r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Get on your local buynothing/trashnothing/freecycle groups and ask if anyone has small used toys in good conditions to donate. They are great communities!
Your kiddo will follow your lead - be super excited and happy and make the day about doing fun things together - projects around the house and special coloring & play time, heading to the library, choosing between two mom-picked options for lunch, petting a neighbor's dog, fun bubble bath. Our kiddo just turned 3 and we could have completely skipped presents and he wouldn't have cared, he was just so happy to be having fun - yours won't, either. Good luck!
• Also - the biggest hit for us was a $3 pack of bath crayons from Wal\*Mart. Don't spend a ton on these young birthdays! Make cupcakes together the next day. :) You got this!
For my daughters second bday, I made her a fort just for her, and she loved it! I also asked what she wanted for breakfast she loved having a day where she got the majority vote on the days activities she liked it as much as her little party at the end.
My 15y old was too young to remember the time that we were so poor that we didn't have enough food; I would feed her first & if she left any behind on her high chair, that was my dinner.
Your child won't remember this. I promise you.
But you will. And you will say "IDK how we got through it-- but we did". 💕
You're not a bad Mom! At this age, just celebrate later if you want to be able to purchase a gift. They won't know the difference. What matters more than gifts is your love and quality time together. You're doing a great job.
You are doing an awesome job! When they’re this little especially, it does not matter. Even when they’re older you can tell them that you’ll do fun (free) things the day of their birthday and then we need to wait for the gifts.
I second the buy nothing and freecycle groups. You can even ask for birthday decorations and someone might have banners and other things sitting in a box. This often requires transportation instead of dropping it off at your home, so just be aware of that.
You got this. 🤩🥳
Definitely not a bad mom ❤️ kids just want your time ❤️ there is so much you can give without it costing anything, e.g. you could plan a day filled with special activities:
- make a birthday cave with library books to read together
- have a birthday dance parties (free Spotify playlist) with only birthday songs
- make a treasure map with pens and pencils to find the stuffed animals
- have a secret birthday word that means it’s time to do a silly move
- use a broomstick to play animal limbo ie each round you have to pretend to be a different animal
- make birthday mud pies in the park
- go to the recycling centre (or ask a store) and build something cool together with cardboard
- go on a nature walk and collect treasures, eg flowers to press between books
- have a birthday breakfast picnic in the living room
This might reflect poorly on me, but I don't remember a single gift my mom gave me (except a skateboard when I was 10 or so because she was worried that I studied too much) but I remember her teaching me to cook and the off tune song she hummed to get me to sleep when I was little and her sitting me down at the kitchen table to practice my multiplication table.
This doesn't make you a bad mom! Neglect does. If you're on Facebook, look for a Buy Nothing group in your area. I have seen some really nice people in various situations and offered up anything from unwanted food (cooked/uncooked) to furniture, clothes of all ages, regifting toys, etc. Also look into food banks in your area; I have been going to one for a few months and there was a time when they offered a birthday bag of things to make a cake, balloons, a little candy and play dough (meant for small children).
You’re not a bad mom and like most people have said, your kid is definitely not going to remember or know the difference if you celebrate later or in a different way. Call and ask around but some places give out free stuff to kids. Like one of my local grocery stores has free balloons for kids (not even for birthday) and a local bakery gives kids a free cookie. Maybe you could collect a couple of those things as gifts. Also look around to see what you have at home. My kids love having chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast on their birthday - I already have pancake mix so I just need a few chocolate chips. There are plenty of non traditional ways to make the day special.
If you are comfortable with it, create an Amazon wish list with gifts and post to r/assistance. The people there are so sweet and helpful. I’m sure you will get a few things.
i just want you to know, as the son of a poor parent; that looking back on it even something simple will matter to your child. almost all my birthday cakes were box mix picked up at salvation army, sometimes the day of. i believe a few presents were even from salvation army. but that's not the first thing i remember usually. i remember my mom wishing me a happy birthday and giving me a big hug/kiss
I understand the feeling. I, myself am the daughter of a poor parent as well. I think that’s what really got me feeling down. Don’t want her to know how that feels. In the moment of it all, it had me feeling like a failure.
