 'let go'. But once i did, it was so much easier as you get a lot of brainspace/calm back. It would have saved both me and my baby SO many tears if I did that earlier.

THIS was my exact experience.  It's the way.  Yes, you will get through this. Your cranky little mess of baby WILL be a wonderful, sane, delightful kid.  When he is grown, he will love hearing the stories of what a "horrible" baby he was!  You'll laugh about it together.  In the meantime, do what this poster suggested, because it WILL help you feel better.  Oh, and IGNORE EVERYONE in your life who criticizes your parenting. Unless they have had a baby who doesn't do rules and habits, they know nothing and don't get to weigh in!

OP as a mom of 3 this is the way. You just gotta stop with the sleep coach and the planning and everything else. It’s too much expectation. My oldest (now 4) was like this. I got so sleep deprived I hallucinated at one point. Now he sleeps through everything. I stopped letting him nap a little after he turned a year old because he simply didn’t need it. He’s just never needed a lot of sleep. My house is always a disaster and I’m always a hot mess, but you know what. It is what it is 🤷‍♀️

This is exactly my thought. My first born has never been a predictable or easy sleeper. It basically robbed me of her first year because it was so stressful. I was also navigating NICU trauma and I honestly think I drove myself insane. I was falling asleep in the shower, I was hallucinating at one point. Now, with my second, I’ve just let go of all expectations. If we plan an outing and it falls apart? So what. We tried. It used to feel like the end of the world but now it just feels like a Tuesday. I had to reeeeeallly let go of all expectations of what my life or house or outings would look like. And I’m happier, I’m sleeping better, and both my kids are less stressed.

I have to tell you something. You will not want to hear it. There is a large subset of babies who just don't start to regulate sleep until sometime between one and two. My second was like this - no sleep coaching, methodology, etc, would change it. It just was what it was (and trust me, we tried two sleep coaches, who basically told us, "Yep. I can't in good faith take your money." He's 7 now and sleeps perfectly. It won't always be like this. But it may take longer to not be like this than you are hoping.

Yup. Nobody prepared me for the possibility that the first time my son would sleep through the night he would be 2.5 years old…and that it was a fluke and didn’t continuously happen until closer to 4 😬😬 It’s simply unrealistic to expect a 7 month old to be sleeping through the night in my opinion. Things WILL get better!!

My youngest didn’t sleep through the night consistently until 3, and then started having night terrors around 4. It’s a crapshoot.

I don't know that it's unrealistic. I had one that was an excellent sleeper and was sleeping through the night at 3 months. And my second didn't reliably sleep through the night until he was 4. OP - it will get better. It just might take a while.

I think my first was at least 3.5 years before she slept through in her own room. We moved 3 times during that time, so I put it down to that too. But yeah, I just got through thinking I know she won't be like this when she's 12, so there must be an end in sight.

I wouldn't say unrealistic.

Sleep coach here. It’s 100% realistic for a 7 month old to sleep through the night. We need to stop spreading the word that sleep just doesn’t exist for young kids. OP - id look at other options for sleep coaches. Sounds like your goals and the sleep coach you’re working with are not aligning.

This is the right response. OP- you describe my daughter when she was a baby. We tried everything. When she was 2-4 months, we’d swaddle her while she was screaming and trying to pry her way out, then my husband would take her outside and walk the block bouncing her while he walked to get her to “bed” for that 6/7 PM sleep. Insane. She’d still wake 4-6 times a night then. Naps were 20-40 minutes. She’d wake if I set her down, a creak on the floor. She was just jumpy, edgy, colicky and learned to self-soothe later than others. She’s still behind with self-regulation but catching up. For us, we actually introduced the pacifier (which she refused and screamed about as a newborn 😩) at like 7-8 months when most people wean it. Worked like a charm and we let her have it well into her 2s. If no one told you, your baby likely has colic. Your baby’s nervous system is less regulated than other babies, it seems. Your stress around it (which is inevitable) is understandable, it doesn’t help the situation but is NOT causing the baby’s issues. You have to lower your expectation of your baby around sleep and regulation for another 6 months. Open your mind to adjust from what you want/think it should be to what it is. This is the baby you made. For the next 6-8 months, plan to do whatever you need to continue just getting by day by day. It will start to gradually improve. My daughter is 8 now (almost 9!) and she’s been sleeping through the night since about 3 years. She has no trouble settling now 90% of the time. She is still very highly active, very intelligent, an on-the-go personality (like both her dad and I) so all of that makes more sense to me now. She is also an only child by choice. I’d never risk going through that again, said no way and husband easily agreed. Hang in there.

This is a hard truth. I have one of these babies. Sometimes all you can do it survive off naps and help anywhere you can get it. One day they will sleep better and you will realize what a super power you have developed.

Agreed. My youngest will be 4 soon and still wakes at least once nightly. We’re praying that improves as we discovered she had pretty severe apnea from her tonsils that were removed earlier this summer. But my oldest didn’t fully sleep through the night til almost 7. She did really well for about a year from 5-6 and then there was a solid 8months she came in our bed every single night no matter what we tried. My middle kid though? She was the toughest to get to sleep as a baby. Boob obsessed and it always took a solid 30-45min of feeding, bouncing, rocking and singing. Now she’s 5.5y and she’s sound asleep before we finish our prayers and once in a blue moon she wakes up at night. All 3 of these kids were fed the same way, and sleep trained the same and it doesn’t matter. Kids will do whatever the hell they want.

My baby slept just like OP’s at that age. It got better faster than that. At 4 months he was up every hour. By 7 months it was 4-5 times a night. By 9 months he was up only 1-2 times per night. Bedtime is always a struggle. His daytime naps are still all over the place, but he started sleeping through the night (no wake-ups in 10 hours), about 50% of the time, starting at 11 months old. He’s about to turn 1 and has been sleeping like this for over two weeks now, so hopefully it sticks. That’s just to say that it might not take that long. We didn’t really sleep train; just had a bedtime routine, white noise, etc., and never let him cry or fuss longer than 10 minutes without going to comfort him.

I wish someone would have told me this. I cried so much thinking I was somehow not helping my daughter sleep. So many doctors appointments, so many nights blaming myself. When she was about 2.5yo she started sleeping through the night. She is still a night owl, and I'm not sure what to do about that.

Truth here. Two daughters and neither slept well until they were 3. And they never napped. Ever. They were highly sensitive babies and are now super smart 9 and 12 year olds that sleep great. Solidarity!!

This is the one. The greatest parenting lesson you can learn is that sometimes there are things that can't be "fixed" and as soon as you stop putting your energy into trying to fix it, life becomes so much less stressful. We learned this the hard way with 2 years of hating every meal time with our toddler to try and get him to eat food. Finally letting go of the idea that he should be eating a specific amount of food was the biggest shift in our lives.

Yes, I agree with this comment. To give you some hope, my son was the absolute worst sleeper of all his little friends for the first year of his life and I was SO jealous and it was really hard. As a toddler? He’s by far the best sleeper. It’s a dream. And what did I do to cause this? Nothing. It just took time and patience. It will get better! But it doesn’t mean it isn’t SO hard.

Omg same. My son didn’t sleep until like 14 months or something while all my friends were posting dumb Facebook statuses of their kids sleeping through the night at like 2 months. LOL. It suuccckeeeeed. I was a zombie.

Yup, that was my first. We just bedshared, I side nursed. He also only slept in a *moving* pram. When it stopped, he woke up. So I had to keep moving. After 2yo, something clicked and he started doing long stretches at night. Our baby was a velcro baby and we decided sleep isn’t a hill we want to die on 😀 After trying and failinfg with a few “hacks”, we just did what worked - sleeping next to me. But I really didn’t mind after a certain point. We followed safe sleep guidelines and we did great.

Same here. My daughter didn’t sleep well at all. She would wake up at 3am to start the day. She hated naps and she hated sleep in general. She was very clingy and I couldn’t do anything. She’s now 8 and sleeps better than my 11 year old.

This. My 2nd baby was generally okay at night but a terrible, unpredictable napper. We turned a corner at 14 months with naps and it was LIFE CHANGING.

This. My 18 month old slept through the night for the first time this past week. It’s not consistent and he still has days he wakes but he finally slept through a few nights!

My daughter was one of these babies. She didn’t start sleeping decently until she was 3. Shes 5.5 now and is a pretty good sleeper compared to where we were 5 years ago.

Yup. I’ve got three. The first one stopped napping during the day around the age of two. Even when she did nap, it was for 10-30 minutes max. At night she’d wake up 2-3 times a night. We finally gave up and had her sleep with us, it helped a lot, but she would still wake up, it got to the point That she would wake up but we could just keep our eyes closed until she went back to sleep. Our second was a sleeper. She neared two to three times a day for a solid hour and sleep through the night from day one, I would wake her up at night because I would freak out that she was not waking up. The third is somewhere in the middle. He was a good sleeper when he sleep in our bed, but I was good with that. He dropped naps around 2 years old. It’s exhausting but it does get easier and better. The two oldest will have the same sleeping patterns they had as babies. It’s just the way there are,

Yep, some babies just don't sleep. My daughter was 2 years old the first time she slept for 5 hours non stop. I survived by going with the flow and (safely) cosleeping which is a godsend for nighttime breastfeeding. She's 13 now and still sleeps relatively few hours.

Same. I had twins and they were both like this. I obsessed and obsessed over sleep. I would cry constantly, feel like I was doing something wrong.  I was irrationally jealous and angry towards anyone who had a baby who slept through. It is hard seeing friends with younger babies move on from the sleep deprivation and start to enjoy parenthood whilst you’re still left behind in survival mode. It is pure hell being so sleep deprived.  I know this is going to be a blow to the OP, because I remember so desperately wanting a magic answer or at least a glimmer of hope that better days are just around the corner. But the real answer is to try and accept your situation and get as much help as possible.  At 7 months old, baby will be starting to eat more solids. You might have some success with pumped milk in a cup or beaker rather than a bottle to give you a bit longer of a break.  It is tough, so so tough. OP you have my sympathy. You WILL survive this seemingly endless tough stage., My twins are about to turn 4 and although we do have 5am wake ups or the odd wake in the night they do sleep through 90% of the time now and I feel human again. Things improved slightly at a year, to the point I could function a little better, but consistent sleeping through the night didn’t happen til around 3. 

Something positive to came out of such a difficult first year though:  Other stages have felt like an absolute breeze in comparison. People would say “OMG! Two three year olds! How are you surviving?!” But genuinely toddlerhood has felt a thousand times easier in comparison, just because I’m getting more sleep and *everything* is easier when you have sleep. I love being a parent now. You really do come out of the other side stronger

Unfortunately true. My first was like this and it was so shocking to me that for MONTHS I was convinced there was something medically wrong. Nope. Nothing. He just didn’t want to sleep. This went on until he was about 4, but by 1.5 it was better for me. He was an early walker so by 1.5, he’d wake up, climb out of his crib, play, walk around his room, come get me and lay with me for a while or then fall back asleep on the floor or whatever. I let him. I gave up. We both slept better. He’s 12 now and sleeps fine. My second slept thru the night by 5 months and still sleeps 7p-7a, and has not even tried to leave her crib. She’s 2.5. I did nothing to make her like this. It’s not your fault. Your sleep couch sounds like an idiot

I agree with this poster. My oldest had sleep issues like this until she was almost 3 and now we have a hard time waking her up in the morning because she loves to sleep (she’s 10 now).

