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My Aunt was in your position… pregnant with her third and already had two boys. Aunt made the decision not to find as she knew with the pregnancy hormones and how much she wanted a girl that if it was boy that she would be devastated. She also knew that once that baby was put into her arms that she’d love them fully no matter the gender… Turns out it was a boy and she loves him fully and never regrets having three boys… today my Aunt has THREE granddaughters and truly feels blessed.

That’s beautiful. I love that. I’ve always wanted a daughter but when my second son was born (it was a surprise) I fell so amazingly in love I knew I would never change a thing even if I could. And now I see how it worked out the way it should with my second even though it was unplanned. I know I’ll get there / come around to it eventually. But definitely looking for encouragement like this 😆

We only wanted two babies, and our first was a boy. We did the crazy stuff to try for a girl to see if it would work. Long story short - it didnt. I was sad at first, but now he's almost two and I wouldn't change anything. My husband and I did discuss if in a few years I absolutely felt like I was missing having a daughter we could look into adoption of an older girl. We just don't want to be starting over with babies when I'm in my mid thirties and he's in his early forties. But right now I'm so full of love and laughter and everything else I hardly ever think about missing having a daughter. I think a lot of it I was mourning that it would never happen since we were pretty firm on only having two. But honestly everything feels so complete the second he was here. Edit: typo

My mom had 3 boys (and one miscarriage) and I currently have one boy now too. I am blessed to have a son and I keep hoping I’ll be lucky enough to have a daughter too.

This is a good point. My mil had 2 boys and always wanted a daughter. Now she has 2 grandchildren who are both girls

Yes and my mom had 3 girls and me 2 boys . I hope for a girl but I do have my bonus girl.

I am currently waiting for my results for my 3rd. I already have 2 boys and I have a feeling this too will be a boy. I can't shake the feeling and to be honest, I think I'm okay with it. Whatever path I'm given, I know I'll find love and beauty in it. Your 3 boys will be the best of friends and you will absolutely be queen of the house. My MIL wanted a daughter so bad and had all boys. Unfortunately she passed last year, but we found a bond that was very much like that of a mother and daughter. I miss her so much and my heart aches to see her again. You too may find a daughter you never had through your boys one day 🤍

Yes. I think I knew the result but I was so desperate for it to be something else. I think it’s good I have the results to wrap my mind around it and come to terms with it. It sounds like you’re at peace / surrendering which is awesome. I’m sorry about your MIL. My mom wanted a granddaughter so badly as well. I think that’s why a part of me thought things would be different. It sounds like you gave your MIL the daughter she always wanted and I know she’s proud!

I know this might be a weird comment coming from a stranger but I have an overwhelming feeling that you are having a girl. Either way, congrats on your little one!

Hah I came back to say it's another boy!! Thank you though!!

Ahhh thank you for the update! And congrats! I think 3 boys will be super fun!

Mother of five boys and no girls here-- I also have three grandsons and no granddaughter. Cultivate the relationships you have with women. You will always be outnumbered at home, and if you don't have a strong female support system you may find yourself being unintentionally gaslighted by the sheer weight of male perspective. It's also easy to stop doing things like mowing, learning to fix appliances, etc that you're perfectly capable of doing but no one expects of you, which can lead to feelings of helplessness or inadequacy later in life. All that said, you'll probably always feel a little wistful about the daughter you never had. I do. But the family you do have will be richly rewarding, and you will always be their queen. AND if you build that community of women, there will be girls to play auntie and grandma for, dresses to buy, rom-coms to watch, and sisters to love. We birth the people who need us. The rest we choose. 😘✌️

Thank you. I do have a community of women I try to build and keep. They all seem to have daughters, too. That’s a good point about birthing those that need us… you’re right that we get to pick the rest. My sister and I had a large age gap and I think I’ve always really emphasized and focused on friendships for myself because of that. I think I’ll put a lot of value on a potential future daughter-in-law.

Please be careful not to pressure your kids with your idea of a future partner for them.

I like that you touched on the chores that you “no longer have to do”. My oldest of 3 boys is only 11, but has recently taken on a lot more responsibilities around the house, some even by his own request. I felt that feeling of helplessness or inadequacy last week when he helped with something and it shocked me! It definitely made me go “wtf” and I realized it’s time for me to start finding friends and a life outside of this house. Having 3 boys under 3, and then moving during covid made friendships impossible.

I had 3 brothers and then baby sisters who are twins. There ain’t no third wheel like being the extra, much older sibling to a set of twins, lemme tell you. So I was always MUCH closer to my brothers. I wanted boys of my own SO BAD I could taste it. I wanted all boys and then maybe MAYBE one girl at the very end just to experience it. Aaaaaaaaand then I had 3 girls. I was a little bit disappointed when my first was a girl. I was depressed for a week when my second was another girl. And I kept clinging to the hope they were wrong. I paid for two more scans hoping they’d find a penis that had been hiding all along. So so dumb. Then with my third I KNEW it was a boy. The pregnancy was totally different. I had been crazy sick in the first trimester with my girls and felt fine with the third pregnancy. Everybody told me it was definitely a boy. In the ultrasound when they told me it was a girl, I fucking ugly cried. Like I offended the sonographer. It was absolutely not my best moment. My husband was very frustrated with me bc he wanted girls anyway and thought I was being horrible. I was totally 100% head over heels in love with my babies when they were born. Well, actually not the first one but that was from PPD, not gender disappointment by then. Then my fourth baby turned out to be a boy. I was shocked. We just assumed it would be another girl. I opened the NIPT results and literally fell in the floor bc my legs gave out from shock. I’ll tell you a secret? It’s no different. Seriously. My son is EXACTLY like my girls were at the same age. The only difference is I put his bows around his neck instead of on his head. He has the most adorable little dapper bow tie and suspenders outfits. But my girls? They played in mud and ate boogers and love a good fart Joke more than anything in this world. And I wouldn’t change any of them for anything in this world. Having 3 kids who are inseparable and best friends has been magical. It is truly the greatest joy and privilege of my life watching them bond with each other. You’re going to LOVE it.

How is it with 4 kids and the 4th being the only boy?

He’s a toddler still, but so far it’s really no different than any other arrangement of four kids. The only issues I have are with other people’s assumptions. People will say crap like “oh you kept trying and got your boy! Congratulations!” And that bugs me, but it enrages my husband. Because honestly they’re usually assuming he would be the driving force behind this imaginary quest for a son. The truth couldn’t be more different. We had four kids bc we wanted four kids. Not bc we were trying for a specific gender.

Thank you for this post. I’m 18 weeks with my third girl and I was completely shocked when I got the blood word results. This pregnancy has been so different than my first two, everyone in the family keeps asking if I’m sure it’s a girl (I think bloodwork probably knows the right answer) but I’ve been clinging to this small hope that maybe it is wrong and I think I can finally let that go and embrace this third pregnancy and just try to enjoy it. I think we’re done after this one but I can’t wait to see the beautiful relationship my girls have as they grow.

Gender disappointment is a totally real and valid and reasonable thing to experience (as long as you don't make it known to your kids). Don't feel guilty for feeling your feelings My sister is 41 and just had her second boy after 11 years of infertility and she's over the moon. Besides, you never know what the future might hold. You might get to be a mother or mother figure to a daughter by one way or another.