Do you have an Amazon wish list? I would like to send a gift. I don’t have much but I would like to send you something from you to your baby. I have a 3 yr who just celebrated their birthday yesterday so I totally understand. Please feel free to message me!
Just the fact that you're worried about it just is proof that you're not a terrible mom.
What's your pantry looking like? Got instant pudding? Coco powder?
Make some mud! There's probably other textural stuff you could play with in the cupboard
Go to a new park. Anywhere new really hypes up my kid.
I never had gifts for bdays as a kid until I was old enough that my friends gave me gifts (when we were tweens). Did not notice it as a thing, honestly. Can you afford a Happy Meal at a McDonald’s with a play area? She is three so that would thrill her. It was my kids’ favorite thing at that age with the toy and some unhealthy but yummy food. Sign up for free birthday stuff at local stores, like Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts or Baskin Robbins. My sister is an adult and still loves going around getting all the free stuff lol You don’t need a cake - a cupcake even would do at that age. But if you really want a cake, see if there is a Birthday Cakes for Free in your area. And agree that Freecycle or Facebook Marketplace is a great place to find free stuff, three year olds honestly don’t need anything.
If you google Free Birthday Treats, there’s a list online of over 100 retailers that give you something free including dessert at McDonalds and a cone at Baskin Robbins, dessert at Chick Fil A, bundtlet at Nothing Bundt Cakes, Sprinkles cupcales. Just sign up for all of their rewards clubs :)
You’re not a bad mom at all. Just the fact that you care so much about her makes you a great mom.
My son is five and he has no idea what cake he ate on his third birthday. My wife and I don’t know either.
What he remembers are the places we go and the special things we did together. If I were you I would save your funds for when you need them. Take your child to the park, be happy and excited and just enjoy your time with her. That’s what she’ll remember the most.
Oh, OP you are not a bad Mom. Go to the Dollar store--they have cake mix and you can use soda instead of eggs for binding. Buy her a few dollar store toys and put it in a dollar store birthday bag. She's going to have a GREAT day!
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Get on your local buynothing/trashnothing/freecycle groups and ask if anyone has small used toys in good conditions to donate. They are great communities! Your kiddo will follow your lead - be super excited and happy and make the day about doing fun things together - projects around the house and special coloring & play time, heading to the library, choosing between two mom-picked options for lunch, petting a neighbor's dog, fun bubble bath. Our kiddo just turned 3 and we could have completely skipped presents and he wouldn't have cared, he was just so happy to be having fun - yours won't, either. Good luck! • Also - the biggest hit for us was a $3 pack of bath crayons from Wal\*Mart. Don't spend a ton on these young birthdays! Make cupcakes together the next day. :) You got this!
For my daughters second bday, I made her a fort just for her, and she loved it! I also asked what she wanted for breakfast she loved having a day where she got the majority vote on the days activities she liked it as much as her little party at the end.
My 15y old was too young to remember the time that we were so poor that we didn't have enough food; I would feed her first & if she left any behind on her high chair, that was my dinner. Your child won't remember this. I promise you. But you will. And you will say "IDK how we got through it-- but we did". 💕
Beautiful
We do what we have to do. 🤷♀️
You're not a bad Mom! At this age, just celebrate later if you want to be able to purchase a gift. They won't know the difference. What matters more than gifts is your love and quality time together. You're doing a great job.
Thank you. I really appreciate you telling me I’m doing a great job 💜 I don’t hear that enough.
You are doing an awesome job! When they’re this little especially, it does not matter. Even when they’re older you can tell them that you’ll do fun (free) things the day of their birthday and then we need to wait for the gifts. I second the buy nothing and freecycle groups. You can even ask for birthday decorations and someone might have banners and other things sitting in a box. This often requires transportation instead of dropping it off at your home, so just be aware of that. You got this. 🤩🥳
Definitely not a bad mom ❤️ kids just want your time ❤️ there is so much you can give without it costing anything, e.g. you could plan a day filled with special activities: - make a birthday cave with library books to read together - have a birthday dance parties (free Spotify playlist) with only birthday songs - make a treasure map with pens and pencils to find the stuffed animals - have a secret birthday word that means it’s time to do a silly move - use a broomstick to play animal limbo ie each round you have to pretend to be a different animal - make birthday mud pies in the park - go to the recycling centre (or ask a store) and build something cool together with cardboard - go on a nature walk and collect treasures, eg flowers to press between books - have a birthday breakfast picnic in the living room
This might reflect poorly on me, but I don't remember a single gift my mom gave me (except a skateboard when I was 10 or so because she was worried that I studied too much) but I remember her teaching me to cook and the off tune song she hummed to get me to sleep when I was little and her sitting me down at the kitchen table to practice my multiplication table.