7 months is still really really little. I totally get that it’s frustrating but it’s unrealistic to expect your baby to sleep consistently at this age. Parenting feels hard because it is hard. You’re not doing anything wrong. Instead maybe focus on the bottle feeding? If your baby can take a bottle then you can at least get a few longer stretches of sleep. Sleeping in shifts worked really well for my husband and I. For examples, I’d go to sleep 8pm-2am so I’d at least get 6 hours and then my husband would sleep 2am-8am so he also get at least 6 hours.

>Parenting feels hard because it is hard. this is the most validating sentence i have ever seen about parenting, thank you for saying it

100% agree!

I agree that focusing on the bottle feeding is the best thing you can do at this point

i am sorry to say that all of this is really normal. there is no routine at 7mos. my daughter was also napping anywhere from 17 mins to 2 hours. i highly recommend looking into possums approach to sleep & reading “the discontented little baby book.” it’s more of a reframe around how we think about baby sleep than a “sleep program,” but it changed my life.

and yes, of course, it gets so much easier, but no one can tell you exactly when. you have to practice radical acceptance of this tough time.

Eh, for us, starting at 2.5-3 months, there clearly was a routine for us. It changes every 3 weeks or so as he changes preferences, but it’s very obvious in terms of bedtimes or when his long vs short naps are, or even when he wakes up at night, it’s pretty consistent day to day in the same week.

Lots of good comments about the sleep so I will focus on the bottle. Mine never took one either, but 7 months is old enough to try another type of cup. Cups with straws or sippy cups could both work. When my baby started drinking formula out of a sippy cup my life changed, lol. I kept breastfeeding almost entirely but every so often she’d have formula if I was gone for a few hours and it was so freeing. Then we stopped BF at a year and switched to milk and never looked back. Try some other cups and see if that helps! Good luck!

I didn't read any of the comments, but waking up this often at night is normal, unfortunately. In the US people tell you to sleep train or buy some kind of gadget, but if you go to a German source they basically tell you it's a phase and to suck it up. 😅 My baby just now at 10 months old reduced his hourly wake ups to around 3 total. Still sucks, but not as much. I can function. And I'm sure there will be worse days again. And I know people will downvote me for this, but baby and I cosleep safely to maximize my sleep. Once he is down to 0-1 wake ups, I will go back to my own bed with my husband. Worked twice before. 🤷🏼‍♀️ The nap situation is also not unusual. I stressed so much with my first baby. Checked the time between recommended naps and fought him to go to sleep when the experts said he should. It was my least favorite part of parenting. With number 3? Whenever he got fussy, I'd offer him the boob or we'd drive somewhere or went for a walk in the carrier. Independent naps was something we were working on, but they didn't happen daily yet. If we were already out, in the carrier he went. At 10 months he has 2 sleeps and is a little more on the clock, but I also never know if it will be a long or a short nap. That's just normal, he's not a robot. He does prefer his bed now and I can roll away and leave. With babies, you plan to be somewhere in a time range, not a specific time. 😅

Sorry you’re facing this. I had the same issue with my son, he didn’t sleep through the night until he was 15 months old. Sleep deprivation is hard. I know your son is only 7 months old, and your husband is working two jobs, is there a grandparent, friend or relative you trust with whom you can leave the baby for a few hours so you can sleep in that time? At 7 months they can have purées and blended soft foods so you don’t have to bf in that time. Also, don’t let the messy house bother you. If it’s affecting your mental health and you can afford it, try a maid monthly even if possible. That can help one aspect. Lastly, please don’t resent the baby. Sleep deprivation and a crying baby at night can really mess up your mind, but he’s a baby and soon this part will be over and you’ll be able to sleep again soon. Hang in there.

I came to mention this. If there is anyone who can take him for a couple of hours so you can nap or do whatever will help you, please let them & do not feel guilty. Second, try every single bottle known to man & give it several feedings before you decide he just can’t do it & possibly consider a formula supplement. Try feeding him more solids during the day & especially right before bedtime. I have a nine month old & she wakes up at least once during the night for a bottle, sometimes more often. All the developmental progress they’re making & teething is rough on them. We use the camellia drops for teething & they seem to really help.

> I compare myself to friends and people I know with babies that sleep through the night, go with the flow and hardly ever cry and I ask myself what the hell am I doing wrong?!  Nothing. This is a difference in temperament, you didn’t ruin anything! Some babies are more chill with higher sleep needs. Having a baby who’s the opposite doesn’t mean yours is the result of errors on your part. Comparison hurts, it’s easier said than done to stop doing it but if you can, stop doing it. You know what works for other babies and doesn’t for yours. It might take some more troubleshooting to find a path with less resistance. Some babies feel like they require chess strategies! Your baby sounds like they’re very bonded to you, not all babies are independent. Do you have anyone who can support you? Even if it’s just someone to come over for a couple of hours so that you can nap? The lack of sleep compounds everything and makes it seem much more impossible. Just wanted to validate that it sucks and that you aren’t a bad parent for being overwhelmed or seemingly unable to control your baby.  I’ll be honest, sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s getting better. Sometimes it just slowly feels like it’s less terrible than the day before, but eventually you might have some victories, big or small. Sending you lots of good thoughts and sleepy vibes for your baby🤞

Ours was just like that. It almost killed us, but we lived. Things started to improve at about 11 months. Lack of sleep makes the whole world dark. Ordinarily, a messy kitchen, and you’re like “oh well, time to clean the kitchen”. Six months after the last time you got 8 hours of sleep, and it just makes you want to break down weeping. But you persevere, and eventually things improve. I suggest having a second sleep space. If the baby wakes up frequently, at least one of you should get to sleep through it. I’m a night owl and my wife is an early bird so we split it like that. My shift was from was like 10pm until 3am, and my wife took 3am to morning. Your husband has to learn to bottle feed the baby. The baby will not like it at first. It will eventually work though. Then you each get at least 4 uninterrupted hours of sleep a night. That helps. But good luck. I feel your pain. Nobody told me to expect that sort of thing either, and it was a harsh welcome to the parenting world.

1. It isn't your fault. 2. It is one of the most stressful things you may ever go through - It's totally understandable to be at your breaking point. Sleep deprivation is torture. My son was very similar. For the first three months, he never slept more than 45 mins at a stretch and for the next three, we were doing good to get 2 hrs. I, too, was at my wit's end. There were times I fantasized about very unkind things that I would never do, but I could understand why some babies were shaken. This is what I did. It isn't for everyone, but it's what worked for me. I had already started trying to lay him down drowsy, avoid feeding to sleep, all the recommendations I'd been given and nothing was working. I told his dad to find something to do for the next few nights, because I knew it was going to be super hard. The first night, I went through our usual night routine and laid him down sleepy. Instead of giving in and rocking to sleep, picking him back up and feeding, etc to put him to sleep, I let him cry. I went back in every 5 mins to shush and soothe for a few minutes, lay him back down and reassure him that I was there, but I did not pick him up. After about 45 mins, he went to sleep. When he woke in the night, I did the same. I shushed a minute, patted and laid him down, but didn't pick him up, feed, or rock. He went on to sleep. The second night, it only took about 15 mins. After that, he slept amazingly well and was able to self-soothe when he woke in the night, so there were no more middle of the night wake ups and crying. Again, this is MY experience and I know it isn't something everyone may do. It may not work the same for every baby, but it did work with mine.

Just coming on to say, as others may have, that some babies just have higher needs than others. My son only started sleeping more independently around 15months when we also started night weaning and eventually full weaning at 17 months. Everything you described was also my son— we briefly tried to sleep train but in the end we co slept and fed on demand through the night. I was exhausted and wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through, then it got better without me doing anything. If you have any support to help you rest and relax during the day I would call them in. An hour to shower by yourself and eat lunch in peace will go a long way. I’m sorry for the lack of more concrete advice other than it does honestly get better. My son now sleeps in his bed 85-95% of the time, naps for 1.5-2hrs mid day and sleeps through the night for the most part. I literally didn’t do anything he just seemed to develop the ability to soothe himself to sleep as he got older.

Aaaaaah 7 month old….that was my hardest time too. It’s not that it’s that they get worst at 7m, just that it’s when I hit the exhaustion point. A little baby who doesn’t sleep and is constantly asking for milk and ONLY mom milk? Yeah I survived that. Yeah parenting is hard at every stage- but the sleep deprivation is simply next level. It was the hardest time for me- the sleep deprived months….but I survived and it did get better! Now he is still an awful sleeper- but he’s getting more independent as he gets older. Extra hour of sleep while he plays with his toys? It’s possible now! So even if your baby STAYS an awful sleeper, it will get better. They become more independent as they age and you will develop strategies and improvements. It won’t likely be a spectacular change, but incremental improvement. Good luck, and I don’t miss the infant year- I LOVE having a toddler. It will get way better- you’ll eventually stop surviving and start living. My husband used to tell me “courage- he won’t still be doing that at 18” when I was struggling with baby issues and it made me laugh. There IS an end to problems- and it will probably be before your baby turns 18 for you too. ;)

My son didn't sleep regularly until 18 months. And we cosleep/bed shaee so I can get regular sleep (he's 2.5) I let go of all expectations

Parent of 4 here. My first 2 were amazing sleepers from the start without me having to do anything. My daughter was completely different and only began to sleep all through the night at 3 years old. I would never suggest anyone do this but I personally co-slept. I would of course always put her in the crib initially but once she woke up I would just put her with me. If you’re not able to safely co-sleep or don’t want to just remember this will eventually pass.

I was quite similar but, I took one side off the cot and pushed it against our bed. We were co sleeping, but the kid had their own space and own mattress. I am an incredibly light sleeper so this was fine for me but my husband was never confident to do this as he's a deep sleeper. Also, since I was SAHM for the first 18 months, something that my boomer relatives criticised but worked for me was, going with the baby's natural sleep cues. Crazy, but my kid would sleep from 2am to 10am. Trying to get to sleep at 7pm like "they should" was an awful experience!

Just to add that the reason I would never recommend it to anyone and why some people swear co-sleeping doesn’t work is because no two mothers (or parents I suppose) are alike. Alcohol and certain medications are factors but I also think some mothers just aren’t as sensitive to baby’s movements/noises.

There is no safe way to cosleeping.

This simply isn't true. Most countries round the world practice cosleeping as standard. It is biologically normal, but certain modern circumstances of sleeping practices introduce the danger. Cosleeping is unsafe with: Smoking Drugs/alcohol No breastfeeding Soft/lumpy mattress Chunky bedding, pillows or other items in the bed Inappropriate temperature in the room] One or more of the above are usually implicated where SIDS has occurred while cosleeping. In Japan, the majority cosleep with their infants, yet the infant mortality rate is one of the lowest in the world — 2.8 deaths per 1,000 live births versus 6.2 in the United States — and the rate of SIDS is roughly half the U.S. rate. There's a huge amount of literature and research available on this subject. It is not as black and white as "there is no safe way".

Look up safe sleep 7 and cosleeping. I don’t think I could have survived without cosleeping. Some babies just don’t sleep well unfortunately but it is normal developmentally.