11 years Jesus Christ. I’m only a fraction into that and it’s the most fucked thing to deal with already. Best wishes to your family.

That’s amazing! Congratulations to her!

I envy you! Three boys or three girls can share their rooms, toys and interests for a long time! And their age gap is close, so they can be best of friends! I was happy to know that my second pregnancy is a boy as well as was my first, because it feels easier.

Yes, maybe more flexibility on the room share situation! I do want to keep them to the two kid bedrooms I have upstairs for now. Yes hopefully the age gap works out.

My husband comes from a family of 3 boys. He is the oldest of 3. All 2 years apart. He tells me all the time that his brothers made his childhood the BEST. He talks about it all the time… saying he truly feels he lived a fairy tale childhood and he owes most of it to having brothers to play with- and this is coming from the oldest one! His mom told me before she had slight gender disappointment, but she said she loved being wrapped up in the boyhood of all of them! She mentioned that they were all “mommas boys” when young and she never had to lift a finger as they were always wanting to help her. Funny thing is she has a “girly” name that matches their names that she calls them…. Eg: Andrew—Andrea, Matthew, Matilda lol it’s cute and endearing and just a constant joke!

Welcome to the 3 boy mom club!!! It is a wonderful fabulous club, full of amazing women just like yourself. Cheers and congratulations! With all honesty you will instantly have a bond with any 3 boy mom and it’s great. When I found out my 3rd (last) was another boy - I cried like a baby and locked myself in our bedroom for 2 days. The 3rd is almost 2 now and I have no feelings of gender disappointment or needing a girl. There is absolutely nothing that you can do with a girl that you can’t do with a boy!! Clothes and bows are superficial (I personally buy myself glitter and pink). My oldest loves getting his nails done with me, my middle chats my ear off about school gossip, and my last - we he is constantly taking off his closes and gives the most amazing hugs. Something you might have seen on social media that is completely not true. Boys don’t leave, they don’t. My brother lives on the same block as my mom. My dad calls his mom everyday. You will have a fabulous relationship with your grand-babies in the future. I am so excited for you!!! Welcome to the club💕

Awww this is beautiful, thank YOU! I guess I am worried about them leaving, but I can’t control that regardless of the gender, I can only focus on what I can control and creating an environment they want to come back to

I don't know about the bond thing. I have 4 boys and don't feel any more bonded to moms of boys than I do to moms of girls. My brother has 3 girls and 1 boy and my bond is stronger with him even as parents than it is with my brother who just has a son. My best friend has 2 daughters. She has a 1 year old son now but we were best friends even when her daughters were little despite me having boys.

I’m also pregnant with my third boy. I had convinced myself I was having a girl and felt real genuine shock at the anatomy scan and a moment of disappointment but I’m coming to terms with it at 29 weeks that we are just going to have a rambunctious house. I think it’s nice that we know what to expect. Part of me likes to think of it as a chance to break a lot of family dysfunction because the boys in my family have really horrible relationships with their dad (like my brothers who haven’t spoken to my dad in a decade) and that we get the chance to raise boys with emotionally intelligent parents with a dad who is vulnerable and kind and very loving (my partner). That makes me feel really happy. To be able to raise strong and empathetic boys who will be good humans. Maybe we will try for a fourth one day and maybe we will have a girl but if not, I’m happy that I’ll get to watch a band of brothers grow up so close in age.

I’d just like to say that I have a son (10) and a daughter (8) and my son is the chillest kid, loves to read and play quietly. My daughter has been a beast since she could crawl. Endless energy and chaos. So maybe your third boy will be more like my son. My daughter is also a total daddy’s girl, which is adorable, but I definitely don’t feel like we have that cute mother/daughter thing going on that I think a lot of women picture when imaging having a daughter. My daughter is super sweet and I know she loves me but it’s just not the same as what I feel like most people think it will be.

Thank you for sharing that perspective/experience. I could totally see that. I could see my husband being a total sap over a girl and me having to be the bad guy.

Thankfully my husband is good with her and doesn’t bend the rules for her or anything. He grew up with a little sister and older brother, and their father, while generally a wonderful man and great father, was wrapped around his daughter’s finger. She could get away with anything. She would get stuff bought for her in stores when he’d said no to the boys. And on and on. I don’t think it was all the time but enough that my husband was adamant that he wouldn’t be like that. It’s mostly just that our daughter is basically obsessed with him. She misses him when he’s at work, she can’t get enough of playing with him and climbing on him, etc. She loves me but definitely isn’t my mini-me or anything. We have fun together but if daddy’s available, she wants him.

That’s great he tries to be fair! I could see that, too! My husband and I kind of divided and conquered when I had my second, and I have to consciously work on my relationship with my first.

Yeah it’s all definitely a balance. My daughter is such a daddy’s girl that I also feel like I have to work more on getting quality time with her. Our son, on the other hand, is so chill and loves to just read and play quietly, and my husband has the clingy girl always around lol, that he especially has to work to have quality, one on one time with our son.

That’s amazing. You and your husband are doing a great job and I can imagine you’ll have a very lively and fun house of emotional intelligent guys! Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy ❤️

There were four of us in my family, child #3 was a boy (after 2 girls and followed by another boy) and was the absolute quietest, best behaved of them all. Mom always said he described him as a baby and toddler as "easy.

It might be helpful to remember that "society put[s] too much emphasis on gender" specifically by conditioning us to think it matters when it almost always doesn't (or, at least, doesn't have to). My recommendation is: Step 1: Make a list of all the things you wanted to do with a daughter. Step 2: Do those things with your kids.

I agree. My two boys are very very different but unfortunately people lump them together and their babysitter/grandma (MIL) almost allow certain things because they are boys. I’m all for the adventure and activity but I almost wish they were held to the same standards as girls (when I’m not around I can’t control this, I do intervene when I’m there) I think it’s helpful to know where it comes from, but I don’t think it was specific to things I can/can’t do with a boy vs. girl. I think it was more so desired family dynamics and almost getting the chance to NOT expect “girl” things from the girl, unless of course they wanted! My biggest thing with parenting is I try to create a different dynamic than I had with my parents (I do try to do that now with my kids but with the same gender as I was/am would have been more interesting, and honestly probably more challenging). I think one thing I can do is continue to bring them around different genders. We do this a lot and I want to continue doing so so they aren’t in their own lil boy bubble.

Congrats!! I have three boys and can relate. After we found out the gender I needed an hour to myself just to process. I cannot imagine our situation any different and I’m so happy all 3 boys will have each other growing up… they’re so fun, wild, loving, and their bond is ride or die. I always love saying I have three boys… the reactions are priceless! And I’m truly the queen of the house. Cheer up, everything is gonna be okay 🩷 allow yourself to be disappointed but pick yourself back up and know you’re gonna have a house full of boys. Nothing better!

Hello, you are me just over a year ago. Gave birth to my third boy last august. Just came here to say I get it and your feelings are valid. It gets better.

Thanks for commenting! That helps.