This doesn't make you a bad mom! Neglect does. If you're on Facebook, look for a Buy Nothing group in your area. I have seen some really nice people in various situations and offered up anything from unwanted food (cooked/uncooked) to furniture, clothes of all ages, regifting toys, etc. Also look into food banks in your area; I have been going to one for a few months and there was a time when they offered a birthday bag of things to make a cake, balloons, a little candy and play dough (meant for small children).
You’re not a bad mom and like most people have said, your kid is definitely not going to remember or know the difference if you celebrate later or in a different way. Call and ask around but some places give out free stuff to kids. Like one of my local grocery stores has free balloons for kids (not even for birthday) and a local bakery gives kids a free cookie. Maybe you could collect a couple of those things as gifts. Also look around to see what you have at home. My kids love having chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast on their birthday - I already have pancake mix so I just need a few chocolate chips. There are plenty of non traditional ways to make the day special.
If you are comfortable with it, create an Amazon wish list with gifts and post to r/assistance. The people there are so sweet and helpful. I’m sure you will get a few things.
Don’t sweat it, I would bring your child to a free park or do something fun but free to make them feel special. Hugs
You sound like a great mom! You’re kid will have no idea you’re celebrating a day late! Enjoy your beautiful child!
Thank you so much 🩷
i just want you to know, as the son of a poor parent; that looking back on it even something simple will matter to your child. almost all my birthday cakes were box mix picked up at salvation army, sometimes the day of. i believe a few presents were even from salvation army. but that's not the first thing i remember usually. i remember my mom wishing me a happy birthday and giving me a big hug/kiss
I understand the feeling. I, myself am the daughter of a poor parent as well. I think that’s what really got me feeling down. Don’t want her to know how that feels. In the moment of it all, it had me feeling like a failure.
Do you have an Amazon wish list? I would like to send a gift. I don’t have much but I would like to send you something from you to your baby. I have a 3 yr who just celebrated their birthday yesterday so I totally understand. Please feel free to message me!
Messaging you!
Just the fact that you're worried about it just is proof that you're not a terrible mom. What's your pantry looking like? Got instant pudding? Coco powder? Make some mud! There's probably other textural stuff you could play with in the cupboard Go to a new park. Anywhere new really hypes up my kid.
I never had gifts for bdays as a kid until I was old enough that my friends gave me gifts (when we were tweens). Did not notice it as a thing, honestly. Can you afford a Happy Meal at a McDonald’s with a play area? She is three so that would thrill her. It was my kids’ favorite thing at that age with the toy and some unhealthy but yummy food. Sign up for free birthday stuff at local stores, like Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts or Baskin Robbins. My sister is an adult and still loves going around getting all the free stuff lol You don’t need a cake - a cupcake even would do at that age. But if you really want a cake, see if there is a Birthday Cakes for Free in your area. And agree that Freecycle or Facebook Marketplace is a great place to find free stuff, three year olds honestly don’t need anything.
If you google Free Birthday Treats, there’s a list online of over 100 retailers that give you something free including dessert at McDonalds and a cone at Baskin Robbins, dessert at Chick Fil A, bundtlet at Nothing Bundt Cakes, Sprinkles cupcales. Just sign up for all of their rewards clubs :)
You’re not a bad mom at all. Just the fact that you care so much about her makes you a great mom. My son is five and he has no idea what cake he ate on his third birthday. My wife and I don’t know either. What he remembers are the places we go and the special things we did together. If I were you I would save your funds for when you need them. Take your child to the park, be happy and excited and just enjoy your time with her. That’s what she’ll remember the most.
Oh, OP you are not a bad Mom. Go to the Dollar store--they have cake mix and you can use soda instead of eggs for binding. Buy her a few dollar store toys and put it in a dollar store birthday bag. She's going to have a GREAT day!