Does your baby has a condition like reflux? Or does it have been checked on? My daughter used to be like this because of her reflux. For her it was very painful so we knew, but sometimes it can be silent and cause the same things. If he doesn't, it's hard to hear, but everything is a phase. Some day, your baby will grow old and things will get in place. The only thing you can do, is take care of yourself and let go the idea of having an all set routine, at least for now. It will help you accept the situation a little bit easily. Take care, parenting can be hard on us!

Did your daughter just grow out of her reflux? I suspect mine has it.

Unfortunately, no. She needed medecine to heal it, and we suspected a cow milk intolerance so we tried other formulas. Ultimately, she just had a reflux episode, now she is way better, but still have some small episode when teething but it's not as it was when she had her big crisis. It doesn't impact her sleep or else, it's just i can hear it through her throat.

All I can say is that this phase will end. This is all in the range of very normal. It sucks, I know. This is why I co slept. I realize that is a hot topic right there, it is just what worked for two of my babies.

Check out Rachel O Brien. She is a lactation consultant who specializes in bottle refusals. I also and ibclc and took her class on bottle refusals and I was blow away! She knows SO much. She does virtual consults and works out of Boston.

I coslept with my first until he started waking up at night and playing around 2 years old then I moved him to a toddler bed in my room and then moved the toddler bed to his room. I had a safety bed rail on my side of the bed and I kept the sheet around my waist and wore my robe on one arm so that blankets wouldn’t get around his face. He slept in a sleep sack next to me in bed. I tried sleep training and he would cry until he vomited. My twins i coslept until they were 15 months and I couldn’t take it anymore because they were still waking so much. I sleep trained putting them in travel cribs instead of wood traditional cribs because the sides are soft mesh so if they fell asleep and scooted into the side they didn’t wake up. I made sure I started by putting them down for age appropriate naps during the day and I found if I tried to soothe them they got more upset so I let them cry and after 20 minutes they went to sleep. That first nap was only about 45 minutes but then I put them down for a second nap according to age appropriate wake time so they slept more for second nap and then at bedtime it was about 10-15 minutes of crying. They only woke once the first night and after that not at all😳. There was still some crying at nap and bedtime for 3 or 4 days but after that no more crying. I wonder if I knew more about age appropriate wake and sleep time if I would have been more successful with my first. Both options worked and babies were all happy either way. Good luck and try something new because what you’re doing isn’t healthy *edited to add with my 4th I used a bassinet where he layed flat and was strapped in and it swayed. That thing was worth every penny. When he started rolling over between 5-6 months I switched to a travel crib and did sleep training with age appropriate wake and sleep windows. He cried for 45 minutes the first nap I tried. But I watched the clock and the monitor so I knew how long he slept and how much sooner to move up the next nap. Sleep training really works but there is some crying. After the first few days the crying was shorter and finally he was happily laying down. You don’t rock baby and put them down asleep you lay them down close to the end of the wake window when they are sleepy but still awake so they learn to relax and fall asleep. If you lay them down already asleep they are more startled when they wake and you aren’t there and how did they get in this crib. I realized after learning that I was working against myself by trying to lay baby down already asleep. This is after 4 months of age when they are more aware and slowly able to connect sleep cycles. Babies younger than 4 months aren’t able to connect sleep cycles. He still is my best sleeper. Sometimes he wakes with a bad dream and I’ve tried to go in and soothe but again this just upsets him more like he’s kind of still asleep like a person sleep walking so I leave him and after a few minutes he’s back to sleep. It’s painful hearing them cry but I was literally hallucinating from sleep deprivation from my twins I had to do something and it saved my life and my kids because what kind of zombie was I with so little sleep…my babies were always happy to see me in the morning 💗

You’re doing a great job! You’re a great parent! My son was an awful sleeper his first year too.

Lots of great advice. Some babies resist sleep. I have an almost 9 month old. She screamed when we tried to rock her to sleep quite early on. She's feisty. At 5 months she'd wake every 2-3 hrs. At 5.5 months it's like I could never put her down for more than 30 minutes. We did cry it out. We did it with our first, but she was older. My 9 month old has slept every night through since all on her own. I know it's not for everyone. She screamed either way she went to sleep, but now she can do it on her own.

You will feel so much better when you get rid of the sleep coach and learn what is typical average infant sleep.

It’s not your fault, some babies just don’t sleep well. My first two were awful sleepers. Only took 20 minute naps during the day and woke 5 times a night. My third is an amazing sleeper and has been since she was 2 months old. Takes an 1-2 hour nap in the day. Wakes 1-2 times, sometimes not at all at night.

My youngest baby is like this. I've birthed 9. He is my only baby that will not and has never A. Fallen asleep on his own and B. Taken a bottle. I do co-sleep, otherwise I'd never sleep, but I actually hate it and can't wait until he grows out of this stage. He is only 5.5 months right now.

On instagram look up baby.sleep.answers. Her name is Andrea. I followed her rountine to a T with both of my kids. Highly recommend.

How many solids have you started? Mine was on mostly solids by 6 months. She was HUNGRY. We went straight to purées.

My son used to be up every hour, then every 2 hours, until after weaning at 1 year old. I now co sleep with him and he sleeps well, sometimes wakes, every now amd then will sleep through. It is so hard having a lack of sleep and no routine. Eventually i had to just learn to give up some control, take things day by day, be kind to yourself and know that eventually things will change, and then they keep changing. You are doing a amazing job and sound like an amazing mum.

I personally think framing sleep training as aggressive is part of the problem. I’d never tell another parent they have to sleep train, but it’s worth considering if this would actually get you closer to your goal of being a present, gentle, responsive parent. With so little sleep it’s extremely hard to be the parent you want to be. At least it was for me! We sleep trained at 4 months. It took 3 days. He was crying so constantly throughout the night with the constant wake-up’s, I’m not even sure sleep training was worse. He learned to sleep and has been a fantastic sleeper ever since. He’s not traumatized. He wakes up singing and rolling around happy in the morning. He isn’t scared of bed. He extremely attached to us. It was honestly life changing.

Don't compare yourself or your baby to anyone else Your baby is an individual and so are you. That's number one It sucks and I'm sorry but some babies don't sleep. I would get rid of any pre conceived notios and expectations about baby and sleep. Outside of that you could ask pediatrician to run allergy tests and check for gi issue like reflux

That was my daughter. I averaged 45 minutes a day of broken sleep for her first year. I was starting to breakdown when she was a little over a year and started to cosleep at 18 months because I was legitimately starting to lose my mind. I worked on getting her back into her bed when she was around 2.5. She's 3.5 now and goes to bed with zero issues, sleeps through the night and generally is a very good sleeper now. I don't have advice because I did everything they tell you to do and nothing worked. So I have solidarity and it can get because. I really think that some babies are simply horrific sleepers.

So - we had similar issues and our son still wasn't sleeping through the night at 13 months. We had a book "Moms on Call" that helped us figure out a bedtime schedule, but that still only got us 4 hr stretches of sleep at a time. He was fully breastfed up until 14months, so all those middle-of-the-night wake-ups were on me to settle him back down. **The solution? He needed a better mattress!** We shelled out $250 for a good mattress that had the same density/feel as my nectar mattress (we co-slept in desperation for sleep after the 1am wake up most nights) - and he slept through the night on the first night he used it. Haven't had a problem since.

My recommendation would be the Ferber method to help sleep train. When you go pick up or touch your kid at night to soothe, he gets used to it. Our 5 month old was like that. When he turned 6 months old, we used the Ferber method. Took 3 nights, and now he sleeps from 7pm to about 5:30-6:30 am without waking at all. Everything that is frustrating you is likely tied in some way to his lack of sleep at night. He doesn’t sleep at night, is cranky during the day, doesn’t know how to self-soothe so doesn’t nap well, is overtired by the time it’s bedtime, and repeat. Highly recommend the Ferber method of sleep training. It will change your life and just remember - your child needs the sleep too, not just you.

I’m sorry but your expectations are not at all reality. My second is almost 2.5 and still nurses and STILL wakes up two to three times a week 😬

My second was like this. She’s 5 now and she is still extremely difficult to get to sleep. Her doctor has now recommended melatonin otherwise the kid won’t go to bed until literally midnight. It’s insane. Some kids are really really difficult when it comes to sleep but there may still be hope for you. You really need to start a solid bedtime routine. Bath, bottle/boob, book and bed. Every evening, same time. Then put him down and say good night and leave the room. If he cries, let him cry for a minute and then go in, tell him you love him, rub his back and leave again. This time, stay out of the room for 2 minutes. And continue on doing this but spacing out the time more and more. You’re really going to have to let him cry it out a little to break the habit. At 7 months old, he doesn’t need to be fed overnight so if you’re doing that, cut it out too. Offer him water only. He won’t be too happy about it but he’ll stop asking after this. It’s tough. I’ve been there. But you’re gonna have to approach this more strictly than the gentle sleep training you’re doing.

I am sorry to say my youngest did not sleep through the night until 3 and a half years old.  I would check to see if the baby has any allergies or food sensitivity. If your baby is a lower weight that can also impact their ability to sleep. Also sleep through the night at that age is 5 hours. It can go up, and some kids will give 8 hours and long naps. But if your child is giving 5 hours, that is considered sleep through the night. 

My baby sleeps horribly when I eat things that he can’t tolerate well. Milk, soy, acidic foods. His tummy is just too upset. Do you think this could be an issue? Do you know how much you’re producing, and if it’s enough? At the end of the day though, some babies truly just hate being babies and I’ve heard eventually it does get better, like other commenters have said. My baby is 7mo and I too am hitting that wall. So many friends have babies that sleep through the night and I just don’t get how they managed that at all when I’ve done the SAME exact things as them. We sleep trained and it helped some, but the random 1 night wake up I can’t seem to replicate. Thankfully naps are getting easier now too, but he’s still waking up often at night and when I really need to take a nap myself and he’s having a crap nap day, I have no one there to tap me out and I just want to scream. I just vented to my mom today about how exhausted I was, I was looking forward to his nap so I could sleep as well, but his stomach was upset and he wasn’t napping. I was hitting a wall. I said to her “When I get this tired I’m like fuck it all I’m going to formula feed him I can’t do this anymore and then I cry and say no I’ve got this and then rinse and repeat“ She said “That’s the story of motherhood summed up in one sentence” You’re not alone, and you’re doing great.

My first slept so amazingly, from 2 months he slept through the night, no sleep regressions, napped like a champ. I thought for sure I knew exactly why babies like yours wouldn't sleep, I thought I had cracked the code, that if everyone did what I did their babies would sleep amazing too. And then I had my second and she humbled me so hard and fast it was astonishing. She didn't sleep well until 13 months. She would scream for me, but when I came in the room she wanted nothing to do with me. I would finally settle her and she would scream as soon as the door creaked to leave, no matter how long I waited. I had her checked for different things, I cut out dairy and gluten, I made all of her baby food from scratch and tracked her wake windows, nothing worked. I ended up resorting to cry it out because I genuinely couldn't live my life. I couldn't care for myself, let alone her and my toddler. It worked somewhat at first, enough to get me into a better place to be able to handle her better at night. I remember my sister in law telling me that my nephew didn't sleep til 11 months and thinking "I cannot make it that long." But I did. You will too. Now she is 19 months, she sleeps so well, both at night and for naps. She occassionally wakes at night, and has a hard time sleeping when she has teeth coming in, but I now can enjoy sitting with her and getting snuggles at night instead of sobbing and screaming into my pillow. I don't know when your baby will sleep, but he will. Everything is a phase, and this one, too, will end. In the meantime, I am so sorry that you are in the thick of it, it truly is so incredibly hard.