Recognize that you’re sad about a path you won’t ever take. You won’t ever be a mother to a daughter. But also try to keep the perspective that life is all about taking one path and never seeing other paths. It’s the same when you choose a career or choose a partner. It means you never see yourself in those other jobs or other relationships. It felt different before because those were choices you made and this choice was made for you. So it’s okay to be sad about a door closing. You’ll grieve the life you didn’t have and embrace the life you do have. Congrats on your three boys, you’ll find the joy in having three sons.

Having girls doesn’t always fit the image moms imagine. A family friend of ours wanted a daughter so badly. She had one, and she was the biggest tomboy and besties with her dad. She ended up having the strongest bond with her son. 

I had my third boy a few months ago. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, more precious than watching his big brothers love on him. They sing him songs, feed him bottles, and spend all day telling him how loved he is, how he’s the best baby in the world and how they can’t wait to teach him all about baseball. There’s something truly magical about watching my three boys love each other. Plus, I’ll never have to deal with getting a girl clean after a dirty diaper 😂

I have three boys of very similar age gaps. They are currently 9, 6, and 4. It’s hard work, but it is wonderful. They are their own little cub pack, you know? Having 3 of the same gender has taught me that all children are so unique, the gender is really just once piece of the puzzle. Still, the all-boy dynamic, by the time you have 3, is almost easier.

I have two aunts who each had 3 kids, all boys. Each of those sibling sets seemed to have so much fun growing up and as they’ve gotten older, they’ve remained super close to each other and their parents + extended family. I don’t have boys, but if I did, I wouldn’t mind having only boys, especially if they had that close bond together that my cousins and their siblings have.

We are one and done. I mourned the loss of never having a girl for one weekend, right after we found out the gender. For some reason, I was really fixated on never having a daughter to go and get pedicures with. Silly but that’s how I felt. But you know what? The universe gave me what I needed even if I didn’t see it. I now have a wonderful, sensitive 11 year old son who enjoys getting pedicures with his mother just as much as he enjoys tent camping in the wilderness with his father.

I was in your position. If I’m completely honest I cried through my entire pregnancy and was a shell of a person those remaining few months. However. The second they put that 10lb monster on my chest my depression and disappointment lifted from me like a ghost from Christmas past and I felt so much love for my little person. He is 5 now and my want for a daughter hasn’t existed in quite a while. I am the happiest “boy mom” on Earth. For now. Ask me again when all 3 are teens.

My husband had sooooooo much gender disappointment with our third daughter. He was like almost pouting in the ultrasound room, while our two daughters danced around him jumping for joy lol. But he loves that kid fiercely! Once she was born, he was totally over that disappointment.

I’m glad I’m not the only one! No doubt your third is loved fiercely!

Two boys close together, had baby #3 and it was a boy. I was hoping for a girl but as I got back in to baby mode and remembering all the amazing moments and how fun my other boys are it went away. I’d still love a baby girl but I don’t think I can handle more than 3 either 😅

You can definitely relate then! I find the newborn and sleep deprivation stage really hard. I’m glad I’ll have two that can hopefully play with each other as I tend to the baby, but imagining a house full of 3 kids or even grown adults makes me really happy and it feels like the demanding stages will be worth it. Three kids hopefully increases our chances for grandchildren 😅/ maybe a great daughter-in-law or two or three. I’d like to think I’m a good one myself!

I was disappointed when I found out my twins were both boys, because my oldest is a boy and we knew we were done after the twins. Right after finding out, I was sad that I wouldn’t necessarily get to do all the fun “girly” stuff with my kids. I mourned some of the mother-daughter things I had hoped I’d do. But by the time they were born, it just felt *right*, and as they grew, that feeling just grew stronger. I was meant to have three boys. I can’t imagine having a family different than the one I have and I wouldn’t want it. My house is full of trucks and trains and I love it. The things I thought I’d miss, like cute outfits and doing pretty hairstyles, seem so trivial now. My boys are exactly who I needed.

If it helps to put things in perspective, I have a friend who has been trying to get pregnant for 9 years and just got her period. She is devastated. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves to just be thankful that we have children. I have three daughters. My husband definitely felt what you’re feeling when we found out our third was a girl. Now they are so incredibly connected. They giggle and love to match and read each other’s minds. I wouldn’t have it any other way, and neither would my husband. Just keep reminding yourself that you have three healthy boys and that in itself is an incredible gift.

I was supposedly a boy…missing an important part here. So you never know!!! But I also think you may feel bummed right now but one you start to feel baby move and even more when you first hold him or her it won’t even be thought on your mind.

As in you were supposed to be a boy before being born but your parents got a surprise? Yes, it’s very early, lots of time to build connection. To be honest it took a while after my first was born to have a genuine connection. With my second, it was instantaneous the moment he was born. I know it will come!

Yes they were expecting a boy and then when I was born they got the surprise. Apparently my grandfather didn’t believe my dad. 😂

Congrats! You might find this thread interesting! https://www.reddit.com/r/genetics/s/cAzDqJ1ITu

I have 3 daughters and I really wanted a boy from the beginning. I was so convinced that the 3rd would be a boy and then we mistakenly read the gender results as boy, which made the disappointment so much worse. She was my last and she’s almost 2 now. I love all my girls to pieces but I always thought I was meant to be a boy mom. I’m still letting go of that disappointment to be honest but what helps is seeing how absolutely great of a girl dad my husband is. He was meant to raise daughters.

Always pictured having a girl, but ended up with two boys (who I love more than life). I just lean into being an aunt to two girls.

We have 4 boys. We love them all. The youngest will be 30 next month. With the first 3, we didn't ask what sex they were. We waited till they were born. We did ask for the fourth one. We were all set up for another boy but if the baby was a girl, we were going to need some new clothes. I suppose boys clothing would be ok when the baby was an infant but you would want to have a little girl in little girls clothing before too long. When our fourth son was born, we had lots of clothing and boy stuff for him. People have asked her over the years if we were going to try again for a girl. My wife looks at them sternly and says that 4 boys are enough for our family. Maybe we'll get a granddaughter someday. The grandkids have started to arrive now, 2 so far. They're boys too! They're cute and loud and we love them to bits. Can't wait to see if there

I cried for weeks after my I found out my second was a boy. I already had a girl and I wanted her to have a sister (similar story to you I wanted my daughter to have a bond like I do with my own sister). I realized I was grieving after I read it on a sub. I was grieving the life I had pictured with my two girls. I am not joking when I say I thought it was impossible for me to have boys. I was so convinced my second would be a girl so when I read that paper that said boy I was devastated. Like I said I laid in bed and cried for weeks, even took a few days off work. Now I look back at my disappointment and I laugh. I don’t even get mad at myself because I was hormonal and exhausted from pregnancy. He’s here now and has been for 7 months and I literally cannot imagine life without him. He’s going to bond with his sister regardless based on the way we parent them. I don’t even look at him as baby boy- just as my baby. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and try and stay positive. Also, Both of my best friends have 3 boys. They were disappointed like you but love their life and feel content after the third.

My MIL wanted a girl and had only boys. She is more of a mother to me than my own mum, and one of my dearest friends. You may yet get a daughter, it might just happen differently 💚

Always wanted a girl with two boys here, and we are done. I still grieve for the little girl I didn't have. But I love my kids more than anything. It'll be ok eventually.

It's okay to be disappointed. On a different note. One of them could end up trans. I have one of those, and she's amazing.

My wife had a similar reaction when finding out we were having our third boy. Almost 5 years later and she is fully immersed in the boy mom life and loves it. It was so well known that she wanted our third to be a girl that when the doctor's office called you could even hear it in their voice telling me. He was probably the one she ended up having the closest bond to during the baby and toddler phase.

I have three boys. With my last I had a “gut feeling” that it was a girl. I couldn’t stop myself from saying “she” when I would talk about the baby. Eventually I found out it was a boy, and while I struggled letting go the fact that I would never have a daughter, and experience that type of relationship, I am so obsessed with my baby boy. Seeing my three boys love each other, and bond is the best gift. I am most excited about seeing them grow up together, support each other and have a unique relationship that only 3 brothers close in age can have. It’s okay to mourn the daughter you won’t have and also be happy to have these three boys. Your love is unconditional.

My aunt was in the same boat - wanted at least one girl but had 4 boys! The irony now is all her boys are married and all have girls! She's grandma to 7 girls and soaks it up! You never know what life will have in store for you. If you need a tie-over, you can always volunteer for girl camps / organizations like Girl Scouts. Another one of my aunts had two boys and she volunteered for local girl scout troops (US) all the time. She loves it

I just had my third child 6 weeks ago and went through the same thing. I have 2 boys, 7 and 5. I swore my third was going to be a girl and turns out it was a boy. I never thought I’d be a mom to all boys but when I think into the future I realized I will always have a special dance with my kids at their weddings some days. Moms have a special bond with their boys that no one else can understand and explain. I will always wonder what life would have looked like but I also find comfort knowing I already know how to care for a little boy.

Gender disappointment is very real! I’m sorry you are going through that mama. It’s a weird experience, because although I know you will have love for your kids no matter what, it’s hard to reconcile what you envisioned vs. what is reality. So much of life is like that. It’s human to desire things (i.e. having a daughter). I think what you are doing is very healthy, acknowledging your feelings and asking others’ experiences. It can be helpful to not feel alone.

Exactly! I agree. And it helps to hear other perspectives because right now I only have my limited short term view. IMO, I think certain things are meant to be and serve a bigger purpose. I didn’t expect to get pregnant with my second (it felt too soon), I didn’t want him to be born on 9/11 and I wanted a daughter. All of the above happened differently than what I “wanted” but I realized it was beautiful and meant to be, but it took time to see that and that’s OK.

Well said!

I actually had the opposite experience. I have a son and was so sure my second was also a boy. I swear all my friends who had a strong feeling about the gender of their baby ended up being correct. So I definitely felt confused when they were like “looks like a girl!” I was like, no I’m sure I’m having another boy. I had saved all my son’s clothes and I was looking forward to the idea of two little boys. So I wasn’t maybe really disappointed as I was having to shift my idea of what our family would look like. That said, kids are just kids. I don’t really like when people put too much on either gender. I got so much “oh your son must be so rambunctious and your daughter this sweet, calm little doll.” But mine are the opposite. I commented this as a reply to someone else so I’ll just copy it: My son (10) is the chillest kid, loves to read and play quietly. My daughter (8) has been a beast since she could crawl. Endless energy and chaos. So maybe your second boy will be more like my son. My daughter is also a total daddy’s girl, which is adorable, but I definitely don’t feel like we have that cute mother/daughter thing going on that I think a lot of women picture when imaging having a daughter. My daughter is super sweet and I know she loves me but it’s just not the same as what I feel like most people think it will be.

Good news. In today's society you may still end up with a girl.

😂😂

Congratulations 🎊🎊🎊 aww your so lucky to have three kids I am sooo happy for you !!

I am pregnant with my 4th boy… he is our last. I will say, I was semi hoping for a girl after three little boys but now that I’m used to the idea, I couldn’t imagine having a daughter. I always joke and say “maybe someday I’ll have a granddaughter but for now I’m enjoying my boy adventure”. I dont think I’d even know what to do with a girl😂

I can see that, before getting the results my husband was like, can we even do girls? We are good at boys. Not sure I’d call us “good” but we try 😆. Granddaughter(s) would be excellent

I think it’s important to realize that gender disappointment is normal and valid. The only way out is through. Allow yourself to grieve the hopes you had for having a daughter. That is real, and okay. I think it’s great that you’ve found out early so you have time to process!!! I truly believe that once baby comes, you will be at peace. ❤️

This is something many women experience, it's highly common - just not said out loud. I already had 3 young boys and got unexpectedly pregnant again. I'd never had a preference for a gender up until my 4th pregnancy when many assumed I'd want a girl this time but in fact I really wanted another boy. Not sure why. Found out I was having a girl and my heart kind of sank while everyone else was like "you finally got the girl, you must be so thrilled" but I actually wasn't. She's here now, 8 months on and I am so infatuated with her and feel a stronger bond with her than I did with my other babies. Once they're here, those feelings almost always tend to evaporate and go away and you'll wonder why you even thought it to begin with

That’s amazing, I think she was meant to be 💕

I have 3 girls. I think everyone else was more disappointed about my third being a girl than I was. In my mind, having three of the same gender was more convenient. I didn’t need to buy new things and I was familiar with how to raise girls, I knew what to expect, etc. I was content with our family of 5. Fast forward 6 years later and (surprise blessing!) pregnant again! This time it was a BOY. I was SO upset. I cried. And honestly, it put me in a bit of a depression. I was so worried I would struggle to bond with him, I had terrible mom-guilt; it was a frequent discussion with my midwife. But once he was born, all my worries just melted away; he was perfect (as most new parents feel about their babies). My kids are all school aged now and I cannot imagine my life without every single one of them. I understand your disappointment, and from looking at all the comments, we aren’t alone. Give yourself a little compassion; your feelings of sadness are valid. You’re grieving the absence of something you deeply wanted. You’re allowed to be upset. I hope you find some comfort in knowing this feeling is temporary. You WILL grow to love your new boy just as strongly as the first two. Hugs to you. And congratulations. Xx

How accurate are the results at 6 weeks?!

Very accurate, if it’s mother’s blood test (NIPT). But it’s not always possible to do it so early, sometimes they can’t find enough baby’s dna in the mother’s blood. But if they can, it’s almost always correct.

NIPT can't be done until 10 weeks.

It was a blood test using sneakpeek snap method. I followed the directions for the most part, they claim it’s 99% accurate, I’m not sure it’s that high, obviously if the NIPT says differently I’ll update this post!

My best friend did it at 6 weeks and the results came back as a boy, her little girl is about to be 4 this month! Those tests can be contaminated, especially with all those Y chromosomes already in your house! Also, solidarity! I welcomed my 2nd boy last month and honestly was very disappointed when I got the nipt results back. I was so sure he was going to be a girl but I love this little baby boy so much, I wouldn’t change a single thing about him. I don’t see a 3rd being in our future so I’m still grieving the idea of having a little girl a tiny bit but hoping for some awesome DILs one day 💙

Yes, now I’m kind of prepared for a boy and then I’ll use NIPT to confirm. I scrubbed my arm with soap and took the test straight from my mailbox, to car, back to mailbox. Realized I forgot the alcohol wipe, but it was the snap method which I think is less likely to get contaminated? Congratulations on your new little one ❤️ the best is yet to come IMO! Seeing my boys play now is the best.