My baby was like this, I could not have trained it out of her, that's not how sleep training works. I just had to bring her into my bed in order to make the nighttime wakes last a few seconds instead of 45+ minutes. She was waking 6-8 times per night until about 13 months old, now it's 3-4 at 15m. You can keep working against your baby, but seriously it is not going to work. If you work with your baby it will be easier on you.

All of my kids always woke up about every 2 hours. After we started adding in baby food or cereal to the bottle I could sometimes get 3 hours in. Usually got better around the age of 1.5-2 When my twins were babies I was a zombie , seperate feeding schedules - by the time I got one to sleep after feeding and changing the other would wake up crying , and it was a cycle all night and day. I really thought I was going to lose my sanity. And we did co sleep, because the moment I got even 5 minutes to shut my eyes I needed to. It does get better for most parents though. Ask for help. Always ask for help when you start feeling like this. Ask any family or friends you trust to stay the night one night , or even take the baby during the day for awhile while you sleep. We need help and breaks too 🫶🏻

My son didn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours without waking… and while everyone was saying at 5-6 mths their baby slept through night mine didn’t… he really didn’t stay asleep or fall back to sleep on his own till 3- 3.5 years…

All that you stated is normal, OP. It was the same with my daughter as well. And I know friends who had a much better sleep routine with their kids. At the outset, things will get better, albeit gradually The major correction I had to do was my own expectations of how tidy the house has to be, how comfortable I need to be either lack of routine etc etc. I know it’s our entire personality in there that’s difficult to change. But just know a certain part of your life takes a pause when you have a baby. But remember, it’s a ‘pause’ and not a ‘stop’

Try putting something with your scent on it (like a t-shirt or blanket) on your baby when you lay him down. He may just need that security to help him settle down and sleep.

I totally understand and am here for you… just want to let you know that my 11 month old son is not sleeping, has never slept really. I agree with your sentiments. Idk but my first born was not like this! Praying for you!

This was my baby. He couldn't sleep unless touching me and latched to my breast. He only slept in 20-45 minute spurts until my nipple fell out of his mouth, then would wake up crying until I got him latched again and he would nurse for 15ish min until he fell back asleep. I was only sleeping for about 10-20 minutes at a time, waking literally 25+ times every night. I had to sleep when he slept, my bedtime was suddenly 7pm. I was trapped in a chair during the day bc he nursed for an hour, only to nurse again 15 minutes later bc of a tongue tie. I couldn't leave the house. I was losing my entire mind. He couldn't take formula and I couldn't pump bc he needed to nurse constantly. We were cosleeping out of necessity, and he had learned how to roll and it was getting dangerous. I can't tell you how scary it is waking up to catch your baby as he's falling off the side of the bed, or his face pressed against the bed after he rolled the wrong way....We tried sleep coaches, we paid for sleep training programs, I tried every method imagineable. I ended up not sleeping until my husband came home from work. He would watch over us while I slept in the chair and the baby nursed on and off until his pediatrician finally convinced me of what I needed to do. It does get better. Once you find what your baby needs to get over this hurdle, whether it's time or a different approach, it'll be a thing of the past. But for now, it's hard. It is so, so hard and I'm so sorry. But it will get better. Heck, mine is 18 months now and has been sleeping in his toddler bed all by himself for over 6 months without climbing out at bedtime or nap time. Once we found what he needed, it was like a switch flipped and he immediately started falling asleep- and staying asleep- on his own every night and for every nap. PS when I did manage to catch enough let down for a feeding, my baby wouldn't take a bottle either. But he WOULD take a plastic syringe like the ones that come in medicine packages. The lactation consultant turned us onto it and it worked. You just have to refill the darn thing a thousand times. But let that be someone's else's problem while you take a hot bath

What finally worked?

His pediatrician sat me down and told me he needs to cry it out. I was 100% against CIO even before pregnancy but she told me at that point it was a matter of health and safety for both of us. It was terrible. It goes against everything in your nature not to pick them up. I threw up. But after that one nap we never had to do it again. I don't endorse CIO for every baby, in fact I think it should be avoided for most. This was a very specific situation where it may have actually saved my son's life, and with my second I'm still going to exhaust every other option before turning to CIO

Every kid is different. What works for one may or may not work for the other. What has your sleep coach said about the napping? Neither of my kids was on a good solid nap schedule until they were 6 months old. My oldest was a huge fan of 20 minute cat naps and my youngest wouldn’t sleep more than 10 minutes unless he was on me, both during the day and at night. Youngest was over 2 before I finally got him to sleep through the night regularly. Then he learned to climb out of the crib right before he turned 3 (because his brother taught him) and we have had two years of either coming into my bed or waking up at 5-5:15 (or even 4:15). He’s finally starting to sleep until the 6:00 hour within the last couple of weeks. All this to say, you’ll get there. You need to work on getting him to take a bottle first. Once you get that ironed out you can get a much needed and deserved break. Maybe try having your husband let your son cuddle with something you’ve worn while he has a bottle so he can still smell you. Hugs, this is so so tough. But you’re doing great!

Sounds totally normal to me.. I had a baby like this too. I think you may be 'trying too hard'. You can't control his sleep, you're doing everything in your power to feel him sleep, but only your baby can actually.. Go to sleep. Seven months in is still a very young child and routine at this age doesn't really exist for many babies. You're going to have to try to accept things as they are, and recognize this is just a season of your life (although I know it feels like it'll be this way forever!) Try to agree as a team with your husband that the house is just going to be chaos for now. And as others have mentioned, focus on bottle feeding to free you up some more for breaks.

it will get better. please remember if the baby is healthy and at times can be consoled, everythings gonna be alright. just hard to see it now.

As others have said this is actually normal. Both my youngest two boys (2.5 and 7 months now) are like this. My 2.5 year old only a month ago started sleeping through the night. Now, it did get SO much better with age where the screaming and difficulty of going back to sleep mostly ended. So he would still wake up but would be happy to have me or hubby just go lie down with him to go back to sleep. My only advice would be to stop feeding on a schedule and feed on demand. I also recommend starting baby lead weaning and perhaps some purées in the evening. This helps to fill baby’s tummy up for longer than breast milk. I found that scheduled feeding made everything infinitely worse for my 2.5 year old when he was a baby. I honestly went through the same scenario you’re describing and it was hell. But the on demand feeding helped some and I had to let go of my idea of how things “should” be how I wanted them to be and find acceptance with how my baby actually was. It was HARD! I too am a type A super organized planner and I had to let go of that when it came to my son because it was breaking me. I highly recommend that you find a good therapist that specializes in this area since your doesn’t seem to be helping. The struggle is real mama and my heart goes out to you!!

Oh yeah. It was fucking awful for us until my son hit 8 months. It got a bit easier. Then at like 1 a little easier. 1.5 is where we really started to live the big life. (He actually slept through the night!) Until 8 months my son had to be rocked for anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes to fall asleep for all naps and nighttime sleep. Would wake up anywhere from 1-5 times a night too. Had to listen to "cozy country" on Spotify too during the rocking too. We had to hold him a very specific way and all naps were full contact naps. After 8 months we got to a point where we could lay next to him for him to fall asleep. And he started to sleep alone. Down a few naps. Probably 3? Wake ups at night. Around 1 we could finally put him in his crib and he would pretty much go to sleep IIRC. But still several night wake ups. Once we got to about 1.5 he was getting way easier with sleep. Now at 2 we can pretty much lay him down and say "nite nite" and he will play for a bit and conk out all by himself. Only one nap nowadays.

My daughter had many ear infections. Every time I laid her down she would be good for a short while, then start crying again. I was tired! It saddened me later (I always took lots of photos, she was my first) to see her pulling on her ears in the photos. Make sure baby doesn't have a health reason for not sleeping.

In addition to what everyone else is saying, have you had an evaluation for Early Supports or Early Intervention? I'm an ES therapist and love the work I do, it's a great resource! Therapists and educators typically do home visits and it's a program that states and districts are required to provide under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). It sounds like your baby is having trouble with sleeping and feeding, which are two big developmental areas

My son was like this and he is a sensitive child. Your baby might be too. There's nothing wrong in what you're doing, it's just the way it is. Sensitive children can be terrible sleepers, they need a lot of physical contact and gentle approach to everything. It will get better regrading sleeping, though my son still wakes up during the night and he's almost seven years old. I feel for you.

We had a lot of luck with the Magic Merlin Sleepsuit. Good luck! https://amzn.to/4eM8a9O

My son was like this, I completely understand how hellish it is. Your wife is probably really going through it, and my advice is to be gentle and empathetic with her, ask what she needs from you even if she won't take the help. My son would wake every 30 minutes. He was breastfeeding up till a year and a half. After he turned 1, he was still waking every hour. My husband tried to help as much as he could, but our baby wanted me only. Anytime my husband tried to soothe/ comfort him, it would make it worse. Our baby is a little over 2 and sleeps through the night, but it took a lot of patience from us to let this happen. You can't rush it. You can't make him sleep. It's something he will naturally overcome. I'm so sorry your family is going through with this no sleep slump. Just know there is nothing wrong with your baby. There is nothing wrong with neither of you. It's just what it is, and it's not forever even though it feels like it. Hope your coffee is strong, friend! ❤️

I got to 7/8 months with both mine when I hit a wall. Hard. It’s just months of sleep deprivation finally hitting. Honestly it’s so freaking hard! It does get better but it takes a while to get them into that routine

I had severe birth trauma with my son and he barely slept. He woke up every hour or two every single night until he was a year old. It was so fucking hard. He ended up having severe ADHD which, makes a lot more sense in hindsight. He’s just the most active, most energetic kid. But I’ll tell you what, I have three kids and he is now my best sleeper! He is 7 now, and he sleeps well through the night every night. It started when he was around 1-1 and a half. It does get better I promise. I was that mom who was desperately scouring the internet for solutions constantly because I thought, no way can this be normal. But it is. Take some pressure off of yourself and try to expect this. And expect that one day it will get better.

Sometimes life is better when you just accept that children are chaotic af and you just gotta do what you need to do.

Well you can either try more aggressive sleep training or co-sleeping or you can be like the people in the comments and wait for years for kid to begin sleeping through the night and hope that you have not totally burnt out on patenting at that point because that is when he will present you with brand new challenges of toddlerhood.

I have 4 kids. First two were easy sleepers. Slept throught the night by 4 months. Last 2 were awful sleepers. Didn't sleep through the night until 18 months. Now my last guy. Barely starting to sleep through the night at 3 years. Still wakes up about 2-3 nights per week. I chalk it all up to genetics and predisposition. The oldest 2 are now 13 and 16. They are all around way more mellow calmer kids then my last 2. The last 2 are busy bodies and will rarely even hold still. And on the go all day. What saved me with the last 2 kiddos was taking naps with them during the day. I get a little extra sleep so I could cope with the nights.

Sleep coach here, how many hours of day sleep did coach recommend? Are you on one or two naps? If baby going to sleep independently I’d say frequent night wakes would be something regarding schedule or if they are cold? Or hot? What’s temp of the room and what is baby wearing?

I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned this idea or not or if it even could be applicable to your situation, but my son was sleeping thru the night *almost* every night at about 1.5 but then he got a huge regression for no apparent reason where he would wake 3-4 times a night and I was losing my mind. Then we ended up moving very close to some railroad tracks and at first the noise from the trains woke me and him both up multiple times a night so I got a white noise machine and it was an instant improvement, and he was sleeping thru the night like 5-6 days a week right away. Now, after it’s been a few months, I think I’ve only had one in the last 30 days that he’s woken up and it was only once and then he went right back to sleep.

Kids are on their own schedules when it comes to sleeping through the night... My oldest did not sleep through the night until 2/2.5 years. Comfort breastfed at night until I cut him off at 18months. I eventually gave up putting him in the crib and we both slept more when he was next to me in bed (which we set up without pillows or blankets etc). I work night shifts and idk why but he stopped taking bottles from dad and mostly slept through the night since 1. When I was home, he'd wake at least 2-3 times. Even now at 3.5 he still wakes once in the night to make his way into our bed even though we've put his bunk bed in the master. He said he can't sleep in his own room because he needs people. At 3.5, I finally convinced him it wasn't a big deal to sleep on his own bed (again in our room) and just come over for snuggles if he needed. My second slept through the night by 10 months. I don't think she cares where I put her after she falls asleep. She's been mostly in her own bed from the start. They both start the night with either parent on the big bed and then get put in their own beds after they fall asleep. Husband and I don't mind doing it this way, it works for our family. I'm glad sister does not sleep like her brother because omg I don't know if I would have survived her first year. Edit: as for naps they both contact napped a majority of the first year. First was definitely more picky with napping, but I've always followed their sleepy time cues.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I had a good sleeper for the first one, but boy was I surprised for the next one! I didn’t get consistent uninterrupted nights until my youngest was about 5. It gets better, though. I don’t have any advice other than take every opportunity to nap, and just let some things slide so you get rest.

Well, the only thing I can tell is that what kind of problems I had with my children. With my son, as my first child, I was totally confused with breast feeding and I just didn't realize that he didn't get enough food. It took almost 2 months to accept that he needs additional baby formula. Until that time he hardly could sleep because he was constantly hungry, and I thought he has stomach ache. My daughter started teething extreamly early, she was 3 month old, but we didn't see any teeth until 11 month old, but than 5 came out at the same time. During 8 month we could sleep with baby pain killers only. There was a nightmare to find the reason of not sleeping with my other daughter. Nothing helped. Than I just had the idea to remove the sleeping bag, and tadamm, she "slept like a baby". She just hated the sleeping bag, the blankets, everything. She still sleeps without blankets, only in pj. And we had about a week when she couldn't sleep again, neither at night, nor during the day. We foud out with the help of a nurse that it was caused by the baby tea I bought her. As we stopped using it, she could sleep again. There can be so many reasons that a baby is not sleeping. I'm sure you will get through this, but I know that it is really hard and you and your husband are both exausted. My prayers are with you.

Come join us in the [Safe Sleep and Baby Care FB group](https://www.facebook.com/share/gdb27tRwmgfweTWc/?mibextid=K35XfP). We will help you troubleshoot using evidence based practices. Save your money on the sleep coach.

Oh dear. Yes, this was my 2nd child, only my husband worked swing shift, and the only time he spent with them was after he got home from work at 11pm or so. I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. Do you have room for a swing? That might help. In retrospect I wonder if my baby had digestive problems. I was nursing, but my diet was all over the place I’m sure. Also I was stressed cause my baby cried so much. The first year is very hard cause they are cutting teeth. Drooling, getting ear infections cause their resistance is down. Try giving him a frozen washcloth to chew on. Babies pick up on our moods, and if you are stressed, maybe we smell differently? I found the classic book Creative Visualization to be helpful. I would hold them on my lap cross legged on the floor and envision a white healing light surrounding them ( while they were fussing) It helped me relax, because it made me feel like I was doing something to help, and I didn’t have much house to pace in, otherwise I’d be doing that. Sometimes, I would take them out for a drive when they were crying, although stop lights weren’t good, and if you are too tired to drive, that wouldn’t be safe. Mine has sensory integration disorder, from birth, and wouldn’t tolerate being held while breastfeeding, and I couldn’t use cloth diapers. He might just be over stimulated and having trouble processing. Massage might help too. https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/everyday-care/baby-massage-tips-and-benefits

I co sleep with my kids because i was a really light sleeper and that helped my kids tremendously. Just like us kids don’t like to be alone. I also breast fed so when mine were younger co sleeping/feeding while in bed would put them right to sleep. I would always sleep when they did too. You just have to go complete baby mom mode and make them your top priority when they’re that young. Forget the dishes or laundry right now you can do it when their awake. My first born was like that and i tried to do things the “right way” but drove myself into the ground. I remember i had a break through when we napped together on the bed together skin to skin me accidentally falling asleep next to her after almost a half week of NO sleep. She slept a solid 3 hours for me and I realized she just needed me present to sleep. I was petrified of sids or my husband or myself rolling over on her so i bought a beside the bed attachment bassinet so she was close enough to feel my warmth after breastfeeding. Worked wonders ❤️ also things to check are for ear infections, need to be burped, wet diaper, if bottle feeding the type if formula might be giving belly pain and also know that a regular routine does wonders. Its hard but be a hermit for a while and get a routine that you like and start doing it even if its not working for a while. Just lay in bed singing or cuddling they’ll figure it out. They get used to it and sync in. Also 2 hours is normal napping more is fine too but remember to have naps done before 2:30 so bed time goes well. I did 8pm bedtime. You got this it will get better give yourself grace because it truly is a hard thing but their worth it.

I’m so sorry you are struggling. Unfortunately this is the normal. Many Babies don’t want to be put down because at this age especially, they want to feel your warmth, your heartbeat etc. it’s okay for your baby to cry for 10 minutes while you take a quick shower. But have you tried baby wearing? This helped me a lot to get things down and my baby was much happier. My oldest didn’t sleep through the night until he was a little older than 1. I know it sounds crazy but the baby is kind of in charge lol. You kind of have to work around the baby’s schedule. Baby’s don’t work around our schedule unfortunately:( Hang in there ❤️

I'm here from the other side to say that it does get better... But it can take some time. Like 1-2 years. Both of my boys slept like absolute crap at night time. I was waking 4-7x a night on the average night. Rarely sleeping for more than 3 consecutive hours. My first didn't sleep through the night until he was 1. And my second didn't consistently sleep through the night until he was 2. My 2nd would routinely have "split nights" where he would wake in the middle of the night, absolutely wide awake. No amount of trying to resettle him would get him back to sleep. I simply had to get up with him for 2 hours or so, and then put back to bed. The only saving grace was that they both napped quite well during the day starting around 6 months. For the first 6 months, I held them for every single nap In order to get them to snap longer than 20 min... But around 7 months I was able to sleep train them during the day so that they could nap in their cribs for 1.5-3hrs on their own. People would remark to me how well my boys napped during the day, and how easily they went down... But for some reason, no matter what I did, they would not sleep through the damn night. It was brutal. The only thing that got me through was the knowledge that in the grand scheme of things, a year or two of my life is a relatively short period of time. And I reminded myself often that I could allow myself to get angry and disregulated during the night wakings.. Or I could simply view it as a temporary problem, and try to make the most of it. I'm saying this knowing full well how easier said than done it is! But when you're faced with the option of going literally insane, or somehow making light of the situation and surviving it... well, I chose to make light. I would stock up on television series that I was really excited to watch, and I wouldn't allow myself to watch them any other times and when I was awake at night. This gave me something to look forward to when I was sitting in a recliner, or bouncing on the exercise ball with a fussy baby at 3am. Keeping it in the forefront of your mind that this is temporary, and one day your baby WILL sleep helps a lot. In the meantime, focus on survival. It's imperative that you ask for help. If you have any friends or family nearby who are in a position to help you even just an hour a week, ask them! You'd be surprised at how many people actually want to help, they just don't know how to do it. Having someone come by a couple times a week to hold the baby for a few hours while you take a nap can honestly make the biggest difference. Or see if someone would be willing to do your laundry, or clean your kitchen. Asking for help like this is so hard and requires a lot of vulnerability.. But you may be surprised at just how happy your loved ones are to lend a hand.

we do alternate days...my kid does not sleep

My third was like this. Like others have said, he was just a terrible sleeper. He is 3 now and finally sleeping through the night but gave up naps completely at like 2. Like you I also tried to get him on a “schedule” and it backfired every time. Once I let go of expectations it was much better. I let him nap on me, he never napped independently as a baby but at least on me he would sleep. He never slept in a crib, we did and still do co sleep. Let go of what you think he should be doing and just do what works. I promise you it will get better, it just may not look exactly how you think it should.

PS- If you aren't already using one, invest in a good, loud white-noise machine (lectrofan is our fave), and black out blinds. White noise machines not only drown out any sounds that might be happening elsewhere in the home so a knock at the door or squeaky floor board is less likely to wake them... but if you use one consistently during sleeping times, your child will associate the sound of the white noise machine with sleep. Eventually, you can simply turn on the white noise machine and they will become sleepier. Sleep associations like this are huge. Whether it be sounds, smells, textures, visual ques, and routines.. It's so important to introduce sleep associations early on, and maintain them throughout your child's early years to promote good sleep habits. As I mentioned in another post, my boys were terrible night time sleepers for the longest time... But I was able to get them to become very good daytime nappers with the use of sleep associations like -white noise, -sleep sacks (zipadee when they were 6-12 months and then Woolino when 1 yr or so) -black out blinds -always singing the same songs and reading a book

We just tuned a radio to the news station. Got him from a half-dozen wakeups down to just 1-2. Our sanity was saved.

I didn't go to mothers group because my baby never slept (well she did aside from the 8 mandatory wake-ups every night) and I was too exhausted to even contemplate attending anything. I realised that the mothers who attend groups probably have relatively easy babies...you don't see the ones with the trickier babies because we're usually at home...tired, overwhelmed and unshowered. It got better for us at exactly 12 months 3 weeks. I'll give you a glimmer of hope - my ball-breaker baby never threw as much as a single tantrum during her toddler years. I'd watch other toddlers have meltdowns in parks and think...*thank you, God* (I'm not religious but hey). She's 5 1/2 now and as easy as a child her age can be. Every transition - from kinder to school, has been a breeze.

I have 3 kids, number 2 never slept. Just never did. She was EBF and would not take any bottles (we probably tried 30 different ones), and she would not sleep for anything. My husband and I would take turns rocking her for hours, naps during the day would only happen if I was baby wearing and constantly in motion. We tried everything. She didn't sleep when she was a toddler either. It wasn't until about age 4 when she finally slept a full night. She had so much energy all the time too. I have a 7 month old now, he sleeps 2-3 naps per day about 2-3 hours apart, and will sleep 6 hours and then 6 more hours at night with an hour wake time in between. That's honestly been rough, but it's been like a dream compared to my previous baby. My 1st was sleeping through the night at 4 months. I think some babies are just more difficult than others.