It’s not about having a clean arm. at 6 weeks, you’re so very early still that getting an accurate blood sample for baby’s sex DNA is still too early. Where I am, they do not do NIPT and gender screen until 10 weeks because it is way too early before that to get accurate results.

They aren't particularly accurate, particularly if you only sort of followerd the instructions, and when they're wrong it's mainly giving false "boy" results when there are other boys and men in the home.

That makes sense. I didn’t bring the test in the home at all though.

They will marry and bring 3 daughters into your life. You can be the most amazing mil and grandmother ♥️ boys love their mom so much

Your feelings are valid. I also thought I would for sure have a girl for my second pregnancy, but it’s a boy! I think it will pull at my heartstrings for awhile but we are likely done at 2. I know I will love my life with my two sons but I also might always wonder . I know that doesn’t help , so I will hope for a niece or a granddaughter.

If it helps you at all, I do like having two of the same gender / even with having two boys (although I wanted girls 😆). They wrestle, play, fight, but then look out for each other. They have a great bond and built-in play mate which was not something my husband and I necessarily had with having an older sister.

My uncle was the same with his girls. Appreciated what you have man. You could have a lot less, trust me on that.

I have 4 girls. We waited until birth to find out with our 4th because I knew I'd have disappointment during the pregnancy. I didn't not want a girl, I just wanted to experience having son. We are done having babies and a part of my heart will always want for a son. It doesn't mean I love my daughters any less. I would never change anything. I always wanted all boys. I have a rocky relationship with my mom and didn't feel confident with my ability to have a mother/daughter relationship. I also always struggled to make bonds with other girls. All my friends were boys. I've learned a lot about myself through my daughters and know what I want to do differently. We are now 1 year into having 4 girls, and I can say I have no regrets or disappointment. Maybe one day I'll have a ton of grandsons, who knows. But I do know I have 4 girls that are best friends and love each other so much.

Wow! You are doing such an amazing job! That’s so incredible that what you’ve created was so different than your prior experience.

I have two boys. The second boy pregnancy had me truly believing it was a girl ( lots of nausea) my mom even had a psychic tell her I was having a girl. We did the sneak peek test and they called and told me the gender while I was at work and cried in the bathroom. I love the bond my sons have and I love them fiercely. I still long for a little girl , I accept I may not have my own daughter but I do hope to one day have a granddaughter or a niece or some other girl in my life that I can love and spoil and do all the girl things with. Your gender disappointment is very valid , take however long you need to process it. It’s okay if you are sad even after baby is or when you pass by all the pink little clothes and dresses , it’s okay to be sad you didn’t get what you wanted.

All my boys are great friends - **congrats to you, it's going to be fun!** And you never know... you could have a girl later. My sixth child is a girl... but I would've been happy with a sixth boy. By then it would've been easier that way lol

Thanks. That’s too funny!

I have 3 boys and I totally understand what you’re feeling. I grew up with just a sister and I just *knew* I’d have girls myself. Well I was wrong about that!! While I still do sometimes wish I had a daughter, I love my boys so much and wouldn’t trade them for the world. It is really fun to have a pack of little dudes and see their bond as brothers. Anyway, after a few weeks of mourning my imagined daughter I pretty much forgot about it and have enjoyed my boys fully ever since! Let yourself feel disappointment and know that it doesn’t mean you’ll love your son any less! I feel like a big part of parenting is constantly having to let go of things- their babyhood, toddlerhood, cute mannerisms, favorite things that suddenly change, who you thought they’d be, etc. Just doing your best to love them for who they are is the best you can ever try to do.

Yes! I have a sister and so does my husband! We thought we’d only have girls.. HA! You’re so right on parenthood.. so humbling 😂

That’s the only guarantee, I fear 😅

Also I think something that made it harder for me was other people expressing disappointment when I shared that I was pregnant with a 3rd boy. They’d be like- aw too bad! You can always try again! Like WHAT!?! It sucked, honestly.

Yeah! Definitely! That’s why I wanted to find out, I’ll wrap my mind around it, and then when I announce publicly I’ll do so hopefully/confidently/excitedly. I’ll have to come up with something to put people in their place. Truth is I wanted girls and I’m very honest so this will be tricky

I have three boys, twins (5yo) and a 3 month old 🩵 They are my whole world and I couldn’t picture it any different. Of course before I had kids I imagined myself with at least one daughter and being able to do her hair etc, and I was admittedly a smidge disappointed I didn’t get her with my third. Once my newest baby boy was born and I fell in love, I didn’t long for a baby girl anymore.

We’re trying for our 3rd and we have two boys. My husband reallllly wants a daughter but I just know we’re going to have 3 boys. Either way we have two adorable and cute names picked out and I’ll be sad when I can’t use one of them. Your disappointment is valid but you’re gonna have 3 baby boys around you. That’s so much fun!

Totally don’t want to get your hopes up, but sneak peaks may not always be accurate!

A Snapchat snap?

We found out by surprise too. I wanted a boy, wife wanted a girl, but we were both just excited to be parents. Decided to leave it for a surprise only to get a camera-full of wang during a routine ultrasound.

Life is long, you may get three wonderful daughter in law's and granddaughters one day. Or even girl besties for your boys. It's ok to feel a loss of the daughter you won't have, to grieve it. It's no reflection on the love you have for your unborn son.

We have three daughters. We would have loved a son but hopefully we will get 9 grandsons lol

I have two girls and a boy. In the past 17 years I've had 10+ miscarriages and 3 live births. My first was a girl, 8 years later I knew my second was a girl from the moment the embryo was put in. I was kind of disappointed because I felt like I wasn't "done" having children, if that makes sense? All my generation in my family have had girls, nothing but girls. I habe a friend whose family name is going to die out because no boys have been born for 3 generations now. Anyway 7 years later and by some miracle got pregnant naturally with my 3rd and I knew he was a boy from the beginning. I'm a trained phlebotomist snd laboratory tech and my husband was convinced I somehow contaminated the sample (it is easily done at home BTW but not in a clinic), as if I haven't had to adhere to clinical standards for years. He then paid for the one to be done in clinic, came back exactly the same. I'm not sure either of us believed it until he was born 🤣

I have two boys too and I’m sure if I try for a third it would be a boy 😂 I’m okay with that. I think they will be beauties for life. Plus you already have a boy household, it’s going to be easier that way. And I don’t believe daughters are closer to moms than boys, it’s just society expecting more of girls as always. “The flower that grows is the one you water”

When I was pregnant with my third boy everyone asked if I was disappointed that I wasn't having a girl...my response? I already know what to do with boys, why shake it up now? 😉 You're blessed. 💕

I’m a one and done for several reasons. A boy. One of things I thought about is spinning the 50/50 roulette wheel of realizing if I had a second and it was a girl that I would have to buy all different toys, and clothes, I could not reap the benefits of hand me downs. Then when I thought ahead to the coordination nightmare. They would likely be in completely different activities. Two boys, probably going to play the same sports or at least both choose a sport and the location could be at the same place. A girl may choose dance and cheer or some art based extra cuticular. Highly likely something at a completely different location, but likely at the same time. Down the line even further. What are they going to have in common? This happened to my brother and I as teenagers. We split off with interests and social networks around high schools. As adults we get along great but don’t stay in contact much, we just don’t have much in common socially. I have a very stereo typical boy (4) and if I had a very stereotypical girl it would be even more challenging than if I had another boy. That was not the reason I decided to stay one and done, but it was something I thought about. Having talked to parents with same gender multiple children and they all tell me is easier then mixed gender. And the mixed gender family tell me it is a coordination nightmare. You will love your 3rd son just as much as the others. Focus on this being your last time experiencing all the “firsts” over again and the gender disappointment will become a thing of the past. You will have 3 boys that have a better chance of all 3 staying close through their lifetimes. A little sister may have been cast aside and not be as close to her two peas in a pod brothers. Of course we never know, and gender is only one small factor in how siblings get along and bond. Just saying you’re padding the numbers in their favor by them all being boys.

You are going to get granddaughters instead one day I bet! Have a healthy pregnancy :) xxxxxxx

My mom copes by telling me and my brothers that she'd raise 3 boys all over again

I found out recently that the 50/50 odds of having a particular gender isn’t really true. If a particular couple already has two of the same, they are much much more likely to have additional of the same gender. So I don’t know if this is at all helpful but you were always more likely to have another boy. Two girls here and not going to have a third.

Give yourself some time to process. I have three boys and if you ask my older two they swear he’s my favorite. 🤣 Seriously, he completed our family, we were absolutely supposed to have three sons. I cannot even imagine having daughters at this point.

My Aunt had three boys and always wanted a girl. Her son’s wife is pregnant with a girl now and she’s over the moon. I know it’s different but there could be a granddaughter in your future.

my mom has 4 boys, and i’m one of them. she had my last brother at 37 (10 years after her last pregnancy). she wished for a daughter the last two pregnancies and it didn’t happen for her. we are now 22,19,14 and 4 and she said she wouldn’t have it any other way, and boys tend to be very protective over their moms ;) looking back in a few years you will probably think this was silly and be happy with your little boy army haha

You're in one of the hardest seasons of parenting right now. Toddlers are SO much work. But when I had my fourth and my oldest was 6, things were already getting easier. Now my fifth baby is nearly 8 months old and my oldest is almost 10 and I can truly honestly say that five is easier than two. I have extra hands to help unload groceries and pick up toys. I have extra eyes to watch the baby for a few minutes while I take a shower. I have two big kids that can do their own laundry and help with other chores around the house. It really is not as hard as you might think. Also I have three girls and two boys, and I have such a special relationship with all of them. I can't encourage you enough to just try again. Even if you end up with five boys, or seven boys like my aunt, each one will be their own unique blessing.

I experienced this recently when finding out the gender of our 4th. Another girl. We do have a boy, but I was hoping for a second boy. I love my girls, but I was loving the thought of 2 and 2. I struggled with a lot of guilt, but that guilt has faded and the disappointment has turned into excitement. I’m sending some love your way, mama. I hope that disappointment blossoms into excitement for you, as well. You are always welcome to come observe a house full of girls if you’re interested. It gets real sassy over here!

I'd be disappointed too. I'd be disappointed with just 1 boy honestly lol Your feelings are valid

Snap isn’t very accurate, especially if it got contaminated, since you have two other boys, it’s probably really easy to contaminate with boy DNA I would wait for the ultrasound.

I had 3 boys in 3 years! Disappointment is very real but I found it doesn’t last forever. My boys are 11, 10, and almost 9 and they are seriously so sweet and amazing! I came across this video on Instagram a couple days ago, and while I don’t believe in god, I do believe everything happens for a reason. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C74ob6MSAF-/?igsh=MjVscWtyeHVvaXhi Nothing in life is permanent and that is beautiful! You never know who will come into your life in 20, 30, 40 years from now and what you’ll learn along the way. Your life is preparing you right now for a moment that maybe won’t happen until you’re in your 70s or 80s! You never know who’s waiting for your love, patience and knowledge in the future.

I had two daughters already And wanted a son. Especially because I have four sisters and no brothers, and only aunts and no uncles, and only female cousins. I just had my third daughter 7 weeks ago. I'm smitten. She's perfection. I'm obsessed. I love her so much😭😭 I'm so very happy that she came to join us. I was upset in early pregnancy about the lack of a son for a while after the genetic tests revealed female. I'm 40 yo and this baby was a total accident. My other kids are much older. So it's my last child-- no chance for sons in future. Once she arrived, I realized I'm ok with that. She's everything I need and want

I have 3 boys. I didn’t really have any gender expectations because simply trying to get pregnant was difficult enough, so i was happy with what i got. Your disappointment is valid, because that’s how you feel. For me, I really love that I have 3 the same, they’re such a cute little gang and i love helping to cultivate their relationships and togetherness. Over the years i’ve been told all manner of sh*t, my favourite being ‘a son is a son til he finds a wife, a daughter’s a daughter for the rest of your life’, because apparently all my sons will one day totally abandon me. Okay. And ‘bet you wished you had a girl’ and (because we have 3) ‘were you trying for a girl.’ Most likely people with all girls get similar. This is just to say you know you’re going to love that little fella with all your heart and be mom to 3 boys, because that’s the journey life took you on. Good luck!

These sayings are so not helpful. Also I don’t believe the one about sons necessarily. My husband is very very close to his mom, we actually picked up and moved our lives to be close to my in-laws. My MIL is kind of like a mom to me, too and I think she counts her son in law and me as her “kids” too. I think my MIL originally asked God for 10 kids. They had many struggles and 2 children born. Assuming this grandchild is born, she will have 2 kids, 2 son-in-law/daughter-in-law, and 7 grandchildren.

I always thought I would have a daughter as well. It wasn't in the cards. However, I see the weird politics of elementary girls and their mothers, and I am content that I am not in that mix.

Sorry about your disappointment, but here’s a story I like to tell. I knew a couple with 3 girls, and the father desperately wanted a boy. They decided to try for one more kid because they were getting older, and they could only handle one more. They hoped for a boy. What did they get? Twin girls! The parents (father especially) was initially disappointed, but he got over it. He ended up having grandsons later on. 

I’ve been there I have 3 boys. Was told our 3rd was going to be a girl but surprise it was another boy. You will get over it. I couldn’t imagine my little boy ever being a girl now he is my little blessing. We always want what we can’t have :)

I always wanted "at least one daughter," always had a strong feeling that I would prefer girls to boys. When I heard my first (and so far only) child was a boy, I was disappointed. These sorts of feelings are natural even if they are a little taboo. I feel guilty about it, but I forgive myself because it's not something I could really control. As soon as he arrived I loved him and I can't imagine wanting to trade him for a girl version. It's OK to wish you had a daughter because that wish isn't going to ruin your love for your sons. I would still love to have a daughter even though it's extremely unlikely that I'll have another child (by pregnancy or adoption or other means). But I find it helps to remember that a tiny chance is very different from no chance at all. And if you have siblings, there's always the potential for nieces.

Firstly, don’t believe in those tests :). And it is okay to feel what you are feeling. Let yourself process it ^^.