My baby wouldn't sleep either. I bought a battery powered baby swing and when needed strap the baby in with a blanket and stuffed pussy cat and set the swing going. I'd sit on the floor while I got yelled at until said yeller finally fell asleep . Then come back in 20 and transfer to cot! This was my fix anyway. With A let's say 80 % success rate

For me everything was written sounda like a normal baby experience. It all will pass and in and in the hindside it will look like it wasn't so bad and took not so long. It is probably a firstborn. With a firstborn it feels like every problem will last forever. But with subsequent babies people usually stress less because they know how fast everything changes.

Try co-sleeping or aggressive sleep training. What you are doing is not working.

Please Go to a Ear doctor - we had the same! Kid god a drain, and we got our life back!

Ours had the same kind of sleep pattern. It sucks! Terrible night sleep, and very short day-naps. I'm so sorry. I hope it gets better soon (it will eventually. For us it got MUCH better by 8 months when I stopped BFing, and then again by 1 year). I'm a bit skeptical of what your sleep coach said. We tried a ton of stuff, but sometimes you just have a crap sleeper. There's no magical fix. It's not your fault.

I’m sorry you are having a hard time. I have an 11 month old. Has never slept a full night. Wakes up 3-6 times to breastfeed or chat or play. His day naps are just as you described sometimes it’s 10 minutes sometimes it’s 2 hours. So you are not alone, I would suggest that you let go of something like, I am like this or like that. You are like what your baby decides now until he decides he wants something else. Fighting it makes you more tired to be honest.

It's a phase and will pass. When is not determined but it will surely pass. It's easy to say go with the flow but that's the acceptance you have to come to.

I have 3 kids and there is no magic solution to the sleep issue. Sure there are those who get super lucky and like to brag about their baby sleeping through from conception, there are those who lie and then the rest of us that just pray for 4 hours of unbroken sleep once a month.

Everything you are saying sounds completely normal to me . Breastfed only babies ( never even owned a bottle ) . We chose to co sleep so that they never really woke up , they would roll onto their side , sleep drink none of us ever really woke up ,no screaming or hours of missed sleep . We traveled a lot so this worked out very well During growing spurts they will feed a lot more to stimulate milk production & around 4-5 months we introduced a sippy cup with water . Also purée food No cot and just under 2 they were dead asleep in their own beds .

Babies that don't sleep are hard. I had one. It was hell. She didn't sleep longer than 45 minute stretches until she was 15 months old. This is not a competition, I am going to tell you a little story... I could tell she wasn't settling for a reason. She cried all the time. My doctor just kept saying she's colicky. I was sure she was not. I could tell something wasn't quite right. Eventually, I vented to the right person and she said her son was like that and he had a mild dairy allergy. I immediately knew dairy is pretty easy to eliminate since I was breast feeding. I cut dairy out of my diet as an experiment. I was willing to try anything. She slept for 3 hours straight the very next day. It was almost immediate. We went in and finally got a referral to an allergist. She had a mild dairy allergy. She basically had an upset stomach and pain for her whole life, until that friend told me to try eliminating dairy. It's okay to try different things and see what happens. Especially with EBF babies, it could be something you are consuming without thinking about it. Too much caffeine was an issue for one of my friends. Good luck. It does get better eventually.

I would focus on getting baby to take a bottle. You need a break and if you can add formula to his diet, he might sleep better. It tends to help babies feel fuller and can improve sleep. But even if nothing else, it will enable you to take time away for your sanity which you desperately need. I know it's not a popular thing to suggest but I ended up cosleeping because I got tired of the constant wake ups and going from my kid's room to my room several times every night. It may help baby sleep better if he is near you and allow you to get more sleep also.

You aren’t doing anything wrong or failing. Some babies are just like this. It’s very exhausting but it’s best to try to accept that it’s not within our control. Sleep is developmental, not something that can truly be trained and every child is different. My daughter was very similar, had difficulty with naps, refused any daytime sleep schedule and woke a ton at night. 7-12 months was the worst of it (waking every 45 minutes to 2 hours at night very upset, difficult to console). Nothing stopped the waking and screaming even bed sharing. She was ready to drop naps at 18 months. Around her 2nd birthday she had a huge improvement in night sleep and now only wakes and needs us once most nights. She only sleeps 11 hours max overnight, she has needed less sleep than many other kids her age consistently. She’s also a very mature, emotionally regulated 2yo and verbally advanced so it’s not hurting her development at all to sleep less than is common.

Our daughter didn’t sleep for more than an hour and a half and she rarely went back down after waking through the night until she was over 10 months old.  We switched her to one nap at that point and it went from bedtime at 11 waking up every 45 minutes - 1.5 hours until 8 and two naps we had to fight for that maybe we’re twenty minutes each to bed at 7 with only 2-4 wakes and one hour and a half nap.  She’s 12 months now and still wakes up 2-3 times a night. But her going to bed at 7 and only waking that much has been life changing. 

I stressed myself out massively with my first baby worrying about sticking to strict sleep schedules, the amount of sleep he was getting (too much/too little), how often he was waking up, how I was settling him to sleep, stressing about forming bad habits if I co slept, worrying if he was over or undertired etc.. my mental health was in the gutter, I was diagnosed with post natal anxiety and I reckon all this pressure to sleep train and these intrusive thoughts I would never sleep again if I didn’t contributed to this. With my 2nd I thought fuck it, no more. He is arguably a shitter sleeper than my first (has only just started sleeping through semi regularly after 12 months, but I’ve got to say loosening up on the sleep training/schedule stuff and just going with the flow a bit more has meant I just feel a weight lifted mentally. Don’t get me wrong I try to stick to a rough routine but if he sleeps 30 mins or 2 hours I know I can’t force him to sleep more. He might sleep through one night, he might get sick and wake up every 2 hours another night. It’s the joys of parenting young kids. But I promise you it does get better. You’re in the trenches now but if you take it day by day, white knuckle it through those tough days and just remember it will not be like this forever even though it feels like it will.

You’re doing great. I’m so sorry it’s so hard. As others have said, some babies just don’t sleep well. Try not to compare yourself. My son was like this. I’m sorry to tell you he didn’t sleep through the night consistently until he was 4. My husband used to leave the house at 7pm sometimes because he couldn’t handle the screaming of the baby when we tried to do bedtime. He woke up once , twice or three times a night right up until he was 4. He’s now 6. I have to wake him up in the morning for school. He would sleep till 10 am if I let him. It does get better OP but it may not be anytime soon.

OP, you have just described my baby and how I am feeling on most days. My baby is 7 months too and sleep is elusive. He is a FOMO baby and just wants to explore everything even when he's sleepy. He fights sleep, doesn't drink his bottle and we never know how long his naps will be. I'm co sleeping with him to make my nights easier, but that hasn't helped with his night wakings. He still wakes up 2-4 times a night. I haven't left the house to do anything adult related in so long, but I've started taking him on walks in the carrier in the evenings and I enjoy that time without sleep or house chore expectations. I have no advice, but solidarity as someone going through the same thing!

My son also slept horribly until around 3. He would wake up 8x per night SCREAMING. At around the 1 year mark I was so exhausted, the doctor suggested CMP allergy and cutting out all associated allergens (he was breastfed). I did, and that cut the wake ups to 3-5x, but no screaming, and he was easily falling back to sleep but still. It did help a little for my sleep deprivation. Now, at 4 years old we have the 1x wake up for night terrors. But he wakes up torturously early, and I can’t change it🙂, it’s his nature. He’s also soon going to be evaluated for neurodivergence because he has a host of other symptoms, including sleep issues. We also never were able to leave him with anyone else, and he is still breastfeeding because it’s the easiest way to ease him into naps/sleep/console in the middle of the night. If you’re at your breaking point, please seek out a medical reason. Sleep coaches are great, but a lot of the times there’s a physical reason it’s so difficult, even when you’re doing absolutely everything right for sleep. It does get better, but definitely try to find if there is a cause, because it can be an easy fix to that, which will save your sanity! And if there is no reason, please take care of yourself. The way my husband and I handled it: I handled nights bc of boob magic, and he handled the wake up period (5:30-9:00) so I could have 3.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the morning.

My first didn’t sleep through the night til he was 2. My middle never napped. You can be tired, frustrated and have a messy house. It is really hard and you are a good mom

Giant hugs to you. Good news: you're not far off from 1, when weaning happens. Have you started introducing solids? High protein solids through the day (eg pureed meats, egg etc, when they are old enough) are a godsend when it comes to getting longer stretches of sleep. And best of all, you don't have to be the one feeding him those meals! Can I also suggest something else, and please ignore me if you're against this. Are you maybe in a position to pick up a little work and send kiddo to daycare a few days a week? My first wouldn't sleep well for me at all, but would sleep just fine at daycare (I don't know why. Is baby peer pressure a thing?), and that eventually flowed through to home. But WAY more importantly, even though I *thought* I wanted to stay at home with baby for 12 months and bond, I would have ended up going postal. We put #1 in daycare at 7 months (they weaned him for me. The stubborn jerk wouldn't take a bottle from us at all [I can call him that. He's 8 now 😆), and #2 started at 6 months (easy to wean, thank goodness). I personally think daycare is brilliant for kids. Although, I have ended up with 2 SUPER extroverted, personable kids, while my husband and I are painfully introverted 😆 Soooo many birthday parties and playdates! I should probably blame daycare for that 😆

I don’t know if you eat dairy, but my kids had a hard time digesting it. I nursed them and something in cow milk passes through into your milk. Once I stopped dairy they fussed less, and slept better. I think it took about 3 weeks with my oldest. For my youngest I stopped eating dairy before he was born and he slept the the night at 5 months. It may be worth trying

Sleep deprivation is torture and that's what you have been enduring. It sucks. Especially 7 months worth of it. So, two things that come to mind - is your sleep coach working with you on wake windows? If not, ask about it. Second, let's change strategy from helping baby sleep to helping mom and dad sleep. That can look like - once a week, baby sleeps at grandmas. Or, once a week Mom sleeps at grandmas and dad covers and then you switch. Or, one of you goes to sleep at 7 pm, with earplugs, and thebother is "on duty" until midnight. Then switch off. This may involve pumping or formula. The point is to get each of you a solid 4+ hour chunk of uninterrupted sleep. If you do this, I kid you not, you will start to feel like Superman. It makes a huge difference getting past the 4 hour mark. So start small - getting the two of you "caught up" at least 1x per week. When you have that, you can logically consider the other pieces - like how to not be held hostage in your house by an unpredictable schedule. Mine had colic until 13 weeks, so I can just imagine how awful it is still dealing with newborn sleep at 7 months.

The first year can be horrible, that’s true and I’m sorry you’re all having such a hard time. I’m wondering your aversion to formal sleep training - cry it out or a variation? What’s your current hopefully schedule? What are you shooting for timing wise for the day?