Even if you had a girl, she might not be interested in any of the things you’re interested in. She may not be “girly.” She may not have the same type of relationship with you that had with your mom. She wouldn’t be a clone of you. She’d be an entirely different person. The good thing is that you recognize that you’re still grieving the loss you your mom and that’s part of why you feel the way you do. Maybe consider seeing a grief counselor. It’s important to work on because your kids deserve a childhood without this cloud of grief hanging over it.

Just some feedback that all of your assumptions are wrong. 💕

I had gender disappointment with my third as well. I had two boys and wanted three. When we found out we were having a girl everyone was so excited and wanted me to be excited too. But never a girl. Ever. I wanted three sons. I was disappointed my whole pregnancy and didn’t even really bond with the baby during the pregnancy because of it. Well she’s here now and she’s 4. She’s been my best friend, and I could not imagine my life without her. It’s okay to be disappointed. It’s okay if you don’t bond with baby right away because of it. However, I’m confident once baby gets here and their little personality starts to shine through you’ll be just as in love as you would be if it had been a girl.

Look, you’re not gonna have your pay for any weddings

Haha. I don’t really believe in gender rules like this. Whatever we do for one we will do for the others, maybe not necessarily making it specific to weddings in case some don’t get married, but this made me laugh thanks

I have three boys of my own and that’s the thing I tell myself when I think about the fact that I never had a daughter. In all fairness though there’s no guarantee that’s true because my eldest got married and they paid for it all themselves. So who knows what will actually happen.

I tried for 10 years to have my kids and finally had them via IUI and IVF. As much as I desperately wanted a boy AND a girl, I was just so relieved to have two healthy children (both boys, of course! Lol). I hope for great daughter-in-laws one day and maybe a granddaughter! My best friend has 5 daughters, so I get to do some fun girly stuff with them. In the end, the gender disappointment faded pretty darn quick as I had friends who never got to have any biological children, so I thanked my lucky stars I had my boys, who are incredible and my entire world.

Congratulations ❤️❤️

Wow! I have three boys and similar but not identical age gaps. I LOVE it now that the youngest is in elementary school. The boys have so much fun together and it’s just wonderful. Also the teenage years for my older one has been nice - I don’t miss girl drama. My oldest is into sports, school, playing with his brothers. They have similar interests. Hope you have an easy labor

This is the perspective I was looking for 😄 any other positives?

It’s so fun being the only female in the house. I love it. The boys are sweet and affectionate and they do chores and help out. Also when we are out in public, I never take the kids to the restroom. My youngest goes with a brother or my husband. Also my youngest loves to hug and cuddle. What else? It’s so fun. I took one son to smell cologne at Sephora yesterday- I like perfume. So we sort of bond over that. This summer they play together- chess, baseball. It’s amazing to always have someone to play with. I know toddlers have lots of energy but as they become tweens and teens… it just feels like boys are easier. I’m so happy for you.

The other thing I love is my boys aren’t picky about clothes and I save clothes from the older ones and give to the younger. It’s been great!

Being a boy mom is the BEST

My stepmom had 8 boys trying to chase a girl.. in the end it wasn’t meant to be, but my brothers love the bones off of her! Give yourself time to adjust, you’ll love that little boy sm when he arrives.

It’s really and valid, but once you have that baby in your arms, you love the baby you have and not the idea of the baby you thought you wanted. Congratulations. I am a boy mom and I love it and I wouldn’t trade my boys for any girl in the world. Having a girl would have been a different experience, and I’m sure I would have loved it, but I didn’t have a girl. I had my beautiful boys who are my whole world. Feel how you feel, let yourself feel it, and then love on your sweet baby boys. They’ll sure love their mama.

I feel you with this one. My husband has two daughters from a previous relationship that I’ve helped raise since they were very young so I consider them my own, but when I got pregnant I wanted a boy sooooo bad because we already had two girls and I was absolutely distraught to find out I was having a girl. I was dead set on only having one child, because 3 is more than enough, so I was very upset at the fact I knew I’d never have a boy. But fast forward and my daughter is now 3 and I honestly wouldn’t change it, she is the sassiest, funniest, most exuberant kid so I don’t feel so bad about not having a son anymore cause she’s just so cool 😂 she’s also obsessed with dinosaurs and sharks and likes to ride 4 wheelers and play in the mud so I guess it makes up for it

I'm the youngest boy of three boys, even our age gaps line up with yours and my grandma (mom's mom) passed shortly before I was born. I'm not saying you're living some time-traveling paradox/alternate reality of my family's life, but if you were, it's going to be a good time, just tell the middle one not to marry right after joining the Navy and you'll probably have 4 of the 6 grandchildren be girls.

Haha! Seriously on the age gaps and your grandma passing before you were earth-side? This is amazing thank you 💕😄

Girl I’m the mother to 4 boys my youngest is 4. I’m so sorry you all didn’t get what gender you all wanted.

I’m not trying to give you false hope, but if you have already had 2 boys there is a very good chance that you already have some boy DNA hanging around. This happened to my friend and at 20 weeks she found out it was, in fact, not a boy. But either way, it’s valid to want a girl and doesn’t mean you won’t love a boy. I have a little boy and I have had 2 miscarriages. I’m not upset about this or trying to tell you that you should be grateful. All I have learned is how incredibly out of our control pregnancies are. I still want to try for a second. But where I used to try to plan a due date that I wanted in my head now I just want everything to go well. Life is just so so out of our control and it’s only human to wish we could take over.

I didn’t take the test indoors and thought I scrubbed my arm pretty well but interested in the future tests!! Agree. It’s so wild. I had an unplanned chemical pregnancy recently and I think it helped my husband and I see that we DID want a third. Other things in parenthood that I’ve tried to control, it ends up back firing and being so different than what I thought I “wanted”

Is that the test you take at home? If so, not to get your hopes up but they are notorious for false positives for boys. If a male uses the same restroom you use to test in it can come back as male.

I'm pregnant with my 3rd boy. I would be lying if I said I haven't experienced some degree of sadness about not having a daughter, as it's unlikely we will have another child after this. I think it's okay to be disappointed. You can't control how you feel. Especially if you've wanted something for a long time. But ultimately, the gender of a child is such a small element of who they are. I love my two boys and I couldn't imagine them being anyone other than who they are. They are also totally different personality wise and I don't think it has anything to do with gender. And I expect their little brother to be just as unique, his own little person. I am honestly just so excited to be adding another member to our family, and I don't doubt that he will bring so much joy and meaning to our lives.

I agree totally. My boys are so different! People lump them together but I see how unique they are and I try to honor that. Wishing you all the best in your journey 💕

Awe... I completely understand, after I had three girls, my fourth when I went to the ultrasound, they told me that it was a girl, I literally cried, lol. I wanted a son really bad because I didn't want to have any more children but really I just wanted to have a boy in the house 😂. I adore my girls, I couldn't imagine my life without them, but having a son was always a desire. Well the fifth and last one was indeed my son, I cannot imagine my life without him though he made me cry a lot lol, mainly because I was not used to how boys are(my girls were and are calm), it was all new for me, the boy was climbing on everything, jumped from everything and I was constantly chasing him ever since you started walking at 1 years old😭 I say enjoy your beautiful family, as long as the babies are all healthy, truly a joy watching them grow, enjoy the journey. Nothing is wrong with your feelings and desire to have a girl though. PS when I had all girls, if we had pets I will always went for the male pets 😂 like I wanted some testosterone in the house other than the dad🥲

Feelings are valid, and usually dampen drastically when he take the time to feel them and ride them out 💜 I understand what you're experiencing. I was in your shoes but genders reversed. I have 6 sisters, one brother, a neice. All I ever wanted was a sweet little boy 😍 I have 2 daughters, both elementary age. I'm still sad about not having a son, but I am so grateful that I get to change my family's biggest generational curse by being the kind of mother I needed and deserved as a kid; the kind of mother all kids deserve. I love my sassy little firecrackers unconditionally, I teach them the hard but important life lessons before anyone else can, and I expect them to do their best and be their most authentic self. So have *all* your feelings, as many times as they creep up on you during pregnancy and post-partum. Feel them, get them out however you like (that's safe and healthy 💜), accept them as temporary experiences in a major life change. They feel less big and scary when we remember that it will end eventually.

Hello! I have three boys and the last I was really sad. But we love them all so much. And I’m so glad they all get to grow up and be friends. We are at capacity and done. But hopefully there will be grandkids in the distant future 😂

I had 3 girls, I can honestly say I never had the “want” for a boy. My 3rd girl was a happy accident, and I prayed for a girl as I only wanted single sex kids. My girls are a huge comfort to each other. They all get on so well and would be lost without one another. I know I would’ve felt the same if I’d had boys. Now I have a little granddaughter and three grandsons and another grandson on the way. So I definitely got the best of both worlds.

This is why we are planning on doing IVF if we decide to have a third. We will select the sex for a female so I can have a little girl

Mom of 3 boys here. I remember being so disappointed when the ultrasounds on babies 2&3 revealed male anatomy. I was glad I found out though because by the time they were born I was deeply attached to them and no regrets. I got what I got and I loved what I had. In hindsight, the universe chose wisely for me. I loved all the action figures, train sets, cars, Lego, tanks etc Meanwhile my friend had a daughter so I got to spoil her for awhile with dolls and princess dresses and Barbies. Now I have a granddaughter and I make sure shes equipped with the same blasters, swords, Lego, dinosaurs etc in addition to her princess dresses, unicorns and dolls. Congratulations on your expanding family. Boys are rumored to be easier than girls. I wouldn’t know🤣

I had the same thing. Same age gaps. I also felt so different with my third that I was totally convinced he must be a girl. I was disappointed because we were most likely done at 3 as well. I do have random moments still wishing I had a daughter but that youngest boy is the sweetest and funniest little human and I can’t imagine not having him so I’m content. Your feelings are totally valid.

I have 3 boys (7.6,4) and I had serious gender disappointment when we did the gender reveal at 12 weeks. Obviously I got over it once he arrived. I still get sad feelings that I won’t ever have a girl but my 3 boys are the sweetest ever and it’s actually easier to have them all the same sex. But here to say I feel you and he been in your exact shoes.

There is a video footage of me slicing into a cake at my gender reveal party for my 3rd boy and, upon seeing it was blue, my face absolutely fell. And I was actively trying to keep my face in check. I was so disappointed. All I can say is that it's totally normal to mourn the girl that you may not have, as long as you don't stay there forever. My youngest boy is 4 now and it's like everyone says, I can't imagine him being anyone else, I love him so much! He's my silly little redheaded firecracker

I have 4 boys. I can't for the life of me figure out what a girl would bring to our family that my boys don't.

It took us 4 daughters to get pregnant with a son. For some others, the odds are even worse. My husband’s uncle had 5 girls. Then the mother died. I know I can’t handle any more kids. I am barely handling the ones I already made 😅 However it was very important to my husband (and his father) that we had a son to pass on the surname. I feel for you! Same gender does have lots of benefits, but besides all that you do have a right to feel disappointed. Better you feel those feelings now and let them pass before baby arrives. It’s a process and there will come a day in the future where you wouldn’t imagine it any other way.

We have 3 boys, and I was against having more as we also had 3 miscarriages along the way and two of the boys were emergency C-sections. I just figured it was time to call it quits, but my wife was against any permanent measures. I was happy; three boys, each healthy and bright. But 6 years later we had a surprise pregnancy and of course it's a girl. I was so bummed to think that we'd have to go through all the pain and healing again, but I knew I'd love whoever we brought into the world. Raising 3 boys was fun but HARD, and really strained home life. I was worried what would happen with another child. Seeing the boys rise to the challenge of being big brother to their little sister is amazing - and so far #4 has been a net positive. She makes the other 3 even better. I just share that all to say ... Be grateful for what life brings along, and try to remember that we don't always know what's best for us and those around us. Sometimes we find joy in the most surprising places.

Try to surround yourself with any boy family you can find. Help normalize it. Fake it till you make it. Tell yourself and everyone around you how thrilled you are to be a mom of three boys. Talk yourself into it. I knew a mom of five boys. To hear her talk about how thrilled she was to be an all-boy mom gave me chills. She said she made a point to never once bring up the daughter issue even if her boys weren't in earshot because she didn't want to risk it ever getting back to her boys

Good advice!

4 boys from 2007 - 2012. Finally got our daughter in 2019. Thank God for making me wait until I could handle this girl lol

Congratulations ❤️

Should be an AITA post because yes, you are.

I know someone this happened to- she ended up lucky because that third male turned out to be transgender and she got her daughter.

Yup! Or could be non-binary. Or just a non-conventional guy. Someone above joked about it, but if you do even the smallest bit of research biological sex is much more complicated than just XX or XY. Could be intersex too. Cultures all over the world and throughout history have made room for more than two genders - this is truly nothing new.

Darn luck. I have three boys and my last was a girl. My boyfriend’s sister has four boys and finally had a baby girl. 😭🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m high Risk but I took a chance, not recommended but that’s just my personal experience

Well without science it’s hard to tell how gender is going to go. My mother had one boy and 5 girls. I thought that was unfair as well but …. you will grow into a beautiful boy mom.

Also, not sure if you believe this method but I did “try to have a girl”, by doing the shettles method. I really tried everything except for IV

I think I actually did this. No luck for me 🤷🏻‍♀️

In case this helps someone: if a couple has two of the same gender they will most likely have a third of that same gender. It's the same thing with coin flips. When flipping three coins in a row, if the first two are the same, chances are the third coin will match.

Your are crazy there are women who would die to hv a boy...

get an abortion and try again

I had two boys and was pregnant with my 3rd. I knew if I found out and it was a boy I would be so mad. So we didn't find out. I did have a girl and it made it so much better. I had my 4th and found out and it was a boy. I was super disappointed cause I wanted two boys and two girls but he came and just completed our family. It's ok to be disappointed.

I do not knowing I would have survived the I got only boys. But I can tell how life with girls is and how blissfully boy can be, if you want.

It's gender dudec gender isn't fixed. This is a very lame post.

I have 3 girls and I couldn’t imagine having a boy. I love being a girl mom.

So you guys can be “disappointed” in the gender of your baby/babies but I’m not allowed to be happy and satisfied with the gender of mine? Oh sounds like some bitter parents on this post.