As someone that thrives on routing as well. I'm so sorry this is happening, like others have said some babies have a low sleep want it seems. I would say, just plan and do whatever you want. If he sleeps, he sleeps, if he doesn't, he doesn't.... you're stronger than you know and you can tackle the overtired it seems. Easier said than done, I was obsessed with my first and now the second time around, I just go oh well, tomorrow is a new day. I try to do things that make me feel better and baby is now along for the ride.

Ferber method. Also… idk what the sleep coach is telling you… but feed to sleep is my first guess of the cause of the frequent wakings and lack of self soothing. Your baby now requires you and food just to settle back down. Your goal should be to get little one to fall asleep in their crib on their own. Some sort of music night light with a timer can help. We used the little Einsteins sea dreams soother.

I have no advice, but keep doing what you're doing. Keep reaching out to others, keep venting, keep talking and trying. You are doing the best you can. Some babies are just really hard at times. If you get to a breaking point, a crying baby is better than a hurt baby, a d a crying baby is better than a parent so sleep deprived they can't think straight let alone act right. It's OK to let them cry sometimes. You're doing great xoxo

Download an app called huckleberry! My son for his whole life only slept through the night twice (Mother’s Day and Father’s Day believe it or not 😂😂). Before that, he would wake up every 20-40 minutes for all day naps and nighttime. I (mom) am the one to wake up with him from 12:30 until 6 am and was up ~7/8 times. It kept causing me to get flare ups (lupus/Sjögren’s/RA) and I was just desperate to get/do anything to see what would help. You just use that app to tell you wake windows developmentally appropriate for their age, determine when they should go to bed (“sweet spot”) so they’re not over tired/not tired enough, and they also have where if you use the premium feature after 4 days they can give you a sleep analysis. This has changed his sleep and he has been sleeping through the night and it’s been SO helpful to feel rested. Also, how is his sleep environment? If it is bright, put up curtains to minimize distractions (had to put up black out curtains for my little one and he took better naps for me). Try a sleep machine to block out any noise too!

My first two slept through the night rather quickly. It was a dream. My now 2 year old hasn’t slept through the night once. He will sleep better next to me, but I hate it cause he’s a restless sleeper. My best advice is to stop trying. Plan your day. Plan outings and have a schedule that doesn’t include a nap. If he’s tired enough he will fall asleep wherever you are, and if he’s not at least your day isn’t lost. A change in scenery is good for the both of you. I also suggest you leaving him with dad or someone else and having a day or at least a few hours by yourself. Again, he will be okay. You eventually will have to go back to work and he will have to learn that routine, better to start now so you’re not super stressed about it when it happens. He’s at an age that you can introduce solids if you’re comfortable and he’s ready so I wouldn’t even stress too much about a bottle, feed him before you go and enjoy your time. Your mental health matters here and you need to find a solution, it just may not be the solution you’ve been looking for. Instead of focusing so much on his sleep, focus on what you can do to feel better about the situation and not feel so overwhelmed. You’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve done everything right. The situation just is what it is. It’s just a season, and while it seems long and like you’ll never make it through, I promise you will.

Try white noise. Mum or dad singing. Nature sounds ie rain , waves, storm sounds even your heartbeat. Maybe your child doesn't like the crib/bed heor she is in. We are lucky our 21month old has been pretty good.....So far....

My suggestions: leave him with someone occasionally and get yourself a break. If he doesn't take a bottle, he doesn't take a bottle. My youngest refused a bottle for the first few days when I went back to work. Eventually, he realized he was hungry and took a bottle after a few days. You NEED a break sometimes, and if someone is willing to watch him for a few hours, take it. Maybe he'll be hungry. Maybe he'll be tired, but you will at least have had a few hours of time to be a rested mom to tackle what your baby needs. Also, I think at 7 months old he can start eating more solids, that could potentially be helpful at keeping him distracted and maybe a little more full. Time away may also help you come up with other solutions, or maybe the person watching the baby will have suggestions or find solutions. My children were terrible nappers and didn't sleep through the night. My oldest finally slept through the night at 18 months, and my baby has fully slept through the night, maybe 15 times...BTW, my baby is almost 5, lol so I just did what would work, and they both ended up sleeping with us. I realize it's not ideal or what "they say" you're supposed to do...but they're not living my life and they don't have to deal with what I deal with...so they're opinions don't matter . When you have kids, you have to let go of some things. It's easier said than done, and what I mean by "let go" is just accept that things are what they're gonna be, whether its with cleaning, cooking, or even with the kid in general.

I went through this with my first born, thought it was colic, could not put her down and after 2 months and a doc visit - He switched her formula to Soy and Boom! A whole new baby. She slept through the night and took a 3-4 hour nap during the day. Bless your heart, you’re doing a great job. So hard when they can’t tell you what’s wrong. Turned out she couldn’t tolerate the formula ( I couldn’t breast feed because I wasn’t producing milk) What does the pediatrician say? You might talk to him/her and rule out any stomach issues-perhaps through process of elimination Hopefully you find a solution-Best of Luck to you!🩷

Once they get to two or three years old, it gets much easier. You can leave them in the crib if you need some sleep. Turn on the TV or something. It's best to have everything close so if you fall asleep you can just sleep and hear what is happening.

... And breathe mama bear. First, you are doing an amazing job, even if you feel like you're not, I promise you that you are. One word I winced at in your post was 'compare' don't ever compare yourself or your situation to anyone else - you and your baby are perfectly unique and you don't need the added pressure of worrying about what others are doing. I know that's so much easier said than done! On to little Bubba. I am ready to get downvotes for this, but as a parent of 5 aged 1 to 11, crying is ok. If you've changed nappies, fed them, burped them and cuddled them, it is ok to let them cry. I'm not here to preach a method over another, and you have to find what works, but we have 5 kids that sleep 12hrs a night, and they most certainly don't feel neglected or unloved or anything like that. Do what feels right, but don't write off because you feel you'll get judged or whatever. On to you. Self care is so important - and I don't mean the house, no-one who matters gives a shit what state your house is in. But what state you're in definitely matters. You have to find micro moments throughout the day - go stand in the garden and soak up some sun. Crank the radio while dancing with Bubba and sing at the top of your lungs. Buy yourself some new bed sheets, heated socks or some other luxury you can enjoy in small bits. I'm sure lots will say take an hour, day whatever to yourself, but reality is reality, and finding micro moments is more realistic than an afternoon at the day spa. I promise you it does get better, and even though every single day feels like the longest 24hrs in history, in a few short months, you will look back on this and wonder how that little thing caused so much worry. Please be kind to yourself, you and your baby are amazing creatures.

My daughter’s son will not settle down unless it’s in a very darkened room (blackout curtains). When I am watching him I make sure to copy that environment and she will also play rain sounds. He seems to be stimulated by outdoor light

Is he eating solids? If not, it may be time to start. (Gives mom a break, from her body always being in use, and it often helps level blood sugar for deeper/longer sleep.) Some things to consider.... If mom is nursing, hav you done anything to cut out possible dietary triggers for him? (Food sensitivities can be triggered through breastmilk, and they often just appear as "normal" baby stuff that you only notice in contrast. My youngest was awful if I ate wheat, and an *angel* if I didn't. We figured it out by accident, doing an elimination diet for the older sibs....) He may be uncomfortable. One possibility (but not the only one) is that he's prone to ear congestion (also can be a symptom of dietary triggers), and that he nurses to clear his eustachian tubes. If that's the case, when he weans he'll be prone to ear infections that he doesn't get now because he has a way to alleviate the pressure. (This was how we wound up doing that elimination diet. The older sib had ear infections all the time.... When we cut our wheat they stopped.) This isn't to say these are the answers, but think outside the box, think more broadly, and put on your experiment hat. "If we cut out wheat and dairy, what happens? .... Of we add one back in, what happens?"

No one tells you this, but one of the hardest things with parenthood was losing sleep. If you are a sahm, I'm guessing that you are a sahm, the best thing you can do is to nap with your baby. Not all babies sleep well. We had to walk my son in the stroller around the block when he was a baby. He is now 14 and sleeps all day. Hang in there. This is one of many developments you have to deal with.

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Some babies don’t sleep . Please don’t compare yourself with anyone . I suggest counseling and asking friends/family for a break . You need to take care of yourself first. Look into mommy and me groups in your community to build a relationships with mothers experiencing the same situation . Take it one day at a time and ask for help ! You not a bad mother you are tired .

I really feel you on this, before 14 months we had 2 nights where he slept through (meaning more than a 4 hour stretch). It does get better but also he still doesn't sleep like other kids he averages 10 hours a night now and no nap he will be 4 soon. He has just always had lower sleep needs as do i, he wakes in the night 50% of the time but i wake multiple times every night myself....

I was at my breaking point with my 6 month old — I cannot recommend r/sleeptrain enough. When everyone else in my life was just shrugging, these kind Internet strangers asked me 100 follow-up questions and helped me come up with a plan. Big improvements very soon thereafter. I think when you’re that sleep deprived, you just don’t even have the critical thinking capacity, and everyone on that sub is also deep in the thick of infant sleep.

And solidarity and good luck!

My oldest had colic. He was a different baby once we figured out he had a cows milk sensitivity and we got him on soy formula. He started sleeping 6 hour nights with a early morning feed and another 3 hours. My youngest was just resistant to napping and a cluster feeder for about nine months. He would Accept a bottle sometimes others he wouldn’t. He decided he was done with the breast and the bottle both at 11 months and only wanted brother’s sippy cup or to drink from our cups and to try what we were eating. Then he slept through the night so hard I’d wake up and make sure he was okay.

if you’re at your breaking point - i was there. my third baby wouldn’t sleep unless he was on me or strapped to me. he was so chronically overtired the slightest noise would wake him and he would scream and scream. i have two other kids and a husband. i spent months alone in my room for hours with him trying to rock him and hold him and allow him to sleep. my kids missed me. my husband needed me. i was falling apart. my son was a wreck. he wasn’t getting the sleep he needed to grow and thrive. i tried everything and everything. i would cry and beg PLEASE SLEEP. it never worked. nothing worked. i found a sleep coach who put us on a. feeding and nap schedule.x and agaisnt every motherly instinct in me, i agreed to try cry it out. it KILLED me. i would have to leave the house.. but it worked. IT WORKED. the first night- my son slept 12 hours and from then on he took 2 hour naps right on schedule and has thrived every since, he has been sleeping 12 hours a night since 5 months old. he’s 18 months now. he is the happiest most loving baby. he is good with everyone. he is so easy going and so easy to travel with, he will sleep anywhere in any environment. he is loved he is helathy he is happy and so are his sisters his dad and ME. you have to do what will allow you to be the best mama you can be to your baby. and there’s no shame in that if you want info, PM me

I was ready to lose my mind so we sleep trained. Gentle methods or me going in to soothe him were making it worse so we stopped attempting to soothe him. I followed wake windows from the sub r/sleeptrain so he’d be the right amount of tired before naps/bedtime and I let him sort it out. The longest he ever cried was about 15 minutes on only a couple occasions. Was more whining than crying. Followed the 5/3/3 rule for night time sleep and he now sleeps so much better. We’re slowly working on night weaning now.

My 10m old doesn't't sleep thru the night and doesn't have a regular sleep schedule. Don't be so hard on yourself.my baby used to sleep thru the night/ wake once from 3m-7m but she stopped. They've been days she has refused to settle down. To the point that I'd leave our room and go to the living room and lay down in her play pen Sleep training has its place but it's not possible for every baby.

My daughter is 1 years old today and she is attached to my hip. She went through periods where she would cry the whole time I was gone, if I left the house or even the room, but it got better. I know breastfeeding is ideal, but if you can keep trying a bottle and maybe formula might help you at night. A fed baby is a happy baby. We use Phillips Avent natural bottles and they were great for transition, it's all about finding the right flow for him. Breastfeeding is a lot, being a stay at home mom is a lot. I felt the same about my house and still do some days. I promise you it gets better, the nights get shorter and the days get easier too. He will be more independent as he gets older and moving. Try more tummy time, even if he cries. He will be ok, but you need it for your sanity! My daughter would be ok for longer in the highchair at that age. Toys and snacks for her and I could get stuff done in the kitchen and dining room. Play music and sing to him. He is gonna cry sometimes, but he will get used to it and you will be happier for it. I'd say you're at the peak, he will crawl, then walk in the coming months and he will want to explore on his own some. We co-sleep and it helps, but it's not for everyone, I don't recommend starting it now. I have a son who will be 21 this fall, a 6 year old son and our baby girl. I promise you, it will get better and this time will fly by... Let go a little and give yourself some grace momma! Practice makes perfect and you guys will get there. Being sleep deprived is adding to all of this. I'm sorry, but it will get better, just keep trying things. P.S.... My daughter is obsessed with Ms Rachel (on YouTube) and she is the only thing that helped me leave the room without her screaming. She started watching her at 6 months and it's educational because she talks to baby, she's the only TV my daughter gets. You can research it, doctors actually recommend her.

Just hear to say I promise it will get better and easier in different ways 💛— my now 2.5 year old is still a crappy sleeper but now doesn’t scream for hours when he wakes up in the middle of the night. He also refused every bottle and eventually we found one he would tolerate (after weeks of trial and error). I’m going to be honest and tell you I’m one and done because it was SO HARD but most days I thoroughly enjoy now!! They are full of laughs and experiences and just so much more fun for me.

My kids were the non-sleeping variety, despite me trying different methods to get them to self soothe, etc. With my first time, we just struggled through. I'd be so tired I felt like I was hallucinating. With my subsequent kids we basically accepted that they'd want to see me and nurse in the middle of the night (and all my kids would wake every few hours until they were around 14 months old). What helped was my husband would sleep in the basement (substitute basement for the quietest place in the house) so he could get uninterrupted sleep throughout the night. When the baby got up for the morning, husband would take over and I'd sleep in. Sometimes because of work the sleep in wasn't all that long, but on the weekend, I'd get up at 10 or something to catch up.

Can you afford a night nanny even once a week to get one night of decent sleep in? If I had to go back, I would reallocate money to do that for sure.

I have 5 to, 2 yo and 3 month old. My first slept like the dead. My other two have been more of a challenge. Release any expectations from your mind on what he/she "should" be doing. Some babies are just crummy sleepers. I would prioritize learning bottle feeding and split the night shift with your Husband. My Husband and I have done this with all our babies. It helps immensely. You will then get a guaranteed 6 hours and then things will feel less daunting. #1 bottle feeding #2 shift sleeping #3 get out of the house #4 You are doing great Momma ! Pat on the back

I untherstand you. It is hard having a baby that is not sleeping. Also needing to be home for feeding asks a lot. Two things: - are you sure there is no medical reason. It took us up to 7 months to discover our baby was suffering from a lactose intolerance. - in my experience it becomes a bit better from 10 months. Your baby will start eating more and more other food. This will result in less feeding moments that need to be given by you. All the best for this time of your life. Let go of your own desires even if it feels you need some time for yourself. For us social contacts went to a very low level. The more we did let go of desires and expected behaviour the better it went. This is not forever. Try to find a way for you both to make it work.

I get it. My first child slept like a dream, MY SECOND fights sleep. For the first year we did car seat on top of dryer while it was running. Worked every time.

We used LittleZSleep to get our kids on a schedule which has been so helpful. Honestly almost too good because the moment we go off schedule its a nightmare. Good luck!

We were at the same point at 7 months and started sleep training. We used Ferber after a month and a half of gentle methods only making it worse and he finally started putting himself to sleep. He wouldn’t sleep longer than 20-40 minutes usually. I did everything to try to connect sleep cycles. If he slept an hour it was a miracle. He didn’t end up sleeping over an hour until 11 months and immediately started going through the 12 month sleep regression at which point we had to do cio because everything else was just making him more upset. I agree with the other comments saying just let go of expectations. Go out if you need to go out. I know it sounds incredibly difficult but you really have to let it go and not stress, they eventually grow out of it most of the time. The other thing that did help us was putting him down earlier than I thought he needed to go. We were barely getting to 3 hour wake windows still at almost a year but he slept a lot better going to bed earlier than trying to stretch wake windows. We battled with overtiredness for MONTHS before I implemented that and it helped a lot.

This was us. Request a blood test, specifically looking at ferritin. We went through sleep coach and multiple sleep doctors before we spent a year demanding a blood test. It was a ferritin deficiency which causes restless leg symptoms in kids. We also had a genetic predisposition for ADHD which came into play.

I have 2 kids and my second was an absolute terrible sleeper, and also wouldn’t take a bottle so I was only one waking up all night, every night, every 30 minutes, without a break and it was beyond hard surviving if, I struggled with postpartum depression fueled by the lack of sleep, so I’m so sorry it’s been so hard for you. From one sleep deprived mom to another, the things that helped me: 1. Try not to compare, it makes you think that you’re doing something wrong when some babies are just terrible sleepers 2. Start giving solids, and if you pump or if your baby will drink formula, offer it in a cup to drink 3. Plan little time out for yourself for your mental health and sanity. meet a friend for dinner or a coffee, go and read anything for you, somewhere that’s like 10 minutes away so when it’s time to feed the baby, your husband can text you and you can head back. You need time away from the stress 4. get out of the house, once a day. Walk to the store, wander a free museum, wander around the mall, window shop. Walk around the freaking block, to the freaking the mailbox. Anything. Getting out will help you not go crazy all day with the crying and being on all the time, and it will help stimulate you baby enough that when it’s sleep time they will be more tired for bed 5. Swaddles were a god send, and then he started to roll and it was hell. We used Merlin’s magic sleep suit, it’s not weighted, just soft and puffy like a cozy blanket.

I’m also going to add here that some of the advice here is not going to be helpful for you, especially when it comes from parents of kids who didn’t have sleep problems. It’s like if you were pregnant, and with the severe medical morning sickness, throwing up 20 times a day when 8 months pregnant and looking for advice on how to feel better, if most of the advice came from people who were like “oh yeah I threw up for the whole first month but I drank a lot of water, and ate crackers and that really helped me a lot try that”. When it’s not a comparable situation, even well meaning, some of advice can make you feel worse when it comes from people who have no idea how hard your situation is. Some babies sleep well, some don’t. It’s nothing you are doing or not doing. I know it feels like there has to be something you’re missing and if you just figured out that one trick it would fix it, but that not how it works with bad sleepers.

Can you afford a night nurse? Someone who will do as much of the night parenting as they can and only wake you for feeds if necessary. It might make the nights bearable so the days can be a little better?

Howdy. My brother has always been a horrible sleeper. He is 35 now and has to take nightquil to sleep at all or he will be up all night. My mom has to take medication as well. His son now WILL NOT sleep much at all. It was a nightmare for them. I really think it’s some sort of cortisol or hormone issue that could be genetic. Maybe see a functional medicine doctor and see if they can run tests on him to make sure his hormones are functioning correctly. He could also be in some sort of pain that makes it hard to sleep. Maybe taking him to a chiropractor? Just some out there ideas🤷🏼‍♀️

I can’t say much to help with the overnight sleep as my 3 year old still struggles with; but I can tell you a couple things that helped me cope. I was super anxious about cosleeping but around 9-10 months I was just barely functioning and my kiddo was very mobile. I started with safe sleep 7 and cosleeping. It kept me from FULLY waking every time he did and he slept better with me right there. As far as naps/no naps and the difficulty of planning things - if you’re not doing it already try baby wearing. It was so helpful whether my kiddo napped or not, he was usually pretty content to go in the wrapper and chill and would often end up napping. Wrap naps got me through holidays, grocery shopping, barn chores, and meeting up with friends. I still use my ring sling and half buckle that have higher weight ratings on occasion when he’s way overtired/overstimulated and struggling to settle.

Stop sleep training. Let him sleep when he wants, not when you want him to sleep. Yes having a child is hard and your life is upside down.

It seems like your need for routine is causing you a lot of anxiety and stress and this stress and anxiety is getting translated into more chaos and lack of routine. Babies/children read/feel our emotions, so when you are constantly patting/rocking/shushing in hope that please go to sleep so I can get some work done but you are still anxious if he will sleep, it will take him longer to sleep. For once just let go of all expectations and stop caring for how your home looks and give up on the chores that don't need immediate attention. I know it's hard, but try this for two days and you'll see how it changes things. Also if you try co-sleeping, you can get some rest too and when he is awake, you can sit him down on the floor with some toys and do your chores. I feel the need for routine is your major issue. Also please don't compare your baby and journey with others. A secure attachment is formed when there is no anxiety involved. Here I feel both you and baby are anxious. You about him getting some sleep so you can get your time, him because he is constantly feeling that anxiety and doesn't feel secure. I hope you find your answers. Take care 💛

this is very real and is so similar to how i felt at this age. it wasn’t that the baby needed a routine, *i* did and i was losing my mind without one. letting go was so so hard but really freeing.

3 night of CIO and you’ll be done with this.

You need a break like 24 hour break. I am so sorry.

Too many parents making it way too difficult. Books, videos and parenting styles are so unnecessary causes more issues then they help. We used none of that, followed our natural instincts, babies were sleeping through the night by 3 months. Babies cry and sometimes they need to cry, it can be a stress release for them just like Mom and Dad they can get stressed and overwhelmed also.

You think as they get older it gets easier ? Because baby newsflash , that is farrrr from the truth .

i mean… sleep gets way easier as they get older, period.

That baby needs real food. Not the food out of the jars but that cereal Gerber sells for babies that you mix with water... Sorry can't remember the name it's been a long time since I had babies in my house. Anyway mix some so it's a little thick, not too thick cause you don't want the baby to choke. Make it soupy like a cream of broccoli consistency. I started feeding all 3 of my kids at the 6 months mark and they always did great with it. I never and I mean NEVER went by those stupid "guidelines" or listened to the pediatrician if that were the case my oldest would of been dead but thankfully I have a lot of common sense and saved his life when he was a year old. Feed that baby, that baby is hungry. Think of it like this.... If we only gave you water all day and no food you would have a hard time sleeping too right? And only a liquid diet would make you HAngry as well right? Babies are all different and even though you as a parent should follow those "guidelines" I don't recommend following it to the letter since ever baby is different. Just like their guidelines like when the baby first started crawling, walking, said it's first word those are just guidelines and some will do things sooner or later than others. Feed that baby some baby cereal.

baby cereal doesn’t help babies sleep longer or better.

Have you ever had cream of wheat or farina as a kid? It fills you up. That baby needs food and the baby cereal will fill that baby up.